Friday

How to Date an Older Man

Over 40 plus male interested in a youthful beauty in her 20s, but his eye candy doesn't have a clue on how to date older men.  So she acts strangely, distant, and even nervous when he talks to her. 

There really isn't anything that different when it comes to dating a man, young or old.  Of course, most personalities, social class, political views, appearance, and other things are different, but simple communication is basic.  So choose to focus on that rather than everything else that society has bombarded you with. 

"What's your name?  How are you?  What do you like to do?  Would you like to go out sometime?"  says the older gentleman.  His approach isn't complex.  The young woman can say, "Yes..." or "No..." real simple, right?  Well for some young women, they act as if there is something so different in dating an older man to the point that they worry themselves.  While out on a date, it is obvious that some are uncomfortable and lack confidence.  One can shake off feelings of worry by talking about the atmosphere, sharing details about interests, and asking questions while smiling and laughing at a joke or two.

Older men who have dated much, know how to put their dates at ease.  This is key in having a good time while on a date.  They may say something shocking to get a reaction or joke about someone standing nearby.  Most know not to stare at their dates as if they want to undress her at the moment or make statements that only make a date want to run and hide.  Men who are confident in who they are and really want to make a great impression on their young dates will take it slow.  There is no rush to be anywhere.  They have made the time to listen to a long story.  They enjoy getting to know their young beauties.

Things to consider when dating someone more mature.

1.  Don't think of him as someone so important, so smart, and so whatever else that you can't have a simple conversation with him.

2.  Forget about what you think you know about him.  Ask questions to find out more.  "What is your profession?  Can it be challenging, how so?  Do you hope to do something else in the future?  What are some things that you have accomplished in your life that you are most proud of?"  These questions and more will open up a quality dialogue.

3.  Don't assume he has dated so many sweet, nice, and intelligent women that you are less than acceptable to date someone of his social class or age.  Think: if he had so much success with women why is he still single?  He is flawed like you, so be prepared for anything.

4.  Don't say "Yes" when you really mean "No."  Before you date anyone, you should already have personal boundaries established.  Tell yourself, "I don't know this person well enough to kiss, have sex, commit to a relationship, etc."  This way you won't be caught off guard if he should attempt to persuade you to go to bed with him.  Also, don't say "Yes" to impress when you know nothing about a topic, a certain food, a location, etc.  He will find out eventually that you are lying.

5.  Talk about things that matter to you and watch his reaction.  Players will digress from serious topics.  They are more concerned about getting physical needs met and not how you feel about your job, family, and other important things.

6.  From a restaurant to a private spot to make-out, avoid going anywhere you don't feel comfortable.  The skill level of gaining a woman's trust is very good with a mature man, so good, that a young, gullible woman just might fall for anything.  So when in doubt, don't continue to go out.

7.  Stay away from conversation about your past boyfriends, jokes about mid-life, and things you know that if he was to bring up certain topics you might be offended.

The more knowledge you have about mature gentlemen, the better!  You will find that one's worries about dating someone older were unnecessary.  Tell yourself, "I am good enough to date any man of status.  I am intelligent, beautiful, and am going places in life.  I'm just as interesting, if not more, than my date.  I deserve to be heard."  Stating positive affirmations before going out on a date while viewing one's self in the mirror are empowering!

Have a great time!

Nicholl McGuire writes more tips on dating here.    

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