Monday

Married Men will be Home for the Holidays

For the young women hoping that the married man will be with them during the holidays, think again!  If he does come around, he would have told a fantastic lie to relatives in order to get out of the home during the evening or late at night which he just might avoid being that family holidays is a time for togetherness.  If you see the married man before or during a holiday, it will be between his errand running and he will obviously look stressed and will be in a rush.  Wives may be busy, but not too busy to notice that something is a bit strange about their spouses.


These other women await for their unavailable men's return to their beds in the hopes that things will get back to the way they were. They hope the gifts of money, time and affection will continue as usual.  However, the holidays have a way of changing some men's hearts, minds and bank accounts when it comes to their other women.  No sense in acting like a crazed woman if the married man says, "Listen, I really don't think we should keep seeing each other.  I don't think it is a good idea..."


While these young women had hoped for babies to their new lovers, serious relationships or their older men to divorce their wives, there will be an unexplained energy in the air, the kind that includes prayers and curses coming their way depending on the kind of men these women decided to connect with.  As much as men and women reason that all is okay despite saying wedding vows before a supernatural God, the reality is, it isn't--it  really isn't.  Consider the countless media stories of scorned wives and lovers going off the deep end as a result of being cheated on and lied to.  Until a man is divorced, he shouldn't be leading any woman on, making her believe that he is ready to move on with his life when it is obvious, he is not.  So many men manipulate women then wonder why these sweet, beautiful young woman turn into crazy, obsessed b*tches, don't wonder, get out while you still have a mind and body intact as well as your freedom.  See blog on dating and domestic violence as well as other abuses http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com 


Women, who have been in relationships with the following types of unavailable men such as:  married men,  married abused men, abusive married men, or are involved with married Sugar Daddies, know what it feels like when it seems like one's world is mysteriously getting worse fooling around with these backslidden Christian oath takers who stood before a group of people to declare their love for wives knowing full well they never loved God, his church or the wives they are committed to! 


From health to finances, the young woman has more problems to solve while the unavailable man becomes less and less in their lives until he is no more!  Babies born in these relationships never fully get to know their fathers.  They are often forgotten about sooner or later, because the married man has to keep his mess away from his supposedly happy home. 


One or both know when an affair is coming to an end when usually the married man is not acting as kind, patient and generous like he once was.  He may find excuses not to come around his lover anymore or blatantly express his feelings of guilt, resentment, and anger toward wife and lover(s).


To eliminate some of the personal drama, it would make sense for any woman or man in a troubled relationship like this to end it, but there is always that but...or butt that makes things difficult.  If this describes your situation, one way of relieving some of the tension is to keep away from all things that tempt you to want to go back to a lover.  If her smile attracts you, rid yourself of images on and offline that remind you of her.  If seeing him at a nearby workplace makes you want him, then avoid watching him and going to that place whenever possible.  If she is one of your Facebook friends, a part of a dating network, a co-worker, or is in or around your home, or lives nearby, you will need to stop making an effort to talk and be with this young lady. 


People ignore one another everyday and when you are determined to get on with your life and rid yourself of past mistakes, you don't keep inviting them back into your world.  If a baby is involved, you have no choice but to do your part to help the young woman and your baby.  If you are a married father reading this, you most likely will have to share this information with your spouse if the young woman plans on letting the world know about the baby via the court system, media, or confronting your wife and other relatives. 


Most young women and older married men find each other as a source of escape from troubled marriages and mundane lifestyles.  It was a process to get together and it will be a process to break up, but it can be done.  Who wants to keep waiting by the phone for a call all hours of the day and night or worry over whether he or she is sleeping with someone else, stressed about money and gifts, or concerned that someone with a taste for blood just might find out about the relationship?


A man or woman who doesn't want to have to deal with the adrenaline rush of keeping secrets and telling lies during what is supposed to be a happy season, will stay home at least for a time.  Having an affair is work.  Telling lies and trying to keep up with those lies is exhausting.  Remembering to address the needs of a wife, tend to work responsibilities, and do for children and other relatives is hard work.  Then there is that young woman who thinks to herself, "What on earth did I get myself into?"  Free yourself.


Happy Holidays!
Nicholl McGuire

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