Isolation: When the Older Man Doesn't Want His Young Woman Around Anyone But Him

He's out there, that nice guy who says in such a nice voice, "You are so pretty, I just want you all to myself."  This mature man knows exactly what he is doing when he subtly or quite boldly tells a young woman what he expects from her.  "I really enjoy your company, come around more often.  Whatever you need I can supply those things for you..."  Now if she isn't discerning, she will just laugh and dismiss what he says as unimportant.  The young lady assumes that her life is still her own--independent and free even with her gentleman suitor.  Little does she know, she will soon be entering a world where she will be repeatedly asked to shut off her phone off, stay with him, move away with him, etc.  Family, friends, co-workers and others are just not welcome.  Gradually the older man's critical voice will rise up and object to anyone or anything that interferes with his attempt at building an isolated world where it's just two and no more.

As she draws near to the man who "means the world to me," it will become increasingly difficult to reach the young woman, because his mind control will begin to take root.  Her voice mail will pick up, but she won't.  E-mails from acquaintances will go unopened.  She will become a stranger to friends.  Her family will begin to worry.  Meanwhile, the older, controlling man will have her right where he wants her with him and only him.

Isolation is a form of abuse.  Many mature, abusive men are either unaware of what they are doing, don't care or do care and systematically isolate their victims.  Persuading or forcing someone to stay in a room, a home, a car, etc. knowing full well she wants to see people and do things apart from you is deceptive, controlling and evil. 

Maybe the young female doesn't want to be bothered with her family and if that is the case, then her older gentleman friend might want to encourage her to at least write or call them just to let them know that everything is alright sometimes.  But some men are content with their partners staying away from relatives, co-workers, friends, and even children, because this means they will remain loyal to them.

If the young woman should rebel against her older mate's wishes and decide that she is going to see her loved ones, talk to male friends, shop alone, work late hours, or anything else that she wants to do, then there is a psychological hell he will put her through whether in gentle ways using sweet words and affection or harsh ones using threats and fists.  If loved ones should come around, these jealousy men will ignore partners and them, fight, or do things to make all parties feel unwelcome when visiting the couple's residence.  He doesn't want them showing up and he doesn't mind acting rude, critical and bitter around them either.  These controlling men might make their partners feel guilty when they want to go some where without them or if they should decline seeing their relatives.

A young woman who knows her partner is isolating her is going to act fearful when he does things that keep her close to him.  She isn't going to tell others what is happening, because she doesn't want to look bad or make others think negatively about a man she has bragged about or defended.  She also feels ashamed and angered about the way her mate acts when her loved ones are around.  So the young woman will distance herself from family and friends, put a limit on outside activities, or don't do much at all just so that she doesn't have to deal with her mean-spirited partner's bad-mouthing and tantrums as a result of her wanting to see loved ones, go places, etc.

You may be a victim, an abuser or know of someone in a relationship where isolation is ongoing.  Take a look at what is happening, bring attention to the problem and seek solutions.  It is not "okay, normal" or a loving thing to say and do things to keep a person isolated, nor should one abandon a friend who you know is in an abusive relationship.  Much of this isolation behavior derives from jealousy, insecurities, childhood issues, and being a victim possibly of abuse yourself.  Don't enable dysfunction, speak up, establish boundaries and if necessary end the relationship. 

Isolation Tactics an Abuser will Use

1.  Tells you what to do with your money or tells you not to work, so you will not be out and about.
2.  Causes friction between you and others due to negative words he says about them i.e.) He lies.
3.  Creates a list of things you are expected to do when interacting with others i.e.) "You only go places with me.  You are not permitted to talk to the opposite sex when I'm not around whether on or off the Internet..."
4.  Doesn't want people visiting the residence--makes all sorts of excuses.
5.  Doesn't want to visit your relatives and friends and would rather you don't go either.
6.  Suddenly comes up with "plans" to keep you from going places.
7.  Tells you some things like, "It's just me and you, we don't need anyone...We can stay at home, we don't need to go anywhere...All we need is each other...We can be all alone on an island--just you and I, Baby."
8.  Calls and checks up on you often and may even joke about you, "Staying put.  I hope you aren't going anywhere, you stay in your place, Woman."
9.  Complains, vents, yells, threatens or does things to keep you from leaving the home.
10.  Offers to do many things so that you are never in an atmosphere where you could possibly meet and talk to other men i.e.) shops for you, runs errands, fixes things, offers to go places with you, etc.

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Her Immaturity Wearing Off on You?

You didn't anticipate that the young woman's youthful spirit, energetic demeanor, and other interesting things about her would rub off on you.  But there are those immature sayings, silly expressions, and other annoying things that just don't compliment her well.  In addition, you catch yourself acting like her.

When you are set in your ways, mature, and know right from wrong, it can be troubling to look at yourself one day reverting back to a time in your life that you didn't find all that fun, smart, etc.  Young people can bring out the best or worst in you, so beware of those times that you are just not being "adult" about some things.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and other books.

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Unattractive But Beautiful...His Words That Is

Oh the seductive sound of a male voice telling you how sweet, sexy and sophisticated you are, young woman!  It makes you feel good, doesn't it?  You love when he tells you how much he enjoys your company, how beautiful you are, how smart...you can't help but be in love with the sound of his inspirational words.  But you have a secret and your girlfriends know what it is, your mom might know, and your dad doesn't want to think about it.  The well-kept secret was your date is just not your type.  He is unattractive.

Now that your secret is out, what are you going to do about it?  I mean he sounds so charming.  He says things that no other man has ever told you.  He makes you feel like you are on top of the world.  You just never heard such wonderful things come out of one's mouth.  Oh, but...we know he's ugly.

This is why you just don't settle young ladies for any man no matter how sweet, adorable or kind he is--you just don't!  You don't make unattractive men think that you are into them, when you know you are not.  You are basically living a lie!  Sure those words these unattractive, older gentlemen say are beautiful, but when you walk with these men in public, who most women wouldn't even think of giving their time much less a second glance, you got to feel confident.  You can't be concerned about what people think of you, a gorgeous 10, with the fat old guy.  Instead, you have to motivate yourself to want to be with him despite his imperfections.  You have to remind yourself you have flaws too.  You tell yourself things like, "It's what's on the inside that matters...I will just have to overlook those things on his face I don't like.  His crooked teeth...big ears.  The fact he doesn't workout.  I have to remember he is older and one day I will be older..."  That's a lot of self-talk in order to maintain a relationship with someone you don't find attractive isn't it?

Save yourself all the mind manipulation and face the facts, you wouldn't give this man the time of day if it wasn't for those sweet things he says to you and his material wealth just might be an added benefit, right?  So if the sales pitch you give yourself becomes a burden and you just can't keep making yourself go out with him, use some beautiful words of your own and start making a slow departure.  It's for the best if looks are that important to you.  Besides think of your future offspring (sigh).  God bless 'em!

Nicholl McGuire

Daddy Issues - Dating Older Men

As much as some of us women would like to avoid a certain topic about dating older men and the connection to our fatherless issues, it is a known fact.  Is there a void that we experience when fathers don't act like they care or want to come around us daughters?  Yes.  Do we feel like we can fill our voids with some attention from older partners?  At times.

When I look back at my dating experiences with older men, I have to shake my head.  Why didn't I see the signs?  Why didn't someone tell me that I was trying to keep myself from having to think about what was really hurting me on the inside?  It was an absent emotional bond with Dad.  He was often too tired to talk, too busy to visit, too angry to be good company, too this or too that! 

I took my frustration out on others.  I became angry, had moments in the past where I drank too much, shook my behind in the club (clothes on--thank God), made stupid decisions, etc.  I argued with my older dates about things they couldn't do for me; at times I hated them for not knowing how I felt. Some days I wished to be with men my own age while I tried to bottle up my tears and act mature, happy...what was going on back then?  A need to want to feel accepted by Dad I suppose.  I wanted to hear that I was okay, appreciated, wasn't ugly, and was going places in life without a "...but you need to...you better..."coming from Dad. 

You see, some of you dads might be wanting that connection to your daughters, but you just aren't getting it because you have no clue what to do and some of you daughters might want the same.  Dad might have thought he did his part when his daughter was younger, but can I tell you, it doesn't stop!  Communication is key to having quality relationships.  A runaway daughter sees her runaway mid-life father pre-occupied with someone, possibly younger than her, who makes him temporarily feel good.  Instead of working to heal a broken bond with his kin, he ignores her and vice versa.  The daughter might be grown, but she wants to know that Daddy loves her.  However, we have to face the truth that some men are incapable of love.  They aren't interested in loving anyone.  They are self-absorbed and see people as servants.  They use and abuse.  These toxic dads we have to grieve and let them go.

So if there is one thing I wanted to leave some of you readers with, is if you have a bond with a daughter maintain it and if you are a daughter stay cool with dad if you can.  Fathers can establish a healthy bond with their daughters by making a phone call sometimes, sending a card in the mail or flowers, or share a message via a loved one (if she isn't speaking to you) "Dad cares."

Nicholl McGuire is the author of the upcoming book, Say Goodbye to Dad.

GIRL TALK | Dating Older Guys

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Interview by Marla Martenson

Declare Today is the Day that You are Free from Controlling Dates

Jealous, angry, bitter, resentful...you know how some controlling singles can be, so why deal with them when you don't have to?  Today is your day to be free from any man or woman who wants to make you feel bad about wanting to be selfish every now and again.  Do we have to be together all the time for every event?  Do we have to call or text whenever we change our location?  Do I have to stay away from my friends to be with you?  Are you serious?

Wake up!  You are being controlled.  Live your life!

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

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Dating Older Men - When He Thinks You Are Younger

He didn't think that you were in your thirties or was it your forties?  The mature gentleman, who absolutely loves young women, assumed you were in your 20s.  What a disappointment for this guy with such a strict preference?  You see, for some men, they will handle older women a bit different than they do younger ones--they won't.  They strongly believe that older women have much emotional baggage and they don't want to help in the least bit way with any of it.  If you play, young and dumb, you will see some of these older guys' games right before your eyes.  There are usually more young women where you came from and they spend time finding out which ones are going to meet their needs, pronto!

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I started graying in my 20s and felt the need to dye my hair.  I knew that if I let that gray hair show, men were going to think I was older than I was.  As I matured, I realized they needed to know I was not the silly young girl they thought I was, so I began to let that gray hair show.  There would be no more talking down to me, making stupid statements, and acting as if I was a lost puppy that needed a home.  Something as simple as letting my gray hair show sent a bold message to the ladies and gentlemen, I'm not whoever or whatever you thought I was.  Funny, how people treat you a bit more respectful when you look and act your age.

Now when you look younger--really young, some manipulative elders will take advantage.  They falsely assume you haven't had much life experience, you are ignorant to a lot of things, and they think having fun each day is one of your priorities.  They don't think of you as marriage material or baby-making.  You are a "friend" and that's about it.  Therefore, some older guys who have a bit of money, enjoy going to nice places, and treating their pretty young "things" will do some nice things for you until they grow weary of you or vice versa.  The rule of thumb:  look pretty and don't talk too much.  You start talking about the future, children, where he has been, who he knows, and wanting to meet his relatives, the older guy just might start to distance himself if he isn't sold out on your type.  Yes, he has "a type" and if you don't fit into that mold, he isn't thinking about any present or future. 

Now the "friend" relationship works when you don't care to be in a serious commitment with someone, but when feelings begin to grow, you want more.  But an older gentleman may not want to see you as anything more than whatever you agreed to be to him.

I learned quite a few life lessons when it comes to dating older men unfortunately the hard way.  Those lessons were the premise for starting this blog years ago.  I wanted young women as well as mature men to see the ups and downs when it comes to age gap dating and do it wisely.  I wanted people on the outside looking in to be informed and have a bit of compassion for these couples.  It isn't always easy.   Money, time, and energy is often lost in these partnerships because couples get swept away with "fun, different, new experience" that they don't realize just how many people they affect when they make poor choices in selecting mates.  Children from previous marriages lose respect for their parent(s).  Relatives shun or distance themselves from their young family members who refuse to listen to warnings.  Religious people judge these couples because they assume something unholy is going on (which it is sometimes especially when the older gentleman is still married).  Children are born into the new relationship wearing scarlet letters because some relatives believe they should have been born in wedlock.  Society frowns at the dirty old men who date women who are young enough to be daughters and nieces.  Sometimes children are born with health issues because there is such a wide age gap. 

When a mature man thinks a woman is younger than he thinks, he has a choice: he can either go ahead and date her and actually enjoy the experience of dating someone more mature then what he was hoping for or he can let the lady go in peace.  Too often people settle and later learn that they are unhappy.  If a young woman is misrepresenting herself or falsely advertising that she is younger than what she claims to be, this might backfire.  For some mature men, they are strict about the kind of young women they like to date and if the woman is not really twenty-something it might be an issue for some.  There are differences between age groups and not everyone can tolerate those differences.
So be sure, young lady, you are representing an accurate portrayal of who you are.  Consider this, a mature man who is adamant about your age, most likely will not change from his stance.  Your youthful appearance will eventually fade, especially after child-bearing, and he will no longer find you as attractive as he once did.  Sooner or later, he will find that comparable match who will be a lot younger than you.

Nicholl McGuire shares more dating tips at lovedatingadvice.blogspot.com

Young Woman: Think Before You Have Children with an Older Man

Not everyone who has children with an older partner is getting along well and the children are happy and healthy.  There are some things that you already know when it comes to having a baby with an older guy and then there are those unexpected issues that you least expect.

1.  The baby might have some health ailments.

It is inevitable, but some children do have their share of developmental problems because one or both parents are older.  Do your research before you start planning to have a baby with someone over a decade older than you.  Know what the risks are and find out what you can do to help alleviate some of the issues.

2.  The sex will not remain the same as it was when you first started dating.

For many starry-eyed couples, they have a false belief that everything will just continue to be sexy and fun for always.  They will talk of taking medicines to keep their sex lives active and come up with creative ways to enjoy love-making.  However, as you age, so does your mind and body.  There will be days even weeks, irregardless of your age, you just don't feel like it.  So add demanding newborns, whiny toddlers and rebellious teens to the mix and the gap widens since the last time you had sex.

3.  Sometimes impatience, moodiness, and tiredness will affect dreams of the happy family life.

If you thought that having a baby with your mature beau would bring you closer, think again.  Men and women who have had children already or just beginning to think about having them as mature adults, have a good idea what to expect.  Now how they endure through the whole child-rearing process is left up to speculation.  Some couples actually break up because they just can't handle themselves and their needy children.  The aging process isn't easy for some.  If one isn't happy within, he isn't going to give his all to yet another relationship and possibly more children--some divorced men have been there and done that and really don't want to do it again.  Young lady, do more watching what your older guy friend does and less listening to his charming speech about how you will make a great mom.  Will he really make a great dad?

4.  How old will you be and how old will he be when the child is in high school, college, etc.?

This question will pop up in your mind as you look at those around you who appear to be more active with their children while your partner not so much.  You will think of this question as your mate grows older.  You will start to wonder if he will be alive to see the children graduate, get married and have children of their own.

5.  The children will notice that dad is an old man.

As much as you say, "Age is nothing but a number" to yourself, the children will clearly see that their father isn't like you and those young dads they see.  They will ask questions, "Why can't dad do this...Why can't our father go there...Why is he always tired?  Why doesn't he do things like the other dads?"  Make all the excuses you want, the reality is he is older and you will most likely be the one running the children around to school activities, entertaining events, and more.

So just ponder deeply whether having a baby with an older man is really what you want to do.

Nicholl McGuire provides spiritual commentary on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

6 Tips on Detecting a Stupid Older Man - He Exists and Will Drive You Crazy

I know some niave, gullible, young women just don't want to believe that they could ever land a downright unintelligent, older man for a date.  But it happens and you best be watchful when it comes to some of these stupid so-called mature men.

1.  He claims he knows things that he really doesn't.

Quiz him on some things about life.  Listen to his answers.  Is he trying to impress you with ignorant slang?  Is he giving you complete answers?  Are you at a lost when trying to follow his conversation? Does he even know what he is talking about?

2.  He doesn't have much conversation and when he talks you almost want to laugh.

"Is that really all he has for me?" you think.  "I can't believe he asked me that question, is he stupid?"

3.  When you speak, he is looking all around, over your shoulder, or staring at you like some Weirdo?

You know you are attractive and intelligent.  Apparently, he not only can't make any healthy eye contact, but is he really listening to what you are saying?  Something is happening in that mind up there (sigh).

4.  He takes far too long to respond to your questions.  Deep thinking unnecessary.

Simple questions, simple answers.  So why does he take so long to answer?  How much time do you need to think about whether you like sprinkled cheese on pasta or not?  How long does it take to get one's mind started up to make conversation?

5.  He jokes and laughs way too much and nothing he or you says is really that funny.

"Okay, dude are you a retard?"

6.  He has nothing to show for all his hard work in life.

It isn't any wonder this guy is divorced twice, owns no property (his wives do), he wears tacky clothes, drives a beat up car (his wives have luxury automobiles), he rarely sees his children (wives don't trust him), etc.  Could it be that his past partners discovered he was stupid about women, money, chidlren, and men's fashion and kicked him to the curb?

So stupid is as stupid does.  When a man has a long pattern of making dumb life decisions, it is safe to say that he is a bit slow.  You will need to ask yourself, "Am I patient enough to deal with all the stupid stuff he will do if I continue to date him?"

There are many reasons why women his own age don't bother with them.  Young women sometimes ignore obvious red alert signs when it comes to dating; instead, they hope for the best.  This is a stupid move.  Check yourself on your intelligence level.  When you start seeing signs of stupidity, don't shake them off or reason them away.  Keep your eyes open for someone intelligent like you. Ponder this, that older man might be the father of your children one day.  Do you really want your children to perform badly in life?  

Nicholl McGuire

When You Discover a Date Has a Girlfriend

The news can be disheartening; a man you like has a girlfriend. The heart aches; the breathing is heavy, and the desire to pay this man back for lying to you increases with each passing moment. But before one plans her next strategy, be grateful that you know. Now is the time to start thinking about what you can do to make yourself feel at peace once again.

First, take a moment to undo everything in your mind you thought you knew about the person you have been dating. He obviously liked you a lot because he lied about having a girlfriend. But that doesn’t mean, that he is still an honest, kind, sweetheart of a man. Instead, you have discovered he is a liar, not as nice as you originally thought and is selfish. The likelihood that he is going to treat you like he did his girlfriend in the future is probable. Once the newness of the relationship wears off with you, he will be out pretending to be single with someone else.

Second, confront this man on his lies, but not in a way that shows him you still care about him. You will need to cry your eyes out privately, have your grieving moment out of the way, before you get to the point that you can give him a cold stare and speak your truth. So what might you say? Express your feelings and tell him what you want to do i.e.) break up, date others, move on with your life, etc.

Third, make no apologies and keep feelings of guilt far away. It isn’t necessary to apologize for any emotional outburst, cursing, or anything else—you are angry and you have every right to feel this way. You were deceived by someone you trusted and you will need to share your disappointment with him and a supportive friend. But what you don’t want to do is make yourself so sick about the matter that you end up doing something so bad that you might go to jail.

Fourth, fight the temptation to stalk the man and his girlfriend. Although hurt feelings will make you think about doing some strange things, don’t feed into them. Even if the girlfriend is aware that you exist, she will have to go through her own personal trials too. She may or may not break up with him. Depending on how long they have been together, she just might stick it out with your date. So if the plan is to tell the girlfriend everything you know about her man, stop, it just might draw them closer.

Lastly, don’t be available to him sexually, physically, or any way that keeps you hanging on to him. Unfortunately, there are far too many people who enjoy using others to get their personal needs met. If the man suspects that you are still weak for him then he will take advantage of whatever you are willing to give him. So when he and his girlfriend have a fight, he might come to you for sex like he has always done. If he needs some money, wants to drive your car or stay at your home, he will boldly ask because he feels that now that you know he has a girlfriend, you will be okay with it. In time, you will grow weary of being used and will find yourself giving him an ultimatum.

Nicholl McGuire provides web content to individuals and businesses.  To learn more, visit http://nichollmcguiremedia.blogspot.com

Reasons Why Women Are Attracted to Older Men

Online Resources for Those in Age Gap Relationships

Whether you are in an age gap relationship or want to learn more, there is useful material here and around the web to help and encourage you or those you know.  Enjoy!

Ideal Age Gap for Couples Revealed

Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?

NUMBERS GAME: 10 MAY-DECEMBER COUPLES IN HOLLYWOOD

Would YOU have an age gap romance?

Thanks for Stopping By! Tips Dating Older Men, Younger Women

When we have this desire to step out of our comfort zones and try something different, we don't always consider the possible consequences and disappointments of our actions, and sometimes we don't believe that there is anything wrong in what moves us. 

There are moments in our lives that we are simply tired of the way things have been and we seek change.  To be in an age gap relationship is something new and different for many.  But like with all relationships, it comes with it's share of challenges.  Some will like you, others won't.  Today you are in love, tomorrow not so much.  The past is behind you, the future might look bleak.  You get the point if you have been in a relationship with someone younger or older for some time now.

On this blog, there are many videos and articles that share insightful tips on May-December romances.  Some of the advice is humorous and other information quite serious.  Just as there are good people in this world, there are also bad ones.  It is up to all of us to be on the look out for the strange, abusive, crazy, and dangerous in our presence and then proceed to safeguard ourselves and loved ones.

I hope that you, who have already subscribed as well as those who are visiting Tips Dating Older Men, Younger Women, will be enlightened.  Thank you so much for your continued support.

Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Nicholl McGuire Media

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Over 24 and Considered "Too Old" for the Old Guy While He Let's Himself Go

Everyone is entitled to his or her dating preferences.  If you like them young and you are 50 plus so be it.  If you like them old and you are 20 plus, that's your prerogative.  But what isn't cool is when one is vicious about calling women, who are still relatively young, old when he (or she) is visually and physically old.  What nerve some have?  It's almost laughable to see someone who is out of shape, miserable, and often weary from a cozy office job talk about what women, younger than he, look like and how he only dates younger, sexy and beautiful women.

It's time for attractive women whether young or old to raise the bar!  Far too many ladies are settling for men who don't bother to keep themselves up.  They tolerate, not only an unattractive looking guy, but sometimes those who could barely take care of themselves financially much less a woman. Is it really hard to meet people in the dating world or is the Internet just too d*mn convenient to get hooked up with whoever whenever?

A woman whether over 24 or younger is still a human being that can be a good friend or your worst nightmare depending on how you treat her.  She can shower a mature man she is really into with much love and kindness as long as he respects her, but the day he doesn't, her personality changes and things are typically never the same. If the old guy insults his date with comments about how old she is, what she knows or doesn't know for her age, or makes comments about certain parts of her anatomy getting "older," he will eventually kiss that partner goodbye.  You can only get away with saying so much if you are fit yourself, attractive, and successful.  

Nicholl McGuire also contributes to Relationship and Dating Advice blog here.

Does Your Date Make Less Money than You?

The longer you date someone, the more you learn about him or her. You begin to find out things that aren't so flattering and you start to wonder whether you want to continue to date this person. One thing that can turn into a big issue later is when a date makes less money than you. Now sometimes this isn't a problem if he or she is good about managing what little he or she has. But when this person doesn't make much money, sooner or later low funds will affect you and your wallet.

Consider the many things one wants to do while dating. Most of these travel plans cost money. Does your date have a savings toward making any of his or her wishes a reality or is this person expecting you to foot the bills?

When it comes to eating out and at home, who is often putting out the money? Does this bother you? If it does and you have been hiding your feelings about it, you might want to start discussing your concerns before things get any more serious. If you started out paying most of the bills in the dating phase, know that your role most likely won’t change as the relationship gets older.

A man or woman who is use to being taken care of is usually attracted to people willing to meet his or her needs. What is your date’s history? Has his partners typically been older or younger? This is significant because chances are if you are older, he or she has some other underlying issues and being with someone mature makes him or her feel mentally and physically secure. Sometimes a date is thrown into a role he or she didn't plan on playing out i.e.) Sugar Daddy, Father, Sugar Momma, Mother.

You will know when the connection with a date is more about material wealth then it is about love when he or she does the following:

1. The person never offers to pay for anything while you are out.
2. He or she doesn't appear to love or even like you much, but when you pull out your wallet, there is much attention and affection thrown your way.
3. You can’t have a conversation with him or her without it involving money or you assisting him or her in some way.
4. Your date acts very needy, pouts, and does things that irritate you when it comes to purchases you have made with your money.
5. The date doesn't bother to save any money and expects you to bail him or her out.

Once you see the truth, here’s what you will need to do:

1. Scale back on the gift-giving.
2. Don’t offer your date any financial assistance or service. Observe how he or she handles matters.
3. Plan to attend events and travel, but ask for contributions from your date if he or she would want to go along. If the date doesn't help, go without him or her.

Life is too short to permit someone to take advantage of your kindness. Be sure that anyone you date whether they make less or more money is someone that sincerely loves you for you!

Nicholl McGuire shares more relationships tips here.

The Young Woman who Runs from Her Father to the Older Guy

She isn't attracted to the older man for the sake of being attracted to him, this perceptive young woman is running to him because he is a kind, sweet, caring version of what she wished her own father to be.  Everything isn't about sex and money with this particular lady.  She is quite content with or without those things, just so long as the older guy is attentive and makes her feel special and secure, he wins and angry dad loses.

Dad should have seen it coming long ago.  When he walked past his daughter as if he didn't see her or when he sat in front of the television screen far too long while never bothering to ask, "So how was your day in school?"  He should have known that he would be unimportant in her life sooner rather than later, because he could care less about his daughter's lifestyle unless it some how involved him.

The mature man, who might have a daughter of his own, is not only going to embrace the youthful beauty, but he is going to care for her (while possibly pitying her) in a way that she wants.  The troubled older man might use the woman's pain to benefit him while creating the illusion he is safe. Either way, if the man, who might be a possible father himself, isn't close to his own daughter, somehow this young lady will fulfill his emotional disconnect from his own offspring.

Some mothers, who are about the same age as their daughters older boyfriends, are disturbed by their choices in older men sometimes.  They might look like their husbands or exes, act in similar ways, or do things that make them hurt inside for their daughters. These discerning mothers see through some of these older men like looking through a glass store front.  Sure, they look good on the outside, but upon closer inspection, "What does this guy really want with my daughter?  Is he just as troubled as she?  Is someone or something absent in his life too?"

It isn't easy for some age-gap couples, because people change like they do in other types of relationships.  What once served its purpose during the courtship will one day be reviewed and replaced with something new, and if what is being offered is dismal, dissatisfying, or downright wrong, someone will wake up and the relationship will surely come to an end.  

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

May-December Relationships - When It Comes to Dating: Age is Just a Number or is it?

When young women meet older men or vice versa, they will talk about how age is just a number and who cares about the age gap, and how much they love their partners. They could care less about the years their dates have been on the planet. Most observers understand these age gap relationships, while others not so much—especially when the person who is dating someone older is their daughter or son. Families don’t tend to embrace the age gap relationship as well as some would have you to believe. Parents, grandparents and other relatives want to see their loved ones happy, but they don’t always like the choices they make in mates particularly when the dates are as old as they. Of course, the happy couple doesn't care what the critics say, they love one another. But age does eventually play a part in the relationship.

Marriage

The older partner that has experienced much in his or her life is sometimes not open to discussing the possibility of being married once again which will make those who find marriage important bristle. The mature date knows what marriage means and is not at times happy about the idea of making yet another promise that he or she might not be able to keep, so he or she will drag out the relationship promising to commit one day. A young person that has never been married before will be tempted to add pressure to an already intense situation causing the older person to put off getting married.

Children

A young person who has never had children is typically open to the idea which might stimulate an increase interest in getting married sooner rather than later. He or she wants to feel secure in knowing that a partner will be around to help parent the children. However, the one who has been there and done that isn't so excited about the possibility of having yet another child. This person might reflect on a time of much struggle, be concerned about the baby’s needs affecting his or her work and bank account, and avoid the topic because he or she doesn't like the idea or want to be a part of it.

Life experience

As much as some would like to think that life experience has no bearing on a May-December relationships, it does! The more mature a man or woman is the more knowledge he or she has about life. Sometimes people will change during their evolution of maturing. A young person is more likely to change his or her mindset, personal goals, and more than an older partner. He or she isn't typically settled and will not be too happy if he or she feels like an the mature mate is attempting to hold him or her back. Until the pair is in similar places in life, the relationship will be challenged.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual advice on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

Too Much Talking About Your Young Lady or Older Guy?

Some best friends, relatives, co-workers, and others aren't the least bit interested in connecting with an older man and younger woman dating one another.  Some have acted strangely, others have closed off circles, while a few might have faked support.

One of the biggest mistakes a couple makes in an age gap relationship is talk about one another a little too much to those in their inner circles.  Revealing things like personal issues they have with one another to how they act when it comes to sex, too much information will cause some healthy couples to put up their signs, "Keep away."

Friends, who have known each other for decades, begin to grow distant but the distance can increase even more when a buddy keeps talking about his "Pretty young thing...how she makes me feel...I just love when she...I don't like it when she..."  Some friends become jealous while others just don't want to hear things about the young woman in almost every conversation.

The young woman, who is excited about dating the older guy with money, loses her friends over time because, she too likes to run her mouth about what she receives from him, what she likes and doesn't like about the man.  The pair belong together, at least for a time, until one or both isn't so positive about the relationship.

Funny, how time flies when you're having fun!

Nicholl McGuire

Brent Morin: Don't Date Rich Girls; They're INSANE

Dating Warning Signs that Predict What the Future Might Look Like

10 Warning Signs On Dating Hyper-sexualized Young Women

From the time a young girl was old enough to walk, she may have already experienced some things too graphic to mention here when it comes to her sexuality.  By the time she is in her 20s, she has seen, heard and felt enough pain and pleasure that it isn't any wonder that at times she dresses and acts in ways that might be considered shameful, disrespectful, and downright foolish to some older men.

As much as some mature men would love a twenty-something beauty on their arms, what they don't realize is there is often baggage that comes with the hyper-sexualized type--those very sexy women who will do almost anything for a good time.  From various personalities they can switch on and off to eating disorders, these sexy ladies are seriously too hot to handle and may create much drama in an unsuspecting man's life.  Some older men don't realize what they are getting themselves into until its too late i.e.) rape accusations, stalking, jail etc.

When checking out these pretty young women both on and offline, mature men should consider the following:

1.  Is the young woman often seen in photographs half nude or totally nude?

2.  Does she strip, use drugs, or abuse alcohol?

3.  How might accepting her wild lifestyle affect a possible future relationship with her, your life, or affect others in your family?

4.  Is she frequently seen flirting or "hanging out" with males?

5.  What is the likelihood that the young lady has slept with at least one or two of her so-called good friends?  How might you feel sharing her with other men?

6.  Does she have a close relationship with mom, dad or both to the point that it makes you feel uncomfortable or is her relationship so bad to the point that police had to get involved?

7.  Have you experienced moments with the young lady that made you question whether she was mentally stable?

8.  Has she asked you to do things to her or others that were strange, odd, or painful?  Did you do these things against your better judgment?  What might happen if you keep doing them?

9.  Have you had dark dreams about her or experienced some bizarre things when she isn't around?

10.  Does she curse often, yell, or make a big deal about things that most people wouldn't?

These are just some things you will want to think about before planning a future where you might be taking care of the young woman financially and physically.  Some of these hyper-sexualized women know just how bad things are with them mentally, physically and spiritually while hoping to find a few good men to save them.  When that doesn't work, they often do the following:  get pregnant in the hopes their lovers will stick around, later abandon children, leave their babies with many different people, or choose to abort because they are incapable of handling the responsibility of raising children.

If you know someone who appears to have it together, yet tends to be overly sexy and has been at times very irresponsible in her decision-making, pay attention to the warning signs early on and protect yourself in more ways than one.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

She Was a Child, He Was a Man

I never thought in a million years that my mom would lift up the liner of my purse and see many letters from a young girl about 13 written to me.  The girl was my best friend.  She was going through a tough time back in '86.  Dad was no where to be found, mom was often working, and my friend had a lot of time to hang out.  Me, I had no time to spare, my parents didn't believe in me spending anytime over friends' homes or they coming to our home, nor was I allowed to ride on buses or chill on street corners, parking lots or malls.  Phone calls were limited and so was afterschool events.  So back then, before Internet, there was much letter writing between friends.


I knew that things were beginning to take a different turn for my good friend when she started mouthing off to our teacher back in elementary school.  The guy was nice and more patient than most teachers.  I was thinking at the time, "What was up with her?"  The rebellious student had a lot on her mind.  I knew her secrets, but I didn't know just how bad they could affect her personality, but I could never tell--I promised.


My friend had met a guy who was 21 years old that same year.  She had been lying about her age for a long time.  I thought it was strange at that a young man was interested in her.  I mean she was attractive and had a build that didn't look like a teen, yet  I could see how young she looked in the face, but I guess the older guy didn't seem to notice or didn't care.  I really wished he had taken a better look at her between all the makeup she wore and simply told my flirtatious friend, "You're too young Sweetheart and moved on."  But the letters never revealed he rejected her, rather he seemed to be taking advantage of her and I mentioned some things in the hope that she would get some help.


For many months, she confessed how she felt about the guy.  "I love him...he's so nice," she would say.  She talked about how he liked her and bought her things.  She said she really wanted to be with him.  At some point, her mom detected she had a boyfriend.  However, in time she knew he was older, but hadn't pressed the issue about her daughter breaking up with him.  I thought it was bizarre back then that mom seemed not to care.  But looking back, the man most likely was giving the mother some money or helping the family out in some way.


I hated keeping my friend's secrets, I eventually did throw those once hidden letters away at the request of my mother, they started becoming more and more graphic.  The girl would share her experiences and I being a faithful friend just couldn't divulge her secrets.  I was 11 years old at the time.  My friend's life wasn't the least bit innocent.  As I read each letter, I felt like a piece of my own childhood was evaporating. 


When I reflect on the day that my mom found those many letters, it was freeing in some way even though I was quite scared that she might do something.   I was so glad not to carry my friend's burdens anymore.  That was her life and her mother was going to have to deal with whatever she permitted her daughter to do.


By the time that school year ended, I don't really know what happened to my friend.  The last I heard, she was going to a different school.


Nicholl McGuire 

Money, Sex and Online Dating

If you thought you were going to get online, find someone at one of those dating websites and all would be just fine in the end, think again!  There will be challenges sooner or later when you meet these people who flock to the Internet to set up dating profiles and upload attractive headshots.  For many online daters, it's a business whether they choose to call their dating experiences that.  They are on these dating websites for upfront money and/or sex.  You just aren't going to get something for nothing!  The wealthy man calls the beautiful women he wants to date prostitutes because they want cash, gifts and other things before they agree to have sex.  The women complain about being called gold-diggers.  Then there are both men and women irregardless of their sexual preferences, locations, etc. they have their share of issues they are running away from, desire to relocate, and want more out of life and so someone online is supposed to save them from their boring routines or rescue them out of their poor situations.


Now let's just put money and sex to the side for a moment.  Do you really like that guy and is he really your type?  Is that girl so beautiful that you will do almost anything for her like marry her for starters?  The truth is that many available as well as unavailable men and women are not sold out on their online dates, at least not in the beginning of the courtship, they say things like, "I think I could one day love him...She might be a good wife one day..."  So in the meantime have a good time and get what you can out of the deal, right? 


It takes time to truly get to know someone, but a man or woman with a pressing offline need is not going to waste too much time chatting, winking, texting, and doing much else before asking, "So when are we getting together?"  Then when the time comes, someone better deliver on the goods or else face any number of things depending on the date's mindset.  So many have had bad experiences feeling pressured to deliver on what was suggested online or promised.


There is nothing wrong with establishing boundaries and telling a person where you stand when it comes to a casual dating, serious commitment, or fling experience.  But what is wrong is leading someone to believe things just to get things!  Whatever the desire, wouldn't it be best simply to state it--no sugar-coating and no pretending to go along just to get along either?  Even if your request is met with a "no," take heed, learn from the experience, and get needs met in other ways.


Unfortunately, some online daters ask for trouble when they assume they are going to visit an Internet website and get what they want when they want.  As much as one would like to believe that these dating websites will deliver whether you pay or not, you still have to face the harsh reality that people are people and if they like you, they like you and if they don't, they don't.


Money and sex, if you hope for one or both, be prepared for the consequences in your rush to get these things.


Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.  Would you like more dating advice, see here.

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Age: Is it REALLY just a number? 04/17 by The Relationship Handbook | Romance Podcasts

Age; Is it REALLY just a number? 04/17 by The Relationship Handbook | Romance Podcasts

My Sugar Daddy Experiences

Where Do I Meet Successful Men?

http://www.therightmanonline.com, http://adamgilad.com

How Does the Young Woman End Up with an Older Man a Lot Like Dad?

I never planned to date any men who acted like my dad, but yet I found myself in so many ways being attracted to older men who had some or as many of my dad's traits that I could find.  I realize now there were "triggers," things I might have liked, wished, or didn't like about my own father, but I didn't know this at the time.  On the surface, I could care less about dad's appearance, personal interests, etc. yet someone within me, cared a whole lot! 

When the need to want to be close to dad was there, it showed up in the mates I agreed to date.  I didn't seek out these men, they came to me which was quite bizarre just how much they reminded me of my dad.  So for me, if there is something that I like or I found missing in my life related to my father, I tended to gravitate to it.  However, as I mature, I am recognizing this and finding more healthier ways to cope since the truth is, I have no desire in the future to date any more men especially with a large age gap--five years tops!  I am married now and I see my dad in some ways.

1.  Skin Tone

It all started with skin tone, I personally like my own father's color, so if a guy was similar to his shade, I would be more open to talk to him then someone with a darker skin tone.

2.  Occupation and Hobbies

If the man had a background that was close to my dad's like a white collar job, military service, and hobbies that reminded me of him, he also got the VIP treatment.  (Mind you, at the time, I didn't knowing that my criteria in meeting someone was based on my dad's lifestyle).

3.  Age

I realized that most men who are older are more settled.  I didn't experience any hurt growing up such as, a father who ran the streets like a young man, partied, concerned about "his boys" or acted wild.  Yet, my experience with younger, unsettled men was just that.  They were often uncaring and wasted money.  My dad and other older men I knew didn't do this, so the age gap was a plus for me.  However, I had a strict upbringing, so I felt comfortable with controlling types which caused me much heartache with one older man.

4.  Travel

What was strange was I really wanted men who got out and explored their local areas and elsewhere, yet I kept giving many dates the pass on this who didn't get out much!  I would eventually get frustrated with these men.  When I reflected back, my dad didn't leave the home to do recreational activities or vacation much either.

5.  Communication

I found that when I talked with my dates, I often over did it and I wondered why.  I felt like sharing so much of myself with these men.  The truth was that at home with my own father, we rarely talked and he spent much time on off days staring at a television screen.  So of course, where did I find I had most of my conversations with these dates?  Seated next to them while they watched TV with no eye contact.  They didn't seem to care too much about what I said, just like my dad.

If you should find that there is much going on with a date that is somehow connected with father blues or daddy issues, know that the young lady really can't help herself.  Her dad dropped the ball.  She still has more maturing to do so that she can find someone who she likes that doesn't consciously or subsconsciously remind her of her dad.  This comes with being exposed to men at work, school, church, and elsewhere.  She doesn't have to date much, but she will need to establish friendships in an effort to learn what she likes or doesn't like in men while breaking the wish for having a relationship with her father.  Sometimes talking with dad about issues helps quell some childhood woes too.  Also, a simple hug can do wonders.  But what I will not advise is taking advantage of the wish for daddy's communication, affection and more, becoming like a dad to her.  That relationship will soon fizzle especially when she begins to bond with her dad. 

As for the young lady, continue to learn more about yourself and your needs and when you recognize you are choosing a mate based on what you did or didn't have with a dad, think deeply and be sure it is a healthy connection.

Nicholl McGuire

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Nothing!  The jokes on you today.  Scroll this blog and be enlightened when it comes to older guys dating younger women and vice versa.  Thank you much to our supporters!

The Wider the Age Gap, The More Things to Consider

Love, friendship, compatible interests, similar goals, money, mental and financial stability, you name it and singles want it all.  Some get lucky and others not so much in meeting a partner.  Age gap dating is really not that different than dating someone your own age or close to it, but there are some differences.

This issue of age not meaning much only applies if the ages between the younger and older aren't extremely wide. But age is significant when a man is old enough to be the young woman's father twice!  These people who love to talk about how age is nothing but a number haven't experienced many relationship differences, but for those who have and see the truth for what it is: He's really too old and she's really too young!  So what makes this so?

1.  Very little in common spiritually, mentally and physically.  Frequent disputes, immaturity and/or substance, emotional or physical abuse.
2.  Too little or too much money and an unwillingness to help with basic needs.
3.  Worries over things like: gold-digging, family woes with the partner, and jealousy.
4.  Employment and education focus -- too many long hours, not enough time spent together.
5.  Health concerns that affect sex.
6.  Unresolved issues with finances, former partner(s), business etc.

Whether you are the lucky older guy or gal who has landed a great companion or the one struggling in a May December relationship, there are some things to think about when dating older.  This blog has many topics that range from age gap dating to dealing with mid-life challenges.

Media reports have shared studies where couples had a hard time staying together when the age gap in a relationship is very wide.  The older guy isn't getting any younger and the young woman will not always stay young.  So as the pair matures, needs change.  What was good five or 10 years ago, isn't anymore.  The internal issues of wanting more out of life rather than settling will be there for the young woman who feels the older gentleman didn't make good on his promises or isn't what she had in mind for a partner.  The mature man will have his issues with mental and physical compatibility now that he is getting older.  These are the facts and as much as some would like to blame everything but age, it is what it is.  

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

No Acting Older Than You Are, Young Women are Watching

Older men, who feel the innate need to feel young again, have this personal issue that a young woman could care less about.  As far as she is concerned she just wants to know that you are mentally, physically and financially stable.  The last thing she wants to hear about is how forgetful you are getting, how you have an ache here or there, how broke you are, what you don't know, and how you can't get there from here.  These are not the kind of things you want to share with a new date!

Older men that often complain about all sorts of things like bills, exes, adult sons and daughters, and long lines at the store are such a bore!  Why bother dating young women?  Some older men should simply stick to their own age group.  These same grumbling men will drop hints about their lack (whether true or not) as well as have other ups and downs that exes already know about and young women will soon discover.  The troubled older man would do better talking to their own age group about personal challenges or better yet, seeing a doctor.

Think about this, would any man want to hear a woman nag, cry or moan often about her woman problems?  So why would an older man assume a young woman would want to hear about his mid-life woes?  Now there are some women who have a heart for male mid-life issues, but others not so much especially those who have been on the fence about dating older men.  You can easily turn young women off if you act older than what you are.

There is a fight to stay young if an older man should want to brave dating women with a significant age gap. A man has to have some degree of youth to keep the young woman liking, loving and respecting him. He doesn't have to act like a 20 plus year old, but he should exude the kind of confidence that says, "I enjoy life, having fun, and appreciate my companion."

Older men, who can't keep young women around, are the type who tend not to be happy with themselves much less anyone else.  These men have no real desire to stay fit, live unsatisfactory lifestyles, and can't see beyond their personal challenges.  It isn't any wonder why some will change partners like they do their undergarments--young women grow weary of grumblers.

It is safe to say that a young woman who sincerely wants a good relationship will stick it out with a man who doesn't make her feel miserable by frequently complaining and acting older than who he is. The last thing a young woman wants is to feel like her youth is quickly passing by because she is with an unhappy older man.

Nicholl McGuire

Popular American Male Celebrities Dating Younger Women in Movies, Reality

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Sometimes it can be hard to say, "Sorry, you are just too young for me..."  send a message to the young woman whose mind is simply too immature for you.

Dating Website Owners, Sellers - Do You Have a Blog?

If you are a small business owner, seller of romantic goods, or have some other business and you have no blog, why not link to us?


This blog has been around for almost ten years sharing entertaining and insightful articles and videos about age gap relationships between men and women.  Readers have enjoyed the bold content and unique perspectives. If you are a business owner who has yet to create a blog, why bother?  Just connect with us.  Weekly we are sharing interesting material with singles, couples, and curious people who enjoy reading about May-December romances highs and lows.


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Nicholl nichollmcguire@yahoo.com
Tips Dating Older...Blogger and Owner

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