Thursday

Ashamed to Date Older Men, Younger Women

It started off as a good idea, there was one, then two, maybe three older dates or younger ones in the past.  But then, the feelings of shame, regret and other emotions started to grow and they wouldn't leave while some dated those half their age or older/younger.  So he stopped dating youthful women and she stopped dating older.

Some of you reading this, may have had similar experiences dating older or younger and you have your share of regrets.  But lately, you may have thought about doing it again.  Be sure, be really sure this time!  Hearts get broken so easily, time and money get wasted and in the end you find yourself back at square one (sigh).  Like an interracial, same sex, mixed religious or political party relationship, the challenges will be there, yet love must conquer all!

There is a certain degree of shame that one might experience being with someone older or younger especially when appearances are a dead give away.  Passerbyers will let their thoughts show up on faces that are not in agreement.  Uncomfortable feelings will surface as you look at that younger or older partner standing, sitting or walking next to you.  But one must fight those emotions if he or she wants to remain in a relationship. 

The mature man isn't going to be as attractive as the younger men a woman might have dated the older he gets. And she isn't going to stay young and vibrant forever.  Whatever the issue, just know that your date is a human being with feelings that grow like flowers--not a mindless sexy character on the Internet or in a video game. 

If you are sincerely ready to date younger or older again, then know what is ahead and how you will respond to those trials, but tell yourself, "Running is not an option unless we simply have nothing in common."  Otherwise, enjoy your new friend no matter the age and be open to love and change!

Nicholl McGuire author Laboring to Love Myself.

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