Saturday
Friday
7 Vaginal Health Issues Every Woman Should Know
If you are concerned or curious about some ongoing problems when it comes to women's issues, you might want to learn more here.
Thursday
Plenty of Reasons Why Older Men Date Younger Women, But Middle-Age Issues Live On
So older men date younger women for a variety of reasons from Boaz marrying Ruth to protect a family name to a relative simply liking a young lady and wanting to take care of her--no big deal, right? Right. But what if upon closer inspection some of those male mid-life blues start to show up coupled with issues he has carried from the last relationship with a menopausal woman, now what? The young woman has her work cut out for her--that's what! She has to be strong, focused, love herself, determined to make the relationship work (that is if she loves her partner) and have a support system that will advise her when things don't look good in the relationship.
I thought of this topic yet again (already wrote about it in the past on other sites and this one) as to why a man dates younger when I noticed many middle-aged women (both on and offline) behaving immaturely (ie. dressing inappropriately, cursing, fighting unnecessarily with partners)--purposely acting like young women in an attempt to keep their man's attention. However, deep inside these middle-aged women feel jilted, angry, and jealous about the relationship between those "cradle-robbers," as they put it, and " young thangs." These women's snarky comments, reveal a lot about their insecurities, unresolved issues, and more.
Men who date younger have spoken online and other places saying, "they don't like to feel old, menopausal women make them feel old." I guess if one complains often about their aches it can be a turn-off. I have heard menopausal women share a long list of issues with their co-workers about things like: vaginal dryness, weight gain, mood disorders--you name it! So if they are talking about these things at work, I can only imagine how much more they are sharing with partners!
I would also assume that if a woman isn't taking care of herself both inside and out, her man is going to stray. He is not going to keep being understanding if his wife/girlfriend keeps telling him, "I'm sorry I can't have sex tonight...these hot flashes are killing me...don't touch me. Leave me alone!" A weak man is going to eventually lust or look for a woman who he hopes will make him feel better than the last. He is going to watch for the woman who doesn't have as many women issues as those who are more mature. Remember,the old adage, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks?" This is also true for the mature women as well.
Some mature men grow weary of telling so-called responsible women (both young and old) to take care of themselves. Notice I didn't say all. From smelly (you know what) to managing money, women who don't take heed to advice that their mother may have told them or should have, will not keep any man around for long!
Being that I am not middle-aged yet and not considered youthful either by societal standards, I can date men both young and old (since my face and body at times is deceiving for some), I am personally indifferent to the topic of dating older and younger now that I am headed for the big 40, yet I do like to write about it and share my observations. But really, who are the individuals who get a rise when the topic of older men, dating younger women arises? Scorned middle-aged mothers and daughters, they care. "Dad left mom for a younger woman who's like my age, wtf!?" Her mom yells, "Go back to that baby, you call a girlfriend, Pig, Chester the Molester!"
These women care a whole lot! The insecure wife is often left alone while her husband plays with the twenty-something year olds who could care less that the man is married. Mom, on low self-esteem, hurts inside because she once looked a certain way and now thanks to society, she is forced to try to work on a face that is no longer holding make-up well. She despises her body shape and will often comment about others being "...so small...Look at her...I wish I had her body..." Meanwhile, her daughter just doesn't see men in the same way. She wonders what the future holds. She is angered that the young lady is old enough to be her friend. She thinks, "Why is my dad so stupid?" Hormones played an impact on dad's decision-making especially if the young woman is old enough to be his daughter. Sure, there were other reasons that made him like the girl, but most assuredly a mentally stable man, who has a relatively good life and his relationship has very few issues, is not going to suddenly abandon it for a young woman. But unstable men do it all the time and cover up the true reasons with a barrage of mainstream excuses. The ignorant overlook the deception and don't bother to think deeply about the topic. "So it happens, old guy, young lady, who cares?" They dismiss all reasoning; instead, some just say, "S$%t happens." While they move on, middle-age issues live on.
Nicholl McGuire
.
I thought of this topic yet again (already wrote about it in the past on other sites and this one) as to why a man dates younger when I noticed many middle-aged women (both on and offline) behaving immaturely (ie. dressing inappropriately, cursing, fighting unnecessarily with partners)--purposely acting like young women in an attempt to keep their man's attention. However, deep inside these middle-aged women feel jilted, angry, and jealous about the relationship between those "cradle-robbers," as they put it, and " young thangs." These women's snarky comments, reveal a lot about their insecurities, unresolved issues, and more.
Men who date younger have spoken online and other places saying, "they don't like to feel old, menopausal women make them feel old." I guess if one complains often about their aches it can be a turn-off. I have heard menopausal women share a long list of issues with their co-workers about things like: vaginal dryness, weight gain, mood disorders--you name it! So if they are talking about these things at work, I can only imagine how much more they are sharing with partners!
I would also assume that if a woman isn't taking care of herself both inside and out, her man is going to stray. He is not going to keep being understanding if his wife/girlfriend keeps telling him, "I'm sorry I can't have sex tonight...these hot flashes are killing me...don't touch me. Leave me alone!" A weak man is going to eventually lust or look for a woman who he hopes will make him feel better than the last. He is going to watch for the woman who doesn't have as many women issues as those who are more mature. Remember,the old adage, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks?" This is also true for the mature women as well.
Some mature men grow weary of telling so-called responsible women (both young and old) to take care of themselves. Notice I didn't say all. From smelly (you know what) to managing money, women who don't take heed to advice that their mother may have told them or should have, will not keep any man around for long!
Being that I am not middle-aged yet and not considered youthful either by societal standards, I can date men both young and old (since my face and body at times is deceiving for some), I am personally indifferent to the topic of dating older and younger now that I am headed for the big 40, yet I do like to write about it and share my observations. But really, who are the individuals who get a rise when the topic of older men, dating younger women arises? Scorned middle-aged mothers and daughters, they care. "Dad left mom for a younger woman who's like my age, wtf!?" Her mom yells, "Go back to that baby, you call a girlfriend, Pig, Chester the Molester!"
These women care a whole lot! The insecure wife is often left alone while her husband plays with the twenty-something year olds who could care less that the man is married. Mom, on low self-esteem, hurts inside because she once looked a certain way and now thanks to society, she is forced to try to work on a face that is no longer holding make-up well. She despises her body shape and will often comment about others being "...so small...Look at her...I wish I had her body..." Meanwhile, her daughter just doesn't see men in the same way. She wonders what the future holds. She is angered that the young lady is old enough to be her friend. She thinks, "Why is my dad so stupid?" Hormones played an impact on dad's decision-making especially if the young woman is old enough to be his daughter. Sure, there were other reasons that made him like the girl, but most assuredly a mentally stable man, who has a relatively good life and his relationship has very few issues, is not going to suddenly abandon it for a young woman. But unstable men do it all the time and cover up the true reasons with a barrage of mainstream excuses. The ignorant overlook the deception and don't bother to think deeply about the topic. "So it happens, old guy, young lady, who cares?" They dismiss all reasoning; instead, some just say, "S$%t happens." While they move on, middle-age issues live on.
Nicholl McGuire
.
Wednesday
Sunday
7 Signs an Age-Gap Relationship is Over
You might have noticed a partner isn't acting like he or she is interested in staying in a relationship with you. However, you don't want to assume the worse unless you see the following signs.
1. He/she often complains about the other, to not only family and friends, but strangers too.
Jokes, insults and other statements that make one angry come up all-too-often. One's partner feels like he or she is not liked much less loved. When feelings of upset are mentioned, the offending one acts uncaring and doesn't acknowledge his or her partner's concerns.
2. He/she has feelings of regret having met the other.
"I knew she was too young...I should have listened to my family--he's too old." The thoughts plague one's mind to the point where there are feelings of discontent and regret left behind.
3. There is a disconnect when conversing about important matters.
From topics about one's plans to issues about a job, when the couple talks to one another there is no attempt at making one another feel comfortable and secure in the relationship. Statements like: "I don't get you...You don't understand...why do I bother talking to you..." increasingly come up during discussions.
4. Plans of a future together are discontinued or no longer discussed.
When someone mentions marriage, children, buying a house, moving in together, etc., the couple isn't the least bit interested. They have avoided all communication about being together long-term, if anything, they are planning to break up in the near future.
5. Frequent disputes including threats or violent attacks.
Unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment have taken root. No matter how hard they try, nothing helps. They think about paying one another back for the last incident that left one or both with hurt feelings.
6. Thoughts of cheating increase or has already been done repeatedly.
Everyone else looks better than one's mate. So thoughts of a new relationship with someone else are heavy on the mind if he or she hasn't already begun the process.
7. Lies and cover-ups about one's feelings gradually stop occurring.
The liar or cheat starts getting sloppy with their cover-ups and false story-telling. They are showing no signs of wanting to stay in a relationship.
Once it is confirmed in your mind, body and spirit that your girlfriend or guyfriend isn't interested in you anymore, move on with your life. Save yourself the drama of make-up to break up. When a man or woman is no longer interested in being with one's current partner, things only get worse, they don't get any better no matter how many promises are made.
Nicholl McGuire
1. He/she often complains about the other, to not only family and friends, but strangers too.
Jokes, insults and other statements that make one angry come up all-too-often. One's partner feels like he or she is not liked much less loved. When feelings of upset are mentioned, the offending one acts uncaring and doesn't acknowledge his or her partner's concerns.
2. He/she has feelings of regret having met the other.
"I knew she was too young...I should have listened to my family--he's too old." The thoughts plague one's mind to the point where there are feelings of discontent and regret left behind.
3. There is a disconnect when conversing about important matters.
From topics about one's plans to issues about a job, when the couple talks to one another there is no attempt at making one another feel comfortable and secure in the relationship. Statements like: "I don't get you...You don't understand...why do I bother talking to you..." increasingly come up during discussions.
4. Plans of a future together are discontinued or no longer discussed.
When someone mentions marriage, children, buying a house, moving in together, etc., the couple isn't the least bit interested. They have avoided all communication about being together long-term, if anything, they are planning to break up in the near future.
5. Frequent disputes including threats or violent attacks.
Unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment have taken root. No matter how hard they try, nothing helps. They think about paying one another back for the last incident that left one or both with hurt feelings.
6. Thoughts of cheating increase or has already been done repeatedly.
Everyone else looks better than one's mate. So thoughts of a new relationship with someone else are heavy on the mind if he or she hasn't already begun the process.
7. Lies and cover-ups about one's feelings gradually stop occurring.
The liar or cheat starts getting sloppy with their cover-ups and false story-telling. They are showing no signs of wanting to stay in a relationship.
Once it is confirmed in your mind, body and spirit that your girlfriend or guyfriend isn't interested in you anymore, move on with your life. Save yourself the drama of make-up to break up. When a man or woman is no longer interested in being with one's current partner, things only get worse, they don't get any better no matter how many promises are made.
Nicholl McGuire
Friday
Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts for a Young Woman
Most men will show up at a lady friend's door with flowers and candy, this is still a hit with most women. However, what if she has allergies and chocolate isn't her favorite candy? Here are simple, inexpensive gifts to make her smile.
1. Something she has often mentioned and still has yet to buy. For the men who pay close attention to their dates, try getting a few of those inexpensive things and then include a Valentine's Day card mentioning that, "I was listening when you said you needed..."
2. A cute box to hold future clutter with something inside like a decorative picture frame of the two of you is memorable. Include a card.
3. His and hers anything with a note. From a couple of pretty wine glasses to a quality towel set, these items say, "I still believe in our relationship..."
4. Costume jewelry is only good when it does have lots of gold and other paint on it that can easily come off. Look closely for signs of tarnishing. Also, keep in mind, that if she doesn't typically wear beaded items, decorative charms, etc. and has skin allergies, don't take the chance buying cheaply made items.
5. Valentine's day is also a good time to pass on a family heirloom for committed couples--not those who are just getting to know one another.
6. Create a handmade card and include a bottle of perfume that you would like to smell on her.
7. Purchase a gift card to her favorite store, nail or beauty shop.
8. Write a letter and include an I.O.U. coupon promising to take her to an outing, perform a service, or something else since you forgot to plan for the holiday.
Other things include: balloons, stuffed animals, a pretty red or pink shirt, an accessory by a favorite designer, a book of a favorite celebrity, something engraved with her name on it...
Remember, these are items you would give someone you are just getting to know. But women who have been around for years, you will have to do better! Electronics, gold or sterling silver jewelry, birthstones, airplane tickets, money, pay off a bill, help with chores for the day--unexpected things always blow them away!
Have a Happy Valentines Day!
Nicholl McGuire
1. Something she has often mentioned and still has yet to buy. For the men who pay close attention to their dates, try getting a few of those inexpensive things and then include a Valentine's Day card mentioning that, "I was listening when you said you needed..."
2. A cute box to hold future clutter with something inside like a decorative picture frame of the two of you is memorable. Include a card.
3. His and hers anything with a note. From a couple of pretty wine glasses to a quality towel set, these items say, "I still believe in our relationship..."
4. Costume jewelry is only good when it does have lots of gold and other paint on it that can easily come off. Look closely for signs of tarnishing. Also, keep in mind, that if she doesn't typically wear beaded items, decorative charms, etc. and has skin allergies, don't take the chance buying cheaply made items.
5. Valentine's day is also a good time to pass on a family heirloom for committed couples--not those who are just getting to know one another.
6. Create a handmade card and include a bottle of perfume that you would like to smell on her.
7. Purchase a gift card to her favorite store, nail or beauty shop.
8. Write a letter and include an I.O.U. coupon promising to take her to an outing, perform a service, or something else since you forgot to plan for the holiday.
Other things include: balloons, stuffed animals, a pretty red or pink shirt, an accessory by a favorite designer, a book of a favorite celebrity, something engraved with her name on it...
Remember, these are items you would give someone you are just getting to know. But women who have been around for years, you will have to do better! Electronics, gold or sterling silver jewelry, birthstones, airplane tickets, money, pay off a bill, help with chores for the day--unexpected things always blow them away!
Have a Happy Valentines Day!
Nicholl McGuire
How to Date an Older Man
Over 40 plus male interested in a youthful beauty in her 20s, but his eye candy doesn't have a clue on how to date older men. So she acts strangely, distant, and even nervous when he talks to her.
There really isn't anything that different when it comes to dating a man, young or old. Of course, most personalities, social class, political views, appearance, and other things are different, but simple communication is basic. So choose to focus on that rather than everything else that society has bombarded you with.
"What's your name? How are you? What do you like to do? Would you like to go out sometime?" says the older gentleman. His approach isn't complex. The young woman can say, "Yes..." or "No..." real simple, right? Well for some young women, they act as if there is something so different in dating an older man to the point that they worry themselves. While out on a date, it is obvious that some are uncomfortable and lack confidence. One can shake off feelings of worry by talking about the atmosphere, sharing details about interests, and asking questions while smiling and laughing at a joke or two.
Older men who have dated much, know how to put their dates at ease. This is key in having a good time while on a date. They may say something shocking to get a reaction or joke about someone standing nearby. Most know not to stare at their dates as if they want to undress her at the moment or make statements that only make a date want to run and hide. Men who are confident in who they are and really want to make a great impression on their young dates will take it slow. There is no rush to be anywhere. They have made the time to listen to a long story. They enjoy getting to know their young beauties.
Things to consider when dating someone more mature.
1. Don't think of him as someone so important, so smart, and so whatever else that you can't have a simple conversation with him.
2. Forget about what you think you know about him. Ask questions to find out more. "What is your profession? Can it be challenging, how so? Do you hope to do something else in the future? What are some things that you have accomplished in your life that you are most proud of?" These questions and more will open up a quality dialogue.
3. Don't assume he has dated so many sweet, nice, and intelligent women that you are less than acceptable to date someone of his social class or age. Think: if he had so much success with women why is he still single? He is flawed like you, so be prepared for anything.
4. Don't say "Yes" when you really mean "No." Before you date anyone, you should already have personal boundaries established. Tell yourself, "I don't know this person well enough to kiss, have sex, commit to a relationship, etc." This way you won't be caught off guard if he should attempt to persuade you to go to bed with him. Also, don't say "Yes" to impress when you know nothing about a topic, a certain food, a location, etc. He will find out eventually that you are lying.
5. Talk about things that matter to you and watch his reaction. Players will digress from serious topics. They are more concerned about getting physical needs met and not how you feel about your job, family, and other important things.
6. From a restaurant to a private spot to make-out, avoid going anywhere you don't feel comfortable. The skill level of gaining a woman's trust is very good with a mature man, so good, that a young, gullible woman just might fall for anything. So when in doubt, don't continue to go out.
7. Stay away from conversation about your past boyfriends, jokes about mid-life, and things you know that if he was to bring up certain topics you might be offended.
The more knowledge you have about mature gentlemen, the better! You will find that one's worries about dating someone older were unnecessary. Tell yourself, "I am good enough to date any man of status. I am intelligent, beautiful, and am going places in life. I'm just as interesting, if not more, than my date. I deserve to be heard." Stating positive affirmations before going out on a date while viewing one's self in the mirror are empowering!
Have a great time!
Nicholl McGuire writes more tips on dating here.
There really isn't anything that different when it comes to dating a man, young or old. Of course, most personalities, social class, political views, appearance, and other things are different, but simple communication is basic. So choose to focus on that rather than everything else that society has bombarded you with.
"What's your name? How are you? What do you like to do? Would you like to go out sometime?" says the older gentleman. His approach isn't complex. The young woman can say, "Yes..." or "No..." real simple, right? Well for some young women, they act as if there is something so different in dating an older man to the point that they worry themselves. While out on a date, it is obvious that some are uncomfortable and lack confidence. One can shake off feelings of worry by talking about the atmosphere, sharing details about interests, and asking questions while smiling and laughing at a joke or two.
Older men who have dated much, know how to put their dates at ease. This is key in having a good time while on a date. They may say something shocking to get a reaction or joke about someone standing nearby. Most know not to stare at their dates as if they want to undress her at the moment or make statements that only make a date want to run and hide. Men who are confident in who they are and really want to make a great impression on their young dates will take it slow. There is no rush to be anywhere. They have made the time to listen to a long story. They enjoy getting to know their young beauties.
Things to consider when dating someone more mature.
1. Don't think of him as someone so important, so smart, and so whatever else that you can't have a simple conversation with him.
2. Forget about what you think you know about him. Ask questions to find out more. "What is your profession? Can it be challenging, how so? Do you hope to do something else in the future? What are some things that you have accomplished in your life that you are most proud of?" These questions and more will open up a quality dialogue.
3. Don't assume he has dated so many sweet, nice, and intelligent women that you are less than acceptable to date someone of his social class or age. Think: if he had so much success with women why is he still single? He is flawed like you, so be prepared for anything.
4. Don't say "Yes" when you really mean "No." Before you date anyone, you should already have personal boundaries established. Tell yourself, "I don't know this person well enough to kiss, have sex, commit to a relationship, etc." This way you won't be caught off guard if he should attempt to persuade you to go to bed with him. Also, don't say "Yes" to impress when you know nothing about a topic, a certain food, a location, etc. He will find out eventually that you are lying.
5. Talk about things that matter to you and watch his reaction. Players will digress from serious topics. They are more concerned about getting physical needs met and not how you feel about your job, family, and other important things.
6. From a restaurant to a private spot to make-out, avoid going anywhere you don't feel comfortable. The skill level of gaining a woman's trust is very good with a mature man, so good, that a young, gullible woman just might fall for anything. So when in doubt, don't continue to go out.
7. Stay away from conversation about your past boyfriends, jokes about mid-life, and things you know that if he was to bring up certain topics you might be offended.
The more knowledge you have about mature gentlemen, the better! You will find that one's worries about dating someone older were unnecessary. Tell yourself, "I am good enough to date any man of status. I am intelligent, beautiful, and am going places in life. I'm just as interesting, if not more, than my date. I deserve to be heard." Stating positive affirmations before going out on a date while viewing one's self in the mirror are empowering!
Have a great time!
Nicholl McGuire writes more tips on dating here.
Thursday
His Wife Ended the Relationship for Good Reason - He's Far from Perfect
"That is just so wrong what she did to you...you are a good guy...well, that's okay, I'm not like her," says the young woman who doesn't know any better. She believes that because she is in the middle-aged man's life that all will be okay, but will it? Rather than be critical or assume falsely she was a bad ex, a wise young woman would ask herself, "What did the ex-husband do to drive the poor woman insane?" Then she would be observant of everything the man is doing and saying to her and others while making a determination whether or not she could tolerate her lover in the long-term.
The ex-wife (or wives) drove him out the family home for reasons beyond what those closest to the former couple knows. She signed the divorce papers with good cause. There was something wrong, terribly wrong with the man she once fell in love with and she could no longer subject herself to her former husband's abusive ways. Abuse comes in many forms besides physical--a person can only put up with so much before the mind and body beg to be rid of The Problem.
Often the talk of male midlife crisis comes up when an older man dates a younger woman, but what rarely is mentioned in troubled relationships is personality disorders. You may have welcomed a broken man into your life who has yet to unveil his true colors. From bipolar disorder to schizophrenia, there are many 40 plus men with mental issues, in addition to male midlife challenges, that are too complex to deal with for an ex-wife much less a young lover. These men may have even stumped a few doctors over the years with all their problems.
Sometimes young women will speculate on how and why things ended in their mate's last relationship based on what he says. However, as she learns more about his past, she discovers that there was really more to her lover's reasons for the break up than what he cared to mention.
Personality disorders aren't to be taken lightly. They can't be dismissed when they manifest themselves under great stress then stick around a lot longer than expected. Men tend to do many unorthodox things when they can't get a grip on what is happening on the inside of their mind, body and spirit and aren't much interested in getting necessary help. What's worse, busy people, with full schedules, don't see the signs a relative or friend is indeed falling apart. Others choose to ignore these troubled males, because they don't want to take on yet another burden. They say, "He will be okay...I will just pray about...I hope he doesn't hurt anyone. Maybe he will break up with his new lady friend before she learns how he truly is."
The menopausal wife who decided to give her ex the walking papers decided to deal with her own issues apart from a troubled husband. She refused to keep assisting someone who may have hurt her very badly all the while refusing to change.
The young woman might want to think twice about her older date's history before committing. If she should make a rash decision, she may learn later that she indeed bit off more than she could chew. If one reading this has mental issues, be honest with your partner, take necessary medications/vitamin supplements and don't expect someone to be the cure all for your emotional and hormonal issues.
For others dating older, pay attention to signs that an older man has a personality disorder by doing things like:
1. Watching the way he looks at you. Does his stare make you feel uncomfortable to the point that you want to get out of his presence?
2. Do you fight with thoughts inside your mind of staying with him or breaking up?
3. Do you often find yourself being blamed by him for things you didn't think or do?
4. Does he frequently put words in your mouth or twist your communication?
5. Is he controlling and forbids you to go places or see certain people?
6. Does he fight with you about things that shouldn't matter much like a simple statement or comment to help him?
7. Does he have subtle or bold quirks about him or strange mannerisms that others would say, "There's something not quite right with him."
Anger outbursts, silent treatment, pressure that keeps you tensed/emotional, false accusations, sneaky or unexplainable behavior, sexual problems, and frequent lying are all signs that there is definitely something wrong with a friend.
Nicholl McGuire
The ex-wife (or wives) drove him out the family home for reasons beyond what those closest to the former couple knows. She signed the divorce papers with good cause. There was something wrong, terribly wrong with the man she once fell in love with and she could no longer subject herself to her former husband's abusive ways. Abuse comes in many forms besides physical--a person can only put up with so much before the mind and body beg to be rid of The Problem.
Often the talk of male midlife crisis comes up when an older man dates a younger woman, but what rarely is mentioned in troubled relationships is personality disorders. You may have welcomed a broken man into your life who has yet to unveil his true colors. From bipolar disorder to schizophrenia, there are many 40 plus men with mental issues, in addition to male midlife challenges, that are too complex to deal with for an ex-wife much less a young lover. These men may have even stumped a few doctors over the years with all their problems.
Sometimes young women will speculate on how and why things ended in their mate's last relationship based on what he says. However, as she learns more about his past, she discovers that there was really more to her lover's reasons for the break up than what he cared to mention.
Personality disorders aren't to be taken lightly. They can't be dismissed when they manifest themselves under great stress then stick around a lot longer than expected. Men tend to do many unorthodox things when they can't get a grip on what is happening on the inside of their mind, body and spirit and aren't much interested in getting necessary help. What's worse, busy people, with full schedules, don't see the signs a relative or friend is indeed falling apart. Others choose to ignore these troubled males, because they don't want to take on yet another burden. They say, "He will be okay...I will just pray about...I hope he doesn't hurt anyone. Maybe he will break up with his new lady friend before she learns how he truly is."
The menopausal wife who decided to give her ex the walking papers decided to deal with her own issues apart from a troubled husband. She refused to keep assisting someone who may have hurt her very badly all the while refusing to change.
The young woman might want to think twice about her older date's history before committing. If she should make a rash decision, she may learn later that she indeed bit off more than she could chew. If one reading this has mental issues, be honest with your partner, take necessary medications/vitamin supplements and don't expect someone to be the cure all for your emotional and hormonal issues.
For others dating older, pay attention to signs that an older man has a personality disorder by doing things like:
1. Watching the way he looks at you. Does his stare make you feel uncomfortable to the point that you want to get out of his presence?
2. Do you fight with thoughts inside your mind of staying with him or breaking up?
3. Do you often find yourself being blamed by him for things you didn't think or do?
4. Does he frequently put words in your mouth or twist your communication?
5. Is he controlling and forbids you to go places or see certain people?
6. Does he fight with you about things that shouldn't matter much like a simple statement or comment to help him?
7. Does he have subtle or bold quirks about him or strange mannerisms that others would say, "There's something not quite right with him."
Anger outbursts, silent treatment, pressure that keeps you tensed/emotional, false accusations, sneaky or unexplainable behavior, sexual problems, and frequent lying are all signs that there is definitely something wrong with a friend.
Nicholl McGuire
Is it Really Love or Societal Brainwashing? Making Boys out of Grown Men
"If I am more concerned about the way I look and feel while making someone else happy who just so happens to be younger than me, then I am going to overlook those people and things around me that don't feed my ego--no matter how important they might be to me." Sounds like a little crazy thinking, huh? Well, the selfish, arrogant, mid-life male has an interesting way of reasoning why he does what he does. "I need love, I need someone to appreciate me...and by God, I'm going to find her!" How about thinking like this, "I am unhappy right now about many things and rather than focus on someone else or something else making me happy, I choose to focus internally on a broken me, how might I be able to fix me?" Sometimes it is simply a trip to the doctor that helps, a moment with one's Creator, and a supportive network of others who are solving their woes.
Let's face it, we all are aging, even the young women out there, but what seems to be happening is this fight to look and feel younger is messing with many supposedly mature men's minds to the point that they are losing jobs, money, marriages, relationships with children, and more!
I have read comment after comment on various sites about 50 plus year old men finding 20 something young women "compatible, fun, sexy," etc. It is nice to read that many men have found a compatible partner that "...gets me," so some say. However, are they really in love or is it lust? If we were to interview these same men who have been dating for a month, or a year or more later, will they still feel head-over-heels in like/love for their young mates?
With so much media hype about defying age, one can easily band aid one's crisis with someone or something that doesn't remind him or her, "You are getting old..." there are more than enough options. It doesn't help matters when you don't have supportive people around you. Older women tend to make less than uplifiting comments about aging, mature friends will joke about getting older, and even young people will tease the middle-aged about what they look like, but for some men it is no laughing matter about growing older, so they defy it by doing just about anything that says, "You still got it, man!"
Many mature men aren't interested in young women simply because they don't want to take advantage of them, they are like daughters in their eyes. These men consider themselves wise and aren't the least bit interested in seeking a fountain of youth. They love their wives, appreciate their sons and daughters, and are content with who they are--gray hair and all! Some mid-life men who aren't so blessed to have a family that is still intact, refuse to allow media brainwashing to make them feel like they ought to find someone younger to complete them, so they too opt out of the age gap dating scene.
When one is in love, of course, age doesn't matter, flaws are of little concern, and one is enamored with all there is, beauty, brains, body--you name it! But every now and then, the idea will pop up in a mid-life man's mind that his young partner will awake to a harsh reality. "He just is too old for me...he isn't what I had in mind...what am I missing out on by being with him...how much longer will he be able to satisfy me sexually? I think my parents are right, he's just too d*mn old!"
One must contemplate whether a May-December relationship is just that, meant to be only months long, rather than years. Tricks are for kids and one who is maturing and aware that time is important, doesn't want to play any games with his life. Yet, society plays mind games on many middle-aged men by telling them to do things like: watch games made for boys, play games made for boys, buy boys' toys, and sit amongst The Boys. So if one is so focused on activities made for boys, where does a mature woman fit in? She doesn't. So off he goes with the girlfriend meant for a boy not for a man--get it? Thinking back, what do most young adult boys do anyway? Lust after young girls then have sex with them. They play a sport or two, work a job, spend money on an expensive toy, drink alcohol, travel, and do it all over again tomorrow without a care--that is until the following happens: someone says, "I love you!" She contracts an STD, says she's pregnant, wants to get married, asks for one's money or wants to drive his car, now the adult boy is forced to become a man. Now what he does with that young woman, during those trials, will determine how much of a man he truly is-- age is irrelevant. "I don't know what to do...why didn't you protect yourself...who were you sleeping with...you aren't getting my money...you aren't driving my car...you're not my wife...I'm not marrying you!" The adult boy, full of regret, plays the blame game, looks for an escape, and acts selfishly. This is why he can't last with a woman his own age, the mind has yet to mature. And how will it, when he constantly permits himself to be programmed by people and systems who are unsupportive of the natural aging process?
We must all take some time to question our motives, our feelings, and why we do what we do. For some mature men, young women lose their shine after awhile, especially when some ladies can see through an adult boy's games. They know when they are being played, and sooner or later they will either create a game of their own or bail out. Some mature men lose their shine because they just don't get the younger women particularly the wise ones. However, young women don't become wise overnight and neither do adult boys who still have a lot of growing up to do! Both need time to understand who they are before they can understand one another and they must also recognize when they are being brainwashed by the powers that be. Is he really having a male midlife? Is she really seeking a father figure?
In closing, men: avoid the "boys will be boys" mentality coupled with age defiance, and get real with yourself, your family, and that one you claim you love!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books. She is looking to advance her virtual assistant role and small self-publishing business in the near future. Learn more here. Angel investors are welcome!
Let's face it, we all are aging, even the young women out there, but what seems to be happening is this fight to look and feel younger is messing with many supposedly mature men's minds to the point that they are losing jobs, money, marriages, relationships with children, and more!
I have read comment after comment on various sites about 50 plus year old men finding 20 something young women "compatible, fun, sexy," etc. It is nice to read that many men have found a compatible partner that "...gets me," so some say. However, are they really in love or is it lust? If we were to interview these same men who have been dating for a month, or a year or more later, will they still feel head-over-heels in like/love for their young mates?
With so much media hype about defying age, one can easily band aid one's crisis with someone or something that doesn't remind him or her, "You are getting old..." there are more than enough options. It doesn't help matters when you don't have supportive people around you. Older women tend to make less than uplifiting comments about aging, mature friends will joke about getting older, and even young people will tease the middle-aged about what they look like, but for some men it is no laughing matter about growing older, so they defy it by doing just about anything that says, "You still got it, man!"
Many mature men aren't interested in young women simply because they don't want to take advantage of them, they are like daughters in their eyes. These men consider themselves wise and aren't the least bit interested in seeking a fountain of youth. They love their wives, appreciate their sons and daughters, and are content with who they are--gray hair and all! Some mid-life men who aren't so blessed to have a family that is still intact, refuse to allow media brainwashing to make them feel like they ought to find someone younger to complete them, so they too opt out of the age gap dating scene.
When one is in love, of course, age doesn't matter, flaws are of little concern, and one is enamored with all there is, beauty, brains, body--you name it! But every now and then, the idea will pop up in a mid-life man's mind that his young partner will awake to a harsh reality. "He just is too old for me...he isn't what I had in mind...what am I missing out on by being with him...how much longer will he be able to satisfy me sexually? I think my parents are right, he's just too d*mn old!"
One must contemplate whether a May-December relationship is just that, meant to be only months long, rather than years. Tricks are for kids and one who is maturing and aware that time is important, doesn't want to play any games with his life. Yet, society plays mind games on many middle-aged men by telling them to do things like: watch games made for boys, play games made for boys, buy boys' toys, and sit amongst The Boys. So if one is so focused on activities made for boys, where does a mature woman fit in? She doesn't. So off he goes with the girlfriend meant for a boy not for a man--get it? Thinking back, what do most young adult boys do anyway? Lust after young girls then have sex with them. They play a sport or two, work a job, spend money on an expensive toy, drink alcohol, travel, and do it all over again tomorrow without a care--that is until the following happens: someone says, "I love you!" She contracts an STD, says she's pregnant, wants to get married, asks for one's money or wants to drive his car, now the adult boy is forced to become a man. Now what he does with that young woman, during those trials, will determine how much of a man he truly is-- age is irrelevant. "I don't know what to do...why didn't you protect yourself...who were you sleeping with...you aren't getting my money...you aren't driving my car...you're not my wife...I'm not marrying you!" The adult boy, full of regret, plays the blame game, looks for an escape, and acts selfishly. This is why he can't last with a woman his own age, the mind has yet to mature. And how will it, when he constantly permits himself to be programmed by people and systems who are unsupportive of the natural aging process?
We must all take some time to question our motives, our feelings, and why we do what we do. For some mature men, young women lose their shine after awhile, especially when some ladies can see through an adult boy's games. They know when they are being played, and sooner or later they will either create a game of their own or bail out. Some mature men lose their shine because they just don't get the younger women particularly the wise ones. However, young women don't become wise overnight and neither do adult boys who still have a lot of growing up to do! Both need time to understand who they are before they can understand one another and they must also recognize when they are being brainwashed by the powers that be. Is he really having a male midlife? Is she really seeking a father figure?
In closing, men: avoid the "boys will be boys" mentality coupled with age defiance, and get real with yourself, your family, and that one you claim you love!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books. She is looking to advance her virtual assistant role and small self-publishing business in the near future. Learn more here. Angel investors are welcome!
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