The Appeal Of Older Men

While mulling over what to talk about in my last blog, my husband had a suggestion I found irresistible! More joking than serious, he said, “Why don’t you talk about the sex appeal of older men, and call it ‘Who’s Your Daddy’?”

He never thought I would take him seriously. Well, as you can see, I did. By older, I am specifically talking about men past fifty. Yes, I have an eye for young stud puppets, cut and lean sex machines! But many of those to die for men look that way to attract other men. Although nice to ogle, it’s rather like pressing your nose against the candy store window. Drooling over the goodies is as far as you get.

The rugged virility I am talking about in older men I know about first hand. Working in the shipping industry as long as I have, I know sailors. These are not Navy sailors, they are Merchant Mariners. They have spent a good part of their lives on commercial ships, sailing all over the world. Once they came ashore, they continued to work with ships in a variety of roles.

Because of the requirements of my job, I have to travel occasionally. I have been to Singapore, Tokyo, Copenhagen, Barcelona and Norway. In all of these places, I have met sailors. I’ve talked to them, drank with them and been accepted by them. They’ve told me stories that have made me laugh until the tears ran. In fact, I’m writing an anthology called Hello, Sailor which will be released sometime in 2008. It is a collection of three novellas based upon the stories I’ve been told by my sailor friends.

These men are career mariners. They are strong individuals, free wheeling, opinionated, wickedly funny, and sexy. Most of all – God bless them – they LOVE women! You might be surprised to hear that they not only love women, they respect women. Of course they tell dirty jokes! They’re sailors after all. But whenever I have socialized with them, individually or in a group, I am treated with such courtesy it borders on gallantry. Not even my husband (don’t tell him I said this!) is as courteous and mannerly as they are.

They aren’t pretty boys. Far from it. They carry themselves with an aura of masculinity that can only be achieved with years of self sufficiency. Being a sailor is not an easy life. Hard work and hard living show on their faces, rugged character etched in every line. Perhaps they wouldn’t be considered classically handsome. They are nonetheless attractive in their manliness, maturity and individuality.

In our youth oriented culture, it is a refreshing reminder to know that sex appeal doesn’t diminish as the birthday candles increase. Both men and women remain sexual beings for as long as the fire burns inside. I have every intention of keeping my fire stoked for many more years. I think my sailor friends feel the same way.

As a final note, the piece below eloquently summarizes how I feel about my life, and my writing.

In 1981, Lena Horne did a one woman Broadway show called “Lena Horne – The Lady and her Music.” In the show, she referred to herself as a late bloomer. I find I am appreciating her comment more now than I ever have before.

Early in the show, she sang her signature song “Stormy Weather”, much like she sang it in the movie. Late in the show’s second half, she announced her next number by saying ‘’I had to grow into this song.’’

And then what does she do? She sings ‘’Stormy Weather’’ all over again. Only this time she sings it as if she had just grown into it, as if she had never sung it before. The words poured out of her, with a gospel fervor that covered her, and the audience, with sweat and tears.

I am growing into my song as Lena did hers, learning to sing it all over again, in a new way, with a new perspective. Who knew it could be this good!


P. F. Kozak has had a unique perspective on sexuality since she discovered playing doctor, long before puberty. With the publication of her books it is real, and it is only just beginning. Visit pfkozak.com