On Ending a Miserable Relationship

A man tells a woman that he is in love with her, wants the pair to move in together, and promises to marry her and have children with his special lady one day.  The woman is excited about the future.  She tells her friends just how much her new man has made her happy.  The two plan dates on when to move-in together and discuss a future date for a wedding.  It all appears normal, right?

As the relationship matures, the couple begins to notice things about one another’s personalities that turn them off.  The man is easily angered over small things like how his partner organizes things and how often she visits with her family.  The woman isn’t happy about the way her mate talks to her when he needs something and isn’t fond of how he smells.  In time, the little issues grow into bigger ones and the two break up.  The former couple moves on with their lives.

During the process of breaking up, like the couple described previously, many individuals don't do anything about the anger still within after disputes.  Communication might have left one another feeling disrespected.  Offensive comments said by relatives and friends might have caused conflict.  Bad relationships don't end up on any road toward forgiveness.  Unfortunately, future daters coming along don’t know about the rude awakening that is sure to come when one is still not over his or her ex or other past partners.

Ending a miserable relationship is not something that happens easily when feelings are still apparent between the pair, but it can be done successfully if one doesn't fall back into the arms of the one who is hurting him or her. 

1.  Find some time to be alone.  Ponder on the things that have made you so unhappy in the relationship.

2.  Talk with loved ones about how you feel in the relationship and consider their advice.

3.  Don't spend much time with a partner you are strongly thinking about breaking up with, this will only cause confusion.  You want to be clear with him or her that you are unhappy.

4.  Expect your date to act ugly during this time when you both aren't getting along, so be sure you safeguard your personal possessions and you alert necessary parties about a crazy ex.

5.  Whatever you do, don't play the make up to break up game because you will only prolong the break up process.

6.  As much as you want to believe someone has changed, the change he or she claims is temporary.  Most people are who they are and can't easily go from being a mean-spirited person to a sweetheart overnight unless their rage was substance induced.  

Working toward a happy ending for you is the best way to end a relationship.  You are no longer thinking of "We" but "I."  You recognize that a miserable connection is not what you want and so you do what it takes to free you of your mistake.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues, She's Crazy, and Laboring to Love Myself