Exploring Age Gap Relationships: Concerns, Benefits, and Father-Daughter Bonds

 Age gap relationships, also known as May-December romances, are becoming increasingly common in the 21st century. Dating someone who is significantly older than you can come with its own set of advantages and disadvantages. In some cases, families can object to their daughters dating an older man due to safety concerns or potential manipulation.

One of the major reasons why families object to their daughter dating an older man is because of the age gap itself. It can be difficult for a young girl to relate to someone much older than her, and vice versa. This type of relationship can also put the younger partner at risk of manipulation or abuse due to the power imbalance between them.

In addition to safety concerns, some parents feel that it is important for their daughter to have a healthy relationship with her father or a father figure, before entering into an age gap relationship. This can help ensure that the young girl is properly prepared to handle the complexities of an adult relationship without relying on someone who has significantly more life experience than she does.

Statistics show that couples in age gap relationships tend to be happier and last longer than couples in relationships with a smaller age gap. This may be due to the fact that older men have typically had more experience in life, making them better able to handle the complexities of such a relationship.

It’s important for both parents and their daughter to have an open dialogue about age gap relationships when they arise. Acknowledging the potential risks involved, while also understanding the possible benefits can help ensure that any relationship is a healthy one. Ultimately, it’s important for everyone to approach age gap relationships with open minds and an understanding of both sides of the argument.

However, if a daughter does enter into such a relationship, it is important for her to take responsibility for her decisions and be aware of the potential risks. She should assess both partners’ emotional maturity, as well as decide if she is comfortable with the age gap between them. It is also important to remember that such relationships must be consensual in order for it to be healthy and beneficial for all involved.

Age gap relationships can come with their own unique set of challenges but they can also be incredibly rewarding. It is important for families to understand both the potential risks and benefits involved before entering into this type of relationship, so that all parties involved can make an informed decision. With open communication and understanding, age gap relationships can offer a unique opportunity to explore different aspects of life and love.

At the end of the day, it's important for the daughter to make sure that she is making decisions that are in her best interest, and that she feels safe and supported every step of the way. With open communication between all parties involved, it is possible to have a fulfilling age gap relationship.

With this being said, it’s important to remember that no two relationships are the same and that age is just one factor in a successful relationship. What matters most is that both parties are emotionally mature enough to handle the complexities of such a relationship and that there is mutual respect between them. With open communication, understanding, and trust, any two people can have an amazing relationship—regardless of age.

Ultimately, it's important for families and their daughters to understand the potential risks and benefits associated with age gap relationships before entering into one. With open communication, understanding, and making sure that all parties involved are emotionally mature enough to handle such a relationship, it is possible for a fulfilling and rewarding age gap relationship.

This being said, while it can be difficult for families to accept their daughter's decision to enter into an age gap relationship, they must remember to maintain open communication and respect their daughter's autonomy in this matter. Ultimately, it is important that all parties involved acknowledge the potential risks and benefits of such a relationship before entering into it. With mutual understanding and emotional maturity on both sides, any couple can have a fulfilling age gap relationship.

It is also important to remember that any relationship, regardless of the age gap between partners, should be build on mutual trust and respect. With open communication and understanding, all couples have the potential to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship — regardless of the age gap between them.

No matter what type of relationship you enter into, it’s important to remember that communication is key. Both parties must trust and respect each other, while also being open to discussing any potential issues that may arise throughout the course of their relationship. With open communication and understanding, any two people can have an amazing and fulfilling relationship — regardless of age or other factors. 

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues, check it out on Amazon.com

Is Not Listening to Tips, Concerns and Suggestions Contributing to Your Relationship Problems?

Intimate relationships were never meant to be handled like an inactive suggestion box. So why do we do it? Why do we state our every concern, suggestion, and problem to our partners only for them to just sit in the suggestion box locked away. You may have a box at work filled with all sorts of tips, concerns and problems to get the company moving in the right direction this year, but you never bother to open it or tell those in authority to open it. Why have a suggestion box at work or at home and you never do anything with it?

At home we most likely don’t have a tip box, but we give our concerns and suggestions as we walk by one another, sit down at a meal, or in between commercials in front of the television screen. He hears you and you hear him, but what comes of the conversation, my friend? Do you plan, make changes and set dates to get things done? Does he strategize to do anything differently? The answer to these questions is most likely not, because if you did you wouldn’t have as many relationship problems as you do. Some of you wouldn’t post on sites like popular social networking site, Facebook, under relationship status “complicated.” Your concerns, suggestions, and tips have been falling on deaf ears for days, weeks, even decades. What will it take to make something happen in your relationship? What will you have to do to see to it that everything you and your partner discussed gets done?

The best way to teach someone is by example. If there is something he or she is doing that you don’t like, you have to be the example. You get out there and get the support you need for your own habits. You start making the changes on the outside and inside that will make you feel better about yourself. You put aside the money you need to get the tasks done around the house. You do whatever you need to do to send a loud and clear message, “I don’t have time to be sitting down waiting around for you.” For instance, when a person cheats although it is a heartless, evil way to send a message to the one they supposedly love, it gets results, doesn’t it? Either the couple will stay together and make some changes in their relationship or break away from one other while realizing what failed in their past relationship. Do I advocate such a cruel act to get results, no way! But what I am saying is that it takes something either good or bad to wake people up in a relationship that seems to be spiraling downward.

I personally have been a victim of cheating back in my twenties and early 30s and the person doing the cheating, but I realized the things I did and didn’t do early on in the relationship such as, when my advisors told me, “He’s not the one. He’s no good for you” and I chose not to listen. I also have been the one to attend church alone, the one who separated from my partners days, weeks, and months at a time until they behaved or the relationship ended, sacrifice jobs, stop drinking and going out clubs and bars, cut off certain toxic friends, rearrange the household to benefit everyone even though I didn’t want to, limit spending including not buying the latest fashions and getting my hair done at the salon, and the one who had to apologize and make things right when I was in the wrong. I could go on and on but you understand that the only way sometimes to achieve peace in the household is to make a sacrifice of some sort.

If you have ever been called hard-headed, stubborn, immature, or self-righteous and nothing major has happened yet in your relationship to get you to change, well just stay in it long enough and some serious changes are bound to happen within days, weeks or years of you reading this article. Why wait until something negative occurs in your relationship to influence you to change? Why not take the gentle reminders, the notes on the wall, the light-hearted talks, the recent arguments, the tears you recently witnessed from your mate to motivate you toward change?

Not only should we listen to our partner, but we have to do too! She wants you to fix something, take her out, buy her something, why not do it? He wants you to be cautious of your tone of voice, help out more, or watch your spending habits? Why not do it? You may already know what will happen if you don’t. Some of you women reading this are feeling threatened in your relationship by someone or something, you know why you feel this way. Because there is something you know you aren’t doing. Maybe you should have ended the relationship a long time ago, but chose not to.

Nowadays you are mentally and physically suffering staying in something you don’t really want. Maybe some of you men reading this should stop drinking, because you know how alcohol affects you. It’s only a matter of time that someone will end up in jail or dead due to your abuse. Maybe you are one of those workaholics that should really consider what your partner is saying when he or she says, “I need you.” Maybe you are a man reading this whose partner says, “I need your attention,” but you rather yell about who she is talking to on the Internet and that co-worker she talks about at work. Maybe all of us need to stop spending so much time on the Internet and spend more time with those we say we love while doing the things around the house we have been putting off for weeks. Ask yourself, “Is it too late? Am I willing to do my part to see this relationship through until death do us part or is it better I leave?”

“Life is too short” so the old adage goes. So with that said, you need to make up in your mind how you want to live your last days on this earth. Do you want to live a life with someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to make your relationship work or would you rather go off on your own and hopefully find someone who may be better for you? Whatever you choose, don’t let another year go by without making a decision.

Nicholl McGuire also manages the blog Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

When the Truth Hurts: How Long Do You Think Your Mate Will Keep Your Interest?

So the reality hits the older man like a ton of bricks being with the younger woman has been one of the many things he has done during his mid-life crisis that at times he regrets.  Meanwhile, the younger woman has come to the realization that family and friends were right, she sincerely wanted a father figure in her life.  So now that their harsh truths are staring them both in the face, now what?  End the relationship?  Not so fast.  There are some feelings and possibly a child or two as a result of them being together.  One can focus on the truth and plan an escape or learn from it while using it to build a better relationship with a stronger foundation. 

Just how long a relationship will last between an enlightened mature man and a younger woman really can't be determined.  It all depends on what they truly want from one another.  Is longevity a possibility?  Well if both look at the relationship as something that is very necessary to help them emotionally, physically and possibly spiritually so be it.  But if one is carrying on with his or her partner, with frequent thoughts of break up, then it won't be long before those thoughts will manifest out of one's mouth.

Like a job, relationships must have dedicated parties who have a single objective that both can agree upon, the couple might desire to stay together by saying something like, "I seek a position in your life with the intentions on staying with you no matter what."  Without a strong decree that both can live by and return to when trials come up, the relationship is on shaky ground.  Both parties have to be willing to stay committed.  If one notices that the other is not on board and is attempting to push him or her out of his or her life prematurely, one is starting a war that he or she may not be prepared to battle especially if this person still loves his or her partner.  The individual who no longer believes in the relationship has to go through a break up process.  It took some time to start a relationship and it will take some time to end it.  Of course, disputes, name-calling and disrespect will cause individuals to act more quickly, but much damage may result particularly when children, material wealth and other things are involved.

You can find ways to stay interested in your younger or older partner if you both want to still remain together.  But if one does and the other doesn't, don't waste your time, begin your process toward freedom, seeking needed time for self while creating a future that welcomes someone in your life that does want to be with you.  The following are ways to keep love alive for those who have looked beyond the early reasons as to why they got together, and are now seeking some new reasons as to why they should stay together.  They include:

1.  Planning outings together and apart.  Consider taking some time together and away from one another to think about what this person means to you and what you can do to better your relationship.
2.  Watching romantic movies and listening to loving music together can also rekindle romance.
3.  Church attendance, praying together and participating in bible studies or other positive group settings  will bring you closer to your Creator which will ultimately help you make wise decisions.
4.  Traveling to new places locally and elsewhere.  You never know what new things you will discover about your mate if you are getting out and about.
5.  Relocating.  Sometimes environments can cause unnecessary stress on the relationship like living in cramped spaces or a chaotic neighborhood.
6.  Counseling.  Whether relationship, individual or spiritual, it helps to free yourself from past emotional ties, generational curses, etc. that keep you from going in a positive direction both personally and professionally.
7.  Socializing with family and friends.  Creating events that include positive family and friends who are in support of the two of you being together or visiting good role models who have quality relationships.
8.  Tackling a "To Do" List.  Sometimes the stress we experience in a relationship has nothing to do with the person, but everything to do with things we are not doing but we promised ourselves we would do.  Putting off health appointments, not exercising or eating healthy, avoiding necessary paperwork regarding business issues, not cleaning or organizing one's home, and procrastinating on other issues will not make you the best person to be around.  When a problem keeps coming up in your mind, body, spirit, or environment, you deal with it, don't look at your partner!

Nicholl McGuire

Think of some other things you could do to keep love alive, stress down, and overall live a little while longer!

Dating an Older Man or Woman With Mixed Feelings and Doubts?

Someone who is 10, 15, 20 or even 30 years older than you has expressed romantic interest. However, lately you have had some mixed feelings about dating them, how do you deal with your doubts and be at peace with your decision to date, stay in the relationship or end it?

Meet Nadine, she was 21 when she met Dalton 31. He seemed to have his life very much together as compared to some of the guys she met her own age. However, Nadine and Dalton came from different worlds. When Dalton was a child, men were very domineering over women and when Nadine was a child every woman she ever knew was independent. Their worlds began to collide. Dalton expected Nadine to listen to him and follow his instructions about cooking and keeping the house clean, take his suggestions on how to dress in front of men and most of all how to communicate with him without using slang and curse words. Dalton mentioned to her one day he thought she was rather young and they didn't have many common interests, but there was nothing more said about his statement. He avoided bringing the age difference issue up to her again, because he definitely didn't want to break up with her at least not right then. On the other hand, Nadine wasn't sure she could continue to look at Dalton's receding hairline much longer while he gave her his suggestions about how she should act. She also grew weary of sitting at home watching Dalton's selection of classic movies on weekends. Both of them continued to see one another despite their differences; however, they were considering on breaking up with one another secretly.

Although Nadine's complaints seem trivial, she is use to doing things with people mainly her own age and she socializes with very youthful and attractive people (who haven't lost their hair at least not yet.) On the other hand, Dalton works around many people his own age and doesn't see anything wrong with "teaching" Nadine. Despite their conflict over age differences, they get along at times, but they are silently grappling with the issue.

Before you decide to date, propose, marry or break up with someone much older or younger than you, be sure to write down all of your concerns. Don't just think about how you feel about him or her presently, but how you may feel about them in the future. What is important to you about another person's personality and physical attributes may not be so important to everyone else. The decision you reach should be one you are comfortable with not one someone else tries to convince you to make. Some people may tell you how great it is to date someone older for wisdom, wealth, growth and other reasons that seem logical. However, you may have a problem with the way he or she looks, talks to you or treats you out in public. Others may tell you how wonderful it is to date a younger person, because they don't have as much baggage, they are exciting and youthful, yet you may find their conversations are annoying or discover they are completely the opposite of what you expected. Avoid going into a relationship or continuing one with heavy doubts. If there is a small voice telling you he or she is not the one, listen to it. No matter how reasonable or logical someone's advice may sound, go with what gives you peace of mind.

Being with someone who is older or younger is very similar to dating someone interracially. People will stare and comment. Your own family may be critical and tell you what they think of your mate. You will have to be prepared to stand strong in the face of opposition if you really want your relationship to work. Some ex-spouses will attempt to make life difficult for you (and use the children if you have any.) They may be jealous, angry or even still in love with you depending on how you broke up with them. Know how to handle them, so that your new mate will not feel insecure or want to leave you.

Questions you may have not thought about are as follows. Consider asking yourself the following and acting on your response. It is best to know what you want and how you feel about the relationship before you fall too deeply in love.

Before You First Met

How would you describe your life before meeting this older or younger person? This question is important to answer. For instance, some people who are in their 40s could have recently came out of a relationship with someone who was about the same age and found he or she to be rather boring, tired, miserable, or depressed. As we know the older you get the more likely hormonal changes occur, unexpected aches and pains and other body challenges. Sometimes hormones will motivate desires to have every facet of one's life be changed such as ending a long term marriage, selecting a younger more exciting mate, quitting his or her job and traveling, buying a sports car that one cannot afford, exercising obsessively, dressing younger or taking a deep interest in having a baby or caring for babies. Some people later regret their decisions because they realize a visit to the doctor's office and a prescription could have kept them from making life- altering changes. Maybe the problem wasn't with their previous mate; instead, he or she may have had mental issues.

Another thought you may want to consider, if you are younger, is how was your relationship with your mother and father growing up? Do you find there is a pattern in selecting mates older than you? There are young women who are very much in need of a father figure and will confuse that need with their desire to date an older man. If she had no male influence growing up or her own dad didn't seem interested in relating to her, she may look for qualities in an older man to compensate for what she lacked in childhood. An older man who may be aware of this behavior may want to consider what role he will want to play in her life: good friend, lover, god father, acquaintance or all of the above.

Some older men have desires to have someone care for them particularly if they never had a daughter. There may be a reason why for some of you, you are consistently seeking younger women. Think about your past relationships, did you find yourself tempted to teach, correct and instruct your younger mate? Do you find you can control a younger woman or "get away" with certain things you couldn't with a woman your own age?

When You First Met

This younger or older mate definitely had something about them that drew you to them, what was it? If you find there is nothing more than physical qualities, sex and/or money, then you can be sure the relationship will be challenged. There has to be more than these attributes to make you want to be with him or her. What is it you like or dislike about he or she? What is it that your mate likes or dislikes about you? Will you be able to deal with these differences long term?

Physical Characteristics

As we all know beauty comes and goes, will you still find him or her attractive in the short and long term? What happens when he or she is ill, pregnant or disabled and not looking his or her best? Have you centered the relationship on appearance and showing him or her off to the public for attention? A man or woman with a fifty-year-old body doesn't look like a man or woman with a twenty or thirty-something year old body? Will you be able to handle a body aging? If you are older, are you confident enough in the way you look that you won't give your younger mate a hard time when you see them around people many years younger than you? If you are younger, what are your feelings about gray hair, balding, protruding bellies and varicose veins?

Personality

There will be those moments when you may say something that will reveal your true age. It may be a story about how you grew up, what kind of music you like, how old your parents are or something reminding your mate how old or young you are. How do you feel when you have conversations with your mate and how does he or she make you feel? Do you find him or her uninteresting? Do you feel more comfortable around people who are your own age? How do you think your feelings will affect your relationship in the future? As discussed earlier, hormonal changes will also come to challenge the relationship. For men, will you be able to handle a future pregnant woman's moodswings, menapause, or PMS? As for women will you be able to deal with male mental and physical issues?

Finances

When either a younger or older mate has wealth, he or she may be very generous or protective of it. They may not know what your motives are for being with them. How will you respond to their concerns? Do you have your own personal wealth you can be proud of? Will your mate object if you work, don't work, own your own business or go back to school? Do you expect your mate to assist you? Have you discussed how much you make, what kind of bills you pay and how much they are and if you can afford to help one another? Can you both afford to travel, eat out at restaurants and enjoy other forms of entertainment? All of these questions are important because our interests are a big part of our lives, if you want to do things together, you don't want money to be an issue later in the relationship.

Relatives

Your family will also reveal how old you are as well. Her sister maybe twenty years old and yours may be forty years old. Your mate may not have too much in common with her potential sister-in-laws and vice versa. Don't anticipate the family will love your mate, because they may not. Instead, they will question, "What does this younger woman want with my son? Why is this old man going out with my daughter?" They will discuss motives amongst each other and eventually talk with you as to what they suspect is your mate's reasons for being with you. Don't fall into the temptation to believe what you hear unless there is proof from your mate that tells you otherwise.

Children

If you had children or are thinking about not having any, then your younger mate needs to know this. Don't cover up how you really feel by saying, "Oh maybe one day." The truth will later reveal itself and when it does it won't help your relationship. If you are serious about not wanting children, state the truth. If you have children from a previous relationship, tell your mate. There are consequences whether you tell or don't tell. Avoid hurting your mate anymore than you have to by being honest and allow them the opportunity to make a choice whether to continue a relationship with you. If you would like to have children one day, be sure your mate knows, but don't try to convince him or her she will be a good father or mother, let them think about your plans and reach a decision on their own.

Death

This should concern anyone in any kind of relationship. The day will come where we will all die. Think of the person you are with and include them on your insurance policy. You don't need to tell them what you have done. However, if they choose to be with you for the rest of their lives and you are many years older, you know the days will come when they will most likely have to care for you. Don't leave your mate or children with any financial burdens. Plan how your wealth will be handled once you are gone.

Although the information in this article is very detailed for a relationship that may not have started yet or is just beginning, it has provided you with a glimpse of what you will have to consider in the future. Re-read it. Make your decision to date someone older or younger wisely, not out of lust, selfish gain, curiosity or some other trivial reason.

Should You Date an Older Man or Woman?

Someone who is 10, 15, 20 or even 30 years older than you has expressed romantic interest.  However, lately you have had some mixed feelings about dating them, how do you deal with your doubts and be at peace with your decision to date, stay in the relationship or end it?

Meet Nadine, she was 21 when she met Dalton 31.  He seemed to have his life very much together as compared to some of the guys she met her own age.  However, Nadine and Dalton came from different worlds.  When Dalton was a child, men were very domineering over women and when Nadine was a child every woman she ever knew was independent.  Their worlds began to collide.  Dalton expected Nadine to listen to him and follow his instructions about cooking and keeping the house clean, take his suggestions on how to dress in front of men and most of all how to communicate with him without using slang and curse words.  Dalton mentioned to her one day he thought she was rather young and they didn’t have many common interests, but there was nothing more said about his statement.  He avoided bringing the age difference issue up to her again, because he definitely didn’t want to break up with her at least not right then.  On the other hand, Nadine wasn’t sure she could continue to look at Dalton’s receding hairline much longer while he gave her his suggestions about how she should act.  She also grew weary of sitting at home watching Dalton’s selection of classic movies on weekends.  Both of them continued to see one another despite their differences; however, they were considering on breaking up with one another secretly.

Although Nadine’s complaints seem trivial, she is use to doing things with people mainly her own age and she socializes with very youthful and attractive people (who haven’t lost their hair at least not yet.)  On the other hand, Dalton works around many people his own age and doesn’t see anything wrong with “teaching” Nadine.  Despite their conflict over age differences, they get along at times, but they are silently grappling with the issue.

Before you decide to date, propose, marry or break up with someone much older or younger than you, be sure to write down all of your concerns.  Don’t just think about how you feel about him or her presently, but how you may feel about them in the future.  What is important to you about another person’s personality and physical attributes may not be so important to everyone else.  The decision you reach should be one you are comfortable with not one someone else tries to convince you to make.  Some people may tell you how great it is to date someone older for wisdom, wealth, growth and other reasons that seem logical.  However, you may have a problem with the way he or she looks, talks to you or treats you out in public.  Others may tell you how wonderful it is to date a younger person, because they don’t have as much baggage, they are exciting and youthful, yet you may find their conversations are annoying or discover they are completely the opposite of what you expected.  Avoid going into a relationship or continuing one with heavy doubts.  If there is a small voice telling you he or she is not the one, listen to it.  No matter how reasonable or logical someone’s advice may sound, go with what gives you peace of mind.

Being with someone who is older or younger is very similar to dating someone inter-racially.   People will stare and comment.  Your own family may be critical and tell you what they think of your mate.  You will have to be prepared to stand strong in the face of opposition if you really want your relationship to work.  Some ex-spouses will attempt to make life difficult for you (and use the children if you have any.)  They may be jealous, angry or even still in love with you depending on how you broke up with them.  Know how to handle them, so that your new mate will not feel insecure or want to leave you.

Questions you may have not thought about are as follows.  Consider asking yourself the following and acting on your response.  It is best to know what you want and how you feel about the relationship before you fall too deeply in love. 

Before You First Met

How would you describe your life before meeting this older or younger person?  This question is important to answer.  For instance, some people who are in their 40s could have recently came out of a relationship with someone who was about the same age and found he or she to be rather boring, tired, miserable, or depressed.  As we know the older you get the more likely hormonal changes occur, unexpected aches and pains and other body challenges.   Sometimes hormones will motivate desires to have every facet of one’s life be changed such as ending a long term marriage, selecting a younger more exciting mate, quitting his or her job and traveling, buying a sports car that one cannot afford, exercising obsessively, dressing younger or taking a deep interest in having a baby or caring for babies. Some people later regret their decisions because they realize a visit to the doctor’s office and a prescription could have kept them from making life- altering changes.  Maybe the problem wasn’t with their previous mate; instead, he or she may have had mental issues.

Another thought you may want to consider, if you are younger, is how was your relationship with your mother and father growing up?  Do you find there is a pattern in selecting mates older than you?  There are young women who are very much in need of a father figure and will confuse that need with their desire to date an older man.  If she had no male influence growing up or her own dad didn’t seem interested in relating to her, she may look for qualities in an older man to compensate for what she lacked in childhood.  An older man who may be aware of this behavior may want to consider what role he will want to play in her life:  good friend, lover, god father, acquaintance or all of the above. 

Some older men have desires to have someone care for them particularly if they never had a daughter. There may be a reason why for some of you, you are consistently seeking younger women.  Think about your past relationships, did you find yourself tempted to teach, correct and instruct your younger mate?  Do you find you can control a younger woman or “get away” with certain things you couldn’t with a woman your own age?

When You First Met

This younger or older mate definitely had something about them that drew you to them, what was it?   If you find there is nothing more than physical qualities, sex and/or money, then you can be sure the relationship will be challenged.  There has to be more than these attributes to make you want to be with him or her.  What is it you like or dislike about he or she?  What is it that your mate likes or dislikes about you?  Will you be able to deal with these differences long term?

Physical Characteristics

As we all know beauty comes and goes, will you still find him or her attractive in the short and long term?  What happens when he or she is ill, pregnant or disabled and not looking his or her best?  Have you centered the relationship on appearance and showing him or her off to the public for attention?  A man or woman with a fifty-year-old body doesn’t look like a man or woman with a twenty or thirty-something year old body?  Will you be able to handle a body aging?  If you are older, are you confident enough in the way you look that you won’t give your younger mate a hard time when you see them around people many years younger than you?  If you are younger, what are your feelings about gray hair, balding, protruding bellies and varicose veins? 

Personality

There will be those moments when you may say something that will reveal your true age.  It may be a story about how you grew up, what kind of music you like, how old your parents are or something reminding your mate how old or young you are.  How do you feel when you have conversations with your mate and how does he or she make you feel?  Do you find him or her uninteresting?  Do you feel more comfortable around people who are your own age?  How do you think your feelings will affect your relationship in the future?  As discussed earlier, hormonal changes will also come to challenge the relationship.  For men, will you be able to handle a future pregnant woman’s mood swings, menopause, or PMS?   As for women will you be able to deal with male mental and physical issues?

Finances

When either a younger or older mate has wealth, he or she may be very generous or protective of it.  They may not know what your motives are for being with them.  How will you respond to their concerns?  Do you have your own personal wealth you can be proud of?   Will your mate object if you work, don’t work, own your own business or go back to school?  Do you expect your mate to assist you?  Have you discussed how much you make, what kind of bills you pay and how much they are and if you can afford to help one another?  Can you both afford to travel, eat out at restaurants and enjoy other forms of entertainment?  All of these questions are important because our interests are a big part of our lives, if you want to do things together, you don’t want money to be an issue later in the relationship. 

Relatives

Your family will also reveal how old you are as well.  Her sister maybe twenty years old and yours may be forty years old.  Your mate may not have too much in common with her potential sister-in-laws and vice versa.  Don’t anticipate the family will love your mate, because they may not.  Instead, they will question, “What does this younger woman want with my son?  Why is this old man going out with my daughter?”  They will discuss motives among each other and eventually talk with you as to what they suspect is your mate’s reasons for being with you.  Don’t fall into the temptation to believe what you hear unless there is proof from your mate that tells you otherwise.

Children

If you had children or are thinking about not having any, then your younger mate needs to know this.  Don’t cover up how you really feel by saying, “Oh maybe one day.”  The truth will later reveal itself and when it does it won’t help your relationship.  If you are serious about not wanting children, state the truth.  If you have children from a previous relationship, tell your mate.  There are consequences whether you tell or don’t tell.  Avoid hurting your mate anymore than you have to by being honest and allow them the opportunity to make a choice whether to continue a relationship with you.  If you would like to have children one day, be sure your mate knows, but don’t try to convince him or her she will be a good father or mother, let them think about your plans and reach a decision on their own.  

Death

This should concern anyone in any kind of relationship.  The day will come where we will all die.  Think of the person you are with and include them on your insurance policy.  You don’t need to tell them what you have done.  However, if they choose to be with you for the rest of their lives and you are many years older, you know the days will come when they will most likely have to care for you.  Don’t leave your mate or children with any financial burdens.  Plan how your wealth will be handled once you are gone.

Although the information in this article is very detailed for a relationship that may not have started yet or is just beginning, it has provided you with a glimpse of what you will have to consider in the future.  Re-read it.  Make your decision to date someone older or younger wisely, not out of lust, selfish gain, curiosity or some other trivial reason.

Nicholl McGuire shares insightful wisdom around the web, check out "Messages for the Soul" on YourListen.com

Stay or Breakup - When the Younger or Older Date May Not Want a Relationship Anymore

Age gap dating.  You thought you could stick it out, but he is just too old or she is just too young.  You didn't think much about this before, but now there are things he or she is saying or doing that make you think twice about continuing an age gap relationship.  Chances are your well-meaning relatives warn you of times like these, but you said, "Age ain't nothing but a number." Sure.

To stay or break up?  You probably thought about the following:

1)  If I stay I could remain in what could be a potentially great relationship when I'm older.

2)  If I stay my partner might change into the man or woman of my dreams.

3)  If I stay, he or she might be a great dad or mom to my future offspring.

4)  If I stay, I might be well taken care of and continue to feel safe for a long time with him or her.

5)  If I stay, we might acquire much in our lifetimes and I won't have to worry so much. 

But if I break up...

1)  I will be free to date other men or women closer to my age.

2)  I won't have to be concerned about having children one day.

3)  I won't wrestle so much with feelings related to the age gap any longer.

4)  I won't have to take care of him in the future since it appears his health is declining. 

I won't have to worry that she will run off and be with someone more healthier and fit.

5)  I won't have to keep up with his requests and demands because he assumes I'm younger so I can handle them.

I won't have to keep up with this young woman's requests and demands, because I am too old for this---been there, done that!

These thoughts are just some of many that might go through a woman or man's mind who is contemplating on staying or breaking up.  If an older partner doesn't know or refuses to talk about the issues, the break up is inevitable.  If the younger woman has a nonchalant attitude about these issues when discussed, the mature gentleman will want to break up with her sooner rather than later.  

One will need to look at what is driving the negative thoughts.  Did he or she view media that made him or her think about these things?  Did someone talk to a partner and raise doubts?  Has future plans changed that doesn't include a partner?  Have there been so many disagreements lately that may be causing discord?  Do both people feel like there are not enough things they have in common with one another to sustain the relationship?

Whatever the issues, there is nothing wrong with looking inwardly at what you really want from the relationship.  In any relationship, whether age gap or not, people change.  Some couples grow weary of one another because there was never any solid foundation between the pair from the start.  The older gentleman or younger woman could have been a rebound from a past relationship that left he or she heartbroken.  Therefore, the new partner was a nice distraction from the past pain, but didn't do much more than that emotionally, spiritually, and/or physically.  

The age gap pair could have developed a trauma bound because they had more negative in common than positive when they shared experiences.  They may have been great friends that thought having a sexual relationship would be a good idea only to find out they should have remained platonic friends. 

Decide what it is that you truly want out of your life, before discussing whether you want to stay or break up with a partner.  Ask yourself the following:

1)  Have I begun to work on or accomplish my dreams since being with this person?

2)  Is this person a great support in helping me reach my life goals or does he or she look for ways to talk me out of doing things I thoroughly enjoy?  (If you don't have any goals start writing them.)

3)  By next Valentine's Day, what did we accomplish together that bettered our relationship?

4)  When this person comes around me or when they call me, do I feel content to hear his or her voice or does this person simply annoy me and I can't wait to get away from her or him?

5)  Can I honestly say that I love this person not just what they do for me or the kind words they say to me?

6)  Do I feel proud being out in public with this person or do I look for ways to avoid inviting this person to go out with me? 

7)  Can I see myself with this person 5, 10, or even 15 plus years from now?  Why or why not?

If you answered most of these questions with negative responses and you really have no desire to do anything different, it is safe to say that maybe this person isn't right for you regardless of his or her age.  

Whenever positives outweigh the negatives in any relationship and there is no way of resolving them, this is when the hard decisions will need to be made.  Two people must be willing to work together on the issues rather than frequently arguing about them. 

Think about this, if you honestly believe your relationship is a dead-end headed nowhere, why continue to be unavailable to that one person (somewhere in this world) who really wants to be with you while being available to that one person who doesn't complete you and appears to care less about you?

Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues.

Whose Whispering in His Ear, Her Ear?

A younger woman and an older man in a dating relationship is often critiqued by those who think he is too old and she is too young.  The critic doing the questioning is often jealous or has been hurt in the past having been in a similar relationship.

The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure.  He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner.  The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions.  Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.

The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative.  She becomes easily irritated with him.  He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him.  Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship.  She thinks, "It's him."  He thinks, "It's her."  No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well.  "Why do I feel this way?"  The couple should ask.  "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time?  Who have I been talking and listening to?"

The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better!  Consider the source.  When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?"  Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business?  After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business.  You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc.  If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail.  Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.

Effect of Younger Women on Older Men For Rejuvenation

Aging is an inevitable phenomenon. But as man gets older he can retain his youthful vigor by acts that can be considered unorthodox. One of these recipes is a sexual relationship with a younger woman. The ancient Indian manuals as well as the Arabic manuals all bring out the fact that an older man copulating with a younger woman is a form of rejuvenation for the man. The ancient oriental sex manuals have accepted this as a truth.

One can argue about the veracity of the recipe recommended by the eastern manuals, but the western world has only now accepted this though with some reservations. This acceptance has come about because this is a subject of study in the west. In the United States this aspect has been studied by some scientists. Scholars at Stanford and the University of California-Santa Barbara have carried out research on this aspect of a man's sexual relationship with a younger woman. The study at the beginning of the twenty first century has made some revelations that have been known to the oriental for many hundreds of years. The study concluded that an older man who had a sexual relationship with a younger woman tended to live longer.

On the face of it a lot many rationalists and a lot of women as well are apt to negate this study. But there is no doubt that a relationship with a younger woman for a male does have a beneficial effect on him. It affects the physiology of the male. The male feels younger and has an intense desire to please his younger partner. This desire allows a male to do certain acts that will give his sex an impetus as well as please his younger partner. The Max Plank institute in Germany carried out a study on this aspect as well. Scientists there concluded that man tended to live longer if took as his sexual mate a woman who preferably was about 15 to 17 younger than him. Statistics are always difficult to digest but scientists at the institute feel that longevity of the male could go up by as much as 20%.Ancient sex manuals also say the same thing.

For a lot many people it is difficult to accept this. But there every day sex with a younger woman may make the man live longer. This is because the sex act by itself is a therapy. The effect on the man and his physiology is beneficial as it gives a purpose to a man in his life. He will exercise and keep himself fit as a desire to please his partner becomes a tremendous motivating force for him.

In the everyday world it is very difficult to start a relationship between older men and much younger women. There are very limited ways for this though a relationship in the office with an older boss or colleague is an accepted norm. But now with the advent of the internet the chance to start a relationship are greatly increased. People seem less likely to be concerned about the age difference on the net and love could blossom.

A younger woman will always make her partner feel younger. During the relationship or marriage the man will strive to please his partner leading to very beneficial results for him. A younger woman will help a man to stay in the same sexual level even with passage of a year or so.

Men, who have sex daily, especially with younger women, are more likely to live longer. A study in Denmark from 1990 to 2005 has concluded that higher life expectancy of the male could be because of younger women caring for their men. Obviously one may well ask as to what is there in such a relationship for a woman. For a younger woman it can be a very exciting surprise whose only sexual experience may have been only with men of her age. Women often complain that their need for foreplay is much more and a lot men do not get it. This is a plus point as an older man will take time to rouse himself and in the process he could spend a long time to raise the pitch of his younger partner. The result can only be beneficial. In addition older men are able to have more control over the physical and mental state of the woman and obviously more knowledge of what gives the greater pleasure to his younger partner.

The ancient sex manuals of the orient have given a lot of theory and to put it to practical use it is up to the man.

By Madan G Singh

Exploring Age Gap Relationships: Tips for Older Men Dating Younger Women

Dating can be complex, but age-gap relationships bring their own unique set of challenges and rewards. For older men looking to date younger women, navigating this dynamic requires thoughtful consideration and genuine connection. Here are some valuable tips to help you build a successful relationship while being mindful of the nuances involved.

1. Embrace Open Communication

Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship, especially in age-gap dynamics. Discuss your expectations, desires, and concerns openly. This ensures both partners feel heard and valued, helping to build a strong foundation of trust.

2. Be Mindful of Life Stages

Recognize that you and your partner may be at different life stages. Younger women might be exploring careers, education, or personal growth, while older men may have established their paths. Understanding these differences can help you support each other’s goals and aspirations.

3. Cultivate Shared Interests

Finding common ground is essential for any relationship. Engage in activities that interest both of you, whether it’s traveling, trying new restaurants, or enjoying cultural experiences. Shared activities can strengthen your bond and create lasting memories.

4. Respect Each Other’s Independence

While it’s important to spend quality time together, respecting each other’s independence is equally vital. Allow your partner the space to maintain friendships and pursue personal interests. This balance fosters a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

5. Address Societal Perceptions

Age-gap relationships can sometimes face scrutiny from friends and family. Be prepared for potential judgments and have open discussions about how to navigate these challenges together. Supporting each other through societal perceptions can strengthen your partnership.

6. Focus on Emotional Connection

While physical attraction is often a key factor in any romance, a deep emotional connection is what sustains a relationship. Invest time in getting to know each other’s thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. This emotional intimacy creates a more profound bond that transcends age.

7. Stay Informed and Educated

Educate yourself about the potential challenges of dating someone significantly younger. Understanding the dynamics can help you navigate your relationship more effectively and prevent misunderstandings.

8. Seek Professional Guidance When Needed

If you encounter serious issues that challenge your relationship, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. While this blog offers general advice, it’s important to consult with a licensed therapist or counselor for personalized guidance. Remember, this blog is not intended for individuals under the age of 18.

Conclusion

Dating across generations can be a rewarding experience filled with personal growth and connection. By embracing open communication, respecting independence, and fostering emotional intimacy, older men can successfully navigate the complexities of dating younger women. Always remember that seeking professional advice is a wise step when facing serious relationship challenges.

Embrace the journey, and enjoy the unique experiences that come with your age-gap relationship!

The Age Gap Relationships Team

Tips For Dating Older Men - Issues That Can Harm Your Relationship

Are you in a relationship with someone older than yourself or contemplating starting one? If you are, then there are some tips for dating older men that you should keep in mind. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to older guys, but there are some issues that you should be aware of so that they don't affect your relationship.

If you're sensitive to criticism or negative remarks from others, then developing a thick skin is one of the best tips for dating older men. Your friends and family might not be thrilled with your choice. They might try to talk you out of continuing the relationship or persuade you not to pursue one in the first place. They can give you all the well-meaning advice they want, but ultimately, this is your life and your decision to make. Don't let these comments get to you or interfere with your relationship. Have confidence in yourself and the choices you make, so that you can enjoy your life.

If your older man has children, this could present an awkward situation for you. If his children are close to your age, they might not appreciate your presence or they might feel threatened by it. Since you're all adults, you should be able to talk these things through in a mature manner. You shouldn't have to put up with any rudeness on their part. Be open to discussion in order to clear the air. Letting hostility or resentment build up can cause some serious damage to your relationship. You don't want your man to feel that he has to choose between you or his children.

Among all the helpful tips for dating older men that you'll find, learning how to compromise is one of the most effective for maintaining a strong relationship. Although you might share a lot in common, be prepared to make some serious changes to your lifestyle when it comes to how you spend time together. He might not have the energy to keep up with a hectic dating schedule, and you might find yourself feeling bored with some of the places he takes you to. This is where compromise comes in handy. You can take turns figuring out when and where you would like to spend time together so that you can both enjoy each other's company without getting frustrated.

There are several other tips for dating older men or to attracting them in the first place, that will also help you enjoy a strong, healthy relationship. Being aware of these is essential in order to avoid problems that could arise. Remember that this is your life and you have the right to make your own decisions, but also remember that there are certain issues associated with the choices you make that could interfere with your happiness.

Need some more advice on maintaining a healthy relationship? These tips for dating older men or attracting them in the first place are important to know so that you can both be happy and stay that way for a long time! http://www.relationshipguide.org/howtoattractmen

By Anna M Jones

What Some People Say About Men with Younger Women

You don’t mean to stare at the unusual pair walking by, but you do.  Yet, when you are the one in a peculiar relationship, you are wondering, “Why does it seem like everyone is looking at my date and I?”  Then you think, “What could they be thinking?”  Sometimes people aren’t really concerned about what others are doing.  But there are those, who love to people watch and they are thinking the ever-popular question, “What is she doing with him?” among other things.

“She is only with him for the money.”

You knew this statement was coming and if you are the one with the money you might be thinking, “Well is she?”  Discuss the issue amongst yourselves, but definitely don’t allow others to talk about it with you.  Most often people who are already receiving money from the mature partner will raise the red flag on the relationship, because they fear that they will no longer receive any money now that the mature partner is seeing this younger woman.

“He is too old to be dating someone her age – he’s robbing the cradle.”

Is he really too old or is she too young?  Well to some people maybe this comment is cause for concern, especially if someone skipped out on their marriage, dating a child etc. but if none of which applies to your relationship, why bother responding?

“What do her parents think about her dating someone much older?”

This may be a concern for a few due to personal reasons or because they are concerned the younger partner might not be legal age.  But does it really matter?

“I wouldn’t date someone my son or daughter’s age and definitely not my dad’s.”

As we all know who we choose to date is our personal business.  However, some critics can’t help but comment because they know they don’t have the courage or interest in dating someone younger or older.  Responding to a comment like this is a waste of time.  If you do, you will look immature and the naysayer just might feel good watching you react negatively.  Just ignore this person or better yet get it understood early on, especially if this person is a relative, to exercise a little self-control over their tongue if he or she wants to keep you in his or her life.  

“She must not have a close relationship with her father.”

Some people assume the worse, because they have heard of stories where young women have specifically dated older men because their own fathers didn’t meet their needs.  Maybe this happens for many younger women dating older men, but not all.  If you are a younger woman who doesn’t have a close relationship with your dad and you feel that it is affecting your relationship with your partner, maybe you might want to consider independent counseling, reconnecting with your father if you can, or sitting down with someone who knows him well to get answers to unresolved issues.  If you are the mature partner, you may want to watch for signs that she is in fact using you to fill a role in her life that wasn’t met by her dad.  If so, then you may want to discuss your concerns.

“He is going through a mid-life crisis (andropause) that’s why he is with her.”

Dating younger women is something that many men who have severe symptoms of andropause do, but once again there are exceptions to the rule.  A younger woman will want to observe her mate and watch for signs if she suspects that possibly she is one of many of her older partner’s andropause symptoms. 

“Why do older men always go after younger women?”

This statement is usually said by women who feel insecure, jealous and angered about past issues.  Others are simply curious.  When some younger women hear a comment like this, it might work for or against her self-esteem depending on how committed she is to the relationship.  She may ask the same thing of the older man or wonder what he sees in her.  Her partner will have to say the kind of things to keep her interested and secure in the relationship. 

“I was never interested in dating men my dad’s age or older, that’s crazy!”

Younger people can sometimes be the harshest critics of a relationship between a younger woman and an older man.  Oftentimes those who say this are still very immature, so they couldn’t fathom the thought.  If this comment is stated enough by friends, it might cause a younger woman, who isn’t so sure about dating an older man, to want to break up.

“He probably left his wife and children to be with her.  He will probably go back to the wife once he gets tired of her.”

This comment can really hurt a younger woman’s feelings particularly if she is head over heels in love with her mature mate.  So when she hears this, she might start to wonder if in fact he would get back with an ex.  Hopefully, the man isn’t married, but if he is, you might want to cut your losses early.

A Desire to Meet the Needs of the Little Girl/ Little Boy Within

Some mature older men don’t know what they are getting themselves into when choosing to date someone 10 plus years younger. He doesn’t realize that there are many young women in this world with little girls inside of them that need their father’s attention. No matter what he does, the mature, older man cannot fill the void. The little girl within desires a father figure, someone who can tend to her needs, but her father failed her during childhood when he gave her no attention, affection or communication. Dad left his little girl out in the cold with a desire to be loved and deemed worthy in someone's eyes.

An often busy father, who is emotionally unavailable and who doesn’t bother to figure out his own issues in life, recreates another unhappy mini-me. Most likely, his own father wasn’t there for him, so somehow in his mind he reasons, “It’s okay;” therefore, he repeats the cycle. No communication plus no affection equals no relationship--it’s just that simple! Children need the attention and affection of both parents. Otherwise, they go through life seeking fulfillment in things like: sex, a baby, a partner, religion or something else. A child turned adult who still desires a relationship with a certain parent tends to make unwise decisions centered on those unfulfilled needs. In time,  he or she is abusing substances to fill the void while having many regrets.

An older man dating a younger woman is not expected to be everything to a younger woman and shouldn’t put himself in that position either. Some older men falsely assume that if they give their younger partners everything they want that the relationship will be okay. Unfortunately, things without human affection and communication do nothing more than impede progress. Rather than focusing on two human beings building a relationship together, the couple are talking or arguing about selfish needs and wants, “I need for you to be...I want you to do...Why can't I get you to see...?”

An older man must recognize the needs of a younger woman, but at the same time refrain from being a father figure to her. Even if she says, “You act like my dad…” be sure that you are not purposely performing like her dad, because you might believe you are helping out the little girl within. The little girl remains inside the younger woman as long as she continues to nurture her and give her everything that she never had; however, that little girl can also turn into a spoiled girl who lacks self-control, discipline, and just might cause a firestorm of problems in the relationship if left un-checked.

The younger woman has to come to a point in her life to let the little girl go. She will be much happier if she doesn’t keep reliving the past through people, places and things. She may even have to go so far as to make peace with the fact that her father is not ever going to look at the mistakes he has made over the years, make peace with her, and do what’s right for the remaining part of his life. It’s unfortunate, but some men will never change no matter how much you do or not do for them.

An older man must be wise when relating to the fatherless younger woman and not only listen, but address his younger partner’s concerns while reminding her, “I’m not your dad. I love you and will do the best I can to help you, but remember I am not your dad.”

There are some older men that have many issues that they are grappling with because they too have a little person within who desires a mother or father’s attention. Some mature men have a history of dating older women because they wanted a mother figure, because they lacked a relationship with their own mothers. Some date younger because they want to do all the things they didn’t get to do when they were in their youth. These men falsely assume that tapping into the fountain of youth, so to speak, will make them feel good about living. They learn quickly that no matter who they date, young or old, rich or poor, no one can give the little boy within them peace. They too must learn to let go of their boyish desires and focus on being the man that they were destined to be.

Letting go of the little girl or little boy within us is something that most people who become adults don’t realize they are feeding until they go through a series of relationship trials. Eventually those, who have learned the hard way, reach a conclusion that something within them is very much wrong. The little person inside could be any of the following: often dissatisfied in personal and professional relationships, emotionally detached, angry, bitter, jealous, or having some other emotional issue. If anyone of these issues describe you, you might want to start a process of cleansing one’s closet of emotions beginning with taking down all those childhood things that you might have displayed around your room, office and elsewhere. Reminding yourself daily about your childhood will not help you grow; rather, you will find that you are not permitting yourself to mature because you fear you might lose something if you should let go of your little person within. There is no guarantee that you will start to feel okay as you embark on this journey to free yourself childhood woes, but it is a start.

You and that one you are with will also have to stop looking back. For example, your young partner might think that going back home to mom and dad will bring peace when times are rough, but most often it doesn’t; rather the young woman only feeds the little girl she is supposed to be ridding herself of. It is rare that people change. Rather than experiencing true freedom, the young woman finds herself opening up old wounds the longer she stays with parents. If you no longer have your parents, but inherited a host of emotional issues, you might consider letting go of relics, keepsakes and other mementos that are not aiding you emotionally or physically. Sometimes things we hold on to of others only set us back. Somehow we feel like we must take responsibility for all that comes with those things.

If you have a faith, you know you are called to be free not to be burdened by others’ issues. So if a person, place or thing doesn’t help you, say goodbye. Another thing you or your loved one might want to consider is limiting phone calls when it comes to connecting with those who have hurt you in the past and have no interest in changing either ie.) parents, relatives and childhood friends. Those who are closest to you can hinder you emotionally, spiritually etc. and eventually impact your relationship negatively. It is very hard to let go of that little person within if you keep permitting her or him to call a critical relative or friend every time an issue comes up in your relationship, at work, church, or elsewhere. Is it really necessary to get parents involved? Does your sibling really care about who you are with and whether you two make it?

Finally, think about all those things that you wear, say, and do that have a direct connection to childhood. From gaming devices to dolls, the more you collect, whether for yourself or through a child, the more you keep the little girl and boy within alive. When childhood desires affect your well-being, your personal relationships, and other important areas of your life, you have to say, “I love you little girl/boy inside of me, but it is time for us to part our ways. I give you to the Almighty Creator and in his arms you will be safe.” Visualize a picture of yourself from childhood being placed in the arms of your creator and he/she ascending to heaven. At first, your little person within will be happy to be free from miserable you, but he/she might find a way to come back if you continue to do the things that keep him/her close to you.

To some, you might find the little girl or little boy concept a bit strange, but I can assure you that it is what affects many relationships and prevents them from growing. Who wants to be with a grown man who has boyish issues or who wants to be with a grown woman who still has little girl daddy woes? Start the journey and let the little people within go so that you can have a healthy, functional relationship!

Nicholl McGuire recorded her thoughts on the Sugar Baby, Sugar Daddy relationship and shares insight here.

Thoughts on Leaving Older Partner to Date Younger

He made a decision to leave his older partner, because he no longer found the relationship interesting anymore.  She chose to leave her older mate, due to the age gap that started to affect things like: romance, conversation, and the way she saw herself.  Both left older to date younger in the hope to find someone more compatible, more affection, energetic, and more.  Of course, there are pros and cons to doing this, lets review some of them.

Dull Romances

We can't avoid those periods in our relationships where everything starts to become a bit mundane and routine.  Unless one is working an interesting job, have a great network of people that keep him or her excited, and money to spend to visit fun places at will (along with the desire to do it), the person seeking to leave his or her older partner just might be as boring as them, but just doesn't realize it yet.  Running into the arms of someone more interesting is just a temporary pick-me-up, but sooner or later you will begin to notice that the same things you didn't want in the last relationship are going to start to show up in the new one.

Health Concerns

Unfortunately, some couples just can't make it, because one or both can't handle health issues.  From andropause to menopause woes, if a lover didn't have the patience to contend with those health challenges with his or her last partner, what makes this person think that everything will be just fine with someone younger?  Most young women can still bear children which will affect the body in time especially when she starts having that need to want to become pregnant.  Many take birth control which has been known to fluctuate mood, weight, and more.  So for the older man who thinks he can do better by getting someone younger while leaving an older partner and possibly children behind, he just might inherit a few new problems that he might not be ready for like a future offspring affecting his mood and weight.  Also, take into consideration the many people who are walking this earth with an incurable sexual disease, mental disorders, criminal records and other issues brought on by wreckless behaviors, bad parenting, peer influences, etc.  Know what you are getting into beyond the nice smile, sexy body and whatever else you are looking for.

Relatives and Friends

No matter who one dates, there will always be certain relatives and friends that may be very important in his or her life that the one dating younger won't necessarily like or agree with.  Criticism comes and goes from loved ones when starting any new relationship.  But if this is one reason why you just can't stand being with your older ex, it's not a very good one especially if you still have to deal with a few relatives because of children.  Besides, you just might find that your younger mate's relatives and friends won't be any easier on you particularly if there is a significant age difference between you and younger mate.

Money

A young woman who leaves a relatively stable relationship just because she feels like her older man just isn't doing it for her, might regret her decision later.  If age is the only factor that bothers her, nowadays there are plenty of things men can take and do to better their lifestyles.  But leaving an older man solely for the beauty of a younger man is foolish and unwise.  Money may not be a factor in the relationship, but then it might be.  Some younger women stay because of money while others leave because there is no assistance for what they have to put up with concerning an older man (ie. aging process, children with an ex, long work hours, etc.) so they go back to dating younger.  However, young men, who aren't necessarily ready for a committed relationship, but think they are, have been known to be unfaithful, immature, and unreliable in serious relationships.  Also, consider many who are irresponsible with their finances and selfish.  But for those young men who aren't, the young woman just might find a treasure in more ways than one.  For older men, who believe that a younger woman can complete him, know that most young women aren't established and don't have the wealth that he who has had decades to build.  An older mate will find that at some point in the relationship his younger partner will need his financial assistance, so if he isn't the generous type, there will be issues.

These are just some of the many things one who is interested in leaving an older partner for a younger mate might run into.  For some readers, this piece might have discouraged and if so, most likely you still love and respect your older mate.  But for others, you may still want to leave your mate for any and all reasons, just keep in mind that those "in love" feelings with a new someone are temporary and they are not what builds a healthy long-lasting relationship, but you know that already.  To your success!

Nicholl McGuire is the blogger for this blog.  Check out others: Things to Do Bored and Parents, Babies, Children

Your Issues, His Issues and Now Our Issues

So you thought you could be everything to him or her.  You bought this person nice things.  You made time to go with him or her here and there.  You really thought you met your match, that is until you started looking more closely at this person you slept with the other night.  "She is a bit off," you think.  "He seems to be a bit slow," she thinks.  Whatever you noticed about this person, it has put a damper on your relationship.  Now you hope that this person will do something that will make you fall back in lust (or love) with him or her-- good luck.

Once truth reveals itself in people, it becomes hard to get the fantasy back.  You want that person to be that special someone you met over and over again.  Immature people think in this way.  People desperate for someone to come rescue them from their past also think like this.  Before you know it, you got someone yelling, "Why can't I find the right someone!"  Could it be, that you want your dates to fulfill a dream rather than a reality?

You have your issues when you came into the relationship that most likely you wanted your date to overlook.  Then there was the issues.  Your date had some and you had your share.  Then there were those issues you had together.  With all of these "issues" also known as relationship challenges, it isn't any wonder that this romance started quickly and then ended just as quickly. 

If there is no room in the relationship to just grow freely of the complications of an ex, the baby, the money, the relatives, the friends, an abusive childhood, etc. then yes a beautiful fantasy dies and it may never come back.  You should never think a person is going to be your cure all!

For many people, they know, starting this year, it is time to bury the fantasy and welcome reality.  They must want to do the things that are right for self and the relationship.  But where to start?  A change of mindset, a reality check!  Look at the things in the relationship that is causing it to become unbalanced, miserable, and something you no longer want.  If you allow a relationship to grow in a setting free of outside influence, criticism and unresolved issues of the past, how beautiful it can be!  Keep in mind, it takes work, lots of it.  But if you are in love, and not in lust, it will go the distance.

Nicholl McGuire

What Does Age Have to Do With It?

So many looks, comments, eye rolls, and more just because someone decides to date younger, a different ethnicity, religion, or income bracket (sigh).  When will people learn that there is more to life than their personal experiences?  When will people understand that not everyone desires "to stick with their own kind."  Most people who have all sorts of hang ups with what others are doing intimately unfortunately don't have a satisfying life.  They are either secretly jealous because they can't be with someone that looks even half as fine as the person you are with.  They are bitter because they have to work long hours while their mate doesn't bother to do much in the area of finances.  The reasons are simply endless as to why people, who are typically bored in their own relationships, feel the need to want to negatively contribute to the lives of others.  So how do you keep your head above water so that you are not that one who is alone, jealous, and simply mad that you messed up a good thing because you took advice from a negative individual?

One.  Avoid getting mixed up with narrow-minded people who have a twisted mentality when it comes to love, dating, etc.  It doesn't matter whether this person is your mother or your best friend, don't listen to someone who cares more about voicing his or her out-dated, ignorant opinions than your personal happiness.  The strongest relationships survive because they keep busybodies out!

Two.  Don't take yourself, faith, political view, children, job, or anything else so seriously to the point that you miss out on cultivating a great relationship with your partner.  If your children, your job and everything else mean the world to you, then you need not look to be in a relationship for long.  Intimate relationships thrive on attention and when a partner sees that everyone and everything else is more important, he or she will start thinking about the grass being greener on the other side.  It doesn't matter how young, cute, physically fit, or how much money you have, if you don't have time to emotionally and physically connect with your partner then you don't have time for a relationship.

Three.  Bring more than meets the eye to your relationship.  There are plenty of people in this world that have flashy, nice, sexy, good, exciting things that they care for, drive, build, and do much with, but after awhile things get old.  Look beyond what you see.  Is there a man or woman in front of you that has more going on besides what they wear and what they do?  Part of being in a relationship is discovering the wonderful truths about a person along with how might you be able to help your loved one with the not-so nice stuff. 

In closing, do think about the things that make you want to be with your mate beyond this year--that's right plan for the future.  What kind of person is this that is worth your time and affection?  Are your feelings being reciprocated?  Is there someone else who you think would be a better match?  Why are you in a relationship with this person?  When you can answer questions like this and more, then you know you are on a path toward a committed, serious relationship.  But if you  find yourself turned off with questions like these or avoid them, then you are not ready to settle down.  It would be best to communicate your feelings to your partner only if you believe your mate is hoping for something more with you.  But if you aren't completely sure about your feelings, don't say anything until you are prepared for the consequences--good or bad.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

You Are What You Create: When the Older Man and Younger Woman Collide

How you begin a relationship sets the foundation for many things more to come.  There are mature men who don't mind spending wads of cash on their younger companions from the start of the relationship, but there are those men who hold on to their money as if they fear spending it.  Then you have those men in between who know how to balance their wealth and spread it around such as: save, invest, donate, and so on.  When you are in a relationship with any woman, whether young or old, you have to take a good long look at yourself.  When things start to go wrong, you have to admit that somewhere down the line you presented yourself one way and your date saw you in a totally different way.  Whether you were clear about your intentions, habits, beliefs and other things, evidently you didn't make your point crystal clear--now the drama begins.

Some men disguise themselves as being the playful, outgoing and talkative types with younger women, at least in the beginning of the relationship; however, in time, they begin to get comfortable, too comfortable.  The same is true for younger women too.  Rather than seeing his younger partner as different than he and vice versa while trying to adjust, he hopes that she will act more like him--laid back, a home body, and whatever else he truly sees himself to be.

Younger, active women have a hard time with older men who don't have much going on outside their jobs and television screens.  If a mature date presented himself not to be the couch potato type early on, then that is what she expects to see, a man who is doing more outside or around the home besides sitting, eating and sleeping.  When the truth comes out about some older men's intentions, habits, and more, he becomes irritable, disappointed, and somehow blames his partner for the false impression he gave her from the start.  "I don't like going places...I don't like seeing shows...I prefer to stay home...I never said I liked that..." the once handsome, active older man who presented himself as such, behind the scenes, is nothing more than a grumpy old man.  Now the relationship takes an ugly turn, "Well, if I would have known this is how you truly are...I would have..." the younger woman complains.  "I thought you knew I was this way!" he retorts.

Age differences play a part in a May-December relationship.  There are those older men who prefer to go to bed early, while others stay up late into the night while nodding on and off in front of TV or computer screens.  There are younger women who do the same.  But if no one shows his or her true colors from the start, then you don't know what you might get later on down the road.

You are what you create.  If you don't want a gold digger, then don't spend money like your younger date is one.  If you don't want a lazy older man, then don't do everything for him.  You get the point?  So do take a good, long look at what you have done so far that caused unnecessary drama in your relationship and work to change it before someone threatens to break up--that is if that hasn't happened already (sigh).

Nicholl McGuire

Immature + Mature = More Relationship Problems

A dating relationship between older and younger, rich and poor, even handicap and well can work, but immature and mature? Nope.  A mature man dating an immature woman will not last if the immature woman doesn't ever grow up.  The immature older man and the mature younger woman dating relationship won't work either.  Common sense shows that when one is dating anyone incompatible with he or she, it is only a matter of time that if one person doesn't conform to be more compatible, the dating relationship won't work in the long term.  This would explain why some intelligent folks dating the immature might compromise normal behavior for abnormal or why some unintelligent folks might start "acting" more mature.  If you want your relationship to last, you have to make some changes whether they be right or worse, wrong for you.  That's right I said wrong, because some people are more concerned about wanting someone to like them; rather than questioning whether certain behaviors are just wrong.  They are willing to conform to just about anything just to keep that man or woman that they are benefiting from which is so wrong!  If you start doing some things in the relationship that you know aren't right for you, beware, it is only a matter of time that you will grow weary of trying to "fit in" just to stick it out with someone especially if this person is the immature one.

Most people as you know, don't like change.  So the older you are, the least likely you will want to change.  For instance, a silly, immature young woman will see a more serious, older man as boring when she is still interested in going out with her friends and partying.  A silly, immature older man may consider a mature younger woman as an "old soul" and feel like he could have dated someone his own age since this younger woman acting older doesn't represent his idea of what a fountain of youth may look or act like--something he might have been craving.

There are many logical as well as illogical reasons as to why someone would be looking to date someone older or younger, but if you are going to enter into this kind of dating relationship, you have to pick someone that is compatible with you whether you consider yourself to be mature or immature.  Trying to find someone who is on your level of maturity, may be difficult, because sometimes dates will manipulate who they really are at least until you get to know them better. 

You may want to ask what your closest friends think of your level of maturity.  Sometimes we may think one thing, but the world sees someone totally different.  Not being honest with yourself about your level of maturity will make it even more challenging to find someone compatible.  Some people think because they are a certain age they are considered mature, but not so fast!  There are many older men who act immature and many younger women who are surprisingly mature.  When the two meet one another, at first, it seems like they may have a lot in common, but then in time, the two will find that one is really not who he or she claims to be.

What the younger woman may have thought was a mature man seated in front of her, turns out to be a little boy looking for some motherly attention and what the mature man thought was this young, free spirit, is really a full grown woman looking for a man to love and care for her in a future marriage.  If you look beyond the surface when choosing a date and pay close attention to the mannerisms and thoughts being conveyed to you by your date, you will find yourself getting a good look at what the future might hold with this person whether he or she is straightforward with you or not.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate