Former mature partners know better, young ladies don't have a clue. At first agreeing to date these men in crisis, who appear so charming, seems harmless for many single women until they spend time with them when they don't appear so attractive or behave so nicely.
Like the older women, these young women soon discover that something is very wrong with partners/lovers. They start feeling uncomfortable around these difficult men and contemplate breaking up with them. "What did I say? What did I do? Why is this guy so negative? What the f*ck is wrong with him!" a young lady might think. It isn't so much what you said or did to set him off that rattles the evil within, but it is how he feels at the moment a challenge arises. He may have been okay with something one day and then go ballistic the next. Welcome to the world of andropause/irritable male syndrome/low T.
If you have yet to read articles about male midlife on this site and others, then start diving in, you will be in for a treat or maybe a trick because you will feel like you have been duped once you get to know the irritable male.
Take heed young woman, there is more to a middle-aged man who is often moody and has what appears to be a decent past (somewhat normal not too bad,) and a satisfactory lifestyle. Despite his blessings, he nit-picks about them, complains about little things, and frequently finds fault with the people around him. Also, think twice before joining the bandwagon of blaming exes. A man in crisis may have had children with an ex he fell deeply in love with until his bodily changes took over. He might have been married for a long time, had a great career, interesting life experiences, etc. but all those things came to a halt when emotions started to change, so rather than weather life storms, he looked for ways to escape it.
Don't think he won't change on you sooner or later and don't accept responsibility for things beyond your control. The blaming, minimizing, gas-lighting, and denial happens frequently in arguments with men in crisis and unfortunately some women are physically abused as well. This is why mature woman will advise it is best to avoid the debates, get a life of your own, and do what makes you feel happy.
Sometimes older people refuse to admit that there are personal and/or professional issues occurring in their lives as a result of the aging process. Sometimes too focused on maintaining a youthful image and/or mindset, they fail to see the destruction they have left behind and just how out of touch they are with reality. Guard your heart and your bank account, young woman when dating these men.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.