Thursday

What Does Age Have to Do With It?

So many looks, comments, eye rolls, and more just because someone decides to date younger, a different ethnicity, religion, or income bracket (sigh).  When will people learn that there is more to life than their personal experiences?  When will people understand that not everyone desires "to stick with their own kind."  Most people who have all sorts of hang ups with what others are doing intimately unfortunately don't have a satisfying life.  They are either secretly jealous because they can't be with someone that looks even half as fine as the person you are with.  They are bitter because they have to work long hours while their mate doesn't bother to do much in the area of finances.  The reasons are simply endless as to why people, who are typically bored in their own relationships, feel the need to want to negatively contribute to the lives of others.  So how do you keep your head above water so that you are not that one who is alone, jealous, and simply mad that you messed up a good thing because you took advice from a negative individual?

One.  Avoid getting mixed up with narrow-minded people who have a twisted mentality when it comes to love, dating, etc.  It doesn't matter whether this person is your mother or your best friend, don't listen to someone who cares more about voicing his or her out-dated, ignorant opinions than your personal happiness.  The strongest relationships survive because they keep busybodies out!

Two.  Don't take yourself, faith, political view, children, job, or anything else so seriously to the point that you miss out on cultivating a great relationship with your partner.  If your children, your job and everything else mean the world to you, then you need not look to be in a relationship for long.  Intimate relationships thrive on attention and when a partner sees that everyone and everything else is more important, he or she will start thinking about the grass being greener on the other side.  It doesn't matter how young, cute, physically fit, or how much money you have, if you don't have time to emotionally and physically connect with your partner then you don't have time for a relationship.

Three.  Bring more than meets the eye to your relationship.  There are plenty of people in this world that have flashy, nice, sexy, good, exciting things that they care for, drive, build, and do much with, but after awhile things get old.  Look beyond what you see.  Is there a man or woman in front of you that has more going on besides what they wear and what they do?  Part of being in a relationship is discovering the wonderful truths about a person along with how might you be able to help your loved one with the not-so nice stuff. 

In closing, do think about the things that make you want to be with your mate beyond this year--that's right plan for the future.  What kind of person is this that is worth your time and affection?  Are your feelings being reciprocated?  Is there someone else who you think would be a better match?  Why are you in a relationship with this person?  When you can answer questions like this and more, then you know you are on a path toward a committed, serious relationship.  But if you  find yourself turned off with questions like these or avoid them, then you are not ready to settle down.  It would be best to communicate your feelings to your partner only if you believe your mate is hoping for something more with you.  But if you aren't completely sure about your feelings, don't say anything until you are prepared for the consequences--good or bad.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

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