So you thought you could be everything to him or her. You bought this person nice things. You made time to go with him or her here and there. You really thought you met your match, that is until you started looking more closely at this person you slept with the other night. "She is a bit off," you think. "He seems to be a bit slow," she thinks. Whatever you noticed about this person, it has put a damper on your relationship. Now you hope that this person will do something that will make you fall back in lust (or love) with him or her-- good luck.
Once truth reveals itself in people, it becomes hard to get the fantasy back. You want that person to be that special someone you met over and over again. Immature people think in this way. People desperate for someone to come rescue them from their past also think like this. Before you know it, you got someone yelling, "Why can't I find the right someone!" Could it be, that you want your dates to fulfill a dream rather than a reality?
You have your issues when you came into the relationship that most likely you wanted your date to overlook. Then there was the issues. Your date had some and you had your share. Then there were those issues you had together. With all of these "issues" also known as relationship challenges, it isn't any wonder that this romance started quickly and then ended just as quickly.
If there is no room in the relationship to just grow freely of the complications of an ex, the baby, the money, the relatives, the friends, an abusive childhood, etc. then yes a beautiful fantasy dies and it may never come back. You should never think a person is going to be your cure all!
For many people, they know, starting this year, it is time to bury the fantasy and welcome reality. They must want to do the things that are right for self and the relationship. But where to start? A change of mindset, a reality check! Look at the things in the relationship that is causing it to become unbalanced, miserable, and something you no longer want. If you allow a relationship to grow in a setting free of outside influence, criticism and unresolved issues of the past, how beautiful it can be! Keep in mind, it takes work, lots of it. But if you are in love, and not in lust, it will go the distance.
Nicholl McGuire
Sunday
A Blog for Men Seeking a Nice Woman to Date - WhereToFindGirl.com
I don't often speak of other websites to visit for dating advice, but this one is a nice blog for men who are having trouble looking for that nice gal. Written from a male perspective, the site is like this one, filled with useful advice. Read here.
Friday
Advice for Young Mothers Interested in Dating Older Men
Some daters believe that because they are easygoing about most things, they are compatible with many different types of people no matter the age or background. They falsely assume that because they maybe in a similar situation as their date, such as: being a parent, divorced, or have other responsibilities, that those they connect with can relate and most likely will handle their circumstances in the same way that they do. However, despite all the similar interests and life comparisons, people are people and they will do things that will leave others scratching their heads, such is the case when a single older man chooses to date someone half his age or younger who is a parent of small children. Maybe he dates her because he was in a similar situation 20 years ago or he remembers the pain of a breakup and how it impacted his family, so now he wants to be helpful. Whatever the reason that draws him to the young mother, he may be very interested in having a relationship with her.
You have to wonder though, why someone would bother taking on some, if not all, of someone else's burden despite his or her age. Of course, there is such a thing as love, but there is also such a thing as desperation. Some people can't stand to be lonely! They will sacrifice their carefree lifestyle and peace just to be close to someone. But their are others who have a more hidden reason for dating someone that may seem trivial to many. There may be a certain interest or look they desire so much in someone else that they will tolerate just about anything to be with him or her. This strong desire is also known as obsession.
Maybe the younger woman has gorgeous long, blond hair that this older man absolutely loves or beautiful hazelnut eyes that seem to draw him in everytime he looks at her. Whatever that "thing" is that she possesses, the older man doesn't mind putting up with all the baggage that comes with her just so that he can enjoy the benefit of being with his ideal mate. Two small children, an ex, an overbearing mother, money issues, and a home filled with past memories may be a part of this young woman's world, but the desperate older man doesn't seem to care just so long as she is fulfilling some aspect of his fantasy. "I don't care about all that other stuff! I love her! She has beautiful eyes, nice long hair, and coca skin! I always wanted to be with her type!"
Some of us have gone to great lengths over the years to date our ideal look. We have given those exs a pass on just about anything that they did just so that we can satisfy lustful desires. We envisioned our soul mate to look and act a certain way. So when we got what we thought we wanted, we didn't worry over whether our exs were compatible with our core beliefs, just so long as they fulfilled our weak desires. However, once their issues with things like: family, money, friends, etc. started disturbing our fantasy world, then we either fell out of love or fell away from the relationship.
Let's face it, most older men who are doing well in life and have already raised their own children, really don't want to become dads to babies all over again. It was a stressful period in their lives. Now they want to be free to do what they want. Me comes first in those golden years! It should be obvious to the young mother, that the older man and the ex didn't make it when their children were young, what's the likelihood that he will make it in a new relationship where mom is younger and her children aren't his? What to do, what to do?
Some men may take advantage of the situation and keep the young woman around for occasional sex and a partner to go here and there with, but if the young woman is often without a babysitter, most likely she will be unable to go to many places. Instead, most of the couple's time together will be spent at her home or his. There must be an understanding between them early on as to what each want of the relationship. Without this knowledge, head games may be played resulting in unnecessary relationship drama.
A man who feels like he may have to compete with the children or ex may not stick around. He may be more apt to find a suitable partner for his needs. Being a single parent is hard, being a young single parent is even harder! There are still so many challenges in life that a young mother must face like learning more about herself and what she wants out of life, health changes, career changes, parenting issues, and maybe an increase desire to get married and have more children. Some caring older men don't want to be an additional burden to someone who already has enough burdens in her young life. Others would try to help. But the majority of older men, would stay away. They have been there done that and really don't want to have to do that all over again!
Every person is different; therefore there are some exceptions to the rule. There will be those older men who will date younger women with children just to do something different or as explained earlier, there is something about her that fulfills a fantasy. However, don't expect a long-term commitment unless the man truly desires a wife. Unfortunately, most older men have already been married before and are not interested in doing it again especially with someone very young.
Nicholl McGuire
You have to wonder though, why someone would bother taking on some, if not all, of someone else's burden despite his or her age. Of course, there is such a thing as love, but there is also such a thing as desperation. Some people can't stand to be lonely! They will sacrifice their carefree lifestyle and peace just to be close to someone. But their are others who have a more hidden reason for dating someone that may seem trivial to many. There may be a certain interest or look they desire so much in someone else that they will tolerate just about anything to be with him or her. This strong desire is also known as obsession.
Maybe the younger woman has gorgeous long, blond hair that this older man absolutely loves or beautiful hazelnut eyes that seem to draw him in everytime he looks at her. Whatever that "thing" is that she possesses, the older man doesn't mind putting up with all the baggage that comes with her just so that he can enjoy the benefit of being with his ideal mate. Two small children, an ex, an overbearing mother, money issues, and a home filled with past memories may be a part of this young woman's world, but the desperate older man doesn't seem to care just so long as she is fulfilling some aspect of his fantasy. "I don't care about all that other stuff! I love her! She has beautiful eyes, nice long hair, and coca skin! I always wanted to be with her type!"
Some of us have gone to great lengths over the years to date our ideal look. We have given those exs a pass on just about anything that they did just so that we can satisfy lustful desires. We envisioned our soul mate to look and act a certain way. So when we got what we thought we wanted, we didn't worry over whether our exs were compatible with our core beliefs, just so long as they fulfilled our weak desires. However, once their issues with things like: family, money, friends, etc. started disturbing our fantasy world, then we either fell out of love or fell away from the relationship.
Let's face it, most older men who are doing well in life and have already raised their own children, really don't want to become dads to babies all over again. It was a stressful period in their lives. Now they want to be free to do what they want. Me comes first in those golden years! It should be obvious to the young mother, that the older man and the ex didn't make it when their children were young, what's the likelihood that he will make it in a new relationship where mom is younger and her children aren't his? What to do, what to do?
Some men may take advantage of the situation and keep the young woman around for occasional sex and a partner to go here and there with, but if the young woman is often without a babysitter, most likely she will be unable to go to many places. Instead, most of the couple's time together will be spent at her home or his. There must be an understanding between them early on as to what each want of the relationship. Without this knowledge, head games may be played resulting in unnecessary relationship drama.
A man who feels like he may have to compete with the children or ex may not stick around. He may be more apt to find a suitable partner for his needs. Being a single parent is hard, being a young single parent is even harder! There are still so many challenges in life that a young mother must face like learning more about herself and what she wants out of life, health changes, career changes, parenting issues, and maybe an increase desire to get married and have more children. Some caring older men don't want to be an additional burden to someone who already has enough burdens in her young life. Others would try to help. But the majority of older men, would stay away. They have been there done that and really don't want to have to do that all over again!
Every person is different; therefore there are some exceptions to the rule. There will be those older men who will date younger women with children just to do something different or as explained earlier, there is something about her that fulfills a fantasy. However, don't expect a long-term commitment unless the man truly desires a wife. Unfortunately, most older men have already been married before and are not interested in doing it again especially with someone very young.
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
Does Looks Matter? What Will Others Think About Me Dating...?
When you are attracted to someone, one of the first things you are going to pay attention to is how this person looks. Now some optimist types would say, "That shouldn't matter, it's what is on the inside that really counts." Well, that's all well and good, but welcome to reality older man, younger woman, looks do matter to some, but to who is the question? Does your mate really care about you?
You may be the kind of person who doesn't care too much about looks. You may not have a certain type that you prefer to date. You may not be bothered about whether a woman or man is black, yellow, red or white. But there are those that all this is important. This is why you must be sure that who you are dating isn't faking it to make it. Does he or she really love you inside and out or is this person just tolerating you for now?
There are some people who just know how to act very well when it comes to being into someone. They will pretend like they enjoy their hobbies and interests when they really don't. They will act like gray hair, wrinkles and being overweight doesn't bother them, when it really does. Some men and women will fake being comfortable on a date with someone younger or older. Meanwhile, he is hoping that his mother, ex-wife or sister won't happen to see him walking down the street with his younger mate or she is praying that her dad doesn't see her with this old man.
You have to be confident with who you are when dating someone older or younger. You will get those looks. People will make you feel uncomfortable. I recall when a group of guys walked by me with my older mate and they were staring. They looked at me then him and back to me again. One commented, "Why is she with that old man?" My stomach dropped. I was shocked, I couldn't say anything. To this day, I don't know if my date heard the young man. Needless to say, the young man's words affected me for at least a day.
Be sure you are willing to stand strong in a relationship such as this especially when the naysayers start bad-mouthing your actions. Don't be a coward or try to defend your actions. If you are in love, then so be it. Who cares what anyone else says? However, be prepared for some stressful moments and try not to let other's words and reactions affect your dating relationship.
Nicholl McGuire
See more writings related to relationships here.
You may be the kind of person who doesn't care too much about looks. You may not have a certain type that you prefer to date. You may not be bothered about whether a woman or man is black, yellow, red or white. But there are those that all this is important. This is why you must be sure that who you are dating isn't faking it to make it. Does he or she really love you inside and out or is this person just tolerating you for now?
There are some people who just know how to act very well when it comes to being into someone. They will pretend like they enjoy their hobbies and interests when they really don't. They will act like gray hair, wrinkles and being overweight doesn't bother them, when it really does. Some men and women will fake being comfortable on a date with someone younger or older. Meanwhile, he is hoping that his mother, ex-wife or sister won't happen to see him walking down the street with his younger mate or she is praying that her dad doesn't see her with this old man.
You have to be confident with who you are when dating someone older or younger. You will get those looks. People will make you feel uncomfortable. I recall when a group of guys walked by me with my older mate and they were staring. They looked at me then him and back to me again. One commented, "Why is she with that old man?" My stomach dropped. I was shocked, I couldn't say anything. To this day, I don't know if my date heard the young man. Needless to say, the young man's words affected me for at least a day.
Be sure you are willing to stand strong in a relationship such as this especially when the naysayers start bad-mouthing your actions. Don't be a coward or try to defend your actions. If you are in love, then so be it. Who cares what anyone else says? However, be prepared for some stressful moments and try not to let other's words and reactions affect your dating relationship.
Nicholl McGuire
See more writings related to relationships here.
Wednesday
Moody, Irritable, Argumentative and 50 Plus? Cramping, Bloating and 18 Plus?
In the past, this blog has provided information on Andropause. This is a health condition that affects males which is caused by a deficiency in testosterone. Now as much as our society likes to deceive us into thinking we are all younger than we think, the truth be told is that we are all getting older. As we mature, things like our memory, mood, and body are affected. We don't remember things as good as we use to. We become more easily agitated by little things. Our body weight increases and it becomes more challenging to lose weight especially in one's mid-section.
I am referring mature males who happened to come across this site to the following link below as well as young women who may not understand Andropause. Hopefully, couples will become more knowledgeable and understanding of this condition.
When searching health websites related to personal issues, I would like readers to check out additional subject matter related to women that might be causing some issues in your relationship as well. Look up PMS, PMDD and Perimenopause at the site. Any woman who has a menstrual cycle will be affected. Mood swings, anger problems, bloating, cramping, lack of sexual drive, etc. are all issues that affect young women too. Some women don't suffer much during their premenstrual cycle while others are affected a great deal. This condition can also impact your relationship especially if you aren't aware of the symptoms.
So do check out these health conditions it might be a serious wake up call for some of you as to why your past relationships didn't work out.
Nicholl McGuire
I am referring mature males who happened to come across this site to the following link below as well as young women who may not understand Andropause. Hopefully, couples will become more knowledgeable and understanding of this condition.
When searching health websites related to personal issues, I would like readers to check out additional subject matter related to women that might be causing some issues in your relationship as well. Look up PMS, PMDD and Perimenopause at the site. Any woman who has a menstrual cycle will be affected. Mood swings, anger problems, bloating, cramping, lack of sexual drive, etc. are all issues that affect young women too. Some women don't suffer much during their premenstrual cycle while others are affected a great deal. This condition can also impact your relationship especially if you aren't aware of the symptoms.
So do check out these health conditions it might be a serious wake up call for some of you as to why your past relationships didn't work out.
Nicholl McGuire
Tuesday
Immature + Mature = More Relationship Problems
A dating relationship between older and younger, rich and poor, even handicap and well can work, but immature and mature? Nope. A mature man dating an immature woman will not last if the immature woman doesn't ever grow up. The immature older man and the mature younger woman dating relationship won't work either. Common sense shows that when one is dating anyone incompatible with he or she, it is only a matter of time that if one person doesn't conform to be more compatible, the dating relationship won't work in the long term. This would explain why some intelligent folks dating the immature might compromise normal behavior for abnormal or why some unintelligent folks might start "acting" more mature. If you want your relationship to last, you have to make some changes whether they be right or worse, wrong for you. That's right I said wrong, because some people are more concerned about wanting someone to like them; rather than questioning whether certain behaviors are just wrong. They are willing to conform to just about anything just to keep that man or woman that they are benefiting from which is so wrong! If you start doing some things in the relationship that you know aren't right for you, beware, it is only a matter of time that you will grow weary of trying to "fit in" just to stick it out with someone especially if this person is the immature one.
Most people as you know, don't like change. So the older you are, the least likely you will want to change. For instance, a silly, immature young woman will see a more serious, older man as boring when she is still interested in going out with her friends and partying. A silly, immature older man may consider a mature younger woman as an "old soul" and feel like he could have dated someone his own age since this younger woman acting older doesn't represent his idea of what a fountain of youth may look or act like--something he might have been craving.
There are many logical as well as illogical reasons as to why someone would be looking to date someone older or younger, but if you are going to enter into this kind of dating relationship, you have to pick someone that is compatible with you whether you consider yourself to be mature or immature. Trying to find someone who is on your level of maturity, may be difficult, because sometimes dates will manipulate who they really are at least until you get to know them better.
You may want to ask what your closest friends think of your level of maturity. Sometimes we may think one thing, but the world sees someone totally different. Not being honest with yourself about your level of maturity will make it even more challenging to find someone compatible. Some people think because they are a certain age they are considered mature, but not so fast! There are many older men who act immature and many younger women who are surprisingly mature. When the two meet one another, at first, it seems like they may have a lot in common, but then in time, the two will find that one is really not who he or she claims to be.
What the younger woman may have thought was a mature man seated in front of her, turns out to be a little boy looking for some motherly attention and what the mature man thought was this young, free spirit, is really a full grown woman looking for a man to love and care for her in a future marriage. If you look beyond the surface when choosing a date and pay close attention to the mannerisms and thoughts being conveyed to you by your date, you will find yourself getting a good look at what the future might hold with this person whether he or she is straightforward with you or not.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Most people as you know, don't like change. So the older you are, the least likely you will want to change. For instance, a silly, immature young woman will see a more serious, older man as boring when she is still interested in going out with her friends and partying. A silly, immature older man may consider a mature younger woman as an "old soul" and feel like he could have dated someone his own age since this younger woman acting older doesn't represent his idea of what a fountain of youth may look or act like--something he might have been craving.
There are many logical as well as illogical reasons as to why someone would be looking to date someone older or younger, but if you are going to enter into this kind of dating relationship, you have to pick someone that is compatible with you whether you consider yourself to be mature or immature. Trying to find someone who is on your level of maturity, may be difficult, because sometimes dates will manipulate who they really are at least until you get to know them better.
You may want to ask what your closest friends think of your level of maturity. Sometimes we may think one thing, but the world sees someone totally different. Not being honest with yourself about your level of maturity will make it even more challenging to find someone compatible. Some people think because they are a certain age they are considered mature, but not so fast! There are many older men who act immature and many younger women who are surprisingly mature. When the two meet one another, at first, it seems like they may have a lot in common, but then in time, the two will find that one is really not who he or she claims to be.
What the younger woman may have thought was a mature man seated in front of her, turns out to be a little boy looking for some motherly attention and what the mature man thought was this young, free spirit, is really a full grown woman looking for a man to love and care for her in a future marriage. If you look beyond the surface when choosing a date and pay close attention to the mannerisms and thoughts being conveyed to you by your date, you will find yourself getting a good look at what the future might hold with this person whether he or she is straightforward with you or not.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Thursday
You Wanted that Nice, Sexy...Now You Got It!
Oh boy, did you ever...! "You got that nice piece of $%^?!" one of your boys says as if he doesn't believe it. You are just smiling from ear-to-ear about that special man or woman in your life. The world has stopped spinning and all you hear anymore are birds chirping. You and your younger partner have isolated yourselves. You both have a "me and you against the world" mentality.
So you thought I was going to say, "But..." right? Of course, there is a "but." But, it's for your own good, boss, dad, college student, retiree or divorced. You know these titles will make or break this kind of relationship if you or she isn't comfortable with them.
Where do you go from here, mature man? One of you or both should be asking this question, because anyone who has ever been in a relationship always comes to this point. So it might as well be you who is reading this. How will being in a relationship with your younger partner benefit you in both the short and long-terms? Or, is there really any long-term? You have heard the experiences of people in these kind of dating older/dating younger relationships. Are you conducting yourself in that "full speed ahead until we crash into a wall" fashion in this relationship?
What about your career and/or educational goals? Is there room in this relationship for that? What about a possible pregnancy? Do you really think aborting would be the best option or keeping the child? How will your partner fit in with your family? Do you make enough money if you are retired to help your younger partner?
Love blinds us. Reality awakes us. We can use every cliche in the book to make us feel at ease with what we are doing in our personal lives, but seriously mature man, we (both men and women of all ages) all need a voice of reason just in case that special someone breaks our heart.
Sure, your taking it slow, but then again maybe not if you already had sex with her. Sure, you will come to that bridge when you get there. You may already be there if she has been sharing her feelings about you. Don't wait. Talk about the things that matter when it comes to your intimate relationship with your younger woman and those who care about her. She (and they--you know her family) just might still respect you in the morning.
Nicholl McGuire
Join on Twitter@datingdramas
So you thought I was going to say, "But..." right? Of course, there is a "but." But, it's for your own good, boss, dad, college student, retiree or divorced. You know these titles will make or break this kind of relationship if you or she isn't comfortable with them.
Where do you go from here, mature man? One of you or both should be asking this question, because anyone who has ever been in a relationship always comes to this point. So it might as well be you who is reading this. How will being in a relationship with your younger partner benefit you in both the short and long-terms? Or, is there really any long-term? You have heard the experiences of people in these kind of dating older/dating younger relationships. Are you conducting yourself in that "full speed ahead until we crash into a wall" fashion in this relationship?
What about your career and/or educational goals? Is there room in this relationship for that? What about a possible pregnancy? Do you really think aborting would be the best option or keeping the child? How will your partner fit in with your family? Do you make enough money if you are retired to help your younger partner?
Love blinds us. Reality awakes us. We can use every cliche in the book to make us feel at ease with what we are doing in our personal lives, but seriously mature man, we (both men and women of all ages) all need a voice of reason just in case that special someone breaks our heart.
Sure, your taking it slow, but then again maybe not if you already had sex with her. Sure, you will come to that bridge when you get there. You may already be there if she has been sharing her feelings about you. Don't wait. Talk about the things that matter when it comes to your intimate relationship with your younger woman and those who care about her. She (and they--you know her family) just might still respect you in the morning.
Nicholl McGuire
Join on Twitter
Tuesday
Too Old, Too Young? Think Before You Act
If you have dated someone younger or older, you most likely have heard someone say, "He is too old...She is too young..." As much as we would like to debate about "the age thing," the truth is if someone tells you the truth, you ought to listen. Who doesn't want someone to love, who has nice things, and enjoys activities that others our own age doesn't? But when you compare apples to oranges, there are many others out here in the world that you most likely will have more in common with your own age or near your own age. You have to see more in a relationship with an older or younger person besides, "We both like playing video games...we both enjoy walks in the park...we both love puppies!" On the outside looking in, these reasons are cute, but they don't represent reality.
There are many older men with young boy personalities living in their bodies like there are many younger women with older women personalities living in their bodies. It seems like a great combination, that is until the two start living together. You never know on what day the old soul will come out or the playful boy will show up which can cause many problems in one's relationship. There isn't really anything you can do about a person with alters like these.
Know who you are dating. The older man became the playful boy, because something triggered such a personality in his old age. The younger woman became the old soul because something also happened in her lifetime to make her that way. A mature man liked what he no longer is (young) when he looked at the younger woman, but was drawn to the old woman inside of her. The younger woman liked what she didn't have (a mature figure in her life) when she looked at the older man, but was drawn to the young man on the inside of him.
Sure, you can converse about your different personalities, complain, sigh or moan to that relative or friend, but none of your issues with that person will make his or her alters go away--nothing! You either deal with them or you don't. Relationships like these can get rather complicated, so despite being in a relationship like this myself, you won't always find me encouraging others to jump on board especially if I know they have some serious personality or unresolved childhood issues.
Of course, there are those relationships that go the distance, but oftentimes you find out that many of these kind of relationships are dead-ends. They start out with a purpose, but then in time someone or something creates a major shift in the relationship. It is then that "the pretty young thing" or "old man" becomes yesterday's old news. You might even hear one day, "What happened to your girlfriend? What was wrong with him? I told you it wouldn't last."
Nicholl McGuire
There are many older men with young boy personalities living in their bodies like there are many younger women with older women personalities living in their bodies. It seems like a great combination, that is until the two start living together. You never know on what day the old soul will come out or the playful boy will show up which can cause many problems in one's relationship. There isn't really anything you can do about a person with alters like these.
Know who you are dating. The older man became the playful boy, because something triggered such a personality in his old age. The younger woman became the old soul because something also happened in her lifetime to make her that way. A mature man liked what he no longer is (young) when he looked at the younger woman, but was drawn to the old woman inside of her. The younger woman liked what she didn't have (a mature figure in her life) when she looked at the older man, but was drawn to the young man on the inside of him.
Sure, you can converse about your different personalities, complain, sigh or moan to that relative or friend, but none of your issues with that person will make his or her alters go away--nothing! You either deal with them or you don't. Relationships like these can get rather complicated, so despite being in a relationship like this myself, you won't always find me encouraging others to jump on board especially if I know they have some serious personality or unresolved childhood issues.
Of course, there are those relationships that go the distance, but oftentimes you find out that many of these kind of relationships are dead-ends. They start out with a purpose, but then in time someone or something creates a major shift in the relationship. It is then that "the pretty young thing" or "old man" becomes yesterday's old news. You might even hear one day, "What happened to your girlfriend? What was wrong with him? I told you it wouldn't last."
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday
He's Old Enough to Be Her Dad
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| tipsdatingoldermen.BlogSpot.com |
In many communities around our country, there is some young naïve or "fast tailed" girl or woman who has serious childhood issues that she doesn't recognize or can handle. So when an older man comes along with his false promises of caring for her, she goes along with whatever he says just to get along. To her, romance is nothing more than a movie complete with sex and dinner. In her mind, she has never been treated like a lady by her younger boyfriends. The older man holds her hand, brings her flowers, writes her love notes, takes her out to the mall, and buys her the things she wants, and much, much more which is usually taught in the bedroom. Meanwhile, those boys or young men around her can't fathom what she sees in a wrinkled, grey haired, overweight older man who walks slow and talks slower.
There are so many young women who have so much potential to be something great without the need for a father figure, but that is exactly what her subconscious mind tells her when she looks at the older man. "He will take care of you...he will buy you nice things...you don't have to worry about him playing head games...he loves you..." But many older men do just that, play mind games. They know how to take a younger woman and mold and shape her into what he desires (at least for a time--that is until she acts up--then on to the next one.)
Feel free to share the information on this site with those younger women you may know who are currently dating all sorts of men.
Nicholl McGuire
Author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men
Friday
Independent Woman: A Blessing & A Curse
Oh, how could it be that an independent woman could be both a blessing and a curse!? Well nowadays this is just what she is. You see, to an older man who grew up during a time when many women depended on a man to be both the breadwinner as well as drive the family from point a to point b, he is use to seeing men be the head in the family. So he may think that he should take care that his partner is never without money and/or his service. However, independent women of our present day actually frown on relationships like that. They wonder what is wrong with a woman who relies on a man to drive her around or requests money from a man. "She can do those things herself!" They cry. Sure, but if the partnership is working, who are we to judge?
When the independent woman contributes to the relationship her finances or other material things, she is considered a blessing to a man. However, when she expresses independent thoughts or ways that seem to overlook or overshadow her man, she is considered a curse. The older man enjoys the fruits of her labor, but doesn't want her to control anything, because he feels like a leadership role is his proper place in the home. Yet, independent women (especially those who have attended college) are very much like men, they are taught to not only service the people, but lead them too! Great mentality for the workplace, but not so great for intimate relationships! Too many leaders anywhere can create problems.
Independent women everywhere are doing well for themselves there is no question about it. There are both young and older men who take notice too! Some think, "Well, what can she do for me? I mean, I could use some help in my finances and in my quest to get ahead. I could use her to help me get where I want to be." This is where being independent can also be a curse. A successful woman is an easy target for men who aren't so successful; therefore she can easily be taken for granted.
Couples must get an understanding, before they start seriously dating exclusively on what kind of relationship they hope to have with one another. If the older man is the type who believes that a man should be king over his castle, then the two should talk about that. If the woman believes that she should be treated equal or even treated like the head in the relationship, then the older man should take note.
Both mentalities will lead to future problems if neither aren't willing to reach compromises.
There are many young independent thinking women who consider men to be icing on their cakes (so to speak) similar to how men have long thought of women. They don't see men as an important foundation in building up the relationship; rather these woman of today want to not only plan the cake, but also cook it and if a man comes along and wants to decorate it, that's okay, but it's not a requirement. An older man who doesn't have this understanding with his younger partner on what his role is in the relationship will have problems with a younger women! He should never assume that he knows younger women and how they think. Just like most clothes, one size doesn't fit all. She may remind you of someone and may even look like that person, but you must remind yourself that she is not!
Young women must also respect older men and their views about relationships--a man 10 plus years does have a different mindset than a man who is the same age as a young woman. As mentioned in this blog before, a considerably younger woman can't teach a considerably older man new tricks especially if he is too tired, too busy, too stressed or simply too old to do what she asks.
Far too many women, both young and old, desire to change men, and as we all know from watching other people go through bad relationships, it just doesn't work! Couples, the ones that last, know when to just wave the white flag and say, "I surrender!" An independent young woman who has her sights on her ambitions is not about to raise a white flag for anyone unless she sees some kind of benefit. The older man must ask himself, "What am I willing to put up with?"
Remember a young woman and an older man come from two different mindsets, possibly cultures, ethnicities, and the like. Neither should expect to dance by the beat of each other's drum without giving up something. The problem is an older man who is set in his ways isn't about to listen to someone younger and possibly inexperienced unless he sees some benefit. A younger woman most likely had problems listening to her father or some other older male relative growing up, so the last thing she wants is another father figure.
Both the younger woman and the older man will want to seriously evaluate the relationship and what exactly are the pros and cons to being with one another. He or she may want to seriously handle "the issues" (whatever they might be) as they arise without having to deal with the age factor unless need be.
In the heat of battle, no young woman wants to be called, "stupid, irresponsible or naïve" because she is younger and no older man wants to be called, "old, tired, forgetful or retarded" because he is older. But when someone who thinks with an independent mindset feels like he or she knows better and really doesn't feel like his or her partner is an asset to one's life, he or she will act disrespectful, arrogant or downright ignorant. Watch for these signs and more in your own relationship and be prepared to walk away when the time is right.
Nicholl McGuire
When the independent woman contributes to the relationship her finances or other material things, she is considered a blessing to a man. However, when she expresses independent thoughts or ways that seem to overlook or overshadow her man, she is considered a curse. The older man enjoys the fruits of her labor, but doesn't want her to control anything, because he feels like a leadership role is his proper place in the home. Yet, independent women (especially those who have attended college) are very much like men, they are taught to not only service the people, but lead them too! Great mentality for the workplace, but not so great for intimate relationships! Too many leaders anywhere can create problems.
Independent women everywhere are doing well for themselves there is no question about it. There are both young and older men who take notice too! Some think, "Well, what can she do for me? I mean, I could use some help in my finances and in my quest to get ahead. I could use her to help me get where I want to be." This is where being independent can also be a curse. A successful woman is an easy target for men who aren't so successful; therefore she can easily be taken for granted.
Couples must get an understanding, before they start seriously dating exclusively on what kind of relationship they hope to have with one another. If the older man is the type who believes that a man should be king over his castle, then the two should talk about that. If the woman believes that she should be treated equal or even treated like the head in the relationship, then the older man should take note.
Both mentalities will lead to future problems if neither aren't willing to reach compromises.
There are many young independent thinking women who consider men to be icing on their cakes (so to speak) similar to how men have long thought of women. They don't see men as an important foundation in building up the relationship; rather these woman of today want to not only plan the cake, but also cook it and if a man comes along and wants to decorate it, that's okay, but it's not a requirement. An older man who doesn't have this understanding with his younger partner on what his role is in the relationship will have problems with a younger women! He should never assume that he knows younger women and how they think. Just like most clothes, one size doesn't fit all. She may remind you of someone and may even look like that person, but you must remind yourself that she is not!
Young women must also respect older men and their views about relationships--a man 10 plus years does have a different mindset than a man who is the same age as a young woman. As mentioned in this blog before, a considerably younger woman can't teach a considerably older man new tricks especially if he is too tired, too busy, too stressed or simply too old to do what she asks.
Far too many women, both young and old, desire to change men, and as we all know from watching other people go through bad relationships, it just doesn't work! Couples, the ones that last, know when to just wave the white flag and say, "I surrender!" An independent young woman who has her sights on her ambitions is not about to raise a white flag for anyone unless she sees some kind of benefit. The older man must ask himself, "What am I willing to put up with?"
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Both the younger woman and the older man will want to seriously evaluate the relationship and what exactly are the pros and cons to being with one another. He or she may want to seriously handle "the issues" (whatever they might be) as they arise without having to deal with the age factor unless need be.
In the heat of battle, no young woman wants to be called, "stupid, irresponsible or naïve" because she is younger and no older man wants to be called, "old, tired, forgetful or retarded" because he is older. But when someone who thinks with an independent mindset feels like he or she knows better and really doesn't feel like his or her partner is an asset to one's life, he or she will act disrespectful, arrogant or downright ignorant. Watch for these signs and more in your own relationship and be prepared to walk away when the time is right.
Nicholl McGuire
Saturday
Love or Sex? Young Woman You Ought to Find Out What He Wants
Give it a little time, you know this dating relationship some of you young ladies might be in as I type. He wants something from you, most likely if you ask your older man, "Do you want love or sex from me?" He will answer, "Both." Nice response, but this isn't all you should be accepting. Watch as well as listen.
There are older men who have everything planned out in terms of what kind of relationship they want, what they are willing to put forth, and what they will not settle for. If he has been there and done that with marriage more than once, then he might not be interested in a serious relationship at this time. If he is still wondering whether or not you are the one, he may not even love you, much less, like you.
You won't know what is really going on inside that man's head if you are not asking questions and observing his actions. Is what he is saying, matching his actions? Most older men know what to expect when it comes to dating and marriage, because they have years of experience. They have been the player and been played. They have watched their father, uncles, and others in their families play women. So an older man, unless he has a mental handicap, has a plan of action when it comes to loving and sexing a woman. He isn't interested in what she has to say if she isn't establishing boundaries from the minute he has laid eyes on her.
Men are attentive to women who not only look good, but have something between their ears (notice I didn't refer to that other thing--lol,) called a brain. So some men like what is between one's legs as well, but is that going to keep the relationship going when he runs into some challenging times in his life? What are you offering besides a pretty smile and a butt?
If you want love, Young Woman, then let it find and dine you. If you desire a real companion, then put the breaks on all the romantic settings, and just allow you two to learn more about one another without the fluff like pretty hair, painted nails, a nice dress and a great restaurant.
Who is that man that calls you on the phone, really? What is really going on between the lines of text and email that he sends you? Does he really love you for always or does he just want to sex you today?
Nicholl McGuire
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| tipsdatingoldermen.BlogSpot.com |
You won't know what is really going on inside that man's head if you are not asking questions and observing his actions. Is what he is saying, matching his actions? Most older men know what to expect when it comes to dating and marriage, because they have years of experience. They have been the player and been played. They have watched their father, uncles, and others in their families play women. So an older man, unless he has a mental handicap, has a plan of action when it comes to loving and sexing a woman. He isn't interested in what she has to say if she isn't establishing boundaries from the minute he has laid eyes on her.
Men are attentive to women who not only look good, but have something between their ears (notice I didn't refer to that other thing--lol,) called a brain. So some men like what is between one's legs as well, but is that going to keep the relationship going when he runs into some challenging times in his life? What are you offering besides a pretty smile and a butt?
If you want love, Young Woman, then let it find and dine you. If you desire a real companion, then put the breaks on all the romantic settings, and just allow you two to learn more about one another without the fluff like pretty hair, painted nails, a nice dress and a great restaurant.
Who is that man that calls you on the phone, really? What is really going on between the lines of text and email that he sends you? Does he really love you for always or does he just want to sex you today?
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
Don't Believe the Hype: Not All Young Women Can Be "Trained"
I couldn't believe my ears, some years ago, I was told by someone, who had been around the block or two one too many times in life, that the reason why he specifically dated young women and others like him was because they were "trainable." Like dogs, he believed that he could get a woman to act in a way he wanted. Little did I know that later in life I would run into my share of men who thought that I was one of those "trainable" types. They quickly got a rude awakening!
It is so sad that there are men in this world who have been given such relationship advice when it comes to dating younger women. They believe that if they can get young women (or any woman) to "go along just to get along" the relationship will work out in their favor. Keep in mind the plan doesn't include having to give up anything that makes him a little bit uncomfortable or inconvenienced for a short or long period of time. Maybe the older man is a father of small children and needs someone to babysit them so that he can have some personal time since the mother is no longer around, women his own age may not be interested in the role, but a young woman just might. Although he may tell the younger woman, "I don't need you to raise my children, I just need a companion," if she is wise, she knows better. How are you going to be in a serious relationship with any man who frequently has his children around him and you have zero influence on them unless you never interact with them? The intention of the man is not to keep his new woman out of the loop, if anything, he is looking for a help mate or dare I say it, for the player type, someone he can take advantage of!
Now some women, whether young or old, fall for the niceties that mask one's true intent; however, others know better. The manipulative older man is not going to get a young, wise woman to go along with anything without her questioning everything! This is one of the main reason why some stubborn, settled older men will never get along with the independent, career minded younger women of today. She isn't going to accept a simple yes or no answer from an older man when the question asked requires a full explanation. She is going to be curious about public affiliations as well as private interests. The wise, young woman has a "head on her shoulders" which makes her not trainable. The manipulative older man should save some time and energy-- just move on!
Like young women who don't have much in life to start, the older man doesn't have much life left, so he is going to make the most of it! "What can this young woman do for me?" He thinks. "How can I get her to see things my way?" The older man doesn't think he needs to do much compromising with the immature and youthful, because in his mind, he feels he has already paid many dues in life and besides he has been there and done that.
The older man has experienced long term relationships in the past, he knows what he has to give up. He has heard the complaints and concerns from his previous sexual conquests. So with a young woman (also known as a fresh piece of meat in the eyes of some lustful men,) he believes he can convince her that he isn't that person he used to be. For some men, they do change, but not without sacrifice. Some have lost finances, partners, children, homes and more to be that nice, humbled guy standing before you. However, others will never change no matter what happens to them, if anything, things just might get worse for them and those who they choose to partner up with! Would you want to be that young woman who comes into his life unsuspecting that he has a plan to train you, so that he can benefit in the short or long term?
Sometimes we have to put ourselves in other people's shoes when we come up with plans to try to make people do what we want. That young woman is someone's daughter and that older man is oftentimes someone's father or even grandfather. How would you feel if you were either or and along comes someone with a hidden agenda in your life?
Nicholl McGuire
Author of She's Crazy
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| tipsdatingoldermen.BlogSpot.com |
It is so sad that there are men in this world who have been given such relationship advice when it comes to dating younger women. They believe that if they can get young women (or any woman) to "go along just to get along" the relationship will work out in their favor. Keep in mind the plan doesn't include having to give up anything that makes him a little bit uncomfortable or inconvenienced for a short or long period of time. Maybe the older man is a father of small children and needs someone to babysit them so that he can have some personal time since the mother is no longer around, women his own age may not be interested in the role, but a young woman just might. Although he may tell the younger woman, "I don't need you to raise my children, I just need a companion," if she is wise, she knows better. How are you going to be in a serious relationship with any man who frequently has his children around him and you have zero influence on them unless you never interact with them? The intention of the man is not to keep his new woman out of the loop, if anything, he is looking for a help mate or dare I say it, for the player type, someone he can take advantage of!
Now some women, whether young or old, fall for the niceties that mask one's true intent; however, others know better. The manipulative older man is not going to get a young, wise woman to go along with anything without her questioning everything! This is one of the main reason why some stubborn, settled older men will never get along with the independent, career minded younger women of today. She isn't going to accept a simple yes or no answer from an older man when the question asked requires a full explanation. She is going to be curious about public affiliations as well as private interests. The wise, young woman has a "head on her shoulders" which makes her not trainable. The manipulative older man should save some time and energy-- just move on!
Like young women who don't have much in life to start, the older man doesn't have much life left, so he is going to make the most of it! "What can this young woman do for me?" He thinks. "How can I get her to see things my way?" The older man doesn't think he needs to do much compromising with the immature and youthful, because in his mind, he feels he has already paid many dues in life and besides he has been there and done that.
The older man has experienced long term relationships in the past, he knows what he has to give up. He has heard the complaints and concerns from his previous sexual conquests. So with a young woman (also known as a fresh piece of meat in the eyes of some lustful men,) he believes he can convince her that he isn't that person he used to be. For some men, they do change, but not without sacrifice. Some have lost finances, partners, children, homes and more to be that nice, humbled guy standing before you. However, others will never change no matter what happens to them, if anything, things just might get worse for them and those who they choose to partner up with! Would you want to be that young woman who comes into his life unsuspecting that he has a plan to train you, so that he can benefit in the short or long term?
Sometimes we have to put ourselves in other people's shoes when we come up with plans to try to make people do what we want. That young woman is someone's daughter and that older man is oftentimes someone's father or even grandfather. How would you feel if you were either or and along comes someone with a hidden agenda in your life?
Nicholl McGuire
Author of She's Crazy
Wednesday
One of the Worst Mistakes a Young Woman Makes When Dating Older Men
I was thinking about one of the worst mistakes I made as well as other young women that I have known over the years who have dated someone older. The worst mistake we made was trust that everything an older, married man tells you is truth.
Gullible young women who want to be loved fall for the old, "I don't love my wife" trick. They assume that the relationship between the older man and his ex is emotionally and physically over after 10 plus years and that somehow the once loyal, married older man is now in love with the younger woman. Not so fast! Even if he isn't sleeping with that older woman that he has left behind, doesn't mean that his heart is over her.
Young women want older men who can love them the way they want to be loved. These women have had bad experiences with young, immature men. What a breath of fresh air when the young woman finds an older man who sincerely loves her even if he is still married! However, beware that there are some married men who just need a temporary distraction, something that will make them forget about their future ex who just so happens to be the mother of their children, a business partner, or an on again off again lover.
Young women, don't allow yourselves to be caught in a married man's lies! "I don't love her...we never have sex...I wasn't sleeping with her...I don't visit her...we don't talk on the phone...I'm going to divorce her and marry you...I love you...we have so much in common..."
The deceptive, older man manipulates his words to get you to perform in ways that he wants. If he desires to date you and wants you to date him exclusively, then he will make himself more available to you and he might give you some money and gifts to keep you interested. If he wants sex from you, then he will test you to see how much work he might have to put in to get you to go to bed with him. Meanwhile, his heart may be reserved for that woman he left who helped him raise children, build a business, invest in property, and more. You might recall the deceptive, older man say something to you like, "I broke up with the ex because we no longer got along, she was boring...didn't appreciate me...always argued...cheated." Sure, and he never did anything wrong always said, "please and thank you." Don't fall for it!
One day that older man is going to realize that he would have been better off with the wife of his youth; rather than try to get a new one to preserve his youth and that's when hearts will be broken. Don't be gullible! Young women, watch more and talk less when dealing with an older man and never trust everything he says as truth until proven otherwise.
Nicholl McGuire
Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Gullible young women who want to be loved fall for the old, "I don't love my wife" trick. They assume that the relationship between the older man and his ex is emotionally and physically over after 10 plus years and that somehow the once loyal, married older man is now in love with the younger woman. Not so fast! Even if he isn't sleeping with that older woman that he has left behind, doesn't mean that his heart is over her.
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Young women, don't allow yourselves to be caught in a married man's lies! "I don't love her...we never have sex...I wasn't sleeping with her...I don't visit her...we don't talk on the phone...I'm going to divorce her and marry you...I love you...we have so much in common..."
The deceptive, older man manipulates his words to get you to perform in ways that he wants. If he desires to date you and wants you to date him exclusively, then he will make himself more available to you and he might give you some money and gifts to keep you interested. If he wants sex from you, then he will test you to see how much work he might have to put in to get you to go to bed with him. Meanwhile, his heart may be reserved for that woman he left who helped him raise children, build a business, invest in property, and more. You might recall the deceptive, older man say something to you like, "I broke up with the ex because we no longer got along, she was boring...didn't appreciate me...always argued...cheated." Sure, and he never did anything wrong always said, "please and thank you." Don't fall for it!
One day that older man is going to realize that he would have been better off with the wife of his youth; rather than try to get a new one to preserve his youth and that's when hearts will be broken. Don't be gullible! Young women, watch more and talk less when dealing with an older man and never trust everything he says as truth until proven otherwise.
Nicholl McGuire
Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Saturday
Trying to Fit In to the Point of Deceiving Your Date?
"Be yourself!" You heard this phrase from people who give you advice on how to act around certain individuals and groups. However, for the older man and younger woman dating one another, it can be easier said than done.
I have been the one who was trying to act older at one point to impress a man back in my early twenties, but I was also on the receiving end when an older man was trying to act younger than what he was. Both of us were nothing more than deceiving one another, at least for awhile; however eventually, we were found out! He says, "I enjoy traveling..." but he doesn't go anywhere on his off time. She says, "I love going to jazz concerts..." and she has only been to one in her life-time. Do you see the false fronts?
Someone is going to have a bad day while finding out the truth and that is when the cover is blown! A younger woman finds out the truth about the older man, so, "You really don't do much at all!?" The older man finds out the truth about the younger woman, "You aren't as active as I thought! Heck, you barely have sex!?" Neither is who they claim to be! He may have initially thought, "She acts quite mature for her age..." On the other hand, she thinks, "He is quite fun and youthful!" After spending a little time with one another, they quickly learn there are problems and lots of them. "You are just a daddy's girl looking for a sugar daddy, huh!?" He yells. "Well, what about you? You just want a daughter to care for you in your old age!"
What both the older man and younger woman must remember is trying to fit in with one another by talking or acting a certain way will not win one another over for long. Unless you are a skilled actor or actress who can keep your role up all day and everyday, it is only a matter of time that you will slip up.
The old statement, "Be yourself," means just that! Don't act any different than you do on a daily basis. State what you like to do, but inform your date what you are presently doing with your life. If you are embarrassed about a mediocre life, then start doing something to make it more interesting, but be genuine. If you know that you tend to act quite immature, work on your short-comings. Please note younger women, some personal issues will only go away with time and experience and an older man must be patient with you.
As much as we want to belong to someone that fits us like a hand in a glove, we must remember that no such person exists. They may come close, but like hats and gloves, one size doesn't fit all.
Nicholl McGuire
Author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues
I have been the one who was trying to act older at one point to impress a man back in my early twenties, but I was also on the receiving end when an older man was trying to act younger than what he was. Both of us were nothing more than deceiving one another, at least for awhile; however eventually, we were found out! He says, "I enjoy traveling..." but he doesn't go anywhere on his off time. She says, "I love going to jazz concerts..." and she has only been to one in her life-time. Do you see the false fronts?
Someone is going to have a bad day while finding out the truth and that is when the cover is blown! A younger woman finds out the truth about the older man, so, "You really don't do much at all!?" The older man finds out the truth about the younger woman, "You aren't as active as I thought! Heck, you barely have sex!?" Neither is who they claim to be! He may have initially thought, "She acts quite mature for her age..." On the other hand, she thinks, "He is quite fun and youthful!" After spending a little time with one another, they quickly learn there are problems and lots of them. "You are just a daddy's girl looking for a sugar daddy, huh!?" He yells. "Well, what about you? You just want a daughter to care for you in your old age!"
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| tipsdatingoldermen.BlogSpot.com |
The old statement, "Be yourself," means just that! Don't act any different than you do on a daily basis. State what you like to do, but inform your date what you are presently doing with your life. If you are embarrassed about a mediocre life, then start doing something to make it more interesting, but be genuine. If you know that you tend to act quite immature, work on your short-comings. Please note younger women, some personal issues will only go away with time and experience and an older man must be patient with you.
As much as we want to belong to someone that fits us like a hand in a glove, we must remember that no such person exists. They may come close, but like hats and gloves, one size doesn't fit all.
Nicholl McGuire
Author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues
Monday
When Young Women Love Older Men
There are older women in circles right now discussing why men in their age group go for younger women. They are usually angry, jealous, and bitter about the fact because they know that once they reach a certain age the pickings for men get a lot slimmer. That is why some older women will not move on or be content being alone. They will hold on to their unavailable ex, date a player, put up with a drunk, and use drugs with an addict or anything else just because they are so desperate to keep a man even when he doesn’t want them anymore. So when a younger woman comes along and the older man divorces his wife for her, cheats on his older girlfriend for her or does something else to be with her, some of these older women act like old fools! The younger woman isn’t to blame in most cases unless she deliberately went after an unavailable, happily married man. However, usually these older men are unhappily married, living separate from their wives, divorced, or dating other women but just haven’t found one to date exclusively yet. Whatever his issue, his wife’s issue or his ex’s issue, the point is the young woman has now fallen in love with him.
What does she feel when she is in love with her older man? What does her action or inaction in the relationship with him look like? Let’s answer these questions.
Since every woman is different it’s hard to provide specific details as to how she feels about him, but there are some basic things to look out for if you intend to make the relationship a happy one. Because she is younger, she doesn’t usually have as much life experience as you. Depending on her age, she may have just moved out of mommy and daddy’s home and is beginning to start a life of her own free of authority figures. So if you come along and try to tell her how to live her life like a parent, then she can very easily fall out of love with you and the idea of ever dating a man older and settle with someone closer to her age. However, if you act more like a friend and encourage her to live independently and enjoy her life, then she will eventually find her way to you because you are not stifling her from being the kind of woman she is destined to be.
Some younger women fall deeply in love with older men because her father didn’t show her the kind of love she wanted as a child. He may have been absent, physically abusive, or mentally unaware of her existence because he was too busy working. So here you are this wonderful, kind older gentleman with your arms open wide and she will not hesitate to jump in them and look to you to be a father that she never had. Now this isn’t always the case, some younger women had great relationships with their dad and wish to be with men who have similar attributes as their father. If their dad was hardworking, took great care of the family, honest, and church-going, then she may expect the same from you. This kind of thinking is not only with young women who date older men but any woman dating any man of any color, age, race, or creed.
When she truly loves her older man she will want to do everything for him and be the kind of woman he adores. This concept is no different if she was with a man the same age or younger. A woman who is treated with respect, admired, loved, and appreciated will react just like a man who feels the same way. She will go out of her way to make him happy when she is in love. However, if she isn’t she will grow distant and will start to think of what she may have missed out on by not being with a man her own age. Her family if they notice that she is not happy in the relationship will encourage her to break up with the older man and find someone more age appropriate for her. That is why some older men try to keep the family out of her life because they want to be the only ones who have control over her. Unfortunately, their plan of control usually backfires and the young woman who was once blind begins to see and realizes that the older man is just not for her.
Younger women can be a blessing to older men especially when these men reach an age where they can no longer care for themselves. She will at that point in their lives not only be their lover but be a trusted caretaker as well. An older man tends to have the best of both worlds when dealing with a younger woman (that is why his friends will envy him), he can be free to relive his youth again and he knows that if she is in love with him she will see to it that he is taken care of for the rest of his life.
By Nicholl McGuire
Author of She's Crazy
What does she feel when she is in love with her older man? What does her action or inaction in the relationship with him look like? Let’s answer these questions.
Since every woman is different it’s hard to provide specific details as to how she feels about him, but there are some basic things to look out for if you intend to make the relationship a happy one. Because she is younger, she doesn’t usually have as much life experience as you. Depending on her age, she may have just moved out of mommy and daddy’s home and is beginning to start a life of her own free of authority figures. So if you come along and try to tell her how to live her life like a parent, then she can very easily fall out of love with you and the idea of ever dating a man older and settle with someone closer to her age. However, if you act more like a friend and encourage her to live independently and enjoy her life, then she will eventually find her way to you because you are not stifling her from being the kind of woman she is destined to be.
Some younger women fall deeply in love with older men because her father didn’t show her the kind of love she wanted as a child. He may have been absent, physically abusive, or mentally unaware of her existence because he was too busy working. So here you are this wonderful, kind older gentleman with your arms open wide and she will not hesitate to jump in them and look to you to be a father that she never had. Now this isn’t always the case, some younger women had great relationships with their dad and wish to be with men who have similar attributes as their father. If their dad was hardworking, took great care of the family, honest, and church-going, then she may expect the same from you. This kind of thinking is not only with young women who date older men but any woman dating any man of any color, age, race, or creed.
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Younger women can be a blessing to older men especially when these men reach an age where they can no longer care for themselves. She will at that point in their lives not only be their lover but be a trusted caretaker as well. An older man tends to have the best of both worlds when dealing with a younger woman (that is why his friends will envy him), he can be free to relive his youth again and he knows that if she is in love with him she will see to it that he is taken care of for the rest of his life.
By Nicholl McGuire
Author of She's Crazy
Wednesday
How to Know You Are Not Ready to Date an Older Man
You like the idea of dating someone older, but are you really ready? Article provides tips to help you answer that question.
He approached you whether in person or over the Internet, you know how old this older man is and you think you might take him up on his offer to go out, but do you really know what to expect? You may know enough about him that turns you off, but there are a few things about him that turn you on more. Questions come to mind such as, “What if I don’t like him? What would my family and friends think if I date him?” This is why it is important to seriously think through whether you want to date an older man. Here are some signs to watch out for that will help you determine whether you are ready or not.
One. You can’t seem to look past his gray or thinning hair, sagging skin, age spots, or deep lines and wrinkles on his face and body.
Two. You complain often about his choice in television and radio shows and would prefer he get more involved with your world.
Three. You find yourself wishing that he would change his wardrobe.
Four. You are often embarrassed being seen with him in public and can’t handle the dirty looks some people give you.
Five. When you communicate your thoughts or interests to him, you feel that he is more interested in having sex with you.
Six. You feel uncomfortable with the idea that his daughter or son is about your age and his ex-wife is about your mother’s age.
Seven. You enjoy his money more than his company.
Eight. You often struggle with trying “to fit in” with his family because of their age differences too.
Nine. When he asks, “Do you have a problem with our age difference, you find yourself lying.”
Ten. You can’t handle when he or his relatives make jokes about him being your “sugar daddy” and you being “a gold digger.” You are angry often and find yourself fantasizing about dating someone your own age.
Now that you have 10 tips to help you understand whether you sincerely want to date an older man, it’s time to put yourself to the test! If at any time you feel that a dating relationship with an older man isn’t right for you, be honest and tell him. He may not agree but at least he will respect you for your honesty.
By Nicholl McGuire
Dating & Relationship Advice
He approached you whether in person or over the Internet, you know how old this older man is and you think you might take him up on his offer to go out, but do you really know what to expect? You may know enough about him that turns you off, but there are a few things about him that turn you on more. Questions come to mind such as, “What if I don’t like him? What would my family and friends think if I date him?” This is why it is important to seriously think through whether you want to date an older man. Here are some signs to watch out for that will help you determine whether you are ready or not.
One. You can’t seem to look past his gray or thinning hair, sagging skin, age spots, or deep lines and wrinkles on his face and body.
Two. You complain often about his choice in television and radio shows and would prefer he get more involved with your world.
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Four. You are often embarrassed being seen with him in public and can’t handle the dirty looks some people give you.
Five. When you communicate your thoughts or interests to him, you feel that he is more interested in having sex with you.
Six. You feel uncomfortable with the idea that his daughter or son is about your age and his ex-wife is about your mother’s age.
Seven. You enjoy his money more than his company.
Eight. You often struggle with trying “to fit in” with his family because of their age differences too.
Nine. When he asks, “Do you have a problem with our age difference, you find yourself lying.”
Ten. You can’t handle when he or his relatives make jokes about him being your “sugar daddy” and you being “a gold digger.” You are angry often and find yourself fantasizing about dating someone your own age.
Now that you have 10 tips to help you understand whether you sincerely want to date an older man, it’s time to put yourself to the test! If at any time you feel that a dating relationship with an older man isn’t right for you, be honest and tell him. He may not agree but at least he will respect you for your honesty.
By Nicholl McGuire
Dating & Relationship Advice
Sunday
How to Take it Slow When Dating: 7 Dos of Getting to Know Your Mate
You met someone that you really admire and you tell your family and friends about him or her. They will most likely caution you “to take it slow.” What exactly does that mean anyway? You feel almost offended by their remark, because you know that you are going to let love run its course no matter how fast or slow. However, you know from past experiences that their advice isn’t wrong, so how do you take it slow when dating an older or younger someone who knocks you off your feet? The following are seven dating dos that will help you take it slow:
One. Do go to plenty of public places together.
Oftentimes when age gap couples realize they really like being in each other’s presence, they abandon great opportunities to discover new things together outside of the bedroom. Then their relationship crashes and burns before it gets started. Remember to keep the relationship fresh by creating new things to do together.
Two. Do spend more time talking on the phone and using email during those early weeks of getting to know one another.
So many people miss signs that a person really isn’t their match, because they are often in a rush to get to the intimate stage of the relationship. Take this time to watch how they react when problems arise. Observe whether they keep their word about calling you on the phone or responding to your email.
Three. Do prepare questions to ask him or her prior to every meeting.
Have something to talk about every time you meet. Life is too short to allow opportunities to ask questions pass you by. You may be serious about getting married one day, having children, and buying a home. Why waste time by not asking what your potential mate wants out of life, what are the things that he or she values the most, and where does he or she see themselves in the future?
Four. Do participate in gift-giving.
Whether you are the one giving the gift or receiving the gift, expect or return the favor. When someone really likes you as much as they say they do, they will do whatever they can to make you happy and vice versa.
Five. Do date others until you are ready to commit.
You may not be completely sold on seeing this person so why prematurely commit to him or her. Allow yourself to get to know others until you are ready to settle down.
Six. Do explain to your new date that you are dating others.
Many May-December couples start off having problems because no one talks about the others that he or she may be seeing. Be honest about what you are doing. If you find that you have to lie or cover-up about these other relationships, then you may be ready to date this person exclusively. Find out how your date sincerely feels about you. If you both agree to date exclusively, cut the others off and update one another on your progress.
Seven. Do respect one another’s space and personal possessions.
When couples start getting serious about one another they falsely assume that they need to be around one another daily. They also think that they should share everything between one another because they are now a couple. However, it’s because of this kind of thinking that many couples go from being in love to falling out of love. Treasure your time apart and enjoy your things without feeling the need to have to share them all the time.
Now that you have seven dos to assist you with taking it slow while dating, read the article that discusses seven don’ts when taking it slow. These tips will help you get a better understanding of what it really means when people tell you to “take your time, take it slow, don’t rush…”
By Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
One. Do go to plenty of public places together.
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Two. Do spend more time talking on the phone and using email during those early weeks of getting to know one another.
So many people miss signs that a person really isn’t their match, because they are often in a rush to get to the intimate stage of the relationship. Take this time to watch how they react when problems arise. Observe whether they keep their word about calling you on the phone or responding to your email.
Three. Do prepare questions to ask him or her prior to every meeting.
Have something to talk about every time you meet. Life is too short to allow opportunities to ask questions pass you by. You may be serious about getting married one day, having children, and buying a home. Why waste time by not asking what your potential mate wants out of life, what are the things that he or she values the most, and where does he or she see themselves in the future?
Four. Do participate in gift-giving.
Whether you are the one giving the gift or receiving the gift, expect or return the favor. When someone really likes you as much as they say they do, they will do whatever they can to make you happy and vice versa.
Five. Do date others until you are ready to commit.
You may not be completely sold on seeing this person so why prematurely commit to him or her. Allow yourself to get to know others until you are ready to settle down.
Six. Do explain to your new date that you are dating others.
Many May-December couples start off having problems because no one talks about the others that he or she may be seeing. Be honest about what you are doing. If you find that you have to lie or cover-up about these other relationships, then you may be ready to date this person exclusively. Find out how your date sincerely feels about you. If you both agree to date exclusively, cut the others off and update one another on your progress.
Seven. Do respect one another’s space and personal possessions.
When couples start getting serious about one another they falsely assume that they need to be around one another daily. They also think that they should share everything between one another because they are now a couple. However, it’s because of this kind of thinking that many couples go from being in love to falling out of love. Treasure your time apart and enjoy your things without feeling the need to have to share them all the time.
Now that you have seven dos to assist you with taking it slow while dating, read the article that discusses seven don’ts when taking it slow. These tips will help you get a better understanding of what it really means when people tell you to “take your time, take it slow, don’t rush…”
By Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Tuesday
12 Signs a Young Woman is Being Played By a Dirty Old Man
What Some of Older Male Relatives May Not Have Told Young Women About Old Players
Your family and friends are concerned about your sudden interest in a man twice maybe even three times your age. They wonder what you see in him and secretly you wonder what he sees in you as well. You hope that this isn’t a fly by night romance for a man struggling with mid-life issues, but how do you know? There are 12 signs you may want to watch out for when relating to your older man. So put off the wedding plans in your head and the butterflies in your stomach for a moment while you read the following points.
One. He is adamant about no surprise visits at his home or work.
Now if he has nothing to hide why would he feel the need to tell you that?
Two. He will only see you on certain days of the week.
So there must be a schedule set to see one another?
Three. He often picks out places to entertain you that are far away from the city.
You may want to suggest places that are closer to the city then watch his reaction.
Four. He doesn’t share any information about his personal life such as mention conversations he may have had with family and friends.
He is often asking you questions about your day, but when you ask him questions about his day he is vague or unresponsive.
Five. He avoids spending holidays with you or comes by to see you very late in the day, during his lunch break, or early in the morning.
Once again, you should be questioning why?
Six. He is overly protective about his belongings especially his cell phone and computer.
Is it necessary to become angry if you just so happen to flip his phone back and look at the screen?
Seven. He often doesn’t stick to appointments with you because “something came up” which makes him late or causes him to cancel.
An occasional cancellation or an apology for being late is acceptable, but frequently – something is up?
Eight. He dresses nice on days when he is supposed to be casually dressed.
Did he tell you he had a meeting to go to prior to seeing you? He must have forgot to mention it or maybe he had another date before he came over to see you?
Nine. Whenever you try to change his routine or schedule suddenly, he is making up excuses.
Control freak or someone else is controlling his time.
Ten. He isn’t interested in meeting your family or friends and doesn’t offer to introduce you to any of his family or friends especially his parents.
He simply isn’t serious about you yet, give him some time.
Eleven. When you bring up marriage, children, or moving in together, he either smiles, avoids the issue, or jokes about it. Meanwhile, he is telling his friends, “Never again will I get married.”
If you want marriage and he doesn’t, what makes you think that you can change him?
Twelve. People in his neighborhood, especially women, look at you or him negatively and talk about all the women who come in and out of his home. They may even mention in so many words how they use to date him and make negative comments about him.
Women can’t keep a good secret, they will expose a bad person or bad behavior, and if she is a women scorned then she will let the cat out of the bag. Listen to what she is telling you in a round-about way—she is warning you.
If you have noticed all of these signs working together throughout the relationship then you are being played. Many young women overlook these signs because they don’t want to believe that their older men is betraying them, because they assume that because they look or act a certain way they can’t be played. Yet, if you were quick to give him your heart, plan your days around him, and believe every little thing that comes out of his mouth without paying attention to his actions, then you are subjecting yourself to his game. As the saying goes, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
By Nicholl McGuire
Your family and friends are concerned about your sudden interest in a man twice maybe even three times your age. They wonder what you see in him and secretly you wonder what he sees in you as well. You hope that this isn’t a fly by night romance for a man struggling with mid-life issues, but how do you know? There are 12 signs you may want to watch out for when relating to your older man. So put off the wedding plans in your head and the butterflies in your stomach for a moment while you read the following points.
One. He is adamant about no surprise visits at his home or work.
Now if he has nothing to hide why would he feel the need to tell you that?
Two. He will only see you on certain days of the week.
So there must be a schedule set to see one another?
Three. He often picks out places to entertain you that are far away from the city.
You may want to suggest places that are closer to the city then watch his reaction.
Four. He doesn’t share any information about his personal life such as mention conversations he may have had with family and friends.
He is often asking you questions about your day, but when you ask him questions about his day he is vague or unresponsive.
Five. He avoids spending holidays with you or comes by to see you very late in the day, during his lunch break, or early in the morning.
Once again, you should be questioning why?
Six. He is overly protective about his belongings especially his cell phone and computer.
Is it necessary to become angry if you just so happen to flip his phone back and look at the screen?
Seven. He often doesn’t stick to appointments with you because “something came up” which makes him late or causes him to cancel.
An occasional cancellation or an apology for being late is acceptable, but frequently – something is up?
Eight. He dresses nice on days when he is supposed to be casually dressed.
Did he tell you he had a meeting to go to prior to seeing you? He must have forgot to mention it or maybe he had another date before he came over to see you?
Nine. Whenever you try to change his routine or schedule suddenly, he is making up excuses.
Control freak or someone else is controlling his time.
Ten. He isn’t interested in meeting your family or friends and doesn’t offer to introduce you to any of his family or friends especially his parents.
He simply isn’t serious about you yet, give him some time.
Eleven. When you bring up marriage, children, or moving in together, he either smiles, avoids the issue, or jokes about it. Meanwhile, he is telling his friends, “Never again will I get married.”
If you want marriage and he doesn’t, what makes you think that you can change him?
Twelve. People in his neighborhood, especially women, look at you or him negatively and talk about all the women who come in and out of his home. They may even mention in so many words how they use to date him and make negative comments about him.
Women can’t keep a good secret, they will expose a bad person or bad behavior, and if she is a women scorned then she will let the cat out of the bag. Listen to what she is telling you in a round-about way—she is warning you.
If you have noticed all of these signs working together throughout the relationship then you are being played. Many young women overlook these signs because they don’t want to believe that their older men is betraying them, because they assume that because they look or act a certain way they can’t be played. Yet, if you were quick to give him your heart, plan your days around him, and believe every little thing that comes out of his mouth without paying attention to his actions, then you are subjecting yourself to his game. As the saying goes, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
By Nicholl McGuire
Monday
When an Older Man Denies He is having a Mid-Life Crisis
She didn’t accuse him of having an affair, because that wasn’t the truth; rather she accused him of having a mid-life crisis. Warning signs of what was ahead, she told him that if he didn’t start doing the following: eating right, exercising, seeing his doctor, following doctor’s orders, and taking his prescribed medicines that the relationship would be over. She hadn’t asked for much, at least so she thought, but he felt that she was being pushy, acting like his mother, and he wasn’t going to listen. In time the relationship went downhill. He stayed out all night at times with his friends. He didn’t bother to call when he would be late coming home from work. He wasn’t interested in having sex with her anymore. He wanted more out of life and so he quit his job and didn’t tell her until he got a new one months later. He took monies they saved over the years from a joint savings account and bought toys for himself and trinkets for his admirers. He hadn’t done the ultimate betrayal, as of yet which was have sex with other women, but he sure was thinking about it. Given all the porn she found in his computer. She had a crisis on her hands and he was in denial.
You may know of someone like this and you may have tried to speak some wisdom to him, but he refuses to listen. Experts say that when a man is having a midlife crisis you are to try to be supportive and don’t belittle him or pressure him to change his ways, rather go along for the ride because at some point he will come to his senses -- easier said than done. The truth is that many men don’t come to their senses until it’s too late. They move forward into a life that was directed by their hormones and then when they look back they see a trail of tears, broken hearts, debt, and other serious errors. As old as they are, they refuse to take full responsibility for the mess that they caused.
We make jokes about the man who has his shirt unbutton; wearing a toupee, driving a sports car with a young woman by his side, but it’s no laughing matter. His cloudy brain has made him indecisive, irrational, illogical, and at times downright strange. What can we do when he says that he isn’t having a mid-life crisis? We don’t deny the truth; instead, we just call his attention to the foolish decisions he makes and pray that he sees the light. We provide him with choices and make him think that he came up with our ideas. For instance, if we want to go somewhere or eat something different, we recall a time when he may have said something similar and then attribute the idea to him. “I only cooked this because you said….” Now this man in a midlife crisis has an attitude that changes from one day to the next. What he use to eat it he doesn’t eat anymore. What he use to wear he doesn’t like anymore. The places he use to frequent are not as exciting as they once were. He often forgets what you have told him and thinks that you are the one losing it when in all actuality he is losing it. But you don’t argue and you don’t challenge him. Instead, you keep the peace by being selective on what is worth fighting about and what isn’t. Everything is not up for debate unless you want to run him out of your home.
You always want to take the time to listen to his complaints and concerns and try to make the atmosphere livable. No, you can’t prevent him from cheating, lying stealing or doing anything else that makes you and the family look bad, but what you can do is have a faith. Look to something greater than yourself to see him through. Believe that God is watching and that he will help him through his crisis.
By Nicholl McGuire
You may know of someone like this and you may have tried to speak some wisdom to him, but he refuses to listen. Experts say that when a man is having a midlife crisis you are to try to be supportive and don’t belittle him or pressure him to change his ways, rather go along for the ride because at some point he will come to his senses -- easier said than done. The truth is that many men don’t come to their senses until it’s too late. They move forward into a life that was directed by their hormones and then when they look back they see a trail of tears, broken hearts, debt, and other serious errors. As old as they are, they refuse to take full responsibility for the mess that they caused.
We make jokes about the man who has his shirt unbutton; wearing a toupee, driving a sports car with a young woman by his side, but it’s no laughing matter. His cloudy brain has made him indecisive, irrational, illogical, and at times downright strange. What can we do when he says that he isn’t having a mid-life crisis? We don’t deny the truth; instead, we just call his attention to the foolish decisions he makes and pray that he sees the light. We provide him with choices and make him think that he came up with our ideas. For instance, if we want to go somewhere or eat something different, we recall a time when he may have said something similar and then attribute the idea to him. “I only cooked this because you said….” Now this man in a midlife crisis has an attitude that changes from one day to the next. What he use to eat it he doesn’t eat anymore. What he use to wear he doesn’t like anymore. The places he use to frequent are not as exciting as they once were. He often forgets what you have told him and thinks that you are the one losing it when in all actuality he is losing it. But you don’t argue and you don’t challenge him. Instead, you keep the peace by being selective on what is worth fighting about and what isn’t. Everything is not up for debate unless you want to run him out of your home.
You always want to take the time to listen to his complaints and concerns and try to make the atmosphere livable. No, you can’t prevent him from cheating, lying stealing or doing anything else that makes you and the family look bad, but what you can do is have a faith. Look to something greater than yourself to see him through. Believe that God is watching and that he will help him through his crisis.
By Nicholl McGuire
Sunday
Young Woman: What to Do When Breaking up with Older Man
You want to an end a relationship with an older man without making him feel that it’s his age that is an issue. You don’t want to have to hear, “I told you so!” from family and friends, but they told you so. Now you want to get out of this relationship that you feel is going nowhere so how do you do it?
First, take the time to plan what you are going to say. Be sure you are speaking from the heart. Meaning that everything you feel, you say. In this way it’s a clean break without any question; rather than coming back repeatedly to your ex with statements you forgot to say the first time.
Next, don’t say anything to your older man about breaking up until you are certain that is what you want to do. If you are still indecisive about being with him, you don’t want to say something before you are ready otherwise you will appear as if you are playing games.
He may already think you are too young for him and at times immature, but don’t confirm his thoughts by talking in circles when you are ready to make that clean break. Be direct, straightforward when you speak to him. Tell your older man friend that you can’t see a future with him and that is the reason why you must end it now. If you choose to get into details, don’t tell him things like, “Well I was thinking about what my mother said…” Even if your parents influenced your decision don’t tell him so. Grown women who make life decisions don’t make them based solely on what people say, they evaluate the situation, they test it, and they see how it works for them. Then they either embrace the challenge or dismiss it.
Now he may be critical of you and say mean things. Expect him to behave like a child because you were his prize trophy. He may even tell you, “I can find another one like you.” If so, he will be another woman’s problem, but be grateful that you are free.
You will most likely feel like you made a mistake especially if he supplied you with cash. He may even use it to keep you under his control. Tell him you don’t need it, even if you do. When making a clean break, leave the cash behind too. Otherwise, you will only make it harder to rid yourself of him and if you should date someone new they won’t like the idea that another man is taking care of you and he won’t like the idea that you are taking his money and buying another man gifts.
Lastly, don’t get his family involved in your break up. Let him tell them whatever he is going to tell him about the break up. If you must share any information with them, do it when you are over him. The last thing you want to do is appear like you are a sniffling little child who is lost without their beloved.
There are older men who will attempt to make you feel small for breaking up with them because their ego is wounded especially if he is one of those who are having a mid-life crisis. In their minds they are thinking, “Who does this stupid, young girl think she is?” You see, some older men pride themselves on being one step ahead in relationships and business and if they feel like they are being undermined, deceived or rejected, they will have temper tantrums just like children. You aren’t a child, so don’t act like one even if he does accuse you of handling matters like one. What else is he going to say? You are breaking up with him and if he carries on in the way that was described, be glad you are so over him!
By Nicholl McGuire
First, take the time to plan what you are going to say. Be sure you are speaking from the heart. Meaning that everything you feel, you say. In this way it’s a clean break without any question; rather than coming back repeatedly to your ex with statements you forgot to say the first time.
Next, don’t say anything to your older man about breaking up until you are certain that is what you want to do. If you are still indecisive about being with him, you don’t want to say something before you are ready otherwise you will appear as if you are playing games.
He may already think you are too young for him and at times immature, but don’t confirm his thoughts by talking in circles when you are ready to make that clean break. Be direct, straightforward when you speak to him. Tell your older man friend that you can’t see a future with him and that is the reason why you must end it now. If you choose to get into details, don’t tell him things like, “Well I was thinking about what my mother said…” Even if your parents influenced your decision don’t tell him so. Grown women who make life decisions don’t make them based solely on what people say, they evaluate the situation, they test it, and they see how it works for them. Then they either embrace the challenge or dismiss it.
Now he may be critical of you and say mean things. Expect him to behave like a child because you were his prize trophy. He may even tell you, “I can find another one like you.” If so, he will be another woman’s problem, but be grateful that you are free.
You will most likely feel like you made a mistake especially if he supplied you with cash. He may even use it to keep you under his control. Tell him you don’t need it, even if you do. When making a clean break, leave the cash behind too. Otherwise, you will only make it harder to rid yourself of him and if you should date someone new they won’t like the idea that another man is taking care of you and he won’t like the idea that you are taking his money and buying another man gifts.
Lastly, don’t get his family involved in your break up. Let him tell them whatever he is going to tell him about the break up. If you must share any information with them, do it when you are over him. The last thing you want to do is appear like you are a sniffling little child who is lost without their beloved.
There are older men who will attempt to make you feel small for breaking up with them because their ego is wounded especially if he is one of those who are having a mid-life crisis. In their minds they are thinking, “Who does this stupid, young girl think she is?” You see, some older men pride themselves on being one step ahead in relationships and business and if they feel like they are being undermined, deceived or rejected, they will have temper tantrums just like children. You aren’t a child, so don’t act like one even if he does accuse you of handling matters like one. What else is he going to say? You are breaking up with him and if he carries on in the way that was described, be glad you are so over him!
By Nicholl McGuire
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