Thursday

When the Truth Hurts: How Long Do You Think Your Mate Will Keep Your Interest?

So the reality hits the older man like a ton of bricks being with the younger woman has been one of the many things he has done during his mid-life crisis that at times he regrets.  Meanwhile, the younger woman has come to the realization that family and friends were right, she sincerely wanted a father figure in her life.  So now that their harsh truths are staring them both in the face, now what?  End the relationship?  Not so fast.  There are some feelings and possibly a child or two as a result of them being together.  One can focus on the truth and plan an escape or learn from it while using it to build a better relationship with a stronger foundation. 

Just how long a relationship will last between an enlightened mature man and a younger woman really can't be determined.  It all depends on what they truly want from one another.  Is longevity a possibility?  Well if both look at the relationship as something that is very necessary to help them emotionally, physically and possibly spiritually so be it.  But if one is carrying on with his or her partner, with frequent thoughts of break up, then it won't be long before those thoughts will manifest out of one's mouth.

Like a job, relationships must have dedicated parties who have a single objective that both can agree upon, the couple might desire to stay together by saying something like, "I seek a position in your life with the intentions on staying with you no matter what."  Without a strong decree that both can live by and return to when trials come up, the relationship is on shaky ground.  Both parties have to be willing to stay committed.  If one notices that the other is not on board and is attempting to push him or her out of his or her life prematurely, one is starting a war that he or she may not be prepared to battle especially if this person still loves his or her partner.  The individual who no longer believes in the relationship has to go through a break up process.  It took some time to start a relationship and it will take some time to end it.  Of course, disputes, name-calling and disrespect will cause individuals to act more quickly, but much damage may result particularly when children, material wealth and other things are involved.

You can find ways to stay interested in your younger or older partner if you both want to still remain together.  But if one does and the other doesn't, don't waste your time, begin your process toward freedom, seeking needed time for self while creating a future that welcomes someone in your life that does want to be with you.  The following are ways to keep love alive for those who have looked beyond the early reasons as to why they got together, and are now seeking some new reasons as to why they should stay together.  They include:

1.  Planning outings together and apart.  Consider taking some time together and away from one another to think about what this person means to you and what you can do to better your relationship.
2.  Watching romantic movies and listening to loving music together can also rekindle romance.
3.  Church attendance, praying together and participating in bible studies or other positive group settings  will bring you closer to your Creator which will ultimately help you make wise decisions.
4.  Traveling to new places locally and elsewhere.  You never know what new things you will discover about your mate if you are getting out and about.
5.  Relocating.  Sometimes environments can cause unnecessary stress on the relationship like living in cramped spaces or a chaotic neighborhood.
6.  Counseling.  Whether relationship, individual or spiritual, it helps to free yourself from past emotional ties, generational curses, etc. that keep you from going in a positive direction both personally and professionally.
7.  Socializing with family and friends.  Creating events that include positive family and friends who are in support of the two of you being together or visiting good role models who have quality relationships.
8.  Tackling a "To Do" List.  Sometimes the stress we experience in a relationship has nothing to do with the person, but everything to do with things we are not doing but we promised ourselves we would do.  Putting off health appointments, not exercising or eating healthy, avoiding necessary paperwork regarding business issues, not cleaning or organizing one's home, and procrastinating on other issues will not make you the best person to be around.  When a problem keeps coming up in your mind, body, spirit, or environment, you deal with it, don't look at your partner!

Nicholl McGuire

Think of some other things you could do to keep love alive, stress down, and overall live a little while longer!

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