Monday

Whose Whispering in His Ear, Her Ear?

A younger woman and an older man in a dating relationship is often critiqued by those who think he is too old and she is too young.  The critic doing the questioning is often jealous or has been hurt in the past having been in a similar relationship.

The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure.  He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner.  The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions.  Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.

The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative.  She becomes easily irritated with him.  He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him.  Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship.  She thinks, "It's him."  He thinks, "It's her."  No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well.  "Why do I feel this way?"  The couple should ask.  "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time?  Who have I been talking and listening to?"

The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better!  Consider the source.  When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?"  Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business?  After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business.  You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc.  If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail.  Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.

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