Confession: Have Never Been in Love with My Lovers' Minds

Have Never Been in Love with My Lovers' Minds  a poem written based on the past loves the writer met before apps, websites, and other toys created to meet people.  There is a deception that takes place when a couple meets under dimly lit lights, good food, and later sex.  The kind of trickery that makes one think that something is real when it is not.  What does a smart girl have in common with a dumb man and vice versa?  Never downplay your intelligence to attract, keep or maintain a partner.  Be real with yourself and others.  Sooner or later you will be with the one who truly is compatible with you!

You Don't Need a Husband, You Want a Temporary Lover

Young women everywhere consider this question, "Do I want or need a husband?"  There is a difference between wanting and needing.  A want is simply thinking about having something, but there is no pressing need to get it.  "I want a Mercedes Benz, but I could live without it," says a fan.  But her friend says, "Well, I need to get one, because my dad and I are in business together and we have to make a statement when we pass by observers.  Besides, I hear they are good road cars and we will be traveling a lot."  So you see the difference between wanting and needing.  When it comes to men, like cars, there are those you need and others you just want.

There might be women in your circle pressuring you into thinking you need to consider getting married, while all you really want is a temporary friend with benefits.  Of course, church-goers frown on the latter.   However, being that we live in a world that appears to celebrate all things immoral, it isn't any wonder why many women opt out of a potential marriage and prefer singleness.  In addition, when you are a woman, who has it all ie.) material wealth, children from a previous relationship, good friends, etc., what good is a man other than for periodic sex anyway?  This is how some women think and men know it, so they are careful not to fall in love with the "I have it all" types.  Yet, what tends to happen over time is a woman starts wanting a serious relationship with a man who she has convinced for years she doesn't want as a husband, how might you think he will react?  "Marriage?  Uh.  I thought you didn't want anything serious?" he questions.

Be certain of your feelings, what you hope to give and take from a relationship, and why you may or may not be interested in a long-term commitment.  Communicate your thoughts to your future husband or temporary lover. 

Nicholl is the Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
October is Domestic Violence Awareness
http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com