Health Issues, Ex Dilemmas, Unsupportive Children: Younger Woman Is He Worth It?

They tell you, " You are so young, why bother with that old man?"  You think to yourself, "Yeah, why?"  If you are thinking like this, then chances are this man is no longer worth your time young woman.  "There is so much life ahead of you," they say.  "They" (mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, friends, etc.) don't lie when it comes to wanting you happy.  Whay are you with him?  There is, if you plan well, someone out there for you who wants marriage, children, and no additional baggage (like children from a previous relationship, a jealous ex, and unresolved issues on the job or with friends).  You just have to be patient and discerning.  Why be that depressed, young woman on this older man's arm faking smiles (and for some young women, orgasms too with a man who obviously doesn't turn you on anymore, if ever).

Let's just be honest, some men (and women too) just don't see their flaws or their personal dramas.  If they do, they ignore them and hope that the person they are with will ignore them too.  But how long will you look the other way when his soldier isn't standing erect, his children are being disrespectful or when he is often tired when you are ready to do anything but watch TV for leisure every weekend!  There is something wrong when an older man doesn't appreciate or act interested in a woman who is young, sexy, energetic, caring, and intelligent.  If all he can see and complain about is say:  her annoying friend, her interests in her family, the way she organizes the house, or some odd thing she does with her eyes, then you have to wonder what kind of man is he. A perfectionist, controlling, stubborn, or just weird?

Yes, young woman, you who happened to come across this blog, could have someone more compatible.  But for some of you, you keep your old man around like he does an old lazy boy chair, he's comfortable--that's right, comfortable.  He may look worn, tired and may have a few things wrong with him, but he is still comfortable to sit or lay on.  You just don't have the courage nor desire to trade him for a new one.  The signs are all around you, "Get a new chair!  Here's a quality one, better than the one you got...come get me!"  the new, improved chair just screams, "I'm here. I can do a good job too!"  But what do some young women do, look for reasons to keep their old chairs like their old men around until they have simply had enough!  "I am tired of your lazy, old behind...can't you do more for me besides sit there and do nothing!  Why do I still see the stains of exs, children and your health issues years later!  What the X%$# have I got myself into?"  the disgruntled younger woman yells.

When she has made up her mind (and one day she will) and sees that the old dog just won't do any new tricks with her (and only her), she will leave sooner or later.  Pray for yourself or if you know someone in a relationship like this, pray for her.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of When Mothers Cry