It’s Not Always Easy Dating Someone Almost Half Your Age (Younger or Older)

You may not admit it to those around you because you don’t want them to tell you, “I told you so.” But it’s really not easy to date someone with a mindset that is from decades ago when women/men acted this way and that way.  It can be challenging to be with someone who has more energy than you and sees years ahead of them to get things right, while you think “I don’t have long to live to not get things right.” 

So on and on we think about just how different we are from one another—older man, younger woman—until that one day when he or she says some things that make us feel like, “Well maybe we aren’t that different…”  But then disagreements come up and suffocate all the niceties, don’t they?  Things are said that remind us of those age differences once again.  “She is so immature!”  He says.  “He is so old and boring!” She thinks.

You try to deny the truth and suppress your uncomfortable feelings, but neither is working.  For some couples, they start obsessing about ending the relationship.  Then they enlist others to encourage them, “Maybe being with him/her is not what you really want.  If you would have listened to me, I would have introduced you to someone who was more your age.” 

When you are all alone at home or in your car and with no distraction, you have to make up in your mind whether you are committed to this younger woman or older man.  Are you?  You have to be the one that decides if this person is worth all the criticism, future joy AND upset, health issues, etc.  If you know that you just don’t have the energy, mindset or time to commit to the relationship; then don’t deceive yourself or that older man or younger woman who might possibly be in love with you.  Let this person know that you are not interested in marriage, living together, children, or anything else that typical committed couples have.  Rather, tell the one you admire (or possibly might love) that you are still working on some areas in your life, and you are not quite ready to settle down.  It is better that you are open and truthful, this way your lover/friend can prepare his or herself emotionally and not demand any commitment from you.