Thursday

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Verbal Abuse - Emotionally Abusive Men, Women - Ne...

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Verbal Abuse - Emotionally Abusive Men, Women - Ne...: Here are many signs one must watch out for when involved or married to someone who is mean, sometimes nice, mean, sometimes nice and so on ...

Tuesday

Dating an Older Guy, Young Woman

Dating older is not a bad thing, but it can be if you are breaking the law.  A mature man dating a young woman can be an enriching experience, but not when she has a child's mindset or worse a body that is not fully developed (and if so she is a child and not a woman).

As I write, I think of so many young girls who desire to be with older men, but they don't realize that there is far more they have to do besides look pretty and spend their money.  Mature men want quality companions who eventually might help with chores, possibly procreate with them, and emotionally and financially assist.  This is a lot to ask from someone who has barely left home and still very much relying on parents and/or grandparents to bail them out of situations.

So I guess what I most want to say is think before you target someone who has yet to get his or her life in order--the way he or she desires.  A man who is fresh out of a relationship, has children from previous relationships and busy with work needs time for himself contrary to what he might tell the young lady.  A woman who is still in school, dependent on family, and doesn't have much to offer will sooner or later resent connecting with an older man who can't do much for her but buy a few gifts when he feels like it and provide periodic sex.

Dating older or younger is a great thing when two people have their personal and professional lives in order.  But if not, it can be such a hardship.

Nicholl McGuire knows all-too-well check out her many books on relationships.

Monday

Advice for the Mature Man Dating Young Women - Watch out for the Needy Woman

Courting a needy woman is an added stress for many mature men who are set in their ways.  Author and Motivational Speaker Nicholl McGuire brings awareness to the woman who wants far too much than she gives.  The Needy Woman

Thursday

Did You Buy The Right Gift - Older Dating Younger

You know you didn't do well shopping for a partner if you made any of the following mistakes:

1.  You bought something without knowing his or her size.

2.  You assumed that your friend would like something but didn't bother to ask about allergies.

3.  You thought you picked the perfect gift, but did you check to see if he or she got it already?

4.  You didn't do any detective work.

5.  You barely know this person and are hoping for the best.

6.  You didn't test it to see that it worked.

7.  You didn't bother to check to see what else you need to buy for it.

Keep in mind an age gap is significant when you don't have a clue what a person likes in his or her age group or you presume that because he or she is a certain age that the gift is appropriate. 

Take the time to be sure you really got a good gift before presenting it.  If it isn't a good one, apologize and offer to make it up to him or her.

Nicholl McGuire also manages a blog for people who are simply bored with people and stuff. Stop by.

Thursday

Thanks for Your Support

I just wanted to take this moment to thank the contributors of this blog and all those who have shared their entries.  I am so glad that so many singles and couples have found it useful.  I look forward to having an even better year!

At this time we are welcoming any contributors who would like to be featured for their age gap dating tips or challenges on this relationship blog.  Also any individual or business who would like to purchase ad space, do make contact.

Feel free to reply to this post or contact me at nichollmcguire@gmail.com

Nicholl McGuire is the manager of this blog, a self-published author, inspirational speaker, and business owner originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has been a featured guest on television and radio talk shows such as networks CBS and WPXI Channel 11.

Wednesday

Date Again and Feel Happy Doing So

So the last date didn't work out and neither did those others before.  Well if you gave yourself a nice long break, you can get back out and wade around a bit in the dating pool if you are in the mood.  However, if you are still angry about the last time you went out with someone, still grieving over an ex, and don't know what the future holds, keep all the confusion and dysfunction to yourself!

Happy and confident older men and younger women have issues of their own to deal with and the last thing they want are negative people in their lives using them as a dumping ground for everything that hurts.  These are good times for many people due to all the merry-making, but also not so good for others.  If you are just not in the mood to date, then stay out the game awhile longer, but if you are carefree and single again, then start drafting a new dating profile, get a fresh photo up, and start browsing some online dating sites!  Check out our sponsor to the right of your screen.

To your success,

Nicholl McGuire

Sunday

Married for Material Wealth, Success? A Spiritual Perspective


Some marry for material wealth.  They are greedy and manipulators.

Be careful not every man is okay with women seeking benefactors.

Think before you take the leap!

For more wise messages like this, visit YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

Wednesday

Too Much Time to Himself - The Older Man May Not Adjust Well to Family Life

There are many young women with young children entering into relationships with independent, childless older men.  It seems on the surface that it is a great connection, because the women don't have to be concerned too much about having more children since they already have one or more.  However, some women do end up having children with these once lonely men who don't always welcome their new life.

Stubborn men are set in their ways.  Players don't want to give up on having multiple partners.  Abusive men don't need the added stress of a woman or babies, yet they go out seeking their next victims anyway.  Workaholic, child-free men find small children and needy women quite annoying and liabilities.  All of these selfish men are in dating pools all over the internet and offline and so when they hear the news, "We are expecting," not all are the least bit happy even if they pretend to be.

Some men have spent far too much time in their youth living as bachelors.  They are not the least bit skilled in caring for children and tending to young women in need of assistance.  They have to work hard to change their mindsets in order to appreciate the value in settling down.  This isn't always easy and sometimes it takes awhile before a young woman can see that her mature mate really isn't interested in the family life.  There are those men who do adjust and go on about their lives with occasional challenges related to relationships and parenting.

It is unfortunate to learn later rather than sooner about an older man not wanting or appreciating his family, but when the writing is on the wall, you might as well read it.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy

Friday

Older Men Avoid Acting Younger to Appease Your Dates

Another date and this time the mature man wants to show off his new, youthful vocabulary as well as some jeans and a top that would look much better on a man half his age (sigh).  It's obvious the poor man is trying too hard to connect with the younger woman.

Some young women are immediately turned off when older men attempt to charm them by acting like they know a bit much about their age group.  They converse in such a way to sound hip and dress as if they are up on the latest trends.  Admittedly there are a number of older men who do a good job of fitting in with the younger crowds, but they also attract just what they deserve immature youth.

The key to connecting with any woman (young or old) is to be as close to yourself as you can especially during those early dates.  Let the lady figure out whether she wants to continue to meet or not.  At least you are showing her that you are confident enough in yourself to be yourself!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of She's Crazy, a book for men who have been used and abused by women.

Wednesday

Welcome to Tips on Dating Older Men, Young Women

For years now we have populated this blog with some of the best dating resources, videos, and expert opinions on the subject of older men dating younger women and vice versa.  We hope that you have enjoyed this material.  In the future, we plan to share more useful information to not only connect wise, older and handsome men with sophisticated young, attractive women, but also to maintain these relationships.  

Many connections end up moving from casual dating to serious commitments.  If you are interested in exploring this kind of dating, feel free to educate yourself about this subject.  We have plenty of information to help.  Although we know, some men enjoy dating people who are very young, we do not encourage connections that are under the age of 18.  We strongly advise against it and hope that our visitors will respect our stance. 

Thanks for your support and feel free to share this site with someone who might be interested in dating older or younger.

To your success!

Thursday

Age is Just a Number By Tim Feeser


If you are a middle-age man who is seeking to get back into shape, then let the author of Age is Just a Number motivate you!  Check out this new book on Smashwords.com by clicking here.

Thursday

Time for the Self-Talk - Is this what you really want?

Your parents aren't going to say much else, your friends might question what were you thinking, and you might not know what you are doing, you just like dating your older or younger partner.  But is the relationship what you really want.  Here are some questions to ponder:

1.  Is this a serious relationship for me?  Why or why not?

2.  Is he/she really my type?  If yes, what makes this person compatible?  If not, what are those differences?

3.  What is keeping us interested in one another?  List actions.

4.  Can I picture myself spending the rest of my life with him/her?  Why or why not?

5.  Do I want children with this person?  What are some reasons why you might consider or not?

6.  What can I give her or him?  Think of what you are already doing and what might you still be able to give this person to keep interest and learn more about one another.

7.  What might this person give me?  What could he or she do for you in the future?


Taking a pause and really thinking about your feelings, actions and other things related to a relationship is a helpful exercise.  Before long, you will feel confident knowing you are with the right person during this season in your life.  However, things can change, so ride the waves when they do.  To your success!

Nicholl McGuire is an author, blogger, speaker and virtual assistant.

Tuesday

Serious, Exclusive Relationships

Are you in a serious relationship with an older man or young woman?  If so, check out another page managed by Nicholl McGuire.  On the hub, the blog owner provides relationship tips to keep love alive in a safe, stable relationship.  Enjoy!  See here.

Monday

Power Struggle with a Stubborn, Older Man - Give In or Move On

He may not come right out and tell his dates, "Listen, I am not that guy who is going to go along just to get along.  I am going to raise questions, drag my feet, and do any number of things if I suspect you want me to do something for you, agree to something you say..."  But his actions or inactions in the relationship will one day expose who he really is after his charming demeanor begins to fade.

There is a personal power struggle with some men and they aren't much interested in sitting in the passenger seat, not even for a moment, in a friendship, casual dating arrangement, or serious relationship.  They want to drive everyone and everything from the initial meetings with dates to how things go on in the bedroom.  There is no working together.  This is why many older men are divorced.  They were controlling and still are that way and will never admit to this.  When former wives started objecting to their demands and refused to take their mistreatment whether emotional or violent any longer, they were considered difficult women who didn't love and appreciate them.  These men will do their best to appear like they were victims, but this just isn't the case with most.  They provoked situations with evil looks, wicked statements, cheating, lying, acting cold, distant, and more toward their families and ex-partners started striking back.  But an older man will tell a young woman anything for a good time, sex and a roof over his head if he hasn't accomplished too much in life.

As long as a young lady allows an older, controlling man to dominate the relationship, he might keep her around for awhile.  But this sort of arrangement gets old and sooner or later the young lady will grow weary of the man making all the decisions like where to go, who to see, and so on.  She will become irritated with having to wait for him to be in the mood to do this or that with her, then become further annoyed when he is dictating how long they stay at an event, how much money is spent, where they might move to or stay, etc.  Cohabitate with a stubborn man and before long you are setting up the environment to suit him more-so than yourself.

You can't teach a man who has been with many women in his lifetime too much of anything.  He has seen much, accomplished possibly more or not nearly enough for his age, and now all he wants is a youthful, working companion that looks cute, doesn't talk much, and has more commonalities than differences.  His requests might seem simple enough, but a rigid man is not the least bit easy to get along with if you too are stubborn, controlling and enjoy being the new age, independent type.  One day you will both reach the cross roads in your relationship, either give in or move on.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and other books.

Sunday

Immature, Older Men Test Driving Young Women Like Cars - Now What's Wrong with That?

Comparing a woman to a car, eh?  She is bright, shiny, good steering, comfortable seating, fast, good suspension, engine purrs...Wow!  You are saying a lot about yourself when you describe a woman like you do your state of the art vehicle.  What you are really saying is you like an attractive woman, who will have sex quickly, move well in bed, and isn't loud and annoying.  You like her quiet and docile--you can control her like you do your automobile.  Is that too much to ask? 

Now behind closed doors, you just might get away with this sort of mentality with the guys and you might even impress a few niave, silly women who could care less about being compared to a sports car.  However, test driving young women like cars is going to cost you mentally, physically, and spiritually.  Just like a car, sooner or later you and they will break down.  Hurt feelings, broke bank accounts, troubled minds, STDs, unsupportive family members, unwanted children, etc.  Hearts left on the side of the road like bumpers, blown out tires, broken glass, etc.  How much time does one really have to play immature games with immature women?

The truth is men like this don't care about women, rather they enjoy test driving them.  You probably know a few old players in the family.  Young, sexy, and immature women can be fun, exciting, and interesting at first, but in time they get old, unattractive, boring, and oftentimes don't work out, because they realize, "What am I doing with this old guy?" 

Keeping with the cars and women comparison for just a little longer, if you don't get a tune up for an automobile over time, what might happen?  Problems and more problems.  The warning lights inside the dash are clicking on and off and the car is becoming more of an issue than you can handle.  Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that you got something fixed on it?  Like what irresponsible men do with their beloved aging cars, they run their old ladies into the ground and then do the same with young women.

It's unfortunate men and women have to learn the hard way before recognizing that their personal views, when it comes to relationships along with how they treat one another, has a lot to do with why they are often unhappy and unsatisfied.  With each new person that comes into one's life, it becomes increasingly difficult to get needs met.  After awhile one gets exhausted with the mind games and eventually settles down sometimes with a decent human being, but most often with the one you should have, could have stayed away from.

A mature man is called that for a reason, he is no longer like a boy or young man childish in his ways.  However, if he is still thinking of women like cars, it is only a matter of time, that he will trade the poor girl in for a new model.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.

 

Wednesday

Wake Up - Male Midlife Crisis is Real - Young Woman You Might Be a Victim

For some men, they thought that if they stepped out of their marriages, distanced themselves from children and live a little, things would get better.  Unfortunately, those feel-good emotions didn't happen long term like they had hoped.  The "living a little" with the hot chick, new car, baby on the way, relocation, and other surprises turned into nothing more than burdens.

Former mature partners know better, young ladies don't have a clue.  At first agreeing to date these men in crisis, who appear so charming, seems harmless for many single women until they spend time with them when they don't appear so attractive or behave so nicely. 

Like the older women, these young women soon discover that something is very wrong with partners/lovers.  They start feeling uncomfortable around these difficult men and contemplate breaking up with them.  "What did I say?  What did I do?  Why is this guy so negative?  What the f*ck is wrong with him!" a young lady might think.  It isn't so much what you said or did to set him off that rattles the evil within, but it is how he feels at the moment a challenge arises.  He may have been okay with something one day and then go ballistic the next.  Welcome to the world of andropause/irritable male syndrome/low T.

If you have yet to read articles about male midlife on this site and others, then start diving in, you will be in for a treat or maybe a trick because you will feel like you have been duped once you get to know the irritable male. 

Take heed young woman, there is more to a middle-aged man who is often moody and has what appears to be a decent past (somewhat normal not too bad,) and a satisfactory lifestyle.  Despite his blessings, he nit-picks about them, complains about little things, and frequently finds fault with the people around him.  Also, think twice before joining the bandwagon of blaming exes.  A man in crisis may have had children with an ex he fell deeply in love with until his bodily changes took over.  He might have been married for a long time, had a great career, interesting life experiences, etc. but all those things came to a halt when emotions started to change, so rather than weather life storms, he looked for ways to escape it. 

Don't think he won't change on you sooner or later and don't accept responsibility for things beyond your control.  The blaming, minimizing, gas-lighting, and denial happens frequently in arguments with men in crisis and unfortunately some women are physically abused as well.  This is why mature woman will advise it is best to avoid the debates, get a life of your own, and do what makes you feel happy. 

Sometimes older people refuse to admit that there are personal and/or professional issues occurring in their lives as a result of the aging process.  Sometimes too focused on maintaining a youthful image and/or mindset, they fail to see the destruction they have left behind and just how out of touch they are with reality.  Guard your heart and your bank account, young woman when dating these men.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.

Wednesday

10 Devious Things Deceptive Mates will Do to Keep You from Knowing the Truth

You have been burdened lately with this indescribable feeling in the pit of your stomach. You suspect that your mate hasn’t been completely honest with you about a number of things. You have attempted to converse with him or her about what is troubling you and the individual hasn’t said or did anything to bring you any relief.

Many women and men have what relationship counselors might call an "intuition," sixth sense or gut feeling when something isn't quite right with their intimate connections. How do you know that your sensibilities are being compromised by your lover?

There are ten things that your deceptive mate might do over the course of your relationship that will keep you guessing when it comes to a variety of issues such as: money, employment, cheating, family, past relationships, and children from the past.  He or she already knows how you feel about any one of these areas, so to ensure that you will always see him or her in the best light, your lover will work hard not to expose you to his or her dark past, secrets, lies, or anything else that may harm his or her connection with you. So what exactly does this person say or do to try to throw your intuition off track?

1)  Deny everything. It seems that no matter what you say to him or her about an issue, there is the common statement of "I don’t remember, I don’t recall, that wasn’t me, I don’t believe...It didn't happen like that...I never did...or I don’t know." One will usually respond to his or her mate, by not asking anymore questions about the matter.  Meanwhile, he or she hopes you have forgotten about it.

2)  Blame others. When your mate doesn’t want to be held accountable for anything, he or she will say, "Maybe you are the one with the problem…She said it not me… I didn’t do it, he did it…you know how he is…you know she doesn’t like you…" Your mate wants you to shift your focus from him or her and put it on someone else. A great distraction is to blame someone you don’t like, this way you both will start focusing on the ex, child, pet, job, etc. rather than on your partner who is causing you the most grief.

3)  Cover up wrong doing with silence. You want your mate to address a problem or concern and he or she says nothing.  For example, the individual may have done something like scratch the side of the car, break your treasured collectible from childhood, spent too much of your money, did something without asking your permission, or acted in ways when you weren't around that he or she knew you would be angry about. Rather than fess up, this person acts as if nothing ever happened. When pressed about the issues, your partner might become offensive and accuse you of wanting to start an argument, walk away or deny everything.

4)  Make excuses. Ask your boyfriend or girlfriend why he or she was late or didn't answer his or her phone, "Did you have your cell phone turned on...Who was that in the car with you?  Were you really over your mother’s house?"  Your lover might stammer, stutter, get angry, look away from you or walk out. All of these behaviors are meant for him or her to buy some time to come up with an excuse. Some may already be prepared with a good story. If you aren’t convinced, check up on one's reasons.

5)  Lie. When your partner doesn't want to face your wrath, feel as if he or she is backed up in a corner, or just want to be spiteful, this person will not tell you the truth. Instead, he or she will make up a story that this person hopes you might believe.

6)  Find fault with you to digress from what they did or didn’t do. Ask your lover about a task that he or she said would be done or mention to your "Babe" that you noticed he or she hasn't bothered to spend time with you lately.  He or she might have a reason why, but by the end of the conversation, you will find that you are defending yourself for things he or she brings up to circumvent the fact that this person isn't doing his or her part in the relationship.

7)  Apologize. Someone told your lover that an apology goes far, so your "Sweetie" will attempt to make up for wrongdoing with a very nice "I’m sorry..." Meanwhile, you are still wondering if she (he) is being sincere and truthful. Actions speak louder than words, so observe how she (he) treats you afterward.

8)  Beg. When they feel that you are about ready to end the relationship, your lover may talk about the years invested, everything you two have done together, what he/she has done for you, etc. When it comes down to it, the beggar is just saying these things, because you caught him or her off guard when this person wasn’t ready to break up with you. In the future, watch what this person says and does, if no changes and things get worse, he or she may be preparing to break up with you.

9)  Cry. Tears are a good way to make you second-guess anything your partner says and does. He or she may be insincere.  Don’t let your quest to seek truth be suffocated with your lover's tears. Act emotional right along with him or her if need be.  Ask this person everything you have ever wanted to know. Frustrate him or her like a witness being questioned by an attorney, so that the truth will start spilling fourth.  At some point, your partner will give up some details that will make you think whether he or she was ever being honest--connect the dots. This is also a good time to provide your lover with any proof you might have. When the emotional dispute is all said and done, your nagging gut feeling may begin to diminish.

10)  Become controlling.  Your girlfriend or boyfriend didn’t want you to find out about personal secrets, the lies told or anything else that puts him or her in a negative light with you, so if the individual suspects that you may be considering on ending the relationship, then be prepared for him or her to act controlling. The idea of you being with someone else is too much for this person to accept when he or she isn't ready to move on.  Your lover will start wanting to keep up with you more than ever before, he or she will become very interested in what you are thinking, where you are going and who are you going with.  Most of all, your mate will try to control the way you should be feeling about him or her by attempting to make you feel like everything you think, do, feel or say is wrong.
There are tricky men and women online and offline and they will not hesitate to use and abuse those who they think are na├»ve and gullible.  Stay one step ahead and take your time before adding a lover to your bank account, letting him or her drive your car, cohabitate, get engaged or married to someone.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books

Saturday

Prostitution is Illegal - Whatever the Name or Game - There will be Problems

Just a friendly reminder if a young lady offers a sexual service for a price and the man pays for it, she is considered a prostitute.  In America, the act is illegal and unfortunately far too many people have gone to jail for soliciting sex.  Learn more by clicking on the following websites:

Prostitution | Definition of prostitution by...

Sacred prostitution - Wikipedia, the free...

Prostitution Statistics - Sex Crimes | Laws.com

Be smart, stay safe.

 

Thursday

What the Young Woman Doesn't Think About When Having a Baby with an Older Man

There are issues that many age gap couples are aware of prior to a pregnancy and during the process when it comes to having a baby.  A doctor will advise the expectant couples of the increase medical risks.  A young woman with an older man might have more appointments than other expectant moms due to the age difference. 

After baby is born, there just might be some unexpected issues especially if the mature gentleman's parents and siblings are much older and his family is large.  One's baby might not be treated like others who were born many years prior, because folks are simply too old and weary to care for a demanding newborn who later turns into a very active two year old, an inquisitive four year old, and so on.  Depending on the type of families, they may welcome the couple's new addition or not--especially if they were unsupportive about their older relative dating a younger woman or vice versa in the first place.

The family support might not be there, but the love must be strong enough to withstand the emotional roller coaster ride during and after the pregnancy.  Some older men just don't have the tolerance level for the drama.  Others have "been there and done that" so many times with other women that pregnancy and delivery just isn't special to them anymore.  Then there are those older gentlemen who are quite excited about becoming fathers to the point that they practically snatch the sonogram photos out of the hands of their younger partners.

Money may or may not be an issue for the older man when it comes to getting the necessary care for the young lady and their newborn.  But it might be a challenge gradually, because she may not be planning to return to work.  However, if she does, there is childcare to consider.  Typical expenses like baby food, diapers, and other needed supplies will drain one's bank account.  Other expenses will arise like medicines, medical bills, insurance, holiday events, and more, so if one is ill-prepared the relationship will experience the strain.  Days off of work is necessary to assist the new mother with the child.

Age gap relationships may weather the pregnancy and delivery challenges, but sometimes they don't.  A man in mid-life is more interested in winding down and relaxing on most days, but this changes when the couple is expecting.  A young lady may have thought she could keep up the pace at work and continue to do other things she loves, but the arrival of a baby is definitely a game-changer mentally and physically.

Although a relationship might feel quite nice, safe and secure, recognize all the factors that come into play once someone says, "I want to have a baby." Are you really ready for that?  If not, protect yourself.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.

Thursday

Young and So Dumb - What Some Selfish, Older Men Really Think of Women

Some mature men just don't think highly of women their own age much less young ladies.  They can be hateful, angry, and rude toward women.  As far as they are concerned they are good for periodic sex, a hot meal, money, and not much else.  A 30 plus year old man who claims that he wants to settle down with a young woman who is 18 is definitely something to think twice about. She doesn't have much material wealth especially if she is still living with parents.  Her life experience can't be compared to a man who is 10, 15 or even 20 plus years older than she.  She is still learning and growing when it comes to life issues.  The older man may have a daughter or son not that much younger who might still need to be parented.  It is safe to say that the older man is most likely going through a personal crisis and what a nice distraction from his personal problems when he meets a bubbly, sweet young lady.

Of course, the mature man will attempt to persuade the young lady that he isn't having any midlife issues and that he knows what he wants.  But the truth is, if you take a look at the gentleman's relationship history, how many other women did he claim to love, want, need, like?  Notice what he says about the relationship endings and whether he is mainly blaming his exes and in-laws. 

Some older men just love the idea of being with new sexual partners more so than settling down with them--no matter the age.  But if a single or unavailable man wants to put his potential young lover at ease, he is going to say the kinds of things that will make her feel secure and safe with him.

"You are so pretty.  I love that scent you are wearing.  Would you like for me to buy you some more?  I'm not the kind of guy who plays games, I know what I want, so will you give it to me?  What would you think of being my wife one day?" The man who says these things obviously wants the young woman to feel special and consider keeping him around even though he isn't considering anything long-term or serious and may have told her so.  The mature man is well aware that there are younger men who would very much like to date the young apple of his eye; therefore, he has to say whatever he can to keep her interested in him. 

Some men laugh with the guys about the things they have said and done to win the trust of their young lovers.  They enjoy the "dumb" act that some women play, but what they don't know is that there are those who are sincerely acting.  When the time is right, those women will reveal their true selves and most likely the men won't like them so much.  Then there are those young ladies who really are unintelligent and immature and so a lot of older men don't mind making them notches on their belts and then moving on.  Sad, but true.  These manipulative men will photograph or video record some of these young, obedient women and collect their images like hunters hanging up the heads of their prey on walls.  With social media, online and offline albums, you never know just how many women have fallen prey to an older man's fantasies.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.

Saturday

Crazy, Weird, Silly - Don't Settle for Someone You Don't Really Want

When I was younger if a man had a funny looking face, an annoying flaw like a bizarre laugh, or something else I didn't like, I simply didn't make him The Guy.  You know that special one in your life you want to roll around in the bed with or the guy you take home to parents.  As I grew older, I created additional standards for myself and didn't care whether he had a great sports car, a huge home, and a large bank roll, if he wasn't my type, I wasn't letting him see my legs, much less my boobs.

Seriously my friends, stop the settling and this goes for the mature men too.  You want a 10, but yet you go out with a five?  Sooner or later that "okay" looking young lady is going to know you just don't like her much.  What about the smart gal who looks great, but you don't approach her because of whatever insecurities you are grappling with?  So what if she says, "No, I have a boyfriend already."  There are others, many others, who will give you a little bit of this and that if you are honest.

Crazy, weird and silly people are everywhere on and off the Internet and if you don't consider yourself to be one of the three, then why get involved with odd folks?  I don't care how fine the hair, eye color, height, body type is, if I don't want him--I don't want him!  This is a major issue with many singles, divorced, and even unavailable men and women, they either can't connect with good-looking people with a brain between their ears or they settle for what is convenient, nearby, easy, cheap, affordable, etc.  Some daters treat online dating like shopping at Walmart.  "Did the price drop yet...? Oh wow, two for one special.  Is the meat fresh or is it expired?  Where's my coupon?  The store is right by my house.  Is it Black Friday?"  Now for some it just might be "black" Friday, but I digress.  And for others, they are serious about the quality of meat they choose too...anyway, people have feelings, I repeat, people have feelings and there is more to them than their dating preferences, location and age.

So the next time you come across some individuals that really don't impress you, no matter how eager they are to try you like you are a tasty sample at the local Cosco or Sam's Club, politely move on.  Chances are they just want whatever you are putting out anyway--nothing more, nothing less.  But if you want a little more than a one time experience, then be prepared to put your work in and don't settle!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and other books. 

Wednesday

Married, Children and Work - When the Mature Man Just Wants Fun

I didn't know at 20 years old when the older gentleman approached me that he had a wife, children, and other responsibilities until I walked into his office and noticed the photo behind him.  We weren't at his workplace to talk business, we were planning a date.  I had no conscious, compassion or anything about marriage, children or anything related, because I just thought, "He's cute for an older guy."

You would have thought that at the moment I saw the photograph I would have backed off, politely excused myself and moved on, but I didn't.  He noticed I was checking out the family photo, so he took it off the shelf and talked about what appeared to be a happy group.  Since he had been out of state for months, he missed them, but he also wanted to have a good time.

I didn't give the man any sex, despite his alluding to it, but what I did give him was laughter.  The smile that came on his face as we strolled a park was priceless!  The 40 plus year old was enjoying the company of a 20 year old and neither one of us even bothered to talk about age.

Of course, my conscious began to catch up with me a few days later.  I started to think, "What if I was his wife in that photo?  And he has children...What if my dad was like that?"  Cold chills came over me.  The gentleman called me again requesting I hang out with him, but I politely declined.

Fast forward to present day, over 20 years later I now have a family of my own and I recognize that sometimes life can get quite boring.  I realized that there are men and women who just get tired of partners, children, and work--I have been there.  But we have choices and there are consequences to every decision we make.

I have observed and listened to men who just felt trapped in marriages, jobs and more.  Their loveless relationships produced children that they really didn't want.  They worked jobs they hated.  Their spouses were giving them a hard time about looking externally for happiness.  But sometimes you ask yourself, "When is it my turn to live a little?"  I personally think there is nothing wrong with wanting to do some things you always wanted to do with your life within reason.  Does it have to be about flings, fast cars and other typical things that midlife men in crisis desire?

I think there is far too much programming out there to subliminally lure married men as well as the committed retired to do the unthinkable because there is a lot of money to gain from this group who have spent decades saving money and want any excuse to dip in their investments.  Sports cars are pricey, juggling more than one woman will result in increase revenue for entertainment spots, travel, and also a trip to divorce court, and more. 

Women who enable the men who want some "fun" will also pay sooner or later mentally, spiritually and physically (because hot looks do go away especially when there's lots of relationship stress and yes, I was cheated on in the past).  The married man tired of his current family may end up with yet another family that makes him even more miserable. 

Being idle, creating fantasies in one's mind, and flirting with trouble will cause problems for all parties in one's quest to have a little fun.  Consider doing some productive things that will keep you out of trouble while appeasing the need within to live a little.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.   

Tuesday

It Isn't Always Business as Usual: Some Older Men are Kinky

He might look kind, sweet, youthful and harmless, but some mature gentlemen enjoy doing some things that cause discomfort, pain, and nightmares.  If you go along, just to get along Young Lady, you just mind find yourself needing therapy one day.

Let's face it some women are ill-equipped to handle some unique, interesting, painful and downright strange experiences sexual and otherwise and to expose them to such things might mentally break them down to the point that they are useless even to themselves.  Drugs, alcohol, and other things are used to lower one's inhibitions in many weird situations, but just how low does an individual want to go?  What might be the consequences if a young lady reaches a point of no return?  Will one be ready to face those issues and still sleep at night?

There are some aspects about dating that are just unexpected and if a young woman is in the dark about some things she will be frightened and possibly will get law enforcement and others involved.  This is why one needs to know a person well and if she is interested in doing some wild things then that is her choice, but she should never be talked or forced into doing things she just doesn't want to do.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.

Isolation: When the Older Man Doesn't Want His Young Woman Around Anyone But Him

He's out there, that nice guy who says in such a nice voice, "You are so pretty, I just want you all to myself."  This mature man knows exactly what he is doing when he subtly or quite boldly tells a young woman what he expects from her.  "I really enjoy your company, come around more often.  Whatever you need I can supply those things for you..."  Now if she isn't discerning, she will just laugh and dismiss what he says as unimportant.  The young lady assumes that her life is still her own--independent and free even with her gentleman suitor.  Little does she know, she will soon be entering a world where she will be repeatedly asked to shut off her phone off, stay with him, move away with him, etc.  Family, friends, co-workers and others are just not welcome.  Gradually the older man's critical voice will rise up and object to anyone or anything that interferes with his attempt at building an isolated world where it's just two and no more.

As she draws near to the man who "means the world to me," it will become increasingly difficult to reach the young woman, because his mind control will begin to take root.  Her voice mail will pick up, but she won't.  E-mails from acquaintances will go unopened.  She will become a stranger to friends.  Her family will begin to worry.  Meanwhile, the older, controlling man will have her right where he wants her with him and only him.

Isolation is a form of abuse.  Many mature, abusive men are either unaware of what they are doing, don't care or do care and systematically isolate their victims.  Persuading or forcing someone to stay in a room, a home, a car, etc. knowing full well she wants to see people and do things apart from you is deceptive, controlling and evil. 

Maybe the young female doesn't want to be bothered with her family and if that is the case, then her older gentleman friend might want to encourage her to at least write or call them just to let them know that everything is alright sometimes.  But some men are content with their partners staying away from relatives, co-workers, friends, and even children, because this means they will remain loyal to them.

If the young woman should rebel against her older mate's wishes and decide that she is going to see her loved ones, talk to male friends, shop alone, work late hours, or anything else that she wants to do, then there is a psychological hell he will put her through whether in gentle ways using sweet words and affection or harsh ones using threats and fists.  If loved ones should come around, these jealousy men will ignore partners and them, fight, or do things to make all parties feel unwelcome when visiting the couple's residence.  He doesn't want them showing up and he doesn't mind acting rude, critical and bitter around them either.  These controlling men might make their partners feel guilty when they want to go some where without them or if they should decline seeing their relatives.

A young woman who knows her partner is isolating her is going to act fearful when he does things that keep her close to him.  She isn't going to tell others what is happening, because she doesn't want to look bad or make others think negatively about a man she has bragged about or defended.  She also feels ashamed and angered about the way her mate acts when her loved ones are around.  So the young woman will distance herself from family and friends, put a limit on outside activities, or don't do much at all just so that she doesn't have to deal with her mean-spirited partner's bad-mouthing and tantrums as a result of her wanting to see loved ones, go places, etc.

You may be a victim, an abuser or know of someone in a relationship where isolation is ongoing.  Take a look at what is happening, bring attention to the problem and seek solutions.  It is not "okay, normal" or a loving thing to say and do things to keep a person isolated, nor should one abandon a friend who you know is in an abusive relationship.  Much of this isolation behavior derives from jealousy, insecurities, childhood issues, and being a victim possibly of abuse yourself.  Don't enable dysfunction, speak up, establish boundaries and if necessary end the relationship. 

Isolation Tactics an Abuser will Use

1.  Tells you what to do with your money or tells you not to work, so you will not be out and about.
2.  Causes friction between you and others due to negative words he says about them i.e.) He lies.
3.  Creates a list of things you are expected to do when interacting with others i.e.) "You only go places with me.  You are not permitted to talk to the opposite sex when I'm not around whether on or off the Internet..."
4.  Doesn't want people visiting the residence--makes all sorts of excuses.
5.  Doesn't want to visit your relatives and friends and would rather you don't go either.
6.  Suddenly comes up with "plans" to keep you from going places.
7.  Tells you some things like, "It's just me and you, we don't need anyone...We can stay at home, we don't need to go anywhere...All we need is each other...We can be all alone on an island--just you and I, Baby."
8.  Calls and checks up on you often and may even joke about you, "Staying put.  I hope you aren't going anywhere, you stay in your place, Woman."
9.  Complains, vents, yells, threatens or does things to keep you from leaving the home.
10.  Offers to do many things so that you are never in an atmosphere where you could possibly meet and talk to other men i.e.) shops for you, runs errands, fixes things, offers to go places with you, etc.

My Daughter Is Marrying An Older Man | Jeremy Kyle


Tuesday

Her Immaturity Wearing Off on You?

You didn't anticipate that the young woman's youthful spirit, energetic demeanor, and other interesting things about her would rub off on you.  But there are those immature sayings, silly expressions, and other annoying things that just don't compliment her well.  In addition, you catch yourself acting like her.

When you are set in your ways, mature, and know right from wrong, it can be troubling to look at yourself one day reverting back to a time in your life that you didn't find all that fun, smart, etc.  Young people can bring out the best or worst in you, so beware of those times that you are just not being "adult" about some things.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and other books.

Wednesday

Unattractive But Beautiful...His Words That Is

Oh the seductive sound of a male voice telling you how sweet, sexy and sophisticated you are, young woman!  It makes you feel good, doesn't it?  You love when he tells you how much he enjoys your company, how beautiful you are, how smart...you can't help but be in love with the sound of his inspirational words.  But you have a secret and your girlfriends know what it is, your mom might know, and your dad doesn't want to think about it.  The well-kept secret was your date is just not your type.  He is unattractive.

Now that your secret is out, what are you going to do about it?  I mean he sounds so charming.  He says things that no other man has ever told you.  He makes you feel like you are on top of the world.  You just never heard such wonderful things come out of one's mouth.  Oh, but...we know he's ugly.

This is why you just don't settle young ladies for any man no matter how sweet, adorable or kind he is--you just don't!  You don't make unattractive men think that you are into them, when you know you are not.  You are basically living a lie!  Sure those words these unattractive, older gentlemen say are beautiful, but when you walk with these men in public, who most women wouldn't even think of giving their time much less a second glance, you got to feel confident.  You can't be concerned about what people think of you, a gorgeous 10, with the fat old guy.  Instead, you have to motivate yourself to want to be with him despite his imperfections.  You have to remind yourself you have flaws too.  You tell yourself things like, "It's what's on the inside that matters...I will just have to overlook those things on his face I don't like.  His crooked teeth...big ears.  The fact he doesn't workout.  I have to remember he is older and one day I will be older..."  That's a lot of self-talk in order to maintain a relationship with someone you don't find attractive isn't it?

Save yourself all the mind manipulation and face the facts, you wouldn't give this man the time of day if it wasn't for those sweet things he says to you and his material wealth just might be an added benefit, right?  So if the sales pitch you give yourself becomes a burden and you just can't keep making yourself go out with him, use some beautiful words of your own and start making a slow departure.  It's for the best if looks are that important to you.  Besides think of your future offspring (sigh).  God bless 'em!

Nicholl McGuire

Sunday

Daddy Issues - Dating Older Men

As much as some of us women would like to avoid a certain topic about dating older men and the connection to our fatherless issues, it is a known fact.  Is there a void that we experience when fathers don't act like they care or want to come around us daughters?  Yes.  Do we feel like we can fill our voids with some attention from older partners?  At times.

When I look back at my dating experiences with older men, I have to shake my head.  Why didn't I see the signs?  Why didn't someone tell me that I was trying to keep myself from having to think about what was really hurting me on the inside?  It was an absent emotional bond with Dad.  He was often too tired to talk, too busy to visit, too angry to be good company, too this or too that! 

I took my frustration out on others.  I became angry, had moments in the past where I drank too much, shook my behind in the club (clothes on--thank God), made stupid decisions, etc.  I argued with my older dates about things they couldn't do for me; at times I hated them for not knowing how I felt. Some days I wished to be with men my own age while I tried to bottle up my tears and act mature, happy...what was going on back then?  A need to want to feel accepted by Dad I suppose.  I wanted to hear that I was okay, appreciated, wasn't ugly, and was going places in life without a "...but you need to...you better..."coming from Dad. 

You see, some of you dads might be wanting that connection to your daughters, but you just aren't getting it because you have no clue what to do and some of you daughters might want the same.  Dad might have thought he did his part when his daughter was younger, but can I tell you, it doesn't stop!  Communication is key to having quality relationships.  A runaway daughter sees her runaway mid-life father pre-occupied with someone, possibly younger than her, who makes him temporarily feel good.  Instead of working to heal a broken bond with his kin, he ignores her and vice versa.  The daughter might be grown, but she wants to know that Daddy loves her.  However, we have to face the truth that some men are incapable of love.  They aren't interested in loving anyone.  They are self-absorbed and see people as servants.  They use and abuse.  These toxic dads we have to grieve and let them go.

So if there is one thing I wanted to leave some of you readers with, is if you have a bond with a daughter maintain it and if you are a daughter stay cool with dad if you can.  Fathers can establish a healthy bond with their daughters by making a phone call sometimes, sending a card in the mail or flowers, or share a message via a loved one (if she isn't speaking to you) "Dad cares."

Nicholl McGuire is the author of the upcoming book, Say Goodbye to Dad.

Tariq Nasheed Older Women, Younger Women


Saturday

Declare Today is the Day that You are Free from Controlling Dates

Jealous, angry, bitter, resentful...you know how some controlling singles can be, so why deal with them when you don't have to?  Today is your day to be free from any man or woman who wants to make you feel bad about wanting to be selfish every now and again.  Do we have to be together all the time for every event?  Do we have to call or text whenever we change our location?  Do I have to stay away from my friends to be with you?  Are you serious?

Wake up!  You are being controlled.  Live your life!

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

Sunday

Dating Older Men - When He Thinks You Are Younger

He didn't think that you were in your thirties or was it your forties?  The mature gentleman, who absolutely loves young women, assumed you were in your 20s.  What a disappointment for this guy with such a strict preference?  You see, for some men, they will handle older women a bit different than they do younger ones--they won't.  They strongly believe that older women have much emotional baggage and they don't want to help in the least bit way with any of it.  If you play, young and dumb, you will see some of these older guys' games right before your eyes.  There are usually more young women where you came from and they spend time finding out which ones are going to meet their needs, pronto!

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I started graying in my 20s and felt the need to dye my hair.  I knew that if I let that gray hair show, men were going to think I was older than I was.  As I matured, I realized they needed to know I was not the silly young girl they thought I was, so I began to let that gray hair show.  There would be no more talking down to me, making stupid statements, and acting as if I was a lost puppy that needed a home.  Something as simple as letting my gray hair show sent a bold message to the ladies and gentlemen, I'm not whoever or whatever you thought I was.  Funny, how people treat you a bit more respectful when you look and act your age.

Now when you look younger--really young, some manipulative elders will take advantage.  They falsely assume you haven't had much life experience, you are ignorant to a lot of things, and they think having fun each day is one of your priorities.  They don't think of you as marriage material or baby-making.  You are a "friend" and that's about it.  Therefore, some older guys who have a bit of money, enjoy going to nice places, and treating their pretty young "things" will do some nice things for you until they grow weary of you or vice versa.  The rule of thumb:  look pretty and don't talk too much.  You start talking about the future, children, where he has been, who he knows, and wanting to meet his relatives, the older guy just might start to distance himself if he isn't sold out on your type.  Yes, he has "a type" and if you don't fit into that mold, he isn't thinking about any present or future. 

Now the "friend" relationship works when you don't care to be in a serious commitment with someone, but when feelings begin to grow, you want more.  But an older gentleman may not want to see you as anything more than whatever you agreed to be to him.

I learned quite a few life lessons when it comes to dating older men unfortunately the hard way.  Those lessons were the premise for starting this blog years ago.  I wanted young women as well as mature men to see the ups and downs when it comes to age gap dating and do it wisely.  I wanted people on the outside looking in to be informed and have a bit of compassion for these couples.  It isn't always easy.   Money, time, and energy is often lost in these partnerships because couples get swept away with "fun, different, new experience" that they don't realize just how many people they affect when they make poor choices in selecting mates.  Children from previous marriages lose respect for their parent(s).  Relatives shun or distance themselves from their young family members who refuse to listen to warnings.  Religious people judge these couples because they assume something unholy is going on (which it is sometimes especially when the older gentleman is still married).  Children are born into the new relationship wearing scarlet letters because some relatives believe they should have been born in wedlock.  Society frowns at the dirty old men who date women who are young enough to be daughters and nieces.  Sometimes children are born with health issues because there is such a wide age gap. 

When a mature man thinks a woman is younger than he thinks, he has a choice: he can either go ahead and date her and actually enjoy the experience of dating someone more mature then what he was hoping for or he can let the lady go in peace.  Too often people settle and later learn that they are unhappy.  If a young woman is misrepresenting herself or falsely advertising that she is younger than what she claims to be, this might backfire.  For some mature men, they are strict about the kind of young women they like to date and if the woman is not really twenty-something it might be an issue for some.  There are differences between age groups and not everyone can tolerate those differences.
So be sure, young lady, you are representing an accurate portrayal of who you are.  Consider this, a mature man who is adamant about your age, most likely will not change from his stance.  Your youthful appearance will eventually fade, especially after child-bearing, and he will no longer find you as attractive as he once did.  Sooner or later, he will find that comparable match who will be a lot younger than you.

Nicholl McGuire shares more dating tips at lovedatingadvice.blogspot.com

Wednesday

Young Woman: Think Before You Have Children with an Older Man

Not everyone who has children with an older partner is getting along well and the children are happy and healthy.  There are some things that you already know when it comes to having a baby with an older guy and then there are those unexpected issues that you least expect.

1.  The baby might have some health ailments.

It is inevitable, but some children do have their share of developmental problems because one or both parents are older.  Do your research before you start planning to have a baby with someone over a decade older than you.  Know what the risks are and find out what you can do to help alleviate some of the issues.

2.  The sex will not remain the same as it was when you first started dating.

For many starry-eyed couples, they have a false belief that everything will just continue to be sexy and fun for always.  They will talk of taking medicines to keep their sex lives active and come up with creative ways to enjoy love-making.  However, as you age, so does your mind and body.  There will be days even weeks, irregardless of your age, you just don't feel like it.  So add demanding newborns, whiny toddlers and rebellious teens to the mix and the gap widens since the last time you had sex.

3.  Sometimes impatience, moodiness, and tiredness will affect dreams of the happy family life.

If you thought that having a baby with your mature beau would bring you closer, think again.  Men and women who have had children already or just beginning to think about having them as mature adults, have a good idea what to expect.  Now how they endure through the whole child-rearing process is left up to speculation.  Some couples actually break up because they just can't handle themselves and their needy children.  The aging process isn't easy for some.  If one isn't happy within, he isn't going to give his all to yet another relationship and possibly more children--some divorced men have been there and done that and really don't want to do it again.  Young lady, do more watching what your older guy friend does and less listening to his charming speech about how you will make a great mom.  Will he really make a great dad?

4.  How old will you be and how old will he be when the child is in high school, college, etc.?

This question will pop up in your mind as you look at those around you who appear to be more active with their children while your partner not so much.  You will think of this question as your mate grows older.  You will start to wonder if he will be alive to see the children graduate, get married and have children of their own.

5.  The children will notice that dad is an old man.

As much as you say, "Age is nothing but a number" to yourself, the children will clearly see that their father isn't like you and those young dads they see.  They will ask questions, "Why can't dad do this...Why can't our father go there...Why is he always tired?  Why doesn't he do things like the other dads?"  Make all the excuses you want, the reality is he is older and you will most likely be the one running the children around to school activities, entertaining events, and more.

So just ponder deeply whether having a baby with an older man is really what you want to do.

Nicholl McGuire provides spiritual commentary on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

Saturday

Demography issue: The younger wife's curse

6 Tips on Detecting a Stupid Older Man - He Exists and Will Drive You Crazy

I know some niave, gullible, young women just don't want to believe that they could ever land a downright unintelligent, older man for a date.  But it happens and you best be watchful when it comes to some of these stupid so-called mature men.

1.  He claims he knows things that he really doesn't.

Quiz him on some things about life.  Listen to his answers.  Is he trying to impress you with ignorant slang?  Is he giving you complete answers?  Are you at a lost when trying to follow his conversation? Does he even know what he is talking about?

2.  He doesn't have much conversation and when he talks you almost want to laugh.

"Is that really all he has for me?" you think.  "I can't believe he asked me that question, is he stupid?"

3.  When you speak, he is looking all around, over your shoulder, or staring at you like some Weirdo?

You know you are attractive and intelligent.  Apparently, he not only can't make any healthy eye contact, but is he really listening to what you are saying?  Something is happening in that mind up there (sigh).

4.  He takes far too long to respond to your questions.  Deep thinking unnecessary.

Simple questions, simple answers.  So why does he take so long to answer?  How much time do you need to think about whether you like sprinkled cheese on pasta or not?  How long does it take to get one's mind started up to make conversation?

5.  He jokes and laughs way too much and nothing he or you says is really that funny.

"Okay, dude are you a retard?"

6.  He has nothing to show for all his hard work in life.

It isn't any wonder this guy is divorced twice, owns no property (his wives do), he wears tacky clothes, drives a beat up car (his wives have luxury automobiles), he rarely sees his children (wives don't trust him), etc.  Could it be that his past partners discovered he was stupid about women, money, chidlren, and men's fashion and kicked him to the curb?

So stupid is as stupid does.  When a man has a long pattern of making dumb life decisions, it is safe to say that he is a bit slow.  You will need to ask yourself, "Am I patient enough to deal with all the stupid stuff he will do if I continue to date him?"

There are many reasons why women his own age don't bother with them.  Young women sometimes ignore obvious red alert signs when it comes to dating; instead, they hope for the best.  This is a stupid move.  Check yourself on your intelligence level.  When you start seeing signs of stupidity, don't shake them off or reason them away.  Keep your eyes open for someone intelligent like you. Ponder this, that older man might be the father of your children one day.  Do you really want your children to perform badly in life?  

Nicholl McGuire

Thursday

When You Discover a Date Has a Girlfriend

The news can be disheartening; a man you like has a girlfriend. The heart aches; the breathing is heavy, and the desire to pay this man back for lying to you increases with each passing moment. But before one plans her next strategy, be grateful that you know. Now is the time to start thinking about what you can do to make yourself feel at peace once again.

First, take a moment to undo everything in your mind you thought you knew about the person you have been dating. He obviously liked you a lot because he lied about having a girlfriend. But that doesn’t mean, that he is still an honest, kind, sweetheart of a man. Instead, you have discovered he is a liar, not as nice as you originally thought and is selfish. The likelihood that he is going to treat you like he did his girlfriend in the future is probable. Once the newness of the relationship wears off with you, he will be out pretending to be single with someone else.

Second, confront this man on his lies, but not in a way that shows him you still care about him. You will need to cry your eyes out privately, have your grieving moment out of the way, before you get to the point that you can give him a cold stare and speak your truth. So what might you say? Express your feelings and tell him what you want to do i.e.) break up, date others, move on with your life, etc.

Third, make no apologies and keep feelings of guilt far away. It isn’t necessary to apologize for any emotional outburst, cursing, or anything else—you are angry and you have every right to feel this way. You were deceived by someone you trusted and you will need to share your disappointment with him and a supportive friend. But what you don’t want to do is make yourself so sick about the matter that you end up doing something so bad that you might go to jail.

Fourth, fight the temptation to stalk the man and his girlfriend. Although hurt feelings will make you think about doing some strange things, don’t feed into them. Even if the girlfriend is aware that you exist, she will have to go through her own personal trials too. She may or may not break up with him. Depending on how long they have been together, she just might stick it out with your date. So if the plan is to tell the girlfriend everything you know about her man, stop, it just might draw them closer.

Lastly, don’t be available to him sexually, physically, or any way that keeps you hanging on to him. Unfortunately, there are far too many people who enjoy using others to get their personal needs met. If the man suspects that you are still weak for him then he will take advantage of whatever you are willing to give him. So when he and his girlfriend have a fight, he might come to you for sex like he has always done. If he needs some money, wants to drive your car or stay at your home, he will boldly ask because he feels that now that you know he has a girlfriend, you will be okay with it. In time, you will grow weary of being used and will find yourself giving him an ultimatum.

Nicholl McGuire provides web content to individuals and businesses.  To learn more, visit http://nichollmcguiremedia.blogspot.com

Tuesday

Thanks for Stopping By! Tips Dating Older Men, Younger Women

When we have this desire to step out of our comfort zones and try something different, we don't always consider the possible consequences and disappointments of our actions, and sometimes we don't believe that there is anything wrong in what moves us. 

There are moments in our lives that we are simply tired of the way things have been and we seek change.  To be in an age gap relationship is something new and different for many.  But like with all relationships, it comes with it's share of challenges.  Some will like you, others won't.  Today you are in love, tomorrow not so much.  The past is behind you, the future might look bleak.  You get the point if you have been in a relationship with someone younger or older for some time now.

On this blog, there are many videos and articles that share insightful tips on May-December romances.  Some of the advice is humorous and other information quite serious.  Just as there are good people in this world, there are also bad ones.  It is up to all of us to be on the look out for the strange, abusive, crazy, and dangerous in our presence and then proceed to safeguard ourselves and loved ones.

I hope that you, who have already subscribed as well as those who are visiting Tips Dating Older Men, Younger Women, will be enlightened.  Thank you so much for your continued support.

Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Nicholl McGuire Media

Thursday

Over 24 and Considered "Too Old" for the Old Guy While He Let's Himself Go

Everyone is entitled to his or her dating preferences.  If you like them young and you are 50 plus so be it.  If you like them old and you are 20 plus, that's your prerogative.  But what isn't cool is when one is vicious about calling women, who are still relatively young, old when he (or she) is visually and physically old.  What nerve some have?  It's almost laughable to see someone who is out of shape, miserable, and often weary from a cozy office job talk about what women, younger than he, look like and how he only dates younger, sexy and beautiful women.

It's time for attractive women whether young or old to raise the bar!  Far too many ladies are settling for men who don't bother to keep themselves up.  They tolerate, not only an unattractive looking guy, but sometimes those who could barely take care of themselves financially much less a woman. Is it really hard to meet people in the dating world or is the Internet just too d*mn convenient to get hooked up with whoever whenever?

A woman whether over 24 or younger is still a human being that can be a good friend or your worst nightmare depending on how you treat her.  She can shower a mature man she is really into with much love and kindness as long as he respects her, but the day he doesn't, her personality changes and things are typically never the same. If the old guy insults his date with comments about how old she is, what she knows or doesn't know for her age, or makes comments about certain parts of her anatomy getting "older," he will eventually kiss that partner goodbye.  You can only get away with saying so much if you are fit yourself, attractive, and successful.  

Nicholl McGuire also contributes to Relationship and Dating Advice blog here.

Monday

Does Your Date Make Less Money than You?

The longer you date someone, the more you learn about him or her. You begin to find out things that aren't so flattering and you start to wonder whether you want to continue to date this person. One thing that can turn into a big issue later is when a date makes less money than you. Now sometimes this isn't a problem if he or she is good about managing what little he or she has. But when this person doesn't make much money, sooner or later low funds will affect you and your wallet.

Consider the many things one wants to do while dating. Most of these travel plans cost money. Does your date have a savings toward making any of his or her wishes a reality or is this person expecting you to foot the bills?

When it comes to eating out and at home, who is often putting out the money? Does this bother you? If it does and you have been hiding your feelings about it, you might want to start discussing your concerns before things get any more serious. If you started out paying most of the bills in the dating phase, know that your role most likely won’t change as the relationship gets older.

A man or woman who is use to being taken care of is usually attracted to people willing to meet his or her needs. What is your date’s history? Has his partners typically been older or younger? This is significant because chances are if you are older, he or she has some other underlying issues and being with someone mature makes him or her feel mentally and physically secure. Sometimes a date is thrown into a role he or she didn't plan on playing out i.e.) Sugar Daddy, Father, Sugar Momma, Mother.

You will know when the connection with a date is more about material wealth then it is about love when he or she does the following:
  1. The person never offers to pay for anything while you are out.
  2. He or she doesn't appear to love or even like you much, but when you pull out your wallet, there is much attention and affection thrown your way.
  3. You can’t have a conversation with him or her without it involving money or you assisting him or her in some way.
  4. Your date acts very needy, pouts, and does things that irritate you when it comes to purchases you have made with your money.
  5. The date doesn't bother to save any money and expects you to bail him or her out.
Once you see the truth, here’s what you will need to do:
  1. Scale back on the gift-giving.
  2. Don’t offer your date any financial assistance or service. Observe how he or she handles matters.
  3. Plan to attend events and travel, but ask for contributions from your date if he or she would want to go along. If the date doesn't help, go without him or her.

Life is too short to permit someone to take advantage of your kindness. Be sure that anyone you date whether they make less or more money is someone that sincerely loves you for you!

Nicholl McGuire shares more relationships tips here.
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