Is it Really Love or Societal Brainwashing? Making Boys out of Grown Men

"If I am more concerned about the way I look and feel while making someone else happy who just so happens to be younger than me, then I am going to overlook those people and things around me that don't feed my ego--no matter how important they might be to me."  Sounds like a little crazy thinking, huh?  Well, the selfish, arrogant, mid-life male has an interesting way of reasoning why he does what he does.  "I need love, I need someone to appreciate me...and by God, I'm going to find her!"  How about thinking like this, "I am unhappy right now about many things and rather than focus on someone else or something else making me happy, I choose to focus internally on a broken me, how might I be able to fix me?"  Sometimes it is simply a trip to the doctor that helps, a moment with one's Creator, and a supportive network of others who are solving their woes.

Let's face it, we all are aging, even the young women out there, but what seems to be happening is this fight to look and feel younger is messing with many supposedly mature men's minds to the point that they are losing jobs, money, marriages, relationships with children, and more!

I have read comment after comment on various sites about 50 plus year old men finding 20 something young women "compatible, fun, sexy," etc.  It is nice to read that many men have found a compatible partner that "...gets me," so some say.  However, are they really in love or is it lust?  If we were to interview these same men who have been dating for a month, or a year or more later, will they still feel head-over-heels in like/love for their young mates?

With so much media hype about defying age, one can easily band aid one's crisis with someone or something that doesn't remind him or her, "You are getting old..." there are more than enough options.  It doesn't help matters when you don't have supportive people around you.  Older women tend to make less than uplifiting comments about aging, mature friends will joke about getting older, and even young people will tease the middle-aged about what they look like, but for some men it is no laughing matter about growing older, so they defy it by doing just about anything that says, "You still got it, man!" 

Many mature men aren't interested in young women simply because they don't want to take advantage of them, they are like daughters in their eyes.  These men consider themselves wise and aren't the least bit interested in seeking a fountain of youth.  They love their wives, appreciate their sons and daughters, and are content with who they are--gray hair and all!  Some mid-life men who aren't so blessed to have a family that is still intact, refuse to allow media brainwashing to make them feel like they ought to find someone younger to complete them, so they too opt out of the age gap dating scene. 

When one is in love, of course, age doesn't matter, flaws are of little concern, and one is enamored with all there is, beauty, brains, body--you name it!  But every now and then, the idea will pop up in a mid-life man's mind that his young partner will awake to a harsh reality.  "He just is too old for me...he isn't what I had in mind...what am I missing out on by being with him...how much longer will he be able to satisfy me sexually?  I think my parents are right, he's just too d*mn old!"

One must contemplate whether a May-December relationship is just that, meant to be only months long, rather than years.  Tricks are for kids and one who is maturing and aware that time is important, doesn't want to play any games with his life.  Yet, society plays mind games on many middle-aged men by telling them to do things like: watch games made for boys, play games made for boys, buy boys' toys, and sit amongst The Boys.  So if one is so focused on activities made for boys, where does a mature woman fit in?  She doesn't.  So off he goes with the girlfriend meant for a boy not for a man--get it?  Thinking back, what do most young adult boys do anyway?  Lust after young girls then have sex with them.  They play a sport or two, work a job, spend money on an expensive toy, drink alcohol, travel, and do it all over again tomorrow without a care--that is until the following happens:  someone says, "I love you!"  She contracts an STD, says she's pregnant, wants to get married, asks for one's money or wants to drive his car, now the adult boy is forced to become a man.  Now what he does with that young woman, during those trials, will determine how much of a man he truly is-- age is irrelevant.  "I don't know what to do...why didn't you protect yourself...who were you sleeping with...you aren't getting my money...you aren't driving my car...you're not my wife...I'm not marrying you!"  The adult boy, full of regret, plays the blame game, looks for an escape, and acts selfishly.  This is why he can't last with a woman his own age, the mind has yet to mature.  And how will it, when he constantly permits himself to be programmed by people and systems who are unsupportive of the natural aging process?

We must all take some time to question our motives, our feelings, and why we do what we do.  For some mature men, young women lose their shine after awhile, especially when some ladies can see through an adult boy's games.  They know when they are being played, and sooner or later they will either create a game of their own or bail out.  Some mature men lose their shine because they just don't get the younger women particularly the wise ones.  However, young women don't become wise overnight and neither do adult boys who still have a lot of growing up to do!  Both need time to understand who they are before they can understand one another and they must also recognize when they are being brainwashed by the powers that be.   Is he really having a male midlife?  Is she really seeking a father figure? 

In closing, men: avoid the "boys will be boys" mentality coupled with age defiance, and get real with yourself, your family, and that one you claim you love!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books.  She is looking to advance her virtual assistant role and small self-publishing business in the near future.  Learn more here.  Angel investors are welcome!