Thursday

Their Not My Grandchildren...

It happens, mature fathers being mistaken for grandparents of young babies and children.  "Your grandchildren are so cute and well-behaved..." the passer-byer says.  "Not my grandchildren, their mine..."  says the mature dad.

Have you been guilty of falsely assuming that someone older was a grandparent instead of a parent?  Maybe this has happened to you or your mate.  You may have experienced negative emotions as a result.  For some men, it makes them feel old, but for others they just might need a humble moment such as this if they have been guilty of deceiving themselves into thinking they are young. Meanwhile, other men couldn't care less what someone says, and will write their comments off along with everything else, "It happens, so what."

Yet the grandchildren comment is one of those incidents in life that one might want to use to motivate himself to be the best dad he can possibly be during his remaining years.  Why waste valuable moments of fatherhood chasing after selfish interests like many young dads?  Someone or a group of individuals reminded you through their comments, "You are a father" irregardless.  But some men, don't adjust well to their roles while others don't act like it.  These older fathers refuse to embrace the fact that they aren't 20 or 30 plus anymore. 

Being with a younger woman doesn't make an insecure older man look or feel any younger as he gets older, if anything, it just might remind him of how he should have, could have done some things differently in the past.  However, children are here now, so one might as well plan a quality, pro-active life with everyone even if he isn't as youthful as he once was--no excuses.  The man will have to eat properly, exercise, take supplements, and keep up--in more ways than one!  The realization that his family is younger and he is older is a reality check that can help him progress or regress depending on how much he can look outside of himself.  Having a young family and caring for them, is an unselfish act which many working mature men or retirees don't always accept or appreciate.  They see bills, more than thrills and the idea of commitment gives them the chills--lol!  For some, they rather act as if the young woman and children don't exist, a mistake that they wish they could erase. 

A mature father that is secretly unhappy with his life choices might want to consider start living life in such a way his children won't grow up one day carrying feelings of resentment.  "Dad really wasn't into us...dad loved his work more than us...I wish we had a younger dad at least he would play with us..."  You may have thought such things about your own father.

If you do live to see your grandchildren, what stories might you tell about your sons and daughters?  What have you learned so far about life?  How might you do things better moving forward? 

No matter how many people mistake you for being a grand-dad, know that what really matters is how much you love and care for your children--putting all titles aside.

Nicholl McGuire



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