Chasing Young Women - When the Older Man Has Had Enough

He may have dated many young women, had sex with them, bought them, and kicked them out when they stepped out of line, but as he grows older, he no longer finds them worth chasing.  Sure, the rich, older guy has some good memories, enjoyed their company, and learned some new things, but a man who has outgrew loveless relationships and has more important things on his mind, isn't the least bit interested in entertaining or being entertained by young women.


Yet, some women think they can make a fool of an older guy by flashing him with a smile like many have done before, show off yet another pair of boobs, a behind in a tight skirt, long shapely legs, and high heels.  They will share their material requests in the hopes that he will honor them.  There was that time in his life he would have bedded these young women, gave them some cash, and sent them back home to boyfriends, but not anymore.  Times are indeed changing for the older gent.


Sometimes a man doesn't have to experience a mid-life crisis in order to reach a place in his life where he reflects on his haves and have-nots.  Rather, he simply ponders on what more he has to do before he closes his eyes.  Although he is grateful for those good times of chasing women, he realizes that he has other roles in his life that have fallen by the wayside during those skirt-chasing days.  For some men, they have sons that need to see what an honest, upright, confident, and educated man looks like and daughters in need of their fathers.  So they know that showing off their weakness for sex wouldn't be a good idea when a boy is ready to become a man while a daughter is trying to learn more about men.  Chances are his son has already took in more than a few scents of girls/women and is ready to learn more about what life has to offer besides sex and sports.  As for his daughter, she most likely have already cried her first tears over a boy or man.  But who is there to teach sons and daughters when an old guy is distracted by trivial things?


Older men, who have various health issues,  know that life hasn't been too kind to them during their days of partying.  They are well aware that their final days will soon come to an end, so they intend to make the most of them without additional stress coming from young or old women.  They hope to live the kind of lifestyle that they and their relatives will no longer feel ashamed about.  So they clean up their act, visit a church, read a good book or two, and try to live righteously.


Unsuspecting young women who believe that all they need to do to keep a mature, rich gentleman is dress themselves up and be willing to do what he asks, are surprised when, without notice, their lovers no longer have need of them.  They question what might be wrong, wonder if they have done something to offend them, or think their men have met other young women.  However, for some of these men they simply have had enough of living a lie or conducting themselves in a way that they no longer find fulfilling.  If the young woman should attempt to make the older guy change his mind about a life change, she might catch his wrath.  A determined man that desires change, can also be an evil one.  He doesn't want to be talked out of how he feels and the things he wants to do without her.


Most men, both young and old, are just not like the way they are portrayed on television screens wanting nothing more than a remote and a hot chick.  They really aren't that interested in having their lives dominated by pretty women even though many believe such nonsense.  In addition, they are not all that willing to spend their money on someone else either especially once they have retired.  An attractive, young woman is like a Christmas tree, she might come out every now and then to be admired, touched, decorated, and more, but she isn't meant to be the center of the mature guy's life on a daily basis particularly when he knows he is unwilling to put the money and time in to keep her looking and feeling beautiful.


Nicholl McGuire

In and Out of Love with Someone Older

It is a great feeling when you finally meet someone you are compatible with.  The individual is mature, attractive, wealthy, and enjoys your company.  You are happy with your selection and look forward to the future.  Of course, there are those issues that come up as you learn more about a lover--the kind of things that will stop the butterflies from fluttering in your stomach.  As a young person, you will discover that as much as you would like to remain in a bubble concerning the mature person you are dating, there will be those not-so appealing things about him or her that will burst your bubble.


Being in love with someone older doesn't have to be one of those things that stops, feelings for someone can go on and on if you let them.  If your focus is on the positive and your partner is willing to remain faithful to you, you can continue to be in love.  When one is kind and respectful to his or her partner and the actions are reciprocated, then there are no worries about the relationship.  But those people in relationships that tend to have many concerns about their age gap partnership is due to the way they are being treated by their mates.  If a partner is rude, impatient, unkind, and frugal, then there isn't any wonder why things aren't working out.


To be in love with anyone, not just someone a decade or two older, one must be willing to do the kind of things that will keep a partner interested in being with him or her and vice versa.  Yet, for some mature people, they simply don't have the energy or time to devote to another human being after spending years of dating and being married to one or more than a few.  As a result, some will not stay interested in being with a young partner for long.  Those that are burnt out with relationships and all that comes with them, find them meaningless, temporary, sex tiring, conversation mundane, and so on.  It doesn't matter how young, nice or compatible, when a mature person isn't interested in being in a relationship there will be enough signs to let you know.  With such a negative view when it comes to settling down with yet another partner, an older person (or young person) experiencing such feelings is far from being in love.  If anything, he or she should get out of the relationship as soon as possible before causing anymore damage. 


Selfish, negative people steal joy.  They don't permit others to love in the way they so desire.  They can be difficult, angry people who often disagree, fault-find, and hate various people, places and things for any number of reasons.  Unfortunately, the older some people get, the worse they can be.  This is why some mature men and women are unable to keep young partners (or those the same age), because they are uncomfortable with the aging process, unhappy with life decisions, and bitter because they didn't accomplish goals over the years.  They don't find getting older a good experience especially when a young person is able to remember more things than they, have the patience for new technology, and enjoy learning new things.  Some can be quite jealous of young people because they have plenty of time to get things right, so they assume.
 


Once it is discovered that there are far too many differences in personalities and years, the couple will eventually separate.  Whatever drew them together, no longer is strong enough to keep them together.
The process of breaking up might be difficult at first for the older as well as young person, but in time both will be content with knowing they made a good decision.  It is never a good idea to stick it out with someone you know you are no longer in love, like or lust with.


Nicholl McGuire

He's Rich, You're Not - So What is the Problem?

Young lady, you don't anticipate any issues when you start off dating a wealthy, older gentleman that has more money than you since you assume you both are in agreement when it comes to your dating arrangement.  You supply the rich man's needs (whatever those might be) and he supplies yours.  But problems do arise when a successful gentleman continues to spend his cash on you while you continue to happily receive.  But what might those issues be?


1.  He will begin to think that you are taking advantage of him.


If too many days go by and you are not holding up your end of the bargain, the older gentleman might think you are taking his kindness for weakness.  He expects that the arrangement you both agreed to will be fair.  If you feel that his demands are too much, you might want to rethink your relationship or arrangement with this individual.


2.  He will assume you're just what others had warned him about, "A gold-digger."


Sometimes guilty feelings have a way of catching up to people.  You will know that someone is whispering something in his ear negative about you and/or the relationship by the way he treats you.  To avoid verbal abuse, blaming, physical harm or anything that might be harmful to you, don't stick around if the guilt-ridden older man has made it plain that he doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer for any number of reasons whether they make sense to you or not.  It is better to escape early on then take someone abusing you verbally or physically due to guilt or shame.


3.  He will act negatively toward you if he should suddenly take an unexpected financial hit.


Some men just don't do well when it comes to spending, saving, or investing money.  Rather than do what is right when it comes to financial planning, they will blame everyone around them hoping to feel better about their mistakes.  If you know you are with someone who pretends to do well with money, but from the looks of things you know different, move on especially when he refuses to listen to sound advice.


4.  He may grow weary of assisting you financially.


When you start to feel like you are a burden to him, don't ask him for anything, create some distance, and plan to create your own wealth.  However, keep this in mind, that if he starts taking from you and you feel unfulfilled, don't hesitate to express how you feel about what he is and isn't doing for you.


5.  He might apply pressure on you to do more with your life.


One way a rich man wants you to stay out of his pocket is to encourage you to better yourself.  From suggesting you go back to college to telling you about an available position at a local company, the older man wants you to make your own money.  This is actually a good thing, because you are able to learn, grow and appreciate life more because you are in control of your own destiny.


As much as a young lady would like to reason that there is nothing wrong with dating a man for his wealth, know that sooner or later his riches will become an issue particularly when you don't have your own.


Nicholl McGuire maintains and contributes to another relationship blog here.

Something to Know about Young Women...PMS and PMDD

Relationship Advice: 4 Ways To Stop Conflict In Relationships or Marriage

Is Your Family Wrong for Disapproving of Your May-December Relationship?

Let's give your family the benefit of the doubt for a moment whether they said some very ugly things about your older or younger partner or acted strangely when you two came around, what would make them feel the way that they do?


1.  Think about the negative things you might have said in the past about your older or younger partner.  Did you say the kind of things that feed into stereotypes?  Maybe you or your mate complained about not having enough money, who do you think they will blame for your lack?  Maybe you mentioned something negative about older men or younger women, so why would you continue to date this person?


2.  Do you have a pattern of dating older or younger people and things not working out?  Why would your family want to connect with yet another one of your fly by night romances?


3.  If you have a child or children by someone else, and that person is still in contact with your family and friends, could that person (or someone else) be causing unnecessary strife behind your back?


4.  Be honest, what is this relationship really about?  How soon did you meet this person after you broke up with your previous partner?  Did you want children?  Were you having some kind of life change going on at the time i.e.) mid-life issues, bored with routine, bad breakup/divorce/separation, curious about dating young or older?


5.  You are conveying a negative attitude with your family and friends that you are unhappy with your selection.  Rather than talking with your partner about relationship ills, you are sharing information that is making your family not want to take your relationship seriously.


Consider these points and other thoughts that come to mind about your relationship.  Sometimes family members and friends can see things that we can't see in people.  They may recognize some behaviors they may have done to others in the past and don't want you to fall victim.  Other times, it is just a matter of personal opinion.  There are those people who just don't like looking at the age difference.  A gentleman that looks like a young woman's dad or uncle is just not a nice picture for some and they may even go so far as to avoid photographing the two of you together, so just be prepared for the snub this holiday season by a few.


Nicholl McGuire

7 Signs The Older Man Isn't Interested in Dating, But is Really Using You

There are those men who strongly desire a younger companion to have a reasonably normal relationship.  But then there are others, who aren't thinking about dating young women (or even girls) seriously, rather they see them as dollar signs that they can pimp, hustle, and play with. 


A young woman or a rebellious teen who is not street smart and has very little information when it comes to relating to men will be easily entrapped in a lifestyle that will be difficult to get out of with her mind, body and spirit still intact.  Beautiful women have aged rapidly, gone crazy, caught sexually transmitted diseases, had unwanted children, got on welfare rolls, and did things that have negatively impacted their lives as a result of chasing after or being caught by manipulative older men. 


If you suspect that a charming, older guy seems to be very interested in you (to the point that it makes you feel nervous or strange,) notice other signs as well.


1.  He either ignores your comments about a future relationship with him or pretends he is interested in a relationship with you, but his body language/mannerisms says otherwise.


While showing interest in you, does he also mention things about how he can help you and what he will do for you if you do ABC for him?  Does he get close to you when he talks, touches you a lot, and makes you feel a bit uncomfortable?  If so, he is already setting the tone of the relationship, he expects you to comply with his wishes by being pushy, controlling, and deceptive. 


2.  He is eager to introduce you to "some friends."


He seems almost too excited to show you off to his friends.  He tells you that you will like them.  He boasts about who they are and their connections.  He doesn't give you too much information about them, because he doesn't want you poking around the Internet.  He may only use nicknames or he may use an existing business (not affiliated with them) to throw you off.  You won't find out the truth if you rush into anything.  If you wait before jumping in, it won't be long before the liar's true colors will appear.  Mention that you would like to share this information about the people and business with a friend from law enforcement, then watch his reaction.  Take the time to do some investigative work.  And whatever you do, don't drink or eat anything he or "they" offer you and take a relative or friend with you (advise them not to eat or drink anything either) when you go to meet some of his "friends."


3.  He offers to buy you a very expensive item without really knowing you yet.


Now why would he be so quick to buy you something?  Did you promise sex?  If so, then you are putting yourself in a position to make good on the deal.  It is never too late to back out, no matter how much he says, "You promised...I thought we had a deal."

4.  He puts off meeting your relatives and friends.


Shady men, especially those who grew up where your relatives are from, don't want any parts of them simply because it is a small world.  He doesn't want to take a chance bumping into one of your relatives when he knows he has a long troubled track record.  He also doesn't want you to know what he is really about.  He knows that your family and friends will sound the alarm if they so much as suspect that he is using you.


5.  He doesn't want you taking any photos of him, his car, or any pictures inside or around his residence.


Men who have something to hide, don't want it getting out that they are with possibly "the other woman" or a young lady who could be old enough to be his daughter--this is still considered shameful in many circles.


6.  He claims that he is being honest with you even though you notice that there are some things off about the stories he tells.


If you performed a background check, there may be some things he says that is inconsistent with what you found.  Of course, he will explain things away especially if he isn't who claims to be.  Don't permit any man to convince you that what you know as fact is incorrect, inaccurate, or a lie.  That's what he wants you to think so that he can continue to manipulate you.


7.  He connects you with someone or a group for a so-called job opportunity which really turns out to be something that is offensive, illegal, or strange, then he becomes distant.


You are left in the hands of strangers who will attempt to persuade you to do what they ask and you will be well compensated.  However, in time, things will get ugly and you might find yourself entrapped in a lifestyle of being drugged, raped, beaten, and more.  Most likely, the older man was given a stipend or some other benefit for recommending you to the person or group.


When you notice some or all of the previously mentioned signs, just know that this is a character that you ought to stay far away from.  Individuals like this are only concerned about one thing and that is getting what they want.  As much as some of you young ladies reading this would like to believe that charming, too-good-to-be-true types sincerely love and care for you, unfortunately you will learn later that they are users and abusers.  With so many beautiful, successful women their own age, you have to ask, why would a seemingly prosperous, mature man choose me?  Something is obviously wrong.


Nicholl McGuire, Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Dating Older Men: Personal Experience Things I Wished I Knew

How Do You Know the Older Man is Really as Clean as He Looks?

The gentleman dresses nice and smells good when he comes around you, this mature man is definitely making a good impression on you.  But is he really as clean as he portrays himself to be?  In order to find out how good this man really is when it comes to taking care of his personal business when he is away from you requires careful observation and a good sense of smell.


1.  Notice if the older guy washes his hands or uses hand sanitizer prior to eating something.  Are there hand wipes in his car?  Does he clean his hands after pumping gas or spending a long day shaking hands with people?  Now some guys might be germaphobes which is a sign they have one or more OCDs, but those who simply don't want to catch a cold or simply think it is unwise to use dirty hands to open a piece of candy or gum, are going to be mindful of cleanliness.


2. When your date visits you at your home, does he head to the refrigerator or prepares food without washing his hands?  This is a clear sign that either his mother didn't educate him well on cleanliness or he simply forgot his mannerisms.


3.  When you visit his residence are there old traces of urine on and around the toilet?  What about the sink and bath areas does it look like it hasn't been cleaned in weeks? Is there often a funny smell coming from his kitchen and are countertops and floors full of days of sticky stuff and crumbs?  If yes is the answer to all previous questions, keep in mind you will not only be a potential girlfriend but a maid too.


4.  Check out the outside and inside of his automobile.  A rich man who doesn't take care of a pricey automobile unfortunately isn't interested in taking care of much else (but his professional business of course).  A poor man who is just getting by while driving an unsightly vehicle isn't quite ready to commit to a relationship.  For he knows that to care for a woman costs much money, but if she has a good job--he is all-too-open for a potential relationship.  He knows he doesn't have to work as hard.  A car that is not well-maintained says a lot about the kind of man you are involving yourself with.


5.  Observe the walls and floors of his home.  From dirty markings to nasty stains in the carpeting, what is he doing besides going to work and seeing you?  It isn't difficult to shampoo a carpet or wipe dirt marks off a wall.  Does he bother to go above and beyond to make sure his environment is visually pleasing when you and relatives come over?  Once again, think about the future, he just might expect you to do the things he doesn't want to do.


6.  Most men don't dust.  Those who do are very detailed about other areas of their homes like the way shoes are organized and how it is decorated.  These guys can be hard to deal with if you aren't clean and organized.  If their moms were extremely organized, they can be too.  Some are so good about keeping their homes clean to the point that you have to question, "What will I be getting myself into?"  These men will not hesitate to tell you if you are putting something back in the wrong place.


7.  Bedding, washcloths and towels should be changed often.  If you are repeatedly visiting his residence and notice that these things still haven't been washed, not only is this not a good sign he isn't as clean as he claims, but also watch sleeping and using his things especially if he is dating others.  Uncleanliness will create a breeding ground for all sorts of issues including the sexually transmitted disease crabs.


8.  Does he bother to clean himself after a bowel movement, prior to sex or afterward, or a workout?  The unsightly things and smelly odors left behind on clothing, bedding, furniture and floors can be an immediate turnoff for anyone when visiting a person's dwelling.  Most people don't want to smell or view any body fluids especially after a sexual act has long been over.  If you find that the man doesn't bother to wash himself or the items that he uses, be cautious of him. 


9.  When was the last time he visited a dentist?  You will know by the way his breath smells and his teeth look.  Frequent complaints about his teeth hurting, needing a tooth pull or something else related to dental care are signs that he has not been good about caring for his teeth.  Also, keep in mind that the older a man is the more likely he will lose some teeth.


10.  Whether prior to sex or afterward he is talking about the way his body feels such as: aches, pain, strange sensations, and other things, this is also a clear sign he needs to stay on top of his doctor's appointments.  Men who avoid doctor check-ups and don't maintain a healthy body weight have all sorts of bodily problems from strange smells to sudden pains. 


If you should comment about cleaning or organizing certain things in his dwelling or mention something unflattering about his body issues and he takes offense no matter how nice you say how something looks or feels, don't make any apologies, you know what the future will look like between you and he.  Disputes over going to the doctor, complaints about bad smells, who will put the dishes in the dishwasher, who will wash the laundry, clean the carpets, dust, etc.


When it comes to dating mature or younger men, remember just because they look clean, doesn't mean that they are.  Simple things like washing hands and body, brushing teeth and gargling, going to the doctor's for a check-up, maintaining the household and his vehicle shouldn't be an issue for most mature men.  But if they are, just know that the individual is either too busy, old, lazy, or crazy to give a d*mn. 


If you don't mind assisting the mature gentleman with housekeeping (not being a maid for him) and could care less about the way his body looks or smells, then by all means continue to go about loving the older man just the way that he is.


Nicholl McGuire 

Preying Older Men Praying to Get Young Women to Use for Money

There are older men who legitimately want a relationship with young women, yet there are others who are looking to pimp them.  These men are not to be trusted.  No matter what they promise, what assets they claim they have, or how much they compliment these young women, their only plan is to make money with them and lots of it.


On this site, we don't encourage or endorse the kind of behavior that is immoral and illegal.  We simply provide practical tips to an audience who desires companionship whether long or short-term.  We know that young women are going to want to date older men and vice versa, so why not talk about it?  But this business of baiting young women to ultimately use them as sex slaves is wrong!  For some preying older men, they would retort, "Says who?"  Says the parents, law enforcement, organizations, and others who don't want you involved with their daughters for financial gain that's who!


Please be advised young women to think twice before agreeing to meet/sleep with/entertain a preying older man who does the following:


1.  Approaches you in an atmosphere that predominately attracts youth.


2.  Often chats with you on a social media page or dating website about sexual things and pressures you to meet him in person often.


3.  Lies or covers up about things like:  marital status, age, where he lives, works, etc.  Always perform a background check.


4.  Vaguely explains or can't explain markings on his body especially private parts.


5.  Takes particular interest in an older relative or friend of yours while attempting to get close to you.


6.  Frequents places that you know are shady or dangerous.


7.  Claims to be a Christian or have some other faith, but his behavior contradicts the word of God.


8.  Rushes to give you all his contact information and arranges to have sex with you especially during the first meeting.


9.  Promises he will help you with your personal issues, but not without expecting something in return.


10.  Cyber-stalks you, drops by your residence, befriends people you know, and makes you feel uncomfortable when talking to you (i.e. stares wildly, looks at your body parts but rarely makes eye contact, hypersexual behaviors such as frequently touching you, talks a lot about what he wants you to do for him...)

Preying older men never have just one young lady they are conversing with.  They usually have others they have either had sex with or plan to have sex with.  They will not say much to young women about their personal lives, who they might know, and where they might go when not with them.  They tend to be secretive, uncaring, and stubborn in their ways.  These men are often unhappy, wrestle occasionally with feelings of guilt, quick-tempered, and have a long trail of broken hearts.  Some of these preying older men are emotionally and physically abusive.


If you know someone like this, be sure to pray about the situation.  Confide in someone you trust and seek out online and offline resources that can help you.  Take the time to Google: Human Sex Trafficking Warning Signs.


Nicholl McGuire

What on Earth Do You Want? A Young, Sweet Woman or a Nasty One?

It seems that mean, nasty and rude girls are taking over reality television.  The louder and wilder they are, the more people tune in.  On top of all the arrogant behavior is also sexy dressed women who draw equally prideful, nasty men to their beds.  You get what you attract.


A mature man who desires a young, sweet woman on the street, yet a freak in the bedroom, may not get that. He may also be out of luck finding a woman who doesn't know when to turn the freak off.  A young woman may look beautiful and appear intelligent, but her selection in clothing, places to live and interests might say otherwise.  Nasty women typically like nasty boys.  Sweet women desire sweet men.  Yet, with so much brainwashing going on in society, couples are all mixed up and it isn't any wonder why some relationships just don't make it.  Sweet can't stand nasty anymore.  Nasty finds sweet boring...you get the picture.


A mature man must know what he wants.  He can't have it all although he think he can.  What exactly is "all" anyway?  Since no single woman can provide it all.  He will look to find many women to suit different needs like the young woman does who has yet to commit to any one man.  The desire to have it all is different depending on who you talk to.  Some men want beauty, charm, honesty, respect, and more in their women.  Others just want beauty and sex.  Then there are still others who want as much as they can get including a potential steady girlfriend or wife.  But most men who are looking to relax, tired of the dating scene, prefer the sweet woman over the nasty one with an attitude any day.


Nicholl McGuire

Age Gaps In Relationships: The Challenges

Sex with a Married Man

Is She Really Worth Getting into Trouble?

Some men don't think before they react to a beautiful woman (or possibly young girl) in their presence.  They don't bother to think about the consequences if they should say or do something that could end up putting them in hot water with someone, law enforcement or an angry group.  Not every piece of eye candy is who she says she is.

With so many dating websites and so many liars who create profiles on each, one must be very discerning when it comes to selecting a pretty young companion on or offline.  Most women seeking older men know exactly what they want from them.  They also know what they are willing to give up to get what they want.  However, some will change their minds, pretend as if they don't know what is expected of them, or cry or complain about being taken advantage of.

Being that older men are considered "the mature ones" in a relationship, who should know better, they are expected to conduct themselves accordingly.  Some things to consider before letting one's flesh override good ole' common sense is as follows when it comes to dating younger women.

1.  Think before you speak.  Although this is a simple tip, many men don't exercise caution with their tongues.  If you know you don't really like or care for the young lady, don't tell her so in a mean-spirited way, but you will have to create some distance--stringing her along is a big No, No!  Women can lose their minds if they suspect that they are being played.  If you have no plans on meeting her relatives and friends, then make that plain too, but watch how you say that as well.  This way she is free to make a decision on whether or not she wants to continue to see you.

2.  Never assume she is the age she claims.  Far too many young women know how to dress themselves up like celebrities and do well hiding their age.  Be sure that you not only checked her ID, but got other information about her that proves she is as old as she claims.  Maybe you should meet a friend or two of her's, better safe than sorry later.  Notice how her friends act and what they say, you can tell right away just how old the young person really is. 

3.  Ask about interests whether you care about having a relationship or not with her.  This information is useful, because you want to be sure to have a good time with your companion, but you also want to confirm just how old this young lady really is.

4.  Avoid going anywhere in the public with the young woman until you know for sure all you need to know about who she is, where she is from, how old she is, who she knows, etc.  It's a small world and you don't want to find out one day you are dating a client's daughter, bedding a cousin on your wife's side of the family, or spending money on a love child of yours that you didn't know you had.

Now let's just say you are already in over your head with the young woman.  Maybe you have children with her or possibly married to her already, you will definitely need to have a long talk with yourself and seek some advice from others who have been in a similar situation. 

If you feel uncomfortable being with her for any reason, don't ignore the signs.  Ask yourself, what is it that you, her or the two of you have done that makes you feel like she simply isn't worth all this trouble?  Do you have people whispering negative things in your ear about your mate?  Do you personally feel like this is someone you no longer want in your life?  Are you going through a life change personally or professionally and find it hard trying to balance a relationship too?

Whatever the issue, know that you will need to start making the necessary steps to bring you peace of mind.  Avoid staying in a situation just because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, if the relationship isn't for you, it just isn't.  Move on. 

Think of the many men who should have followed their gut instinct when they had a chance and left an age gap relationship, but didn't.  Some of these men are now deceased, jobless, incarcerated, or lost their wives and children as a result of messing with a crazy, young woman.  Also, consider this, you can drive a young lady crazy when you do the following:  act as if you don't know what you want, are unwilling to work on the relationship and treat her with respect, make promises you can't keep, cheat, or lie to her. 

No woman in her right mind is going to keep taking any form of abuse, know what you want.

Nicholl McGuire

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: A Personal Experience by Nicholl McGuire

Jealous, Insecure Women in Relationships Comparing Themselves to Exs

It's challenging enough dating mature men and then to make matters worse, there are the ex-wives and girlfriends that don't seem to go away along with the unsupportive relatives and friends.  It isn't any wonder why a young woman would have her share of doubts about the relationship. 

Domestic Violence Awareness - Abusers Recruiting the Next Generation

Beyonce and Jay-Z: Young Woman Married to Older Man

When we view celebrities like Beyoncé and Jay-Z in the media, we see an A-list African American couple in an age-gap relationship who are entertainers, successful at what they do, but still people. 

It is obvious that someone, a group or the couple themselves are keeping people interested in reading, writing, and talking about them--it's business.  The more star power, the more money.  However, what we also see is something unfolding that isn't so business related, two human beings evolving and a relationship supposedly coming to an end every other week.  This is particularly interesting since both are not only different in years, but also in the way that they express themselves. 

You can see that Jay-Z is a mid-life male who is not like some of the young rappers/businessmen who wear jeans saggy, decorate themselves in tattoos, and talk much slang.  He is older, more mature, financially secure, and is interested in his family.  But he is just a man.  One who has needs just like his wife. 

Now when the relationship challenges came up in the media, it wasn't any surprise something similar came up prior to their marriage which involved cheating and then showed up again in recent years.  When you live under the media's microscope like they do, you can't afford to mess up.  As a celebrity, you don't move through life's journey without little fan-fare, everyone is watching.  Cheat on your wife or husband and someone will find a way to get the news back to others.  Lie about your whereabouts and the witnesses will report back to the camp especially if they want your wife or husband.  Beyoncé is someone's or group's fantasy--powerful men all want a piece of Beyoncé.  Her beyond sexy dance moves and attire seem to come across as a sells pitch that lures many buyers.  She has big fans out there with large bank accounts that would love to bed her.  She is also a good distraction from worldly events as well.  If a man is paying attention to this young woman's provocative moves (see the old movie Metropolis), he has lost his train of thought when it comes to issues that sincerely matter, but I digress.  Older men, most likely more powerful and older than her husband, want a piece of Beyoncé, she calms them when they view her.

On the other hand Jay-Z and his wife might be growing weary of married life, there is always some grain of truth in rumors.  The husband wasn't always a man who had a reverence for women, according to his past rhymes.  He also wasn't (and still isn't) a model for the family life either and neither is his wife.  They are simply people, not role models.  Sometimes even if individuals want to change their ways, a society who expects them to behave in certain ways (especially when money is involved and their brand is at stake) won't let them change. 

Middle-aged people who have reflected on their past life decisions might do some things differently depending on what they have accomplished thus far and whether they are satisfied with their achievements which also includes family life--there is no separating them when you have them.  The human spirit will always be connected somehow some way no matter who you run off and date or impregnate.  Yet, many aging men become bored or grow weary of the stress of family.  They look for what they think is a more exciting life elsewhere or they desire a more quiet life and move far away from their past. 

Women who are more in love with working than family may never change.  Look how much time and energy Beyoncé's team uses to keep her busy!  These career-focused women might have experienced some negative things growing up or witnessed the ladies in their family go through many trials.  Therefore, they never want to be put in any position where they have to respect, rely, be submissive, or appreciate a man.  Thinking back to how Beyoncé was packaged at the start of her career, an independent woman, she isn't showing any signs of settling down anytime too soon.  Rather she is still encouraging women to work and work and work.  But what happens is that between all of the work, a man is saving much money and doesn't have to work as hard for his family.  A woman's life hasn't become easier, it has only become more demanding.  Many women are dying before men nowadays.

Yet, as we mature, what we used to want/like/need and more in years past, isn't necessarily what we desire today.  The ups and downs of Beyoncé and Jay-Z's relationship have been shared with us through their own songs and you get some idea through media interviews with them and others who know them or know the extended family.  For years, the couple managed to overcome some storms, but the aftermath of some of their issues spilled out on the stage. 

Being in an age gap relationship has its mental and physical challenges, there is no denying these struggles and not everyone can handle them.  Sure, it's nice to be with someone wealthy, charming or beautiful, but there has to be more that one loves/likes/appreciates than the superficial or obvious.

The facts show that Beyoncé and Jay-Z lived-together prior to marriage, experienced a miscarriage, had a baby, became close to President Obama and family during his term, and have received special favor as well i.e.) Beyoncé, like Marilyn Monroe, sang before the President and his wife, visited the White House numerous times, and traveled to places that other celebrities may never see in their lifetimes.  Beyoncé and Jay-Z have written and produced many songs that weren't all positive about their relationship as well as others.

With so much accomplishment and much time away from one another (which invites all kinds of distractions), an older man and a younger woman, regardless of their age and wealth, will not always agree no more than a couple who is also rich and closer in age.  But what is different is the seasons of life and the maturing process that takes place in age-gap relationships.  Age differences can either further widen with each challenge that comes up, or depending on the circumstances, come together through determination to be together come what may. 

Public melt-downs, arguments, illness, cheating, pregnancy, over-spending, and more have changed relationships between celebrities over the years and will continue.  Beyoncé and Jay-Z did well  keeping quiet during media interviews about their age gap relationship, but there is a lot said in a song, a movie choice, a photograph, and a public appearance.  Not that long ago, Beyoncé's sister Solange rang the alarm similar to the anger that Beyoncé showed in her song, "Ring the Alarm."

As much as no one likes for family and friends to get into our personal business, there are times when they are involved because we put them in it.  We conversed with them about our "issues", invited them to our events, attended their functions, assisted them when in trouble and vice versa, and more.  When you are connected to so many, who sincerely care about you, they will notice when your relationship isn't right.  It is a known fact that many African American men can be controlling.  Considering the bad history that the populace has experienced, it isn't any wonder.  Now put an age in years on the man acting controlling, and you will soon discover the people, places and things that influenced him to act bossy and verbally or non-verbally abusive.

When a young woman has sex with an older man and produces a child, that too comes with its share of issues.  Some women experienced great stress during pregnancy and afterward, because a man was ill-equipped to handle, not only his own mid-life challenges, but the mother's changes as well.  Babies face all sorts of health issues depending on how old a parent might be. If there are mental and physical challenges, parents have to face those too.

So if there is anything one takes away from this high profile celebrity couple's age gap relationship, may it be that you look out for the mental and physical issues that arise in your own, address them as soon as you can, don't pretend as if they don't exist, and respect the fact that age does matter sometimes.

Nicholl McGuire

When the Old Man is Tired of the Young Woman

Some women just make older men more tired than they already are.  These men have to contend with their own share of internal issues, but then along comes a younger woman who has a long list of fun things to do, volumes of conversation, a large network of family and friends, and plenty happening in her life.  The older man is not ready for this, yet he convinces himself that he is.  The young lady is excited about the future and glad to be dating someone older that is until...

You might be that guy who is with someone like the young woman described.  But as each day passes by, you are so over the mid-life crisis thing and can bravely admit, "I'm tired.  I just want to relax after work.  Sit on the couch on weekends and enjoy the television."  Absolutely nothing wrong with that if you prefer to be alone or with someone closer to your age who enjoys the same thing.  But if you are going to date younger, you will need to stop hoping the young woman will conform; rather, let her go.

Now saying good-bye to a beauty with a lot of energy is no easy feat, but if you want to live a little while longer without the additional stress of trying to keep up with her say, "Adios!"  Far too many mature men date younger women and make both parties feel miserable, because they want to control the younger woman.  When she wants to fly, the older guy wants to put her back in her cocoon.  When she plans to relocate, get educated, try something new, or break up with him, the mature man figures out a way to lure her back to him.  If she asks for his support, the older, insecure type worries that his money or time will be in vain and that off she will go with someone younger.  This can all be so mentally and physically draining!  In time, the old man is seated on the couch tired of putting up a fight, yet he doesn't want his young partner to leave either.  Go figure!?

So if you are that mature man who has reached a point where you just don't see it benefiting anymore to date younger, but you still want to keep that pretty young thing around, do yourself and her a favor, (since you are supposed to be the wiser of the two) let her be free!

Nicholl McGuire
 

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What's Love Got to Do With It? He's a Sugar Daddy

Some rich men take no offense when they are dating women who are with them not because they love them or even find them attractive, but because they have money.  These Sugar Daddies don't see anything wrong with a young gold-digger who is a 10 on the beauty scale wanting a little cash to maintain her expensive appearance.  These Sugar Dads know that she does what she can to appease him in ways that aren't for public eyes.

A young woman who seeks a rich, handsome man does so, because she has needs that men her own age or younger just can't fulfill.  When a man who is established, successful in life, approaches her, she can't help but feel special.  She doesn't mind working out a deal, so to speak, with her wealthy companion.  For those who judge her and her partner's arranged relationship, she doesn't care much.  The caring doesn't come into play until the rich man is no longer holding up his end of the bargain. 

Some women do end up marrying their Sugar Daddys.  They appear to be happy with their lifestyle even if they aren't so content with their husbands. 

Life is difficult and can be even more challenging when there never seems to be enough money to live comfortably.

Nicholl McGuire 

Older Guy: 6 Things You Can Do to Keep a Young Woman Interested in You

The mature man will not always hold the top spot in his young date's life when he slacks in how he treats her, becomes lazy about keeping up his body, and overall doesn't care about her.  There will always be a man or two willing to do what he no longer wants to do.  Thanks to the Internet, it is far too easy to emotionally connect with someone in the hopes of meeting him or her offline one day. 

Couples have their work cut out for them if they hope to stay together.  A May-December romance will quickly fizzle out if neither person is willing to do the kind of things that will draw one another close.  So what might an older man do to keep his young beauty on his arm besides buy her things, give her money, and make promises?

1.  Do what you did during the courtship.

You worked to get her, so work to keep her.  What did you do early on in the relationship that made her smile?  What could you do to make her think of how special you are?  How do you remain relevant in her life like a fame-starved celebrity would want to be to his or her fans?

2.  Improve your attire and be sure to smell good.

Most young women do much to make themselves look appealing, so it would make sense that she would want to look at a nice-looking man while smelling a nice odor coming from him.  Yet, there are men who don't care much about smelly breath, under-arms, private areas, or feet and then wonder why she doesn't want to kiss or have sex.  Go figure!?

3.  Exercise.

So many older men feel insecure around younger men simply because they don't bother to work-out and do things that will improve their bodies.  Instead of feeling like your young woman is going to run off with the next man she sees, do something that will make her feel good about having sex with you.

4.  Do things she likes sometimes.

Will it really hurt to give up a personal day, leave a job early, or take a holiday and enjoy time with your woman?  She has told you about an upcoming event, so clear your schedule and go with her.  Your efforts will be remembered and you just might have a woman who will appreciate you because you show how much you care about her and the people and activities that come with her.

5.  Listen rather than advise so much.

Sometimes mature men tend to give far too much advice and not enough of a listening ear or vice versa.  Find the balance when you are in your lady's presence and be open to what she has to say about everything from her job to how she feels about you.

6.  Change routine and offer to include her
.
Never assume that she doesn't want to tag along when you go somewhere especially if you both haven't been spending much time together lately.  There is nothing wrong with doing some things different.  Rather than spend each weekend in front of the television screen, why not drive to a local town and window-shop, take a walk in the park, visit an attraction, take a class, or visit a cool family member or friend you both like.

The more you give, hopefully the more you will get in return.  If you are an older guy who sincerely would like to make things work in your relationship, then sit back, evaluate what you are doing and not doing, and take the time to make changes.  Check in with your lady friend to see how you are doing and share your personal feelings and thoughts on what she can do to help you be the best guy for her.

Nicholl McGuire also shares relationship advice here.
 

10 Signs Time to Call it Quits - When Younger Woman No Longer is Into Older Guy

You knew the day would come when your young date would stop liking you so much and start acting negatively toward you.  There are pros and cons to being older, and no matter what you do the cons tend to outweigh the pros. 

You have already tried to keep your young lady's interest by doing things you use to do that she once enjoyed.  You have attempted to perform a make-over on your physique.  You have bought your date much.  All these things and more are simply not holding her interest.  It is safe to say that it just might be time to call it quits.  Could she also be doing the following too?

1.  She rarely makes eye contact. 
2.  The young woman frowns when she takes one look at you without your ever saying anything. 
3.  She isn't the least bit interested in how you look when you make improvements to yourself.
4.  Your date rarely, if ever, compliments you.
5.  She tells you she doesn't like you anymore.
6.  She makes jokes about your body shape, graying hair, wrinkles, etc.
7.  She frequently sighs when you complain about body aches and being tired.
8.  Her eyes often wander, she finds men her own age or younger more attractive.
9.  She acts disrespectful when you talk.
10.  She doesn't like going places with you especially events that cater to her age group.

Sometimes a mature man has reached a point in his life where he grows weary of having to appease someone that he knows he really has no real connection.  His observant young partner might take notice and display signs that she doesn't feel that the relationship is worth preserving any longer as well.  When this happens, one or both will need to sit down and talk about going separate ways; rather than continuing to make one another feel miserable. 

Once you break up, most likely someone in your circle will tell you, "I told you so..." grin and bear it--you already knew it wouldn't work.

Nicholl McGuire

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Breaking Up with a Young Woman Will Reveal Just How Mature She Really Is

Rejection is hard for anyone to accept especially when it comes to relationships.  When someone sits before you and explains why he or she no longer wants to be with you, it can wreck havoc on your emotions at least for awhile.  For an older man who comes to the realization that a young woman is not what he wants in his life right now (although days, weeks, months or even years before he would have fought to keep her), breaking up can be a challenging experience that just might reveal some information one just might not want to hear.

A young woman most likely has gone through some negative experiences trying to stay in a relationship with an older man that she has yet to voice.  The idea that she might have wasted time with someone half her age or older only for the man to one day reject her just might cause her to throw out a myriad of expletives, insults and blows.

The young woman might have experienced middle-aged women's stares and thought, "I love him, who cares?"  She may have dealt with the negative attitudes from the older man's relatives and friends and said to herself, "I don't have to deal with any of them."  There were also those unsightly and smelly experiences that came with her older man's aging process and she told herself, "So what, one day I will get old too."  But then one day, the man who once gave her security and attention tells her that he doesn't want to be with her anymore, "The nerve of him...the crap I had to put up with just to be with his ugly, old...," she thinks.  You get the point.

The truth starts coming out of a sharp tongue, "So you want to be with an old b*tch, don't you?  Menopause, saggy breasts, dry and loose you know what...you think she is better than me!  You fat, balding guy...go right ahead date your gray-haired prune!"  This is the day that no middle-aged guy, who thinks he isn't so bad looking, wants to experience, she goes on, "You know you can't stay hard and I hate it...and by the way did you really think I would have kids with an old guy?"

A man who experiences a barrage of insults and anger from a young lady who he thought at one time was so mature might be baffled, too hurt to respond, or is nonchalant about her reactions to the break up.  But whatever the response, the young woman's true age shows up and shows out.  The idea that a mature man ever thought that the young lady might have been The One goes out the window. 

An older man who isn't convinced that being with a young woman is what he wants, would be best to talk to her in a public area, text, email, or converse over the phone.  Make it plain that you very much want to move on with your life and will no longer be accepting any phone calls or emails from her.  Then give yourself a needed break and when you are ready, seek a mature woman who can relate to you.

Nicholl McGuire

Young Women for Older Men ( youngerwomenwitholdermen.com ) My Story

When the Older Man Wants Children

He claims that he wants a baby, but the truth is he wasn't much of a dad to the children he already has  The young woman isn't too happy with her older boyfriend's request, so she ponders and she ponders, "Not interested," her brain replies.  In time, the relationship ends and the older man is on to the next one.

Planning a pregnancy, raising children, and saying goodbye to sons and daughters isn't easy.  A young woman who wasn't that long ago a child isn't going to be happy about having a baby with someone who just might not be the man of her dreams--especially when she has a lot of plans inside that mind of hers.  The best thing a mature man can do in a situation like this is permit the young lady to live her life, not persuade her to have children.  Imagine this, frequent doctor's appointments, weight gain, hair loss, a gassy newborn, sleepless nights, mommy blues, bills and more bills, diaper changes, and other things that she or her older partner may or may not be ready for at this point in their lives.

Yet, there are those men who will use manipulative mind control to get a young woman to at least consider having their babies for they know older women, possibly with children of their own are uninterested.  It would make sense for a young woman to protect herself at all times especially if she is with a man who has communicated many times his desire to have children.

Now if you are in a relationship with a young woman who might want to have children with you, once again no pressure.  If anything, one should be supportive in helping her get dreams accomplished (i.e. marriage might be a part of her plan) and who knows, the reward might be a baby one day--that is if she really wants to be a mom.  However, there are many women who have no interest in being a mother particularly in their twenties and if this has been communicated, you would be better off looking for someone else who really does want to be a mom.

Nicholl McGuire 

A Player with a Private Problem - When the Older Man Thinks It's the Ladies

He was a man who had a lot of lovers in his youth, beautiful ugly, older, younger, tall, short, fat, skinny in many different hues.  Yet, he had a problem, one that his family didn't know about.

It wasn't that he didn't have much money, he had more than enough.  His issue wasn't an addiction, oftentimes he was sober.  He didn't have a mental problem, he proved time and time again he had plenty of sense.  No, his issue was that member below, that love stick.  It worked when it felt like it.

Now this man wasn't physically fit, nor was he an eye-catcher.  But he had a way with words.  He complimented women, made them laugh, and gave them a gift or two when he really liked certain ones.  The young ladies had no clue he had personal problems until he kept them around for awhile.  As he grew older, the man realized that his younger companions might catch on to his secret, so he learned not to date them for long.

The man liked to blame his lovers for not turning him on or start disputes to distract the women's minds from what was really going on with him in the bedroom.  He would act as if he didn't like one or two, when he really did, there was one he actually loved once upon time.  Yet, his pride would get the best of him and he just couldn't admit that it wasn't that the women didn't turn him on anymore, he just couldn't remain erect. 

His private issue wasn't a new problem, he had struggled with it for years.  Medicines, herbal remedies, and supplements only complicated matters.  Exercise gave him a thrill once in awhile. 

When it came to dating, the frustrated, lonely man put on a smile, dressed well, and acted as if he was on top of the world while inside he was bitter with his Creator, "Why me!?" he exclaimed one day.  There was no answer from his Maker.

Family and friends who admired the player had no clue.  They reasoned, "He knows how to get them...he is good at what he does!"  Sure, he was good at drawing women into his world, but keeping them, well that was another matter. 

Little did loved ones know what was really up or shall we say down with him.

Nicholl McGuire

How To Go Out With Younger Women

Great Information Source on Dating the Affluent, Sugar Daddies and Others

Ever wonder what you are doing right or wrong when it comes to dating older or younger?  The following site is packed with insightful articles on dating mature gentleman.  Start equipping yourself with the knowledge you need to get what you want! Click here.

On Dating Older Guys: When the Young Lady Realizes Her Youth Isn't Forever

Every young woman experiences varying seasons of being ignorant, naïve, silly, and fragile when it comes to dealing with life issues.  A mature man knows this and most often will not think too much about having a long-lasting, committed relationship with a young woman/girl who is still developing mentally and physically.  However, there are those men who are excited about the possibility of playing the role of naughty teacher to an unsuspecting student while others simply desire a quality relationship.  Despite age differences, issues related to immaturity, family members' concerns, and more, some older men will continue to work at building a relationship with their younger partners.

It can be sometimes shameful and embarrassing for some senior men to date younger women with a 30 plus age gap, and so they will end good times before they become challenging ones.  Others are nonchalant when it comes to the older dating younger relationship and will continue to be with very young women/girls despite what people their own age and older warn.  These men reason, "As long as I am having a good time, who cares what they think?"  Notice "I" not we is in the previous statement. 

But one day, the young woman/girl will start to notice that her youth is passing her by.  She might find that acting like anyone but herself isn't what she wants to do.  She may start to listen to wise counselors while coming to the realization that maybe being with an older man just isn't for her.  The young lady's requests for money and other things from her older man will eventually not suffice and the nagging feeling within her will one day question, "Youth and beauty are passing you by, what more do you want out of life besides sex and things?"

Most young women/girls don't reach any "aha" moment of being used and abused or being the user or abuser until they hit rock bottom in their lives.  It is when they start to feel like someone has robbed them of something or they have missed out on life that they start looking around for someone or something to blame.  The fantasy of love and forever bliss is wiped away with reality and heartbreak for her, the lover or both.

A mature man might walk away from his spoiled creation sooner or later, but may return again like a drug addict needing yet another fix.  The same might occur with the young woman.   The time will come when hard decisions must be reached to be in or out of the relationship.  An older man, who knows better, will  recognize his young woman is evolving and like a butterfly, he will watch her fly freely.  But the controlling, abusive type will attempt to put a "pretty young thing" back into her cocoon.  In the eyes of the narcissist and the psychopath, she is nothing more than a "thing" anyway.

Watch Nicholl McGuire's videos on the narcissist and the psychopath here.  She also maintains Love Dating Advice
 

Charmed into Dating Still Married, Older Guys

They can be incredibly nice, sophisticated, handsome seniors who know how to talk the talk and walk the walk.  It doesn't matter to these guys that they are in troubled marriages, married living separately, getting a divorce or the divorce is still pending, or even happily married, these older Don Juan types know how to talk a young woman's panties off while leaving her wanting for more!

But what about the fact he is married?  And what about all the drama that comes with being involved with married men or is there any?  Some older guys will keep the drama away while they play.  They will tell the wife they are just doing things like:  visiting friends, working late, working out, hanging out with friends, or spending time at a favorite place, but the reality is these married men are seeking either something new in the meantime or a replacement. 

The young woman, who just might be in a miserable relationship of her own, doesn't care much that the older man, who has a way with words, is married, but then again the thought just might cross her mind that to date him is wrong.  Yet, the way the man makes her feel means more than what's right or wrong particularly if she hasn't felt alive with a partner in years!  The broken woman, who is in the process of or has divorced her husband doesn't contemplate too much about the married man's status either especially if he is generous with his money.  Then there are those young women, who like the Don Juan, may have a complicated personal life, but they too would like to play while keeping the drama of current or old boyfriends away.  The charmer studies the one he has charmed to see how strong she is morally before planting seeds of getting together one day.

For some of these married men, who enjoy talking to and sexing young women, they aren't much on thinking too deeply about the future.  They don't bother to think about the many problems that come with being a cheat.  Families are often left destroyed, young women can and will get pregnant eventually, wives might want to reconcile, children misbehave as a result of tension at home, and so on.  Meanwhile, the pretty young woman sits back and listens to the words of someone who just might be her worst nightmare.

If you are being pursued by an unavailable man, play out his personal life in your head based on what he has told you as well as what you can see with your own two eyes before risking possibly your life or his. Some wives just don't take marital vows lightly and may not exhibit self-control if they should find out their husbands are cheating.  Once you know that dating a married man isn't for you, start distancing yourself from him.

Nicholl McGuire
 

Teen Asking About Dating Older Guys?!?!♡

8 Dates: My Senior Crush

Still Married While Hoping to Divorce

He sits, dreaming that one day he will be free of a wife younger than him yet old enough to know better.  The woman is intelligent, able to see through his mid-life challenges, while sick and tired of dealing with his disrespect.  He desires something a little less smart, a lot younger, and one who fits into a world he most likely once to re-live--the days of high school crushes, irresponsibility, and fun.

But he's married...

Did I say he is married?

He tells the young woman, who makes his heart sing, "I'm married but..."  This should be the end, but for many age-gap relationships, it is not the end.  He promises divorce, says that he isn't in love with the wife, and paints a wonderful picture of what the future might look like with his young princess.

What do you think the young woman might do?

Fall for it.

Nicholl McGuire

Would a 22 Year Old Date an Older Guy and Why?

So many women in their twenties are targets for older, mature men.  Whether he is married, single, or dating many others, the mature, rich man, with a plan, is going to try real hard to get the attention of that nice-looking twenty-something year old woman.  He will start up a simple conversation by making a comment about something she is wearing.  The wealthy, older guy might offer his assistance if he notices that a young woman needs help with something or he may ask questions, in an attempt to get her to open up to him. 

When walking out in public, the mature gentleman might stare at the young lady from a distance hoping that she will take notice of him.  A question might come to mind, would the 22 plus year old woman bother with the graying man with/without facial hair, fit/unfit, handsome or not?  Most likely she will give him a bit of attention especially if he should make her laugh.  Agreeing to date the older man might not be an issue if she knows that he has something more to offer besides flattering statements and a nice smile.  The 22-year-old is looking over the rich man's shoulder at the car he is driving.  She is viewing his wardrobe and looking at his ring finger.  She is also noticing the jewelry he is wearing.  She might take notice of how he smells and whether or not she can stand to look at his face and body shape for long.  The young woman is also looking at the hue of his skin while checking out scars, age marks, and other imperfections along with tattoos while he brags about his haves while luring her into some conversation about her have-nots.  She is determining whether or not she can tolerate listening and looking at the older man for long periods of time.

What might the affluent older man do for the 22 plus year old woman?  He needs to know the answer to that question before he bothers to ask for a date.  Sooner or later a smart, young lady will ask.  Since many young women, who are focused on education and careers, aspire to do wonderful things that will make them feel accomplished, they aren't that interested in a middle-aged man's relatives, children, exes, etc.  Smiles are deceiving.  She is being polite when she is asking about one's personal life, but if she picks up on anything that sounds like work for her, drama that she has to put up with just to be with an older, rich (or poor) man, distractions that might interfere with her career goals/cost of living, or anything more that might potentially affect her plans, she most likely will forget about that nice, older gentleman.  But other young ladies, depending on the impact the older man might have made on them, will take his number-- just in case they need financial help one day, a temporary sex buddy, or a father figure/mentor for a bit of wisdom. 

Most career-driven young women are not interested in marriage and a baby in a carriage until late in life.  Many more are definitely not interested in baby-sitting/looking after or spending money on another woman's children with the older man.  The ones that might put aside life goals and work to assist their older partners are those that are very unhappy with their current or unresolved past situations.  Maybe they have the following challenges: 

-Don't get along with parents.
-Recently broke up with someone.
-Became homeless.
-Found out they are pregnant.
-Have a mental condition.
-Struggle with past issues regarding a father figure or other males or something else that might have occurred in their personal lives to derail dreams.

A young lady just might tolerate the older guy if he acts like her escape from past woes especially if he is stable and secure in his life.  Desperate, young women seek the older men who are weak to helping beautiful damsels in distress.  Sobs, anger outbursts, frequent sighing, or fake laughs over one's troubles is often given early on in the dating relationship (along with much sex) in the hopes that she can secure the successful, older man until the troubled young woman no longer has need of him.

So when it comes to young women dating older men, it all depends on who you ask and what their life issue might be at the time.  Just know that love doesn't come easy.  A spiritually and mentally immature woman who is still learning and growing isn't much interested in love as much as opportunity.

Nicholl McGuire 

  

Young Women: Guard Your Beauty and Your Youth

As much as we would like to believe that those who seek a companion mean well, there are many in our society that are more concerned about intimate needs being met by an attractive and energetic special someone.  Yet, when you are older, and not as youthful as you once were and not much interested in living life like a youth, why does one bother dating younger?

A young beautiful woman full of life must guard her beauty and her youth from those who are simply dull, boring types who may have once looked fit and attractive and had an interesting life, but not anymore.  If there is one who is wise around the youthful beauty, she should take heed to advice discouraging her not to date someone who is showing signs that he is more interested in stealing her beauty and youth for himself; rather than working to preserve his own.  From keeping the young woman close to him to saying or doing negative things to keep the young woman from experiencing life, some older men have troubled minds void of understanding, empathy or love for another human being.  Controlling, abusive, and downright strange, older men tend to be the ones who prey on content, young women, who might be easily persuaded into having sex in exchange for money and gifts.  

The more these young women give their beauty and energy away to tired, older men who have very little conversation, much less little time for intimacy, the more the twinkle in their eyes diminishes and the laughter, that once charmed their mature men, becomes no more.  Ever wonder why an older man who has a young woman on his arm looks unhappy?  Shouldn't he be grateful to have such a wonderful dame in his presence?  If he is honest with himself, he knows he has no business dating out of his age group especially if she is still discovering things about herself and isn't much knowledgeable about simple day-to-day living.  If the older guy isn't going to do the kind of things to make a young woman stay interested in him, like have a real conversation with her, then he has no business dating or marrying her.  Have you ever noticed the face of a young woman walking with or behind an older man?  Does she look happy and in love like she might be with someone closer to her age?  She may have a few bags in her hand, bought by her older partner, but is she really happy?

Beauty goes away so very quickly, before long the young woman looks at herself in the mirror and asks, "Where has time gone?  Why do I look so worn?"  Meanwhile, next to her in the mirror is an aging man, one who uses the unloved woman as a mere trophy piece to trick society into thinking he is okay with living his life.  Really?

Young women guard your beauty and your youth.  Tired, older men who thought that getting a young woman would complete you, think again!  Joy comes from within.  If you are unhappy with yourself and your life choices, seek your Creator to complete you, not a young woman still full of life!

Nicholl McGuire

Why He Doesn't Keep Any Young Ladies

Some men change women like they do underwear.  No one ever bothers to think, "What's up with this guy? "  They simply go on whatever he tells them about this young woman and that one.  But the truth is, many of these handsome players have problems!  From erection issues to personality disorders, there are some things seen and unseen that are simply wrong with them.  Sometimes there are those young women who just aren't any good to date because they too have issues, but when one sees a mature man frequently dating, never committing, while often blaming, you have to wonder.

I thought of the middle-aged men in my own family who were often paired up with gullible young women.  These pretty dames were indeed a sight for sore eyes and appeared to have their lives together.  They had good jobs, nice residences, reliable transportation, and some money in the bank.  I would think, "What is it about some of my older relatives these young ladies find attractive?"  Once the newness of their relationships wore off, these aging men were exposed for the cheaters and liars that they were.  I say past tense, because many are now deceased.  But I learned, while they lived, that rather than face their personal demons, they ran from them by running into the arms of young women while they re-created a young looking lifestyle. 

The young women were mere distractions in the lives of these miserable, angry men who knew how to act the good guy role in order to get what they wanted.  When things didn't work emotionally or physically in previous relationships, the old was replaced with the new.  These men, who enjoyed acting prideful and boasting about what little they had, believed that an "upgrade...a pretty new face who didn't talk much...a young woman with a job...someone who liked to have sex alot and go places..." is all they needed and they would be okay.  But they were never okay.  Many contracted sexual diseases and many others had grew weary behind closed doors, so I had heard.  Some had mental issues that were never prayed away or dealt with--deep inside they were very unhappy.  

The typical relationship disagreements would show up and my male relatives would show out.  Some young women were left with two black-eyes while others were scarred with bad names on their minds and hearts.  Those that managed to get away before things got too bad, recalled sad times when their past lovers had little, if anything, meaningful to say to them.  My single, older male relatives realized before their deaths that young, attractive women had their own minds nowadays.  They couldn't be easily controlled.  These young ladies weren't afraid to speak up about what bothered them.  This sort of behavior was a deal breaker for some of these troubled, older men in mid-life, who didn't mind spending a few dollars here and there, while expecting money and gifts in return from their young lovers.  These mature men had very little patience and often became easily irritated when the young women in their lives talked too long, shopped too long, and stuck around too long!

As much as many older men would love to look at everyone and everything as being a thorn in their sides, the reality is that these troubled men who spent their lives chasing tail, so to speak, are really angry at themselves for not doing much more with their lives.

Protect the females in your family who seek father figures, show them that all that is older isn't necessarily better.

Nicholl McGuire

The Narcissistic Relationship - Its Not You

11 SIGNS SHE'S A GOLD DIGGER

Tempted to Strike Back? The Abused Older Guy and His Crazy Young Girlfriend

Young, fiesty, and strong, the young woman hit her older partner for the third time this week.  He cursed at her each time, threatened to beat her down if she hit him again, and so she did and then again and again while kicking him with her high-heel shoes.  The thought of going to jail flashed through the man's mind.  "I'm too old for this," he thought.  His girlfriend got away with being physically abusive yet again.  He waited until she calmed down then asked her to leave.  She yelled, cried, and made promises not to do it again.  The older gentleman was fed up!

No matter how beautiful, talented, or how much you invested in the young woman, no man deserves to be abused!  You might feel ashamed, angry, depressed, or even bitter, but keeping this toxic woman around will only get worse.  Some men, who have suffered abuse like black and blue marks on their faces to bites in undisclosed locations, have kept episodes of abuse silent.  Instead, they drink alcohol or use drugs to numb their pain.  Others will find calmer women to date while keeping the "crazy b#tch" around.

If you are in a bad relationship right now or are attempting to recover from one, there are helpful resources as follows:

Battered Men: Men's Personal Stories http://www.batteredmen.com/gjdvstor.htm

Hidden Hurt for Men in the UK http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/male_victims_of_domestic_violence.html

Web MD: Help for Battered Men http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/help-for-battered-men

For more useful websites go here.

Nicholl McGuire also maintains a blog entitled, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, see here.

No Love, Just Sex - She Knows You are Living Out a Fantasy

For some young, single women, busy with careers and their social lives, they really aren't interested in a serious relationship despite what some older men might think.  Although there are those mature men who are all-too-eager to bed, wed, or share their wealth with beautiful young women, some of these ladies just aren't interested no matter what you promise or do for them.

There is no need trying to rack one's brain trying to figure out why some of these women, don't want a steady, older boyfriend.  Educated women know about things like: andropause, adultery, jealousy, former partners, adult sons and daughters, and other challenges that come with dating someone older and they just can't imagine being with an older man long-term. 

Mature men, who consider themselves still young physically and mentally, just can't fathom why they can't seem to connect with certain young women.  Instead of taking rejection personally, accept the fact that some women, whether old or young, just aren't going to want anything more than a brief conversation, possibly sex, and so life goes on. 

Some men have a need to relive a time in their lives where they were sought after and someone genuinely loved them, but things change.  Whatever an older gentleman once had in his previous life with someone else, far too many life disappointments have a way of tarnishing what once was and so for some men, they chase a dream of what could be.  Rather than facing  reality, some older singles create a fantasy in their minds with someone younger while hoping to relive emotions from their youth.  They seek to find someone special and when they do, they plan to tie her down, so to speak. 

Young women can detect when a man is desperate to find and keep a fantasy; therefore, these discerning women might give up sex, but not much else.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and writes articles about a wide variety of subjects including family challenges.     

No Sugar-Coating the Truth: Married and Dating The Father's Daughter

A parent has every right to be concerned when it comes to his twenty-something daughter being approached by a man his own age or older.  Let's face it, with so many music videos, television series, movies, and other media marketing young, fit, attractive looking women, an older man is going to flirt with the idea of dating a younger woman at some point in his life.

These young women that we see holding hands with rich men, old enough to be their fathers, are daughters.  Somehow something went amiss personally for these young women; therefore, that older partner, who spends time with his young lover, is fulfilling a void or many voids that men her own age just can't do for her.  From a workaholic father to an alcoholic one, the daughter who has grown up with these type of male figures, want to experience love and she just might not care who or what it comes from.  Age and looks mean nothing to a young woman desperate to find love.

Unfortunately for the married, older women, who are working hard to keep their mature partners with them, the competition can be fierce and get quite ugly when one has been jilted by a cheating partner for many years.  The young woman just might find herself in a situation where she will need the help from parents, counselors, and others, because she got in over her head when involving herself with a married man.  

These wayward, married spouses or single men in temporary relationships sometimes find themselves conversing with younger women in the hopes that they find them attractive enough to be more than friends.  When in the presence of a beautiful woman, some men forget about the responsibilities that await them at home.  Finding young women, who actually like these older men, is like a dream come true for them.  An older man might recall his youthful days when a certain type of girl or woman was out of his league, but now that he is successful, he might reason that the risk far outweighs everything else.  "If only I could have her..." he tells himself. 

For some of these young, niave women they become nothing more than prey.  They aren't necessarily wife material.  They aren't emotionally mature for a relationship.  They have little money to handle existing responsibilities much less be a partner's helpmate.  All of which a father knows about his daughters.  These immature youthful women lack understanding on what it truly means to be in a committed relationship.  They are also ill-equipped when it comes to looking beyond self and making sacrifices.  However, when it comes to bedroom experiences and being a mature man's companion, they typically don't fall short.  This is what drives a father and any other male the young woman is connected to crazy!  The thought that an old man is sleeping with their young daughter/niece/cousin creeps some mature men out!  In their minds, they can't imagine sleeping with a young woman.  It isn't any wonder why some older men find it difficult even impossible to have any relationship with a select young woman.  No matter what you say or do, you will never be good enough for a father's daughter especially if your intentions are temporal or with hidden motives.

I must admit in my personal life, I have been influenced by well-meaning family members and friends who wanted nothing but the best for me even if it meant selling one's soul, so to speak.  If more family members would motivate these young daughters to make wiser decisions when it comes to dating, not just for financial reasons, but also for deep, moral convictions, maybe there wouldn't be so many young women making themselves available to older, married men.

Nicholl McGuire



  

Sugar Baby Owed Her Sugar Daddy, Killed Her Husband

A Sugar Baby from Arizona met her Sugar Daddy on an online website.  The man had loaned her over $300,000.  When it was time to pay him back, this Sugar Baby decided to create an insurance scheme where she murders her husband, receives money from the policy, and then would pay off her loan to the Sugar Daddy.  Of course, her plan of making up false stories of abuse against the husband as well as another story about her husband being attacked by a stranger, etc. didn't pan out and now she is sentenced to life.  The wife killed her husband with a hammer. (Link no longer active, article appeared on Yahoo news).

Evidently, the Sugar Baby didn't want to have the typical mutually beneficial relationship that most Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby arrangements are made of.  Why enter into a loan agreement when she knew she didn't have the money to begin with?  Why would a Sugar Daddy even go along with such an agreement?  He was aware of the woman's plan to do away with her husband.

If there is any takeaway from this tragic story is don't promise anything that you can't payback or give up.  Maybe the woman reasoned a loan would be better than having to sleep with the Sugar Daddy since she was married.  However, what could have been a simple agreement or no agreement at all ended up costing a man his life.

Nicholl McGuire