Saturday

Trying to Fit In to the Point of Deceiving Your Date?

"Be yourself!"  You heard this phrase from people who give you advice on how to act around certain individuals and groups.  However, for the older man and younger woman dating one another, it can be easier said than done.

I have been the one who was trying to act older at one point to impress a man back in my early twenties, but I was also on the receiving end when an older man was trying to act younger than what he was.  Both of us were nothing more than deceiving one another, at least for awhile; however eventually, we were found out!  He says, "I enjoy traveling..." but he doesn't go anywhere on his off time.  She says, "I love going to jazz concerts..." and she has only been to one in her life-time.  Do you see the false fronts?

Someone is going to have a bad day while finding out the truth and that is when the cover is blown!  A younger woman finds out the truth about the older man, so, "You really don't do much at all!?"  The older man finds out the truth about the younger woman, "You aren't as active as I thought!  Heck, you barely have sex!?"  Neither is who they claim to be!  He may have initially thought, "She acts quite mature for her age..."  On the other hand, she thinks, "He is quite fun and youthful!"  After spending a little time with one another, they quickly learn there are problems and lots of them.  "You are just a daddy's girl looking for a sugar daddy, huh!?"  He yells.  "Well, what about you?  You just want a daughter to care for you in your old age!"
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What both the older man and younger woman must remember is trying to fit in with one another by talking or acting a certain way will not win one another over for long.  Unless you are a skilled actor or actress who can keep your role up all day and everyday, it is only a matter of time that you will slip up.

The old statement, "Be yourself," means just that!  Don't act any different than you do on a daily basis.  State what you like to do, but inform your date what you are presently doing with your life.  If you are embarrassed about a mediocre life, then start doing something to make it more interesting, but be genuine.  If you know that you tend to act quite immature, work on your short-comings.  Please note younger women, some personal issues will only go away with time and experience and an older man must be patient with you.

As much as we want to belong to someone that fits us like a hand in a glove, we must remember that no such person exists.  They may come close, but like hats and gloves, one size doesn't fit all.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues

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