Dr. Phil Uncensored: Midlife Crisis or Excuse?

Midlife Crisis (Male Menopause)

No Love, Just Sex - She Knows You are Living Out a Fantasy

For some young, single women, busy with careers and their social lives, they really aren't interested in a serious relationship despite what some older men might think.  Although there are those mature men who are all-too-eager to bed, wed, or share their wealth with beautiful young women, some of these ladies just aren't interested no matter what you promise or do for them.

There is no need trying to rack one's brain trying to figure out why some of these women, don't want a steady, older boyfriend.  Educated women know about things like: andropause, adultery, jealousy, former partners, adult sons and daughters, and other challenges that come with dating someone older and they just can't imagine being with an older man long-term. 

Mature men, who consider themselves still young physically and mentally, just can't fathom why they can't seem to connect with certain young women.  Instead of taking rejection personally, accept the fact that some women, whether old or young, just aren't going to want anything more than a brief conversation, possibly sex, and so life goes on. 

Some men have a need to relive a time in their lives where they were sought after and someone genuinely loved them, but things change.  Whatever an older gentleman once had in his previous life with someone else, far too many life disappointments have a way of tarnishing what once was and so for some men, they chase a dream of what could be.  Rather than facing  reality, some older singles create a fantasy in their minds with someone younger while hoping to relive emotions from their youth.  They seek to find someone special and when they do, they plan to tie her down, so to speak. 

Young women can detect when a man is desperate to find and keep a fantasy; therefore, these discerning women might give up sex, but not much else.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and writes articles about a wide variety of subjects including family challenges.     

When an Older Man Denies He is having a Mid-Life Crisis

She didn’t accuse him of having an affair, because that wasn’t the truth; rather she accused him of having a mid-life crisis. Warning signs of what was ahead, she told him that if he didn’t start doing the following: eating right, exercising, seeing his doctor, following doctor’s orders, and taking his prescribed medicines that the relationship would be over. She hadn’t asked for much, at least so she thought, but he felt that she was being pushy, acting like his mother, and he wasn’t going to listen. In time the relationship went downhill. He stayed out all night at times with his friends. He didn’t bother to call when he would be late coming home from work. He wasn’t interested in having sex with her anymore. He wanted more out of life and so he quit his job and didn’t tell her until he got a new one months later. He took monies they saved over the years from a joint savings account and bought toys for himself and trinkets for his admirers. He hadn’t done the ultimate betrayal, as of yet which was have sex with other women, but he sure was thinking about it. Given all the porn she found in his computer. She had a crisis on her hands and he was in denial.


You may know of someone like this and you may have tried to speak some wisdom to him, but he refuses to listen. Experts say that when a man is having a midlife crisis you are to try to be supportive and don’t belittle him or pressure him to change his ways, rather go along for the ride because at some point he will come to his senses -- easier said than done. The truth is that many men don’t come to their senses until it’s too late. They move forward into a life that was directed by their hormones and then when they look back they see a trail of tears, broken hearts, debt, and other serious errors. As old as they are, they refuse to take full responsibility for the mess that they caused.

We make jokes about the man who has his shirt unbutton; wearing a toupee, driving a sports car with a young woman by his side, but it’s no laughing matter. His cloudy brain has made him indecisive, irrational, illogical, and at times downright strange. What can we do when he says that he isn’t having a mid-life crisis? We don’t deny the truth; instead, we just call his attention to the foolish decisions he makes and pray that he sees the light. We provide him with choices and make him think that he came up with our ideas. For instance, if we want to go somewhere or eat something different, we recall a time when he may have said something similar and then attribute the idea to him. “I only cooked this because you said….” Now this man in a midlife crisis has an attitude that changes from one day to the next. What he use to eat it he doesn’t eat anymore. What he use to wear he doesn’t like anymore. The places he use to frequent are not as exciting as they once were. He often forgets what you have told him and thinks that you are the one losing it when in all actuality he is losing it. But you don’t argue and you don’t challenge him. Instead, you keep the peace by being selective on what is worth fighting about and what isn’t. Everything is not up for debate unless you want to run him out of your home.

You always want to take the time to listen to his complaints and concerns and try to make the atmosphere livable. No, you can’t prevent him from cheating, lying stealing or doing anything else that makes you and the family look bad, but what you can do is have a faith. Look to something greater than yourself to see him through. Believe that God is watching and that he will help him through his crisis.

By Nicholl McGuire

Midlife Crisis, Depressed and Anxious, Do Something About It

Often portrayed in only humorous terms in popular culture, male midlife crisis has very real physical causes. Beginning around age 30, testosterone gradually decreases, and can lead to depression, decreased sex drive or erectile dysfunction. In addition, a corresponding increase in SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) impairs the body's ability to use testosterone.

As well, as men enter midlife, they sleep more lightly, spending less time in a state of deep sleep. This can lead to weight gain, fatigue and irritability because the body is unable to make enough of the hormones required for energy and optimal functioning.

Doing Something About Male Midlife Crisis

There are several steps you can take to improve your overall feeling of well-being and reduce the likelihood of related worries such as sexual dysfunction.

Managing stress will help you sleep easier, as well as reduce symptoms like irritability and fatigue. A daily B-complex vitamin can reduce stress, and minerals like selenium and chromium can boost energy.

Getting plenty of exercise not only has the obvious physical benefits, but it also encourages the quality deep sleep that is important for men undergoing the physical changes of midlife. You should also avoid stimulants like coffee several hours before bed.

Testosterone replacement therapy may also be an appropriate solution that helps mitigate the effects of male midlife.

How Is Testosterone Involved with Male Midlife Crisis?

A consistent finding in the scientific literature is that testosterone increase even by replacement therapy produces an increased feeling of well-being. Published studies show that low levels of free testosterone correlates with symptoms of depression and other psychological disorders.

According to Jonathan Wright, M.D., co-author of Maximize Your Vitality & Potency, the following effects have been reported in response to low free testosterone levels:

• Loss of ability to concentrate
• Moodiness and emotionality
• Touchiness and irritability
• Great timidity
• Feeling weak
• Inner unrest
• Memory failure
• Reduced intellectual agility
• Passive attitudes
• General tiredness
• Reduced interest in surroundings

Two major issues of a man in midlife crisis - depression and anxiety - are directly related to his current levels of bio-available free testosterone. Proper testosterone replacement therapy can deal effectively with much at the heart of midlife male depression by boosting the levels of bio-available testosterone in the body.

Is Testosterone Replacement Therapy Right for Me?

The first step toward testosterone replacement therapy is a physical exam and a series of blood tests, including a PSA (protein-specific antigen) test, are ordered to measure testosterone levels. If testosterone levels are low, your physician can discuss the various treatment options. Many insurance companies cover the costs of andropause treatment, and male menopause treatment can often be purchased with a tax advantaged, flexible savings account.

Male hormone replacement therapy and testosterone replacement are effective, low testosterone treatment options for men with andropause. If you have any symptoms associated with andropause, such as low energy, irritability, hot flashes, abdominal weight gain, loss of muscle strength, loss of sex drive and the inability to maintain an erection, talk to your doctor. The sooner you speak with a physician and get checked for low testosterone levels, the sooner you can begin feeling like yourself again.

What to look for in a Male Hormone Replacement Therapy Provider:

1. Look for a male hormone replacement therapy program that is tailored to your specific and individualized needs.
2. Ensure your hormone program is under the supervision of a physician that is trained in hormone deficiencies in men.
3. Monitoring of your hormone levels. The original test for andropause should only be the first in a series of tests. You will want to have your blood tested periodically to ensure the current program is optimized for your individual needs.
4. Experience. Be sure the entity with whom you work has a solid track record. If they are trying to sell you hormones -- be careful. If they are telling you what they do and how it relates to you needs in an informational frame work -- be hopeful and encouraged.

Jim Michels is an expert on how to treat low testosterone and andropause symptoms. His company renewman.com focuses on male menopause and andropause and specializes in treating male menopause symptoms through male hormone replacement therapy, testosterone replacement and low testosterone treatment

They Have Their Days Too...Andropause & PMS...Uh oh!

While you are having your bouts with PMS, he is having his issues with andropause. In case you didn't know, that is the proper name for mid-life crisis. Now some so-called experts won't take the male mid-life business seriously, rather they will attribute men's issues to outside influences like work, family, and money. But if you have dated older men for any length of time, then you know there is more going on within than on the outside.

The older man will have various mood swings due to a number of factors such as low testosterone, bad eating habits, and a lack of exercise. Some get older and aren't always mindful of their body odors. Whatever the older man's problem, the reality is he can get on your nerves! His impatience, anger outbursts, silent treatment, and myopic behaviors can send you packing! Understanding tends to go out the younger woman's head when she too is going through her set of woes.

We all know what to do with his and her bath towels, but many of us don't have a clue what to do with his and her mood swings. Here are a few tips I have had to learn the hard way over the years.

1. Do something else besides have sex. If you are in a relationship with an older man that seems to be moving fast, so fast that you can't seem to come up for air between love-making sessions, put some distance between the both of you by doing something else that has absolutely nothing to do with him. I'm sure he can understand why you wouldn't want intimacy while going through PMS and your cycle. If not, then you will want to question what kind of man you got yourself hooked up with. (When I dated an older man who was abusive, he found it difficult giving me my space during my time of the month. That was a good sign he was not a compassionate person, but I was too awe struck on looks and stability to see the signs.)

2. You don't have to commit because he told you that he loves you. From the ex-wife to the children from a previous relationship, I'm sure you are the next best thing since sliced bread and because of that you can afford to take your time.

When committing to any man with a past that is walking and breathing, it can be difficult to accept everything that goes with it. If you sincerely feel that accepting him along with his baggage is too much, do converse with him about your feelings before you decide to break off the relationship and not during PMS.

3. When he is in one of his moods ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?" but don't ask when you are in a bad mood yourself, because it will most likely come out like this, "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you talking to me...Are you having one of your senior moments?" Although asking him what's on his mind doesn't always work, at least take the time out to let him know you care. He may not be ready to talk, but at some point he just might open up. When he does decide to share his thoughts, try hard to make him feel comfortable expressing them without becoming emotional. I know it can be difficult especially if he is being critical of you, but try anyway even if it means you just sit there and look at him.

Well, I hope the two of you have a good month...wish me well too!


Nicholl McGuire
http://associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire