Thursday
Wednesday
Wake Up - Male Midlife Crisis is Real - Young Woman You Might Be a Victim
For some men, they thought that if they stepped out of their marriages, distanced themselves from children and live a little, things would get better. Unfortunately, those feel-good emotions didn't happen long term like they had hoped. The "living a little" with the hot chick, new car, baby on the way, relocation, and other surprises turned into nothing more than burdens.
Former mature partners know better, young ladies don't have a clue. At first agreeing to date these men in crisis, who appear so charming, seems harmless for many single women until they spend time with them when they don't appear so attractive or behave so nicely.
Like the older women, these young women soon discover that something is very wrong with partners/lovers. They start feeling uncomfortable around these difficult men and contemplate breaking up with them. "What did I say? What did I do? Why is this guy so negative? What the f*ck is wrong with him!" a young lady might think. It isn't so much what you said or did to set him off that rattles the evil within, but it is how he feels at the moment a challenge arises. He may have been okay with something one day and then go ballistic the next. Welcome to the world of andropause/irritable male syndrome/low T.
If you have yet to read articles about male midlife on this site and others, then start diving in, you will be in for a treat or maybe a trick because you will feel like you have been duped once you get to know the irritable male.
Take heed young woman, there is more to a middle-aged man who is often moody and has what appears to be a decent past (somewhat normal not too bad,) and a satisfactory lifestyle. Despite his blessings, he nit-picks about them, complains about little things, and frequently finds fault with the people around him. Also, think twice before joining the bandwagon of blaming exes. A man in crisis may have had children with an ex he fell deeply in love with until his bodily changes took over. He might have been married for a long time, had a great career, interesting life experiences, etc. but all those things came to a halt when emotions started to change, so rather than weather life storms, he looked for ways to escape it.
Don't think he won't change on you sooner or later and don't accept responsibility for things beyond your control. The blaming, minimizing, gas-lighting, and denial happens frequently in arguments with men in crisis and unfortunately some women are physically abused as well. This is why mature woman will advise it is best to avoid the debates, get a life of your own, and do what makes you feel happy.
Sometimes older people refuse to admit that there are personal and/or professional issues occurring in their lives as a result of the aging process. Sometimes too focused on maintaining a youthful image and/or mindset, they fail to see the destruction they have left behind and just how out of touch they are with reality. Guard your heart and your bank account, young woman when dating these men.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Former mature partners know better, young ladies don't have a clue. At first agreeing to date these men in crisis, who appear so charming, seems harmless for many single women until they spend time with them when they don't appear so attractive or behave so nicely.
Like the older women, these young women soon discover that something is very wrong with partners/lovers. They start feeling uncomfortable around these difficult men and contemplate breaking up with them. "What did I say? What did I do? Why is this guy so negative? What the f*ck is wrong with him!" a young lady might think. It isn't so much what you said or did to set him off that rattles the evil within, but it is how he feels at the moment a challenge arises. He may have been okay with something one day and then go ballistic the next. Welcome to the world of andropause/irritable male syndrome/low T.
If you have yet to read articles about male midlife on this site and others, then start diving in, you will be in for a treat or maybe a trick because you will feel like you have been duped once you get to know the irritable male.
Take heed young woman, there is more to a middle-aged man who is often moody and has what appears to be a decent past (somewhat normal not too bad,) and a satisfactory lifestyle. Despite his blessings, he nit-picks about them, complains about little things, and frequently finds fault with the people around him. Also, think twice before joining the bandwagon of blaming exes. A man in crisis may have had children with an ex he fell deeply in love with until his bodily changes took over. He might have been married for a long time, had a great career, interesting life experiences, etc. but all those things came to a halt when emotions started to change, so rather than weather life storms, he looked for ways to escape it.
Don't think he won't change on you sooner or later and don't accept responsibility for things beyond your control. The blaming, minimizing, gas-lighting, and denial happens frequently in arguments with men in crisis and unfortunately some women are physically abused as well. This is why mature woman will advise it is best to avoid the debates, get a life of your own, and do what makes you feel happy.
Sometimes older people refuse to admit that there are personal and/or professional issues occurring in their lives as a result of the aging process. Sometimes too focused on maintaining a youthful image and/or mindset, they fail to see the destruction they have left behind and just how out of touch they are with reality. Guard your heart and your bank account, young woman when dating these men.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Thursday
Wednesday
10 Devious Things Deceptive Mates will Do to Keep You from Knowing the Truth
You have been burdened lately with this indescribable feeling in the pit of your stomach. You suspect that your mate hasn’t been completely honest with you about a number of things. You have attempted to converse with him or her about what is troubling you and the individual hasn’t said or did anything to bring you any relief.
Many women and men have what relationship counselors might call an "intuition," sixth sense or gut feeling when something isn't quite right with their intimate connections. How do you know that your sensibilities are being compromised by your lover?
There are ten things that your deceptive mate might do over the course of your relationship that will keep you guessing when it comes to a variety of issues such as: money, employment, cheating, family, past relationships, and children from the past. He or she already knows how you feel about any one of these areas, so to ensure that you will always see him or her in the best light, your lover will work hard not to expose you to his or her dark past, secrets, lies, or anything else that may harm his or her connection with you. So what exactly does this person say or do to try to throw your intuition off track?
1) Deny everything. It seems that no matter what you say to him or her about an issue, there is the common statement of "I don’t remember, I don’t recall, that wasn’t me, I don’t believe...It didn't happen like that...I never did...or I don’t know." One will usually respond to his or her mate, by not asking anymore questions about the matter. Meanwhile, he or she hopes you have forgotten about it.
2) Blame others. When your mate doesn’t want to be held accountable for anything, he or she will say, "Maybe you are the one with the problem…She said it not me… I didn’t do it, he did it…you know how he is…you know she doesn’t like you…" Your mate wants you to shift your focus from him or her and put it on someone else. A great distraction is to blame someone you don’t like, this way you both will start focusing on the ex, child, pet, job, etc. rather than on your partner who is causing you the most grief.
3) Cover up wrong doing with silence. You want your mate to address a problem or concern and he or she says nothing. For example, the individual may have done something like scratch the side of the car, break your treasured collectible from childhood, spent too much of your money, did something without asking your permission, or acted in ways when you weren't around that he or she knew you would be angry about. Rather than fess up, this person acts as if nothing ever happened. When pressed about the issues, your partner might become offensive and accuse you of wanting to start an argument, walk away or deny everything.
4) Make excuses. Ask your boyfriend or girlfriend why he or she was late or didn't answer his or her phone, "Did you have your cell phone turned on...Who was that in the car with you? Were you really over your mother’s house?" Your lover might stammer, stutter, get angry, look away from you or walk out. All of these behaviors are meant for him or her to buy some time to come up with an excuse. Some may already be prepared with a good story. If you aren’t convinced, check up on one's reasons.
5) Lie. When your partner doesn't want to face your wrath, feel as if he or she is backed up in a corner, or just want to be spiteful, this person will not tell you the truth. Instead, he or she will make up a story that this person hopes you might believe.
6) Find fault with you to digress from what they did or didn’t do. Ask your lover about a task that he or she said would be done or mention to your "Babe" that you noticed he or she hasn't bothered to spend time with you lately. He or she might have a reason why, but by the end of the conversation, you will find that you are defending yourself for things he or she brings up to circumvent the fact that this person isn't doing his or her part in the relationship.
7) Apologize. Someone told your lover that an apology goes far, so your "Sweetie" will attempt to make up for wrongdoing with a very nice "I’m sorry..." Meanwhile, you are still wondering if she (he) is being sincere and truthful. Actions speak louder than words, so observe how she (he) treats you afterward.
8) Beg. When they feel that you are about ready to end the relationship, your lover may talk about the years invested, everything you two have done together, what he/she has done for you, etc. When it comes down to it, the beggar is just saying these things, because you caught him or her off guard when this person wasn’t ready to break up with you. In the future, watch what this person says and does, if no changes and things get worse, he or she may be preparing to break up with you.
9) Cry. Tears are a good way to make you second-guess anything your partner says and does. He or she may be insincere. Don’t let your quest to seek truth be suffocated with your lover's tears. Act emotional right along with him or her if need be. Ask this person everything you have ever wanted to know. Frustrate him or her like a witness being questioned by an attorney, so that the truth will start spilling fourth. At some point, your partner will give up some details that will make you think whether he or she was ever being honest--connect the dots. This is also a good time to provide your lover with any proof you might have. When the emotional dispute is all said and done, your nagging gut feeling may begin to diminish.
10) Become controlling. Your girlfriend or boyfriend didn’t want you to find out about personal secrets, the lies told or anything else that puts him or her in a negative light with you, so if the individual suspects that you may be considering on ending the relationship, then be prepared for him or her to act controlling. The idea of you being with someone else is too much for this person to accept when he or she isn't ready to move on. Your lover will start wanting to keep up with you more than ever before, he or she will become very interested in what you are thinking, where you are going and who are you going with. Most of all, your mate will try to control the way you should be feeling about him or her by attempting to make you feel like everything you think, do, feel or say is wrong.
There are tricky men and women online and offline and they will not hesitate to use and abuse those who they think are naïve and gullible. Stay one step ahead and take your time before adding a lover to your bank account, letting him or her drive your car, cohabitate, get engaged or married to someone.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Many women and men have what relationship counselors might call an "intuition," sixth sense or gut feeling when something isn't quite right with their intimate connections. How do you know that your sensibilities are being compromised by your lover?
There are ten things that your deceptive mate might do over the course of your relationship that will keep you guessing when it comes to a variety of issues such as: money, employment, cheating, family, past relationships, and children from the past. He or she already knows how you feel about any one of these areas, so to ensure that you will always see him or her in the best light, your lover will work hard not to expose you to his or her dark past, secrets, lies, or anything else that may harm his or her connection with you. So what exactly does this person say or do to try to throw your intuition off track?
1) Deny everything. It seems that no matter what you say to him or her about an issue, there is the common statement of "I don’t remember, I don’t recall, that wasn’t me, I don’t believe...It didn't happen like that...I never did...or I don’t know." One will usually respond to his or her mate, by not asking anymore questions about the matter. Meanwhile, he or she hopes you have forgotten about it.
2) Blame others. When your mate doesn’t want to be held accountable for anything, he or she will say, "Maybe you are the one with the problem…She said it not me… I didn’t do it, he did it…you know how he is…you know she doesn’t like you…" Your mate wants you to shift your focus from him or her and put it on someone else. A great distraction is to blame someone you don’t like, this way you both will start focusing on the ex, child, pet, job, etc. rather than on your partner who is causing you the most grief.
3) Cover up wrong doing with silence. You want your mate to address a problem or concern and he or she says nothing. For example, the individual may have done something like scratch the side of the car, break your treasured collectible from childhood, spent too much of your money, did something without asking your permission, or acted in ways when you weren't around that he or she knew you would be angry about. Rather than fess up, this person acts as if nothing ever happened. When pressed about the issues, your partner might become offensive and accuse you of wanting to start an argument, walk away or deny everything.
4) Make excuses. Ask your boyfriend or girlfriend why he or she was late or didn't answer his or her phone, "Did you have your cell phone turned on...Who was that in the car with you? Were you really over your mother’s house?" Your lover might stammer, stutter, get angry, look away from you or walk out. All of these behaviors are meant for him or her to buy some time to come up with an excuse. Some may already be prepared with a good story. If you aren’t convinced, check up on one's reasons.
5) Lie. When your partner doesn't want to face your wrath, feel as if he or she is backed up in a corner, or just want to be spiteful, this person will not tell you the truth. Instead, he or she will make up a story that this person hopes you might believe.
6) Find fault with you to digress from what they did or didn’t do. Ask your lover about a task that he or she said would be done or mention to your "Babe" that you noticed he or she hasn't bothered to spend time with you lately. He or she might have a reason why, but by the end of the conversation, you will find that you are defending yourself for things he or she brings up to circumvent the fact that this person isn't doing his or her part in the relationship.
7) Apologize. Someone told your lover that an apology goes far, so your "Sweetie" will attempt to make up for wrongdoing with a very nice "I’m sorry..." Meanwhile, you are still wondering if she (he) is being sincere and truthful. Actions speak louder than words, so observe how she (he) treats you afterward.
8) Beg. When they feel that you are about ready to end the relationship, your lover may talk about the years invested, everything you two have done together, what he/she has done for you, etc. When it comes down to it, the beggar is just saying these things, because you caught him or her off guard when this person wasn’t ready to break up with you. In the future, watch what this person says and does, if no changes and things get worse, he or she may be preparing to break up with you.
9) Cry. Tears are a good way to make you second-guess anything your partner says and does. He or she may be insincere. Don’t let your quest to seek truth be suffocated with your lover's tears. Act emotional right along with him or her if need be. Ask this person everything you have ever wanted to know. Frustrate him or her like a witness being questioned by an attorney, so that the truth will start spilling fourth. At some point, your partner will give up some details that will make you think whether he or she was ever being honest--connect the dots. This is also a good time to provide your lover with any proof you might have. When the emotional dispute is all said and done, your nagging gut feeling may begin to diminish.
10) Become controlling. Your girlfriend or boyfriend didn’t want you to find out about personal secrets, the lies told or anything else that puts him or her in a negative light with you, so if the individual suspects that you may be considering on ending the relationship, then be prepared for him or her to act controlling. The idea of you being with someone else is too much for this person to accept when he or she isn't ready to move on. Your lover will start wanting to keep up with you more than ever before, he or she will become very interested in what you are thinking, where you are going and who are you going with. Most of all, your mate will try to control the way you should be feeling about him or her by attempting to make you feel like everything you think, do, feel or say is wrong.
There are tricky men and women online and offline and they will not hesitate to use and abuse those who they think are naïve and gullible. Stay one step ahead and take your time before adding a lover to your bank account, letting him or her drive your car, cohabitate, get engaged or married to someone.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Tuesday
Saturday
Prostitution is Illegal - Whatever the Name or Game - There will be Problems
Just a friendly reminder if a young lady offers a sexual service for a price and the man pays for it, she is considered a prostitute. In America, the act is illegal and unfortunately far too many people have gone to jail for soliciting sex. Learn more by clicking on the following websites:
Prostitution | Definition of prostitution by...
Sacred prostitution - Wikipedia, the free...
Prostitution Statistics - Sex Crimes | Laws.com
Be smart, stay safe.
Thursday
What the Young Woman Doesn't Think About When Having a Baby with an Older Man
There are issues that many age gap couples are aware of prior to a pregnancy and during the process when it comes to having a baby. A doctor will advise the expectant couples of the increase medical risks. A young woman with an older man might have more appointments than other expectant moms due to the age difference.
After baby is born, there just might be some unexpected issues especially if the mature gentleman's parents and siblings are much older and his family is large. One's baby might not be treated like others who were born many years prior, because folks are simply too old and weary to care for a demanding newborn who later turns into a very active two year old, an inquisitive four year old, and so on. Depending on the type of families, they may welcome the couple's new addition or not--especially if they were unsupportive about their older relative dating a younger woman or vice versa in the first place.
The family support might not be there, but the love must be strong enough to withstand the emotional roller coaster ride during and after the pregnancy. Some older men just don't have the tolerance level for the drama. Others have "been there and done that" so many times with other women that pregnancy and delivery just isn't special to them anymore. Then there are those older gentlemen who are quite excited about becoming fathers to the point that they practically snatch the sonogram photos out of the hands of their younger partners.
Money may or may not be an issue for the older man when it comes to getting the necessary care for the young lady and their newborn. But it might be a challenge gradually, because she may not be planning to return to work. However, if she does, there is childcare to consider. Typical expenses like baby food, diapers, and other needed supplies will drain one's bank account. Other expenses will arise like medicines, medical bills, insurance, holiday events, and more, so if one is ill-prepared the relationship will experience the strain. Days off of work is necessary to assist the new mother with the child.
Age gap relationships may weather the pregnancy and delivery challenges, but sometimes they don't. A man in mid-life is more interested in winding down and relaxing on most days, but this changes when the couple is expecting. A young lady may have thought she could keep up the pace at work and continue to do other things she loves, but the arrival of a baby is definitely a game-changer mentally and physically.
Although a relationship might feel quite nice, safe and secure, recognize all the factors that come into play once someone says, "I want to have a baby." Are you really ready for that? If not, protect yourself.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
After baby is born, there just might be some unexpected issues especially if the mature gentleman's parents and siblings are much older and his family is large. One's baby might not be treated like others who were born many years prior, because folks are simply too old and weary to care for a demanding newborn who later turns into a very active two year old, an inquisitive four year old, and so on. Depending on the type of families, they may welcome the couple's new addition or not--especially if they were unsupportive about their older relative dating a younger woman or vice versa in the first place.
The family support might not be there, but the love must be strong enough to withstand the emotional roller coaster ride during and after the pregnancy. Some older men just don't have the tolerance level for the drama. Others have "been there and done that" so many times with other women that pregnancy and delivery just isn't special to them anymore. Then there are those older gentlemen who are quite excited about becoming fathers to the point that they practically snatch the sonogram photos out of the hands of their younger partners.
Money may or may not be an issue for the older man when it comes to getting the necessary care for the young lady and their newborn. But it might be a challenge gradually, because she may not be planning to return to work. However, if she does, there is childcare to consider. Typical expenses like baby food, diapers, and other needed supplies will drain one's bank account. Other expenses will arise like medicines, medical bills, insurance, holiday events, and more, so if one is ill-prepared the relationship will experience the strain. Days off of work is necessary to assist the new mother with the child.
Age gap relationships may weather the pregnancy and delivery challenges, but sometimes they don't. A man in mid-life is more interested in winding down and relaxing on most days, but this changes when the couple is expecting. A young lady may have thought she could keep up the pace at work and continue to do other things she loves, but the arrival of a baby is definitely a game-changer mentally and physically.
Although a relationship might feel quite nice, safe and secure, recognize all the factors that come into play once someone says, "I want to have a baby." Are you really ready for that? If not, protect yourself.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
Saturday
Thursday
Young and So Dumb - What Some Selfish, Older Men Really Think of Women
Some mature men just don't think highly of women their own age much less young ladies. They can be hateful, angry, and rude toward women. As far as they are concerned they are good for periodic sex, a hot meal, money, and not much else. A 30 plus year old man who claims that he wants to settle down with a young woman who is 18 is definitely something to think twice about. She doesn't have much material wealth especially if she is still living with parents. Her life experience can't be compared to a man who is 10, 15 or even 20 plus years older than she. She is still learning and growing when it comes to life issues. The older man may have a daughter or son not that much younger who might still need to be parented. It is safe to say that the older man is most likely going through a personal crisis and what a nice distraction from his personal problems when he meets a bubbly, sweet young lady.
Of course, the mature man will attempt to persuade the young lady that he isn't having any midlife issues and that he knows what he wants. But the truth is, if you take a look at the gentleman's relationship history, how many other women did he claim to love, want, need, like? Notice what he says about the relationship endings and whether he is mainly blaming his exes and in-laws.
Some older men just love the idea of being with new sexual partners more so than settling down with them--no matter the age. But if a single or unavailable man wants to put his potential young lover at ease, he is going to say the kinds of things that will make her feel secure and safe with him.
"You are so pretty. I love that scent you are wearing. Would you like for me to buy you some more? I'm not the kind of guy who plays games, I know what I want, so will you give it to me? What would you think of being my wife one day?" The man who says these things obviously wants the young woman to feel special and consider keeping him around even though he isn't considering anything long-term or serious and may have told her so. The mature man is well aware that there are younger men who would very much like to date the young apple of his eye; therefore, he has to say whatever he can to keep her interested in him.
Some men laugh with the guys about the things they have said and done to win the trust of their young lovers. They enjoy the "dumb" act that some women play, but what they don't know is that there are those who are sincerely acting. When the time is right, those women will reveal their true selves and most likely the men won't like them so much. Then there are those young ladies who really are unintelligent and immature and so a lot of older men don't mind making them notches on their belts and then moving on. Sad, but true. These manipulative men will photograph or video record some of these young, obedient women and collect their images like hunters hanging up the heads of their prey on walls. With social media, online and offline albums, you never know just how many women have fallen prey to an older man's fantasies.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Of course, the mature man will attempt to persuade the young lady that he isn't having any midlife issues and that he knows what he wants. But the truth is, if you take a look at the gentleman's relationship history, how many other women did he claim to love, want, need, like? Notice what he says about the relationship endings and whether he is mainly blaming his exes and in-laws.
Some older men just love the idea of being with new sexual partners more so than settling down with them--no matter the age. But if a single or unavailable man wants to put his potential young lover at ease, he is going to say the kinds of things that will make her feel secure and safe with him.
"You are so pretty. I love that scent you are wearing. Would you like for me to buy you some more? I'm not the kind of guy who plays games, I know what I want, so will you give it to me? What would you think of being my wife one day?" The man who says these things obviously wants the young woman to feel special and consider keeping him around even though he isn't considering anything long-term or serious and may have told her so. The mature man is well aware that there are younger men who would very much like to date the young apple of his eye; therefore, he has to say whatever he can to keep her interested in him.
Some men laugh with the guys about the things they have said and done to win the trust of their young lovers. They enjoy the "dumb" act that some women play, but what they don't know is that there are those who are sincerely acting. When the time is right, those women will reveal their true selves and most likely the men won't like them so much. Then there are those young ladies who really are unintelligent and immature and so a lot of older men don't mind making them notches on their belts and then moving on. Sad, but true. These manipulative men will photograph or video record some of these young, obedient women and collect their images like hunters hanging up the heads of their prey on walls. With social media, online and offline albums, you never know just how many women have fallen prey to an older man's fantasies.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Saturday
Crazy, Weird, Silly - Don't Settle for Someone You Don't Really Want
When I was younger if a man had a funny looking face, an annoying flaw like a bizarre laugh, or something else I didn't like, I simply didn't make him The Guy. You know that special one in your life you want to roll around in the bed with or the guy you take home to parents. As I grew older, I created additional standards for myself and didn't care whether he had a great sports car, a huge home, and a large bank roll, if he wasn't my type, I wasn't letting him see my legs, much less my boobs.
Seriously my friends, stop the settling and this goes for the mature men too. You want a 10, but yet you go out with a five? Sooner or later that "okay" looking young lady is going to know you just don't like her much. What about the smart gal who looks great, but you don't approach her because of whatever insecurities you are grappling with? So what if she says, "No, I have a boyfriend already." There are others, many others, who will give you a little bit of this and that if you are honest.
Crazy, weird and silly people are everywhere on and off the Internet and if you don't consider yourself to be one of the three, then why get involved with odd folks? I don't care how fine the hair, eye color, height, body type is, if I don't want him--I don't want him! This is a major issue with many singles, divorced, and even unavailable men and women, they either can't connect with good-looking people with a brain between their ears or they settle for what is convenient, nearby, easy, cheap, affordable, etc. Some daters treat online dating like shopping at Walmart. "Did the price drop yet...? Oh wow, two for one special. Is the meat fresh or is it expired? Where's my coupon? The store is right by my house. Is it Black Friday?" Now for some it just might be "black" Friday, but I digress. And for others, they are serious about the quality of meat they choose too...anyway, people have feelings, I repeat, people have feelings and there is more to them than their dating preferences, location and age.
So the next time you come across some individuals that really don't impress you, no matter how eager they are to try you like you are a tasty sample at the local Cosco or Sam's Club, politely move on. Chances are they just want whatever you are putting out anyway--nothing more, nothing less. But if you want a little more than a one time experience, then be prepared to put your work in and don't settle!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and other books.
Seriously my friends, stop the settling and this goes for the mature men too. You want a 10, but yet you go out with a five? Sooner or later that "okay" looking young lady is going to know you just don't like her much. What about the smart gal who looks great, but you don't approach her because of whatever insecurities you are grappling with? So what if she says, "No, I have a boyfriend already." There are others, many others, who will give you a little bit of this and that if you are honest.
Crazy, weird and silly people are everywhere on and off the Internet and if you don't consider yourself to be one of the three, then why get involved with odd folks? I don't care how fine the hair, eye color, height, body type is, if I don't want him--I don't want him! This is a major issue with many singles, divorced, and even unavailable men and women, they either can't connect with good-looking people with a brain between their ears or they settle for what is convenient, nearby, easy, cheap, affordable, etc. Some daters treat online dating like shopping at Walmart. "Did the price drop yet...? Oh wow, two for one special. Is the meat fresh or is it expired? Where's my coupon? The store is right by my house. Is it Black Friday?" Now for some it just might be "black" Friday, but I digress. And for others, they are serious about the quality of meat they choose too...anyway, people have feelings, I repeat, people have feelings and there is more to them than their dating preferences, location and age.
So the next time you come across some individuals that really don't impress you, no matter how eager they are to try you like you are a tasty sample at the local Cosco or Sam's Club, politely move on. Chances are they just want whatever you are putting out anyway--nothing more, nothing less. But if you want a little more than a one time experience, then be prepared to put your work in and don't settle!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and other books.
Thursday
Painful Sex, Bruises, Blood - What Some will Do for Love
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Painful Sex, Bruises, Blood - What Some will Do fo...: Whether an abusive lover is too big, too small, or just right but rough privately (if you know what I mean), some victims in emotionally an...
Wednesday
Married, Children and Work - When the Mature Man Just Wants Fun
I didn't know at 20 years old when the older gentleman approached me that he had a wife, children, and other responsibilities until I walked into his office and noticed the photo behind him. We weren't at his workplace to talk business, we were planning a date. I had no conscious, compassion or anything about marriage, children or anything related, because I just thought, "He's cute for an older guy."
You would have thought that at the moment I saw the photograph I would have backed off, politely excused myself and moved on, but I didn't. He noticed I was checking out the family photo, so he took it off the shelf and talked about what appeared to be a happy group. Since he had been out of state for months, he missed them, but he also wanted to have a good time.
I didn't give the man any sex, despite his alluding to it, but what I did give him was laughter. The smile that came on his face as we strolled a park was priceless! The 40 plus year old was enjoying the company of a 20 year old and neither one of us even bothered to talk about age.
Of course, my conscious began to catch up with me a few days later. I started to think, "What if I was his wife in that photo? And he has children...What if my dad was like that?" Cold chills came over me. The gentleman called me again requesting I hang out with him, but I politely declined.
Fast forward to present day, over 20 years later I now have a family of my own and I recognize that sometimes life can get quite boring. I realized that there are men and women who just get tired of partners, children, and work--I have been there. But we have choices and there are consequences to every decision we make.
I have observed and listened to men who just felt trapped in marriages, jobs and more. Their loveless relationships produced children that they really didn't want. They worked jobs they hated. Their spouses were giving them a hard time about looking externally for happiness. But sometimes you ask yourself, "When is it my turn to live a little?" I personally think there is nothing wrong with wanting to do some things you always wanted to do with your life within reason. Does it have to be about flings, fast cars and other typical things that midlife men in crisis desire?
I think there is far too much programming out there to subliminally lure married men as well as the committed retired to do the unthinkable because there is a lot of money to gain from this group who have spent decades saving money and want any excuse to dip in their investments. Sports cars are pricey, juggling more than one woman will result in increase revenue for entertainment spots, travel, and also a trip to divorce court, and more.
Women who enable the men who want some "fun" will also pay sooner or later mentally, spiritually and physically (because hot looks do go away especially when there's lots of relationship stress and yes, I was cheated on in the past). The married man tired of his current family may end up with yet another family that makes him even more miserable.
Being idle, creating fantasies in one's mind, and flirting with trouble will cause problems for all parties in one's quest to have a little fun. Consider doing some productive things that will keep you out of trouble while appeasing the need within to live a little.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
You would have thought that at the moment I saw the photograph I would have backed off, politely excused myself and moved on, but I didn't. He noticed I was checking out the family photo, so he took it off the shelf and talked about what appeared to be a happy group. Since he had been out of state for months, he missed them, but he also wanted to have a good time.
I didn't give the man any sex, despite his alluding to it, but what I did give him was laughter. The smile that came on his face as we strolled a park was priceless! The 40 plus year old was enjoying the company of a 20 year old and neither one of us even bothered to talk about age.
Of course, my conscious began to catch up with me a few days later. I started to think, "What if I was his wife in that photo? And he has children...What if my dad was like that?" Cold chills came over me. The gentleman called me again requesting I hang out with him, but I politely declined.
Fast forward to present day, over 20 years later I now have a family of my own and I recognize that sometimes life can get quite boring. I realized that there are men and women who just get tired of partners, children, and work--I have been there. But we have choices and there are consequences to every decision we make.
I have observed and listened to men who just felt trapped in marriages, jobs and more. Their loveless relationships produced children that they really didn't want. They worked jobs they hated. Their spouses were giving them a hard time about looking externally for happiness. But sometimes you ask yourself, "When is it my turn to live a little?" I personally think there is nothing wrong with wanting to do some things you always wanted to do with your life within reason. Does it have to be about flings, fast cars and other typical things that midlife men in crisis desire?
I think there is far too much programming out there to subliminally lure married men as well as the committed retired to do the unthinkable because there is a lot of money to gain from this group who have spent decades saving money and want any excuse to dip in their investments. Sports cars are pricey, juggling more than one woman will result in increase revenue for entertainment spots, travel, and also a trip to divorce court, and more.
Women who enable the men who want some "fun" will also pay sooner or later mentally, spiritually and physically (because hot looks do go away especially when there's lots of relationship stress and yes, I was cheated on in the past). The married man tired of his current family may end up with yet another family that makes him even more miserable.
Being idle, creating fantasies in one's mind, and flirting with trouble will cause problems for all parties in one's quest to have a little fun. Consider doing some productive things that will keep you out of trouble while appeasing the need within to live a little.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Tuesday
It Isn't Always Business as Usual: Some Older Men are Kinky
He might look kind, sweet, youthful and harmless, but some mature gentlemen enjoy doing some things that cause discomfort, pain, and nightmares. If you go along, just to get along Young Lady, you just mind find yourself needing therapy one day.
Let's face it some women are ill-equipped to handle some unique, interesting, painful and downright strange experiences sexual and otherwise and to expose them to such things might mentally break them down to the point that they are useless even to themselves. Drugs, alcohol, and other things are used to lower one's inhibitions in many weird situations, but just how low does an individual want to go? What might be the consequences if a young lady reaches a point of no return? Will one be ready to face those issues and still sleep at night?
There are some aspects about dating that are just unexpected and if a young woman is in the dark about some things she will be frightened and possibly will get law enforcement and others involved. This is why one needs to know a person well and if she is interested in doing some wild things then that is her choice, but she should never be talked or forced into doing things she just doesn't want to do.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Let's face it some women are ill-equipped to handle some unique, interesting, painful and downright strange experiences sexual and otherwise and to expose them to such things might mentally break them down to the point that they are useless even to themselves. Drugs, alcohol, and other things are used to lower one's inhibitions in many weird situations, but just how low does an individual want to go? What might be the consequences if a young lady reaches a point of no return? Will one be ready to face those issues and still sleep at night?
There are some aspects about dating that are just unexpected and if a young woman is in the dark about some things she will be frightened and possibly will get law enforcement and others involved. This is why one needs to know a person well and if she is interested in doing some wild things then that is her choice, but she should never be talked or forced into doing things she just doesn't want to do.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Isolation: When the Older Man Doesn't Want His Young Woman Around Anyone But Him
He's out there, that nice guy who says in such a nice voice, "You are so pretty, I just want you all to myself." This mature man knows exactly what he is doing when he subtly or quite boldly tells a young woman what he expects from her. "I really enjoy your company, come around more often. Whatever you need I can supply those things for you..." Now if she isn't discerning, she will just laugh and dismiss what he says as unimportant. The young lady assumes that her life is still her own--independent and free even with her gentleman suitor. Little does she know, she will soon be entering a world where she will be repeatedly asked to shut off her phone off, stay with him, move away with him, etc. Family, friends, co-workers and others are just not welcome. Gradually the older man's critical voice will rise up and object to anyone or anything that interferes with his attempt at building an isolated world where it's just two and no more.
As she draws near to the man who "means the world to me," it will become increasingly difficult to reach the young woman, because his mind control will begin to take root. Her voice mail will pick up, but she won't. E-mails from acquaintances will go unopened. She will become a stranger to friends. Her family will begin to worry. Meanwhile, the older, controlling man will have her right where he wants her with him and only him.
Isolation is a form of abuse. Many mature, abusive men are either unaware of what they are doing, don't care or do care and systematically isolate their victims. Persuading or forcing someone to stay in a room, a home, a car, etc. knowing full well she wants to see people and do things apart from you is deceptive, controlling and evil.
Maybe the young female doesn't want to be bothered with her family and if that is the case, then her older gentleman friend might want to encourage her to at least write or call them just to let them know that everything is alright sometimes. But some men are content with their partners staying away from relatives, co-workers, friends, and even children, because this means they will remain loyal to them.
If the young woman should rebel against her older mate's wishes and decide that she is going to see her loved ones, talk to male friends, shop alone, work late hours, or anything else that she wants to do, then there is a psychological hell he will put her through whether in gentle ways using sweet words and affection or harsh ones using threats and fists. If loved ones should come around, these jealousy men will ignore partners and them, fight, or do things to make all parties feel unwelcome when visiting the couple's residence. He doesn't want them showing up and he doesn't mind acting rude, critical and bitter around them either. These controlling men might make their partners feel guilty when they want to go some where without them or if they should decline seeing their relatives.
A young woman who knows her partner is isolating her is going to act fearful when he does things that keep her close to him. She isn't going to tell others what is happening, because she doesn't want to look bad or make others think negatively about a man she has bragged about or defended. She also feels ashamed and angered about the way her mate acts when her loved ones are around. So the young woman will distance herself from family and friends, put a limit on outside activities, or don't do much at all just so that she doesn't have to deal with her mean-spirited partner's bad-mouthing and tantrums as a result of her wanting to see loved ones, go places, etc.
You may be a victim, an abuser or know of someone in a relationship where isolation is ongoing. Take a look at what is happening, bring attention to the problem and seek solutions. It is not "okay, normal" or a loving thing to say and do things to keep a person isolated, nor should one abandon a friend who you know is in an abusive relationship. Much of this isolation behavior derives from jealousy, insecurities, childhood issues, and being a victim possibly of abuse yourself. Don't enable dysfunction, speak up, establish boundaries and if necessary end the relationship.
1. Tells you what to do with your money or tells you not to work, so you will not be out and about.
2. Causes friction between you and others due to negative words he says about them i.e.) He lies.
3. Creates a list of things you are expected to do when interacting with others i.e.) "You only go places with me. You are not permitted to talk to the opposite sex when I'm not around whether on or off the Internet..."
4. Doesn't want people visiting the residence--makes all sorts of excuses.
5. Doesn't want to visit your relatives and friends and would rather you don't go either.
6. Suddenly comes up with "plans" to keep you from going places.
7. Tells you some things like, "It's just me and you, we don't need anyone...We can stay at home, we don't need to go anywhere...All we need is each other...We can be all alone on an island--just you and I, Baby."
8. Calls and checks up on you often and may even joke about you, "Staying put. I hope you aren't going anywhere, you stay in your place, Woman."
9. Complains, vents, yells, threatens or does things to keep you from leaving the home.
10. Offers to do many things so that you are never in an atmosphere where you could possibly meet and talk to other men i.e.) shops for you, runs errands, fixes things, offers to go places with you, etc.
As she draws near to the man who "means the world to me," it will become increasingly difficult to reach the young woman, because his mind control will begin to take root. Her voice mail will pick up, but she won't. E-mails from acquaintances will go unopened. She will become a stranger to friends. Her family will begin to worry. Meanwhile, the older, controlling man will have her right where he wants her with him and only him.
Isolation is a form of abuse. Many mature, abusive men are either unaware of what they are doing, don't care or do care and systematically isolate their victims. Persuading or forcing someone to stay in a room, a home, a car, etc. knowing full well she wants to see people and do things apart from you is deceptive, controlling and evil.
Maybe the young female doesn't want to be bothered with her family and if that is the case, then her older gentleman friend might want to encourage her to at least write or call them just to let them know that everything is alright sometimes. But some men are content with their partners staying away from relatives, co-workers, friends, and even children, because this means they will remain loyal to them.
If the young woman should rebel against her older mate's wishes and decide that she is going to see her loved ones, talk to male friends, shop alone, work late hours, or anything else that she wants to do, then there is a psychological hell he will put her through whether in gentle ways using sweet words and affection or harsh ones using threats and fists. If loved ones should come around, these jealousy men will ignore partners and them, fight, or do things to make all parties feel unwelcome when visiting the couple's residence. He doesn't want them showing up and he doesn't mind acting rude, critical and bitter around them either. These controlling men might make their partners feel guilty when they want to go some where without them or if they should decline seeing their relatives.
A young woman who knows her partner is isolating her is going to act fearful when he does things that keep her close to him. She isn't going to tell others what is happening, because she doesn't want to look bad or make others think negatively about a man she has bragged about or defended. She also feels ashamed and angered about the way her mate acts when her loved ones are around. So the young woman will distance herself from family and friends, put a limit on outside activities, or don't do much at all just so that she doesn't have to deal with her mean-spirited partner's bad-mouthing and tantrums as a result of her wanting to see loved ones, go places, etc.
You may be a victim, an abuser or know of someone in a relationship where isolation is ongoing. Take a look at what is happening, bring attention to the problem and seek solutions. It is not "okay, normal" or a loving thing to say and do things to keep a person isolated, nor should one abandon a friend who you know is in an abusive relationship. Much of this isolation behavior derives from jealousy, insecurities, childhood issues, and being a victim possibly of abuse yourself. Don't enable dysfunction, speak up, establish boundaries and if necessary end the relationship.
Isolation Tactics an Abuser will Use
1. Tells you what to do with your money or tells you not to work, so you will not be out and about.
2. Causes friction between you and others due to negative words he says about them i.e.) He lies.
3. Creates a list of things you are expected to do when interacting with others i.e.) "You only go places with me. You are not permitted to talk to the opposite sex when I'm not around whether on or off the Internet..."
4. Doesn't want people visiting the residence--makes all sorts of excuses.
5. Doesn't want to visit your relatives and friends and would rather you don't go either.
6. Suddenly comes up with "plans" to keep you from going places.
7. Tells you some things like, "It's just me and you, we don't need anyone...We can stay at home, we don't need to go anywhere...All we need is each other...We can be all alone on an island--just you and I, Baby."
8. Calls and checks up on you often and may even joke about you, "Staying put. I hope you aren't going anywhere, you stay in your place, Woman."
9. Complains, vents, yells, threatens or does things to keep you from leaving the home.
10. Offers to do many things so that you are never in an atmosphere where you could possibly meet and talk to other men i.e.) shops for you, runs errands, fixes things, offers to go places with you, etc.
Tuesday
Her Immaturity Wearing Off on You?
You didn't anticipate that the young woman's youthful spirit, energetic demeanor, and other interesting things about her would rub off on you. But there are those immature sayings, silly expressions, and other annoying things that just don't compliment her well. In addition, you catch yourself acting like her.
When you are set in your ways, mature, and know right from wrong, it can be troubling to look at yourself one day reverting back to a time in your life that you didn't find all that fun, smart, etc. Young people can bring out the best or worst in you, so beware of those times that you are just not being "adult" about some things.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and other books.
When you are set in your ways, mature, and know right from wrong, it can be troubling to look at yourself one day reverting back to a time in your life that you didn't find all that fun, smart, etc. Young people can bring out the best or worst in you, so beware of those times that you are just not being "adult" about some things.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and other books.
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