Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Thursday
When You Discover a Date Has a Girlfriend
The news can be disheartening; a man
you like has a girlfriend. The heart aches; the breathing is heavy,
and the desire to pay this man back for lying to you increases with
each passing moment. But before one plans her next strategy, be
grateful that you know. Now is the time to start thinking about what
you can do to make yourself feel at peace once again.
First, take a moment to undo everything
in your mind you thought you knew about the person you have been
dating. He obviously liked you a lot because he lied about having a
girlfriend. But that doesn’t mean, that he is still an honest,
kind, sweetheart of a man. Instead, you have discovered he is a
liar, not as nice as you originally thought and is selfish. The
likelihood that he is going to treat you like he did his girlfriend
in the future is probable. Once the newness of the relationship
wears off with you, he will be out pretending to be single with
someone else.
Second, confront this man on his lies,
but not in a way that shows him you still care about him. You will
need to cry your eyes out privately, have your grieving moment out of
the way, before you get to the point that you can give him a cold
stare and speak your truth. So what might you say? Express your
feelings and tell him what you want to do i.e.) break up, date
others, move on with your life, etc.
Third, make no apologies and keep
feelings of guilt far away. It isn’t necessary to apologize for
any emotional outburst, cursing, or anything else—you are angry and
you have every right to feel this way. You were deceived by someone
you trusted and you will need to share your disappointment with him
and a supportive friend. But what you don’t want to do is make
yourself so sick about the matter that you end up doing something so
bad that you might go to jail.
Fourth, fight the temptation to stalk
the man and his girlfriend. Although hurt feelings will make you
think about doing some strange things, don’t feed into them. Even
if the girlfriend is aware that you exist, she will have to go
through her own personal trials too. She may or may not break up
with him. Depending on how long they have been together, she just
might stick it out with your date. So if the plan is to tell the
girlfriend everything you know about her man, stop, it just might
draw them closer.
Lastly, don’t be available to him
sexually, physically, or any way that keeps you hanging on to him.
Unfortunately, there are far too many people who enjoy using others
to get their personal needs met. If the man suspects that you are
still weak for him then he will take advantage of whatever you are
willing to give him. So when he and his girlfriend have a fight, he
might come to you for sex like he has always done. If he needs some
money, wants to drive your car or stay at your home, he will boldly
ask because he feels that now that you know he has a girlfriend, you
will be okay with it. In time, you will grow weary of being used and
will find yourself giving him an ultimatum.
Nicholl McGuire provides web content to individuals and businesses. To learn more, visit http://nichollmcguiremedia.blogspot.com
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