Getting a Divorce to Be with the Young Lady

Your secret is safe with me, I'm not telling.  But the issue of divorce is something that many of us faced in the past.  The thoughts came into mind soon after the holidays came to an end and then by spring the paperwork was delivered.  For any number of reasons men and women say, goodbye to the past and hello to the future.


It may appear as if things are just great once the decision is reached to discontinue a current relationship.  However, some people just don't understand that when people warn, "The grass isn't greener..." they mean it.  It starts off a plush green, but in time it wears out, gets old and turns yellow.  Without turning the grass over, planting some new seed, and maintaining the ground, there will be no plush green grass anymore.  Instead, there will be holes, bald spots, bugs, and an unsightly look left behind.  Isn't this partly the reason why the marriage grew stale in the first place?  Off to go explore new pasture.


A young lady can be nice, sexy, smart, and special, but one must remember she is young.  One day she is going to realize just how good-looking and intelligent she is and how much life she has in front of her.  She will want to see what more is out there.  No matter what she says, her heart will eventually tell her different.  Why take a risk with a wishy-washy young person if a marriage might be saved?


Far too many men have prematurely ended savable marriages only to later find that if only they had been more focused on what was happening on the home-front and less distracted from what was at work, in the parking lot, on the computer screen, or at the local business maybe a wife would still be around.


Divorce has long-lasting effects while sexy and sex is temporal.  Be sure that you are willing to take care of your ex and the young lady, because both will be expecting something sooner or later that starts with a dollar sign and ends with zeros.


Nicholl McGuire 

When the Young Woman is Rude, Restless and Miserable

The writing is on the wall, she isn't much interested in her older partner like she once was.  The young woman talks rudely to him whether behind closed doors or in the public.  She often feels bored in the relationship.  In addition, her date has a good way of making her feel miserable when she is with him frequently complaining about something, acting critical of her, and showing well, his age.


The older man may not care too much about the way his lady friend feels since she still has sex with him every now and then.  But in time, he is going to grow weary of his date's negative attitude and may end the relationship--that is if she doesn't do it first.


When the young woman reaches a point of no return in an age gap relationship, it's not so much that she hates the man she is with, but she is disappointed at the change that has taken place between them.  Older men don't remain the same, they age and so do young women. 


What use to be fun, unique and interesting a year or more ago may not be anymore for any number of factors between the couple.  One would have to sit down with his or her partner to find out what has happened--that is if you still want to be in the relationship.


Nicholl McGuire also contributes to a dating blog here.

10 Ways Men Are Dressing Wrong

When Some Older Men are Tired and Lazy

Some mature men are very energetic, pleasant to be around and enjoy having fun with younger people.  These men will admit that young people make them feel alive.  However, there are those older men who avoid young people like a plague.  They aren't very much interested in dating women with young children, don't bother to take much time up with their own sons and daughters and younger relatives.  They enjoy time alone watching favorite sports on television without feeling obligated to entertain anyone but themselves.


Sometimes the older man, who doesn't have much of a life, believes that by connecting with a young woman things will get better--become more interesting, but this isn't always the case.  For some men, they regret their decisions choosing younger women to date.  They come to the realization that having an imagined fun life, really ends up being more work than anticipated and costs much money.  An older man, who is often tired, lazy and hoards his money, doesn't make for a good partner.  Both mature and younger women actually regret landing these types.


Being overweight and having low-T has a lot to do with why some men are not as energetic as they once were.  Unfortunately, some lost wives due to being fat--imagine having someone much larger than you attempting to make love to you or smelling an out of control body odor?  It isn't any wonder that some divorce.  Then throw in a mood disorder and boredom, an older man with these issues aren't going to win and keep friends for long.  These men are typically uninterested in life beyond the television screen and music. 


When a man is miserable and doesn't like himself much, he will lash out at anyone who points the finger at his weaknesses.  Rather than deal with the problems that are creating more problems, he will cast blame, act as if he has done nothing wrong in a previous relationship, and go about his routines oblivious to those around him.


If a young woman happens to be involved with a man she deems old, tired and lazy, it would be best to distance herself from the troubled man when he refuses to address issues.  Of course, we all are getting older, but some age pretty well and are a joy to be around, while others are often angry and want nothing more than a comfy chair, a cool beverage, and a huge television screen.


Nicholl McGuire 

Young Woman: Do You Really Want a Rich Man?

What are you willing to give up to get a rich man?  If anyone ever told you that there is nothing you must sacrifice in order to be with a successful man, think again, young woman!


Whether a man has a six figure income, inherited wealth, or just manages his money well, for him to be willing to share what he has earned, he has to know that he is going to get something (more than just sex) from his partner.  The kind of some "things" that will motivate him enough to generously hand over a portion of his money to his young lover/girlfriend/wife.  Yet, the truth is that many successful types maintain their wealth, not because they enjoy distributing it, but because they love saving or worse hoarding it!


So along comes a young lady who thinks that she is going to swindle a man out of his money, play a game better than him, or sweet talk him into sharing his assets. She just might do well persuading him to give her a donation or two, but of course at some point, the rich man is going to catch on to her gaming and in time, he will be expecting more than a trophy for a partner and legs spread wide.  Whatever that something is she just might find herself compromising her morals--that is if she has any.


Most women who landed wealthy men did something along the way to catch and keep that man.  Maybe the young lady didn't have to disrobe, but she did have to show and prove that she was a worthy partner.  Manipulating others, pretending to love her rich man, helping him with his projects, offering financial support to her mate for a time (even though he is rich), housing him, making meals, tending to his needs, assisting with his children, meeting the needs of older parents...there are no free lunches when it comes to some young women partnering with older, rich men.


Mature women, who have been with well-to-do gentlemen far longer than most young women who have been on this planet, will speak of a long list of things they had to put up with in order to keep their, at times, insensitive, grouchy, and downright evil partners.


1.  Lie for their rich men even though they wanted to tell the truth to others about them.
2.  Pretend as if their men never emotionally, physically or spiritually abused them.
3.  Put off personal needs to tend to their mates endeavors.
4.  Enlist the help (or otherwise take advantage) of others to save their men money and time.
5.  Experience emotional turmoil because a mate wanted to have sex with other women.
6.  Forget about past indiscretions if they wanted to keep the peace at home.
7.  Act as if everything is mentally, physically and spiritually alright with their rich partners when they know different.


These are only seven of many things partners of rich men have undergone to maintain decades long relationships.  A woman who doesn't have tough-skin, has problems with working indoors and outdoors (sometimes the home isn't going to include a maid and a gardener), has issue with lying to protect a wealthy man's reputation, money, power status, etc. is not going to do well with a rich man. 


Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it and when you do, will you be able to handle it?


Nicholl McGuire

When the Family Accepts Younger Woman Dating Older Guy

He made it through the series of tests!  The family really liked that guy who is 10 plus years older than their young daughter, niece, sister, cousin...Good for him!  But the trial is not over, it's just beginning!


As long as the older guy dates the younger woman, there will always be someone or a group in the family that will be keeping one eye on that man who claims to love/like their young relative.  The day he says one cross word or puts his hand on their little girl and she goes back to report to her family about the episode, just might be the day that he can forget coming back around the family.


Although some relatives might be okay with the arrangement publicly, behind closed doors they are having the "If he does anything..." kind of conversation.  Remember, the relatives don't love or appreciate that man like his partner does.  As far as they are concerned, he is a fly by night romance with mid-life issues.


Meanwhile, those relatives, who are genuinely happy for the couple, will not hesitate to invite them over for future events.  It is up to the older guy and his young partner to pick and choose which events are worth attending.  Too much hanging around the family isn't always good and so the old adage goes, familiarity breeds contempt.  Therefore, take some time away from relatives and love from a distance if you want your relationship to go the distance!


Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.

Style Advice for the Man Over 50 - Real Men Real Style

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http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/older-man-wardrobe/

Age Gap Dating - When is it a Good Time to Stick with Your Own Age?

You will know when it is a better to remain friendly with someone older or younger when your mind and body are in agreement.  There is just no shaking that feeling that says, "Keep away from them!" 


Many young women may have started off talking about how great their older dates were when things were still new, but in time they begin to realize why the older women wouldn't even look twice at them.  There is always a not-so public reason why an older man is interested in a younger woman and it isn't always good.


Some older men regret meeting their younger dates after a time of spending time with them.  They too come to the realization why the young women prefer dating them; rather than younger, more attractive looking men.  From wanting a place to stay to needing someone in their lives that will make them feel special, some young women's demands are too much to bear for older guys set in their ways.


To date most individuals who are older men or younger ladies requires patience, generosity, sex, and kindness.  Young women are typically more active and talk more than older women.  They also are still trying to figure their lives out so you never know what a day might bring.  Older men tend to have their share of responsibilities as well as health issues, so you never know when those sweet guys will turn sour.


If you know that the idea of being with someone with a significant age gap is going to be a bit of a burden for you, then rather talk yourself into dating the person or allowing him or her to persuade you to continue to date, just say, "No."  When you are not sold out on an idea, it is always best to avoid it.  Otherwise, you will find yourself one day playing the blame game.  Meanwhile, the only one to blame will be yourself for thinking you wanted something that you really didn't from the start.


Nicholl McGuire wrote Laboring to Love Myself, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.

3 Reasons to Date a Man Older Than You

Bill Cosby Jokes About Drugging Girls with "Spanish Fly" In 1969 Comedy ...

Think twice young ladies before you let a pushy, older men pour your drinks.

Married Men will be Home for the Holidays

For the young women hoping that the married man will be with them during the holidays, think again!  If he does come around, he would have told a fantastic lie to relatives in order to get out of the home during the evening or late at night which he just might avoid being that family holidays is a time for togetherness.  If you see the married man before or during a holiday, it will be between his errand running and he will obviously look stressed and will be in a rush.  Wives may be busy, but not too busy to notice that something is a bit strange about their spouses.


These other women await for their unavailable men's return to their beds in the hopes that things will get back to the way they were. They hope the gifts of money, time and affection will continue as usual.  However, the holidays have a way of changing some men's hearts, minds and bank accounts when it comes to their other women.  No sense in acting like a crazed woman if the married man says, "Listen, I really don't think we should keep seeing each other.  I don't think it is a good idea..."


While these young women had hoped for babies to their new lovers, serious relationships or their older men to divorce their wives, there will be an unexplained energy in the air, the kind that includes prayers and curses coming their way depending on the kind of men these women decided to connect with.  As much as men and women reason that all is okay despite saying wedding vows before a supernatural God, the reality is, it isn't--it  really isn't.  Consider the countless media stories of scorned wives and lovers going off the deep end as a result of being cheated on and lied to.  Until a man is divorced, he shouldn't be leading any woman on, making her believe that he is ready to move on with his life when it is obvious, he is not.  So many men manipulate women then wonder why these sweet, beautiful young woman turn into crazy, obsessed b*tches, don't wonder, get out while you still have a mind and body intact as well as your freedom.  See blog on dating and domestic violence as well as other abuses http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com 


Women, who have been in relationships with the following types of unavailable men such as:  married men,  married abused men, abusive married men, or are involved with married Sugar Daddies, know what it feels like when it seems like one's world is mysteriously getting worse fooling around with these backslidden Christian oath takers who stood before a group of people to declare their love for wives knowing full well they never loved God, his church or the wives they are committed to! 


From health to finances, the young woman has more problems to solve while the unavailable man becomes less and less in their lives until he is no more!  Babies born in these relationships never fully get to know their fathers.  They are often forgotten about sooner or later, because the married man has to keep his mess away from his supposedly happy home. 


One or both know when an affair is coming to an end when usually the married man is not acting as kind, patient and generous like he once was.  He may find excuses not to come around his lover anymore or blatantly express his feelings of guilt, resentment, and anger toward wife and lover(s).


To eliminate some of the personal drama, it would make sense for any woman or man in a troubled relationship like this to end it, but there is always that but...or butt that makes things difficult.  If this describes your situation, one way of relieving some of the tension is to keep away from all things that tempt you to want to go back to a lover.  If her smile attracts you, rid yourself of images on and offline that remind you of her.  If seeing him at a nearby workplace makes you want him, then avoid watching him and going to that place whenever possible.  If she is one of your Facebook friends, a part of a dating network, a co-worker, or is in or around your home, or lives nearby, you will need to stop making an effort to talk and be with this young lady. 


People ignore one another everyday and when you are determined to get on with your life and rid yourself of past mistakes, you don't keep inviting them back into your world.  If a baby is involved, you have no choice but to do your part to help the young woman and your baby.  If you are a married father reading this, you most likely will have to share this information with your spouse if the young woman plans on letting the world know about the baby via the court system, media, or confronting your wife and other relatives. 


Most young women and older married men find each other as a source of escape from troubled marriages and mundane lifestyles.  It was a process to get together and it will be a process to break up, but it can be done.  Who wants to keep waiting by the phone for a call all hours of the day and night or worry over whether he or she is sleeping with someone else, stressed about money and gifts, or concerned that someone with a taste for blood just might find out about the relationship?


A man or woman who doesn't want to have to deal with the adrenaline rush of keeping secrets and telling lies during what is supposed to be a happy season, will stay home at least for a time.  Having an affair is work.  Telling lies and trying to keep up with those lies is exhausting.  Remembering to address the needs of a wife, tend to work responsibilities, and do for children and other relatives is hard work.  Then there is that young woman who thinks to herself, "What on earth did I get myself into?"  Free yourself.


Happy Holidays!
Nicholl McGuire

7 Inexpensive Gift Ideas for the Older Man

A young woman just can't go wrong if she knows her older man's taste, but if he isn't one for being specific about his preferences, here are some gift ideas that are useful and will make him smile!


1.  Wrinkle-free dress shirts.  A professional man with a tight schedule doesn't like ironing or at times dropping off or picking up clothing from the cleaners.  The young woman might purchase quality shirts in navy blue, gray or white for her mature man. To play it safe, avoid bright colors and bold prints.


2.  Cologne is a good idea when you have some idea what he already has.  If he enjoys subtle colognes like a musk or others that you can smell before he hits the door, you might want to do your research and let him smell some cologne samples before you buy one.  However, if he is an allergy sufferer, pass on this gift idea, and instead get some useful hair and body items that are fragrance free and are designed for sensitive skin.


3.  Ties along with a nice set of cuff links are a great gift if he is often in the public or travels to formal events.  If you go along with this idea, be sure you have checked out what he already has to get some idea of his taste.  Don't take a chance wasting your money on something silly just because you like it.  He most likely will laugh about it, but he won't wear it.


4.  Avoid jewelry unless you have been with the gentleman for a long time and know his taste well.  Although a major purchase might flatter him, you don't want to go broke in the hopes of a serious commitment and nothing comes of it.  Expensive gift items have a way of conveying exclusivity.  You also don't want to be disappointed during your gift exchange only to find out the item he bought for you was inexpensive and meaningless.  Instead of jewelry, get him something that helps him organize what he already has.  So if he has many necklaces, rings, or cufflinks, seek out a nice-looking organizer.


5.  Printed media is always a great gift for someone who loves to read, but not so much for the man who enjoys watching television or movies online.  So be sure the media you choose goes along with his preference.


6.  Collectible items are great gifts if you know what he enjoys collecting.  If he has a favorite team, you might want to get something within reason to add to his office décor or his "man cave."


7.  Spiritual men love anything that reaffirms their faith, makes them feel good, and is helpful to their godly assignments.  So if you know how to pray, ask God to lead you to something that is worthwhile.  Beautiful plaques, cups, framed pictures, key chains, book covers, book marks, and other Christian items make for great gifts.


Other items you might want to look out for on sale include: sweatshirts, belts, socks, underwear, hats with favorite teams/logos, and useful electronics under $100.


Nicholl McGuire also shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 as well as links to other useful sites.  See here.

Older Men Remarry and Select Younger Women

When men remarry, they go way younger. Women pick someone older.


http://news.yahoo.com/men-remarry-way-younger-women-130002088.html

How Do You Know the Older Man is Really as Clean as He Says He Is

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Six Things Mature Men Shouldn't Do When Dating Someone Younger

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Chasing Young Women - When the Older Man Has Had Enough

He may have dated many young women, had sex with them, bought them, and kicked them out when they stepped out of line, but as he grows older, he no longer finds them worth chasing.  Sure, the rich, older guy has some good memories, enjoyed their company, and learned some new things, but a man who has outgrew loveless relationships and has more important things on his mind, isn't the least bit interested in entertaining or being entertained by young women.


Yet, some women think they can make a fool of an older guy by flashing him with a smile like many have done before, show off yet another pair of boobs, a behind in a tight skirt, long shapely legs, and high heels.  They will share their material requests in the hopes that he will honor them.  There was that time in his life he would have bedded these young women, gave them some cash, and sent them back home to boyfriends, but not anymore.  Times are indeed changing for the older gent.


Sometimes a man doesn't have to experience a mid-life crisis in order to reach a place in his life where he reflects on his haves and have-nots.  Rather, he simply ponders on what more he has to do before he closes his eyes.  Although he is grateful for those good times of chasing women, he realizes that he has other roles in his life that have fallen by the wayside during those skirt-chasing days.  For some men, they have sons that need to see what an honest, upright, confident, and educated man looks like and daughters in need of their fathers.  So they know that showing off their weakness for sex wouldn't be a good idea when a boy is ready to become a man while a daughter is trying to learn more about men.  Chances are his son has already took in more than a few scents of girls/women and is ready to learn more about what life has to offer besides sex and sports.  As for his daughter, she most likely have already cried her first tears over a boy or man.  But who is there to teach sons and daughters when an old guy is distracted by trivial things?


Older men, who have various health issues,  know that life hasn't been too kind to them during their days of partying.  They are well aware that their final days will soon come to an end, so they intend to make the most of them without additional stress coming from young or old women.  They hope to live the kind of lifestyle that they and their relatives will no longer feel ashamed about.  So they clean up their act, visit a church, read a good book or two, and try to live righteously.


Unsuspecting young women who believe that all they need to do to keep a mature, rich gentleman is dress themselves up and be willing to do what he asks, are surprised when, without notice, their lovers no longer have need of them.  They question what might be wrong, wonder if they have done something to offend them, or think their men have met other young women.  However, for some of these men they simply have had enough of living a lie or conducting themselves in a way that they no longer find fulfilling.  If the young woman should attempt to make the older guy change his mind about a life change, she might catch his wrath.  A determined man that desires change, can also be an evil one.  He doesn't want to be talked out of how he feels and the things he wants to do without her.


Most men, both young and old, are just not like the way they are portrayed on television screens wanting nothing more than a remote and a hot chick.  They really aren't that interested in having their lives dominated by pretty women even though many believe such nonsense.  In addition, they are not all that willing to spend their money on someone else either especially once they have retired.  An attractive, young woman is like a Christmas tree, she might come out every now and then to be admired, touched, decorated, and more, but she isn't meant to be the center of the mature guy's life on a daily basis particularly when he knows he is unwilling to put the money and time in to keep her looking and feeling beautiful.


Nicholl McGuire

In and Out of Love with Someone Older

It is a great feeling when you finally meet someone you are compatible with.  The individual is mature, attractive, wealthy, and enjoys your company.  You are happy with your selection and look forward to the future.  Of course, there are those issues that come up as you learn more about a lover--the kind of things that will stop the butterflies from fluttering in your stomach.  As a young person, you will discover that as much as you would like to remain in a bubble concerning the mature person you are dating, there will be those not-so appealing things about him or her that will burst your bubble.


Being in love with someone older doesn't have to be one of those things that stops, feelings for someone can go on and on if you let them.  If your focus is on the positive and your partner is willing to remain faithful to you, you can continue to be in love.  When one is kind and respectful to his or her partner and the actions are reciprocated, then there are no worries about the relationship.  But those people in relationships that tend to have many concerns about their age gap partnership is due to the way they are being treated by their mates.  If a partner is rude, impatient, unkind, and frugal, then there isn't any wonder why things aren't working out.


To be in love with anyone, not just someone a decade or two older, one must be willing to do the kind of things that will keep a partner interested in being with him or her and vice versa.  Yet, for some mature people, they simply don't have the energy or time to devote to another human being after spending years of dating and being married to one or more than a few.  As a result, some will not stay interested in being with a young partner for long.  Those that are burnt out with relationships and all that comes with them, find them meaningless, temporary, sex tiring, conversation mundane, and so on.  It doesn't matter how young, nice or compatible, when a mature person isn't interested in being in a relationship there will be enough signs to let you know.  With such a negative view when it comes to settling down with yet another partner, an older person (or young person) experiencing such feelings is far from being in love.  If anything, he or she should get out of the relationship as soon as possible before causing anymore damage. 


Selfish, negative people steal joy.  They don't permit others to love in the way they so desire.  They can be difficult, angry people who often disagree, fault-find, and hate various people, places and things for any number of reasons.  Unfortunately, the older some people get, the worse they can be.  This is why some mature men and women are unable to keep young partners (or those the same age), because they are uncomfortable with the aging process, unhappy with life decisions, and bitter because they didn't accomplish goals over the years.  They don't find getting older a good experience especially when a young person is able to remember more things than they, have the patience for new technology, and enjoy learning new things.  Some can be quite jealous of young people because they have plenty of time to get things right, so they assume.
 


Once it is discovered that there are far too many differences in personalities and years, the couple will eventually separate.  Whatever drew them together, no longer is strong enough to keep them together.
The process of breaking up might be difficult at first for the older as well as young person, but in time both will be content with knowing they made a good decision.  It is never a good idea to stick it out with someone you know you are no longer in love, like or lust with.


Nicholl McGuire