Showing posts with label advice for older men dating younger women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice for older men dating younger women. Show all posts
Wednesday
Friday
No Acting Older Than You Are, Young Women are Watching
Older men, who feel the innate need to feel young again, have this personal issue that a young woman could care less about. As far as she is concerned she just wants to know that you are mentally, physically and financially stable. The last thing she wants to hear about is how forgetful you are getting, how you have an ache here or there, how broke you are, what you don't know, and how you can't get there from here. These are not the kind of things you want to share with a new date!
Older men that often complain about all sorts of things like bills, exes, adult sons and daughters, and long lines at the store are such a bore! Why bother dating young women? Some older men should simply stick to their own age group. These same grumbling men will drop hints about their lack (whether true or not) as well as have other ups and downs that exes already know about and young women will soon discover. The troubled older man would do better talking to their own age group about personal challenges or better yet, seeing a doctor.
Think about this, would any man want to hear a woman nag, cry or moan often about her woman problems? So why would an older man assume a young woman would want to hear about his mid-life woes? Now there are some women who have a heart for male mid-life issues, but others not so much especially those who have been on the fence about dating older men. You can easily turn young women off if you act older than what you are.
There is a fight to stay young if an older man should want to brave dating women with a significant age gap. A man has to have some degree of youth to keep the young woman liking, loving and respecting him. He doesn't have to act like a 20 plus year old, but he should exude the kind of confidence that says, "I enjoy life, having fun, and appreciate my companion."
Older men, who can't keep young women around, are the type who tend not to be happy with themselves much less anyone else. These men have no real desire to stay fit, live unsatisfactory lifestyles, and can't see beyond their personal challenges. It isn't any wonder why some will change partners like they do their undergarments--young women grow weary of grumblers.
It is safe to say that a young woman who sincerely wants a good relationship will stick it out with a man who doesn't make her feel miserable by frequently complaining and acting older than who he is. The last thing a young woman wants is to feel like her youth is quickly passing by because she is with an unhappy older man.
Nicholl McGuire
Older men that often complain about all sorts of things like bills, exes, adult sons and daughters, and long lines at the store are such a bore! Why bother dating young women? Some older men should simply stick to their own age group. These same grumbling men will drop hints about their lack (whether true or not) as well as have other ups and downs that exes already know about and young women will soon discover. The troubled older man would do better talking to their own age group about personal challenges or better yet, seeing a doctor.
Think about this, would any man want to hear a woman nag, cry or moan often about her woman problems? So why would an older man assume a young woman would want to hear about his mid-life woes? Now there are some women who have a heart for male mid-life issues, but others not so much especially those who have been on the fence about dating older men. You can easily turn young women off if you act older than what you are.
There is a fight to stay young if an older man should want to brave dating women with a significant age gap. A man has to have some degree of youth to keep the young woman liking, loving and respecting him. He doesn't have to act like a 20 plus year old, but he should exude the kind of confidence that says, "I enjoy life, having fun, and appreciate my companion."
Older men, who can't keep young women around, are the type who tend not to be happy with themselves much less anyone else. These men have no real desire to stay fit, live unsatisfactory lifestyles, and can't see beyond their personal challenges. It isn't any wonder why some will change partners like they do their undergarments--young women grow weary of grumblers.
It is safe to say that a young woman who sincerely wants a good relationship will stick it out with a man who doesn't make her feel miserable by frequently complaining and acting older than who he is. The last thing a young woman wants is to feel like her youth is quickly passing by because she is with an unhappy older man.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
Friday
What on Earth Do You Want? A Young, Sweet Woman or a Nasty One?
It seems that mean, nasty and rude girls are taking over reality television. The louder and wilder they are, the more people tune in. On top of all the arrogant behavior is also sexy dressed women who draw equally prideful, nasty men to their beds. You get what you attract.
A mature man who desires a young, sweet woman on the street, yet a freak in the bedroom, may not get that. He may also be out of luck finding a woman who doesn't know when to turn the freak off. A young woman may look beautiful and appear intelligent, but her selection in clothing, places to live and interests might say otherwise. Nasty women typically like nasty boys. Sweet women desire sweet men. Yet, with so much brainwashing going on in society, couples are all mixed up and it isn't any wonder why some relationships just don't make it. Sweet can't stand nasty anymore. Nasty finds sweet boring...you get the picture.
A mature man must know what he wants. He can't have it all although he think he can. What exactly is "all" anyway? Since no single woman can provide it all. He will look to find many women to suit different needs like the young woman does who has yet to commit to any one man. The desire to have it all is different depending on who you talk to. Some men want beauty, charm, honesty, respect, and more in their women. Others just want beauty and sex. Then there are still others who want as much as they can get including a potential steady girlfriend or wife. But most men who are looking to relax, tired of the dating scene, prefer the sweet woman over the nasty one with an attitude any day.
Nicholl McGuire
A mature man who desires a young, sweet woman on the street, yet a freak in the bedroom, may not get that. He may also be out of luck finding a woman who doesn't know when to turn the freak off. A young woman may look beautiful and appear intelligent, but her selection in clothing, places to live and interests might say otherwise. Nasty women typically like nasty boys. Sweet women desire sweet men. Yet, with so much brainwashing going on in society, couples are all mixed up and it isn't any wonder why some relationships just don't make it. Sweet can't stand nasty anymore. Nasty finds sweet boring...you get the picture.
A mature man must know what he wants. He can't have it all although he think he can. What exactly is "all" anyway? Since no single woman can provide it all. He will look to find many women to suit different needs like the young woman does who has yet to commit to any one man. The desire to have it all is different depending on who you talk to. Some men want beauty, charm, honesty, respect, and more in their women. Others just want beauty and sex. Then there are still others who want as much as they can get including a potential steady girlfriend or wife. But most men who are looking to relax, tired of the dating scene, prefer the sweet woman over the nasty one with an attitude any day.
Nicholl McGuire
Saturday
Uncontrolled PMS & Menopause Issues: A Recipe for Disaster
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Uncontrolled PMS & Menopause Issues: A Recipe for ...: Could it Be That These Health Issues Contributed to Women Being Abusive Toward Men? "What did he do to cause her to hit him? He prob...
Thursday
Older Guy: 6 Things You Can Do to Keep a Young Woman Interested in You
The mature man will not always hold the top spot in his young date's life when he slacks in how he treats her, becomes lazy about keeping up his body, and overall doesn't care about her. There will always be a man or two willing to do what he no longer wants to do. Thanks to the Internet, it is far too easy to emotionally connect with someone in the hopes of meeting him or her offline one day.
Couples have their work cut out for them if they hope to stay together. A May-December romance will quickly fizzle out if neither person is willing to do the kind of things that will draw one another close. So what might an older man do to keep his young beauty on his arm besides buy her things, give her money, and make promises?
1. Do what you did during the courtship.
You worked to get her, so work to keep her. What did you do early on in the relationship that made her smile? What could you do to make her think of how special you are? How do you remain relevant in her life like a fame-starved celebrity would want to be to his or her fans?
2. Improve your attire and be sure to smell good.
Most young women do much to make themselves look appealing, so it would make sense that she would want to look at a nice-looking man while smelling a nice odor coming from him. Yet, there are men who don't care much about smelly breath, under-arms, private areas, or feet and then wonder why she doesn't want to kiss or have sex. Go figure!?
3. Exercise.
So many older men feel insecure around younger men simply because they don't bother to work-out and do things that will improve their bodies. Instead of feeling like your young woman is going to run off with the next man she sees, do something that will make her feel good about having sex with you.
4. Do things she likes sometimes.
Will it really hurt to give up a personal day, leave a job early, or take a holiday and enjoy time with your woman? She has told you about an upcoming event, so clear your schedule and go with her. Your efforts will be remembered and you just might have a woman who will appreciate you because you show how much you care about her and the people and activities that come with her.
5. Listen rather than advise so much.
Sometimes mature men tend to give far too much advice and not enough of a listening ear or vice versa. Find the balance when you are in your lady's presence and be open to what she has to say about everything from her job to how she feels about you.
6. Change routine and offer to include her
.
Never assume that she doesn't want to tag along when you go somewhere especially if you both haven't been spending much time together lately. There is nothing wrong with doing some things different. Rather than spend each weekend in front of the television screen, why not drive to a local town and window-shop, take a walk in the park, visit an attraction, take a class, or visit a cool family member or friend you both like.
The more you give, hopefully the more you will get in return. If you are an older guy who sincerely would like to make things work in your relationship, then sit back, evaluate what you are doing and not doing, and take the time to make changes. Check in with your lady friend to see how you are doing and share your personal feelings and thoughts on what she can do to help you be the best guy for her.
Nicholl McGuire also shares relationship advice here.
Couples have their work cut out for them if they hope to stay together. A May-December romance will quickly fizzle out if neither person is willing to do the kind of things that will draw one another close. So what might an older man do to keep his young beauty on his arm besides buy her things, give her money, and make promises?
1. Do what you did during the courtship.
You worked to get her, so work to keep her. What did you do early on in the relationship that made her smile? What could you do to make her think of how special you are? How do you remain relevant in her life like a fame-starved celebrity would want to be to his or her fans?
2. Improve your attire and be sure to smell good.
Most young women do much to make themselves look appealing, so it would make sense that she would want to look at a nice-looking man while smelling a nice odor coming from him. Yet, there are men who don't care much about smelly breath, under-arms, private areas, or feet and then wonder why she doesn't want to kiss or have sex. Go figure!?
3. Exercise.
So many older men feel insecure around younger men simply because they don't bother to work-out and do things that will improve their bodies. Instead of feeling like your young woman is going to run off with the next man she sees, do something that will make her feel good about having sex with you.
4. Do things she likes sometimes.
Will it really hurt to give up a personal day, leave a job early, or take a holiday and enjoy time with your woman? She has told you about an upcoming event, so clear your schedule and go with her. Your efforts will be remembered and you just might have a woman who will appreciate you because you show how much you care about her and the people and activities that come with her.
5. Listen rather than advise so much.
Sometimes mature men tend to give far too much advice and not enough of a listening ear or vice versa. Find the balance when you are in your lady's presence and be open to what she has to say about everything from her job to how she feels about you.
6. Change routine and offer to include her
.
Never assume that she doesn't want to tag along when you go somewhere especially if you both haven't been spending much time together lately. There is nothing wrong with doing some things different. Rather than spend each weekend in front of the television screen, why not drive to a local town and window-shop, take a walk in the park, visit an attraction, take a class, or visit a cool family member or friend you both like.
The more you give, hopefully the more you will get in return. If you are an older guy who sincerely would like to make things work in your relationship, then sit back, evaluate what you are doing and not doing, and take the time to make changes. Check in with your lady friend to see how you are doing and share your personal feelings and thoughts on what she can do to help you be the best guy for her.
Nicholl McGuire also shares relationship advice here.
Wednesday
Things Younger Women Want from Older Dates and It’s Not Just Financial Security
There are many things that any single woman interested in dating a mature gentleman wants when beginning their courtship. But for young women, who don’t have much dating experience, they are looking for some things from their older gentlemen in addition to money and gifts.
A friendship.
It brings great pleasure to a young woman when she can clearly see that an older gentleman is fond of her. Many of her friends are not with young men who care much about their likes, dislikes, present, or future. So when the older man finds her not only “attractive, intelligent, destined to be a success,” or whatever other nice words he uses to describe her, he boosts her self-esteem and quite naturally she wants more of his company.
A good lover.
Sexually active young women desire mind-blowing sex. Chances are she didn’t have that kind of experience when she dated men her age and younger. So when she has made a connection with not only a man who is a good communicator, but a great lover too, she becomes very excited about what more he has to offer.
Someone who isn’t like the males who negatively impacted them.
When young women seek out older men, they are looking for something different. They want to be with the men who have the kind of attributes that aren’t like younger men. Some younger women already had the controlling, jealous type of boyfriend. So when the older gentleman comes along, she wants him to be the opposite of the last guy. Is he mentally stable, secure, mature, and not possessive?
Responsible partner.
From how he takes care of his car to the way he deals with others, is he the type of person that people respect and does he keep promises, and cares for others? A smart, young woman wants a man who is going to not only be responsible because he is receiving a paycheck from someone, but know how to manage his personal life as well. She recognizes the fact that she just might be a part of his world one day, so she best act just as responsible if not more.
A trustworthy mate.
Can she trust her date around her mother and other women she knows? Some men just can’t be trusted and so she will be watching to see if he won’t disrespect her, steal, or lie as well as other things. She might even question him on whether or not he has a faith or some kind of moral principles he follows.
They want attention.
Whether she has daddy issues or not, she hopes that her date will shower her with affection and listen to her when she is up and when she is down. So she will do and say things to get a response out of her date. She is curious about how he reacts to her.
They want their men healthy.
Young women are concerned about their mature dates’ health especially when they find themselves falling in love with them. They want their mates to live long.
When a man has the ability to financially take care of his self, household and anyone who he chooses to make his partner, it is a wonderful thing, because that is just one less thing that his future mate has to be concerned about especially if things aren’t going so well for her at this time. However, most young women have a drive to succeed and participate in the kinds of activities where they can still be who they are without losing their identity in a relationship. A gentleman who inspires his young partner to be the best she can be in all that she does will look beyond his wallet. She just might really view him as someone who she might be able to spend the rest of her life with.
Nicholl McGuire blogger at It's All in the Family, see blog here.
A friendship.
It brings great pleasure to a young woman when she can clearly see that an older gentleman is fond of her. Many of her friends are not with young men who care much about their likes, dislikes, present, or future. So when the older man finds her not only “attractive, intelligent, destined to be a success,” or whatever other nice words he uses to describe her, he boosts her self-esteem and quite naturally she wants more of his company.
A good lover.
Sexually active young women desire mind-blowing sex. Chances are she didn’t have that kind of experience when she dated men her age and younger. So when she has made a connection with not only a man who is a good communicator, but a great lover too, she becomes very excited about what more he has to offer.
Someone who isn’t like the males who negatively impacted them.
When young women seek out older men, they are looking for something different. They want to be with the men who have the kind of attributes that aren’t like younger men. Some younger women already had the controlling, jealous type of boyfriend. So when the older gentleman comes along, she wants him to be the opposite of the last guy. Is he mentally stable, secure, mature, and not possessive?
Responsible partner.
From how he takes care of his car to the way he deals with others, is he the type of person that people respect and does he keep promises, and cares for others? A smart, young woman wants a man who is going to not only be responsible because he is receiving a paycheck from someone, but know how to manage his personal life as well. She recognizes the fact that she just might be a part of his world one day, so she best act just as responsible if not more.
A trustworthy mate.
Can she trust her date around her mother and other women she knows? Some men just can’t be trusted and so she will be watching to see if he won’t disrespect her, steal, or lie as well as other things. She might even question him on whether or not he has a faith or some kind of moral principles he follows.
They want attention.
Whether she has daddy issues or not, she hopes that her date will shower her with affection and listen to her when she is up and when she is down. So she will do and say things to get a response out of her date. She is curious about how he reacts to her.
They want their men healthy.
Young women are concerned about their mature dates’ health especially when they find themselves falling in love with them. They want their mates to live long.
When a man has the ability to financially take care of his self, household and anyone who he chooses to make his partner, it is a wonderful thing, because that is just one less thing that his future mate has to be concerned about especially if things aren’t going so well for her at this time. However, most young women have a drive to succeed and participate in the kinds of activities where they can still be who they are without losing their identity in a relationship. A gentleman who inspires his young partner to be the best she can be in all that she does will look beyond his wallet. She just might really view him as someone who she might be able to spend the rest of her life with.
Nicholl McGuire blogger at It's All in the Family, see blog here.
Thursday
Why Some Young Classy Women Won't Date Older Men Again
For some young women, they have already experienced dating older men and prefer not to do it again for a number of reasons. Some of which are obvious and others not so much.
An older man who is pushy about getting a young, classy woman to date him isn't always going to win in the end, if anything, he just might prove a negative viewpoint or two that a bitter young woman has about him. So when an older man sees the writing on the wall, "She's not interested," keep it moving!
1. She no longer finds dating older men interesting.
Maybe it was at one time fun for her, but as she grows older she realizes that dating a man simply for curiousity sake and what he can do for her is simply not right or good enough. She desires more for herself.
2. She is not attracted to the way men double, even triple her age, looks.
At one point, she could look past the gray hairs, age marks, and wrinkles, but now she prefers to look at someone with less flaws.
3. She is doing quite well in life without an older man.
When she was struggling, she didn't mind having an older man or two around, but now that she is doing well, she is fine without them.
4. She finally started listening to family and friends about not dating mature men.
Her loved ones told her that she shouldn't be dating older men and what if she wants a family one day. They convinced her that she was "classy, better, smarter, more active than her old boyfriends, have years of growth and opportunity while they will settle down and one day die..."and whatever else they said to her to cause her to lose interest in older men.
5. She has been burned far too many times to keep taking chances dating older men.
From young guys to old ones, she has just grown weary of drama and would prefer to stop dating awhile. But when she returns to the scene, she rather take her chances with someone her own age with less issues.
6. She feels like they want to dominate her--keep her in the house.
After having been watched and guarded like an animal, a young woman wants to be free of some older men's strict ways and control. Despite not all mature men being this way, she doesn't want to risk her freedom being with the insecure, jealous type yet again.
7. She finds most mature men boring, not on her level spiritually, physically and or mentally.
A man with a lot of unresolved issues will negatively impact a young woman who is positive and happy about life. Some young women just lose interest in men (young or old) that retard their growth in becoming a strong, independent woman that they want to be.
Mature men, when you specifically know why a younger woman might not be interested in you any longer, you use what you know, and work hard to be more attractive to other young women who just might be willing to date you. Don't pursue young women who have made it plain, "I don't like you." Even if you are a success at winning her to you, it doesn't mean that she will remain with you for all the right reasons. You just might be a temporary fix for her until someone better comes along.
Step back from your conquests for a time and ask yourself the following: Do you find that you are overbearing, suffocating, or seek to dominate young women? What have they said about you in anger? Have you taken care of your past business with other partners or are you still somehow connected to them? Are you the type who likes to play mind games with young women rather than take them seriously? Is there something about the way you look, talk, or dress that turns women off?
Until an older man can honestly look at his flaws, he will not find a young partner suitable for him that would be willing to stay in his life while being that sweetheart he so desires.
Take care of your issues--whatever they might be before thinking about dating a classy young lady.
Nicholl McGuire
An older man who is pushy about getting a young, classy woman to date him isn't always going to win in the end, if anything, he just might prove a negative viewpoint or two that a bitter young woman has about him. So when an older man sees the writing on the wall, "She's not interested," keep it moving!
1. She no longer finds dating older men interesting.
Maybe it was at one time fun for her, but as she grows older she realizes that dating a man simply for curiousity sake and what he can do for her is simply not right or good enough. She desires more for herself.
2. She is not attracted to the way men double, even triple her age, looks.
At one point, she could look past the gray hairs, age marks, and wrinkles, but now she prefers to look at someone with less flaws.
3. She is doing quite well in life without an older man.
When she was struggling, she didn't mind having an older man or two around, but now that she is doing well, she is fine without them.
4. She finally started listening to family and friends about not dating mature men.
Her loved ones told her that she shouldn't be dating older men and what if she wants a family one day. They convinced her that she was "classy, better, smarter, more active than her old boyfriends, have years of growth and opportunity while they will settle down and one day die..."and whatever else they said to her to cause her to lose interest in older men.
5. She has been burned far too many times to keep taking chances dating older men.
From young guys to old ones, she has just grown weary of drama and would prefer to stop dating awhile. But when she returns to the scene, she rather take her chances with someone her own age with less issues.
6. She feels like they want to dominate her--keep her in the house.
After having been watched and guarded like an animal, a young woman wants to be free of some older men's strict ways and control. Despite not all mature men being this way, she doesn't want to risk her freedom being with the insecure, jealous type yet again.
7. She finds most mature men boring, not on her level spiritually, physically and or mentally.
A man with a lot of unresolved issues will negatively impact a young woman who is positive and happy about life. Some young women just lose interest in men (young or old) that retard their growth in becoming a strong, independent woman that they want to be.
Mature men, when you specifically know why a younger woman might not be interested in you any longer, you use what you know, and work hard to be more attractive to other young women who just might be willing to date you. Don't pursue young women who have made it plain, "I don't like you." Even if you are a success at winning her to you, it doesn't mean that she will remain with you for all the right reasons. You just might be a temporary fix for her until someone better comes along.
Step back from your conquests for a time and ask yourself the following: Do you find that you are overbearing, suffocating, or seek to dominate young women? What have they said about you in anger? Have you taken care of your past business with other partners or are you still somehow connected to them? Are you the type who likes to play mind games with young women rather than take them seriously? Is there something about the way you look, talk, or dress that turns women off?
Until an older man can honestly look at his flaws, he will not find a young partner suitable for him that would be willing to stay in his life while being that sweetheart he so desires.
Take care of your issues--whatever they might be before thinking about dating a classy young lady.
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday
Physical Abuse is Not the Norm
In the following video, you will see a teacher demonstrate a scene of physical abuse with a young actress. What is disturbing about this video is how something simple in an argument is escalated to the point that the two are arguing. Although the two are acting, there is something to be said when dating someone younger, one must have patience, be understanding that other males will be in one's life, and have much self-control.
May-December relationships are not immune to physical violence. When you find that you are becoming easily irritated over things that most wouldn't typically overreact to, there is a problem--remove yourself from the argument before you feel moved to strike your partner.
Watch the skit. Please note: the title of the video is misleading, they are acting.
May-December relationships are not immune to physical violence. When you find that you are becoming easily irritated over things that most wouldn't typically overreact to, there is a problem--remove yourself from the argument before you feel moved to strike your partner.
Watch the skit. Please note: the title of the video is misleading, they are acting.
Sunday
Talkative Younger Woman for You or Against You?
She is a sweetheart, young, vibrant, and enjoys keeping you company, but there is just one problem, she talks too much. From what she ate for breakfast to how often she visits her relatives, she always has a story that makes you feel like you are going to need to take a nap before you can concentrate on all that she has to say. The best thing you can do with your talkative girlfriend is...
1. Prepare her in advance for that future interruption you plan on using to get away and on with your day. Tell her before she starts talking, "I have XYZ time before ABC needs to be done, so tell me the story but if it goes too long, we will have to discuss part two next time."
2. Listen with eyes and ears. The more you look away, allow others to interrupt her talk with you, or tend to tasks without looking the least bit interested in what she has to say, she will keep talking and talking while making her story more interesting until she can get a rise out of you. Be attentive and only respond unless absolutely necessary, otherwise your young mate's conversation will get even more lengthy.
3. Remind her periodically during the conversation that you are listening by acknowledging her story-telling. "Yes, I hear what you are saying...really? What? And she did what?" Also, ask her if she would mind telling you the rest of the story after she explains a bit without cutting her off especially if you have reacted to what she has to say.
4. Avoid the temptation to cut her off when you haven't heard the whole story. A premature tip/advice/suggestion/criticism without knowing all the facts will possibly cause a debate which will only move her to talk more--most likely loudly and emotionally.
5. Never assume your lady friend is done talking just because she says, "Hold on for a minute I need to..."
6. Keep away from unnecessary jokes, name-calling, and other statements that don't add anything interesting to the conversation. The more you say something that has little to do with the subject matter, the more your young partner will feel like she has to explain herself. You do want her to stop talking, right?
Sometimes couples will assume that certain subject matter from previous conversations will result in an argument since the last time "she said this..." and "he said that" and on and on. However, give your young woman the benefit of the doubt simply by listening and not saying too much. Leave personal opinion out unless you feel as if she is attacking, misleading, manipulating, lying, or getting you to do something you don't want to do.
Remember, most couples end up with bad partnerships, because they simply are inattentive and lack understanding--listen before you speak, put yourself in your partner's shoes--would you want an intimate partner who is for or against you just because you talk long?
In closing, try hard not to complain about how often or long your date talks--consider it a nice that she finds you interesting enough to talk to. Find some good in conversing with your partner irregardless of how much time has passed. Part of bonding with someone is permitting her to be herself with little criticism about what she says, how she says it and how long she talks about whatever she says.
(For Christians reading this, ask God for some patience, understanding, and more love in your heart for your mate!)
Nicholl McGuire
1. Prepare her in advance for that future interruption you plan on using to get away and on with your day. Tell her before she starts talking, "I have XYZ time before ABC needs to be done, so tell me the story but if it goes too long, we will have to discuss part two next time."
2. Listen with eyes and ears. The more you look away, allow others to interrupt her talk with you, or tend to tasks without looking the least bit interested in what she has to say, she will keep talking and talking while making her story more interesting until she can get a rise out of you. Be attentive and only respond unless absolutely necessary, otherwise your young mate's conversation will get even more lengthy.
3. Remind her periodically during the conversation that you are listening by acknowledging her story-telling. "Yes, I hear what you are saying...really? What? And she did what?" Also, ask her if she would mind telling you the rest of the story after she explains a bit without cutting her off especially if you have reacted to what she has to say.
4. Avoid the temptation to cut her off when you haven't heard the whole story. A premature tip/advice/suggestion/criticism without knowing all the facts will possibly cause a debate which will only move her to talk more--most likely loudly and emotionally.
5. Never assume your lady friend is done talking just because she says, "Hold on for a minute I need to..."
6. Keep away from unnecessary jokes, name-calling, and other statements that don't add anything interesting to the conversation. The more you say something that has little to do with the subject matter, the more your young partner will feel like she has to explain herself. You do want her to stop talking, right?
Sometimes couples will assume that certain subject matter from previous conversations will result in an argument since the last time "she said this..." and "he said that" and on and on. However, give your young woman the benefit of the doubt simply by listening and not saying too much. Leave personal opinion out unless you feel as if she is attacking, misleading, manipulating, lying, or getting you to do something you don't want to do.
Remember, most couples end up with bad partnerships, because they simply are inattentive and lack understanding--listen before you speak, put yourself in your partner's shoes--would you want an intimate partner who is for or against you just because you talk long?
In closing, try hard not to complain about how often or long your date talks--consider it a nice that she finds you interesting enough to talk to. Find some good in conversing with your partner irregardless of how much time has passed. Part of bonding with someone is permitting her to be herself with little criticism about what she says, how she says it and how long she talks about whatever she says.
(For Christians reading this, ask God for some patience, understanding, and more love in your heart for your mate!)
Nicholl McGuire
Tuesday
5 Things About Older Men No Woman Likes
So you got her, but can you keep her? The younger, intelligent woman is not going to spend the best years of her life committed to a mature man who just can't seem to understand why some things he does or doesn't do are deal breakers. If you love her, you will do what is right--without the excuse-making, blame game, reverse psychology tactics, and emotional or physical abuse. No sane woman is going to tolerate the following forever and always! Sooner or later she is going to take a stand, so rather than listen to her rant, pay attention and make needed changes.
1. Men who don't keep themselves up ie.) take daily showers, cut hair, etc.
Would you want to smell a nasty body odor from your partner or look at her disheveled hair often? Of course not. You would say something to her wouldn't you. So what makes you think she wants to keep tolerating some things about you that you have obviously let go?
2. Men who are users and abusers.
How long will you ask her to give you something, make this, or do that before she becomes visibly upset? Do as much as you can on your own, without her assistance, and maybe you won't look like you are using and abusing her. As one woman once shared with me about doing for men, "Iron wears out." A woman will grow weary of being nice to you when you don't bother to appreciate her and do what she likes sometimes without resistance. Men have said similar things--it takes two to tango, my friend. Would you like to be used and abused by her?
3. Men who lie or exaggerate about things like: who they know, where they have been, and what happened while there.
If you can't help her, don't hurt her with lies and exaggerations. Some women are vengeful--they hold alot in before they unleash their wrath--what you thought you got away with five days ago or even five years ago just might come back to haunt you, so tell the truth!
4. Men who say one thing and do another. ie.) He says he likes to go places, but in reality he is a couch potato.
When you have dated much, there are some things that you should know by now when it comes to women, like not telling your date you love her when you really don't know what you feel or making yourself out to be someone that you really aren't, like a rich big shot--yeah right. Meanwhile, the reality is you are in over your head in debt and you hope your date offers to pay sometime. Be open!
5. Men who have little room in their lives for a committed relationship.
As much as you would like to date that special someone, the truth is you barely have enough time to clip your toenails. Seriously, re-think dating a young woman when you know you have little time and patience. She will desire your attention and affection and if you can't give it to her, there will be someone else (most likely younger than you) that will fulfill that void one day. Think before you take the leap!
These five tips are just a start on the right track when it comes to dating and keeping a young woman, I'm sure you can think of five more. So do take the time to better yourself before arguments get out of hand.
Nicholl McGuire
1. Men who don't keep themselves up ie.) take daily showers, cut hair, etc.
Would you want to smell a nasty body odor from your partner or look at her disheveled hair often? Of course not. You would say something to her wouldn't you. So what makes you think she wants to keep tolerating some things about you that you have obviously let go?
2. Men who are users and abusers.
How long will you ask her to give you something, make this, or do that before she becomes visibly upset? Do as much as you can on your own, without her assistance, and maybe you won't look like you are using and abusing her. As one woman once shared with me about doing for men, "Iron wears out." A woman will grow weary of being nice to you when you don't bother to appreciate her and do what she likes sometimes without resistance. Men have said similar things--it takes two to tango, my friend. Would you like to be used and abused by her?
3. Men who lie or exaggerate about things like: who they know, where they have been, and what happened while there.
If you can't help her, don't hurt her with lies and exaggerations. Some women are vengeful--they hold alot in before they unleash their wrath--what you thought you got away with five days ago or even five years ago just might come back to haunt you, so tell the truth!
4. Men who say one thing and do another. ie.) He says he likes to go places, but in reality he is a couch potato.
When you have dated much, there are some things that you should know by now when it comes to women, like not telling your date you love her when you really don't know what you feel or making yourself out to be someone that you really aren't, like a rich big shot--yeah right. Meanwhile, the reality is you are in over your head in debt and you hope your date offers to pay sometime. Be open!
5. Men who have little room in their lives for a committed relationship.
As much as you would like to date that special someone, the truth is you barely have enough time to clip your toenails. Seriously, re-think dating a young woman when you know you have little time and patience. She will desire your attention and affection and if you can't give it to her, there will be someone else (most likely younger than you) that will fulfill that void one day. Think before you take the leap!
These five tips are just a start on the right track when it comes to dating and keeping a young woman, I'm sure you can think of five more. So do take the time to better yourself before arguments get out of hand.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
They Will Call You Ugly, Old and What Do You Want with My Daughter
Be prepared for the backlash, mature gentleman, if you want to date younger! There are some angry moms and dads who don't want their daughters dating in their words, "an old, ugly no-good man..." and whatever else they choose to call you either behind your back or to your face.
So what's with all the anger? You might think, as they look at you like one who has committed a crime. "She is old enough for me to date," you think.
Most likely, their beloved daughter has shared something about you that made them label you as "One to Watch." Your type may have been seen before or maybe they know how their daughter can be--whatever that means to them, so they don't really agree with you being in her life.
If you don't want a negative report getting back to your mate's friends or folks, then don't do anything that will make them want to call the police, show up on your doorstep, or forbid their daughter to never set eyes on you again. Shall we go down the list of things not to do?
1. Physically fight her.
2. Try to keep her in a room against her will.
3. Lie about a wife, a job, your past, etc.
4. Deny that you know someone in her family.
5. Act as if you are better than members of her family (even if it is true), don't act arrogant and then tell her about what you are thinking.
6. Play head games with her in an attempt to make her be what you want her to be. The family will be watching to see if she changes the way she looks for you, drops out of school, stops being around them, has no life of her own, etc.
Older men who find themselves in hot water with the family are those who think that they have a toy to play with, rather than a fellow human being who wants to be loved and treated with some respect. A controlling man, who likes to play mind games, will stop at nothing to get a young woman to fall in love with him. This is so that she will be loyal and take whatever he is dishing out. If he has a fetish, she will fulfill it. If he wants her to do some things that he could never get his wife to do, she will do it. If he desires a trophy and nothing more, then she will be it. Of course, none of which she does for him comes without a requested token or reward. You know, "I like those shoes, could you get them...? Do you think you can help me pay my student loan bill...?"
Why bother to seek out any woman, young or old, rich or poor, smart or dumb, to be nothing more than an object to meet one's selfish needs? A wise man who desires love is going to build a foundation and a reputation that says, "I am not an old fool. I seek a committed relationship. I want what is best for your daughter. I intend to respect her and I want her to do the same."
Now that, my friend, is a real man!
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others including Things to Do When Bored and Work Place Problems
So what's with all the anger? You might think, as they look at you like one who has committed a crime. "She is old enough for me to date," you think.
Most likely, their beloved daughter has shared something about you that made them label you as "One to Watch." Your type may have been seen before or maybe they know how their daughter can be--whatever that means to them, so they don't really agree with you being in her life.
If you don't want a negative report getting back to your mate's friends or folks, then don't do anything that will make them want to call the police, show up on your doorstep, or forbid their daughter to never set eyes on you again. Shall we go down the list of things not to do?1. Physically fight her.
2. Try to keep her in a room against her will.
3. Lie about a wife, a job, your past, etc.
4. Deny that you know someone in her family.
5. Act as if you are better than members of her family (even if it is true), don't act arrogant and then tell her about what you are thinking.
6. Play head games with her in an attempt to make her be what you want her to be. The family will be watching to see if she changes the way she looks for you, drops out of school, stops being around them, has no life of her own, etc.
Older men who find themselves in hot water with the family are those who think that they have a toy to play with, rather than a fellow human being who wants to be loved and treated with some respect. A controlling man, who likes to play mind games, will stop at nothing to get a young woman to fall in love with him. This is so that she will be loyal and take whatever he is dishing out. If he has a fetish, she will fulfill it. If he wants her to do some things that he could never get his wife to do, she will do it. If he desires a trophy and nothing more, then she will be it. Of course, none of which she does for him comes without a requested token or reward. You know, "I like those shoes, could you get them...? Do you think you can help me pay my student loan bill...?"
Why bother to seek out any woman, young or old, rich or poor, smart or dumb, to be nothing more than an object to meet one's selfish needs? A wise man who desires love is going to build a foundation and a reputation that says, "I am not an old fool. I seek a committed relationship. I want what is best for your daughter. I intend to respect her and I want her to do the same."
Now that, my friend, is a real man!
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others including Things to Do When Bored and Work Place Problems
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)