He's Old Enough to Be Her Dad

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Some of us grew up during a time where dating a man, notice I didn't say boy, while you were still in high school was nothing out of the ordinary.  The girl knew that the man was quite possibly old enough to be her father and the man knew he was robbing the cradle.  It didn't help that the music and movies perpetuated this awkward and downright illegal relationship.  There were rappers singing about older men and girls dating one another. The girls were "loving" these men, lying about their ages, sneaking out of their parent's homes to meet older men, etc.  Although people knew this sort of behavior was wrong, they still encouraged it by bobbing their heads to the drum beats and making jokes about those celebrities who participated in pedophilia.  A man dating a girl or even a young woman 20 plus years younger is no laughing matter.

In many communities around our country, there is some young naïve or "fast tailed" girl or woman who has serious childhood issues that she doesn't recognize or can handle.  So when an older man comes along with his false promises of caring for her, she goes along with whatever he says just to get along.  To her, romance is nothing more than a movie complete with sex and dinner.  In her mind, she has never been treated like a lady by her younger boyfriends.  The older man holds her hand, brings her flowers, writes her love notes, takes her out to the mall, and buys her the things she wants, and much, much more which is usually taught in the bedroom.  Meanwhile, those boys or young men around her can't fathom what she sees in a wrinkled, grey haired, overweight older man who walks slow and talks slower.

There are so many young women who have so much potential to be something great without the need for a father figure, but that is exactly what her subconscious mind tells her when she looks at the older man.  "He will take care of you...he will buy you nice things...you don't have to worry about him playing head games...he loves you..."  But many older men do just that, play mind games.  They know how to take a younger woman and mold and shape her into what he desires (at least for a time--that is until she acts up--then on to the next one.)

Feel free to share the information on this site with those younger women you may know who are currently dating all sorts of men.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men