A young woman or a rebellious teen who is not street smart and has very little information when it comes to relating to men will be easily entrapped in a lifestyle that will be difficult to get out of with her mind, body and spirit still intact. Beautiful women have aged rapidly, gone crazy, caught sexually transmitted diseases, had unwanted children, got on welfare rolls, and did things that have negatively impacted their lives as a result of chasing after or being caught by manipulative older men.
If you suspect that a charming, older guy seems to be very interested in you (to the point that it makes you feel nervous or strange,) notice other signs as well.
1. He either ignores your comments about a future relationship with him or pretends he is interested in a relationship with you, but his body language/mannerisms says otherwise.
While showing interest in you, does he also mention things about how he can help you and what he will do for you if you do ABC for him? Does he get close to you when he talks, touches you a lot, and makes you feel a bit uncomfortable? If so, he is already setting the tone of the relationship, he expects you to comply with his wishes by being pushy, controlling, and deceptive.
2. He is eager to introduce you to "some friends."
He seems almost too excited to show you off to his friends. He tells you that you will like them. He boasts about who they are and their connections. He doesn't give you too much information about them, because he doesn't want you poking around the Internet. He may only use nicknames or he may use an existing business (not affiliated with them) to throw you off. You won't find out the truth if you rush into anything. If you wait before jumping in, it won't be long before the liar's true colors will appear. Mention that you would like to share this information about the people and business with a friend from law enforcement, then watch his reaction. Take the time to do some investigative work. And whatever you do, don't drink or eat anything he or "they" offer you and take a relative or friend with you (advise them not to eat or drink anything either) when you go to meet some of his "friends."
3. He offers to buy you a very expensive item without really knowing you yet.
Now why would he be so quick to buy you something? Did you promise sex? If so, then you are putting yourself in a position to make good on the deal. It is never too late to back out, no matter how much he says, "You promised...I thought we had a deal."
4. He puts off meeting your relatives and friends.
Shady men, especially those who grew up where your relatives are from, don't want any parts of them simply because it is a small world. He doesn't want to take a chance bumping into one of your relatives when he knows he has a long troubled track record. He also doesn't want you to know what he is really about. He knows that your family and friends will sound the alarm if they so much as suspect that he is using you.
5. He doesn't want you taking any photos of him, his car, or any pictures inside or around his residence.
Men who have something to hide, don't want it getting out that they are with possibly "the other woman" or a young lady who could be old enough to be his daughter--this is still considered shameful in many circles.
6. He claims that he is being honest with you even though you notice that there are some things off about the stories he tells.
If you performed a background check, there may be some things he says that is inconsistent with what you found. Of course, he will explain things away especially if he isn't who claims to be. Don't permit any man to convince you that what you know as fact is incorrect, inaccurate, or a lie. That's what he wants you to think so that he can continue to manipulate you.
7. He connects you with someone or a group for a so-called job opportunity which really turns out to be something that is offensive, illegal, or strange, then he becomes distant.
You are left in the hands of strangers who will attempt to persuade you to do what they ask and you will be well compensated. However, in time, things will get ugly and you might find yourself entrapped in a lifestyle of being drugged, raped, beaten, and more. Most likely, the older man was given a stipend or some other benefit for recommending you to the person or group.
When you notice some or all of the previously mentioned signs, just know that this is a character that you ought to stay far away from. Individuals like this are only concerned about one thing and that is getting what they want. As much as some of you young ladies reading this would like to believe that charming, too-good-to-be-true types sincerely love and care for you, unfortunately you will learn later that they are users and abusers. With so many beautiful, successful women their own age, you have to ask, why would a seemingly prosperous, mature man choose me? Something is obviously wrong.
Nicholl McGuire, Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate