She is a sweetheart, young, vibrant, and enjoys keeping you company, but there is just one problem, she talks too much. From what she ate for breakfast to how often she visits her relatives, she always has a story that makes you feel like you are going to need to take a nap before you can concentrate on all that she has to say. The best thing you can do with your talkative girlfriend is...
1. Prepare her in advance for that future interruption you plan on using to get away and on with your day. Tell her before she starts talking, "I have XYZ time before ABC needs to be done, so tell me the story but if it goes too long, we will have to discuss part two next time."
2. Listen with eyes and ears. The more you look away, allow others to interrupt her talk with you, or tend to tasks without looking the least bit interested in what she has to say, she will keep talking and talking while making her story more interesting until she can get a rise out of you. Be attentive and only respond unless absolutely necessary, otherwise your young mate's conversation will get even more lengthy.
3. Remind her periodically during the conversation that you are listening by acknowledging her story-telling. "Yes, I hear what you are saying...really? What? And she did what?" Also, ask her if she would mind telling you the rest of the story after she explains a bit without cutting her off especially if you have reacted to what she has to say.
4. Avoid the temptation to cut her off when you haven't heard the whole story. A premature tip/advice/suggestion/criticism without knowing all the facts will possibly cause a debate which will only move her to talk more--most likely loudly and emotionally.
5. Never assume your lady friend is done talking just because she says, "Hold on for a minute I need to..."
6. Keep away from unnecessary jokes, name-calling, and other statements that don't add anything interesting to the conversation. The more you say something that has little to do with the subject matter, the more your young partner will feel like she has to explain herself. You do want her to stop talking, right?
Sometimes couples will assume that certain subject matter from previous conversations will result in an argument since the last time "she said this..." and "he said that" and on and on. However, give your young woman the benefit of the doubt simply by listening and not saying too much. Leave personal opinion out unless you feel as if she is attacking, misleading, manipulating, lying, or getting you to do something you don't want to do.
Remember, most couples end up with bad partnerships, because they simply are inattentive and lack understanding--listen before you speak, put yourself in your partner's shoes--would you want an intimate partner who is for or against you just because you talk long?
In closing, try hard not to complain about how often or long your date talks--consider it a nice that she finds you interesting enough to talk to. Find some good in conversing with your partner irregardless of how much time has passed. Part of bonding with someone is permitting her to be herself with little criticism about what she says, how she says it and how long she talks about whatever she says.
(For Christians reading this, ask God for some patience, understanding, and more love in your heart for your mate!)
Nicholl McGuire
Friday
Thursday
Men Dating Much-Younger Women: The Celebrity Edition (PHOTOS)
Celebs Dating Much-Younger Women an article located on Huffington Post in the Huff Post Celebrity section. Check it out!
Tuesday
The Inner Circle: A Certain Rich Man's Paradise
If you don't know anything about occult organizations, secret societies, or anything similar, then for some of you young single women, it's time for you to start researching, because you just might be tempted to be a part of something that you can't handle. The truly wealthy have connections to people, places and things that "the profane" simply aren't privy to.
A certain rich man's paradise, referring to the title of this work, describes any man who is able to mold, shape, and build up others in such a way that he controls the mind to do what he so desires. His inner circle are those associations he is connected to whether seen or unseen. A certain man meaning secret, rich (having wealth) and paradise (being able to have all his needs met--a heaven on earth to do as he wishes). Now how does a young woman fit in all of this? Well, she is nothing more than a vessel, sometimes willing, other times not so much. She parades her pretty, little self before men of influence in the hopes of having a typical rich girl's life only to find out there is more than meets the eye.
Now this rich man's inner circle is not one for righteous behaviors (at least behind closed doors). Sadistic men, sociopaths, criminals, whatever you would like to call immoral men who aren't much interested in the following like: chivalry (although the occasional door opening gesture will throw many off), respect, and a future with their play things. Rather, they are more concerned with acting out sick fantasies while hoping all willing or not-so willing will keep what happens in Vegas, so to speak, in Vegas.
Many of you who have experienced dating a man of influence saw the markings on his flesh, a statute or other symbol here and there such as: decorating his automobile, an interesting piece of artwork, and an odd keepsake at his home sitting on a table, wrapped around his finger, resting on his neck or elsewhere, but did you know what you were viewing? He may have shared some fascinating information about those relic, but then again, maybe not. Some of you may know a thing or two about a few rich men's secret lives, but don't really care, because what those wealthy members are giving you for the time being is all that really matters--that is until emotions get in the way and strange things start happening to you, now you care and hope that others will care too.
When your older man shook hands with certain individuals did you see anything strange? What about when you sat down with him at some function, did his conversation, more specifically a greeting, cause you to scratch your head? Once again meaningless to young women who want nothing more than to run away from home and live out their dreams on someone else's dime.
Sex, sex and more sex, it's unfortunate, but that's all many young "I hope to be a star one day" types are used for, because that is what they offer-- of course in the hopes that they will get a token for lying on their backs. We see evidence of one being used and abused when observing celebrities over a period of time (also think of reality show actors)--the symbols and signs say it all. But young, programmable women, that's right I said, programmable women are used in a rich man's inner circle for more than just sex. What makes them programmable? Hardship, resentment, bitterness, a need to escape reality, childhood abuse, and more.
Women who are talked into going places where the Average Joes and Janes don't frequent are told to do unspeakable things. You can learn more about this sort of behavior if you study mind control, beta sex kitten programming, sex slaves, etc. In time, a split mind and a split whatever else will be used in whatever way her master sees fit.
Now these things mentioned in this entry aren't for the weak-minded, the skeptical, or someone who has never sat down an interviewed a single individual who has been exposed to elitist groups/individuals/etc. But whatever you may or may not know is for you to ponder, question and hopefully keep yourself out of some trouble in the future--especially if you are a young woman thinking you can just date any old man, get what you want and be gone with the wind.
The "certain" rich man paid a price to either create an inner circle or be welcomed into it by others. He had to go through a series of tests, attend meetings, show he's loyal, trustworthy, and the like. The puppet will recruit others in the same way like a pimp on the street looking for a new hooker to add to the collection. The young woman unfamiliar with how the most wealthy of our land operate will walk into a trap if she isn't careful. Her new friends may look friendly, but at the end of the day not so much.
I recall a man who had been exposed to some elitists (whose occupations he didn't know since the group was secret), outside of America. He told me a story of having the privilege to be amongst a male witch and his coven. He described the scene, similar to the ritualistic scene he saw in the movie, "Eyes Wide Shut." I was taken aback. He had shared with me information about those of darkness. He went on to tell me that he followed the instructions of a god of darkness, he referred to as Lucifer, but also considered himself to be his own god. There were many who agreed with him in and out of the group, although some didn't participate in any rituals, their mannerisms and people connections said that they were definitely on board with dark supernatural influences that went beyond just meeting a young woman and "hooking up."
Some of you may be familiar with sexual abuse, sexual programming, and ritualistic abuse, you may have thought that what you heard or personally went through is a thing of the past. But as we speak, some nice looking young woman is making plans to meet someone online who has plans for her that go beyond just dinner and a movie. Of course, not all men are doing bizarre things when no one is looking, and besides, there really are some nice, wealthy men out there, I've met quite a few in my lifetime, but be wise anyway. Be aware of your surroundings, don't be quick to have sex, and avoid going to unfamiliar places.
Nicholl McGuire
A certain rich man's paradise, referring to the title of this work, describes any man who is able to mold, shape, and build up others in such a way that he controls the mind to do what he so desires. His inner circle are those associations he is connected to whether seen or unseen. A certain man meaning secret, rich (having wealth) and paradise (being able to have all his needs met--a heaven on earth to do as he wishes). Now how does a young woman fit in all of this? Well, she is nothing more than a vessel, sometimes willing, other times not so much. She parades her pretty, little self before men of influence in the hopes of having a typical rich girl's life only to find out there is more than meets the eye.
Now this rich man's inner circle is not one for righteous behaviors (at least behind closed doors). Sadistic men, sociopaths, criminals, whatever you would like to call immoral men who aren't much interested in the following like: chivalry (although the occasional door opening gesture will throw many off), respect, and a future with their play things. Rather, they are more concerned with acting out sick fantasies while hoping all willing or not-so willing will keep what happens in Vegas, so to speak, in Vegas.
Many of you who have experienced dating a man of influence saw the markings on his flesh, a statute or other symbol here and there such as: decorating his automobile, an interesting piece of artwork, and an odd keepsake at his home sitting on a table, wrapped around his finger, resting on his neck or elsewhere, but did you know what you were viewing? He may have shared some fascinating information about those relic, but then again, maybe not. Some of you may know a thing or two about a few rich men's secret lives, but don't really care, because what those wealthy members are giving you for the time being is all that really matters--that is until emotions get in the way and strange things start happening to you, now you care and hope that others will care too.
When your older man shook hands with certain individuals did you see anything strange? What about when you sat down with him at some function, did his conversation, more specifically a greeting, cause you to scratch your head? Once again meaningless to young women who want nothing more than to run away from home and live out their dreams on someone else's dime.
Sex, sex and more sex, it's unfortunate, but that's all many young "I hope to be a star one day" types are used for, because that is what they offer-- of course in the hopes that they will get a token for lying on their backs. We see evidence of one being used and abused when observing celebrities over a period of time (also think of reality show actors)--the symbols and signs say it all. But young, programmable women, that's right I said, programmable women are used in a rich man's inner circle for more than just sex. What makes them programmable? Hardship, resentment, bitterness, a need to escape reality, childhood abuse, and more.
Women who are talked into going places where the Average Joes and Janes don't frequent are told to do unspeakable things. You can learn more about this sort of behavior if you study mind control, beta sex kitten programming, sex slaves, etc. In time, a split mind and a split whatever else will be used in whatever way her master sees fit.
Now these things mentioned in this entry aren't for the weak-minded, the skeptical, or someone who has never sat down an interviewed a single individual who has been exposed to elitist groups/individuals/etc. But whatever you may or may not know is for you to ponder, question and hopefully keep yourself out of some trouble in the future--especially if you are a young woman thinking you can just date any old man, get what you want and be gone with the wind.
The "certain" rich man paid a price to either create an inner circle or be welcomed into it by others. He had to go through a series of tests, attend meetings, show he's loyal, trustworthy, and the like. The puppet will recruit others in the same way like a pimp on the street looking for a new hooker to add to the collection. The young woman unfamiliar with how the most wealthy of our land operate will walk into a trap if she isn't careful. Her new friends may look friendly, but at the end of the day not so much.
I recall a man who had been exposed to some elitists (whose occupations he didn't know since the group was secret), outside of America. He told me a story of having the privilege to be amongst a male witch and his coven. He described the scene, similar to the ritualistic scene he saw in the movie, "Eyes Wide Shut." I was taken aback. He had shared with me information about those of darkness. He went on to tell me that he followed the instructions of a god of darkness, he referred to as Lucifer, but also considered himself to be his own god. There were many who agreed with him in and out of the group, although some didn't participate in any rituals, their mannerisms and people connections said that they were definitely on board with dark supernatural influences that went beyond just meeting a young woman and "hooking up."
Some of you may be familiar with sexual abuse, sexual programming, and ritualistic abuse, you may have thought that what you heard or personally went through is a thing of the past. But as we speak, some nice looking young woman is making plans to meet someone online who has plans for her that go beyond just dinner and a movie. Of course, not all men are doing bizarre things when no one is looking, and besides, there really are some nice, wealthy men out there, I've met quite a few in my lifetime, but be wise anyway. Be aware of your surroundings, don't be quick to have sex, and avoid going to unfamiliar places.
Nicholl McGuire
Sunday
Young Woman: Are You Bargain Basement Sugar Baby or Big Buy Sugar Baby?
If you desire to be with a rich man, you might want to learn more about yourself and what you really want to do with your life to avoid being manipulated, but if you are already labeled a Sugar Baby then someone may have already conned you a time or two while you walked away from these men empty-handed. Rich men can be controlling and they can also easily put you in a category based on how you talk, walk and of course, shop around them. So which are you? A Bargain Basement Baby or a Big Buy Baby, Sugar?
Bargain Basement Sugar Baby
She might be thrifty when it comes to buying herself things out of her own money, but spend a bit more when using someone else's--does that describe you? She is not big on the name brand items, but may purchase a few high ticket items on sale every now and then. She is so grateful that a rich man cares about her that her way of showing her appreciation is to save him money. Meanwhile, she doesn't think about all of the things she may have done for him already like help with his business, have sex with him, give him companionship, etc. So while she keeps putting out whatever he wants, he rations his money. He could have given Bargain Basement Baby more, but she seems content with whatever he gives, so he has gotten the young niave woman for a bargain basement discount or a steal--depending on how desperate she is to be pampered.
Big Buy Sugar Baby
She has big bills and needs plenty of money to pay off those bills. She finds a way to get a lot for a little. She may purchase a big ticket item only to return it so she can get more money. She may ask for money from more than one partner, because she has learned, probably the hard way, that a single man just can't meet her needs with a few hundred dollar bills here and there. Big Buy Baby doesn't care too much about the future, because she is too busy putting out sex, service, or other things her rich man requests. The rich man knows that the more he wants from a pretty young woman, the more he will have to buy her. There are no discounts with Big Buy Sugar Baby.
These are only two character descriptions of many Sugar Babies that are going about our world at times careless and rebellious. Caring relatives and friends say, "Be careful. You know you don't have to do that..." But the Sugar Babies believe that what they are doing is morally okay. They see nothing wrong with a man caring for them in this way and don't believe they are prostituting themselves.
These young women want memories and money. They want to see the world, live a quality life, and not worry over how this bill and that one is going to get paid. Traditionally most of us sought men or women that we thought were a good match for us. We spent money during the dating phase, more money during the engagement, and much money once married. No one stopped many of us to say, "Why are you taking advantage of him...her...why aren't you working? Are you giving him sex? Does he have other women?" But things happen that look similar to a rich older man and sugar baby relationship. Jim finds a young woman while married to Amy, now he has to buy them both to keep their mouths shut.
What makes these young women and older men dating one another wrong in what they do to some critics is that they have no shame and they aren't interested in a committed relationship. If you put rings on the two and they vowed to love one another, no one would say too much of anything except, "Look at that old man with that baby?" As one woman told me, "To each his own."
Nicholl McGuire
Bargain Basement Sugar Baby
She might be thrifty when it comes to buying herself things out of her own money, but spend a bit more when using someone else's--does that describe you? She is not big on the name brand items, but may purchase a few high ticket items on sale every now and then. She is so grateful that a rich man cares about her that her way of showing her appreciation is to save him money. Meanwhile, she doesn't think about all of the things she may have done for him already like help with his business, have sex with him, give him companionship, etc. So while she keeps putting out whatever he wants, he rations his money. He could have given Bargain Basement Baby more, but she seems content with whatever he gives, so he has gotten the young niave woman for a bargain basement discount or a steal--depending on how desperate she is to be pampered.
Big Buy Sugar Baby
She has big bills and needs plenty of money to pay off those bills. She finds a way to get a lot for a little. She may purchase a big ticket item only to return it so she can get more money. She may ask for money from more than one partner, because she has learned, probably the hard way, that a single man just can't meet her needs with a few hundred dollar bills here and there. Big Buy Baby doesn't care too much about the future, because she is too busy putting out sex, service, or other things her rich man requests. The rich man knows that the more he wants from a pretty young woman, the more he will have to buy her. There are no discounts with Big Buy Sugar Baby.
These are only two character descriptions of many Sugar Babies that are going about our world at times careless and rebellious. Caring relatives and friends say, "Be careful. You know you don't have to do that..." But the Sugar Babies believe that what they are doing is morally okay. They see nothing wrong with a man caring for them in this way and don't believe they are prostituting themselves.
These young women want memories and money. They want to see the world, live a quality life, and not worry over how this bill and that one is going to get paid. Traditionally most of us sought men or women that we thought were a good match for us. We spent money during the dating phase, more money during the engagement, and much money once married. No one stopped many of us to say, "Why are you taking advantage of him...her...why aren't you working? Are you giving him sex? Does he have other women?" But things happen that look similar to a rich older man and sugar baby relationship. Jim finds a young woman while married to Amy, now he has to buy them both to keep their mouths shut.
What makes these young women and older men dating one another wrong in what they do to some critics is that they have no shame and they aren't interested in a committed relationship. If you put rings on the two and they vowed to love one another, no one would say too much of anything except, "Look at that old man with that baby?" As one woman told me, "To each his own."
Nicholl McGuire
Rich Man: Is Your Young Partner Friend or Foe?
When we are in relationships we are vulnerable--suceptible to being hurt, so we try real hard to avoid pain by ignoring all signs that might upset us when dating others. We don't see things that others outside of our relationship see. We think we know something about that person we love when in all actuality we may not. Some partners are troubled, procrastinators, mamipulators, and just plain rude. A rich man who is desperate to be with someone who loves him for him and not so much for what he has, is going to want to know whether his possible spouse one day will be his best friend or worse foe. Relatives and friends in the rich man's inner circle might alert him to things regarding his choice in a mate. But what should the mature man be looking out for when it comes to partnering with a young woman?
Can I trust her?
He may put her through some tests. He may leave his wallet out on purpose with a wad of cash sticking out to see if she will steal it. He may tell her information that he knows isn't confidential but he will act like it just to see if she will go back and tell others about it. Can he trust his potential mate? After a series of tests, she just might pass, but he isn't completely convinced just yet.
Does she love me?
Does she really love him like she claims? There may be many young women that a rich man can choose from, but can he love that One who may one day be the mother of his children. Is her love sincerely for him or for his lifestyle or both? The rich man may also want to know if the young woman loves people or can at least get along with them. If she is often in conflict with people and is hard to comprehend when she talks about love, the mature man may determine that the young woman may have a heart as cold as ice and will no longer bother with her. No man wants to keep hearing stories about how a woman hates this and hates that.
Is she independent ?
During the dating phase, the rich man will want to find out exactly how much time and money he will have to invest in this woman to keep him and her happy, but he doesn't want to do everything for her. Is she the independent type? If the young woman shows signs that she wants to learn more about something she enjoys, start a business, attend college, get a great job, and more, then the rich man may not have to worry over his future mate wanting to live exclusively off his wealth.
Is she mentally stable?
Not every young, nice-looking woman has it altogether in her mind. Mentally disturbed women can be a challenge to live with--just ask anyone who has had to care for a medicated spouse or one whose mind is leaving him or her. The insane woman will mess things up like the household, finances, friendships, business partnerships--you name it! Sometimes a man can tell whether a woman is crazy or going crazy simply by the way she walks, talks and dresses, but there are those women that one can't see right away whether they are stable or unstable. Therefore, if the rich man is wise, he will observe her for a time while asking personal questions that will cause the young woman to critically think about her life, current events, relationship, future, etc. The wise rich man will ponder on her answers to determine whether this woman is in fact someone he can stand coversing with at great length. He will also meet her family and study them for signs of instability while listening to any stories that sound crazy. There is an old adage that goes something like this, "The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree." Keep that in mind!
Now there are other things that intelligent rich men will seek in a young woman who they wouldn't mind carrying on their arms such as: who she knows, where she works and how long has she been there, is she responsible, and does she have a faith, great support system, education, etc. If a woman is all show but no go, a rich man will end any partnership with her as soon as possible (for instance, like stop calling her) because the less she knows about him the better. He doesn't want to risk his reputation connecting with an insane, insecure, dependent, unloving, pretty woman.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and other books.
Can I trust her?
He may put her through some tests. He may leave his wallet out on purpose with a wad of cash sticking out to see if she will steal it. He may tell her information that he knows isn't confidential but he will act like it just to see if she will go back and tell others about it. Can he trust his potential mate? After a series of tests, she just might pass, but he isn't completely convinced just yet.
Does she love me?
Does she really love him like she claims? There may be many young women that a rich man can choose from, but can he love that One who may one day be the mother of his children. Is her love sincerely for him or for his lifestyle or both? The rich man may also want to know if the young woman loves people or can at least get along with them. If she is often in conflict with people and is hard to comprehend when she talks about love, the mature man may determine that the young woman may have a heart as cold as ice and will no longer bother with her. No man wants to keep hearing stories about how a woman hates this and hates that.
Is she independent ?
During the dating phase, the rich man will want to find out exactly how much time and money he will have to invest in this woman to keep him and her happy, but he doesn't want to do everything for her. Is she the independent type? If the young woman shows signs that she wants to learn more about something she enjoys, start a business, attend college, get a great job, and more, then the rich man may not have to worry over his future mate wanting to live exclusively off his wealth.
Is she mentally stable?
Not every young, nice-looking woman has it altogether in her mind. Mentally disturbed women can be a challenge to live with--just ask anyone who has had to care for a medicated spouse or one whose mind is leaving him or her. The insane woman will mess things up like the household, finances, friendships, business partnerships--you name it! Sometimes a man can tell whether a woman is crazy or going crazy simply by the way she walks, talks and dresses, but there are those women that one can't see right away whether they are stable or unstable. Therefore, if the rich man is wise, he will observe her for a time while asking personal questions that will cause the young woman to critically think about her life, current events, relationship, future, etc. The wise rich man will ponder on her answers to determine whether this woman is in fact someone he can stand coversing with at great length. He will also meet her family and study them for signs of instability while listening to any stories that sound crazy. There is an old adage that goes something like this, "The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree." Keep that in mind!
Now there are other things that intelligent rich men will seek in a young woman who they wouldn't mind carrying on their arms such as: who she knows, where she works and how long has she been there, is she responsible, and does she have a faith, great support system, education, etc. If a woman is all show but no go, a rich man will end any partnership with her as soon as possible (for instance, like stop calling her) because the less she knows about him the better. He doesn't want to risk his reputation connecting with an insane, insecure, dependent, unloving, pretty woman.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and other books.
Thursday
When She Loses Interest in the Rich Older Man
From calling him names during an argument to having fits in public about what her rich older boyfriend does and doesn't do for her, the young woman appears to lack common sense and self-control when in a relationship with a rich older man. But does she have good reason to act so ugly? Maybe not, but this young woman in the example is definitely losing interest and respect for her older partner, but why?
He doesn't keep up his appearance or health.
When they first started dating, both appeared very attractive to one another, but over time people get comfortable with one another, and before long they let themselves go. The younger woman starts seeing those signs of aging up close and personal on her partner and starts to think about things that aren't positive or uplifting especially if he isn't a very nice person to her. In time, her disappointments start coming out in her conversation sometimes as suggestions and other times as insults. "Why can't you take Viagra, old man! Why do I put up with you when I can get a younger guy who looks far better? Why talk about me and what I do, what about you?" A disgruntled young woman who isn't happy with her partner can be verbally abusive to the point where an older man will want to do some things to her that he might regret. Save yourself future arguments, take care of mind, body and spirit on a daily basis! The truth hurts, so if an older man chooses to date a younger woman he has to work harder on his appearance a little more than he would if he were with a woman his own age.
He was no different than an unwise, irresponsible young man.
Most younger women who date older men do it because they want to try something different, heard some good things about dating older men, and just naturally want someone older for any number of reasons. Women in their 20s know that many men in their age group are immature, not knowledgeable when it comes to making a woman happy, and have no short or long term goals for career, family, lifestyle, and more. Oftentimes, young men are given the pass, so to speak, for their lack of wealth and foolish behaviors. But a mature man is held up to higher standards by both young and older women as well as observant males in his girlfriend's family, because "he should know better...he has lived on this earth long enough...he should have made something with his life at his age," some say. When an older man has dropped the ball when it comes to caring for his young partner and seeing to it that she wants for nothing, the young woman becomes difficult to converse or live with leaving the rich older man feeling frustrated and ready to end the relationship.
He has too many responsibilities and little time for her.
From phone calls to meetings, the rich older man is always needed by someone or some group. When he spends more time talking to people outside the home than in the home, he will not be able to keep a young, active woman around. She will grow weary of having to adjust her schedule because of his "prior engagements." The woman will start acting insecure and jealous when she sees her man here, there and everywhere with other attractive young and older women. Some young women need to be tended to because they don't have quite enough experience being alone and dependent on self. So she will battle for your attention if you aren't giving her any in more ways than just walking around without any panties on.
He says one thing, but does another.
Most women in relationships stay with their partners because somewhere down the line, their men promised them something. But when a man doesn't follow through with his promises, there will be hell to pay sooner or later. "So you said you wanted to marry me, why didn't you? You said you wanted children, why haven't we had any? You said that you would take me to Hawaii, why not? You told me that you would introduce me to your family, why don't you bring me around them?" If one ignores a disgruntled young woman's questions, makes excuses, or gets angry about what she is asking, then expect her to be unhappy, a nag, and ready to rid herself of someone who can't keep his promises.
Before dating any young woman, understand that they are no different than an older woman when it comes to losing interest in you. A sweet woman can become sour quickly when you expect her to do things that you know you aren't doing. So keep your appearance and health up to par, act mature, balance your time between job and relationship, and most of all keep your promises!
Nicholl McGuire
He doesn't keep up his appearance or health.
When they first started dating, both appeared very attractive to one another, but over time people get comfortable with one another, and before long they let themselves go. The younger woman starts seeing those signs of aging up close and personal on her partner and starts to think about things that aren't positive or uplifting especially if he isn't a very nice person to her. In time, her disappointments start coming out in her conversation sometimes as suggestions and other times as insults. "Why can't you take Viagra, old man! Why do I put up with you when I can get a younger guy who looks far better? Why talk about me and what I do, what about you?" A disgruntled young woman who isn't happy with her partner can be verbally abusive to the point where an older man will want to do some things to her that he might regret. Save yourself future arguments, take care of mind, body and spirit on a daily basis! The truth hurts, so if an older man chooses to date a younger woman he has to work harder on his appearance a little more than he would if he were with a woman his own age.
He was no different than an unwise, irresponsible young man.
Most younger women who date older men do it because they want to try something different, heard some good things about dating older men, and just naturally want someone older for any number of reasons. Women in their 20s know that many men in their age group are immature, not knowledgeable when it comes to making a woman happy, and have no short or long term goals for career, family, lifestyle, and more. Oftentimes, young men are given the pass, so to speak, for their lack of wealth and foolish behaviors. But a mature man is held up to higher standards by both young and older women as well as observant males in his girlfriend's family, because "he should know better...he has lived on this earth long enough...he should have made something with his life at his age," some say. When an older man has dropped the ball when it comes to caring for his young partner and seeing to it that she wants for nothing, the young woman becomes difficult to converse or live with leaving the rich older man feeling frustrated and ready to end the relationship.
He has too many responsibilities and little time for her.
From phone calls to meetings, the rich older man is always needed by someone or some group. When he spends more time talking to people outside the home than in the home, he will not be able to keep a young, active woman around. She will grow weary of having to adjust her schedule because of his "prior engagements." The woman will start acting insecure and jealous when she sees her man here, there and everywhere with other attractive young and older women. Some young women need to be tended to because they don't have quite enough experience being alone and dependent on self. So she will battle for your attention if you aren't giving her any in more ways than just walking around without any panties on.
He says one thing, but does another.
Most women in relationships stay with their partners because somewhere down the line, their men promised them something. But when a man doesn't follow through with his promises, there will be hell to pay sooner or later. "So you said you wanted to marry me, why didn't you? You said you wanted children, why haven't we had any? You said that you would take me to Hawaii, why not? You told me that you would introduce me to your family, why don't you bring me around them?" If one ignores a disgruntled young woman's questions, makes excuses, or gets angry about what she is asking, then expect her to be unhappy, a nag, and ready to rid herself of someone who can't keep his promises.
Before dating any young woman, understand that they are no different than an older woman when it comes to losing interest in you. A sweet woman can become sour quickly when you expect her to do things that you know you aren't doing. So keep your appearance and health up to par, act mature, balance your time between job and relationship, and most of all keep your promises!
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday
Things that Some Older Men Say to Get a Pretty Young Thing to Come and Talk to Them
1. Hey, you did the right thing putting that umbrella up, because sugar melts. Keep smiling, baby! -- older gentleman passing by just had to say something.
2. Hmm, mmm, (whistle).--
older gentleman who was at a lost for words.
3. Hello. What's your name?--a normal older man who couldn't think of anything creative to say.
4. How are you doing? Do you need help with something? I can help you with anything you need.--
a desperate old man who needed either money, sex or both.
5. You have a nice smile, come on over here and talk with me awhile.
6. Do you need a lift?-- an older man who might not be as nice as he looked.
7. Let me help you with that.--a typical move to get close to a young woman.
8. Do I know you from somewhere?--he knew he didn't know me, but he got me to speak.
9. Have I seen you here before?
10. You seem to be lost Dorothy...you are a long way from Kansas City. (Wizard of the Oz character reference.)
11. How long have you been waiting for the bus.--a great conversation starter.
12. Do you think this rain will ever stop?--another great conversation starter.
13. How old are you?--What the? Do I know you?
14. Where are you from?--Is this question really necessary? Are you asking me out on a date?
2. Hmm, mmm, (whistle).--
older gentleman who was at a lost for words.
3. Hello. What's your name?--a normal older man who couldn't think of anything creative to say.
4. How are you doing? Do you need help with something? I can help you with anything you need.--
a desperate old man who needed either money, sex or both.
5. You have a nice smile, come on over here and talk with me awhile.
6. Do you need a lift?-- an older man who might not be as nice as he looked.
7. Let me help you with that.--a typical move to get close to a young woman.
8. Do I know you from somewhere?--he knew he didn't know me, but he got me to speak.
9. Have I seen you here before?
10. You seem to be lost Dorothy...you are a long way from Kansas City. (Wizard of the Oz character reference.)
11. How long have you been waiting for the bus.--a great conversation starter.
12. Do you think this rain will ever stop?--another great conversation starter.
13. How old are you?--What the? Do I know you?
14. Where are you from?--Is this question really necessary? Are you asking me out on a date?
When is Too Old, Too Old?
I noticed that the older I get, the older the men get that I attract. When I was in my early 20s the men were in their 30s and early 40s. Now that I am nearing the big 40, the men are in their late 50s and 60s.
Every now and again I manage to have an interesting conversation with a man in his 70s who wants to take me home, but there's just one problem, the wife doesn't think it's a good idea.
I hope you are enjoying this blog. There is much more to come, so keep reading!
Nicholl
Every now and again I manage to have an interesting conversation with a man in his 70s who wants to take me home, but there's just one problem, the wife doesn't think it's a good idea.
I hope you are enjoying this blog. There is much more to come, so keep reading!
Nicholl
Monday
Older Guy, Young Guy - a poem by Nicholl McGuire
I'm not going to lie,
"Yes, he's an older guy."
Younger guy sighs,
then he asks, "Why?"
"Because he doesn't say bye."
Older man knows he's going to die.
Younger guy too concerned about "me and my."
"I'm not going to cheat and lie,"
coming from the mouth of a younger guy.
But older man says, "That's a lie!"
He has been there, done that,
seen the movie, and knows
that younger guys still want to get groovy.
"I just need you, want you, don't need anything!"
But that's just a sad song a deceitful guy likes to sing.
Older guy warns about those "young boys"
and how they play girls like Barbie toys.
Young guy tells a story of an old dude,
talks about how he acts real rude.
Both telling on one another,
no male loyalty to each other.
So many lame games,
so many young dames.
Older guy can buy one or two today,
and have a new lady friend by next May.
Young guy can beg and plead,
and hope that he can get a little for free.
Sex does nothing more than perplex,
creates a few too many train wrecks.
True love comes to those who limit strife,
comes to a mature man who desires a wife.
Nicholl McGuire
"Yes, he's an older guy."
Younger guy sighs,
then he asks, "Why?"
"Because he doesn't say bye."
Older man knows he's going to die.
Younger guy too concerned about "me and my."
"I'm not going to cheat and lie,"
coming from the mouth of a younger guy.
But older man says, "That's a lie!"
He has been there, done that,
seen the movie, and knows
that younger guys still want to get groovy.
"I just need you, want you, don't need anything!"
But that's just a sad song a deceitful guy likes to sing.
Older guy warns about those "young boys"
and how they play girls like Barbie toys.
Young guy tells a story of an old dude,
talks about how he acts real rude.
Both telling on one another,
no male loyalty to each other.
So many lame games,
so many young dames.
Older guy can buy one or two today,
and have a new lady friend by next May.
Young guy can beg and plead,
and hope that he can get a little for free.
Sex does nothing more than perplex,
creates a few too many train wrecks.
True love comes to those who limit strife,
comes to a mature man who desires a wife.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
How Older Men Get Good-Looking Younger Women
This video shows the real truth when it comes to how an older man is able to attract a younger woman that may appear like she is not his type. Even if you don't agree with everything in the video, understand this is what really happens in many age-gap relationships whether it is an older man interested in dating a younger woman or an older woman interested in pursuing a relationship with a younger man. The reality is if you are broke, busted and disgusted and act that way, you will not get what you really want. The man in the video exudes confidence, the young woman displays energy and youthfulness. Enjoy the video!
If You Can't Keep Up, Shut Up
Sometimes we seek people who we think are a good match for us because they have a quality that we only wished we had. He is fun, she is attractive and smart--they both like to party. So we reason in our minds, "I want a relationship like theirs." Knowing full well we are ill-equipped to handle certain personalities and interests.
Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, rich, poor, happy or miserable, it would make sense to update yourself on what you like and don't like in a relationship. Maybe you have changed over the years. If you find yourself getting out more alone, then most likely you will be more adventurous with someone you are dating. Test yourself on some of those interests others enjoy before you make them your own. If you find yourself having to struggle to keep up with your dates, you are most likely pretending to be something you are not. Some people just aren't active, don't enjoy eating healthy, or stepping out of their comfort zones. Others are insecure and jealous. They don't know how to deal with public stares, out-spoken individuals, or friends, exes, family etc. Knowing this, you can't make anyone be something they are not (at least for a long period of time). You might be able to persuade an individual to think outside of the box, but how long they stay out the box is ultimately up to them.
Over the years, I have dated cookie cutter kind of men. They all were cut from the same dough and shaped the same way in their thought processes. Most enjoyed pretty much the same things--eating, sleeping, watching sports on TV, and sex on weekends. When I tried to get them to open up about other interests, they looked at me with a dumb look or criticized me for my ideas. Some of these men really meant well and attempted to impress me by thinking outside the box, but that was short-lived.
When dating, you have to honestly know what you like and don't like and be sincere when you communicate your interests, boundaries and other similar things to your dates. Putting on an act, like you are the creative type when you know you are really the logical type, will only cause friction in your future relationship. Pretending like you are an extrovert when in fact you know you are an introvert will only cause unnecessary conflict. From saints to sinners, don't try to be something you know you are not deep down inside just because you think it impresses someone, you are gaining some type of material wealth, etc.
Too often couples attempt to change one another. He doesn't like his partner acting friendly toward others so he acts negatively in an effort to get her to stop being so cordial. She doesn't like the fact he is a couch potato so she nags him about going places. If you can't keep up, shut up! No sense in arguing about why a date doesn't like, doesn't want, or doesn't enjoy your company and vice versa. Avoid the temptation to exaggerate or lie about who you are and what you like from the beginning! Take notice of those subtle signs a date is not the one before you agree to settle down with someone who may or may not be your match.
Nicholl McGuire
Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, rich, poor, happy or miserable, it would make sense to update yourself on what you like and don't like in a relationship. Maybe you have changed over the years. If you find yourself getting out more alone, then most likely you will be more adventurous with someone you are dating. Test yourself on some of those interests others enjoy before you make them your own. If you find yourself having to struggle to keep up with your dates, you are most likely pretending to be something you are not. Some people just aren't active, don't enjoy eating healthy, or stepping out of their comfort zones. Others are insecure and jealous. They don't know how to deal with public stares, out-spoken individuals, or friends, exes, family etc. Knowing this, you can't make anyone be something they are not (at least for a long period of time). You might be able to persuade an individual to think outside of the box, but how long they stay out the box is ultimately up to them.
Over the years, I have dated cookie cutter kind of men. They all were cut from the same dough and shaped the same way in their thought processes. Most enjoyed pretty much the same things--eating, sleeping, watching sports on TV, and sex on weekends. When I tried to get them to open up about other interests, they looked at me with a dumb look or criticized me for my ideas. Some of these men really meant well and attempted to impress me by thinking outside the box, but that was short-lived.
When dating, you have to honestly know what you like and don't like and be sincere when you communicate your interests, boundaries and other similar things to your dates. Putting on an act, like you are the creative type when you know you are really the logical type, will only cause friction in your future relationship. Pretending like you are an extrovert when in fact you know you are an introvert will only cause unnecessary conflict. From saints to sinners, don't try to be something you know you are not deep down inside just because you think it impresses someone, you are gaining some type of material wealth, etc.
Too often couples attempt to change one another. He doesn't like his partner acting friendly toward others so he acts negatively in an effort to get her to stop being so cordial. She doesn't like the fact he is a couch potato so she nags him about going places. If you can't keep up, shut up! No sense in arguing about why a date doesn't like, doesn't want, or doesn't enjoy your company and vice versa. Avoid the temptation to exaggerate or lie about who you are and what you like from the beginning! Take notice of those subtle signs a date is not the one before you agree to settle down with someone who may or may not be your match.
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
How to Get an Older Guy to Like You
Interested in dating internationally? Check out girlsdategentleman.com, see video below:
Sunday
It's Just Not Working Out, Now What?
So you tried dating older, younger, close to your own age, and every number in between but this dating stuff is wearing you out, besides you are with someone right now that you aren't completely sold on. When you feel this way, time to fall back.
It takes time, money and energy to date as you very well know. But sometimes other demands in life get the best of us and then those issues start trickling over into our dating experiences. Other times we simply don't want to be bothered with dating, but we will go ahead with a romance just because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings. However, sooner rather than later, a date may pick up on our lack of interest and jump ship or stick around and begin to annoy us until we make a move. It is better to cut one's losses early then to string people along especially those who are younger or older.
A man who is in his midlife years is typically looking for someone who is going to keep him company and stick around for awhile. He realizes the importance of life and values his years hoping to finally find happiness in his personal life. The mature man may not be interested in marriage, but desire all the things that being in a committed relationship may bring. But, this is a selfish motive especially if he chooses to continue to date a younger woman who hopes to get married and have children one day. She will be hurt, confused, and possibly scarred for the rest of her life, if the older man doesn't do what's right and share how he truly feels and why a long term relationship with him just isn't going to work.
As for the younger woman, she most likely feels like she has a lot of years ahead to find her true love so she may not settle with the older man, but then again there is always that possibility that she will stick around if he treats her well. She may fight feelings of wanting to let him go, but she may put on act in the meantime until she is sure. Now if a younger woman chooses to date an older man for reasons other than the typical companionship, sex, new experience, security, etc. then there may be something more going on with her than meets the eye. It isn't any wonder that someone dating her doesn't know what to think of the relationship. There is always someone who breaks the mold.
Both younger and older dates, like any other date, have their reasons why they think a romance is a bust, not worth pursuing right now, or okay but without or with the sex depending on the agreement between the couple. But whatever you think you want or don't want from your date, be clear about it. For example, "I am no longer interested in a romantic relationship...I think it is best we part ways because I can't give you what you want...I realize we are not a match...I prefer to focus on XYZ and have no desire to date anymore."
Avoid the temptation to pretend like things are okay when they are not. People who fake like there is a future with someone will be found out and when that happens don't be surprised if Crazy shows up and shows out especially if you say things like, "I love you...I want to keep having sex...Live with me...Don't leave me...Give me sometime to think about things." Crazy will yell, "So all this time you have been leading me on? You never really wanted me, you just wanted to use me! You don't love me, you love my...I outta call your wife! Better yet, tell everyone you know what I think of you!" Uh oh.
So when you are ready to stop dating someone:
1. Do it gradually. Less phone calls, dates, and avoid taking this person around your family and friends.
2. Be sure you are no longer leaving things over this person's home.
3. Don't tell his or her relatives, friends or co-workers how you truly feel.
4. Contact someone if you feel like your date will act violently toward you. Record your conversation, meet in a public area, or have a police escort come with you to the residence.
5. If the person begins to stalk you, leave a photo with the security personnel at your workplace and tell them you wish not to be contacted by this person. Alert your family and friends you are no longer seeing this person. If need be, get a Protection From Abuse form from your local police department and also take one out in the community where your date resides.
6. Keep track of dates and times your date as showed up unannounced at your job, home, and also contacted you by voicemail, email, snail mail, text, online chat, etc.
Be wise and try to maintain your cool as much as possible when ending a relationship.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains this dating blog as well, click here.
It takes time, money and energy to date as you very well know. But sometimes other demands in life get the best of us and then those issues start trickling over into our dating experiences. Other times we simply don't want to be bothered with dating, but we will go ahead with a romance just because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings. However, sooner rather than later, a date may pick up on our lack of interest and jump ship or stick around and begin to annoy us until we make a move. It is better to cut one's losses early then to string people along especially those who are younger or older.
A man who is in his midlife years is typically looking for someone who is going to keep him company and stick around for awhile. He realizes the importance of life and values his years hoping to finally find happiness in his personal life. The mature man may not be interested in marriage, but desire all the things that being in a committed relationship may bring. But, this is a selfish motive especially if he chooses to continue to date a younger woman who hopes to get married and have children one day. She will be hurt, confused, and possibly scarred for the rest of her life, if the older man doesn't do what's right and share how he truly feels and why a long term relationship with him just isn't going to work.
As for the younger woman, she most likely feels like she has a lot of years ahead to find her true love so she may not settle with the older man, but then again there is always that possibility that she will stick around if he treats her well. She may fight feelings of wanting to let him go, but she may put on act in the meantime until she is sure. Now if a younger woman chooses to date an older man for reasons other than the typical companionship, sex, new experience, security, etc. then there may be something more going on with her than meets the eye. It isn't any wonder that someone dating her doesn't know what to think of the relationship. There is always someone who breaks the mold.
Both younger and older dates, like any other date, have their reasons why they think a romance is a bust, not worth pursuing right now, or okay but without or with the sex depending on the agreement between the couple. But whatever you think you want or don't want from your date, be clear about it. For example, "I am no longer interested in a romantic relationship...I think it is best we part ways because I can't give you what you want...I realize we are not a match...I prefer to focus on XYZ and have no desire to date anymore."
Avoid the temptation to pretend like things are okay when they are not. People who fake like there is a future with someone will be found out and when that happens don't be surprised if Crazy shows up and shows out especially if you say things like, "I love you...I want to keep having sex...Live with me...Don't leave me...Give me sometime to think about things." Crazy will yell, "So all this time you have been leading me on? You never really wanted me, you just wanted to use me! You don't love me, you love my...I outta call your wife! Better yet, tell everyone you know what I think of you!" Uh oh.
So when you are ready to stop dating someone:
1. Do it gradually. Less phone calls, dates, and avoid taking this person around your family and friends.
2. Be sure you are no longer leaving things over this person's home.
3. Don't tell his or her relatives, friends or co-workers how you truly feel.
4. Contact someone if you feel like your date will act violently toward you. Record your conversation, meet in a public area, or have a police escort come with you to the residence.
5. If the person begins to stalk you, leave a photo with the security personnel at your workplace and tell them you wish not to be contacted by this person. Alert your family and friends you are no longer seeing this person. If need be, get a Protection From Abuse form from your local police department and also take one out in the community where your date resides.
6. Keep track of dates and times your date as showed up unannounced at your job, home, and also contacted you by voicemail, email, snail mail, text, online chat, etc.
Be wise and try to maintain your cool as much as possible when ending a relationship.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains this dating blog as well, click here.
Tuesday
5 Things About Older Men No Woman Likes
So you got her, but can you keep her? The younger, intelligent woman is not going to spend the best years of her life committed to a mature man who just can't seem to understand why some things he does or doesn't do are deal breakers. If you love her, you will do what is right--without the excuse-making, blame game, reverse psychology tactics, and emotional or physical abuse. No sane woman is going to tolerate the following forever and always! Sooner or later she is going to take a stand, so rather than listen to her rant, pay attention and make needed changes.
1. Men who don't keep themselves up ie.) take daily showers, cut hair, etc.
Would you want to smell a nasty body odor from your partner or look at her disheveled hair often? Of course not. You would say something to her wouldn't you. So what makes you think she wants to keep tolerating some things about you that you have obviously let go?
2. Men who are users and abusers.
How long will you ask her to give you something, make this, or do that before she becomes visibly upset? Do as much as you can on your own, without her assistance, and maybe you won't look like you are using and abusing her. As one woman once shared with me about doing for men, "Iron wears out." A woman will grow weary of being nice to you when you don't bother to appreciate her and do what she likes sometimes without resistance. Men have said similar things--it takes two to tango, my friend. Would you like to be used and abused by her?
3. Men who lie or exaggerate about things like: who they know, where they have been, and what happened while there.
If you can't help her, don't hurt her with lies and exaggerations. Some women are vengeful--they hold alot in before they unleash their wrath--what you thought you got away with five days ago or even five years ago just might come back to haunt you, so tell the truth!
4. Men who say one thing and do another. ie.) He says he likes to go places, but in reality he is a couch potato.
When you have dated much, there are some things that you should know by now when it comes to women, like not telling your date you love her when you really don't know what you feel or making yourself out to be someone that you really aren't, like a rich big shot--yeah right. Meanwhile, the reality is you are in over your head in debt and you hope your date offers to pay sometime. Be open!
5. Men who have little room in their lives for a committed relationship.
As much as you would like to date that special someone, the truth is you barely have enough time to clip your toenails. Seriously, re-think dating a young woman when you know you have little time and patience. She will desire your attention and affection and if you can't give it to her, there will be someone else (most likely younger than you) that will fulfill that void one day. Think before you take the leap!
These five tips are just a start on the right track when it comes to dating and keeping a young woman, I'm sure you can think of five more. So do take the time to better yourself before arguments get out of hand.
Nicholl McGuire
1. Men who don't keep themselves up ie.) take daily showers, cut hair, etc.
Would you want to smell a nasty body odor from your partner or look at her disheveled hair often? Of course not. You would say something to her wouldn't you. So what makes you think she wants to keep tolerating some things about you that you have obviously let go?
2. Men who are users and abusers.
How long will you ask her to give you something, make this, or do that before she becomes visibly upset? Do as much as you can on your own, without her assistance, and maybe you won't look like you are using and abusing her. As one woman once shared with me about doing for men, "Iron wears out." A woman will grow weary of being nice to you when you don't bother to appreciate her and do what she likes sometimes without resistance. Men have said similar things--it takes two to tango, my friend. Would you like to be used and abused by her?
3. Men who lie or exaggerate about things like: who they know, where they have been, and what happened while there.
If you can't help her, don't hurt her with lies and exaggerations. Some women are vengeful--they hold alot in before they unleash their wrath--what you thought you got away with five days ago or even five years ago just might come back to haunt you, so tell the truth!
4. Men who say one thing and do another. ie.) He says he likes to go places, but in reality he is a couch potato.
When you have dated much, there are some things that you should know by now when it comes to women, like not telling your date you love her when you really don't know what you feel or making yourself out to be someone that you really aren't, like a rich big shot--yeah right. Meanwhile, the reality is you are in over your head in debt and you hope your date offers to pay sometime. Be open!
5. Men who have little room in their lives for a committed relationship.
As much as you would like to date that special someone, the truth is you barely have enough time to clip your toenails. Seriously, re-think dating a young woman when you know you have little time and patience. She will desire your attention and affection and if you can't give it to her, there will be someone else (most likely younger than you) that will fulfill that void one day. Think before you take the leap!
These five tips are just a start on the right track when it comes to dating and keeping a young woman, I'm sure you can think of five more. So do take the time to better yourself before arguments get out of hand.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
When the Fashionably Dressed Older Man Overcompensates for His Lack
When young and older men sit back and admire a fellow brother who appears to be very successful, happy, and has many women who like him, what they don't readily see are his weaknesses and neither do those women who think he is a good catch.
Far too many young women, as well as older ones, are caught with a charming smile, false promises, and more because they fail to see manipulative tactics by deceptive older men. Like young men, who look up to players, pimps, and hustlers, foolish women are taken by the gentleman's decor used to entice the naive, gullible, materialistic, and others who wish to walk in or beside his shoes.
The designer labels, the fat leather wallet, eye-catching jewelry, expensive cars, a big home, and other feel-good items are nothing more than distractions that lead many people away from truth. It is very hard for one to see whether Mr. Right Now is more like Mr. Right Never Ever.
The young woman, captivated by an admirer's lustful desires, fails to see the signs that an older man is past his prime and may not satisfy her like a man her own age. She deceives herself into thinking she is attracted to him because "He said that he would give me...He promised that he would buy me... He told me that he loved me..." when the reality is that this older man is deceiving his fans with charms that lead many women to Heartbreak Hotel.
Many older men have been dismissed as future long-term mates by observant, mature women, because they saw early on through these manipulative men's lies. So he goes out to the local mall and elsewhere buying yet another item he doesn't need to make himself happy while seeking yet another woman who will stick around and give him what he wants before she notices his flaws.
Now some of the mature man's weaknesses are noticeable while others not so much. Some women learn the hard way that there are those men who are physically broken--lacking in something here, there or everywhere! One would think a man who knows he can't get along with or keep a woman for a variety of reasons would just settle with being alone, but not the determined mature man who thinks he still has what it takes from 10, 15 or 20 plus years ago!
The reality that he can't keep up with a younger woman or connect with women in his own age group soon affects various areas of his life from finances to location. He thinks, "What can I do to make them like me?" Some older men will dress up their broken bodies in the finest garments--especially those individuals who refuse to do things like: take necessary medicines/supplements for their conditions, work out, or seek a professional therapist for past issues. They believe that their next victim won't notice things like: a moody temperament, a terrible odor that comes and goes, impotence, tiredness, and strange behaviors. Other mature men will buy gadgets and go places they think will impress their love interests. While some will simply do nothing but run their mouths in the hopes that they can get a quickie from someone who might be having a similar hormonal high.
A man who really wants love in his life must come to terms with the truth about himself. Dressing one's self in the latest fashions may draw some honeybees, but how long they stay is up in the air. If you are experiencing some free time after breaking up with someone, consider looking at yourself in the mirror, sniff around, observe your environment, and pay close attention to what those closest to you have warned, a body that is crying out for love and peace needs more than just another item to cover it or keep it entertained.
Nicholl McGuire, creator of this blog. Thank you for visiting!
Far too many young women, as well as older ones, are caught with a charming smile, false promises, and more because they fail to see manipulative tactics by deceptive older men. Like young men, who look up to players, pimps, and hustlers, foolish women are taken by the gentleman's decor used to entice the naive, gullible, materialistic, and others who wish to walk in or beside his shoes.
The designer labels, the fat leather wallet, eye-catching jewelry, expensive cars, a big home, and other feel-good items are nothing more than distractions that lead many people away from truth. It is very hard for one to see whether Mr. Right Now is more like Mr. Right Never Ever.
The young woman, captivated by an admirer's lustful desires, fails to see the signs that an older man is past his prime and may not satisfy her like a man her own age. She deceives herself into thinking she is attracted to him because "He said that he would give me...He promised that he would buy me... He told me that he loved me..." when the reality is that this older man is deceiving his fans with charms that lead many women to Heartbreak Hotel.
Many older men have been dismissed as future long-term mates by observant, mature women, because they saw early on through these manipulative men's lies. So he goes out to the local mall and elsewhere buying yet another item he doesn't need to make himself happy while seeking yet another woman who will stick around and give him what he wants before she notices his flaws.
Now some of the mature man's weaknesses are noticeable while others not so much. Some women learn the hard way that there are those men who are physically broken--lacking in something here, there or everywhere! One would think a man who knows he can't get along with or keep a woman for a variety of reasons would just settle with being alone, but not the determined mature man who thinks he still has what it takes from 10, 15 or 20 plus years ago!
The reality that he can't keep up with a younger woman or connect with women in his own age group soon affects various areas of his life from finances to location. He thinks, "What can I do to make them like me?" Some older men will dress up their broken bodies in the finest garments--especially those individuals who refuse to do things like: take necessary medicines/supplements for their conditions, work out, or seek a professional therapist for past issues. They believe that their next victim won't notice things like: a moody temperament, a terrible odor that comes and goes, impotence, tiredness, and strange behaviors. Other mature men will buy gadgets and go places they think will impress their love interests. While some will simply do nothing but run their mouths in the hopes that they can get a quickie from someone who might be having a similar hormonal high.
A man who really wants love in his life must come to terms with the truth about himself. Dressing one's self in the latest fashions may draw some honeybees, but how long they stay is up in the air. If you are experiencing some free time after breaking up with someone, consider looking at yourself in the mirror, sniff around, observe your environment, and pay close attention to what those closest to you have warned, a body that is crying out for love and peace needs more than just another item to cover it or keep it entertained.
Nicholl McGuire, creator of this blog. Thank you for visiting!
Keep Up With Me
Found someone who can keep up with me
now that one is all I can see.
Have been through the fight to keep love in sight.
After years of pain, now I see the light!
Have told others, there is more to do besides sharing covers.
Tried to speak wisdom to the lost and confused kind of brothers.
I really wasn't prepared for a love like this,
but things changed when we shared a kiss.
Older, younger
stronger, wise.
Broke past ties,
kept away from lies.
Times were somewhat good back then,
even when my spirit didn't override my skin.
These days I am focused on what really matters,
true love has made a pumping heart grow fatter.
Feel satisfied with my new life,
less boring, and not as much strife.
Know what I want and why I am here,
happiness moves me to shed a tear.
I do not fear what people might say
I take the time out to pray each day.
Have a lot to share with the one who has blessed me,
healed my wandering, blind eyes, so that I may see,
I now appreciate the one who stands before me!
Nicholl McGuire
now that one is all I can see.
Have been through the fight to keep love in sight.
After years of pain, now I see the light!
Have told others, there is more to do besides sharing covers.
Tried to speak wisdom to the lost and confused kind of brothers.
I really wasn't prepared for a love like this,
but things changed when we shared a kiss.
Older, younger
stronger, wise.
Broke past ties,
kept away from lies.
Times were somewhat good back then,
even when my spirit didn't override my skin.
These days I am focused on what really matters,
true love has made a pumping heart grow fatter.
Feel satisfied with my new life,
less boring, and not as much strife.
Know what I want and why I am here,
happiness moves me to shed a tear.
I do not fear what people might say
I take the time out to pray each day.
Have a lot to share with the one who has blessed me,
healed my wandering, blind eyes, so that I may see,
I now appreciate the one who stands before me!
Nicholl McGuire
Friday
Tricks are for Kids: Silly, Smart Women
Watch enough reality shows, celebrity award programs, movies, and other so-called award-winning productions and you will find many, many silly women and men. But for purposes of this blog entry, I will be focusing on silly, smart women that draw our attention.
Whether she is a celebrity or someone you know from work, these silly, smart women are the ones who do and say things that are selfish, but guise their deeds up with "helping, encouraging...loving Jesus..." and more. They dress younger than their age. Talk in ways that make you think you are speaking with a child, rather than an adult. Shop for things in stores that would typically excite children, not women. Many have been abused as a child and many more know how to change from one personality to the next especially when feeling threatened or controlled in a relationship.
You may have heard of a celebrity or two acting silly. Some purposely act silly; however, there is absolutely nothing juvenile about them, but in order to make a living, there are those women who act immature. Sometimes a parent/relative/manager/lover encouraged them to act in stupid ways and rewarded them for it. Meanwhile, you may have said to yourself, "What is with this woman? What exactly do you call helping others when she is dancing around half dressed looking like a Barbie, acting like a fool in movies, and supporting all things immoral, childish and downright stupid?" But silly, smart women know how to draw you in. You may have thought wisely for a moment, yet if that beautiful or not-so attractive woman with a great body is in your presence, you would most likely look for something about her you admire and forget about her immaturity or silly act. Before long, you would be opening your wallet or your arms up to her.
Silly, smart women know how to draw, not only men to them, but women too. They need to establish trust with everyone they encounter. They desire friends in order to accomplish their goals. For some silly, smart women they talk childish, act silly for a time while waiting for the opportunity to get their needs met--whatever that might be.
Being a stingy, grumpy, evil S.O.B. who thinks he knows it all is not going to help most older men who think they can outsmart silly, attractive women. Some men are simply suckers for charm, beauty and immaturity. The best thing a mature man can do to protect himself from the silly actress or childish younger woman is to not entertain her--ignore her. She can be as smart as a Bill Gates, but with silly attached to her list of attributes isn't a good thing, no matter how much you reason it's okay--maybe for the younger silly man, but not for someone who is supposed to be wise and mature.
We all know when someone calls us, "silly" for doing something, that isn't a compliment. Silly people, things and places mean childish, boy and girl behaviors not grown men and women. If you are a Bible reader you know that your Creator wants you to put off childish ways. Men are called to grow up! But it's hard to see that when you see far too much media celebrating silly behavior both on and offline. Unless you are just as silly as an immature woman, if not worse, your relationship just might have it's share of challenges. Sooner or later you will be calling her a name or two for her child-like behaviors.
Men who are accused of being too serious, dull, boring and even mean-spirited because they don't know how to "lighten up" and take one day at a time (with a smile on their faces) will find it difficult dating most younger women who are in their early 20s attending college or working with children.
Immature men, silly ones, are not going to be a good match for a younger woman who is often serious and finds laughing difficult, but tend to get along well with immature women for a time. But two silly adults can drive one another crazy especially when one is ready to act more adult while the other doesn't want to grow up.
But silly, smart women and men both have a common plan and that is to use their immaturity to get what they want, when they want it. Many aren't interested in anything long term. Most are more concerned about how dating one who is older is going to make them look. If he is rich, he is a catch. A poor older man is no better than a young, poor man. Knowing these things, be cautious of that one who you are quick to label silly, keep in mind, she just might be smart too. Unfortunately, many men will be hurt because they didn't see through the act.
Nicholl McGuire
Whether she is a celebrity or someone you know from work, these silly, smart women are the ones who do and say things that are selfish, but guise their deeds up with "helping, encouraging...loving Jesus..." and more. They dress younger than their age. Talk in ways that make you think you are speaking with a child, rather than an adult. Shop for things in stores that would typically excite children, not women. Many have been abused as a child and many more know how to change from one personality to the next especially when feeling threatened or controlled in a relationship.
You may have heard of a celebrity or two acting silly. Some purposely act silly; however, there is absolutely nothing juvenile about them, but in order to make a living, there are those women who act immature. Sometimes a parent/relative/manager/lover encouraged them to act in stupid ways and rewarded them for it. Meanwhile, you may have said to yourself, "What is with this woman? What exactly do you call helping others when she is dancing around half dressed looking like a Barbie, acting like a fool in movies, and supporting all things immoral, childish and downright stupid?" But silly, smart women know how to draw you in. You may have thought wisely for a moment, yet if that beautiful or not-so attractive woman with a great body is in your presence, you would most likely look for something about her you admire and forget about her immaturity or silly act. Before long, you would be opening your wallet or your arms up to her.
Silly, smart women know how to draw, not only men to them, but women too. They need to establish trust with everyone they encounter. They desire friends in order to accomplish their goals. For some silly, smart women they talk childish, act silly for a time while waiting for the opportunity to get their needs met--whatever that might be.
Being a stingy, grumpy, evil S.O.B. who thinks he knows it all is not going to help most older men who think they can outsmart silly, attractive women. Some men are simply suckers for charm, beauty and immaturity. The best thing a mature man can do to protect himself from the silly actress or childish younger woman is to not entertain her--ignore her. She can be as smart as a Bill Gates, but with silly attached to her list of attributes isn't a good thing, no matter how much you reason it's okay--maybe for the younger silly man, but not for someone who is supposed to be wise and mature.
We all know when someone calls us, "silly" for doing something, that isn't a compliment. Silly people, things and places mean childish, boy and girl behaviors not grown men and women. If you are a Bible reader you know that your Creator wants you to put off childish ways. Men are called to grow up! But it's hard to see that when you see far too much media celebrating silly behavior both on and offline. Unless you are just as silly as an immature woman, if not worse, your relationship just might have it's share of challenges. Sooner or later you will be calling her a name or two for her child-like behaviors.
Men who are accused of being too serious, dull, boring and even mean-spirited because they don't know how to "lighten up" and take one day at a time (with a smile on their faces) will find it difficult dating most younger women who are in their early 20s attending college or working with children.
Immature men, silly ones, are not going to be a good match for a younger woman who is often serious and finds laughing difficult, but tend to get along well with immature women for a time. But two silly adults can drive one another crazy especially when one is ready to act more adult while the other doesn't want to grow up.
But silly, smart women and men both have a common plan and that is to use their immaturity to get what they want, when they want it. Many aren't interested in anything long term. Most are more concerned about how dating one who is older is going to make them look. If he is rich, he is a catch. A poor older man is no better than a young, poor man. Knowing these things, be cautious of that one who you are quick to label silly, keep in mind, she just might be smart too. Unfortunately, many men will be hurt because they didn't see through the act.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
Ashamed to Date Older Men, Younger Women
It started off as a good idea, there was one, then two, maybe three older dates or younger ones in the past. But then, the feelings of shame, regret and other emotions started to grow and they wouldn't leave while some dated those half their age or older/younger. So he stopped dating youthful women and she stopped dating older.
Some of you reading this, may have had similar experiences dating older or younger and you have your share of regrets. But lately, you may have thought about doing it again. Be sure, be really sure this time! Hearts get broken so easily, time and money get wasted and in the end you find yourself back at square one (sigh). Like an interracial, same sex, mixed religious or political party relationship, the challenges will be there, yet love must conquer all!
There is a certain degree of shame that one might experience being with someone older or younger especially when appearances are a dead give away. Passerbyers will let their thoughts show up on faces that are not in agreement. Uncomfortable feelings will surface as you look at that younger or older partner standing, sitting or walking next to you. But one must fight those emotions if he or she wants to remain in a relationship.
The mature man isn't going to be as attractive as the younger men a woman might have dated the older he gets. And she isn't going to stay young and vibrant forever. Whatever the issue, just know that your date is a human being with feelings that grow like flowers--not a mindless sexy character on the Internet or in a video game.
If you are sincerely ready to date younger or older again, then know what is ahead and how you will respond to those trials, but tell yourself, "Running is not an option unless we simply have nothing in common." Otherwise, enjoy your new friend no matter the age and be open to love and change!
Nicholl McGuire author Laboring to Love Myself.
Some of you reading this, may have had similar experiences dating older or younger and you have your share of regrets. But lately, you may have thought about doing it again. Be sure, be really sure this time! Hearts get broken so easily, time and money get wasted and in the end you find yourself back at square one (sigh). Like an interracial, same sex, mixed religious or political party relationship, the challenges will be there, yet love must conquer all!
There is a certain degree of shame that one might experience being with someone older or younger especially when appearances are a dead give away. Passerbyers will let their thoughts show up on faces that are not in agreement. Uncomfortable feelings will surface as you look at that younger or older partner standing, sitting or walking next to you. But one must fight those emotions if he or she wants to remain in a relationship.
The mature man isn't going to be as attractive as the younger men a woman might have dated the older he gets. And she isn't going to stay young and vibrant forever. Whatever the issue, just know that your date is a human being with feelings that grow like flowers--not a mindless sexy character on the Internet or in a video game.
If you are sincerely ready to date younger or older again, then know what is ahead and how you will respond to those trials, but tell yourself, "Running is not an option unless we simply have nothing in common." Otherwise, enjoy your new friend no matter the age and be open to love and change!
Nicholl McGuire author Laboring to Love Myself.
Tuesday
Thoughts on Leaving Older Partner to Date Younger
He made a decision to leave his older partner, because he no longer found the relationship interesting anymore. She chose to leave her older mate, due to the age gap that started to affect things like: romance, conversation, and the way she saw herself. Both left older to date younger in the hope to find someone more compatible, more affection, energetic, and more. Of course, there are pros and cons to doing this, lets review some of them.
Dull Romances
We can't avoid those periods in our relationships where everything starts to become a bit mundane and routine. Unless one is working an interesting job, have a great network of people that keep him or her excited, and money to spend to visit fun places at will (along with the desire to do it), the person seeking to leave his or her older partner just might be as boring as them, but just doesn't realize it yet. Running into the arms of someone more interesting is just a temporary pick-me-up, but sooner or later you will begin to notice that the same things you didn't want in the last relationship are going to start to show up in the new one.
Health Concerns
Unfortunately, some couples just can't make it, because one or both can't handle health issues. From andropause to menopause woes, if a lover didn't have the patience to contend with those health challenges with his or her last partner, what makes this person think that everything will be just fine with someone younger? Most young women can still bear children which will affect the body in time especially when she starts having that need to want to become pregnant. Many take birth control which has been known to fluctuate mood, weight, and more. So for the older man who thinks he can do better by getting someone younger while leaving an older partner and possibly children behind, he just might inherit a few new problems that he might not be ready for like a future offspring affecting his mood and weight. Also, take into consideration the many people who are walking this earth with an incurable sexual disease, mental disorders, criminal records and other issues brought on by wreckless behaviors, bad parenting, peer influences, etc. Know what you are getting into beyond the nice smile, sexy body and whatever else you are looking for.
Relatives and Friends
No matter who one dates, there will always be certain relatives and friends that may be very important in his or her life that the one dating younger won't necessarily like or agree with. Criticism comes and goes from loved ones when starting any new relationship. But if this is one reason why you just can't stand being with your older ex, it's not a very good one especially if you still have to deal with a few relatives because of children. Besides, you just might find that your younger mate's relatives and friends won't be any easier on you particularly if there is a significant age difference between you and younger mate.
Money
A young woman who leaves a relatively stable relationship just because she feels like her older man just isn't doing it for her, might regret her decision later. If age is the only factor that bothers her, nowadays there are plenty of things men can take and do to better their lifestyles. But leaving an older man solely for the beauty of a younger man is foolish and unwise. Money may not be a factor in the relationship, but then it might be. Some younger women stay because of money while others leave because there is no assistance for what they have to put up with concerning an older man (ie. aging process, children with an ex, long work hours, etc.) so they go back to dating younger. However, young men, who aren't necessarily ready for a committed relationship, but think they are, have been known to be unfaithful, immature, and unreliable in serious relationships. Also, consider many who are irresponsible with their finances and selfish. But for those young men who aren't, the young woman just might find a treasure in more ways than one. For older men, who believe that a younger woman can complete him, know that most young women aren't established and don't have the wealth that he who has had decades to build. An older mate will find that at some point in the relationship his younger partner will need his financial assistance, so if he isn't the generous type, there will be issues.
These are just some of the many things one who is interested in leaving an older partner for a younger mate might run into. For some readers, this piece might have discouraged and if so, most likely you still love and respect your older mate. But for others, you may still want to leave your mate for any and all reasons, just keep in mind that those "in love" feelings with a new someone are temporary and they are not what builds a healthy long-lasting relationship, but you know that already. To your success!
Nicholl McGuire is the blogger for this blog. Check out others: Things to Do Bored and Parents, Babies, Children
Dull Romances
We can't avoid those periods in our relationships where everything starts to become a bit mundane and routine. Unless one is working an interesting job, have a great network of people that keep him or her excited, and money to spend to visit fun places at will (along with the desire to do it), the person seeking to leave his or her older partner just might be as boring as them, but just doesn't realize it yet. Running into the arms of someone more interesting is just a temporary pick-me-up, but sooner or later you will begin to notice that the same things you didn't want in the last relationship are going to start to show up in the new one.
Health Concerns
Unfortunately, some couples just can't make it, because one or both can't handle health issues. From andropause to menopause woes, if a lover didn't have the patience to contend with those health challenges with his or her last partner, what makes this person think that everything will be just fine with someone younger? Most young women can still bear children which will affect the body in time especially when she starts having that need to want to become pregnant. Many take birth control which has been known to fluctuate mood, weight, and more. So for the older man who thinks he can do better by getting someone younger while leaving an older partner and possibly children behind, he just might inherit a few new problems that he might not be ready for like a future offspring affecting his mood and weight. Also, take into consideration the many people who are walking this earth with an incurable sexual disease, mental disorders, criminal records and other issues brought on by wreckless behaviors, bad parenting, peer influences, etc. Know what you are getting into beyond the nice smile, sexy body and whatever else you are looking for.
Relatives and Friends
No matter who one dates, there will always be certain relatives and friends that may be very important in his or her life that the one dating younger won't necessarily like or agree with. Criticism comes and goes from loved ones when starting any new relationship. But if this is one reason why you just can't stand being with your older ex, it's not a very good one especially if you still have to deal with a few relatives because of children. Besides, you just might find that your younger mate's relatives and friends won't be any easier on you particularly if there is a significant age difference between you and younger mate.
Money
A young woman who leaves a relatively stable relationship just because she feels like her older man just isn't doing it for her, might regret her decision later. If age is the only factor that bothers her, nowadays there are plenty of things men can take and do to better their lifestyles. But leaving an older man solely for the beauty of a younger man is foolish and unwise. Money may not be a factor in the relationship, but then it might be. Some younger women stay because of money while others leave because there is no assistance for what they have to put up with concerning an older man (ie. aging process, children with an ex, long work hours, etc.) so they go back to dating younger. However, young men, who aren't necessarily ready for a committed relationship, but think they are, have been known to be unfaithful, immature, and unreliable in serious relationships. Also, consider many who are irresponsible with their finances and selfish. But for those young men who aren't, the young woman just might find a treasure in more ways than one. For older men, who believe that a younger woman can complete him, know that most young women aren't established and don't have the wealth that he who has had decades to build. An older mate will find that at some point in the relationship his younger partner will need his financial assistance, so if he isn't the generous type, there will be issues.
These are just some of the many things one who is interested in leaving an older partner for a younger mate might run into. For some readers, this piece might have discouraged and if so, most likely you still love and respect your older mate. But for others, you may still want to leave your mate for any and all reasons, just keep in mind that those "in love" feelings with a new someone are temporary and they are not what builds a healthy long-lasting relationship, but you know that already. To your success!
Nicholl McGuire is the blogger for this blog. Check out others: Things to Do Bored and Parents, Babies, Children
Thursday
Their Not My Grandchildren...
It happens, mature fathers being mistaken for grandparents of young babies and children. "Your grandchildren are so cute and well-behaved..." the passer-byer says. "Not my grandchildren, their mine..." says the mature dad.
Have you been guilty of falsely assuming that someone older was a grandparent instead of a parent? Maybe this has happened to you or your mate. You may have experienced negative emotions as a result. For some men, it makes them feel old, but for others they just might need a humble moment such as this if they have been guilty of deceiving themselves into thinking they are young. Meanwhile, other men couldn't care less what someone says, and will write their comments off along with everything else, "It happens, so what."
Yet the grandchildren comment is one of those incidents in life that one might want to use to motivate himself to be the best dad he can possibly be during his remaining years. Why waste valuable moments of fatherhood chasing after selfish interests like many young dads? Someone or a group of individuals reminded you through their comments, "You are a father" irregardless. But some men, don't adjust well to their roles while others don't act like it. These older fathers refuse to embrace the fact that they aren't 20 or 30 plus anymore.
Being with a younger woman doesn't make an insecure older man look or feel any younger as he gets older, if anything, it just might remind him of how he should have, could have done some things differently in the past. However, children are here now, so one might as well plan a quality, pro-active life with everyone even if he isn't as youthful as he once was--no excuses. The man will have to eat properly, exercise, take supplements, and keep up--in more ways than one! The realization that his family is younger and he is older is a reality check that can help him progress or regress depending on how much he can look outside of himself. Having a young family and caring for them, is an unselfish act which many working mature men or retirees don't always accept or appreciate. They see bills, more than thrills and the idea of commitment gives them the chills--lol! For some, they rather act as if the young woman and children don't exist, a mistake that they wish they could erase.
A mature father that is secretly unhappy with his life choices might want to consider start living life in such a way his children won't grow up one day carrying feelings of resentment. "Dad really wasn't into us...dad loved his work more than us...I wish we had a younger dad at least he would play with us..." You may have thought such things about your own father.
If you do live to see your grandchildren, what stories might you tell about your sons and daughters? What have you learned so far about life? How might you do things better moving forward?
No matter how many people mistake you for being a grand-dad, know that what really matters is how much you love and care for your children--putting all titles aside.
Nicholl McGuire
Have you been guilty of falsely assuming that someone older was a grandparent instead of a parent? Maybe this has happened to you or your mate. You may have experienced negative emotions as a result. For some men, it makes them feel old, but for others they just might need a humble moment such as this if they have been guilty of deceiving themselves into thinking they are young. Meanwhile, other men couldn't care less what someone says, and will write their comments off along with everything else, "It happens, so what."
Yet the grandchildren comment is one of those incidents in life that one might want to use to motivate himself to be the best dad he can possibly be during his remaining years. Why waste valuable moments of fatherhood chasing after selfish interests like many young dads? Someone or a group of individuals reminded you through their comments, "You are a father" irregardless. But some men, don't adjust well to their roles while others don't act like it. These older fathers refuse to embrace the fact that they aren't 20 or 30 plus anymore.
Being with a younger woman doesn't make an insecure older man look or feel any younger as he gets older, if anything, it just might remind him of how he should have, could have done some things differently in the past. However, children are here now, so one might as well plan a quality, pro-active life with everyone even if he isn't as youthful as he once was--no excuses. The man will have to eat properly, exercise, take supplements, and keep up--in more ways than one! The realization that his family is younger and he is older is a reality check that can help him progress or regress depending on how much he can look outside of himself. Having a young family and caring for them, is an unselfish act which many working mature men or retirees don't always accept or appreciate. They see bills, more than thrills and the idea of commitment gives them the chills--lol! For some, they rather act as if the young woman and children don't exist, a mistake that they wish they could erase.
A mature father that is secretly unhappy with his life choices might want to consider start living life in such a way his children won't grow up one day carrying feelings of resentment. "Dad really wasn't into us...dad loved his work more than us...I wish we had a younger dad at least he would play with us..." You may have thought such things about your own father.
If you do live to see your grandchildren, what stories might you tell about your sons and daughters? What have you learned so far about life? How might you do things better moving forward?
No matter how many people mistake you for being a grand-dad, know that what really matters is how much you love and care for your children--putting all titles aside.
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday
67-Year-Old Actor Steve Martin Welcomes His First Baby
If you thought you were too old to be a dad, think again. FYI Steve's wife is 41. Read article here.
Thursday
They Will Call You Ugly, Old and What Do You Want with My Daughter
Be prepared for the backlash, mature gentleman, if you want to date younger! There are some angry moms and dads who don't want their daughters dating in their words, "an old, ugly no-good man..." and whatever else they choose to call you either behind your back or to your face.
So what's with all the anger? You might think, as they look at you like one who has committed a crime. "She is old enough for me to date," you think.
Most likely, their beloved daughter has shared something about you that made them label you as "One to Watch." Your type may have been seen before or maybe they know how their daughter can be--whatever that means to them, so they don't really agree with you being in her life.
If you don't want a negative report getting back to your mate's friends or folks, then don't do anything that will make them want to call the police, show up on your doorstep, or forbid their daughter to never set eyes on you again. Shall we go down the list of things not to do?
1. Physically fight her.
2. Try to keep her in a room against her will.
3. Lie about a wife, a job, your past, etc.
4. Deny that you know someone in her family.
5. Act as if you are better than members of her family (even if it is true), don't act arrogant and then tell her about what you are thinking.
6. Play head games with her in an attempt to make her be what you want her to be. The family will be watching to see if she changes the way she looks for you, drops out of school, stops being around them, has no life of her own, etc.
Older men who find themselves in hot water with the family are those who think that they have a toy to play with, rather than a fellow human being who wants to be loved and treated with some respect. A controlling man, who likes to play mind games, will stop at nothing to get a young woman to fall in love with him. This is so that she will be loyal and take whatever he is dishing out. If he has a fetish, she will fulfill it. If he wants her to do some things that he could never get his wife to do, she will do it. If he desires a trophy and nothing more, then she will be it. Of course, none of which she does for him comes without a requested token or reward. You know, "I like those shoes, could you get them...? Do you think you can help me pay my student loan bill...?"
Why bother to seek out any woman, young or old, rich or poor, smart or dumb, to be nothing more than an object to meet one's selfish needs? A wise man who desires love is going to build a foundation and a reputation that says, "I am not an old fool. I seek a committed relationship. I want what is best for your daughter. I intend to respect her and I want her to do the same."
Now that, my friend, is a real man!
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others including Things to Do When Bored and Work Place Problems
So what's with all the anger? You might think, as they look at you like one who has committed a crime. "She is old enough for me to date," you think.
Most likely, their beloved daughter has shared something about you that made them label you as "One to Watch." Your type may have been seen before or maybe they know how their daughter can be--whatever that means to them, so they don't really agree with you being in her life.
If you don't want a negative report getting back to your mate's friends or folks, then don't do anything that will make them want to call the police, show up on your doorstep, or forbid their daughter to never set eyes on you again. Shall we go down the list of things not to do?1. Physically fight her.
2. Try to keep her in a room against her will.
3. Lie about a wife, a job, your past, etc.
4. Deny that you know someone in her family.
5. Act as if you are better than members of her family (even if it is true), don't act arrogant and then tell her about what you are thinking.
6. Play head games with her in an attempt to make her be what you want her to be. The family will be watching to see if she changes the way she looks for you, drops out of school, stops being around them, has no life of her own, etc.
Older men who find themselves in hot water with the family are those who think that they have a toy to play with, rather than a fellow human being who wants to be loved and treated with some respect. A controlling man, who likes to play mind games, will stop at nothing to get a young woman to fall in love with him. This is so that she will be loyal and take whatever he is dishing out. If he has a fetish, she will fulfill it. If he wants her to do some things that he could never get his wife to do, she will do it. If he desires a trophy and nothing more, then she will be it. Of course, none of which she does for him comes without a requested token or reward. You know, "I like those shoes, could you get them...? Do you think you can help me pay my student loan bill...?"
Why bother to seek out any woman, young or old, rich or poor, smart or dumb, to be nothing more than an object to meet one's selfish needs? A wise man who desires love is going to build a foundation and a reputation that says, "I am not an old fool. I seek a committed relationship. I want what is best for your daughter. I intend to respect her and I want her to do the same."
Now that, my friend, is a real man!
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others including Things to Do When Bored and Work Place Problems
Wednesday
His Family, Her Family Not Your Friends
Family is just that family. They may act like friends at times, but those who have been there for you through it all are meant to protect you, advise you, love you, and do whatever else for you, but don't expect the same from your dating partner's family.
So many girlfriends and boyfriends enter into families expecting to receive the same, if not better, treatment from their partner's family. They falsely assume that because they haven't been in any family wars with the in-laws that they will be treated like "one of the family." This phrase sounds nice in movies, but the reality is that maybe one or two of your mate's relatives might be open to embracing you like calling or visiting the two of you and really taking interest in who you are (and not necessarily what you have), but not most of your future inlaws. Therefore, they can't be trusted with private information about you or the status of your relationship with their loved one, so don't bother sharing deep feelings, whether written or verbal, because what you say might come back to haunt you one day. For instance, don't say something like, "I love her with all my heart and I will do almost anything to make sure she stays happy with me." Family won't forget.
When we feel comfortable around those "nice, polite," and "sweetheart" types of people, who don't appear like they could hurt a fly, we tend to talk too much. Grandma may act kind and Grandpa might be cordial too, but they just might have a dark side. Parents aren't always "cool" or "great to be around" so don't take the flattering statements too seriously. Chances are there are some things that your mate really doesn't want his or her family to know about your relationship, faith, upbringing, job, and more. It can be challenging to know what to say or what not to say when you don't talk to your mate about topics in advance. You wouldn't want to go to your girlfriend's or boyfriend's parents' home joining in on a conversation about how your mate can't cook, doesn't like to clean, and was good for nothing as a child. Imagine what the ride home will be like with your partner. If your relatives are mean-spirited, angry, bitter or have some sort of mental condition, don't hide these things say so. If your partner may not mesh very well with certain relatives then why bother bringing her or him to their setting? If you know you don't like your family for one reason or another, then deal with those issues without bringing someone you love into your mess. Warn him or her of those challenges you have with certain family members.
There are relatives who don't mind telling everyone all about you both good and bad. You may not be ready to tell your mate everything about you, so it would make sense not to bring her or him around big mouth relatives until you are comfortable about discussing how you feel about things. If you choose to procrastinate on certain issues, know that the big mouth relative will not hesitate to share information about your past, present and future the moment he or she is left alone with your mate.
Some couples will argue or defend favorite relatives by saying things like, "Well, that's not what she meant...I don't know why she said that, but she is really a great person...He isn't so bad." But the truth is, most relatives and friends mean what they say, they don't need a public relations campaign for or against them. They are not interested in making friends with your lover or many lovers, they are more concerned about getting to know who these people are who you claim you care about and whether or not one of them is a keeper or all are losers.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make early on in your intimate relationship is to argue with your special someone about what a family member's feelings are concerning him or her. People usually can detect whether feelings behind one's smile are genuine or fake, so when a mate communicates, "I don't believe your mom really likes me..." after several times of being around her, most likely she doesn't.
Naive, gullible people who are more concerned about impressing people, rather than studying them, will assume that everyone likes them and wants to be their friend, but let us be reminded that family are just family. They are more concerned about a loved one's happiness then being best buddies, so be mindful of what you say to them.
Nicholl McGuire
So many girlfriends and boyfriends enter into families expecting to receive the same, if not better, treatment from their partner's family. They falsely assume that because they haven't been in any family wars with the in-laws that they will be treated like "one of the family." This phrase sounds nice in movies, but the reality is that maybe one or two of your mate's relatives might be open to embracing you like calling or visiting the two of you and really taking interest in who you are (and not necessarily what you have), but not most of your future inlaws. Therefore, they can't be trusted with private information about you or the status of your relationship with their loved one, so don't bother sharing deep feelings, whether written or verbal, because what you say might come back to haunt you one day. For instance, don't say something like, "I love her with all my heart and I will do almost anything to make sure she stays happy with me." Family won't forget.
When we feel comfortable around those "nice, polite," and "sweetheart" types of people, who don't appear like they could hurt a fly, we tend to talk too much. Grandma may act kind and Grandpa might be cordial too, but they just might have a dark side. Parents aren't always "cool" or "great to be around" so don't take the flattering statements too seriously. Chances are there are some things that your mate really doesn't want his or her family to know about your relationship, faith, upbringing, job, and more. It can be challenging to know what to say or what not to say when you don't talk to your mate about topics in advance. You wouldn't want to go to your girlfriend's or boyfriend's parents' home joining in on a conversation about how your mate can't cook, doesn't like to clean, and was good for nothing as a child. Imagine what the ride home will be like with your partner. If your relatives are mean-spirited, angry, bitter or have some sort of mental condition, don't hide these things say so. If your partner may not mesh very well with certain relatives then why bother bringing her or him to their setting? If you know you don't like your family for one reason or another, then deal with those issues without bringing someone you love into your mess. Warn him or her of those challenges you have with certain family members.There are relatives who don't mind telling everyone all about you both good and bad. You may not be ready to tell your mate everything about you, so it would make sense not to bring her or him around big mouth relatives until you are comfortable about discussing how you feel about things. If you choose to procrastinate on certain issues, know that the big mouth relative will not hesitate to share information about your past, present and future the moment he or she is left alone with your mate.
Some couples will argue or defend favorite relatives by saying things like, "Well, that's not what she meant...I don't know why she said that, but she is really a great person...He isn't so bad." But the truth is, most relatives and friends mean what they say, they don't need a public relations campaign for or against them. They are not interested in making friends with your lover or many lovers, they are more concerned about getting to know who these people are who you claim you care about and whether or not one of them is a keeper or all are losers.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make early on in your intimate relationship is to argue with your special someone about what a family member's feelings are concerning him or her. People usually can detect whether feelings behind one's smile are genuine or fake, so when a mate communicates, "I don't believe your mom really likes me..." after several times of being around her, most likely she doesn't.
Naive, gullible people who are more concerned about impressing people, rather than studying them, will assume that everyone likes them and wants to be their friend, but let us be reminded that family are just family. They are more concerned about a loved one's happiness then being best buddies, so be mindful of what you say to them.
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
When the Truth Hurts: How Long Do You Think Your Mate Will Keep Your Interest?
So the reality hits the older man like a ton of bricks being with the younger woman has been one of the many things he has done during his mid-life crisis that at times he regrets. Meanwhile, the younger woman has come to the realization that family and friends were right, she sincerely wanted a father figure in her life. So now that their harsh truths are staring them both in the face, now what? End the relationship? Not so fast. There are some feelings and possibly a child or two as a result of them being together. One can focus on the truth and plan an escape or learn from it while using it to build a better relationship with a stronger foundation.
Just how long a relationship will last between an enlightened mature man and a younger woman really can't be determined. It all depends on what they truly want from one another. Is longevity a possibility? Well if both look at the relationship as something that is very necessary to help them emotionally, physically and possibly spiritually so be it. But if one is carrying on with his or her partner, with frequent thoughts of break up, then it won't be long before those thoughts will manifest out of one's mouth.
Like a job, relationships must have dedicated parties who have a single objective that both can agree upon, the couple might desire to stay together by saying something like, "I seek a position in your life with the intentions on staying with you no matter what." Without a strong decree that both can live by and return to when trials come up, the relationship is on shaky ground. Both parties have to be willing to stay committed. If one notices that the other is not on board and is attempting to push him or her out of his or her life prematurely, one is starting a war that he or she may not be prepared to battle especially if this person still loves his or her partner. The individual who no longer believes in the relationship has to go through a break up process. It took some time to start a relationship and it will take some time to end it. Of course, disputes, name-calling and disrespect will cause individuals to act more quickly, but much damage may result particularly when children, material wealth and other things are involved.
You can find ways to stay interested in your younger or older partner if you both want to still remain together. But if one does and the other doesn't, don't waste your time, begin your process toward freedom, seeking needed time for self while creating a future that welcomes someone in your life that does want to be with you. The following are ways to keep love alive for those who have looked beyond the early reasons as to why they got together, and are now seeking some new reasons as to why they should stay together. They include:
1. Planning outings together and apart. Consider taking some time together and away from one another to think about what this person means to you and what you can do to better your relationship.
2. Watching romantic movies and listening to loving music together can also rekindle romance.
3. Church attendance, praying together and participating in bible studies or other positive group settings will bring you closer to your Creator which will ultimately help you make wise decisions.
4. Traveling to new places locally and elsewhere. You never know what new things you will discover about your mate if you are getting out and about.
5. Relocating. Sometimes environments can cause unnecessary stress on the relationship like living in cramped spaces or a chaotic neighborhood.
6. Counseling. Whether relationship, individual or spiritual, it helps to free yourself from past emotional ties, generational curses, etc. that keep you from going in a positive direction both personally and professionally.
7. Socializing with family and friends. Creating events that include positive family and friends who are in support of the two of you being together or visiting good role models who have quality relationships.
8. Tackling a "To Do" List. Sometimes the stress we experience in a relationship has nothing to do with the person, but everything to do with things we are not doing but we promised ourselves we would do. Putting off health appointments, not exercising or eating healthy, avoiding necessary paperwork regarding business issues, not cleaning or organizing one's home, and procrastinating on other issues will not make you the best person to be around. When a problem keeps coming up in your mind, body, spirit, or environment, you deal with it, don't look at your partner!
Nicholl McGuire
Think of some other things you could do to keep love alive, stress down, and overall live a little while longer!
Just how long a relationship will last between an enlightened mature man and a younger woman really can't be determined. It all depends on what they truly want from one another. Is longevity a possibility? Well if both look at the relationship as something that is very necessary to help them emotionally, physically and possibly spiritually so be it. But if one is carrying on with his or her partner, with frequent thoughts of break up, then it won't be long before those thoughts will manifest out of one's mouth.
Like a job, relationships must have dedicated parties who have a single objective that both can agree upon, the couple might desire to stay together by saying something like, "I seek a position in your life with the intentions on staying with you no matter what." Without a strong decree that both can live by and return to when trials come up, the relationship is on shaky ground. Both parties have to be willing to stay committed. If one notices that the other is not on board and is attempting to push him or her out of his or her life prematurely, one is starting a war that he or she may not be prepared to battle especially if this person still loves his or her partner. The individual who no longer believes in the relationship has to go through a break up process. It took some time to start a relationship and it will take some time to end it. Of course, disputes, name-calling and disrespect will cause individuals to act more quickly, but much damage may result particularly when children, material wealth and other things are involved.
You can find ways to stay interested in your younger or older partner if you both want to still remain together. But if one does and the other doesn't, don't waste your time, begin your process toward freedom, seeking needed time for self while creating a future that welcomes someone in your life that does want to be with you. The following are ways to keep love alive for those who have looked beyond the early reasons as to why they got together, and are now seeking some new reasons as to why they should stay together. They include:
1. Planning outings together and apart. Consider taking some time together and away from one another to think about what this person means to you and what you can do to better your relationship.
2. Watching romantic movies and listening to loving music together can also rekindle romance.
3. Church attendance, praying together and participating in bible studies or other positive group settings will bring you closer to your Creator which will ultimately help you make wise decisions.
4. Traveling to new places locally and elsewhere. You never know what new things you will discover about your mate if you are getting out and about.
5. Relocating. Sometimes environments can cause unnecessary stress on the relationship like living in cramped spaces or a chaotic neighborhood.
6. Counseling. Whether relationship, individual or spiritual, it helps to free yourself from past emotional ties, generational curses, etc. that keep you from going in a positive direction both personally and professionally.
7. Socializing with family and friends. Creating events that include positive family and friends who are in support of the two of you being together or visiting good role models who have quality relationships.
8. Tackling a "To Do" List. Sometimes the stress we experience in a relationship has nothing to do with the person, but everything to do with things we are not doing but we promised ourselves we would do. Putting off health appointments, not exercising or eating healthy, avoiding necessary paperwork regarding business issues, not cleaning or organizing one's home, and procrastinating on other issues will not make you the best person to be around. When a problem keeps coming up in your mind, body, spirit, or environment, you deal with it, don't look at your partner!
Nicholl McGuire
Think of some other things you could do to keep love alive, stress down, and overall live a little while longer!
Wednesday
A Desire to Meet the Needs of the Little Girl/ Little Boy Within
Some mature older men don’t know what
they are getting themselves into when choosing to date someone 10
plus years younger. He doesn’t realize that there are many young
women in this world with little girls inside of them that need their
father’s attention. No matter what he does, the mature, older man
cannot fill the void. The little girl within desires a father
figure, someone who can tend to her needs, but her father failed her
during childhood when he gave her no attention, affection or
communication. Dad left his little girl out in the cold with a
desire to be loved and deemed worthy in someone's eyes.
Nicholl McGuire recorded her thoughts on the Sugar Baby, Sugar Daddy relationship and shares insight here.
An often busy father, who is
emotionally unavailable and who doesn’t bother to figure out his
own issues in life, recreates another unhappy mini-me. Most likely,
his own father wasn’t there for him, so somehow in his mind he
reasons, “It’s okay;” therefore, he repeats the cycle. No
communication plus no affection equals no relationship--it’s just
that simple! Children need the attention and affection of both
parents. Otherwise, they go through life seeking fulfillment in
things like: sex, a baby, a partner, religion or something else. A
child turned adult who still desires a relationship with a certain
parent tends to make unwise decisions centered on those unfulfilled
needs. In time, he or she is abusing substances to fill the void while
having many regrets.
An older man dating a younger woman is
not expected to be everything to a younger woman and shouldn’t put
himself in that position either. Some older men falsely assume that
if they give their younger partners everything they want that the
relationship will be okay. Unfortunately, things without human
affection and communication do nothing more than impede progress.
Rather than focusing on two human beings building a relationship
together, the couple are talking or arguing about selfish needs and
wants, “I need for you to be...I want you to do...Why can't I get
you to see...?”
An older man must recognize the needs
of a younger woman, but at the same time refrain from being a father
figure to her. Even if she says, “You act like my dad…” be
sure that you are not purposely performing like her dad, because you
might believe you are helping out the little girl within. The little
girl remains inside the younger woman as long as she continues to
nurture her and give her everything that she never had; however, that
little girl can also turn into a spoiled girl who lacks self-control,
discipline, and just might cause a firestorm of problems in the
relationship if left un-checked.
The younger woman has to come to a
point in her life to let the little girl go. She will be much
happier if she doesn’t keep reliving the past through people,
places and things. She may even have to go so far as to make peace
with the fact that her father is not ever going to look at the
mistakes he has made over the years, make peace with her, and do
what’s right for the remaining part of his life. It’s
unfortunate, but some men will never change no matter how much you do
or not do for them.
An older man must be wise when
relating to the fatherless younger woman and not only listen, but
address his younger partner’s concerns while reminding her, “I’m
not your dad. I love you and will do the best I can to help you, but
remember I am not your dad.”
There are some older men that have many
issues that they are grappling with because they too have a little
person within who desires a mother or father’s attention. Some
mature men have a history of dating older women because they wanted a
mother figure, because they lacked a relationship with their own
mothers. Some date younger because they want to do all the things
they didn’t get to do when they were in their youth. These men
falsely assume that tapping into the fountain of youth, so to speak,
will make them feel good about living. They learn quickly that no
matter who they date, young or old, rich or poor, no one can give the
little boy within them peace. They too must learn to let go of their
boyish desires and focus on being the man that they were destined to
be.
Letting go of the little girl or little
boy within us is something that most people who become adults don’t
realize they are feeding until they go through a series of
relationship trials. Eventually those, who have learned the hard
way, reach a conclusion that something within them is very much
wrong. The little person inside could be any of the following:
often dissatisfied in personal and professional relationships,
emotionally detached, angry, bitter, jealous, or having some other
emotional issue. If anyone of these issues describe you, you might
want to start a process of cleansing one’s closet of emotions
beginning with taking down all those childhood things that you might
have displayed around your room, office and elsewhere. Reminding
yourself daily about your childhood will not help you grow; rather,
you will find that you are not permitting yourself to mature because
you fear you might lose something if you should let go of your little
person within. There is no guarantee that you will start to feel
okay as you embark on this journey to free yourself childhood woes,
but it is a start.
You and that one you are with will also
have to stop looking back. For example, your young partner might
think that going back home to mom and dad will bring peace when times
are rough, but most often it doesn’t; rather the young woman only
feeds the little girl she is supposed to be ridding herself of. It
is rare that people change. Rather than experiencing true freedom,
the young woman finds herself opening up old wounds the longer she
stays with parents. If you no longer have your parents, but
inherited a host of emotional issues, you might consider letting go
of relics, keepsakes and other mementos that are not aiding you
emotionally or physically. Sometimes things we hold on to of others
only set us back. Somehow we feel like we must take responsibility
for all that comes with those things.
If you have a faith, you know you are
called to be free not to be burdened by others’ issues. So if a
person, place or thing doesn’t help you, say goodbye. Another
thing you or your loved one might want to consider is limiting phone
calls when it comes to connecting with those who have hurt you in the
past and have no interest in changing either ie.) parents, relatives
and childhood friends. Those who are closest to you can hinder you
emotionally, spiritually etc. and eventually impact your relationship
negatively. It is very hard to let go of that little person within
if you keep permitting her or him to call a critical relative or
friend every time an issue comes up in your relationship, at work,
church, or elsewhere. Is it really necessary to get parents
involved? Does your sibling really care about who you are with and
whether you two make it?
Finally, think about all those things
that you wear, say, and do that have a direct connection to
childhood. From gaming devices to dolls, the more you collect,
whether for yourself or through a child, the more you keep the little
girl and boy within alive. When childhood desires affect your
well-being, your personal relationships, and other important areas of
your life, you have to say, “I love you little girl/boy inside of
me, but it is time for us to part our ways. I give you to the
Almighty Creator and in his arms you will be safe.” Visualize a
picture of yourself from childhood being placed in the arms of your
creator and he/she ascending to heaven. At first, your little person
within will be happy to be free from miserable you, but he/she might
find a way to come back if you continue to do the things that keep
him/her close to you.
To some, you might find the little girl
or little boy concept a bit strange, but I can assure you that it is
what affects many relationships and prevents them from growing. Who
wants to be with a grown man who has boyish issues or who wants to be
with a grown woman who still has little girl daddy woes? Start the
journey and let the little people within go so that you can have a
healthy, functional relationship!
Nicholl McGuire recorded her thoughts on the Sugar Baby, Sugar Daddy relationship and shares insight here.
Tuesday
The Irritable Male Syndrome, Why Midlife Men Turn Mean
I couldn't help but share the following links, because in my experience being around older men, I have found that at a certain point in their lives usually 40 plus, many become easily irritated and downright mean. Some simply can't help themselves, while others know how they are behaving, but don't care or quickly find excuses for their short responses and anger outbursts.
There is nothing nice or sweet about a middle-aged man who is often mean-spirited at home, but totally different at his workplace. However, in time, the two worlds will collide and unfortunately there will be no winners in the end. The tempermental often forgetful man may lose his job, family, friends, and more as a result of his fluctuating hormones due to things like: a lack of exercise, poor eating habits, and an avoidance of vitamins, herbal remedies, or prescription medicines for his conditions.
If you are an older man who is suffering with forgetfulness, moodiness, erectile dysfunction, hot flashes, and more, get some help. If you are with someone like this, make up in your mind whether you are going to direct him to some assistance and support him through these challenging times or leave. But whatever you do, don't Labor to Love an Abusive Mate! Click on the links.
The Irritable Male Syndrome, Why Midlife Men Turn Mean
There is nothing nice or sweet about a middle-aged man who is often mean-spirited at home, but totally different at his workplace. However, in time, the two worlds will collide and unfortunately there will be no winners in the end. The tempermental often forgetful man may lose his job, family, friends, and more as a result of his fluctuating hormones due to things like: a lack of exercise, poor eating habits, and an avoidance of vitamins, herbal remedies, or prescription medicines for his conditions.
If you are an older man who is suffering with forgetfulness, moodiness, erectile dysfunction, hot flashes, and more, get some help. If you are with someone like this, make up in your mind whether you are going to direct him to some assistance and support him through these challenging times or leave. But whatever you do, don't Labor to Love an Abusive Mate! Click on the links.
The Irritable Male Syndrome, Why Midlife Men Turn Mean
BBC - Newsbeat - Health - Age gap relationships: Good or bad?
It all depends on who you ask. Read more:
BBC - Newsbeat - Health - Age gap relationships: Good or bad?
BBC - Newsbeat - Health - Age gap relationships: Good or bad?
Most Older Men Don't Want the Younger Woman, He Just Likes to Flirt
Can you tell the difference between an older man who is simply flirting with no strings attached and one who is very interested in dating a younger woman? Some women can't tell while some men couldn't care less--that is unless the young woman is his daughter. There are those young women who falsely assume that any man who visits the drive thru window at a fast food restaurant one too many times in a day to order something with a smile on their faces are interested in them. Others worry that certain men who talk or laugh too long would like to date. The thought for some young women never crosses their mind, the mature man has someone already and is just being nice.
When one is desperate for attention, believes that she can gain something (for nothing) or hopes to find that partner to complete her through a moment of laughter and a wink, she appears weak and silly. Some men like to travel the same route everyday going to and from work, eat at the same restaurant, or shop at the same store. Their frequent visits doesn't always mean he wants the young woman taking his order or ringing the cash register even though their are some men who do these things hoping to make a connection.
A young woman, who mistakes a friendly exchange as something more, might flirt with the mature man, inquire about his personal life, or assume that he might be "the one." Some men, who don't clearly draw the line, will fall for that young woman and eventually destroy their families. So much lost all because a series of friendly encounters grew into a temptation with dire consequences.
Young women as well as older men must pay attention to what signs they might be sending to one another. Mature unavailable men, consider changing up routines when you see that certain women are beginning to act in ways that say, "I'm interested." Single young women, be mindful of that flirtacious male's wedding band, photographs, the children riding in his car, the presence of a woman now and then walking or riding with him, or references he makes about "my wife...my family...my girlfriend." Put yourself in his shoes, would you break up your family for a lover?
Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry
When one is desperate for attention, believes that she can gain something (for nothing) or hopes to find that partner to complete her through a moment of laughter and a wink, she appears weak and silly. Some men like to travel the same route everyday going to and from work, eat at the same restaurant, or shop at the same store. Their frequent visits doesn't always mean he wants the young woman taking his order or ringing the cash register even though their are some men who do these things hoping to make a connection.
A young woman, who mistakes a friendly exchange as something more, might flirt with the mature man, inquire about his personal life, or assume that he might be "the one." Some men, who don't clearly draw the line, will fall for that young woman and eventually destroy their families. So much lost all because a series of friendly encounters grew into a temptation with dire consequences.
Young women as well as older men must pay attention to what signs they might be sending to one another. Mature unavailable men, consider changing up routines when you see that certain women are beginning to act in ways that say, "I'm interested." Single young women, be mindful of that flirtacious male's wedding band, photographs, the children riding in his car, the presence of a woman now and then walking or riding with him, or references he makes about "my wife...my family...my girlfriend." Put yourself in his shoes, would you break up your family for a lover?
Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry
Deception: When the pretty woman, nice man turns ugly
Don't ever feel so comfortable with an older man that you, younger woman, feel as if you can let yourself go. And older man, don't feel that a younger woman will stick around just because you promise to take care of her while pretending you are taking care of yourself. In both situations, you will be found out sooner or later!
Most experts will tell you that men are visual creatures who like to look at attractive women. Well, I will have to say that women like to look at nice looking men too, but beauty isn't high on our list. We can date unattractive men as long as they have other things that attract us to them like a nice body, voice, intelligent, kind, caring, etc. With that said, a younger woman who thinks that she can go from a 10 to a 5 while dating an older man who she feels comfortable with is going to find herself in trouble one day like an ugly, nice man thinking that it's okay to start acting mean now that he has the pretty woman.
How you begin a dating relationship is going to set the foundation for the future. People lose interest quickly when the packaged goods is not what they expected they would be once they have invested in them. If the younger woman advertises, "Fun and sexy with no strings attached." What do you think that older man who stumbles across her profile is going to want from the day he meets her and beyond? So a future of marriage, not likely, if she so desires that kind of relationship with him one day. If the younger woman displays an ad that says, "Christian single seeking an older man who loves God..." She is going to expect that older man to have a faith and attend church with her. Now if he starts going to the club or bar, the relationship is over.
We must be careful what messages we convey to others especially if we are seeking our ideal mate. We also have to be willing to keep up with our image as best we can. The people who have the hardest time maintaining who they are and what they represent are those who are not sincerely what they claim to be. If the older man claims that he is active and outgoing in the beginning of th dating relationship, yet when he starts dating the younger woman, she discovers he is the total opposite of what he says, the younger woman is going to feel deceived and call him out on his false advertising. Why lie or cover who you really are? Why point the finger back at someone when busted in a lie?
The best advice anyone can take from this blog entry is to be on your best behavior while dating, but also stay true to who you are! One shouldn't have to find out the hard way that someone sold them a bag of goods just to get immediate needs met. The pretty woman should stay pretty for as long as she can. The ugly man should stay nice for as long as he can. Don't change the script, so to speak, without telling your date in advance so that he or she won't be shocked. Far too many women wear fake items to enhance their beauty and far too many older men take medicines that make their bodies behave in ways that are unreal. Once all the glitz and glamour and male enhancements wear off, you are left with your true self! Now who is deceiving who?
Nicholl McGuire
Most experts will tell you that men are visual creatures who like to look at attractive women. Well, I will have to say that women like to look at nice looking men too, but beauty isn't high on our list. We can date unattractive men as long as they have other things that attract us to them like a nice body, voice, intelligent, kind, caring, etc. With that said, a younger woman who thinks that she can go from a 10 to a 5 while dating an older man who she feels comfortable with is going to find herself in trouble one day like an ugly, nice man thinking that it's okay to start acting mean now that he has the pretty woman.
How you begin a dating relationship is going to set the foundation for the future. People lose interest quickly when the packaged goods is not what they expected they would be once they have invested in them. If the younger woman advertises, "Fun and sexy with no strings attached." What do you think that older man who stumbles across her profile is going to want from the day he meets her and beyond? So a future of marriage, not likely, if she so desires that kind of relationship with him one day. If the younger woman displays an ad that says, "Christian single seeking an older man who loves God..." She is going to expect that older man to have a faith and attend church with her. Now if he starts going to the club or bar, the relationship is over.
We must be careful what messages we convey to others especially if we are seeking our ideal mate. We also have to be willing to keep up with our image as best we can. The people who have the hardest time maintaining who they are and what they represent are those who are not sincerely what they claim to be. If the older man claims that he is active and outgoing in the beginning of th dating relationship, yet when he starts dating the younger woman, she discovers he is the total opposite of what he says, the younger woman is going to feel deceived and call him out on his false advertising. Why lie or cover who you really are? Why point the finger back at someone when busted in a lie?
The best advice anyone can take from this blog entry is to be on your best behavior while dating, but also stay true to who you are! One shouldn't have to find out the hard way that someone sold them a bag of goods just to get immediate needs met. The pretty woman should stay pretty for as long as she can. The ugly man should stay nice for as long as he can. Don't change the script, so to speak, without telling your date in advance so that he or she won't be shocked. Far too many women wear fake items to enhance their beauty and far too many older men take medicines that make their bodies behave in ways that are unreal. Once all the glitz and glamour and male enhancements wear off, you are left with your true self! Now who is deceiving who?
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
What Does Age Have to Do With It?
So many looks, comments, eye rolls, and more just because someone decides to date younger, a different ethnicity, religion, or income bracket (sigh). When will people learn that there is more to life than their personal experiences? When will people understand that not everyone desires "to stick with their own kind." Most people who have all sorts of hang ups with what others are doing intimately unfortunately don't have a satisfying life. They are either secretly jealous because they can't be with someone that looks even half as fine as the person you are with. They are bitter because they have to work long hours while their mate doesn't bother to do much in the area of finances. The reasons are simply endless as to why people, who are typically bored in their own relationships, feel the need to want to negatively contribute to the lives of others. So how do you keep your head above water so that you are not that one who is alone, jealous, and simply mad that you messed up a good thing because you took advice from a negative individual?
One. Avoid getting mixed up with narrow-minded people who have a twisted mentality when it comes to love, dating, etc. It doesn't matter whether this person is your mother or your best friend, don't listen to someone who cares more about voicing his or her out-dated, ignorant opinions than your personal happiness. The strongest relationships survive because they keep busybodies out!
Two. Don't take yourself, faith, political view, children, job, or anything else so seriously to the point that you miss out on cultivating a great relationship with your partner. If your children, your job and everything else mean the world to you, then you need not look to be in a relationship for long. Intimate relationships thrive on attention and when a partner sees that everyone and everything else is more important, he or she will start thinking about the grass being greener on the other side. It doesn't matter how young, cute, physically fit, or how much money you have, if you don't have time to emotionally and physically connect with your partner then you don't have time for a relationship.
Three. Bring more than meets the eye to your relationship. There are plenty of people in this world that have flashy, nice, sexy, good, exciting things that they care for, drive, build, and do much with, but after awhile things get old. Look beyond what you see. Is there a man or woman in front of you that has more going on besides what they wear and what they do? Part of being in a relationship is discovering the wonderful truths about a person along with how might you be able to help your loved one with the not-so nice stuff.
In closing, do think about the things that make you want to be with your mate beyond this year--that's right plan for the future. What kind of person is this that is worth your time and affection? Are your feelings being reciprocated? Is there someone else who you think would be a better match? Why are you in a relationship with this person? When you can answer questions like this and more, then you know you are on a path toward a committed, serious relationship. But if you find yourself turned off with questions like these or avoid them, then you are not ready to settle down. It would be best to communicate your feelings to your partner only if you believe your mate is hoping for something more with you. But if you aren't completely sure about your feelings, don't say anything until you are prepared for the consequences--good or bad.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.
One. Avoid getting mixed up with narrow-minded people who have a twisted mentality when it comes to love, dating, etc. It doesn't matter whether this person is your mother or your best friend, don't listen to someone who cares more about voicing his or her out-dated, ignorant opinions than your personal happiness. The strongest relationships survive because they keep busybodies out!
Two. Don't take yourself, faith, political view, children, job, or anything else so seriously to the point that you miss out on cultivating a great relationship with your partner. If your children, your job and everything else mean the world to you, then you need not look to be in a relationship for long. Intimate relationships thrive on attention and when a partner sees that everyone and everything else is more important, he or she will start thinking about the grass being greener on the other side. It doesn't matter how young, cute, physically fit, or how much money you have, if you don't have time to emotionally and physically connect with your partner then you don't have time for a relationship.
Three. Bring more than meets the eye to your relationship. There are plenty of people in this world that have flashy, nice, sexy, good, exciting things that they care for, drive, build, and do much with, but after awhile things get old. Look beyond what you see. Is there a man or woman in front of you that has more going on besides what they wear and what they do? Part of being in a relationship is discovering the wonderful truths about a person along with how might you be able to help your loved one with the not-so nice stuff.
In closing, do think about the things that make you want to be with your mate beyond this year--that's right plan for the future. What kind of person is this that is worth your time and affection? Are your feelings being reciprocated? Is there someone else who you think would be a better match? Why are you in a relationship with this person? When you can answer questions like this and more, then you know you are on a path toward a committed, serious relationship. But if you find yourself turned off with questions like these or avoid them, then you are not ready to settle down. It would be best to communicate your feelings to your partner only if you believe your mate is hoping for something more with you. But if you aren't completely sure about your feelings, don't say anything until you are prepared for the consequences--good or bad.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.
Wednesday
A List of Older Dating Younger in Entertainment Industry
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