Young Woman: Think Before You Have Children with an Older Man

Not everyone who has children with an older partner is getting along well and the children are happy and healthy.  There are some things that you already know when it comes to having a baby with an older guy and then there are those unexpected issues that you least expect.

1.  The baby might have some health ailments.

It is inevitable, but some children do have their share of developmental problems because one or both parents are older.  Do your research before you start planning to have a baby with someone over a decade older than you.  Know what the risks are and find out what you can do to help alleviate some of the issues.

2.  The sex will not remain the same as it was when you first started dating.

For many starry-eyed couples, they have a false belief that everything will just continue to be sexy and fun for always.  They will talk of taking medicines to keep their sex lives active and come up with creative ways to enjoy love-making.  However, as you age, so does your mind and body.  There will be days even weeks, irregardless of your age, you just don't feel like it.  So add demanding newborns, whiny toddlers and rebellious teens to the mix and the gap widens since the last time you had sex.

3.  Sometimes impatience, moodiness, and tiredness will affect dreams of the happy family life.

If you thought that having a baby with your mature beau would bring you closer, think again.  Men and women who have had children already or just beginning to think about having them as mature adults, have a good idea what to expect.  Now how they endure through the whole child-rearing process is left up to speculation.  Some couples actually break up because they just can't handle themselves and their needy children.  The aging process isn't easy for some.  If one isn't happy within, he isn't going to give his all to yet another relationship and possibly more children--some divorced men have been there and done that and really don't want to do it again.  Young lady, do more watching what your older guy friend does and less listening to his charming speech about how you will make a great mom.  Will he really make a great dad?

4.  How old will you be and how old will he be when the child is in high school, college, etc.?

This question will pop up in your mind as you look at those around you who appear to be more active with their children while your partner not so much.  You will think of this question as your mate grows older.  You will start to wonder if he will be alive to see the children graduate, get married and have children of their own.

5.  The children will notice that dad is an old man.

As much as you say, "Age is nothing but a number" to yourself, the children will clearly see that their father isn't like you and those young dads they see.  They will ask questions, "Why can't dad do this...Why can't our father go there...Why is he always tired?  Why doesn't he do things like the other dads?"  Make all the excuses you want, the reality is he is older and you will most likely be the one running the children around to school activities, entertaining events, and more.

So just ponder deeply whether having a baby with an older man is really what you want to do.

Nicholl McGuire provides spiritual commentary on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

6 Tips on Detecting a Stupid Older Man - He Exists and Will Drive You Crazy

I know some niave, gullible, young women just don't want to believe that they could ever land a downright unintelligent, older man for a date.  But it happens and you best be watchful when it comes to some of these stupid so-called mature men.

1.  He claims he knows things that he really doesn't.

Quiz him on some things about life.  Listen to his answers.  Is he trying to impress you with ignorant slang?  Is he giving you complete answers?  Are you at a lost when trying to follow his conversation? Does he even know what he is talking about?

2.  He doesn't have much conversation and when he talks you almost want to laugh.

"Is that really all he has for me?" you think.  "I can't believe he asked me that question, is he stupid?"

3.  When you speak, he is looking all around, over your shoulder, or staring at you like some Weirdo?

You know you are attractive and intelligent.  Apparently, he not only can't make any healthy eye contact, but is he really listening to what you are saying?  Something is happening in that mind up there (sigh).

4.  He takes far too long to respond to your questions.  Deep thinking unnecessary.

Simple questions, simple answers.  So why does he take so long to answer?  How much time do you need to think about whether you like sprinkled cheese on pasta or not?  How long does it take to get one's mind started up to make conversation?

5.  He jokes and laughs way too much and nothing he or you says is really that funny.

"Okay, dude are you a retard?"

6.  He has nothing to show for all his hard work in life.

It isn't any wonder this guy is divorced twice, owns no property (his wives do), he wears tacky clothes, drives a beat up car (his wives have luxury automobiles), he rarely sees his children (wives don't trust him), etc.  Could it be that his past partners discovered he was stupid about women, money, chidlren, and men's fashion and kicked him to the curb?

So stupid is as stupid does.  When a man has a long pattern of making dumb life decisions, it is safe to say that he is a bit slow.  You will need to ask yourself, "Am I patient enough to deal with all the stupid stuff he will do if I continue to date him?"

There are many reasons why women his own age don't bother with them.  Young women sometimes ignore obvious red alert signs when it comes to dating; instead, they hope for the best.  This is a stupid move.  Check yourself on your intelligence level.  When you start seeing signs of stupidity, don't shake them off or reason them away.  Keep your eyes open for someone intelligent like you. Ponder this, that older man might be the father of your children one day.  Do you really want your children to perform badly in life?  

Nicholl McGuire

When You Discover a Date Has a Girlfriend

The news can be disheartening; a man you like has a girlfriend. The heart aches; the breathing is heavy, and the desire to pay this man back for lying to you increases with each passing moment. But before one plans her next strategy, be grateful that you know. Now is the time to start thinking about what you can do to make yourself feel at peace once again.

First, take a moment to undo everything in your mind you thought you knew about the person you have been dating. He obviously liked you a lot because he lied about having a girlfriend. But that doesn’t mean, that he is still an honest, kind, sweetheart of a man. Instead, you have discovered he is a liar, not as nice as you originally thought and is selfish. The likelihood that he is going to treat you like he did his girlfriend in the future is probable. Once the newness of the relationship wears off with you, he will be out pretending to be single with someone else.

Second, confront this man on his lies, but not in a way that shows him you still care about him. You will need to cry your eyes out privately, have your grieving moment out of the way, before you get to the point that you can give him a cold stare and speak your truth. So what might you say? Express your feelings and tell him what you want to do i.e.) break up, date others, move on with your life, etc.

Third, make no apologies and keep feelings of guilt far away. It isn’t necessary to apologize for any emotional outburst, cursing, or anything else—you are angry and you have every right to feel this way. You were deceived by someone you trusted and you will need to share your disappointment with him and a supportive friend. But what you don’t want to do is make yourself so sick about the matter that you end up doing something so bad that you might go to jail.

Fourth, fight the temptation to stalk the man and his girlfriend. Although hurt feelings will make you think about doing some strange things, don’t feed into them. Even if the girlfriend is aware that you exist, she will have to go through her own personal trials too. She may or may not break up with him. Depending on how long they have been together, she just might stick it out with your date. So if the plan is to tell the girlfriend everything you know about her man, stop, it just might draw them closer.

Lastly, don’t be available to him sexually, physically, or any way that keeps you hanging on to him. Unfortunately, there are far too many people who enjoy using others to get their personal needs met. If the man suspects that you are still weak for him then he will take advantage of whatever you are willing to give him. So when he and his girlfriend have a fight, he might come to you for sex like he has always done. If he needs some money, wants to drive your car or stay at your home, he will boldly ask because he feels that now that you know he has a girlfriend, you will be okay with it. In time, you will grow weary of being used and will find yourself giving him an ultimatum.

Nicholl McGuire provides web content to individuals and businesses.  To learn more, visit http://nichollmcguiremedia.blogspot.com

Reasons Why Women Are Attracted to Older Men

Online Resources for Those in Age Gap Relationships

Whether you are in an age gap relationship or want to learn more, there is useful material here and around the web to help and encourage you or those you know.  Enjoy!

Ideal Age Gap for Couples Revealed

Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?

NUMBERS GAME: 10 MAY-DECEMBER COUPLES IN HOLLYWOOD

Would YOU have an age gap romance?

Thanks for Stopping By! Tips Dating Older Men, Younger Women

When we have this desire to step out of our comfort zones and try something different, we don't always consider the possible consequences and disappointments of our actions, and sometimes we don't believe that there is anything wrong in what moves us. 

There are moments in our lives that we are simply tired of the way things have been and we seek change.  To be in an age gap relationship is something new and different for many.  But like with all relationships, it comes with it's share of challenges.  Some will like you, others won't.  Today you are in love, tomorrow not so much.  The past is behind you, the future might look bleak.  You get the point if you have been in a relationship with someone younger or older for some time now.

On this blog, there are many videos and articles that share insightful tips on May-December romances.  Some of the advice is humorous and other information quite serious.  Just as there are good people in this world, there are also bad ones.  It is up to all of us to be on the look out for the strange, abusive, crazy, and dangerous in our presence and then proceed to safeguard ourselves and loved ones.

I hope that you, who have already subscribed as well as those who are visiting Tips Dating Older Men, Younger Women, will be enlightened.  Thank you so much for your continued support.

Nicholl McGuire
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Nicholl McGuire Media

Victim Through Abuser's Eyes: Audrey Michelle Talks to Sam Vaknin

Over 24 and Considered "Too Old" for the Old Guy While He Let's Himself Go

Everyone is entitled to his or her dating preferences.  If you like them young and you are 50 plus so be it.  If you like them old and you are 20 plus, that's your prerogative.  But what isn't cool is when one is vicious about calling women, who are still relatively young, old when he (or she) is visually and physically old.  What nerve some have?  It's almost laughable to see someone who is out of shape, miserable, and often weary from a cozy office job talk about what women, younger than he, look like and how he only dates younger, sexy and beautiful women.

It's time for attractive women whether young or old to raise the bar!  Far too many ladies are settling for men who don't bother to keep themselves up.  They tolerate, not only an unattractive looking guy, but sometimes those who could barely take care of themselves financially much less a woman. Is it really hard to meet people in the dating world or is the Internet just too d*mn convenient to get hooked up with whoever whenever?

A woman whether over 24 or younger is still a human being that can be a good friend or your worst nightmare depending on how you treat her.  She can shower a mature man she is really into with much love and kindness as long as he respects her, but the day he doesn't, her personality changes and things are typically never the same. If the old guy insults his date with comments about how old she is, what she knows or doesn't know for her age, or makes comments about certain parts of her anatomy getting "older," he will eventually kiss that partner goodbye.  You can only get away with saying so much if you are fit yourself, attractive, and successful.  

Nicholl McGuire also contributes to Relationship and Dating Advice blog here.

Does Your Date Make Less Money than You?

The longer you date someone, the more you learn about him or her. You begin to find out things that aren't so flattering and you start to wonder whether you want to continue to date this person. One thing that can turn into a big issue later is when a date makes less money than you. Now sometimes this isn't a problem if he or she is good about managing what little he or she has. But when this person doesn't make much money, sooner or later low funds will affect you and your wallet.

Consider the many things one wants to do while dating. Most of these travel plans cost money. Does your date have a savings toward making any of his or her wishes a reality or is this person expecting you to foot the bills?

When it comes to eating out and at home, who is often putting out the money? Does this bother you? If it does and you have been hiding your feelings about it, you might want to start discussing your concerns before things get any more serious. If you started out paying most of the bills in the dating phase, know that your role most likely won’t change as the relationship gets older.

A man or woman who is use to being taken care of is usually attracted to people willing to meet his or her needs. What is your date’s history? Has his partners typically been older or younger? This is significant because chances are if you are older, he or she has some other underlying issues and being with someone mature makes him or her feel mentally and physically secure. Sometimes a date is thrown into a role he or she didn't plan on playing out i.e.) Sugar Daddy, Father, Sugar Momma, Mother.

You will know when the connection with a date is more about material wealth then it is about love when he or she does the following:

1. The person never offers to pay for anything while you are out.
2. He or she doesn't appear to love or even like you much, but when you pull out your wallet, there is much attention and affection thrown your way.
3. You can’t have a conversation with him or her without it involving money or you assisting him or her in some way.
4. Your date acts very needy, pouts, and does things that irritate you when it comes to purchases you have made with your money.
5. The date doesn't bother to save any money and expects you to bail him or her out.

Once you see the truth, here’s what you will need to do:

1. Scale back on the gift-giving.
2. Don’t offer your date any financial assistance or service. Observe how he or she handles matters.
3. Plan to attend events and travel, but ask for contributions from your date if he or she would want to go along. If the date doesn't help, go without him or her.

Life is too short to permit someone to take advantage of your kindness. Be sure that anyone you date whether they make less or more money is someone that sincerely loves you for you!

Nicholl McGuire shares more relationships tips here.

The Young Woman who Runs from Her Father to the Older Guy

She isn't attracted to the older man for the sake of being attracted to him, this perceptive young woman is running to him because he is a kind, sweet, caring version of what she wished her own father to be.  Everything isn't about sex and money with this particular lady.  She is quite content with or without those things, just so long as the older guy is attentive and makes her feel special and secure, he wins and angry dad loses.

Dad should have seen it coming long ago.  When he walked past his daughter as if he didn't see her or when he sat in front of the television screen far too long while never bothering to ask, "So how was your day in school?"  He should have known that he would be unimportant in her life sooner rather than later, because he could care less about his daughter's lifestyle unless it some how involved him.

The mature man, who might have a daughter of his own, is not only going to embrace the youthful beauty, but he is going to care for her (while possibly pitying her) in a way that she wants.  The troubled older man might use the woman's pain to benefit him while creating the illusion he is safe. Either way, if the man, who might be a possible father himself, isn't close to his own daughter, somehow this young lady will fulfill his emotional disconnect from his own offspring.

Some mothers, who are about the same age as their daughters older boyfriends, are disturbed by their choices in older men sometimes.  They might look like their husbands or exes, act in similar ways, or do things that make them hurt inside for their daughters. These discerning mothers see through some of these older men like looking through a glass store front.  Sure, they look good on the outside, but upon closer inspection, "What does this guy really want with my daughter?  Is he just as troubled as she?  Is someone or something absent in his life too?"

It isn't easy for some age-gap couples, because people change like they do in other types of relationships.  What once served its purpose during the courtship will one day be reviewed and replaced with something new, and if what is being offered is dismal, dissatisfying, or downright wrong, someone will wake up and the relationship will surely come to an end.  

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

May-December Relationships - When It Comes to Dating: Age is Just a Number or is it?

When young women meet older men or vice versa, they will talk about how age is just a number and who cares about the age gap, and how much they love their partners. They could care less about the years their dates have been on the planet. Most observers understand these age gap relationships, while others not so much—especially when the person who is dating someone older is their daughter or son. Families don’t tend to embrace the age gap relationship as well as some would have you to believe. Parents, grandparents and other relatives want to see their loved ones happy, but they don’t always like the choices they make in mates particularly when the dates are as old as they. Of course, the happy couple doesn't care what the critics say, they love one another. But age does eventually play a part in the relationship.

Marriage

The older partner that has experienced much in his or her life is sometimes not open to discussing the possibility of being married once again which will make those who find marriage important bristle. The mature date knows what marriage means and is not at times happy about the idea of making yet another promise that he or she might not be able to keep, so he or she will drag out the relationship promising to commit one day. A young person that has never been married before will be tempted to add pressure to an already intense situation causing the older person to put off getting married.

Children

A young person who has never had children is typically open to the idea which might stimulate an increase interest in getting married sooner rather than later. He or she wants to feel secure in knowing that a partner will be around to help parent the children. However, the one who has been there and done that isn't so excited about the possibility of having yet another child. This person might reflect on a time of much struggle, be concerned about the baby’s needs affecting his or her work and bank account, and avoid the topic because he or she doesn't like the idea or want to be a part of it.

Life experience

As much as some would like to think that life experience has no bearing on a May-December relationships, it does! The more mature a man or woman is the more knowledge he or she has about life. Sometimes people will change during their evolution of maturing. A young person is more likely to change his or her mindset, personal goals, and more than an older partner. He or she isn't typically settled and will not be too happy if he or she feels like an the mature mate is attempting to hold him or her back. Until the pair is in similar places in life, the relationship will be challenged.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual advice on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

Too Much Talking About Your Young Lady or Older Guy?

Some best friends, relatives, co-workers, and others aren't the least bit interested in connecting with an older man and younger woman dating one another.  Some have acted strangely, others have closed off circles, while a few might have faked support.

One of the biggest mistakes a couple makes in an age gap relationship is talk about one another a little too much to those in their inner circles.  Revealing things like personal issues they have with one another to how they act when it comes to sex, too much information will cause some healthy couples to put up their signs, "Keep away."

Friends, who have known each other for decades, begin to grow distant but the distance can increase even more when a buddy keeps talking about his "Pretty young thing...how she makes me feel...I just love when she...I don't like it when she..."  Some friends become jealous while others just don't want to hear things about the young woman in almost every conversation.

The young woman, who is excited about dating the older guy with money, loses her friends over time because, she too likes to run her mouth about what she receives from him, what she likes and doesn't like about the man.  The pair belong together, at least for a time, until one or both isn't so positive about the relationship.

Funny, how time flies when you're having fun!

Nicholl McGuire

Brent Morin: Don't Date Rich Girls; They're INSANE

Dating Warning Signs that Predict What the Future Might Look Like

10 Warning Signs On Dating Hyper-sexualized Young Women

From the time a young girl was old enough to walk, she may have already experienced some things too graphic to mention here when it comes to her sexuality.  By the time she is in her 20s, she has seen, heard and felt enough pain and pleasure that it isn't any wonder that at times she dresses and acts in ways that might be considered shameful, disrespectful, and downright foolish to some older men.

As much as some mature men would love a twenty-something beauty on their arms, what they don't realize is there is often baggage that comes with the hyper-sexualized type--those very sexy women who will do almost anything for a good time.  From various personalities they can switch on and off to eating disorders, these sexy ladies are seriously too hot to handle and may create much drama in an unsuspecting man's life.  Some older men don't realize what they are getting themselves into until its too late i.e.) rape accusations, stalking, jail etc.

When checking out these pretty young women both on and offline, mature men should consider the following:

1.  Is the young woman often seen in photographs half nude or totally nude?

2.  Does she strip, use drugs, or abuse alcohol?

3.  How might accepting her wild lifestyle affect a possible future relationship with her, your life, or affect others in your family?

4.  Is she frequently seen flirting or "hanging out" with males?

5.  What is the likelihood that the young lady has slept with at least one or two of her so-called good friends?  How might you feel sharing her with other men?

6.  Does she have a close relationship with mom, dad or both to the point that it makes you feel uncomfortable or is her relationship so bad to the point that police had to get involved?

7.  Have you experienced moments with the young lady that made you question whether she was mentally stable?

8.  Has she asked you to do things to her or others that were strange, odd, or painful?  Did you do these things against your better judgment?  What might happen if you keep doing them?

9.  Have you had dark dreams about her or experienced some bizarre things when she isn't around?

10.  Does she curse often, yell, or make a big deal about things that most people wouldn't?

These are just some things you will want to think about before planning a future where you might be taking care of the young woman financially and physically.  Some of these hyper-sexualized women know just how bad things are with them mentally, physically and spiritually while hoping to find a few good men to save them.  When that doesn't work, they often do the following:  get pregnant in the hopes their lovers will stick around, later abandon children, leave their babies with many different people, or choose to abort because they are incapable of handling the responsibility of raising children.

If you know someone who appears to have it together, yet tends to be overly sexy and has been at times very irresponsible in her decision-making, pay attention to the warning signs early on and protect yourself in more ways than one.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

She Was a Child, He Was a Man

I never thought in a million years that my mom would lift up the liner of my purse and see many letters from a young girl about 13 written to me.  The girl was my best friend.  She was going through a tough time back in '86.  Dad was no where to be found, mom was often working, and my friend had a lot of time to hang out.  Me, I had no time to spare, my parents didn't believe in me spending anytime over friends' homes or they coming to our home, nor was I allowed to ride on buses or chill on street corners, parking lots or malls.  Phone calls were limited and so was afterschool events.  So back then, before Internet, there was much letter writing between friends.


I knew that things were beginning to take a different turn for my good friend when she started mouthing off to our teacher back in elementary school.  The guy was nice and more patient than most teachers.  I was thinking at the time, "What was up with her?"  The rebellious student had a lot on her mind.  I knew her secrets, but I didn't know just how bad they could affect her personality, but I could never tell--I promised.


My friend had met a guy who was 21 years old that same year.  She had been lying about her age for a long time.  I thought it was strange at that a young man was interested in her.  I mean she was attractive and had a build that didn't look like a teen, yet  I could see how young she looked in the face, but I guess the older guy didn't seem to notice or didn't care.  I really wished he had taken a better look at her between all the makeup she wore and simply told my flirtatious friend, "You're too young Sweetheart and moved on."  But the letters never revealed he rejected her, rather he seemed to be taking advantage of her and I mentioned some things in the hope that she would get some help.


For many months, she confessed how she felt about the guy.  "I love him...he's so nice," she would say.  She talked about how he liked her and bought her things.  She said she really wanted to be with him.  At some point, her mom detected she had a boyfriend.  However, in time she knew he was older, but hadn't pressed the issue about her daughter breaking up with him.  I thought it was bizarre back then that mom seemed not to care.  But looking back, the man most likely was giving the mother some money or helping the family out in some way.


I hated keeping my friend's secrets, I eventually did throw those once hidden letters away at the request of my mother, they started becoming more and more graphic.  The girl would share her experiences and I being a faithful friend just couldn't divulge her secrets.  I was 11 years old at the time.  My friend's life wasn't the least bit innocent.  As I read each letter, I felt like a piece of my own childhood was evaporating. 


When I reflect on the day that my mom found those many letters, it was freeing in some way even though I was quite scared that she might do something.   I was so glad not to carry my friend's burdens anymore.  That was her life and her mother was going to have to deal with whatever she permitted her daughter to do.


By the time that school year ended, I don't really know what happened to my friend.  The last I heard, she was going to a different school.


Nicholl McGuire 

Money, Sex and Online Dating

If you thought you were going to get online, find someone at one of those dating websites and all would be just fine in the end, think again!  There will be challenges sooner or later when you meet these people who flock to the Internet to set up dating profiles and upload attractive headshots.  For many online daters, it's a business whether they choose to call their dating experiences that.  They are on these dating websites for upfront money and/or sex.  You just aren't going to get something for nothing!  The wealthy man calls the beautiful women he wants to date prostitutes because they want cash, gifts and other things before they agree to have sex.  The women complain about being called gold-diggers.  Then there are both men and women irregardless of their sexual preferences, locations, etc. they have their share of issues they are running away from, desire to relocate, and want more out of life and so someone online is supposed to save them from their boring routines or rescue them out of their poor situations.


Now let's just put money and sex to the side for a moment.  Do you really like that guy and is he really your type?  Is that girl so beautiful that you will do almost anything for her like marry her for starters?  The truth is that many available as well as unavailable men and women are not sold out on their online dates, at least not in the beginning of the courtship, they say things like, "I think I could one day love him...She might be a good wife one day..."  So in the meantime have a good time and get what you can out of the deal, right? 


It takes time to truly get to know someone, but a man or woman with a pressing offline need is not going to waste too much time chatting, winking, texting, and doing much else before asking, "So when are we getting together?"  Then when the time comes, someone better deliver on the goods or else face any number of things depending on the date's mindset.  So many have had bad experiences feeling pressured to deliver on what was suggested online or promised.


There is nothing wrong with establishing boundaries and telling a person where you stand when it comes to a casual dating, serious commitment, or fling experience.  But what is wrong is leading someone to believe things just to get things!  Whatever the desire, wouldn't it be best simply to state it--no sugar-coating and no pretending to go along just to get along either?  Even if your request is met with a "no," take heed, learn from the experience, and get needs met in other ways.


Unfortunately, some online daters ask for trouble when they assume they are going to visit an Internet website and get what they want when they want.  As much as one would like to believe that these dating websites will deliver whether you pay or not, you still have to face the harsh reality that people are people and if they like you, they like you and if they don't, they don't.


Money and sex, if you hope for one or both, be prepared for the consequences in your rush to get these things.


Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.  Would you like more dating advice, see here.

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