Do Some Say You Are Wise? Your Date Might Not Appreciate Wisdom

Nowadays lighthearted, silly statements in videos, movies and songs seem to get the popular vote.  For many, life is just too dull, serious, routine, and so on.  So single daters seek a pick me up whether that be in a person, place or thing.  However, what daters should seek is love and wisdom above moments of laughter. 

Many young people who haven’t experienced much in life such as: long-term relationships, consistent employment, foreign travel, years of parenting, etc. bring a limited view to one deemed wise and one who is mature and has no direction, well he or she is considered nothing more than a fool.   

Now if you put two immature, inexperienced people together, the chances that the couple will get along are quite good at least for a time until serious issues come up.  But if you pair a wise person (whether young or old) with someone who is unwise mentally and spiritually, you will have an unbalanced relationship where one is often investing knowledge, love, experiences, and possibly money, while the other is like a bump on a log.  After awhile, the one receiving all those wise tips is going to get weary of his or her partner, since he or she has very little to bring to the relationship, and eventually resent him or her.  On the other hand, the wise person is going to regret having wasted so much time hoping for compatibility and a return on his or her investment.  

Foolish people don’t like spiritual people and vice versa.  If you are wise, don’t manipulate yourself into thinking that you can change, re-arrange, create, or motivate a silly, immature or uneducated person to act the way you want.  If you believe this, then consider yourself controlling.   

Now there are those who you know who may enjoy your teachings and thoughtful insight, but they don’t spend as much time with you like an intimate partner would.  Wisdom is not popular, doesn’t rank high when it comes to character attributes, and isn’t what young people consider, “Cool.” Besides, there are even older adults who run from wisdom because they don’t want to feel:  old, convicted about sins, or think they should change.

So if you are one who has been told you are “wise,” be mindful that those you might attract may not be as wise as you.  They also will not help you toward creating the kind of relationship you so desire either especially if they don’t respect or appreciate wise people.   

You can test dates simply by sharing biblical quotes, thoughts on love, philosophical concepts related to things you think he or she enjoys, etc.  Then watch your date's reactions.  Do this enough times in different ways on different days (especially bible related verses), and the apple of your eye will begin to look spoiled to you.  Once you realize this person is definitely not someone you could see yourself spending your life with, break free.  Don’t be like so many who try to rescue, rehabilitate, change, or build up fools.  If one cannot or refuses to do anything that will make them better in all that he or she does, yet you are this type, then you don’t want to choose the broken, emotionally hurt, and wounded for a life-long partner.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street and other books.

This Song Good Example of the Games Some Men Play

MR HUDSON - WHITE LIES LYRICS

7 Mistakes Some Mature Men Make with Younger Women

He finds someone who he really likes, a younger woman, someone who looks like she could be his daughter.  The more he spends time with her, the more he sees a future with her.  However, there are obstacles internally and externally that prevent this courtship from being a wonderful, memorable experience. 

The mature man made some mistakes during this age gap dating experience that makes her question his loyalty, possibly caused discord among family and friends while leaving the couple feeling uneasy about the future.   

You could be making the same errors when it comes to dating younger women.

One.  Are you impressing the younger woman with your material wealth?

Stop it.  If you don't want a gold-digger don't encourage her to act like one.  Be humble, modest about your wealth.  If asked, answer briefly, but avoid bragging.

Two.  Did you tell others how old she is?

If you did already, stop that too.  If you don't want condemnation, don't invite it!  The more you talk about how young and youthful she is, the more the uncomfortable tension in the air will grow especially amongst jealous older women.  You will be making it hard for her to be welcomed into your inner circle when you bring up her age often.

Three.  Are you having sex before really feeling comfortable enough to be seen with her in public places?

Don't do it again when you know you aren't ready to present her in front of everyone.  You are only setting yourself up for future arguments.  If you aren't serious about her, don't make her think you are.

Four.  Do you talk about your young partner with exs in order to create a desire for them to want to reconnect?

Why would any man do this?  But they do.  An ex is an ex for a reason and drawing her out of her cave of anger and confusion by talking about your new girlfriend often is only going to make matters worse sooner or later.

Five.  Do you lie or cover up unflattering details of your life in order to keep your young partner around?

So as to appear like he is in the know and is "cool," some older men will not share much about themselves and act more interested in their date.  If you want an open, honest relationship, it would make sense to share aspects of yourself as they come up, not hide them.

Six.   Are you acting controlling, like a father, and forbid her to have a life apart from you?

A younger woman can detect a father figure a mile away.  Some gravitate to older men because there are some things that they do that remind them of their fathers.  However, many don't want their partner to become their father.  So when you find yourself monitoring her every activity, you have to ask yourself, "Do I have a desire for a daughter?"  If this is the case, let her go, don't use her to fulfill your void.

Seven.  Do you keep her a secret and then spring her on critical family and friends?

There relationship is not off to a good start when you can't even talk to your family about her or you feel apprehensive about sharing someone that you love with them.  Conquer the fear and the nervousness simply by preparing everyone who you know will support you and leave out those you know you don't.  Springing a younger woman up on anyone will make them do more gossiping than welcoming--and how do you think that negativity in the air will make your partner feel?

Take a moment to pray, plan, and protect that one you believe is the apple of your eye!

Nicholl McGuire

Whose Whispering in His Ear, Her Ear?

A younger woman and an older man in a dating relationship is often critiqued by those who think he is too old and she is too young.  The critic doing the questioning is often jealous or has been hurt in the past having been in a similar relationship.

The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure.  He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner.  The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions.  Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.

The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative.  She becomes easily irritated with him.  He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him.  Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship.  She thinks, "It's him."  He thinks, "It's her."  No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well.  "Why do I feel this way?"  The couple should ask.  "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time?  Who have I been talking and listening to?"

The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better!  Consider the source.  When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?"  Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business?  After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business.  You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc.  If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail.  Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.

Christian Dating: Older Men and Younger Women

In the Bible there are men in relationships with younger women.  For example, Boaz and Ruth were one such couple.  Now there is nothing wrong with men and women dating one another.  But what is wrong is when manipulation, lying, abuse, sexual sins, and ridicule is included in the relationship.  Just think, if all of this relationship drama was ongoing in the book of Genesis with the first couple, Adam and Eve would have been fighting one another, ignoring God, and turning their future offspring against one another!  Then again, who knows what they said to one another after they were expelled from the garden?  When dating someone who is younger or older we have to understand that just because they attend church, read the Bible, have a history of being saved, sanctified and Holy Ghost filled doesn't necessarily mean that this person is someone who we should be dating and this person may not be who God had in mind for us.

Sometimes, as believers, we are very quick to assume that someone we are dating is "the one" and "chosen by God," because they simply appear to act like what we think a believer should be.  We start trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.  "He likes what I like...," she says, but upon closer inspection, that isn't altogether true.  "She is perfect for me...," he boasts, but then six months from now he is on his knees crying out to God, "Send her away, I made a mistake!"  Not so fast!  You wanted someone to come into your life because you were most likely lonely, desperate, confused, or just wanted a friend.  You might have had a list of what you wanted, and so now you got her or him with a few things added to that list and a few removed.  Why would God permit certain experiences to happen and not others when it comes to relating to the opposite sex?

Well, we are to trust in God and we are not to lean on our own understanding, so the Bible tells us.  We should also consider Romans 8:28 when it comes to our personal experiences.  God has a way of teaching us a lesson or two about life and it isn't always going to come from a church setting, a CD, or a Christian television program.  Sometimes these fires we put ourselves in, God will put them out for a time and teach us while we are looking on at the destruction that we caused for ourselves and others.  It's like God taking us by the hand and pointing out our faults, "See what you done, now look what I am going to do.  I know that you made a mistake, but I can't let you just walk away, there are some things I need to teach you about yourself, the other person and how this all relates to my perfect will."

So if you believe in a mighty God and you know that you may have made some mistakes with someone or you are seeking God about the person you are currently with, may I direct you to the original plan, what does God want to do in you and through you?  What do you recall about walking with him, before you got distracted with this person, job, children etc. that he wanted you to do in the first place?  You might have to go back to the Book of Genesis in your life to get the answers you need.

Consider this, don't let an older man/younger woman dating relationship keep you from your higher calling.  Stay true to the God who saved you back when your current partner "...didn't know you when...!"  Men and women can't save you, but an awesome Creator whose son's name is Jesus can, get back to spending time with your first love and he will lead you when it comes to your human love.

To God be the glory!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic

It’s Not Always Easy Dating Someone Almost Half Your Age (Younger or Older)

You may not admit it to those around you because you don’t want them to tell you, “I told you so.” But it’s really not easy to date someone with a mindset that is from decades ago when women/men acted this way and that way.  It can be challenging to be with someone who has more energy than you and sees years ahead of them to get things right, while you think “I don’t have long to live to not get things right.” 

So on and on we think about just how different we are from one another—older man, younger woman—until that one day when he or she says some things that make us feel like, “Well maybe we aren’t that different…”  But then disagreements come up and suffocate all the niceties, don’t they?  Things are said that remind us of those age differences once again.  “She is so immature!”  He says.  “He is so old and boring!” She thinks.

You try to deny the truth and suppress your uncomfortable feelings, but neither is working.  For some couples, they start obsessing about ending the relationship.  Then they enlist others to encourage them, “Maybe being with him/her is not what you really want.  If you would have listened to me, I would have introduced you to someone who was more your age.” 

When you are all alone at home or in your car and with no distraction, you have to make up in your mind whether you are committed to this younger woman or older man.  Are you?  You have to be the one that decides if this person is worth all the criticism, future joy AND upset, health issues, etc.  If you know that you just don’t have the energy, mindset or time to commit to the relationship; then don’t deceive yourself or that older man or younger woman who might possibly be in love with you.  Let this person know that you are not interested in marriage, living together, children, or anything else that typical committed couples have.  Rather, tell the one you admire (or possibly might love) that you are still working on some areas in your life, and you are not quite ready to settle down.  It is better that you are open and truthful, this way your lover/friend can prepare his or herself emotionally and not demand any commitment from you.

How to Know if your Girlfriend is Crazy | PurpleSlinky

How to Know if your Girlfriend is Crazy | PurpleSlinky

Younger Women: When an Older Man Denies He is Having a Mid-Life Crisis | BeyondJane

Younger Women: When an Older Man Denies He is Having a Mid-Life Crisis | BeyondJane

You Don't Need a Husband, You Want a Temporary Lover

Young women everywhere consider this question, "Do I want or need a husband?"  There is a difference between wanting and needing.  A want is simply thinking about having something, but there is no pressing need to get it.  "I want a Mercedes Benz, but I could live without it," says a fan.  But her friend says, "Well, I need to get one, because my dad and I are in business together and we have to make a statement when we pass by observers.  Besides, I hear they are good road cars and we will be traveling a lot."  So you see the difference between wanting and needing.  When it comes to men, like cars, there are those you need and others you just want.

There might be women in your circle pressuring you into thinking you need to consider getting married, while all you really want is a temporary friend with benefits.  Of course, church-goers frown on the latter.   However, being that we live in a world that appears to celebrate all things immoral, it isn't any wonder why many women opt out of a potential marriage and prefer singleness.  In addition, when you are a woman, who has it all ie.) material wealth, children from a previous relationship, good friends, etc., what good is a man other than for periodic sex anyway?  This is how some women think and men know it, so they are careful not to fall in love with the "I have it all" types.  Yet, what tends to happen over time is a woman starts wanting a serious relationship with a man who she has convinced for years she doesn't want as a husband, how might you think he will react?  "Marriage?  Uh.  I thought you didn't want anything serious?" he questions.

Be certain of your feelings, what you hope to give and take from a relationship, and why you may or may not be interested in a long-term commitment.  Communicate your thoughts to your future husband or temporary lover. 

Nicholl is the Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
October is Domestic Violence Awareness
http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

Spiritual Message for Broken-hearted Women Dating, Relationships - YouTube

Spiritual Message for Broken-hearted Women Dating, Relationships - YouTube

Health Issues, Ex Dilemmas, Unsupportive Children: Younger Woman Is He Worth It?

They tell you, " You are so young, why bother with that old man?"  You think to yourself, "Yeah, why?"  If you are thinking like this, then chances are this man is no longer worth your time young woman.  "There is so much life ahead of you," they say.  "They" (mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, friends, etc.) don't lie when it comes to wanting you happy.  Whay are you with him?  There is, if you plan well, someone out there for you who wants marriage, children, and no additional baggage (like children from a previous relationship, a jealous ex, and unresolved issues on the job or with friends).  You just have to be patient and discerning.  Why be that depressed, young woman on this older man's arm faking smiles (and for some young women, orgasms too with a man who obviously doesn't turn you on anymore, if ever).

Let's just be honest, some men (and women too) just don't see their flaws or their personal dramas.  If they do, they ignore them and hope that the person they are with will ignore them too.  But how long will you look the other way when his soldier isn't standing erect, his children are being disrespectful or when he is often tired when you are ready to do anything but watch TV for leisure every weekend!  There is something wrong when an older man doesn't appreciate or act interested in a woman who is young, sexy, energetic, caring, and intelligent.  If all he can see and complain about is say:  her annoying friend, her interests in her family, the way she organizes the house, or some odd thing she does with her eyes, then you have to wonder what kind of man is he. A perfectionist, controlling, stubborn, or just weird?

Yes, young woman, you who happened to come across this blog, could have someone more compatible.  But for some of you, you keep your old man around like he does an old lazy boy chair, he's comfortable--that's right, comfortable.  He may look worn, tired and may have a few things wrong with him, but he is still comfortable to sit or lay on.  You just don't have the courage nor desire to trade him for a new one.  The signs are all around you, "Get a new chair!  Here's a quality one, better than the one you got...come get me!"  the new, improved chair just screams, "I'm here. I can do a good job too!"  But what do some young women do, look for reasons to keep their old chairs like their old men around until they have simply had enough!  "I am tired of your lazy, old behind...can't you do more for me besides sit there and do nothing!  Why do I still see the stains of exs, children and your health issues years later!  What the X%$# have I got myself into?"  the disgruntled younger woman yells.

When she has made up her mind (and one day she will) and sees that the old dog just won't do any new tricks with her (and only her), she will leave sooner or later.  Pray for yourself or if you know someone in a relationship like this, pray for her.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of When Mothers Cry 

Sociopath Experience Pt 1 - Younger Woman with Older Man - YouTube

Sociopath Experience Pt 1 - YouTube

Meeting Men Via an Internet Dating Site: A Personal Story | BeyondJane

Meeting Men Via an Internet Dating Site: A Personal Story | BeyondJane

What to Do When You Want to Break Up with an Older Man | BeyondJane

What to Do When You Want to Break Up with an Older Man | BeyondJane

Young Bride Divorced Rich Old Man Because She Can’t Keep Up

Here's a good example why you should do more observing and less talking when you date a rich, older man, you might learn a thing or two like his lifestyle is incompatible with yours.

Young Bride Divorced Rich Old Man Because She Can’t Keep Up

When Dating Bubbly, Talkative Young Women Just Isn’t Working for You

They are youthful, exciting and have a lot to talk about, young women who laugh more than they cry can make any man fall head over heels in love with them.  But when you are a self-centered mature man, settled—caught up in routines, in time, you will be annoyed with all the energy that some young women bring to the relationship.

At first it doesn’t seem to bother you, her smiling often, but over time you find yourself starting to feel uneasy.  You begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you or maybe with her.  “Can someone be this happy all the time?”  Rather, you should be asking, “Why am I so cranky?”  The young bubbly woman seems so much happier and optimistic about the future, but you, not so much.  

Casting all doubt aside and unresolved issues of the past, face it, you just might not be her type.  Why force a round peg into a square hole?  But what do some mature men do?  Try too hard to impress in the beginning of the relationship only to later become weary and unemotional toward a younger woman’s advances, requests and desire to be heard.  “It’s not her, it’s me…” he should be telling himself.  But years of playing the blame game skews his vision and all he sees is that wide smile that he can’t muster on his face asking him to, “Try this…Why don’t we go there…What’s wrong?” while hearing her irksome laughter in his head. 

Some men just shouldn’t waste a young woman’s time.  Think: she has her life ahead.  Why slow her down with unnecessary requests to get her to change who she is?  “Do you have to talk so much, honey?  Are you always like this so cheery?  I wish I had your energy…” he says.  So she likes to go, go, go and giggle, giggle, giggle.  Isn’t that what you liked about her?  Why expect her to be anything different?  Maybe you use to be young and fun once, but these days that just isn’t you.  Why not be the bigger person and end the relationship so that you can find someone with less energy, you know someone more like yourself.  Don’t worry over making her cry.  Besides, she might be thinking, “He is such a grumpy man.  Wonder how I can get out of this one?”  

There are those men who just don’t get it when it comes to dating younger women, one size (personality) doesn’t fit all.  No matter how many relatives, friends, co-workers, talk shows, articles, and more that are out there that scream at you, “Stay away from younger women, you are no match for them” some men will try to date them anyway.  Men, who just aren’t out-going and don’t like to do much but work and periodically have sex should stick to their own age group or alone especially if the slightest remark, question, or joke bothers them.  Most menopausal single women get it, that’s why some prefer to be alone.  They avoid both young and older men.  “It’s just too much work to date,” some say.  

Far too many young women have had their poor hearts broken waiting for some mature men to get their act together.  They sold them a good sales pitch in the beginning of the dating relationship only to let these women down, shame on them!  Unfortunately, some of these young women overlooked the old adage which says, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” too!

When you know you have a long pattern of reckless dating and many stories that include phrases such as:  “I didn’t like…couldn’t get along…wish things were different…” it’s time to take that pause in one’s life and ask yourself this question, “What the #$%^ am I doing?”  I’m sure the women your own age were thinking the same thing.

Nicholl McGuire

Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Younger Woman: 12 Signs You’re Being Played by an Older Man

Younger Woman: 12 Signs You’re Being Played by an Older Man

Young Women: Don't Prostitute Yourself to be with a Mature Man, Men Don't Pay a Young Woman for Sex

Some women strategically plan to be with certain men because of their wealth.  Unfortunately, they put their selves in a similar position of a prostitute.  Listen to this audio and be enlightened.

Prostitution Bible Study & Commentary - YouTube

11 Reasons Why Dating An Older Man Is Awesome - The Frisky

I thought why not put up another article that talks about why dating an older men is awesome!  If someone is feeling down about his age, maybe this young lady will perk you up (take your mind out the gutter!--LOL)

11 Reasons Why Dating An Older Man Is Awesome - The Frisky

Six Problems With Dating Older Men | Clutch Magazine

You've got to love articles that get straight to the point like the following one.  I must admit, I laughed at this one, because I could relate.  Thank God, all older men aren't like the ones this writer describes.  Click here: Six Problems With Dating Older Men | Clutch Magazine

Younger Guy Wanted to Know, Why You Dating Old Men?

If you are a younger woman, you may have been asked, "Why do you like dating older men?"  by guys or gals about your age and younger.  How do you answer such a question or do you even bother?  Whether it is your personal preference, that's all you seem to attract, or simply maturity, your choice not theirs.  I came across one website that attempts to answer this question. Read here.

What Some People Say About Men with Younger Women

You don’t mean to stare at the unusual pair walking by, but you do.  Yet, when you are the one in a peculiar relationship, you are wondering, “Why does it seem like everyone is looking at my date and I?”  Then you think, “What could they be thinking?”  Sometimes people aren’t really concerned about what others are doing.  But there are those, who love to people watch and they are thinking the ever-popular question, “What is she doing with him?” among other things.

“She is only with him for the money.”

You knew this statement was coming and if you are the one with the money you might be thinking, “Well is she?”  Discuss the issue amongst yourselves, but definitely don’t allow others to talk about it with you.  Most often people who are already receiving money from the mature partner will raise the red flag on the relationship, because they fear that they will no longer receive any money now that the mature partner is seeing this younger woman.

“He is too old to be dating someone her age – he’s robbing the cradle.”

Is he really too old or is she too young?  Well to some people maybe this comment is cause for concern, especially if someone skipped out on their marriage, dating a child etc. but if none of which applies to your relationship, why bother responding?

“What do her parents think about her dating someone much older?”

This may be a concern for a few due to personal reasons or because they are concerned the younger partner might not be legal age.  But does it really matter?

“I wouldn’t date someone my son or daughter’s age and definitely not my dad’s.”

As we all know who we choose to date is our personal business.  However, some critics can’t help but comment because they know they don’t have the courage or interest in dating someone younger or older.  Responding to a comment like this is a waste of time.  If you do, you will look immature and the naysayer just might feel good watching you react negatively.  Just ignore this person or better yet get it understood early on, especially if this person is a relative, to exercise a little self-control over their tongue if he or she wants to keep you in his or her life.  

“She must not have a close relationship with her father.”

Some people assume the worse, because they have heard of stories where young women have specifically dated older men because their own fathers didn’t meet their needs.  Maybe this happens for many younger women dating older men, but not all.  If you are a younger woman who doesn’t have a close relationship with your dad and you feel that it is affecting your relationship with your partner, maybe you might want to consider independent counseling, reconnecting with your father if you can, or sitting down with someone who knows him well to get answers to unresolved issues.  If you are the mature partner, you may want to watch for signs that she is in fact using you to fill a role in her life that wasn’t met by her dad.  If so, then you may want to discuss your concerns.

“He is going through a mid-life crisis (andropause) that’s why he is with her.”

Dating younger women is something that many men who have severe symptoms of andropause do, but once again there are exceptions to the rule.  A younger woman will want to observe her mate and watch for signs if she suspects that possibly she is one of many of her older partner’s andropause symptoms. 

“Why do older men always go after younger women?”

This statement is usually said by women who feel insecure, jealous and angered about past issues.  Others are simply curious.  When some younger women hear a comment like this, it might work for or against her self-esteem depending on how committed she is to the relationship.  She may ask the same thing of the older man or wonder what he sees in her.  Her partner will have to say the kind of things to keep her interested and secure in the relationship. 

“I was never interested in dating men my dad’s age or older, that’s crazy!”

Younger people can sometimes be the harshest critics of a relationship between a younger woman and an older man.  Oftentimes those who say this are still very immature, so they couldn’t fathom the thought.  If this comment is stated enough by friends, it might cause a younger woman, who isn’t so sure about dating an older man, to want to break up.

“He probably left his wife and children to be with her.  He will probably go back to the wife once he gets tired of her.”

This comment can really hurt a younger woman’s feelings particularly if she is head over heels in love with her mature mate.  So when she hears this, she might start to wonder if in fact he would get back with an ex.  Hopefully, the man isn’t married, but if he is, you might want to cut your losses early.

Special Online Dating Website for Young Women & Mature Men - Girlsandgentlemen.co.uk.

Are you over 40 seeking a woman to date that is less than 30?  If so, then you might be interested in visiting Girlsandgentlemen.co.uk.  This site will match up couples who enjoy dating singles who are either younger or older than they.

Participants can choose from singles from all over the world simply by registering.  Membership is free.  Whether you are interested in a rich man or a beautiful woman, this site connects those who can be honest about what they seek in a dating relationship.

No longer do you need to date people your own age while wishing to be with someone much younger or older.  Too often singles settle for dating people they are less than interested in simply because the people they meet live nearby or happen to show more interest in them than others recently.  Seek someone online that will compliment you.

It isn't often that this site refers readers to dating sites, but this one is definitely one that you, who are interested in dating older or younger, will appreciate.  Click here.

When You Date Old School, Expect Old School Treatment

When you date older expect your date to have what you might consider some out-dated principles.  There are still some men in this world who believe that a woman's place is at home with children while the man works.  Men who have a faith in God may expect no sex until marriage.  You will find that some older men do have a way of doing things that isn't modern, youthful or even comprehensible to one who is still learning and growing.

Certain family members won't accept you.

As much as we all would like to be accepted by our partner's relatives, it just won't happen.  There will be those in his family that will not go along just to get along especially if they are Christian or have some other belief system.  Your partner may not see anything wrong with cohabitation, but his mother, sister, brother or someone else will.  He may find that having a child out of wedlock isn't a big deal like it once was, but his family or maybe even yours are giving you a firestorm of criticism.  Sometimes it is your special someone who is the one who is against all things deemed immoral while you are more laid back.  Whatever the issue, you will have to respect his faith, uphold your personal views, as well as consider the opinions of those around you.  It also doesn't hurt to consider what people are saying and why they may be reacting negatively about you and your companion being together.  Sometimes relatives simply don't care what you do, but if you have a faith, ask yourself, "What does my Creator think?"

Friends won't find you have much in common with them.

When there is a significant age difference, you will find it challenging to make friends with his friends.  Some women disdain younger women being with older men, because unfortunately they have had their share of cheating partners and disrespectful young women in their presence.  As much as you would like for friends to accept you and act interested in what you have to say, think about this, "Would you really be interested in associating with people 15 or 20 years younger than you?"


Your mature partner may treat you differently than younger dates.

A relationship that may have started off good, may end up being a terrible choice, because you or your mature lover may have allowed far too many voices to influence the way you see one another.  He may start acting distant as if trying to erase his mistake with picking you.  On the other hand, you may stop calling or coming around him, because you know that he too was a bad choice.  When a couple comes to the realization that they may have bit off more than they can chew (when it comes to building a relationship that lasts,) it is best to get out as soon as you can or seriously consider making changes in the relationship that will help it evolve into a marital commitment.  Otherwise, you wait too long and you will find yourself making more and more mistakes that will be harder and harder to fix.  Even worse, some things we do to others, can never be undone and unfortunately we reap the consequences later despite having prayed about them and sought wise counsel.

Be certain that when you date old school, you know the rules of the old school.

Nicholl McGuire

Faith & Relationship: Does it Really Matter?

Anyone who has ever been introduced to the God of the Holy Bible or some other faith knows that you have made a life decision to walk a spiritual path.  There is no way that you can date someone, grow closer then think that your faith will have zero impact on your relationship.

If you are one who is still married, but separated, you know that dating someone whether younger, older or in between wouldn't be wise.  At some point in the relationship, your mate is going to want something long lasting with you.  What are you going to tell this person?  "Sure, I want that too, but I'm still married..."  That response will set your intimate relationship so far back that it might not even work out.  What bible-believing young woman or older man is going to stay in love with a person who is still trying to sort out whether or not he or she wants to let go of his or her past, much less want to be married in the future?

It also isn't wise to date any one just because you are lonely.  Spiritual believers who seek relationships are looking for more than just companionship.  Eventually, someone who is really interested in a commitment is going to want to merge names, households, and bodies together in the name of whatever God or gods he or she believes in.

When one is interested in dating one or many people, he or she must realize that someone out there is going to take his or her faith seriously and this person will expect you to live up to your beliefs.  In other words, if you claim to be a believer, you will walk the walk.

Of course, there are those daters who are adulterers, fornicators, backsliders and more who claim they, "Love the Lord...attend church, pray, fast, and read the Bible" but the truth is that God is so removed from their lives because they are living in sin.  These people have double-minds, unstable and desire to appease their flesh, more than their spirits.  Their faith just isn't as important as one might think.  In time, truth is revealed and that young woman or older man who had once been hoodwinked will slowly or rapidly realize that this person is no fit in his or her life.  In a situation like this, age has nothing to do with it, but deceit, backward talk regarding one's faith, and other spiritual revelation has separated the couple.

When a man has reached maturity, he will not pretend to be something he is not.  If he isn't walking with Jesus or some other spiritual being, he will just speak truth.  When a mature, young woman is not interested in a faith, she will just say so.  But immature, immoral and ignorant people will play mind games.  They will act in ways that will tell an observer, "Now this one is nothing more than a hypocrite!"  If the person dating the backslider or unbeliever doesn't see it, the person's family will see the deceitful person a mile away and warn their beloved relative to "leave him alone...he is not right for you...she is an immoral woman...she is immature, silly."

Sometimes it is best just to listen to those people who are dedicated to their faith and wise.  They can help you weed out the good from the bad during your dating phase.  Hopefully, in time, you will meet someone who shares the same faith as you do!  It is a beautiful thing to be with someone who loves your God like you do!

Nicholl McGuire
More inspirational writings at:  http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com

Teacher Leaves Wife, Kids for High School Student | Parenting - Yahoo! Shine

If you ever needed an example of what mid-life looks like when someone isn't taking his vitamin supplements, herbal remedies, and a prescription med for his hormones, look no further! She desperately needs a father figure and he definitely wants someone in his life to make him feel like he is 18 once again! When you read the article, you will notice how he talks about his attraction to her like it was an overnight thing that began when she turned 18--not hardly. I will be the first to support any relationship that is healthy and balanced, but this one, it stinks of hormones and dysfunction!

Teacher Leaves Wife, Kids for High School Student | Parenting - Yahoo! Shine

Your Issues, His Issues and Now Our Issues

So you thought you could be everything to him or her.  You bought this person nice things.  You made time to go with him or her here and there.  You really thought you met your match, that is until you started looking more closely at this person you slept with the other night.  "She is a bit off," you think.  "He seems to be a bit slow," she thinks.  Whatever you noticed about this person, it has put a damper on your relationship.  Now you hope that this person will do something that will make you fall back in lust (or love) with him or her-- good luck.

Once truth reveals itself in people, it becomes hard to get the fantasy back.  You want that person to be that special someone you met over and over again.  Immature people think in this way.  People desperate for someone to come rescue them from their past also think like this.  Before you know it, you got someone yelling, "Why can't I find the right someone!"  Could it be, that you want your dates to fulfill a dream rather than a reality?

You have your issues when you came into the relationship that most likely you wanted your date to overlook.  Then there was the issues.  Your date had some and you had your share.  Then there were those issues you had together.  With all of these "issues" also known as relationship challenges, it isn't any wonder that this romance started quickly and then ended just as quickly. 

If there is no room in the relationship to just grow freely of the complications of an ex, the baby, the money, the relatives, the friends, an abusive childhood, etc. then yes a beautiful fantasy dies and it may never come back.  You should never think a person is going to be your cure all!

For many people, they know, starting this year, it is time to bury the fantasy and welcome reality.  They must want to do the things that are right for self and the relationship.  But where to start?  A change of mindset, a reality check!  Look at the things in the relationship that is causing it to become unbalanced, miserable, and something you no longer want.  If you allow a relationship to grow in a setting free of outside influence, criticism and unresolved issues of the past, how beautiful it can be!  Keep in mind, it takes work, lots of it.  But if you are in love, and not in lust, it will go the distance.

Nicholl McGuire

A Blog for Men Seeking a Nice Woman to Date - WhereToFindGirl.com

I don't often speak of other websites to visit for dating advice, but this one is a nice blog for men who are having trouble looking for that nice gal.  Written from a male perspective, the site is like this one, filled with useful advice.  Read here.

Advice for Young Mothers Interested in Dating Older Men

Some daters believe that because they are easygoing about most things, they are compatible with many different types of people no matter the age or background.  They falsely assume that because they maybe in a similar situation as their date, such as:  being a parent, divorced, or have other responsibilities, that those they connect with can relate and most likely will handle their circumstances in the same way that they do.  However, despite all the similar interests and life comparisons, people are people and they will do things that will leave others scratching their heads, such is the case when a single older man chooses to date someone half his age or younger who is a parent of small children.  Maybe he dates her because he was in a similar situation 20 years ago or he remembers the pain of a breakup and how it impacted his family, so now he wants to be helpful.  Whatever the reason that draws him to the young mother, he may be very interested in having a relationship with her.

You have to wonder though, why someone would bother taking on some, if not all, of someone else's burden despite his or her age.  Of course, there is such a thing as love, but there is also such a thing as desperation.  Some people can't stand to be lonely!  They will sacrifice their carefree lifestyle and peace just to be close to someone.  But their are others who have a more hidden reason for dating someone that may seem trivial to many.  There may be a certain interest or look they desire so much in someone else that they will tolerate just about anything to be with him or her.  This strong desire is also known as obsession. 

Maybe the younger woman has gorgeous long, blond hair that this older man absolutely loves or beautiful hazelnut eyes that seem to draw him in everytime he looks at her.  Whatever that "thing" is that she possesses, the older man doesn't mind putting up with all the baggage that comes with her just so that he can enjoy the benefit of being with his ideal mate.  Two small children, an ex, an overbearing mother, money issues, and a home filled with past memories may be a part of this young woman's world, but the desperate older man doesn't seem to care just so long as she is fulfilling some aspect of his fantasy.  "I don't care about all that other stuff!  I love her!  She has beautiful eyes, nice long hair, and coca skin!  I always wanted to be with her type!" 

Some of us have gone to great lengths over the years to date our ideal look.  We have given those exs a pass on just about anything that they did just so that we can satisfy lustful desires.  We envisioned our soul mate to look and act a certain way.  So when we got what we thought we wanted, we didn't worry over whether our exs were compatible with our core beliefs, just so long as they fulfilled our weak desires.  However, once their issues with things like:  family, money, friends, etc. started disturbing our fantasy world, then we either fell out of love or fell away from the relationship.

Let's face it, most older men who are doing well in life and have already raised their own children,  really don't want to become dads to babies all over again.  It was a stressful period in their lives.  Now they want to be free to do what they want.  Me comes first in those golden years!  It should be obvious to the young mother, that the older man and the ex didn't make it when their children were young, what's the likelihood that he will make it in a new relationship where mom is younger and her children aren't his?  What to do, what to do?

Some men may take advantage of the situation and keep the young woman around for occasional sex and a partner to go here and there with, but if the young woman is often without a babysitter, most likely she will be unable to go to many places.  Instead, most of the couple's time together will be spent at her home or his.  There must be an understanding between them early on as to what each want of the relationship.  Without this knowledge, head games may be played resulting in unnecessary relationship drama.

A man who feels like he may have to compete with the children or ex may not stick around.  He may be more apt to find a suitable partner for his needs.  Being a single parent is hard, being a young single parent is even harder!  There are still so many challenges in life that a young mother must face like learning more about herself and what she wants out of life, health changes, career changes, parenting issues, and maybe an increase desire to get married and have more children.  Some caring older men don't want to be an additional burden to someone who already has enough burdens in her young life.  Others would try to help.  But the majority of older men, would stay away.  They have been there done that and really don't want to have to do that all over again!

Every person is different; therefore there are some exceptions to the rule.  There will be those older men who will date younger women with children just to do something different or as explained earlier, there is something about her that fulfills a fantasy.  However, don't expect a long-term commitment unless the man truly desires a wife.  Unfortunately, most older men have already been married before and are not interested in doing it again especially with someone very young.

Nicholl McGuire 

Does Looks Matter? What Will Others Think About Me Dating...?

When you are attracted to someone, one of the first things you are going to pay attention to is how this person looks.  Now some optimist types would say, "That shouldn't matter, it's what is on the inside that really counts."  Well, that's all well and good, but welcome to reality older man, younger woman, looks do matter to some, but to who is the question?  Does your mate really care about you?

You may be the kind of person who doesn't care too much about looks.  You may not have a certain type that you prefer to date.  You may not be bothered about whether a woman or man is black, yellow, red or white.  But there are those that all this is important.  This is why you must be sure that who you are dating isn't faking it to make it.  Does he or she really love you inside and out or is this person just tolerating you for now?

There are some people who just know how to act very well when it comes to being into someone.  They will pretend like they enjoy their hobbies and interests when they really don't.  They will act like gray hair, wrinkles and being overweight doesn't bother them, when it really does.  Some men and women will fake being comfortable on a date with someone younger or older.  Meanwhile, he is hoping that his mother, ex-wife or sister won't happen to see him walking down the street with his younger mate or she is praying that her dad doesn't see her with this old man.

You have to be confident with who you are when dating someone older or younger.  You will get those looks.  People will make you feel uncomfortable.  I recall when a group of guys walked by me with my older mate and they were staring.  They looked at me then him and back to me again.  One commented, "Why is she with that old man?"  My stomach dropped.  I was shocked, I couldn't say anything.  To this day, I don't know if my date heard the young man.  Needless to say, the young man's words affected me for at least a day.

Be sure you are willing to stand strong in a relationship such as this especially when the naysayers start bad-mouthing your actions.  Don't be a coward or try to defend your actions.  If you are in love, then so be it.  Who cares what anyone else says?  However, be prepared for some stressful moments and try not to let other's words and reactions affect your dating relationship.

Nicholl McGuire
See more writings related to relationships here.

Moody, Irritable, Argumentative and 50 Plus? Cramping, Bloating and 18 Plus?

In the past, this blog has provided information on Andropause.  This is a health condition that affects males which is caused by a deficiency in testosterone.  Now as much as our society likes to deceive us into thinking we are all younger than we think, the truth be told is that we are all getting older.  As we mature, things like our memory, mood, and body are affected.  We don't remember things as good as we use to.  We become more easily agitated by little things.  Our body weight increases and it becomes more challenging to lose weight especially in one's mid-section.

I am referring mature males who happened to come across this site to the following link below as well as young women who may not understand Andropause.  Hopefully, couples will become more knowledgeable and understanding of this condition.

When searching health websites related to personal issues, I would like readers to check out additional subject matter related to women that might be causing some issues in your relationship as well.  Look up PMS, PMDD and Perimenopause at the site.  Any woman who has a menstrual cycle will be affected.  Mood swings, anger problems, bloating, cramping, lack of sexual drive, etc. are all issues that affect young women too. Some women don't suffer much during their premenstrual cycle while others are affected a great deal.  This condition can also impact your relationship especially if you aren't aware of the symptoms.

So do check out these health conditions it might be a serious wake up call for some of you as to why your past relationships didn't work out.

Nicholl McGuire

Immature + Mature = More Relationship Problems

A dating relationship between older and younger, rich and poor, even handicap and well can work, but immature and mature? Nope.  A mature man dating an immature woman will not last if the immature woman doesn't ever grow up.  The immature older man and the mature younger woman dating relationship won't work either.  Common sense shows that when one is dating anyone incompatible with he or she, it is only a matter of time that if one person doesn't conform to be more compatible, the dating relationship won't work in the long term.  This would explain why some intelligent folks dating the immature might compromise normal behavior for abnormal or why some unintelligent folks might start "acting" more mature.  If you want your relationship to last, you have to make some changes whether they be right or worse, wrong for you.  That's right I said wrong, because some people are more concerned about wanting someone to like them; rather than questioning whether certain behaviors are just wrong.  They are willing to conform to just about anything just to keep that man or woman that they are benefiting from which is so wrong!  If you start doing some things in the relationship that you know aren't right for you, beware, it is only a matter of time that you will grow weary of trying to "fit in" just to stick it out with someone especially if this person is the immature one.

Most people as you know, don't like change.  So the older you are, the least likely you will want to change.  For instance, a silly, immature young woman will see a more serious, older man as boring when she is still interested in going out with her friends and partying.  A silly, immature older man may consider a mature younger woman as an "old soul" and feel like he could have dated someone his own age since this younger woman acting older doesn't represent his idea of what a fountain of youth may look or act like--something he might have been craving.

There are many logical as well as illogical reasons as to why someone would be looking to date someone older or younger, but if you are going to enter into this kind of dating relationship, you have to pick someone that is compatible with you whether you consider yourself to be mature or immature.  Trying to find someone who is on your level of maturity, may be difficult, because sometimes dates will manipulate who they really are at least until you get to know them better. 

You may want to ask what your closest friends think of your level of maturity.  Sometimes we may think one thing, but the world sees someone totally different.  Not being honest with yourself about your level of maturity will make it even more challenging to find someone compatible.  Some people think because they are a certain age they are considered mature, but not so fast!  There are many older men who act immature and many younger women who are surprisingly mature.  When the two meet one another, at first, it seems like they may have a lot in common, but then in time, the two will find that one is really not who he or she claims to be.

What the younger woman may have thought was a mature man seated in front of her, turns out to be a little boy looking for some motherly attention and what the mature man thought was this young, free spirit, is really a full grown woman looking for a man to love and care for her in a future marriage.  If you look beyond the surface when choosing a date and pay close attention to the mannerisms and thoughts being conveyed to you by your date, you will find yourself getting a good look at what the future might hold with this person whether he or she is straightforward with you or not.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate  

You Wanted that Nice, Sexy...Now You Got It!

Oh boy, did you ever...!  "You got that nice piece of $%^?!" one of your boys says as if he doesn't believe it.  You are just smiling from ear-to-ear about that special man or woman in your life.  The world has stopped spinning and all you hear anymore are birds chirping.  You and your younger partner have isolated yourselves. You both have a "me and you against the world" mentality. 

So you thought I was going to say, "But..." right?  Of course, there is a "but."  But, it's for your own good, boss, dad, college student, retiree or divorced.  You know these titles will make or break this kind of relationship if you or she isn't comfortable with them.

Where do you go from here, mature man?  One of you or both should be asking this question, because anyone who has ever been in a relationship always comes to this point.  So it might as well be you who is reading this.  How will being in a relationship with your younger partner benefit you in both the short and long-terms?  Or, is there really any long-term?  You have heard the experiences of people in these kind of dating older/dating younger relationships.  Are you conducting yourself in that "full speed ahead until we crash into a wall" fashion in this relationship?

What about your career and/or educational goals?  Is there room in this relationship for that?  What about a possible pregnancy?  Do you really think aborting would be the best option or keeping the child?  How will your partner fit in with your family?  Do you make enough money if you are retired to help your younger partner?

Love blinds us.  Reality awakes us.  We can use every cliche in the book to make us feel at ease with what we are doing in our personal lives, but seriously mature man, we (both men and women of all ages) all need a voice of reason just in case that special someone breaks our heart.

Sure, your taking it slow, but then again maybe not if you already had sex with her.  Sure, you will come to that bridge when you get there.  You may already be there if she has been sharing her feelings about you.  Don't wait.  Talk about the things that matter when it comes to your intimate relationship with your younger woman and those who care about her.  She (and they--you know her family) just might still respect you in the morning.

Nicholl McGuire
Join on Twitter @datingdramas

Too Old, Too Young? Think Before You Act

If you have dated someone younger or older, you most likely have heard someone say, "He is too old...She is too young..."  As much as we would like to debate about "the age thing," the truth is if someone tells you the truth, you ought to listen.  Who doesn't want someone to love, who has nice things, and enjoys activities that others our own age doesn't?  But when you compare apples to oranges, there are many others out here in the world that you most likely will have more in common with your own age or near your own age.  You have to see more in a relationship with an older or younger person besides, "We both like playing video games...we both enjoy walks in the park...we both love puppies!"  On the outside looking in, these reasons are cute, but they don't represent reality.

There are many older men with young boy personalities living in their bodies like there are many younger women with older women personalities living in their bodies.  It seems like a great combination, that is until the two start living together.  You never know on what day the old soul will come out or the playful boy will show up which can cause many problems in one's  relationship.  There isn't really anything you can do about a person with alters like these.

Know who you are dating.  The older man became the playful boy, because something triggered such a personality in his old age.  The younger woman became the old soul because something also happened in her lifetime to make her that way.  A mature man liked what he no longer is (young) when he looked at the younger woman, but was drawn to the old woman inside of her.  The younger woman liked what she didn't have (a mature figure in her life) when she looked at the older man, but was drawn to the young man on the inside of him.

Sure, you can converse about your different personalities, complain, sigh or moan to that relative or friend, but none of your issues with that person will make his or her alters go away--nothing!  You either deal with them or you don't.  Relationships like these can get rather complicated, so despite being in a relationship like this myself, you won't always find me encouraging others to jump on board especially if I know they have some serious personality or unresolved childhood issues.

Of course, there are those relationships that go the distance, but oftentimes you find out that many of these kind of relationships are dead-ends.  They start out with a purpose, but then in time someone or something creates a major shift in the relationship.  It is then that "the pretty young thing" or "old man" becomes yesterday's old news.  You might even hear one day, "What happened to your girlfriend?  What was wrong with him?  I told you it wouldn't last."

Nicholl McGuire

He's Old Enough to Be Her Dad

tipsdatingoldermen.BlogSpot.com

Some of us grew up during a time where dating a man, notice I didn't say boy, while you were still in high school was nothing out of the ordinary.  The girl knew that the man was quite possibly old enough to be her father and the man knew he was robbing the cradle.  It didn't help that the music and movies perpetuated this awkward and downright illegal relationship.  There were rappers singing about older men and girls dating one another. The girls were "loving" these men, lying about their ages, sneaking out of their parent's homes to meet older men, etc.  Although people knew this sort of behavior was wrong, they still encouraged it by bobbing their heads to the drum beats and making jokes about those celebrities who participated in pedophilia.  A man dating a girl or even a young woman 20 plus years younger is no laughing matter.

In many communities around our country, there is some young naïve or "fast tailed" girl or woman who has serious childhood issues that she doesn't recognize or can handle.  So when an older man comes along with his false promises of caring for her, she goes along with whatever he says just to get along.  To her, romance is nothing more than a movie complete with sex and dinner.  In her mind, she has never been treated like a lady by her younger boyfriends.  The older man holds her hand, brings her flowers, writes her love notes, takes her out to the mall, and buys her the things she wants, and much, much more which is usually taught in the bedroom.  Meanwhile, those boys or young men around her can't fathom what she sees in a wrinkled, grey haired, overweight older man who walks slow and talks slower.

There are so many young women who have so much potential to be something great without the need for a father figure, but that is exactly what her subconscious mind tells her when she looks at the older man.  "He will take care of you...he will buy you nice things...you don't have to worry about him playing head games...he loves you..."  But many older men do just that, play mind games.  They know how to take a younger woman and mold and shape her into what he desires (at least for a time--that is until she acts up--then on to the next one.)

Feel free to share the information on this site with those younger women you may know who are currently dating all sorts of men.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men

Independent Woman: A Blessing & A Curse

Oh, how could it be that an independent woman could be both a blessing and a curse!?  Well nowadays this is just what she is.  You see, to an older man who grew up during a time when many women depended on a man to be both the breadwinner as well as drive the family from point a to point b, he is use to seeing men be the head in the family.  So he may think that he should take care that his partner is never without money and/or his service.  However, independent women of our present day actually frown on relationships like that.  They wonder what is wrong with a woman who relies on a man to drive her around or requests money from a man.  "She can do those things herself!"  They cry.  Sure, but if the partnership is working, who are we to judge? 

When the independent woman contributes to the relationship her finances or other material things, she is considered a blessing to a man.  However, when she expresses independent thoughts or ways that seem to overlook or overshadow her man, she is considered a curse.  The older man enjoys the fruits of her labor, but doesn't want her to control anything, because he feels like a leadership role is his proper place in the home.  Yet, independent women (especially those who have attended college) are very much like men, they are taught to not only service the people, but lead them too!  Great mentality for the workplace, but not so great for intimate relationships!  Too many leaders anywhere can create problems. 

Independent women everywhere are doing well for themselves there is no question about it.  There are both young and older men who take notice too!  Some think, "Well, what can she do for me? I mean, I could use some help in my finances and in my quest to get ahead.  I could use her to help me get where I want to be."  This is where being independent can also be a curse.  A successful woman is an easy target for men who aren't so successful; therefore she can easily be taken for granted. 

Couples must get an understanding, before they start seriously dating exclusively on what kind of relationship they hope to have with one another.  If the older man is the type who believes that a man should be king over his castle, then the two should talk about that.  If the woman believes that she should be treated equal or even treated like the head in the relationship, then the older man should take note.

Both mentalities will lead to future problems if neither aren't willing to reach compromises.

There are many young independent thinking women who consider men to be icing on their cakes (so to speak) similar to how men have long thought of women.  They don't see men as an important foundation in building up the relationship; rather these woman of today want to not only plan the cake, but also cook it and if a man comes along and wants to decorate it, that's okay, but it's not a requirement.  An older man who doesn't have this understanding with his younger partner on what his role is in the relationship will have problems with a younger women!  He should never assume that he knows younger women and how they think.  Just like most clothes, one size doesn't fit all.  She may remind you of someone and may even look like that person, but you must remind yourself that she is not!

Young women must also respect older men and their views about relationships--a man 10 plus years does have a different mindset than a man who is the same age as a young woman.  As mentioned in this blog before, a considerably younger woman can't teach a considerably older man new tricks especially if he is too tired, too busy, too stressed or simply too old to do what she asks. 

Far too many women, both young and old, desire to change men, and as we all know from watching other people go through bad relationships, it just doesn't work!   Couples, the ones that last, know when to just wave the white flag and say, "I surrender!"  An independent young woman who has her sights on her ambitions is not about to raise a white flag for anyone unless she sees some kind of benefit.  The older man must ask himself, "What am I willing to put up with?" 

tipsdatingoldermen.BlogSpot.com

Remember a young woman and an older man come from two different mindsets, possibly cultures, ethnicities, and the like.  Neither should expect to dance by the beat of each other's drum without giving up something.  The problem is an older man who is set in his ways isn't about to listen to someone younger and possibly inexperienced unless he sees some benefit.  A younger woman most likely had problems listening to her father or some other older male relative growing up, so the last thing she wants is another father figure. 

Both the younger woman and the older man will want to seriously evaluate the relationship and what exactly are the pros and cons to being with one another. He or she may want to seriously handle "the issues" (whatever they might be) as they arise without having to deal with the age factor unless need be.

In the heat of battle, no young woman wants to be called, "stupid, irresponsible or naïve" because she is younger and no older man wants to be called, "old, tired, forgetful or retarded" because he is older.  But when someone who thinks with an independent mindset feels like he or she knows better and really doesn't feel like his or her partner is an asset to one's life, he or she will act disrespectful, arrogant or downright ignorant.  Watch for these signs and more in your own relationship and be prepared to walk away when the time is right.

Nicholl McGuire