Sad Reality: Young Partners Will Lose Interest Over Time

John had been searching for love online for quite some time. He was a bit older, but he didn't let that stop him from looking for the perfect partner. One day, he came across a woman who was absolutely stunning. They started talking and it quickly became clear that they had a lot in common. They made plans to go out on dates and soon they were traveling and having long conversations about their dreams for the future. John was thrilled that he had finally found the love of his life.

However, his younger partner began to lose interest in him. She told him that her reasons weren't anything to do with his age, but John could tell that it was a big part of it. He was heartbroken that things hadn't worked out, but he knew that it was for the best. He decided to take some time for himself and focus on his own happiness. Age is often a factor when it comes to younger people's choices in relationships and John was grateful that he had realized this before it was too late.

Age gap relationships are often thought of as being unstable and more likely to end in divorce. But is this really the case? Let's take a look at the statistics.

According to a study by the University of Utah, couples with a five-year age difference between them are 18% more likely to divorce than couples who are the same age. Couples with a 10-year age difference are 39% more likely to divorce, while those with a 20-year age difference have a 95% greater chance of divorcing.

So it seems that, yes, age gaps can be associated with increased odds of divorce. However, it's important to keep in mind that these are just statistical averages and there are many happy,long-lasting age gap marriages out there.bIf you're in an age gap relationship and are concerned about the possibility of breaking up, separation, or divorce, simply talk to your partner about it and see how they feel. Chances are, if you're both committed to each other, your age difference won't be an issue.

So why was John choosing to date younger in the first place? There are plenty of reasons why older people date younger people. Here are just a few:

1. They're more energetic. Let's face it, as we get older we tend to slow down a bit. That's why dating someone who is young and full of energy can be such a breath of fresh air.
2. They have a different perspective on life. Younger people are often more open-minded and willing to try new things than those who are older. This can make for some really exciting dates!
3. They're less set in their ways. Older people often have a lot of set ideas about how they want things to be done, a younger person still has a lot to learn about life and tends not to be as rigid.

Midlife can be challenging for anyone. John had to deal with the sadness of his partner no longer being interested in him, while also trying to maintain his own happiness. It's important to focus on self-care during these times and not prey on youthful partners to make one happy. Sometimes you are able to find someone closer to your age with similar interests, attractive and energetic if you are willing to go the extra mile starting with you! Taking the time for self can be rejuvenating and can allow for greater personal growth.

Age Didn't Matter Until...

I didn't notice the age difference until "they" pointed it out.

Age gap dating highs and lows.  Sometimes you discover there are more lows than highs.

Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues

by Nicholl McGuire

Bella Ellwood-Clayton, Mind the Age Gap, The Morning Show

The Young Woman who Runs from Her Father to the Older Guy

She isn't attracted to the older man for the sake of being attracted to him, this perceptive young woman is running to him because he is a kind, sweet, caring version of what she wished her own father to be.  Everything isn't about sex and money with this particular lady.  She is quite content with or without those things, just so long as the older guy is attentive and makes her feel special and secure, he wins and angry dad loses.

Dad should have seen it coming long ago.  When he walked past his daughter as if he didn't see her or when he sat in front of the television screen far too long while never bothering to ask, "So how was your day in school?"  He should have known that he would be unimportant in her life sooner rather than later, because he could care less about his daughter's lifestyle unless it some how involved him.

The mature man, who might have a daughter of his own, is not only going to embrace the youthful beauty, but he is going to care for her (while possibly pitying her) in a way that she wants.  The troubled older man might use the woman's pain to benefit him while creating the illusion he is safe. Either way, if the man, who might be a possible father himself, isn't close to his own daughter, somehow this young lady will fulfill his emotional disconnect from his own offspring.

Some mothers, who are about the same age as their daughters older boyfriends, are disturbed by their choices in older men sometimes.  They might look like their husbands or exes, act in similar ways, or do things that make them hurt inside for their daughters. These discerning mothers see through some of these older men like looking through a glass store front.  Sure, they look good on the outside, but upon closer inspection, "What does this guy really want with my daughter?  Is he just as troubled as she?  Is someone or something absent in his life too?"

It isn't easy for some age-gap couples, because people change like they do in other types of relationships.  What once served its purpose during the courtship will one day be reviewed and replaced with something new, and if what is being offered is dismal, dissatisfying, or downright wrong, someone will wake up and the relationship will surely come to an end.  

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

The Wider the Age Gap, The More Things to Consider

Love, friendship, compatible interests, similar goals, money, mental and financial stability, you name it and singles want it all.  Some get lucky and others not so much in meeting a partner.  Age gap dating is really not that different than dating someone your own age or close to it, but there are some differences.

This issue of age not meaning much only applies if the ages between the younger and older aren't extremely wide. But age is significant when a man is old enough to be the young woman's father twice!  These people who love to talk about how age is nothing but a number haven't experienced many relationship differences, but for those who have and see the truth for what it is: He's really too old and she's really too young!  So what makes this so?

1.  Very little in common spiritually, mentally and physically.  Frequent disputes, immaturity and/or substance, emotional or physical abuse.
2.  Too little or too much money and an unwillingness to help with basic needs.
3.  Worries over things like: gold-digging, family woes with the partner, and jealousy.
4.  Employment and education focus -- too many long hours, not enough time spent together.
5.  Health concerns that affect sex.
6.  Unresolved issues with finances, former partner(s), business etc.

Whether you are the lucky older guy or gal who has landed a great companion or the one struggling in a May December relationship, there are some things to think about when dating older.  This blog has many topics that range from age gap dating to dealing with mid-life challenges.

Media reports have shared studies where couples had a hard time staying together when the age gap in a relationship is very wide.  The older guy isn't getting any younger and the young woman will not always stay young.  So as the pair matures, needs change.  What was good five or 10 years ago, isn't anymore.  The internal issues of wanting more out of life rather than settling will be there for the young woman who feels the older gentleman didn't make good on his promises or isn't what she had in mind for a partner.  The mature man will have his issues with mental and physical compatibility now that he is getting older.  These are the facts and as much as some would like to blame everything but age, it is what it is.  

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

What Do You Say If She Asks How Old Are You?

BBC - Newsbeat - Health - Age gap relationships: Good or bad?

It all depends on who you ask.  Read more:

BBC - Newsbeat - Health - Age gap relationships: Good or bad?

Age Gap Relationships - Tips For Dating An Older Man | WeLoveDates

Here's an article worth sharing.  Although the information is similar to what I have here, I feel it is a friendly reminder for those young women interested in dating older men, enjoy!

Age Gap Relationships - Tips For Dating An Older Man | WeLoveDates

Too Old, Too Young? Think Before You Act

If you have dated someone younger or older, you most likely have heard someone say, "He is too old...She is too young..."  As much as we would like to debate about "the age thing," the truth is if someone tells you the truth, you ought to listen.  Who doesn't want someone to love, who has nice things, and enjoys activities that others our own age doesn't?  But when you compare apples to oranges, there are many others out here in the world that you most likely will have more in common with your own age or near your own age.  You have to see more in a relationship with an older or younger person besides, "We both like playing video games...we both enjoy walks in the park...we both love puppies!"  On the outside looking in, these reasons are cute, but they don't represent reality.

There are many older men with young boy personalities living in their bodies like there are many younger women with older women personalities living in their bodies.  It seems like a great combination, that is until the two start living together.  You never know on what day the old soul will come out or the playful boy will show up which can cause many problems in one's  relationship.  There isn't really anything you can do about a person with alters like these.

Know who you are dating.  The older man became the playful boy, because something triggered such a personality in his old age.  The younger woman became the old soul because something also happened in her lifetime to make her that way.  A mature man liked what he no longer is (young) when he looked at the younger woman, but was drawn to the old woman inside of her.  The younger woman liked what she didn't have (a mature figure in her life) when she looked at the older man, but was drawn to the young man on the inside of him.

Sure, you can converse about your different personalities, complain, sigh or moan to that relative or friend, but none of your issues with that person will make his or her alters go away--nothing!  You either deal with them or you don't.  Relationships like these can get rather complicated, so despite being in a relationship like this myself, you won't always find me encouraging others to jump on board especially if I know they have some serious personality or unresolved childhood issues.

Of course, there are those relationships that go the distance, but oftentimes you find out that many of these kind of relationships are dead-ends.  They start out with a purpose, but then in time someone or something creates a major shift in the relationship.  It is then that "the pretty young thing" or "old man" becomes yesterday's old news.  You might even hear one day, "What happened to your girlfriend?  What was wrong with him?  I told you it wouldn't last."

Nicholl McGuire

The Significant Age Difference: An Issue with Family

Although it may not be a problem for you and your mature partner, the age difference, it is an issue for some of those who are on the outside looking in at your relationship. They may not take you or he seriously just because you are younger than he is. If he has a past pattern of dating women close to his age, then his siblings will have found more in common with that person than with you.

It can be troubling knowing his family have had a better relationship with his past girlfriends than you; however, don't let that disturb your inner peace with who you are -- if age is indeed nothing but a number then by all means keep it that way!

Jealousy, lies, confusion, bitterness, and more are in every family and his is no exception. Since you have come into his life, there may have been some hidden family issues that have now surfaced. He may have seen a different side to his once kind mother, his wonderful sister, and his easy-going brother. They may have criticized his choice in a woman either to his face or behind his back, "Why did you pick someone so young? What's going on with him, did he catch a bad case of midlife?" Whatever the comments he has had to endure since dating you, he will have to be the one to either stand with you or cave into the pressure and end the relationship -- its all up to him.

What you can do is stay true to who you are and your beliefs. If you and he believe in the relationship, then it will last, but if only one or neither of you don't, it won't.

Keep in mind that at first everyone who says, "I don't have a problem with..." In time the truth comes out and they really do have a problem. Their issue, not yours!

Enjoy your relationship while it last! Ask questions to find out the truth about his feelings before you commit. Finally, know that everyone will not like you and there is nothing in the rule book that requires you to make friends and influence people who don't like you!

Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/helpforpeople