When some older men choose to date younger women, they are apprehensive at first. These are the men who haven't dated anyone decades younger, because for years they have been preoccupied with their own age group or older. Their discomfort with dating someone younger is due to many things including not being confident in who they are, nervous about what others might think, fighting feelings of incompatibility or inadequacy, and a host of other emotions.
A young woman might pick up on some signs that an older man may not be sold out on dating her and may call the relationship off before he does. Here are some reasons that would make any woman (young or old) not want to continue dating a man insecure about the age gap.
1. He doesn't mention bringing you around family or friends.
Repeated conversations might have come up about family and friends yet he doesn't take you anywhere around these people. He might make promises to meet them one day, but somehow he finds a way to get out of making arrangements.
2. He avoids planning outings where you are both seen together by those he knows.
He knows how his favorite relatives and friends are going to react so to save himself and you the embarrassment he just doesn't find meeting them important at this time. Some men know they are not yet over exes and may be exposed on their lies, so rather than risk their young dates disconnecting from them, they will keep the keys to the truth hidden in this case people who know them well, family.
3. He prefers taking you to places that appear out of the way, distant.
Does your partner have something to hide? Bring up places you like to go repeatedly. Don't be shut down by his suggestions. If he doesn't make room for your input now, what makes you think he will later? You have a right to a good time with anyone you choose not to a hidden romance with possibly a controlling and manipulative person. So find out what is his reasons for putting off all your suggestions to visit together certain areas.
4. He often talks about how young you are.
Run. His view isn't going to change when you are 30 plus and active and he is 50 plus slowing down and not so active. He knows he shouldn't have opened that door up to a younger woman and most likely people around him are telling him he needs to find women his own age.
5. During disputes he comments, "You are stupid, act like child...why do I bother dating girls?"
Once again, he wanted to date you and now he complains about you. No one has time to diagnose a head case. Of course, you are going to act young, because your are YOUNG. And the opposite of young is old. He ought to act his age and stop with the name-calling. Say bye, Felicia!
6. He appears nervous and uncomfortable when you speak to others in his presence.
Is he worried that you might sound immature to his circle? Is he concerned you might talk too much? Is he ashamed of how much more intelligent you might be compared to him? Now how long is his negative demeanor supposed to last? Don't hold up your life for the man who doesn't feel comfortable in your presence--move on.
7. He acts confused, even rude, when you explain to him what your age group likes.
Of course he can't relate to a person 10 plus years younger if he doesn't bother reading or watching anything you and your group finds interesting. He is clueless! His age really begins to show when he starts talking about things from back in the day that you can't wrap your head around. Unless you and he are willing to find common ground, there will be none in personal interests, business, parenting, etc. Take a moment and research what it was like for him growing up, being a young man, and what he did during the age you are right now, you will learn a lot about why he carries the views he has about women, sex, communication, lifestyle, and more.
8. He often says things like, "You need to grow up! Are you wearing that?" it's as if he is pressuring you to act and dress older.
Once again he is showing just how much he is not on board with the age gap relationship. Rather than accepting it, he turns it into a father daughter connection. Ugh! Can we say, controlling!?
9. He starts to talk negatively about marriage and family and how much of a burden you and other people, places and things in his life are, we have a problem, Houston.
There is a lot said when nothing is said. Maybe he hasn't verbalized anything but his gradual disinterest says it all. Yet, if he has shared some mean-spirited comments about everything from who you are to parenting practices, it is safe to say he wants out. Some men should have never even entertained the thought of marriage and children for themselves--they are ill-equipped emotionally and physically. Not every man or woman is meant to be married and have children especially when they have a history of not wanting to be either/or.
Look back on the months and years being with the older man and you will see just how much he has changed. If he is a better person as a result of the marriage and family planning, bravo! But if he is nit-picking, complaining, and placing blame on you as well as other women including his own mother, time to redirect your attention to greener pasture. Men like this only get older and grumpier about their life choices.
10. He has made it plain that he doesn't like or love you for any number of reasons he has came up with and none has anything to do with the fact that he is older.
Of course, he has to find everything that is wrong with you and not him. He has to run from the fact that he had no business dating/marrying you in the first place. Most likely he was forewarned by loved ones early on that most age gap relationships don't last. They questioned him, "What do you want with that young woman?" And we all know what many older, single men or newly divorced ones want other than friendship, sex and to relive those days when they had a crush--aww, not! You weren't put on this planet to be anyone's temporal fantasy. So you awaken to the truth and most likely you slammed the older man with something like, "There is more to me...You are just using me since you want to say all I want is your money...well that isn't all I want...I want more out of life! And it would have been nice to be with someone who genuinely loved me and treated me with respect. I am not responsible for your insecurities when it comes to dating or being with young women. Get over yourself and be the kind of man you claim to be!"
When he met you young woman, he knew you didn't have as much money as he, may not have owned or drove a fancy car, lived with roommates or alone, had debt possibly up to your eyeballs, yet you looked very attractive--far more better looking than other women he dated and youthful too. So he didn't want to pass up the opportunity when you gave it to him. Now he has second thoughts, third thoughts, and whatever other doubts about being with you. It is what it is, right? Now the ball is in your court, what to do? I think you know the answer to that question.
Here's to a successful future!
Nicholl McGuire
Showing posts sorted by date for query dating men. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query dating men. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Thursday
Tuesday
Active and Inactive Older Men, Younger Women
If you are one who doesn't have much of a lifestyle outside of the workplace, then think twice about involving yourself with an active, fit woman. She will tire you out! You will find yourself wanting her to change her activities to suit you. "When will we get together again? I was just wondering when you will come back so that we can sit on the couch, stuff our faces, and watch movies together?" Would you a mere 20 plus want to keep seeing a guy like that? So what does the active guy got that the inactive guy doesn't? Energy. Simply put he does the kind of activities that keep him mentally and physically fulfilled. When you call this guy he is out in the yard working, on the treadmill, at the mall, helping his parents out, and then he winds down after work. He doesn't relax before the day even gets started! But the inactive guy is often pleasuring himself first before he even thinks about tending to something like washing dishes, performing yard work, or shopping. He puts off much unless he is getting paid for it i.e. he'll show up for work, but then how much work is really doing?
Now if an older man desires to attract and keep a young woman, it would make plenty of sense to do the kind of things that will keep him physically fit. The secret is many fit young women are not too happy with their overweight partners no matter how much money or time you spend with them. I have met these women online and a couple have considered dating men who are younger despite being married to older partners. You see money is great when you have it, but what it can't do is change the mind of someone who is uninterested in dating or remaining in a relationship with someone who has let his or herself go. Whoever said fat, lazy, and inconsiderate is okay needs their head examined, but so many people want others to accept things in their lifestyles that they can manage.
An active guy who cares about himself as well as others is definitely a good catch and if a woman is like him, the pair just might be great together. However, when one is not-so active and the other is, there might be challenges such as:
1. The active partner wants to go places and participate in activities more frequently.
2. The inactive partner enjoys spending most days parked in front of electronic devices.
3. The active partner is sociable and has a life outside of work and a relationship.
4. The inactive partner often complains that he or she isn't getting enough attention.
5. The fit partner enjoys looking good for self and others.
6. The not-so fit partner tends to act jealous and/or controlling. He or she also fear that one's partner will meet someone who is more attractive.
Now some people have their share of personal issues which makes them less active. Consider the aging process and health challenges for starters. If a partner's health problems are a concern, one might consider dating people his or her own age, rather than demand a young or older partner to change his or her lifestyle while mistreating him or her.
Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues available in print and eBook.
Now if an older man desires to attract and keep a young woman, it would make plenty of sense to do the kind of things that will keep him physically fit. The secret is many fit young women are not too happy with their overweight partners no matter how much money or time you spend with them. I have met these women online and a couple have considered dating men who are younger despite being married to older partners. You see money is great when you have it, but what it can't do is change the mind of someone who is uninterested in dating or remaining in a relationship with someone who has let his or herself go. Whoever said fat, lazy, and inconsiderate is okay needs their head examined, but so many people want others to accept things in their lifestyles that they can manage.
An active guy who cares about himself as well as others is definitely a good catch and if a woman is like him, the pair just might be great together. However, when one is not-so active and the other is, there might be challenges such as:
1. The active partner wants to go places and participate in activities more frequently.
2. The inactive partner enjoys spending most days parked in front of electronic devices.
3. The active partner is sociable and has a life outside of work and a relationship.
4. The inactive partner often complains that he or she isn't getting enough attention.
5. The fit partner enjoys looking good for self and others.
6. The not-so fit partner tends to act jealous and/or controlling. He or she also fear that one's partner will meet someone who is more attractive.
Now some people have their share of personal issues which makes them less active. Consider the aging process and health challenges for starters. If a partner's health problems are a concern, one might consider dating people his or her own age, rather than demand a young or older partner to change his or her lifestyle while mistreating him or her.
Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues available in print and eBook.
Wednesday
Observations of the Older Man Dating the Younger Woman
Ever wonder what you, your mate and others really think of the
younger woman with the older man? Putting aside everything you have
been told or what you have seen when it comes to relationships like
this, could you sincerely be honest, fair, and even encouraging when
it comes to dating an older or younger partner or befriending this
type of couple? Depending on your age, how secure you are about
yourself and your own relationship, and dating experiences will
determine how you truly feel about a younger woman dating an older
man.
You may be the younger woman curious about dating an older man or you may be the older man interested in dating a younger woman. Then again, you may not be either but just a concerned relative or friend. Whatever your reason for seeking additional information about younger women and older men, know that you aren’t alone in the way you feel. There are plenty of couples who either privately or publicly struggle with some issues as they come up and the more knowledge you have about the subject, the more comfortable you will feel about talking to an older man and younger woman. In addition, you will feel confident interacting with family members and friends with your older or younger companion by your side and/ or teaching others about your dating experiences. There are many questions and concerns about this subject of dating younger women and older men. For purposes of this article, we will discuss what some older men, younger women, friends, and family may be thinking about their relationship.
Let’s begin with the first. What do young women and older men
really think when dating one another? One thought the couple may
have relates to the newness of the relationship. For some they have
dated an older or younger mate in the past, others have not so it may
be more challenging for them. Couples also think about how unique
they are from other couples in their circle especially if most of
their friends are significantly younger or older. They also find
that because of the age differences there are some very interesting
subject areas that can be discussed from hobbies to employment.
Further, they may talk about challenging topics as they come up such
as: short and long term goals, emotions, responsibilities, religion,
ethics, and accountability. These subjects are no different than any
other couple who may be the same age or closely matched.
A concern that may come up during the dating phase is what does each partner honestly think about the other? For instance, an older man may look at his younger date as being someone very unique from what he is accustomed to dating. He may also notice how energetic, fun or independent she is unlike the women in his own age group. His younger partner may see her older man as intelligent, caring, kind, and mature unlike young men she has dated in the past. Together they may complement one another because they are so different. However, sometimes these differences can get in the way of one another’s future plans which unfortunately can lead to arguments and later separation or breakup. For example, let’s say his young partner is interested in saving money for her college education while her older partner is more concerned about retirement. They may have differences on what each may find a priority. Without open and honest communication often, most couples whether young or old will come to an end.
The popular question of “what will my friends think” may cross the couple’s mind especially with the younger woman. Since friendships are still very important to her, a young woman doesn’t want to feel isolated or ridiculed because she is with an older man, so she may either distance herself from her older partner. Sometimes a new relationship may override old friends and she may grow distant or cut them off altogether particularly if they have been increasingly judgmental. While peer pressure may affect youth, it has no impact on maturity. Her older partner who has already been through that phase in his life may not care what others think. However, there are some older men who do care about his friends’ opinions depending on his public involvement. For instance, an older man may cave into the pressure of his older boss, friends, business associates and others for the sake of his reputation. He doesn’t want the criticism of others affecting things like: his finances, relationship with his older children, or investments because he is with a younger woman. Sometimes older friends may actually like the idea he is with someone younger if it is bringing out the best in him. They may refer to his younger partner as “sexy, fun or good for you!”
A final concern that the couple may have is what their family thinks. Although family may have been very supportive in the past about the couple’s former partners, they may not be so supportive when they see a drastic change in their relative’s taste in a man or woman. They may ask, “Why this man? He is just too old for you! Aren’t you concerned she might be a gold-digger? Don’t you think she is too young?” The family may have forgotten about the times in their past when someone didn’t like their mates because they were “too flashy, conceited, rude, arrogant, angry, or irresponsible.” When the couple finds that they are being inundated with negativity from family, they may decline invites to holiday celebrations, avoid visiting unless absolutely necessary, attend functions separately, and/or limit what information they share about their relationship. These are all precautions they use to protect their feelings about their mate.
The younger woman and older man may have a great, long-lasting future if they can put aside the comments of well-meaning family members and friends. They may want to evaluate each statement made by people in their circle by looking for signs of hidden jealous, criticism or personal bias.
Nicholl McGuire also manages the blog based on the book Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
You may be the younger woman curious about dating an older man or you may be the older man interested in dating a younger woman. Then again, you may not be either but just a concerned relative or friend. Whatever your reason for seeking additional information about younger women and older men, know that you aren’t alone in the way you feel. There are plenty of couples who either privately or publicly struggle with some issues as they come up and the more knowledge you have about the subject, the more comfortable you will feel about talking to an older man and younger woman. In addition, you will feel confident interacting with family members and friends with your older or younger companion by your side and/ or teaching others about your dating experiences. There are many questions and concerns about this subject of dating younger women and older men. For purposes of this article, we will discuss what some older men, younger women, friends, and family may be thinking about their relationship.
Let’s begin with the first. What do young women and older men
really think when dating one another? One thought the couple may
have relates to the newness of the relationship. For some they have
dated an older or younger mate in the past, others have not so it may
be more challenging for them. Couples also think about how unique
they are from other couples in their circle especially if most of
their friends are significantly younger or older. They also find
that because of the age differences there are some very interesting
subject areas that can be discussed from hobbies to employment.
Further, they may talk about challenging topics as they come up such
as: short and long term goals, emotions, responsibilities, religion,
ethics, and accountability. These subjects are no different than any
other couple who may be the same age or closely matched. A concern that may come up during the dating phase is what does each partner honestly think about the other? For instance, an older man may look at his younger date as being someone very unique from what he is accustomed to dating. He may also notice how energetic, fun or independent she is unlike the women in his own age group. His younger partner may see her older man as intelligent, caring, kind, and mature unlike young men she has dated in the past. Together they may complement one another because they are so different. However, sometimes these differences can get in the way of one another’s future plans which unfortunately can lead to arguments and later separation or breakup. For example, let’s say his young partner is interested in saving money for her college education while her older partner is more concerned about retirement. They may have differences on what each may find a priority. Without open and honest communication often, most couples whether young or old will come to an end.
The popular question of “what will my friends think” may cross the couple’s mind especially with the younger woman. Since friendships are still very important to her, a young woman doesn’t want to feel isolated or ridiculed because she is with an older man, so she may either distance herself from her older partner. Sometimes a new relationship may override old friends and she may grow distant or cut them off altogether particularly if they have been increasingly judgmental. While peer pressure may affect youth, it has no impact on maturity. Her older partner who has already been through that phase in his life may not care what others think. However, there are some older men who do care about his friends’ opinions depending on his public involvement. For instance, an older man may cave into the pressure of his older boss, friends, business associates and others for the sake of his reputation. He doesn’t want the criticism of others affecting things like: his finances, relationship with his older children, or investments because he is with a younger woman. Sometimes older friends may actually like the idea he is with someone younger if it is bringing out the best in him. They may refer to his younger partner as “sexy, fun or good for you!”
A final concern that the couple may have is what their family thinks. Although family may have been very supportive in the past about the couple’s former partners, they may not be so supportive when they see a drastic change in their relative’s taste in a man or woman. They may ask, “Why this man? He is just too old for you! Aren’t you concerned she might be a gold-digger? Don’t you think she is too young?” The family may have forgotten about the times in their past when someone didn’t like their mates because they were “too flashy, conceited, rude, arrogant, angry, or irresponsible.” When the couple finds that they are being inundated with negativity from family, they may decline invites to holiday celebrations, avoid visiting unless absolutely necessary, attend functions separately, and/or limit what information they share about their relationship. These are all precautions they use to protect their feelings about their mate.
The younger woman and older man may have a great, long-lasting future if they can put aside the comments of well-meaning family members and friends. They may want to evaluate each statement made by people in their circle by looking for signs of hidden jealous, criticism or personal bias.
Nicholl McGuire also manages the blog based on the book Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Monday
Look Pretty, Be Quiet - Older Man Dating Young Woman
It's been years since I penned a fictional story but for purposes of this blog entry, I will provide the following because I desire to make some of my readers think about their approach when it comes to dating older men and younger women. Please read.
The older man looking to date younger women noticed one from afar, this one was very pretty--long dark hair, ruby red lips, shapely with an eye-catching rear, attractive face with a narrow nose, about 5'6". He guessed she was about a D cup, but wasn't certain because he was fooled before. Oh yes, this was his One--something out of a magazine! Yet, what the older gentleman didn't know was that she was also pretty smart too. She observed him looking at her from the corner of her eye. Sure, he was nice-looking for his age, but from what this college student could tell, this man had his share of baggage. His eyes that went from warm-looking to cold and then back again briefly told his story. His posture didn't look to confident as if he was using a nearby rail to hold himself up.
The lust-filled older man was in search of a young lady who could make him smile and give him a good time in the sack she assumed, but what about her needs, she thought? From the way the man in his fifties walked to the way he talked,she overheard his brief chat in the parking lot. "Older people love to talk about the weather," she had chuckled to herself as she walked quickly.
The car he drove and his inexpensive attire were also telling, no he didn't give off a sugar daddy vibe--that's for sure! No, this man didn't have much to share, she told herself. "Probably lost alot in a divorce or still losing."
The older guy had a small, crinkled McDonald's bag in one hand and a small coffee in the other. Either he didn't eat much, was watching his weight, finances or maybe all three, she pondered and continued to watch. It was obvious that the mature man wasn't young by the way he moved and probably wasn't that good in bed. He also wasn't as detailed as he once was, the young woman had pity on him as her thoughts increased about her admirer. He had missed many gray hairs on his head and face from his quick dye job which was too dark and didn't flatter his aging face. Then that body build wasn't what it used to be if it ever was. Yet, she looked on smiling at him after their eyes made contact wondering if he carried any useful information to stimulate her ears his appearance wasn't dazzling.
The young woman agreed to date the man after repeated sightings here and there. The pair would one day meet and he would spoil her with many goodies.
Now in the above fictional story, I want you to fill in the remaining details as to what happened next that led to the relationship's ending. Did the man lose interest because he realized he wanted more in the relationship? Did he finally discover that she wasn't really attracted to him? Did the young woman feel suffocated or controlled? Do he stop spoiling her? Did she discover that he was married? The truth is that in many age gap relationships there is no future just temporal companionship and financing.
My version to this story will correlate with the title above. In reality, some of these age gap dating relationships consist of rich, older men putting pressure on young women to always be their best selves whenever they are around. For details to the story's ending, I throw this out there:
The man wanted his lady friend to be quiet about "issues" when they would arise and "just have a good time." Sometimes her intellectual side would get the best of her and she would ramble on about a myriad of thoughts concerning the past, present and future. But the mature man, who spent much time on his free days unresponsive had rules she had yet to learn. No talking about any negative personal feelings, asking questions about his past, and no communicating concerns even those that involve the pair.
Remember I told you in the beginning of the fictional story that the young lady was smart. The older man believed himself deserving of her, so he watched her too. His poor act was just that, because he was well aware of gold-diggers. He noticed that the young lady was a hard worker, conscious of her spending, didn't have much, and was proud of her college. She often wore the school's emblem, ate at McDonald's every Tuesday right before her class and rushed off to the college's shuttle bus stop, because she didn't have enough money to buy a car. She would wear impressive clothes every now and again, but no accessories. During those early days of watching his former lover because that's all he ever really wanted but he was open to something serious, he knew the pretty young lady was observant because she often checked her surroundings and saw him and smart too. But the prideful, mature gentleman, believed he was mature, powerful, and deserving of whatever he desired. The man never denied himself any forbidden fruit despite his being married more than a couple times, going through a divorce, and then of course the recent serious relationship that didn't work out either. So unfortunately emotional and physical cheating, pride, power,control, and more also contributed to this age gap relationship ending too.
You see, when dating you have to know what you are getting yourself into before emotions take over and what exactly do you want and don't. What are you willing to give and what are you unwilling to tolerate? You have to look beyond appearance, gifts and sex to truly see the person for who he or she really is. Troubled people are vulnerable, weak, and easily led into many tempting situations. Pretty is fleeting, but wisdom lasts a lifetime. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of people exercising common sense or wisdom in dating app world or in the real world. They prefer to get immediate needs met now and worry about the consequences later. Dismiss what their minds and hearts tell them just to get a thing or two.
"Look pretty..." the older man demanded one day prior to the breakup. "Just look pretty! You don't need to talk, I don't need to talk! But if you should want to talk and you tell me something I don't want to hear or respond to...You will annoy me. You don't like to be irritated and neither do I!"
The things people say when they have money and a host of other choices.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy.
The older man looking to date younger women noticed one from afar, this one was very pretty--long dark hair, ruby red lips, shapely with an eye-catching rear, attractive face with a narrow nose, about 5'6". He guessed she was about a D cup, but wasn't certain because he was fooled before. Oh yes, this was his One--something out of a magazine! Yet, what the older gentleman didn't know was that she was also pretty smart too. She observed him looking at her from the corner of her eye. Sure, he was nice-looking for his age, but from what this college student could tell, this man had his share of baggage. His eyes that went from warm-looking to cold and then back again briefly told his story. His posture didn't look to confident as if he was using a nearby rail to hold himself up.
The lust-filled older man was in search of a young lady who could make him smile and give him a good time in the sack she assumed, but what about her needs, she thought? From the way the man in his fifties walked to the way he talked,she overheard his brief chat in the parking lot. "Older people love to talk about the weather," she had chuckled to herself as she walked quickly.
The car he drove and his inexpensive attire were also telling, no he didn't give off a sugar daddy vibe--that's for sure! No, this man didn't have much to share, she told herself. "Probably lost alot in a divorce or still losing."
The older guy had a small, crinkled McDonald's bag in one hand and a small coffee in the other. Either he didn't eat much, was watching his weight, finances or maybe all three, she pondered and continued to watch. It was obvious that the mature man wasn't young by the way he moved and probably wasn't that good in bed. He also wasn't as detailed as he once was, the young woman had pity on him as her thoughts increased about her admirer. He had missed many gray hairs on his head and face from his quick dye job which was too dark and didn't flatter his aging face. Then that body build wasn't what it used to be if it ever was. Yet, she looked on smiling at him after their eyes made contact wondering if he carried any useful information to stimulate her ears his appearance wasn't dazzling.
The young woman agreed to date the man after repeated sightings here and there. The pair would one day meet and he would spoil her with many goodies.
 |
| tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com |
Then they met again and more items that she needed. he made such an impression on her that she forgot about all that stuff she thought about him early on. As the relationship grew more serious, the man promised her a car, bought a very expensive jewelry set, and planned a trip overseas. It turned out he was exceptionally wealthy. A broke college student really didn't have much to offer so she thought. But the man appreciated her company, affection and her beauty much. However, after much time and money spent, the couple broke up.
Now in the above fictional story, I want you to fill in the remaining details as to what happened next that led to the relationship's ending. Did the man lose interest because he realized he wanted more in the relationship? Did he finally discover that she wasn't really attracted to him? Did the young woman feel suffocated or controlled? Do he stop spoiling her? Did she discover that he was married? The truth is that in many age gap relationships there is no future just temporal companionship and financing.
My version to this story will correlate with the title above. In reality, some of these age gap dating relationships consist of rich, older men putting pressure on young women to always be their best selves whenever they are around. For details to the story's ending, I throw this out there:
The man wanted his lady friend to be quiet about "issues" when they would arise and "just have a good time." Sometimes her intellectual side would get the best of her and she would ramble on about a myriad of thoughts concerning the past, present and future. But the mature man, who spent much time on his free days unresponsive had rules she had yet to learn. No talking about any negative personal feelings, asking questions about his past, and no communicating concerns even those that involve the pair.
Remember I told you in the beginning of the fictional story that the young lady was smart. The older man believed himself deserving of her, so he watched her too. His poor act was just that, because he was well aware of gold-diggers. He noticed that the young lady was a hard worker, conscious of her spending, didn't have much, and was proud of her college. She often wore the school's emblem, ate at McDonald's every Tuesday right before her class and rushed off to the college's shuttle bus stop, because she didn't have enough money to buy a car. She would wear impressive clothes every now and again, but no accessories. During those early days of watching his former lover because that's all he ever really wanted but he was open to something serious, he knew the pretty young lady was observant because she often checked her surroundings and saw him and smart too. But the prideful, mature gentleman, believed he was mature, powerful, and deserving of whatever he desired. The man never denied himself any forbidden fruit despite his being married more than a couple times, going through a divorce, and then of course the recent serious relationship that didn't work out either. So unfortunately emotional and physical cheating, pride, power,control, and more also contributed to this age gap relationship ending too.
You see, when dating you have to know what you are getting yourself into before emotions take over and what exactly do you want and don't. What are you willing to give and what are you unwilling to tolerate? You have to look beyond appearance, gifts and sex to truly see the person for who he or she really is. Troubled people are vulnerable, weak, and easily led into many tempting situations. Pretty is fleeting, but wisdom lasts a lifetime. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of people exercising common sense or wisdom in dating app world or in the real world. They prefer to get immediate needs met now and worry about the consequences later. Dismiss what their minds and hearts tell them just to get a thing or two.
"Look pretty..." the older man demanded one day prior to the breakup. "Just look pretty! You don't need to talk, I don't need to talk! But if you should want to talk and you tell me something I don't want to hear or respond to...You will annoy me. You don't like to be irritated and neither do I!"
The things people say when they have money and a host of other choices.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy.
Sunday
Older Men Looking for Younger Women - Dating for Wants not Needs
A single, older man who seeks selfish gain has an agenda before he even starts dating someone new. The kind of plan with the objective to meet his wants and not always his needs. Most often what or who is most important to him (that person, place or thing) is already managed as far as he is concerned. But those wants of the older guy are very tempting to him, temporarily satisfying, and at times worth the risks that come with them at least so he thinks.
His desire to achieve becomes more significant than quality relationship building. Instead of building people up (family, friends...) as he moves up the ladder of success, he fault-finds, insults, and bad mouths. A Creator is unimportant, spirituality has no impact, and he feels a void despite all of the material wealth and business acquaintances he has gained.
The compatibility they eventually realize simply isn't there as they mature along in years. Unfortunately, many of these disgruntled older men take out their negative emotions on those closest to them. Meanwhile the young ladies come to the realization that the aging process in their older partners is more than they can handle. They either fight back, ignore, or move on to nicer guys whether young or old. As far the older men who see they are no longer charming in the eyes of their companions, they reason, "It's not me, it's them..."out with the old and in with the new. This cycle may repeat with the miserable,stubborn, bitter, and angry older men over and over again until their dying days.
When older men seek younger women, what do you think is going on in some of their minds? Consider things like: companionship, attention, adoration, sex, travel buddy, an assistant or some other want. These are their benefits they often receive depending on their selection of women (most lovers give very little while expecting much in return). These mature men have already had their share of life disappointments and so now they seek after what they feel is essential to their well-being and present lifestyles, yet sometimes their wants outweigh common sense. Ponder on the following.
Unchecked health issues dominate a man's mind; therefore he looks to others to treat his ills by distracting him with entertainment; rather than making a doctor's appointment or sitting down with a psychologist or a person of faith.
Poor choices in past or current mates rob him of inner peace, joy, money, relationship with children, etc. instead of blaming himself, he shifts blame, makes excuses, or hopes his personal issues will just go away or one day get better without doing anything or very little to make personal changes.
His desire to achieve becomes more significant than quality relationship building. Instead of building people up (family, friends...) as he moves up the ladder of success, he fault-finds, insults, and bad mouths. A Creator is unimportant, spirituality has no impact, and he feels a void despite all of the material wealth and business acquaintances he has gained.
These are just a few of the many things that motivate an older man to find a bit of pleasure in a young woman. He runs away from the things that bother him while he expects/demands/controls his fountain of youth. In time, his younger partner doesn't look as appealing to him due to aging, childbirth, stress, etc. So he isn't very kind or caring while his eyes wonder elsewhere.
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| lovedatingadvice.blogspot.com |
Without quality friends around these troubled older men to shake them back into reality and out of their personal fantasies, they will continue to go after gullible young women who ultimately give them nothing more than a headache and empty bank account over time.
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| tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com |
As much as some of us enjoy connecting with older or younger, we all need to understand that there are needs and wants in these matches, engagements and marriages and if one is unwilling to meet a person's desires, besides one's own, on both an emotional and physical level (no matter the age) there will be trouble!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much,Too Soon Internet Dating Blues
Wednesday
The Best Older Men to Date
They are generous, confident, charismatic, and enjoy your company! There are not nearly enough of these older gentlemen around who sincerely love their companions. These men are attentive, supportive and most of all most wanted!
Mature men don't play mind games, they have no need. Their behavior, wealth, and associations speak for themselves. If you are genuinely interested, they will reach out and work with you to meet. But those that have secrets, past baggage, emotional, and physical challenges are the ones you may not get along with.
Some older men have a way of projecting their short-comings on to others. When issues arise that they may have caused by the time the conversations comes to an end, they have turned their mistakes, lies, and more on to their partners. This is one of many reasons why some simply can't keep a quality connection with anyone not exes or current lovers. They don't hold themselves accountability to anyone or anything they don't believe truly matters to them.
As a younger woman (in the past) who dated many older men, I can tell you that the ones I went the distance with until I grew weary of them were the nice, patient type. They weren't filthy rich guys just men who made a steady income and knew how to save money and make small investments. I really didn't care much about their material assets because I knew I would have to do a lot to get a little. Rather, I was captivated by their minds and looks for their age. I was also interested in learning from them and utilizing their knowledge to meet my needs. Hence, this long-running blog for instance.
Life with a quality older man is indeed great. What I mean by quality is the kind who is honest, caring, and considerate. But when many of the positive traits are absent in an older or younger man, you are better off cutting the guy off sooner rather than later. One can typically feel from the start that the relationship is merely temporary.
Older men who make for good friends tend to be: lonely men, generous men, men who have already had families, men who wish they had daughters, and men who have never dated someone very attractive. These men tend to make time for the women they enjoy their companionship and appearance. However, like with all men, they have their share of traits that might be misconstrued for care, but really turn out to be power and control tactics. They might want to see you often, rush to marry you, impregnate you, use money and assets to control, etc. Watch for power and control signs.
So the best older men to date are those who treat you like you want to be treated. Anything else and you are just settling!
Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Mature men don't play mind games, they have no need. Their behavior, wealth, and associations speak for themselves. If you are genuinely interested, they will reach out and work with you to meet. But those that have secrets, past baggage, emotional, and physical challenges are the ones you may not get along with.
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| Tips Dating Older Men, Younger Women tipsdatingoldermen.BlogSpot.com |
Some older men have a way of projecting their short-comings on to others. When issues arise that they may have caused by the time the conversations comes to an end, they have turned their mistakes, lies, and more on to their partners. This is one of many reasons why some simply can't keep a quality connection with anyone not exes or current lovers. They don't hold themselves accountability to anyone or anything they don't believe truly matters to them.
As a younger woman (in the past) who dated many older men, I can tell you that the ones I went the distance with until I grew weary of them were the nice, patient type. They weren't filthy rich guys just men who made a steady income and knew how to save money and make small investments. I really didn't care much about their material assets because I knew I would have to do a lot to get a little. Rather, I was captivated by their minds and looks for their age. I was also interested in learning from them and utilizing their knowledge to meet my needs. Hence, this long-running blog for instance.
Life with a quality older man is indeed great. What I mean by quality is the kind who is honest, caring, and considerate. But when many of the positive traits are absent in an older or younger man, you are better off cutting the guy off sooner rather than later. One can typically feel from the start that the relationship is merely temporary.
Older men who make for good friends tend to be: lonely men, generous men, men who have already had families, men who wish they had daughters, and men who have never dated someone very attractive. These men tend to make time for the women they enjoy their companionship and appearance. However, like with all men, they have their share of traits that might be misconstrued for care, but really turn out to be power and control tactics. They might want to see you often, rush to marry you, impregnate you, use money and assets to control, etc. Watch for power and control signs.
So the best older men to date are those who treat you like you want to be treated. Anything else and you are just settling!
Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
4 Dating Apps for People Seeking an Age Gap Relationship - Older Men Dating Younger Women
For younger women looking to date older men or vice versa but are too shy to connect offline, there are sites that cater to your needs. The following is a list of dating apps for people who want to date older men, younger women. Don't be ashamed or feel odd about meeting people who are not close to your age. Sometimes you can't help who you might have more in common with than others. If you feel like trying a dating app, here are a few that cater to age gap relationships exclusively. For those who have a faith you may want to look at eHarmony, ChristianMingle and other similar dating apps.
1. EstablishedMen.com - you can flirt for free, filter results and searches, block people, and create a favorite list.
2. MillionaireMatch.com - you can send winks, share first date ideas, post lots of photos, have a private album, post questions, you can request verification of photo, and do other interesting stuff.
3. SugarDaddyMeet.com - you can contact members through winks and emails, upload many photos and create a blog homepage.
4. AgeMatch.com - if you believe in May- December relationships, you will enjoy this one. Create a detailed profile, send winks, participate in forum discussions, etc.
Keep in mind in order to get full use of the dating sites, there are fees so do visit the site to the latest prices. Also, check to see if the site has auto renewal membership fees and view terms to see what the process is to cancel service if you find it is no longer useful.
1. EstablishedMen.com - you can flirt for free, filter results and searches, block people, and create a favorite list.
2. MillionaireMatch.com - you can send winks, share first date ideas, post lots of photos, have a private album, post questions, you can request verification of photo, and do other interesting stuff.
3. SugarDaddyMeet.com - you can contact members through winks and emails, upload many photos and create a blog homepage.
4. AgeMatch.com - if you believe in May- December relationships, you will enjoy this one. Create a detailed profile, send winks, participate in forum discussions, etc.
Keep in mind in order to get full use of the dating sites, there are fees so do visit the site to the latest prices. Also, check to see if the site has auto renewal membership fees and view terms to see what the process is to cancel service if you find it is no longer useful.
Monday
Dating Rich Older Men - What Younger, Needy Women Don't Think About
When a young lady seeks to date a man who makes much money, what she doesn't realize is that he isn't going to be as available to her emotionally and possibly physically as she might imagine. The young woman is in for a rude awakening if she thinks that dating or marrying an older man will always consist of exotic travel and jaw-dropping shopping sprees.
I got the opportunity to speak to women who date older men and they were at times naïve when it came to talking about them. They were like giddy school girls who just saw a handsome boy walk by them. The eyes brightened, the speech sped up, and their bodies moved around a bit as if excited to talk about the subject. These women didn't think too much about the possibility of future disappointments like their allowances or gifts being cut off one day by their rich dates. They were too busy thinking about those promises their guys made such as plans to attend special events, give them gifts and eat at five star restaurants.
Most rich, older men don't abandon jobs, forget about children (and sometimes exes), and they aren't thinking too much about keeping a sexual partner around for too long. Instead they enjoy the "in the meantime" experience with an attractive, young lady and then on to the next best thing. Workaholic older men are too busy thinking about jobs and money to care much about a lover's feeling, accomplishments, and other things that matter. The selfish simply want their periodic sexual desires met with no strings attached. It isn't any wonder why many are divorced--the "it's all about me" philosophy doesn't go well with marriage, children, and household responsibilities.
The wealthy but cheap older men spend a great deal of time in doors on off days. They don't like going out much because all that means is more money spent that they prefer to save. Some young women are blind-sided by this type because they start off treating them so well, but in time the newness wears off and the older men's true selves begin to show especially after they have received what they wanted, sex with a beautiful woman and companionship. When things become dull, they grow weary of dating and relationships. So they give their all back to jobs or businesses while the gullible women check their phones hoping to hearing from them. "Could he be back with his wife? What am I going to do, he doesn't send any money anymore? I was starting to fall for that guy..."
What many gullible women overlook, at least initially during the early dating stages, are the self-absorbed attributes in successful men. They are consumed with getting their needs met from the start. The signs aren't easily recognized because these men tend to attract women like themselves. Selfish women are too busy focused on themselves to pay any attention to warning signs that a date might be trouble. When a woman is immature and desperate for things like: attention, money and sex, she won't think too much about how she is treated until her needs are no longer being met. "What's up with him? He use to be so nice. He gave me whatever I wanted! Now he is so mean!"
Dating rich older men is a bit different than dating broke, younger men. The men who know they can buy just about anyone or anything, expect to be pleased. So they want more for their time and money than a broken man who is just happy being with a head-turner 10.
Young women who date rich put up with things that other women wouldn't even consider. This is because most women are looking for more in a relationship besides money and gifts, but not the 10 looking for a 10. She wants cash, business, opportunities, and whatever else that rich man can afford to give her!
Since many successful men know that most people are after their cash, property, etc. they are going to be guarded and will not always come off as nice and accommodating especially when they are aware of a young woman's motives
. Whether you are rich and older or young and broke, know that whatever your intention if it isn't good, expect to be taken advantage of sooner or later.
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and is the author of She's Crazy (a book for battered men).
I got the opportunity to speak to women who date older men and they were at times naïve when it came to talking about them. They were like giddy school girls who just saw a handsome boy walk by them. The eyes brightened, the speech sped up, and their bodies moved around a bit as if excited to talk about the subject. These women didn't think too much about the possibility of future disappointments like their allowances or gifts being cut off one day by their rich dates. They were too busy thinking about those promises their guys made such as plans to attend special events, give them gifts and eat at five star restaurants.
 |
| tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com |
Most rich, older men don't abandon jobs, forget about children (and sometimes exes), and they aren't thinking too much about keeping a sexual partner around for too long. Instead they enjoy the "in the meantime" experience with an attractive, young lady and then on to the next best thing. Workaholic older men are too busy thinking about jobs and money to care much about a lover's feeling, accomplishments, and other things that matter. The selfish simply want their periodic sexual desires met with no strings attached. It isn't any wonder why many are divorced--the "it's all about me" philosophy doesn't go well with marriage, children, and household responsibilities.
The wealthy but cheap older men spend a great deal of time in doors on off days. They don't like going out much because all that means is more money spent that they prefer to save. Some young women are blind-sided by this type because they start off treating them so well, but in time the newness wears off and the older men's true selves begin to show especially after they have received what they wanted, sex with a beautiful woman and companionship. When things become dull, they grow weary of dating and relationships. So they give their all back to jobs or businesses while the gullible women check their phones hoping to hearing from them. "Could he be back with his wife? What am I going to do, he doesn't send any money anymore? I was starting to fall for that guy..."
What many gullible women overlook, at least initially during the early dating stages, are the self-absorbed attributes in successful men. They are consumed with getting their needs met from the start. The signs aren't easily recognized because these men tend to attract women like themselves. Selfish women are too busy focused on themselves to pay any attention to warning signs that a date might be trouble. When a woman is immature and desperate for things like: attention, money and sex, she won't think too much about how she is treated until her needs are no longer being met. "What's up with him? He use to be so nice. He gave me whatever I wanted! Now he is so mean!"
Dating rich older men is a bit different than dating broke, younger men. The men who know they can buy just about anyone or anything, expect to be pleased. So they want more for their time and money than a broken man who is just happy being with a head-turner 10.
Young women who date rich put up with things that other women wouldn't even consider. This is because most women are looking for more in a relationship besides money and gifts, but not the 10 looking for a 10. She wants cash, business, opportunities, and whatever else that rich man can afford to give her!
Since many successful men know that most people are after their cash, property, etc. they are going to be guarded and will not always come off as nice and accommodating especially when they are aware of a young woman's motives
. Whether you are rich and older or young and broke, know that whatever your intention if it isn't good, expect to be taken advantage of sooner or later.
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and is the author of She's Crazy (a book for battered men).
Friday
Dating Younger Women (Blog) - Does Age Really Matter?
It all depends on who you ask, "Does age really matter?" For years this blog has shared personal as well as expert opinion about dating older men and younger women. Well I can certainly tell you that those who scream the loudest that age doesn't matter, at least initially, get a rude awakening as the relationship grows older. The wider the age gap, the more differences and the more bad news you eventually find out about your older or younger partner.
There simply are things that young women just don't understand or have the mindset to deal with concerning older men. Take for instance, life experiences and personal health woes, some younger women (not all of course) can't relate to men who are having a mid-life crisis no more than mature women. Older men have their share of the blues and the only thing that some young women can think of are their own selfish needs being met.
Now what about the older men who are a bit outdated and unwise? They gravitate to young women in the hopes that they will get sex and a companion. However, it doesn't work that way in time especially if there is no sincere connection with the young lady. A number of young women feel doubtful about the May-December relationship and question what really is the older guy's motives for even considering them. "I'm broke, still learning things about life...why is he really bothering with me when he could be with someone his own age?" Whatever the reason an older male comes up with to make the inquisitive,young woman feel secure, it isn't good enough. She most likely will move on sooner or later.
The takeaway is age matters when you give the relationship some time. You will see and feel the difference.
Nicholl
There simply are things that young women just don't understand or have the mindset to deal with concerning older men. Take for instance, life experiences and personal health woes, some younger women (not all of course) can't relate to men who are having a mid-life crisis no more than mature women. Older men have their share of the blues and the only thing that some young women can think of are their own selfish needs being met.
Now what about the older men who are a bit outdated and unwise? They gravitate to young women in the hopes that they will get sex and a companion. However, it doesn't work that way in time especially if there is no sincere connection with the young lady. A number of young women feel doubtful about the May-December relationship and question what really is the older guy's motives for even considering them. "I'm broke, still learning things about life...why is he really bothering with me when he could be with someone his own age?" Whatever the reason an older male comes up with to make the inquisitive,young woman feel secure, it isn't good enough. She most likely will move on sooner or later.
The takeaway is age matters when you give the relationship some time. You will see and feel the difference.
Nicholl
Monday
Improve You and Dating Experiences in the New Year
For some singles they are turning over a new leaf in the New Year. They are looking forward to dating a bit differently like changing dating preferences and upgrading personal images for starters. Courageous men and women who have never dated younger or older, a different ethnicity or even out of their hometowns are ready for new dating experiences this upcoming year, according to some online dating forums.
You might be one looking to make a difference in your life, if so, bravo to you! Why not think outside the box? Many of us who have dated a variety of people in our lifetime did so, because we simply got tired of doing things based on past dating experiences or teachings passed down from family. You never know who you might cross paths with and that person just may be the one!
Now some couples are simply fed up with one another for any number of reasons including age related issues and if this is you, well you don't have to stick it out in a miserable relationship. Fall back from the dating scene a bit, recover and then come back for some more good times when you are ready. If you have a faith, use it--someone is out there for you! Here are some tips on improving your future dating experiences:
1. Work on your health. Watch your weight. Exercise and check in with your doctor and dentist.
2. Don't keep ex-lovers, wives, husbands, etc. on speed dial. Move on!
3. Vow that you will never permit yourself to be broken spiritually, mentally or physically by a future or current partner.
4. Keep your relatives out of your personal life. This means no updating them on dates you are not serious about.
5. Find the time for you! The world doesn't revolve around that new someone you meet--no matter how friendly, wealthy, attractive,etc.
6. Do your part to make some great memories when dating someone. Don't rely on others to make you happy.
7. If you believe in a Creator, why not practice your faith and attract someone who is spiritual like you?
With so much happening online in dating world you can never be too safe. Take precautions when meeting someone online and never rush into doing anything with someone you barely even know! There are countless stories of victims who just didn't bother researching before sleeping with dates and now they are either connected with the wrong partners, in jail, deceased or have their share of unwanted children or STDS (sigh).
Have a great New Year connecting with someone who is right for you!
By the way, check out our partners on this site who work hard to bring you some great services around the web!
Nicholl
You might be one looking to make a difference in your life, if so, bravo to you! Why not think outside the box? Many of us who have dated a variety of people in our lifetime did so, because we simply got tired of doing things based on past dating experiences or teachings passed down from family. You never know who you might cross paths with and that person just may be the one!
Now some couples are simply fed up with one another for any number of reasons including age related issues and if this is you, well you don't have to stick it out in a miserable relationship. Fall back from the dating scene a bit, recover and then come back for some more good times when you are ready. If you have a faith, use it--someone is out there for you! Here are some tips on improving your future dating experiences:
1. Work on your health. Watch your weight. Exercise and check in with your doctor and dentist.
2. Don't keep ex-lovers, wives, husbands, etc. on speed dial. Move on!3. Vow that you will never permit yourself to be broken spiritually, mentally or physically by a future or current partner.
4. Keep your relatives out of your personal life. This means no updating them on dates you are not serious about.
5. Find the time for you! The world doesn't revolve around that new someone you meet--no matter how friendly, wealthy, attractive,etc.
6. Do your part to make some great memories when dating someone. Don't rely on others to make you happy.
7. If you believe in a Creator, why not practice your faith and attract someone who is spiritual like you?
With so much happening online in dating world you can never be too safe. Take precautions when meeting someone online and never rush into doing anything with someone you barely even know! There are countless stories of victims who just didn't bother researching before sleeping with dates and now they are either connected with the wrong partners, in jail, deceased or have their share of unwanted children or STDS (sigh).
Have a great New Year connecting with someone who is right for you!
By the way, check out our partners on this site who work hard to bring you some great services around the web!
Nicholl
Saturday
Why Did I Start a Blog about Young Women and Older Men...
Sometimes I have to go back to why I even bothered to put this blog together. I mean I didn't have to broadcast anything about subject matter like this, because well you readers know everything, right? Actually you don't and neither do I and so the need for this blog over the years has been necessary.
We think when we meet people that we know so much. We read articles, watch TV, hear
stories, had dating experiences...so we think we can handle almost anything that comes our way when it comes to dating. But can you really when things aren't going so well in your life? Nope. You are left wide open, weak for a thrill. You want a change in routine, something new, fresh, different...I get it. But I don't support it when you already have someone at home that loves/likes you. I'm not encouraging a person of faith to compromise their belief for anyone. It isn't worth losing your anointing. I am definitely not the one who will cheer you on when you are a victim either of a turbulent relationship.
I will say that I absolutely love sharing advice and listening to stories that relate to the content on this blog. You can always learn something new if you are open to receiving. Don't let negative past experiences keep you from growing and loving! I for one am quite content in my lifestyle choice (married older) and look forward to the future. Who knows, maybe I might be a cougar one day--just kidding, but then maybe not, hmmm.
Thanks for reading, keep scrolling and click those ads too--appreciate the support!
Nicholl
We think when we meet people that we know so much. We read articles, watch TV, hear
stories, had dating experiences...so we think we can handle almost anything that comes our way when it comes to dating. But can you really when things aren't going so well in your life? Nope. You are left wide open, weak for a thrill. You want a change in routine, something new, fresh, different...I get it. But I don't support it when you already have someone at home that loves/likes you. I'm not encouraging a person of faith to compromise their belief for anyone. It isn't worth losing your anointing. I am definitely not the one who will cheer you on when you are a victim either of a turbulent relationship.
I will say that I absolutely love sharing advice and listening to stories that relate to the content on this blog. You can always learn something new if you are open to receiving. Don't let negative past experiences keep you from growing and loving! I for one am quite content in my lifestyle choice (married older) and look forward to the future. Who knows, maybe I might be a cougar one day--just kidding, but then maybe not, hmmm.
Thanks for reading, keep scrolling and click those ads too--appreciate the support!
Nicholl
Sunday
Older Men, Relationships, and Not Settling
If there is anything that I have learned from dating older men over the years, especially during my twenties, is that most of the time the connections are temporal. They aren't forever and always love affairs.
The men I met had issues. There was the wife, the children, ex-girlfriends, friends with benefits, a criminal past, and more. Several were controlling types and others were cool, too cool and really didn't care too much about anyone or anything. I must admit those that I did end up settling with all had the following common traits: straightforward (didn't beat around the bush about what they wanted), had jobs, dressed well, and enjoyed being entertained by me. Look I wasn't looking for much and that's what they appreciated about me. They didn't have to buy me either--a couple really couldn't afford to spend much, so I didn't expect much.
When the blogs were invented, they were god-sent, because all the information I kept secret, hurt about, wish I could have, should have, I could air out my grievances, the ups, downs, and advice I wished I had at the time when I was dating much.
Older men can make good friends, but what they can't do is be fathers to young women. I must admit that there was something within that I deeply desired from my own dad and sometimes the attention, affection, and spoiling they provided made me feel special. Every little girl has a time in her life that she wants her daddy to just love her for her! Daddies who don't do their part, unfortunately leave little girls out there--ripe for the picking. Some guy, whether older or younger, is going to pick from the tree. He might find a rotten piece of fruit on it too!
A while back, I wrote a non-fiction guide entitled, She's Crazy. It is a book that provides much information about letting go of crazy women. I really hope you take a moment to read and purchase this work. Feel free to share it with a buddy who is going through much.
Dating older guys is not as popular as it seems, there are many young women that avoid mature men. There are pros and cons to dating any man (irregardless of age), and some people have little tolerance for anyone who behaves in ways that go against their personal boundaries too.
Don't give up your moral compass for anyone or anything, stand your ground whenever you can and be certain that whatever they suggest you really want to do it. You can save a lot of time, energy, and preserve your youth if you don't settle for the guy or girl who is only 50% your type.
Shoot for that quality connection, they are out there!
Nicholl McGuire author of She's Crazy and other books.
The men I met had issues. There was the wife, the children, ex-girlfriends, friends with benefits, a criminal past, and more. Several were controlling types and others were cool, too cool and really didn't care too much about anyone or anything. I must admit those that I did end up settling with all had the following common traits: straightforward (didn't beat around the bush about what they wanted), had jobs, dressed well, and enjoyed being entertained by me. Look I wasn't looking for much and that's what they appreciated about me. They didn't have to buy me either--a couple really couldn't afford to spend much, so I didn't expect much.
When the blogs were invented, they were god-sent, because all the information I kept secret, hurt about, wish I could have, should have, I could air out my grievances, the ups, downs, and advice I wished I had at the time when I was dating much.
Older men can make good friends, but what they can't do is be fathers to young women. I must admit that there was something within that I deeply desired from my own dad and sometimes the attention, affection, and spoiling they provided made me feel special. Every little girl has a time in her life that she wants her daddy to just love her for her! Daddies who don't do their part, unfortunately leave little girls out there--ripe for the picking. Some guy, whether older or younger, is going to pick from the tree. He might find a rotten piece of fruit on it too!
A while back, I wrote a non-fiction guide entitled, She's Crazy. It is a book that provides much information about letting go of crazy women. I really hope you take a moment to read and purchase this work. Feel free to share it with a buddy who is going through much.
Dating older guys is not as popular as it seems, there are many young women that avoid mature men. There are pros and cons to dating any man (irregardless of age), and some people have little tolerance for anyone who behaves in ways that go against their personal boundaries too.
Don't give up your moral compass for anyone or anything, stand your ground whenever you can and be certain that whatever they suggest you really want to do it. You can save a lot of time, energy, and preserve your youth if you don't settle for the guy or girl who is only 50% your type.
Shoot for that quality connection, they are out there!
Nicholl McGuire author of She's Crazy and other books.
Dating Older African American Men
My dating older African American men experiences started when I was 19 years old and stopped soon after I got married the first time, broke up started back up, and then ended after meeting my online date and marrying him (all at least eight plus years older--the oldest being almost 20 year age difference).
The first mature man that took interest in dating me was a 41 year old who was hiding his thinning hair as best he could. I accidentally brushed up against it once and he straightened it out as fast he could while looking downcast. I apologized and felt bad for him. Anyway, I was happy to go out with the nice guy still in college like me at the time. I was especially proud to be seen with him after seeing the black Stingray I would be riding in on our first date! Not a rental--he owned it because he was one of the few guys I met who did some wise things with his money during his youth.
My parents jaws dropped when they heard the sports car arrive in the front of their home. They forgot all about how old he was and he didn't look his age which was alright with them--I guess. I didn't bother to get their opinion, I was too busy thinking about all the fun I was going to have with this one.
The tall African American gentleman slowly got out the shiny car that looked like it just came off the showroom floor. Once he saw me coming down the stairs outside my parents home, he headed over to the passenger side to open the door, he smiled warmly after looking me over. I was dressed to kill and just as sharp as the automobile!
He wasn't the first man that would take me to quality restaurants, make promises of traveling around the country and elsewhere, and talk of making me a wife and mother one day. The same year more older men, more promises, gifts, and dates. Later came promise and engagement rings from the divorced, the married getting a divorce, the friends with benefits, the abusive man, and the momma's boy. The following year and more years to come more of the same.
I noticed a pattern while dating older, black men I dated born around the 1960s (Civil Rights Movement)--they were chauvinistic and a few angry. Yep, I said it. These men enjoyed the company of beautiful women, complimented them much, and even bought them some things, but wasn't much interest in personal opinion, counsel, or requests unless they benefited in some way. On top of the loveless connections (at least on my end) I wasn't the only woman with several, I was one of a group--the fresh meat, the rebound chic, the smart one, or PYT (pretty young thang) that was also being persuaded to wait for whatever--a relationship, money, car, home--whatever! But of course the sweet lines of, "I will drop everyone for you...You are so gorgeous, sexy...I love you. I will leave my wife..." Huh, what wife?
Anyone who has dated a black man knows how charming they can be with their smooth words. They can melt the underwear off of you--I kid you not! While giving you small tokens, some are expecting you to pay for major purchases or invest in their dreams. I noticed when tactics didn't work with me and other black women, some of these same men went off to be with white women--didn't bother me, enjoy.
I did not like the subtle as well as blatant control tactics many of these men used to feed their egos. I could see that there was also some commitment issues with many of them that's why I didn't continue to date them. Given that there is less than 15% of African Americans in the United States (last I checked the population stats) that means there isn't a whole lot of available men. You have many incarcerated, gay, bi-sexual, ill, and too young to date of that percentage. Those suitable for dating are great catches but have their share of issues including: unemployed, addictions, mental disorders, exes, children from previous relationships (and mothers who don't necessarily want to let them go), dating inter-racially (not black women) and have mistresses or girlfriends. A smaller percentage are faithful and mainly at home when not working but also have their woes. The dating scene is indeed tough when it comes to connecting with quality older black men and even more challenging when trying to marry.
Things are even more difficult when there are those African American men, who are single and childless, but don't take care of themselves. They seek younger women, but they don't get very far because some just aren't attractive. However, with a fat wallet, suddenly they are "fine" and "sexy" according to some single, gold-digging women of all races.
Nicholl McGuire
The first mature man that took interest in dating me was a 41 year old who was hiding his thinning hair as best he could. I accidentally brushed up against it once and he straightened it out as fast he could while looking downcast. I apologized and felt bad for him. Anyway, I was happy to go out with the nice guy still in college like me at the time. I was especially proud to be seen with him after seeing the black Stingray I would be riding in on our first date! Not a rental--he owned it because he was one of the few guys I met who did some wise things with his money during his youth.
My parents jaws dropped when they heard the sports car arrive in the front of their home. They forgot all about how old he was and he didn't look his age which was alright with them--I guess. I didn't bother to get their opinion, I was too busy thinking about all the fun I was going to have with this one.
The tall African American gentleman slowly got out the shiny car that looked like it just came off the showroom floor. Once he saw me coming down the stairs outside my parents home, he headed over to the passenger side to open the door, he smiled warmly after looking me over. I was dressed to kill and just as sharp as the automobile!
He wasn't the first man that would take me to quality restaurants, make promises of traveling around the country and elsewhere, and talk of making me a wife and mother one day. The same year more older men, more promises, gifts, and dates. Later came promise and engagement rings from the divorced, the married getting a divorce, the friends with benefits, the abusive man, and the momma's boy. The following year and more years to come more of the same.
I noticed a pattern while dating older, black men I dated born around the 1960s (Civil Rights Movement)--they were chauvinistic and a few angry. Yep, I said it. These men enjoyed the company of beautiful women, complimented them much, and even bought them some things, but wasn't much interest in personal opinion, counsel, or requests unless they benefited in some way. On top of the loveless connections (at least on my end) I wasn't the only woman with several, I was one of a group--the fresh meat, the rebound chic, the smart one, or PYT (pretty young thang) that was also being persuaded to wait for whatever--a relationship, money, car, home--whatever! But of course the sweet lines of, "I will drop everyone for you...You are so gorgeous, sexy...I love you. I will leave my wife..." Huh, what wife?
Anyone who has dated a black man knows how charming they can be with their smooth words. They can melt the underwear off of you--I kid you not! While giving you small tokens, some are expecting you to pay for major purchases or invest in their dreams. I noticed when tactics didn't work with me and other black women, some of these same men went off to be with white women--didn't bother me, enjoy.
I did not like the subtle as well as blatant control tactics many of these men used to feed their egos. I could see that there was also some commitment issues with many of them that's why I didn't continue to date them. Given that there is less than 15% of African Americans in the United States (last I checked the population stats) that means there isn't a whole lot of available men. You have many incarcerated, gay, bi-sexual, ill, and too young to date of that percentage. Those suitable for dating are great catches but have their share of issues including: unemployed, addictions, mental disorders, exes, children from previous relationships (and mothers who don't necessarily want to let them go), dating inter-racially (not black women) and have mistresses or girlfriends. A smaller percentage are faithful and mainly at home when not working but also have their woes. The dating scene is indeed tough when it comes to connecting with quality older black men and even more challenging when trying to marry.
Things are even more difficult when there are those African American men, who are single and childless, but don't take care of themselves. They seek younger women, but they don't get very far because some just aren't attractive. However, with a fat wallet, suddenly they are "fine" and "sexy" according to some single, gold-digging women of all races.
Nicholl McGuire
Friday
Writers, Bloggers, Video Creators...Dating Older Men, Younger Women?
He is sexy, sweet and smart. She is unique, fun, and beautiful!
The May-December romance is in full bloom. But as we all know sometimes
what goes up, goes down. Do you have something to share about dating older men
or younger women? Then let us feature you on this site!
We welcome all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, etc. Tell our audience about your challenges and share solutions. Send correspondence to nichollmcguire@gmail.com today.
Our audience enjoys reading content that can help them with their relationships and dating blues.
Thursday
Welcome to this Age Gap Dating Site Between Mature Men and Young Women
For those who are in love with an older man or curious as well as others who enjoy dating or married to young women, you will enjoy the content on this blog. Much is thought-provoking, fun, serious, and also liberating. So take a moment to check out whatever might be on interest. This information is timeless and very useful especially if you are new to May-December romance. Enjoy!
Nicholl McGuire
Nicholl McGuire
Tuesday
Dating Advice: Should You Pursue The Guy
Check out a book about abusive men by author Nicholl McGuire. Know the signs before pursuing any man!
Sunday
Wednesday
Dating Tips - New Romance, Trouble Brewing - Don't Dismiss the Signs
A mature man will never let on that he is crazy, nope, no way, no how! He wants you to see him as that guy who is going to sweep you off your feet and meet your needs. The same is true for the young woman. You don't expect her to be a bit out of her mind either. When I recorded Whirlwind Romance, I thought of the thousands of men and women that start off dating never bothering to ask the uncomfortable questions and often dismissing what is obvious, "Something just ain't right."
Listen up on Your Listen. Also, do check out my books: She's Crazy for men who find themselves in abusive relationships with women and Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men for women who are often getting mixed up with mean-spirited men who of course never start off that way. You are showing your support for this blog and others with every purchase--much appreciate!
Nicholl McGuire, Blog Owner
Thursday
He's Old, Your Young and Everyone Wants to Know Why?
The topic of why young women date older men has been well-covered online. The reasons why a young lady, like yourself, dates older men according to many researchers, writers, and singles range from his maturity to security, but why do you want that One? Why do you bother to share conversation with him, open your heart and other things to him. What is it about the older man that makes you want to commit to the gentleman and only him when there are so many other men you could date?
When you take a moment to truly reflect on why you do the things you do, you might be surprised. Sometimes breaking down our thought processes will show us things about ourselves we never realized. Maybe there are desires you have that you hope your mature significant might help you achieve. Could he represent someone or something you have been missing?
Mature men have their reasons too as to why they seek after younger women. If they too sit back and think as to why they do what they do, what might they learn about themselves? A young woman is definitely not going to soothe those deep emotions within where worries, fears, and pain reside. She is like a Band-Aid. The real healing for the soul comes from a relationship with one's Maker who is responsible for mind, body and spirit.
One day both young and old will die and what will those they leave behind say about them, their relationships, children, and more? Was it a genuine connection? Did they really want to be together for love?
Make the most of your life, choose wisely and seek happiness within. A partner should simply be icing on the cake for you when everything else in your life is all peaches in cream! (Excuse the food references, can't you tell I haven't had lunch--lol.)
The public questions these men dating younger women relationships and others because many are usually built on selfish interests and not long-lasting love. Don't hate on your critics just be honest with yourself and that man or woman you are with, "Why do you want me, really?" Think about it.
Nicholl McGuire has experienced dating mature men. She authored many nonfiction books about relationships and provides website content on many sites. Learn more about her and subscribe to Nicholl's blog.
When you take a moment to truly reflect on why you do the things you do, you might be surprised. Sometimes breaking down our thought processes will show us things about ourselves we never realized. Maybe there are desires you have that you hope your mature significant might help you achieve. Could he represent someone or something you have been missing?
Mature men have their reasons too as to why they seek after younger women. If they too sit back and think as to why they do what they do, what might they learn about themselves? A young woman is definitely not going to soothe those deep emotions within where worries, fears, and pain reside. She is like a Band-Aid. The real healing for the soul comes from a relationship with one's Maker who is responsible for mind, body and spirit.
One day both young and old will die and what will those they leave behind say about them, their relationships, children, and more? Was it a genuine connection? Did they really want to be together for love?
Make the most of your life, choose wisely and seek happiness within. A partner should simply be icing on the cake for you when everything else in your life is all peaches in cream! (Excuse the food references, can't you tell I haven't had lunch--lol.)
The public questions these men dating younger women relationships and others because many are usually built on selfish interests and not long-lasting love. Don't hate on your critics just be honest with yourself and that man or woman you are with, "Why do you want me, really?" Think about it.
Nicholl McGuire has experienced dating mature men. She authored many nonfiction books about relationships and provides website content on many sites. Learn more about her and subscribe to Nicholl's blog.
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