Tuesday

Deception: When the pretty woman, nice man turns ugly

Don't ever feel so comfortable with an older man that you, younger woman, feel as if you can let yourself go.  And older man, don't feel that a younger woman will stick around just because you promise to take care of her while pretending you are taking care of yourself.  In both situations, you will be found out sooner or later! 

Most experts will tell you that men are visual creatures who like to look at attractive women.  Well, I will have to say that women like to look at nice looking men too, but beauty isn't high on our list.  We can date unattractive men as long as they have other things that attract us to them like a nice body, voice, intelligent, kind, caring, etc.  With that said, a younger woman who thinks that she can go from a 10 to a 5 while dating an older man who she feels comfortable with is going to find herself in trouble one day like an ugly, nice man thinking that it's okay to start acting mean now that he has the pretty woman.

How you begin a dating relationship is going to set the foundation for the future.  People lose interest quickly when the packaged goods is not what they expected they would be once they have invested in them.  If the younger woman advertises, "Fun and sexy with no strings attached."  What do you think that older man who stumbles across her profile is going to want from the day he meets her and beyond?  So a future of marriage, not likely, if she so desires that kind of relationship with him one day.  If the younger woman displays an ad that says, "Christian single seeking an older man who loves God..." She is going to expect that older man to have a faith and attend church with her.  Now if he starts going to the club or bar, the relationship is over. 

We must be careful what messages we convey to others especially if we are seeking our ideal mate.  We also have to be willing to keep up with our image as best we can.  The people who have the hardest time maintaining who they are and what they represent are those who are not sincerely what they claim to be.  If the older man claims that he is active and outgoing in the beginning of th dating relationship, yet when he starts dating the younger woman, she discovers he is the total opposite of what he says, the younger woman is going to feel deceived and call him out on his false advertising.  Why lie or cover who you really are?  Why point the finger back at someone when busted in a lie?

The best advice anyone can take from this blog entry is to be on your best behavior while dating, but also stay true to who you are!  One shouldn't have to find out the hard way that someone sold them a bag of goods just to get immediate needs met.  The pretty woman should stay pretty for as long as she can.  The ugly man should stay nice for as long as he can.  Don't change the script, so to speak, without telling your date in advance so that he or she won't be shocked.  Far too many women wear fake items to enhance their beauty and far too many older men take medicines that make their bodies behave in ways that are unreal.  Once all the glitz and glamour and male enhancements wear off, you are left with your true self!  Now who is deceiving who?

Nicholl McGuire

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