Immature + Mature = More Relationship Problems

A dating relationship between older and younger, rich and poor, even handicap and well can work, but immature and mature? Nope.  A mature man dating an immature woman will not last if the immature woman doesn't ever grow up.  The immature older man and the mature younger woman dating relationship won't work either.  Common sense shows that when one is dating anyone incompatible with he or she, it is only a matter of time that if one person doesn't conform to be more compatible, the dating relationship won't work in the long term.  This would explain why some intelligent folks dating the immature might compromise normal behavior for abnormal or why some unintelligent folks might start "acting" more mature.  If you want your relationship to last, you have to make some changes whether they be right or worse, wrong for you.  That's right I said wrong, because some people are more concerned about wanting someone to like them; rather than questioning whether certain behaviors are just wrong.  They are willing to conform to just about anything just to keep that man or woman that they are benefiting from which is so wrong!  If you start doing some things in the relationship that you know aren't right for you, beware, it is only a matter of time that you will grow weary of trying to "fit in" just to stick it out with someone especially if this person is the immature one.

Most people as you know, don't like change.  So the older you are, the least likely you will want to change.  For instance, a silly, immature young woman will see a more serious, older man as boring when she is still interested in going out with her friends and partying.  A silly, immature older man may consider a mature younger woman as an "old soul" and feel like he could have dated someone his own age since this younger woman acting older doesn't represent his idea of what a fountain of youth may look or act like--something he might have been craving.

There are many logical as well as illogical reasons as to why someone would be looking to date someone older or younger, but if you are going to enter into this kind of dating relationship, you have to pick someone that is compatible with you whether you consider yourself to be mature or immature.  Trying to find someone who is on your level of maturity, may be difficult, because sometimes dates will manipulate who they really are at least until you get to know them better. 

You may want to ask what your closest friends think of your level of maturity.  Sometimes we may think one thing, but the world sees someone totally different.  Not being honest with yourself about your level of maturity will make it even more challenging to find someone compatible.  Some people think because they are a certain age they are considered mature, but not so fast!  There are many older men who act immature and many younger women who are surprisingly mature.  When the two meet one another, at first, it seems like they may have a lot in common, but then in time, the two will find that one is really not who he or she claims to be.

What the younger woman may have thought was a mature man seated in front of her, turns out to be a little boy looking for some motherly attention and what the mature man thought was this young, free spirit, is really a full grown woman looking for a man to love and care for her in a future marriage.  If you look beyond the surface when choosing a date and pay close attention to the mannerisms and thoughts being conveyed to you by your date, you will find yourself getting a good look at what the future might hold with this person whether he or she is straightforward with you or not.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate  


  1. Really a great post. I liked it and its good that you are sharing with others too.

  2. Maturity definitely plays a role in a relationship. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether someone is mature or immature from the first impression. But it's important to always be thinking about this, and reading dating tips for men and women.


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