Beyonce and Jay-Z: Young Woman Married to Older Man

When we view celebrities like Beyoncé and Jay-Z in the media, we see an A-list African American couple in an age-gap relationship who are entertainers, successful at what they do, but still people. 

It is obvious that someone, a group or the couple themselves are keeping people interested in reading, writing, and talking about them--it's business.  The more star power, the more money.  However, what we also see is something unfolding that isn't so business related, two human beings evolving and a relationship supposedly coming to an end every other week.  This is particularly interesting since both are not only different in years, but also in the way that they express themselves. 

You can see that Jay-Z is a mid-life male who is not like some of the young rappers/businessmen who wear jeans saggy, decorate themselves in tattoos, and talk much slang.  He is older, more mature, financially secure, and is interested in his family.  But he is just a man.  One who has needs just like his wife. 

Now when the relationship challenges came up in the media, it wasn't any surprise something similar came up prior to their marriage which involved cheating and then showed up again in recent years.  When you live under the media's microscope like they do, you can't afford to mess up.  As a celebrity, you don't move through life's journey without little fan-fare, everyone is watching.  Cheat on your wife or husband and someone will find a way to get the news back to others.  Lie about your whereabouts and the witnesses will report back to the camp especially if they want your wife or husband.  Beyoncé is someone's or group's fantasy--powerful men all want a piece of Beyoncé.  Her beyond sexy dance moves and attire seem to come across as a sells pitch that lures many buyers.  She has big fans out there with large bank accounts that would love to bed her.  She is also a good distraction from worldly events as well.  If a man is paying attention to this young woman's provocative moves (see the old movie Metropolis), he has lost his train of thought when it comes to issues that sincerely matter, but I digress.  Older men, most likely more powerful and older than her husband, want a piece of Beyoncé, she calms them when they view her.

On the other hand Jay-Z and his wife might be growing weary of married life, there is always some grain of truth in rumors.  The husband wasn't always a man who had a reverence for women, according to his past rhymes.  He also wasn't (and still isn't) a model for the family life either and neither is his wife.  They are simply people, not role models.  Sometimes even if individuals want to change their ways, a society who expects them to behave in certain ways (especially when money is involved and their brand is at stake) won't let them change. 

Middle-aged people who have reflected on their past life decisions might do some things differently depending on what they have accomplished thus far and whether they are satisfied with their achievements which also includes family life--there is no separating them when you have them.  The human spirit will always be connected somehow some way no matter who you run off and date or impregnate.  Yet, many aging men become bored or grow weary of the stress of family.  They look for what they think is a more exciting life elsewhere or they desire a more quiet life and move far away from their past. 

Women who are more in love with working than family may never change.  Look how much time and energy Beyoncé's team uses to keep her busy!  These career-focused women might have experienced some negative things growing up or witnessed the ladies in their family go through many trials.  Therefore, they never want to be put in any position where they have to respect, rely, be submissive, or appreciate a man.  Thinking back to how Beyoncé was packaged at the start of her career, an independent woman, she isn't showing any signs of settling down anytime too soon.  Rather she is still encouraging women to work and work and work.  But what happens is that between all of the work, a man is saving much money and doesn't have to work as hard for his family.  A woman's life hasn't become easier, it has only become more demanding.  Many women are dying before men nowadays.

Yet, as we mature, what we used to want/like/need and more in years past, isn't necessarily what we desire today.  The ups and downs of Beyoncé and Jay-Z's relationship have been shared with us through their own songs and you get some idea through media interviews with them and others who know them or know the extended family.  For years, the couple managed to overcome some storms, but the aftermath of some of their issues spilled out on the stage. 

Being in an age gap relationship has its mental and physical challenges, there is no denying these struggles and not everyone can handle them.  Sure, it's nice to be with someone wealthy, charming or beautiful, but there has to be more that one loves/likes/appreciates than the superficial or obvious.

The facts show that Beyoncé and Jay-Z lived-together prior to marriage, experienced a miscarriage, had a baby, became close to President Obama and family during his term, and have received special favor as well i.e.) Beyoncé, like Marilyn Monroe, sang before the President and his wife, visited the White House numerous times, and traveled to places that other celebrities may never see in their lifetimes.  Beyoncé and Jay-Z have written and produced many songs that weren't all positive about their relationship as well as others.

With so much accomplishment and much time away from one another (which invites all kinds of distractions), an older man and a younger woman, regardless of their age and wealth, will not always agree no more than a couple who is also rich and closer in age.  But what is different is the seasons of life and the maturing process that takes place in age-gap relationships.  Age differences can either further widen with each challenge that comes up, or depending on the circumstances, come together through determination to be together come what may. 

Public melt-downs, arguments, illness, cheating, pregnancy, over-spending, and more have changed relationships between celebrities over the years and will continue.  Beyoncé and Jay-Z did well  keeping quiet during media interviews about their age gap relationship, but there is a lot said in a song, a movie choice, a photograph, and a public appearance.  Not that long ago, Beyoncé's sister Solange rang the alarm similar to the anger that Beyoncé showed in her song, "Ring the Alarm."

As much as no one likes for family and friends to get into our personal business, there are times when they are involved because we put them in it.  We conversed with them about our "issues", invited them to our events, attended their functions, assisted them when in trouble and vice versa, and more.  When you are connected to so many, who sincerely care about you, they will notice when your relationship isn't right.  It is a known fact that many African American men can be controlling.  Considering the bad history that the populace has experienced, it isn't any wonder.  Now put an age in years on the man acting controlling, and you will soon discover the people, places and things that influenced him to act bossy and verbally or non-verbally abusive.

When a young woman has sex with an older man and produces a child, that too comes with its share of issues.  Some women experienced great stress during pregnancy and afterward, because a man was ill-equipped to handle, not only his own mid-life challenges, but the mother's changes as well.  Babies face all sorts of health issues depending on how old a parent might be. If there are mental and physical challenges, parents have to face those too.

So if there is anything one takes away from this high profile celebrity couple's age gap relationship, may it be that you look out for the mental and physical issues that arise in your own, address them as soon as you can, don't pretend as if they don't exist, and respect the fact that age does matter sometimes.

Nicholl McGuire

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