Christian Dating: Older Men and Younger Women

In the Bible there are men in relationships with younger women.  For example, Boaz and Ruth were one such couple.  Now there is nothing wrong with men and women dating one another.  But what is wrong is when manipulation, lying, abuse, sexual sins, and ridicule is included in the relationship.  Just think, if all of this relationship drama was ongoing in the book of Genesis with the first couple, Adam and Eve would have been fighting one another, ignoring God, and turning their future offspring against one another!  Then again, who knows what they said to one another after they were expelled from the garden?  When dating someone who is younger or older we have to understand that just because they attend church, read the Bible, have a history of being saved, sanctified and Holy Ghost filled doesn't necessarily mean that this person is someone who we should be dating and this person may not be who God had in mind for us.

Sometimes, as believers, we are very quick to assume that someone we are dating is "the one" and "chosen by God," because they simply appear to act like what we think a believer should be.  We start trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.  "He likes what I like...," she says, but upon closer inspection, that isn't altogether true.  "She is perfect for me...," he boasts, but then six months from now he is on his knees crying out to God, "Send her away, I made a mistake!"  Not so fast!  You wanted someone to come into your life because you were most likely lonely, desperate, confused, or just wanted a friend.  You might have had a list of what you wanted, and so now you got her or him with a few things added to that list and a few removed.  Why would God permit certain experiences to happen and not others when it comes to relating to the opposite sex?

Well, we are to trust in God and we are not to lean on our own understanding, so the Bible tells us.  We should also consider Romans 8:28 when it comes to our personal experiences.  God has a way of teaching us a lesson or two about life and it isn't always going to come from a church setting, a CD, or a Christian television program.  Sometimes these fires we put ourselves in, God will put them out for a time and teach us while we are looking on at the destruction that we caused for ourselves and others.  It's like God taking us by the hand and pointing out our faults, "See what you done, now look what I am going to do.  I know that you made a mistake, but I can't let you just walk away, there are some things I need to teach you about yourself, the other person and how this all relates to my perfect will."

So if you believe in a mighty God and you know that you may have made some mistakes with someone or you are seeking God about the person you are currently with, may I direct you to the original plan, what does God want to do in you and through you?  What do you recall about walking with him, before you got distracted with this person, job, children etc. that he wanted you to do in the first place?  You might have to go back to the Book of Genesis in your life to get the answers you need.

Consider this, don't let an older man/younger woman dating relationship keep you from your higher calling.  Stay true to the God who saved you back when your current partner "...didn't know you when...!"  Men and women can't save you, but an awesome Creator whose son's name is Jesus can, get back to spending time with your first love and he will lead you when it comes to your human love.

To God be the glory!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic