The older man looking to date younger women noticed one from afar, this one was very pretty--long dark hair, ruby red lips, shapely with an eye-catching rear, attractive face with a narrow nose, about 5'6". He guessed she was about a D cup, but wasn't certain because he was fooled before. Oh yes, this was his One--something out of a magazine! Yet, what the older gentleman didn't know was that she was also pretty smart too. She observed him looking at her from the corner of her eye. Sure, he was nice-looking for his age, but from what this college student could tell, this man had his share of baggage. His eyes that went from warm-looking to cold and then back again briefly told his story. His posture didn't look to confident as if he was using a nearby rail to hold himself up.
The lust-filled older man was in search of a young lady who could make him smile and give him a good time in the sack she assumed, but what about her needs, she thought? From the way the man in his fifties walked to the way he talked,she overheard his brief chat in the parking lot. "Older people love to talk about the weather," she had chuckled to herself as she walked quickly.
The car he drove and his inexpensive attire were also telling, no he didn't give off a sugar daddy vibe--that's for sure! No, this man didn't have much to share, she told herself. "Probably lost alot in a divorce or still losing."
The older guy had a small, crinkled McDonald's bag in one hand and a small coffee in the other. Either he didn't eat much, was watching his weight, finances or maybe all three, she pondered and continued to watch. It was obvious that the mature man wasn't young by the way he moved and probably wasn't that good in bed. He also wasn't as detailed as he once was, the young woman had pity on him as her thoughts increased about her admirer. He had missed many gray hairs on his head and face from his quick dye job which was too dark and didn't flatter his aging face. Then that body build wasn't what it used to be if it ever was. Yet, she looked on smiling at him after their eyes made contact wondering if he carried any useful information to stimulate her ears his appearance wasn't dazzling.
The young woman agreed to date the man after repeated sightings here and there. The pair would one day meet and he would spoil her with many goodies.
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Then they met again and more items that she needed. he made such an impression on her that she forgot about all that stuff she thought about him early on. As the relationship grew more serious, the man promised her a car, bought a very expensive jewelry set, and planned a trip overseas. It turned out he was exceptionally wealthy. A broke college student really didn't have much to offer so she thought. But the man appreciated her company, affection and her beauty much. However, after much time and money spent, the couple broke up.
Now in the above fictional story, I want you to fill in the remaining details as to what happened next that led to the relationship's ending. Did the man lose interest because he realized he wanted more in the relationship? Did he finally discover that she wasn't really attracted to him? Did the young woman feel suffocated or controlled? Do he stop spoiling her? Did she discover that he was married? The truth is that in many age gap relationships there is no future just temporal companionship and financing.
My version to this story will correlate with the title above. In reality, some of these age gap dating relationships consist of rich, older men putting pressure on young women to always be their best selves whenever they are around. For details to the story's ending, I throw this out there:
The man wanted his lady friend to be quiet about "issues" when they would arise and "just have a good time." Sometimes her intellectual side would get the best of her and she would ramble on about a myriad of thoughts concerning the past, present and future. But the mature man, who spent much time on his free days unresponsive had rules she had yet to learn. No talking about any negative personal feelings, asking questions about his past, and no communicating concerns even those that involve the pair.
Remember I told you in the beginning of the fictional story that the young lady was smart. The older man believed himself deserving of her, so he watched her too. His poor act was just that, because he was well aware of gold-diggers. He noticed that the young lady was a hard worker, conscious of her spending, didn't have much, and was proud of her college. She often wore the school's emblem, ate at McDonald's every Tuesday right before her class and rushed off to the college's shuttle bus stop, because she didn't have enough money to buy a car. She would wear impressive clothes every now and again, but no accessories. During those early days of watching his former lover because that's all he ever really wanted but he was open to something serious, he knew the pretty young lady was observant because she often checked her surroundings and saw him and smart too. But the prideful, mature gentleman, believed he was mature, powerful, and deserving of whatever he desired. The man never denied himself any forbidden fruit despite his being married more than a couple times, going through a divorce, and then of course the recent serious relationship that didn't work out either. So unfortunately emotional and physical cheating, pride, power,control, and more also contributed to this age gap relationship ending too.
You see, when dating you have to know what you are getting yourself into before emotions take over and what exactly do you want and don't. What are you willing to give and what are you unwilling to tolerate? You have to look beyond appearance, gifts and sex to truly see the person for who he or she really is. Troubled people are vulnerable, weak, and easily led into many tempting situations. Pretty is fleeting, but wisdom lasts a lifetime. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of people exercising common sense or wisdom in dating app world or in the real world. They prefer to get immediate needs met now and worry about the consequences later. Dismiss what their minds and hearts tell them just to get a thing or two.
"Look pretty..." the older man demanded one day prior to the breakup. "Just look pretty! You don't need to talk, I don't need to talk! But if you should want to talk and you tell me something I don't want to hear or respond to...You will annoy me. You don't like to be irritated and neither do I!"
The things people say when they have money and a host of other choices.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy.
