Thursday

What the Young Woman Doesn't Think About When Having a Baby with an Older Man

There are issues that many age gap couples are aware of prior to a pregnancy and during the process when it comes to having a baby.  A doctor will advise the expectant couples of the increase medical risks.  A young woman with an older man might have more appointments than other expectant moms due to the age difference. 

After baby is born, there just might be some unexpected issues especially if the mature gentleman's parents and siblings are much older and his family is large.  One's baby might not be treated like others who were born many years prior, because folks are simply too old and weary to care for a demanding newborn who later turns into a very active two year old, an inquisitive four year old, and so on.  Depending on the type of families, they may welcome the couple's new addition or not--especially if they were unsupportive about their older relative dating a younger woman or vice versa in the first place.

The family support might not be there, but the love must be strong enough to withstand the emotional roller coaster ride during and after the pregnancy.  Some older men just don't have the tolerance level for the drama.  Others have "been there and done that" so many times with other women that pregnancy and delivery just isn't special to them anymore.  Then there are those older gentlemen who are quite excited about becoming fathers to the point that they practically snatch the sonogram photos out of the hands of their younger partners.

Money may or may not be an issue for the older man when it comes to getting the necessary care for the young lady and their newborn.  But it might be a challenge gradually, because she may not be planning to return to work.  However, if she does, there is childcare to consider.  Typical expenses like baby food, diapers, and other needed supplies will drain one's bank account.  Other expenses will arise like medicines, medical bills, insurance, holiday events, and more, so if one is ill-prepared the relationship will experience the strain.  Days off of work is necessary to assist the new mother with the child.

Age gap relationships may weather the pregnancy and delivery challenges, but sometimes they don't.  A man in mid-life is more interested in winding down and relaxing on most days, but this changes when the couple is expecting.  A young lady may have thought she could keep up the pace at work and continue to do other things she loves, but the arrival of a baby is definitely a game-changer mentally and physically.

Although a relationship might feel quite nice, safe and secure, recognize all the factors that come into play once someone says, "I want to have a baby." Are you really ready for that?  If not, protect yourself.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.

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