Showing posts with label unattractive older men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unattractive older men. Show all posts

Sunday

When an Older Partner is Not as Nice-Looking as He Once Was - Stay Positive

Age gap dating, the challenge of getting older (sigh).  For the younger woman, his lines, age marks, wrinkles, and gray hair came way too fast since their first encounter. 

The day you, who are much younger, realized your guy was old, maybe a lot older than you, he may have been shocking to view without his beauty aides, but you kept quiet.  "Where did time go?  What or who had I been looking at all this time?" you might have thought.  He could have thought the same about you too (but I digress).

When dating someone older or married to a person decades older, it is very easy to see what you like about him or her when they are still relatively attractive.  However, time isn't always kind to everyone especially when we age and now what was once appealing isn't.  If your relationship was built on looks, well you might want to start looking for other things you like about that individual other than superficial things as soon as possible.  It is only a matter of time that your older partner will notice that you just aren't that into him like you once were.

Appreciate his great personality.  This doesn't seem to go anywhere when one is still full of energy despite his looks.  Some older people, no matter what the life challenges may be, still manage to thrive.  There is still hope for a relationship when the person works to maintain that shimmering personality.  So close your eyes and embrace all that positive energy he offers!

Share a zest for life.  People who enjoy life, seek all sorts of ways to stay engaged and active.  Check to see that your gentleman is doing just that.  However, if one is turning into a miserable, older person, who doesn't see anything good from one day to the next, this will not only steal what little youthful look he might still have, but cause you to often dream of running away.  Therefore, encourage him to regain his youth, not by living vicariously through you, but enjoying all that life has to offer for himself.

Learn a thing or two about his finances.  He works hard and knows how to manage his money or so you hope.  He has plans and you just might be a part of those plans in the future--good for you both!  Yes, as much as we don't want to look at how much money one makes, it's going to be a challenge when the individual is no longer providing a lavish lifestyle for himself and no one else.  You can be a beacon of light by offering suggestions on saving money rather than spending up his money every chance you get (maybe your not like this, but just in case you have been).  He may not be that attractive anymore, but he knows that his money might still be.  He need not be irresponsible with it to keep you, capice?

Take interest in his hobbies.  Anyone who enjoys doing something other than a partner, well that is awesome!  So this guy has a hobby that is interesting and you could even be a part of helping with his hobby.  If it is reasonable and more, well it doesn't hurt to take interest and ask questions.  He just might be impressed.

Work out.  So things go downhill on the outside, but they don't have to on the inside!  You just might find the mature guy a bit more attractive when you see that body moving weight around or running on the treadmill rather than remaining sedentary for hours.  He might even say, "Not only am I doing this for me, but for you, Babe!"  How sweet!  The gentleman might find you even more attractive because he sees that you care about your body too! 

So you see, there is more than meets the eye!  You can have a great relationship with a guy who unfortunately is having his share of challenges in the looks department.  But when he has all these other wonderful attributes, who cares about looks?

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues.  Check online wherever books are sold.

Wednesday

Unattractive But Beautiful...His Words That Is

Oh the seductive sound of a male voice telling you how sweet, sexy and sophisticated you are, young woman!  It makes you feel good, doesn't it?  You love when he tells you how much he enjoys your company, how beautiful you are, how smart...you can't help but be in love with the sound of his inspirational words.  But you have a secret and your girlfriends know what it is, your mom might know, and your dad doesn't want to think about it.  The well-kept secret was your date is just not your type.  He is unattractive.

Now that your secret is out, what are you going to do about it?  I mean he sounds so charming.  He says things that no other man has ever told you.  He makes you feel like you are on top of the world.  You just never heard such wonderful things come out of one's mouth.  Oh, but...we know he's ugly.

This is why you just don't settle young ladies for any man no matter how sweet, adorable or kind he is--you just don't!  You don't make unattractive men think that you are into them, when you know you are not.  You are basically living a lie!  Sure those words these unattractive, older gentlemen say are beautiful, but when you walk with these men in public, who most women wouldn't even think of giving their time much less a second glance, you got to feel confident.  You can't be concerned about what people think of you, a gorgeous 10, with the fat old guy.  Instead, you have to motivate yourself to want to be with him despite his imperfections.  You have to remind yourself you have flaws too.  You tell yourself things like, "It's what's on the inside that matters...I will just have to overlook those things on his face I don't like.  His crooked teeth...big ears.  The fact he doesn't workout.  I have to remember he is older and one day I will be older..."  That's a lot of self-talk in order to maintain a relationship with someone you don't find attractive isn't it?

Save yourself all the mind manipulation and face the facts, you wouldn't give this man the time of day if it wasn't for those sweet things he says to you and his material wealth just might be an added benefit, right?  So if the sales pitch you give yourself becomes a burden and you just can't keep making yourself go out with him, use some beautiful words of your own and start making a slow departure.  It's for the best if looks are that important to you.  Besides think of your future offspring (sigh).  God bless 'em!

Nicholl McGuire

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