Older Men Avoid Acting Younger to Appease Your Dates

Another date and this time the mature man wants to show off his new, youthful vocabulary as well as some jeans and a top that would look much better on a man half his age (sigh).  It's obvious the poor man is trying too hard to connect with the younger woman.

Some young women are immediately turned off when older men attempt to charm them by acting like they know a bit much about their age group.  They converse in such a way to sound hip and dress as if they are up on the latest trends.  Admittedly there are a number of older men who do a good job of fitting in with the younger crowds, but they also attract just what they deserve immature youth.

The key to connecting with any woman (young or old) is to be as close to yourself as you can especially during those early dates.  Let the lady figure out whether she wants to continue to meet or not.  At least you are showing her that you are confident enough in yourself to be yourself!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of She's Crazy, a book for men who have been used and abused by women.

How to Keep a Young Woman Interested in You and Not Your Flaws

When one is mature seeking a youthful lady, he has to know that in order to keep her interest, he must have some things about him that keep her coming back for more other than the typical large financial portfolio, sex, and impressive toys that other rich gentleman suitors have. A wise younger woman is going to look the other way after a few dates when she starts to see those flaws that tend to show up out of nowhere with some older men. For instance, he typically dyes his hair, but after a few dates he advertises his grays for the world to see. He might even trade a nice dress shirt for a boring, old tee-shirt.

What does the premature display of the real you say to this young woman who may still consider you a stranger? “He’s a great actor. I didn’t realize just how old he really is until he showed up with that 1970’s wardrobe with his white hair sprouting everywhere!” A young woman can have a short attention span especially for an older man who stands before her looking dull and tired. Face it, some men have to work harder than others to keep a woman happy.

1. Communicate your strengths.

You might not be active like most men, but you are smarter than many of them. Put your intelligence to work and help that young woman improve herself physically, mentally and spiritually when the opportune time comes. She just might say, “I was thinking, maybe you could help me with…” Jump at the opportunity by sharing what you know about her concerns and how might she be able to solve them.

2. Focus on your accomplishments and how they have helped others.

What is it about you that impresses most men and women that know you? You might be lacking in looks, but you might have a long list of awards for your generosity, gifts for helping others, business achievements, and more. Share what drives you to be the best you can be. She just might overlook those imperfections that others would run from.

3. Ask her about her goals, dreams and desires.

Young women like to talk about themselves, so encourage her to do so. This might make you stand out from those other guys because she you are sincerely interested in hearing what she has to say. Once again, look for opportunities to help her achieve her dreams.

4. Take care of yourself.

Men who do things to improve their appearances are a draw for many women. A man who doesn’t smoke, maintains his body weight, and smells good has a better chance at meeting and keeping a woman than a man who does the total opposite.

5. Point out obvious issues before she does, and mention what you are doing to try to fix them.

Women have flaws just like men, but when they are noticeable, many will explain the who, what, when, where, why, and how of them all. When men share their war stories, they just might get a sympathetic ear and someone who will get a little closer to them depending on the story. So if you know you can’t hide your issue like a large scar across your left cheek, talk about it, but don’t say so much that it makes her scared, worried, or concerned for her life.

6. Share a few past failures, but mention how you managed to move on with your life.

It is better that she hears about your past then from the neighborhood, so if you did some things that she just might find out about if she were to conduct a background check, let her know. However, include what you are doing differently now and how you resolved past issues.

7. Mention the people and things you do that keep you motivated.

Are there some people who could vouch for how good of a man you truly are? In time, you will want to use them to help your date reach a decision on whether you are good for her or not. Some single women might not be completely convinced about dating certain men due to one flaw or another, but then along comes the single man’s mom and sister bragging about their loved one and now a date, who was once in doubt, is ready to commit.

When a young woman notices your flaws, don’t hide, worry, or think the worse, just do your best to explain, but not so much that she desires to go elsewhere. Know what impresses your date and stick to those things that keep her interested in you and not your flaws.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of the following books:
Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic https://www.createspace.com/3437273
When Mothers Cry https://www.createspace.com/3393499
Laboring to Love Myself https://www.createspace.com/3401526
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate https://www.createspace.com/3332346
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/904839
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3113926

She's Mature for 21...

"She's mature for 21..." That's what they all say, but in all actuality there are many differences that are not so "mature." Here are a few to keep your eyes wide open when you are dating someone 25 years and less.

1. The first argument.

You know you are dealing with an immature woman when she can't explain herself without crying, fighting and or threatening to hurt you in some way.

2. Money.

You always have to foot the bill whenever you go out while she is always saying, "I need..." She still has alot of growing up to do in the financial department, so if you aren't willing to carry or teach her then leave her alone.

3. Health ailments.

Whether you or she is having issues mentally and/or physically, remember she is young and has a lot of life that has yet to be untapped she may grow weary of caring for you (unless of course there are benefits.) On the other hand, you may not have a lot of life to care for someone if she is the ill one. So choose what you are willing to put up with before things get too deep between the two of you and then you or she wants to bail out when things turn for the worse.

4. Children.

She may not have any and you may have a few. What's the likelihood she will want children someday? Think: when you were in your early twenties you said many things you didn't want, but ended up having everything you didn't want. If you know for certain no more children for you, then protect yourself and don't trust that she will always remember to take her pill.

5. Exs.

Does she act different toward you when you have to pick up your children from their mother's home? Does she seem like she is annoyed when you talk about exs? Do you still remain friends with exs even though she has asked you not to? These are all real issues that cause long-term problems if you don't handle them from the start of the relationship. Be open about your relationship or lack thereof with exs when dealing with a younger woman.

6. Common sense.

Common sense unfortunately isn't too common even among the best of us, so with that said, never assume a younger woman who doesn't have as much experience in emotional/physical relationships as you will understand your needs and how to treat you.

7. Street smarts.

It is very easy to take advantage of a niave young woman who has been sheltered most of her life. If you consider yourself a "good man" do her and her family a favor, don't play games! You don't want to shake hands with her father knowing full well you aren't interested in being committed to his beloved daughter. You don't want to win mom over if you know you are having trouble shaking off the exs, balancing a checkbook, or keeping your apartment tidy. Meet the parents when you know you have your self together! One thing parents can see a mile away is a man who is street smart and they will advise their daughter against dating "the old player" especially if dad, uncles, and other men in the family have and are still playing around themselves.

In closing, remember don't play and you won't get played. These young women nowadays don't really need a man like previous generations; however, there are always those who will pretend like they do.

Nicholl McGuire