I couldn't help but share the following links, because in my experience being around older men, I have found that at a certain point in their lives usually 40 plus, many become easily irritated and downright mean. Some simply can't help themselves, while others know how they are behaving, but don't care or quickly find excuses for their short responses and anger outbursts.
There is nothing nice or sweet about a middle-aged man who is often mean-spirited at home, but totally different at his workplace. However, in time, the two worlds will collide and unfortunately there will be no winners in the end. The tempermental often forgetful man may lose his job, family, friends, and more as a result of his fluctuating hormones due to things like: a lack of exercise, poor eating habits, and an avoidance of vitamins, herbal remedies, or prescription medicines for his conditions.
If you are an older man who is suffering with forgetfulness, moodiness, erectile dysfunction, hot flashes, and more, get some help. If you are with someone like this, make up in your mind whether you are going to direct him to some assistance and support him through these challenging times or leave. But whatever you do, don't Labor to Love an Abusive Mate! Click on the links.
The Irritable Male Syndrome, Why Midlife Men Turn Mean
Tuesday
BBC - Newsbeat - Health - Age gap relationships: Good or bad?
It all depends on who you ask. Read more:
BBC - Newsbeat - Health - Age gap relationships: Good or bad?
BBC - Newsbeat - Health - Age gap relationships: Good or bad?
Most Older Men Don't Want the Younger Woman, He Just Likes to Flirt
Can you tell the difference between an older man who is simply flirting with no strings attached and one who is very interested in dating a younger woman? Some women can't tell while some men couldn't care less--that is unless the young woman is his daughter. There are those young women who falsely assume that any man who visits the drive thru window at a fast food restaurant one too many times in a day to order something with a smile on their faces are interested in them. Others worry that certain men who talk or laugh too long would like to date. The thought for some young women never crosses their mind, the mature man has someone already and is just being nice.
When one is desperate for attention, believes that she can gain something (for nothing) or hopes to find that partner to complete her through a moment of laughter and a wink, she appears weak and silly. Some men like to travel the same route everyday going to and from work, eat at the same restaurant, or shop at the same store. Their frequent visits doesn't always mean he wants the young woman taking his order or ringing the cash register even though their are some men who do these things hoping to make a connection.
A young woman, who mistakes a friendly exchange as something more, might flirt with the mature man, inquire about his personal life, or assume that he might be "the one." Some men, who don't clearly draw the line, will fall for that young woman and eventually destroy their families. So much lost all because a series of friendly encounters grew into a temptation with dire consequences.
Young women as well as older men must pay attention to what signs they might be sending to one another. Mature unavailable men, consider changing up routines when you see that certain women are beginning to act in ways that say, "I'm interested." Single young women, be mindful of that flirtacious male's wedding band, photographs, the children riding in his car, the presence of a woman now and then walking or riding with him, or references he makes about "my wife...my family...my girlfriend." Put yourself in his shoes, would you break up your family for a lover?
Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry
When one is desperate for attention, believes that she can gain something (for nothing) or hopes to find that partner to complete her through a moment of laughter and a wink, she appears weak and silly. Some men like to travel the same route everyday going to and from work, eat at the same restaurant, or shop at the same store. Their frequent visits doesn't always mean he wants the young woman taking his order or ringing the cash register even though their are some men who do these things hoping to make a connection.
A young woman, who mistakes a friendly exchange as something more, might flirt with the mature man, inquire about his personal life, or assume that he might be "the one." Some men, who don't clearly draw the line, will fall for that young woman and eventually destroy their families. So much lost all because a series of friendly encounters grew into a temptation with dire consequences.
Young women as well as older men must pay attention to what signs they might be sending to one another. Mature unavailable men, consider changing up routines when you see that certain women are beginning to act in ways that say, "I'm interested." Single young women, be mindful of that flirtacious male's wedding band, photographs, the children riding in his car, the presence of a woman now and then walking or riding with him, or references he makes about "my wife...my family...my girlfriend." Put yourself in his shoes, would you break up your family for a lover?
Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry
Deception: When the pretty woman, nice man turns ugly
Don't ever feel so comfortable with an older man that you, younger woman, feel as if you can let yourself go. And older man, don't feel that a younger woman will stick around just because you promise to take care of her while pretending you are taking care of yourself. In both situations, you will be found out sooner or later!
Most experts will tell you that men are visual creatures who like to look at attractive women. Well, I will have to say that women like to look at nice looking men too, but beauty isn't high on our list. We can date unattractive men as long as they have other things that attract us to them like a nice body, voice, intelligent, kind, caring, etc. With that said, a younger woman who thinks that she can go from a 10 to a 5 while dating an older man who she feels comfortable with is going to find herself in trouble one day like an ugly, nice man thinking that it's okay to start acting mean now that he has the pretty woman.
How you begin a dating relationship is going to set the foundation for the future. People lose interest quickly when the packaged goods is not what they expected they would be once they have invested in them. If the younger woman advertises, "Fun and sexy with no strings attached." What do you think that older man who stumbles across her profile is going to want from the day he meets her and beyond? So a future of marriage, not likely, if she so desires that kind of relationship with him one day. If the younger woman displays an ad that says, "Christian single seeking an older man who loves God..." She is going to expect that older man to have a faith and attend church with her. Now if he starts going to the club or bar, the relationship is over.
We must be careful what messages we convey to others especially if we are seeking our ideal mate. We also have to be willing to keep up with our image as best we can. The people who have the hardest time maintaining who they are and what they represent are those who are not sincerely what they claim to be. If the older man claims that he is active and outgoing in the beginning of th dating relationship, yet when he starts dating the younger woman, she discovers he is the total opposite of what he says, the younger woman is going to feel deceived and call him out on his false advertising. Why lie or cover who you really are? Why point the finger back at someone when busted in a lie?
The best advice anyone can take from this blog entry is to be on your best behavior while dating, but also stay true to who you are! One shouldn't have to find out the hard way that someone sold them a bag of goods just to get immediate needs met. The pretty woman should stay pretty for as long as she can. The ugly man should stay nice for as long as he can. Don't change the script, so to speak, without telling your date in advance so that he or she won't be shocked. Far too many women wear fake items to enhance their beauty and far too many older men take medicines that make their bodies behave in ways that are unreal. Once all the glitz and glamour and male enhancements wear off, you are left with your true self! Now who is deceiving who?
Nicholl McGuire
Most experts will tell you that men are visual creatures who like to look at attractive women. Well, I will have to say that women like to look at nice looking men too, but beauty isn't high on our list. We can date unattractive men as long as they have other things that attract us to them like a nice body, voice, intelligent, kind, caring, etc. With that said, a younger woman who thinks that she can go from a 10 to a 5 while dating an older man who she feels comfortable with is going to find herself in trouble one day like an ugly, nice man thinking that it's okay to start acting mean now that he has the pretty woman.
How you begin a dating relationship is going to set the foundation for the future. People lose interest quickly when the packaged goods is not what they expected they would be once they have invested in them. If the younger woman advertises, "Fun and sexy with no strings attached." What do you think that older man who stumbles across her profile is going to want from the day he meets her and beyond? So a future of marriage, not likely, if she so desires that kind of relationship with him one day. If the younger woman displays an ad that says, "Christian single seeking an older man who loves God..." She is going to expect that older man to have a faith and attend church with her. Now if he starts going to the club or bar, the relationship is over.
We must be careful what messages we convey to others especially if we are seeking our ideal mate. We also have to be willing to keep up with our image as best we can. The people who have the hardest time maintaining who they are and what they represent are those who are not sincerely what they claim to be. If the older man claims that he is active and outgoing in the beginning of th dating relationship, yet when he starts dating the younger woman, she discovers he is the total opposite of what he says, the younger woman is going to feel deceived and call him out on his false advertising. Why lie or cover who you really are? Why point the finger back at someone when busted in a lie?
The best advice anyone can take from this blog entry is to be on your best behavior while dating, but also stay true to who you are! One shouldn't have to find out the hard way that someone sold them a bag of goods just to get immediate needs met. The pretty woman should stay pretty for as long as she can. The ugly man should stay nice for as long as he can. Don't change the script, so to speak, without telling your date in advance so that he or she won't be shocked. Far too many women wear fake items to enhance their beauty and far too many older men take medicines that make their bodies behave in ways that are unreal. Once all the glitz and glamour and male enhancements wear off, you are left with your true self! Now who is deceiving who?
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
What Does Age Have to Do With It?
So many looks, comments, eye rolls, and more just because someone decides to date younger, a different ethnicity, religion, or income bracket (sigh). When will people learn that there is more to life than their personal experiences? When will people understand that not everyone desires "to stick with their own kind." Most people who have all sorts of hang ups with what others are doing intimately unfortunately don't have a satisfying life. They are either secretly jealous because they can't be with someone that looks even half as fine as the person you are with. They are bitter because they have to work long hours while their mate doesn't bother to do much in the area of finances. The reasons are simply endless as to why people, who are typically bored in their own relationships, feel the need to want to negatively contribute to the lives of others. So how do you keep your head above water so that you are not that one who is alone, jealous, and simply mad that you messed up a good thing because you took advice from a negative individual?
One. Avoid getting mixed up with narrow-minded people who have a twisted mentality when it comes to love, dating, etc. It doesn't matter whether this person is your mother or your best friend, don't listen to someone who cares more about voicing his or her out-dated, ignorant opinions than your personal happiness. The strongest relationships survive because they keep busybodies out!
Two. Don't take yourself, faith, political view, children, job, or anything else so seriously to the point that you miss out on cultivating a great relationship with your partner. If your children, your job and everything else mean the world to you, then you need not look to be in a relationship for long. Intimate relationships thrive on attention and when a partner sees that everyone and everything else is more important, he or she will start thinking about the grass being greener on the other side. It doesn't matter how young, cute, physically fit, or how much money you have, if you don't have time to emotionally and physically connect with your partner then you don't have time for a relationship.
Three. Bring more than meets the eye to your relationship. There are plenty of people in this world that have flashy, nice, sexy, good, exciting things that they care for, drive, build, and do much with, but after awhile things get old. Look beyond what you see. Is there a man or woman in front of you that has more going on besides what they wear and what they do? Part of being in a relationship is discovering the wonderful truths about a person along with how might you be able to help your loved one with the not-so nice stuff.
In closing, do think about the things that make you want to be with your mate beyond this year--that's right plan for the future. What kind of person is this that is worth your time and affection? Are your feelings being reciprocated? Is there someone else who you think would be a better match? Why are you in a relationship with this person? When you can answer questions like this and more, then you know you are on a path toward a committed, serious relationship. But if you find yourself turned off with questions like these or avoid them, then you are not ready to settle down. It would be best to communicate your feelings to your partner only if you believe your mate is hoping for something more with you. But if you aren't completely sure about your feelings, don't say anything until you are prepared for the consequences--good or bad.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.
One. Avoid getting mixed up with narrow-minded people who have a twisted mentality when it comes to love, dating, etc. It doesn't matter whether this person is your mother or your best friend, don't listen to someone who cares more about voicing his or her out-dated, ignorant opinions than your personal happiness. The strongest relationships survive because they keep busybodies out!
Two. Don't take yourself, faith, political view, children, job, or anything else so seriously to the point that you miss out on cultivating a great relationship with your partner. If your children, your job and everything else mean the world to you, then you need not look to be in a relationship for long. Intimate relationships thrive on attention and when a partner sees that everyone and everything else is more important, he or she will start thinking about the grass being greener on the other side. It doesn't matter how young, cute, physically fit, or how much money you have, if you don't have time to emotionally and physically connect with your partner then you don't have time for a relationship.
Three. Bring more than meets the eye to your relationship. There are plenty of people in this world that have flashy, nice, sexy, good, exciting things that they care for, drive, build, and do much with, but after awhile things get old. Look beyond what you see. Is there a man or woman in front of you that has more going on besides what they wear and what they do? Part of being in a relationship is discovering the wonderful truths about a person along with how might you be able to help your loved one with the not-so nice stuff.
In closing, do think about the things that make you want to be with your mate beyond this year--that's right plan for the future. What kind of person is this that is worth your time and affection? Are your feelings being reciprocated? Is there someone else who you think would be a better match? Why are you in a relationship with this person? When you can answer questions like this and more, then you know you are on a path toward a committed, serious relationship. But if you find yourself turned off with questions like these or avoid them, then you are not ready to settle down. It would be best to communicate your feelings to your partner only if you believe your mate is hoping for something more with you. But if you aren't completely sure about your feelings, don't say anything until you are prepared for the consequences--good or bad.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.
Wednesday
A List of Older Dating Younger in Entertainment Industry
Tuesday
Wednesday
OMG! He Acts Just Like My Dad!
Maybe that day has never came for you. Maybe you only heard about it, you know, the young woman who comes to the revelation that her older date reminds her so much of none other than her father--oh no!
The mature man is not going to receive this eye-opening experience from the young lady, especially if he considers himself rather young in spirit, he is going to avoid the "You act like and kind of look like my dad" conversation like a plague. What the heck, this older man probably feared his younger partner would one day arrive to this sudden epiphany!
When the older man was listening to that young woman's stories about her father early on in the dating relationship, he was thinking about himself. He was comparing, contrasting, and contemplating, "What if this is all some sort of daddy issue romance playing itself out? What do I do?" he thought. Well, you do what any respectable man does, you acknowledge her feelings and you remind her, "But I am not your dad. I repeat I am not your dad." Then you work real hard not to do anything that appears daddy like such as: parent her, "You are to give me a time when you intend to be back, young lady!" or tell her when she is hurt, "It's okay boo-boo daddy loves you."
Now the young woman is going to reach the point of no return at some point in your dating relationship, where she is not going to go back to that daddy revelation for it is quite disturbing and you will know when she continues on in the relationship as if nothing has ever been revealed. She says things like, "I truly only want to be with you. I really would like for us to get married... and what do you think of children?" She sees you as a lover, friend, and husband but not as a father, good for you!
Once you can detect that you, if you are the younger woman, or you, if you are the mature man, realizes that nothing can separate you, not even memories of dad, go ahead, take the next step. But if every time you two have a moment to converse and she starts talking about "my dad this and my dad that and you act this way and that way just like my dad with a glint of anger in her eyes," jump ship--she has some serious issues that if you don't have the time, money and patience, don't bother trying to direct her to some help while you are still having sex with her. Better off just being friends. And for the younger woman, you will need to spend some time alone if you are having a hard time removing the images of your dad and childhood issues concerning him. You see, no one wants to be reminded that they look, act, smell, dress, or are like someone else--no one! We are uniquely designed, all of us. Sure, I might remind you of someone and you might remind me of someone, but we both have many different facets to who we are if only we would all just take the time to discover them in our relationships rather than compare them to the past.
So don't run away mature man if the young woman suddenly realizes that she has been attracted to you, because you remind her of the first man in her life, it just might be a passing phase. However, younger woman, if it really does bother you that the gentleman you like/love is very much like your dad, don't take the relationship any further. We wouldn't want you to feel like you are sleeping with your dad--now that's just nasty and besides if you have a faith, you might want to pray about your issues.
Nicholl McGuire
The mature man is not going to receive this eye-opening experience from the young lady, especially if he considers himself rather young in spirit, he is going to avoid the "You act like and kind of look like my dad" conversation like a plague. What the heck, this older man probably feared his younger partner would one day arrive to this sudden epiphany!
When the older man was listening to that young woman's stories about her father early on in the dating relationship, he was thinking about himself. He was comparing, contrasting, and contemplating, "What if this is all some sort of daddy issue romance playing itself out? What do I do?" he thought. Well, you do what any respectable man does, you acknowledge her feelings and you remind her, "But I am not your dad. I repeat I am not your dad." Then you work real hard not to do anything that appears daddy like such as: parent her, "You are to give me a time when you intend to be back, young lady!" or tell her when she is hurt, "It's okay boo-boo daddy loves you."
Now the young woman is going to reach the point of no return at some point in your dating relationship, where she is not going to go back to that daddy revelation for it is quite disturbing and you will know when she continues on in the relationship as if nothing has ever been revealed. She says things like, "I truly only want to be with you. I really would like for us to get married... and what do you think of children?" She sees you as a lover, friend, and husband but not as a father, good for you!
Once you can detect that you, if you are the younger woman, or you, if you are the mature man, realizes that nothing can separate you, not even memories of dad, go ahead, take the next step. But if every time you two have a moment to converse and she starts talking about "my dad this and my dad that and you act this way and that way just like my dad with a glint of anger in her eyes," jump ship--she has some serious issues that if you don't have the time, money and patience, don't bother trying to direct her to some help while you are still having sex with her. Better off just being friends. And for the younger woman, you will need to spend some time alone if you are having a hard time removing the images of your dad and childhood issues concerning him. You see, no one wants to be reminded that they look, act, smell, dress, or are like someone else--no one! We are uniquely designed, all of us. Sure, I might remind you of someone and you might remind me of someone, but we both have many different facets to who we are if only we would all just take the time to discover them in our relationships rather than compare them to the past.
So don't run away mature man if the young woman suddenly realizes that she has been attracted to you, because you remind her of the first man in her life, it just might be a passing phase. However, younger woman, if it really does bother you that the gentleman you like/love is very much like your dad, don't take the relationship any further. We wouldn't want you to feel like you are sleeping with your dad--now that's just nasty and besides if you have a faith, you might want to pray about your issues.
Nicholl McGuire
Nicholl Shares Thoughts From a Spiritual Perspective for Women Dating Older Men
Here is some thoughtful insight on dating someone older for the younger women. Hopefully, you will walk carefully and choose wisely. Enjoy the video!
Sugar Baby, Sugar Daddy
by Nicholl McGuire who is the writer of this blog and other ones. She also has written various nonfiction books including When Mothers Cry
For Some Men & Women It's Just Sex
There is nothing significant about that new sexual partner that makes an individual desire a long term commitment particularly when that isn't what he or she truly wants anyway. For some couples, it's just sex--nothing more and nothing less, that is until emotions get in the way!
A man in a 10 plus years marriage, who lies about it, is looking for someone or something to break a mundane lifestyle, but his intentions is not to lie down with his younger fling forever and always. If he were completely honest, he would tell her so. A young woman with many bills, an active lifestyle, and isn't interested in dating younger guys these days because she has needs that goes beyond the bedroom, is most likely not seeking a long-term commitment either especially if the mature man isn't offering much conversation or affection. Both have immediate needs, but a long term future, not likely.
When we find ourselves seeking people who are mentally or physically unavailable (or maybe we are the ones guilty of this sort of behavior) and have no strong desire to be nothing more than bedroom partners, you have to wonder, "What is going on with me?" It is better to be alone and content then to be with someone who is going to lie about loving his wife or be with a younger woman who just wants to manipulate men for selfish gain. So much emotional energy wrapped up into something that has no solid foundation!
Some couples in wishy washy relationships end up leaving them with a few mental marbles loose. Words are exchanged during bedroom sessions that tickle ears and before long, a lover believes that something more might come out of this short-term fling only to be left heartbroken. "We agreed, we wouldn't get serious, remember!? I told you I am in a relationship, I have children!" the married man yells. "But I love you and you said I was the best thing in your life!" the young woman cries. "I know what I said, but that was when we were having sex!" her lover retorts.
I think of times during my past when I was misled into thinking that some men were sincerely into me and only me. But later, I would learn that I was the alternative, the back up plan until cheating men would be welcomed back into the arms of their number one girls. "Stupid me," I would think. Assuming that a nice guy was right for me. There is a whole lot more going on with nice guys besides what meets the eye--I am a witness!
There are those nice guys who are bad guys. They seek out women who are willing to go out with them and eventually lay with them. If she doesn't do what he wants on his time schedule, then she is marked as "hard to get" and then he is on to the next one. Older, more experienced, men are clever. They will say just about anything to fulfill sexual needs. I recall a man promise to let me stay at his large home with a pool and other amenities he thought I liked (mind you, I don't know how to swim, see how much he paid attention to me?) He used what he had to lure me to come over an entertain him (yet some men don't want gold-diggers, why use your wealth to charm?) I politely declined his request. He had an impatient and irritated tone to his voice and lost my number. That older man made his intentions clear and I made my boundaries clear.
Too many young women settle for foolishness for material wealth. But one day, reality sets in and you find yourself looking in the mirror at your ugly self. You start asking that immature woman inside of you the hard questions, "Why do I put myself through this? Why can't I just sit back and enjoy my life for a bit; rather than worry over dates?"
Remember, once you see signs and listen closely to one's intentions while dating, you have a choice, either you will raise your red flag or you will give in. If you should give in to a man or woman's demands, be prepared to enter a journey that you might or might not be ready for. There will be surprises and they won't all be good. There will be emotional highs and lows that might leave you feeling like you are out of control. And, most of all, there will most likely be disappointments because you will quickly learn, the more you get to know someone, the more you realize sex isn't all you need. Before long, you will be on that path of trying to break free from your lover which isn't always easy to do.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.
A man in a 10 plus years marriage, who lies about it, is looking for someone or something to break a mundane lifestyle, but his intentions is not to lie down with his younger fling forever and always. If he were completely honest, he would tell her so. A young woman with many bills, an active lifestyle, and isn't interested in dating younger guys these days because she has needs that goes beyond the bedroom, is most likely not seeking a long-term commitment either especially if the mature man isn't offering much conversation or affection. Both have immediate needs, but a long term future, not likely.
When we find ourselves seeking people who are mentally or physically unavailable (or maybe we are the ones guilty of this sort of behavior) and have no strong desire to be nothing more than bedroom partners, you have to wonder, "What is going on with me?" It is better to be alone and content then to be with someone who is going to lie about loving his wife or be with a younger woman who just wants to manipulate men for selfish gain. So much emotional energy wrapped up into something that has no solid foundation!
Some couples in wishy washy relationships end up leaving them with a few mental marbles loose. Words are exchanged during bedroom sessions that tickle ears and before long, a lover believes that something more might come out of this short-term fling only to be left heartbroken. "We agreed, we wouldn't get serious, remember!? I told you I am in a relationship, I have children!" the married man yells. "But I love you and you said I was the best thing in your life!" the young woman cries. "I know what I said, but that was when we were having sex!" her lover retorts.
I think of times during my past when I was misled into thinking that some men were sincerely into me and only me. But later, I would learn that I was the alternative, the back up plan until cheating men would be welcomed back into the arms of their number one girls. "Stupid me," I would think. Assuming that a nice guy was right for me. There is a whole lot more going on with nice guys besides what meets the eye--I am a witness!
There are those nice guys who are bad guys. They seek out women who are willing to go out with them and eventually lay with them. If she doesn't do what he wants on his time schedule, then she is marked as "hard to get" and then he is on to the next one. Older, more experienced, men are clever. They will say just about anything to fulfill sexual needs. I recall a man promise to let me stay at his large home with a pool and other amenities he thought I liked (mind you, I don't know how to swim, see how much he paid attention to me?) He used what he had to lure me to come over an entertain him (yet some men don't want gold-diggers, why use your wealth to charm?) I politely declined his request. He had an impatient and irritated tone to his voice and lost my number. That older man made his intentions clear and I made my boundaries clear.
Too many young women settle for foolishness for material wealth. But one day, reality sets in and you find yourself looking in the mirror at your ugly self. You start asking that immature woman inside of you the hard questions, "Why do I put myself through this? Why can't I just sit back and enjoy my life for a bit; rather than worry over dates?"
Remember, once you see signs and listen closely to one's intentions while dating, you have a choice, either you will raise your red flag or you will give in. If you should give in to a man or woman's demands, be prepared to enter a journey that you might or might not be ready for. There will be surprises and they won't all be good. There will be emotional highs and lows that might leave you feeling like you are out of control. And, most of all, there will most likely be disappointments because you will quickly learn, the more you get to know someone, the more you realize sex isn't all you need. Before long, you will be on that path of trying to break free from your lover which isn't always easy to do.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.
Monday
Age Gap Relationships - Tips For Dating An Older Man | WeLoveDates
Here's an article worth sharing. Although the information is similar to what I have here, I feel it is a friendly reminder for those young women interested in dating older men, enjoy!
Age Gap Relationships - Tips For Dating An Older Man | WeLoveDates
Age Gap Relationships - Tips For Dating An Older Man | WeLoveDates
Wednesday
You Are What You Create: When the Older Man and Younger Woman Collide
How you begin a relationship sets the foundation for many things more to come. There are mature men who don't mind spending wads of cash on their younger companions from the start of the relationship, but there are those men who hold on to their money as if they fear spending it. Then you have those men in between who know how to balance their wealth and spread it around such as: save, invest, donate, and so on. When you are in a relationship with any woman, whether young or old, you have to take a good long look at yourself. When things start to go wrong, you have to admit that somewhere down the line you presented yourself one way and your date saw you in a totally different way. Whether you were clear about your intentions, habits, beliefs and other things, evidently you didn't make your point crystal clear--now the drama begins.
Some men disguise themselves as being the playful, outgoing and talkative types with younger women, at least in the beginning of the relationship; however, in time, they begin to get comfortable, too comfortable. The same is true for younger women too. Rather than seeing his younger partner as different than he and vice versa while trying to adjust, he hopes that she will act more like him--laid back, a home body, and whatever else he truly sees himself to be.
Younger, active women have a hard time with older men who don't have much going on outside their jobs and television screens. If a mature date presented himself not to be the couch potato type early on, then that is what she expects to see, a man who is doing more outside or around the home besides sitting, eating and sleeping. When the truth comes out about some older men's intentions, habits, and more, he becomes irritable, disappointed, and somehow blames his partner for the false impression he gave her from the start. "I don't like going places...I don't like seeing shows...I prefer to stay home...I never said I liked that..." the once handsome, active older man who presented himself as such, behind the scenes, is nothing more than a grumpy old man. Now the relationship takes an ugly turn, "Well, if I would have known this is how you truly are...I would have..." the younger woman complains. "I thought you knew I was this way!" he retorts.
Age differences play a part in a May-December relationship. There are those older men who prefer to go to bed early, while others stay up late into the night while nodding on and off in front of TV or computer screens. There are younger women who do the same. But if no one shows his or her true colors from the start, then you don't know what you might get later on down the road.
You are what you create. If you don't want a gold digger, then don't spend money like your younger date is one. If you don't want a lazy older man, then don't do everything for him. You get the point? So do take a good, long look at what you have done so far that caused unnecessary drama in your relationship and work to change it before someone threatens to break up--that is if that hasn't happened already (sigh).
Nicholl McGuire
Some men disguise themselves as being the playful, outgoing and talkative types with younger women, at least in the beginning of the relationship; however, in time, they begin to get comfortable, too comfortable. The same is true for younger women too. Rather than seeing his younger partner as different than he and vice versa while trying to adjust, he hopes that she will act more like him--laid back, a home body, and whatever else he truly sees himself to be.
Younger, active women have a hard time with older men who don't have much going on outside their jobs and television screens. If a mature date presented himself not to be the couch potato type early on, then that is what she expects to see, a man who is doing more outside or around the home besides sitting, eating and sleeping. When the truth comes out about some older men's intentions, habits, and more, he becomes irritable, disappointed, and somehow blames his partner for the false impression he gave her from the start. "I don't like going places...I don't like seeing shows...I prefer to stay home...I never said I liked that..." the once handsome, active older man who presented himself as such, behind the scenes, is nothing more than a grumpy old man. Now the relationship takes an ugly turn, "Well, if I would have known this is how you truly are...I would have..." the younger woman complains. "I thought you knew I was this way!" he retorts.
Age differences play a part in a May-December relationship. There are those older men who prefer to go to bed early, while others stay up late into the night while nodding on and off in front of TV or computer screens. There are younger women who do the same. But if no one shows his or her true colors from the start, then you don't know what you might get later on down the road.
Nicholl McGuire
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
In this example, Mary Kate looks very young especially in one photo where she looks like his daughter. It makes one feel like the dirty older man is being naughty.
If you are going to date someone who doesn't look close to your age, you might want to lose the little girl look if you want to gain some respect. Unfortunately, looks matter in our society.
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
If you are going to date someone who doesn't look close to your age, you might want to lose the little girl look if you want to gain some respect. Unfortunately, looks matter in our society.
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
You going to get worms - older dating younger - YouTube
"You gon' get worms!" This is a statement that some older people in the African American community tease younger people with for dating someone older. Funny video with valid points, enjoy!
You gone get worms - YouTube
You gone get worms - YouTube
Thursday
Do Some Say You Are Wise? Your Date Might Not Appreciate Wisdom
Nowadays lighthearted, silly statements in videos, movies and
songs seem to get the popular vote. For
many, life is just too dull, serious, routine, and so on. So single daters seek a pick me up whether that be in
a person, place or thing. However, what daters should seek is love and wisdom above moments of laughter.
Many young people who haven’t experienced much in life such as: long-term relationships,
consistent employment, foreign travel, years of parenting, etc. bring a limited view to one deemed wise and
one who is mature and has no direction, well he or she is considered nothing
more than a fool.
Now if you put two
immature, inexperienced people together, the chances that the couple will get
along are quite good at least for a time until serious issues come up. But if you pair a
wise person (whether young or old) with someone who is unwise mentally and
spiritually, you will have an unbalanced relationship where one is often
investing knowledge, love, experiences, and possibly money, while the other is like a bump on a
log. After awhile, the one receiving all
those wise tips is going to get weary of his or her partner, since he or she has very little to bring to the relationship, and eventually
resent him or her. On the other hand,
the wise person is going to regret having wasted so much time hoping for compatibility and a return on his or her investment.
Foolish people don’t like spiritual people and vice
versa. If you are wise, don’t manipulate yourself into
thinking that you can change, re-arrange, create, or motivate a silly, immature
or uneducated person to act the way you want.
If you believe this, then consider yourself controlling.
Now there are those who you know who may enjoy
your teachings and thoughtful insight, but they don’t spend as much time with
you like an intimate partner would.
Wisdom is not popular, doesn’t rank high when it comes to character
attributes, and isn’t what young people consider, “Cool.” Besides, there are
even older adults who run from wisdom because they don’t want to feel: old, convicted
about sins, or think they should change.
So if you are one who has been told you are “wise,” be
mindful that those you might attract may not be as wise as you. They also will not help you toward creating the
kind of relationship you so desire either especially if they don’t respect or appreciate
wise people.
You can test dates simply by sharing biblical quotes, thoughts on love, philosophical concepts related to things you think he or she enjoys, etc. Then watch your date's reactions. Do this enough times
in different ways on different days (especially bible related verses), and the apple of your eye will begin to
look spoiled to you. Once you realize
this person is definitely not someone you could see yourself spending your life
with, break free. Don’t be like so many
who try to rescue, rehabilitate, change, or build up fools. If one cannot or refuses to do anything that
will make them better in all that he or she does, yet you are this type, then you don’t
want to choose the broken, emotionally hurt, and wounded for a life-long partner.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street and other books.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street and other books.
Wednesday
7 Mistakes Some Mature Men Make with Younger Women
He finds someone who he really likes, a younger woman,
someone who looks like she could be his daughter. The more he spends time with her, the more he
sees a future with her. However, there
are obstacles internally and externally that prevent this courtship from being a wonderful, memorable experience.
The mature man made some
mistakes during this age gap dating experience that makes her question his loyalty, possibly caused discord among
family and friends while leaving the couple feeling uneasy about the future.
You could be making the same errors when it
comes to dating younger women.
One. Are you impressing the
younger woman with your material wealth?
Stop it. If you don't want a gold-digger don't encourage her to act like one. Be humble, modest about your wealth. If asked, answer briefly, but avoid bragging.
Two. Did you tell others how
old she is?
If you did already, stop that too. If you don't want condemnation, don't invite it! The more you talk about how young and youthful she is, the more the uncomfortable tension in the air will grow especially amongst jealous older women. You will be making it hard for her to be welcomed into your inner circle when you bring up her age often.
Three. Are you having sex
before really feeling comfortable enough to be seen with her in public places?
Don't do it again when you know you aren't ready to present her in front of everyone. You are only setting yourself up for future arguments. If you aren't serious about her, don't make her think you are.
Four. Do you talk about your
young partner with exs in order to create a desire for
them to want to reconnect?
Why would any man do this? But they do. An ex is an ex for a reason and drawing her out of her cave of anger and confusion by talking about your new girlfriend often is only going to make matters worse sooner or later.
Five. Do you lie or cover up
unflattering details of your life in order to keep your young partner
around?
So as to appear like he is in the know and is "cool," some older men will not share much about themselves and act more interested in their date. If you want an open, honest relationship, it would make sense to share aspects of yourself as they come up, not hide them.
Six. Are you acting
controlling, like a father, and forbid her to have a life apart from you?
A younger woman can detect a father figure a mile away. Some gravitate to older men because there are some things that they do that remind them of their fathers. However, many don't want their partner to become their father. So when you find yourself monitoring her every activity, you have to ask yourself, "Do I have a desire for a daughter?" If this is the case, let her go, don't use her to fulfill your void.
Seven. Do you keep her a
secret and then spring her on critical family and friends?
There relationship is not off to a good start when you can't even talk to your family about her or you feel apprehensive about sharing someone that you love with them. Conquer the fear and the nervousness simply by preparing everyone who you know will support you and leave out those you know you don't. Springing a younger woman up on anyone will make them do more gossiping than welcoming--and how do you think that negativity in the air will make your partner feel?
Take a moment to pray, plan, and protect that one you believe is the apple of your eye!
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
Whose Whispering in His Ear, Her Ear?
A younger woman and an older man in a dating relationship is often critiqued by those who think he is too old and she is too young. The critic doing the questioning is often jealous or has been hurt in the past having been in a similar relationship.
The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure. He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner. The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions. Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.
The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative. She becomes easily irritated with him. He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him. Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship. She thinks, "It's him." He thinks, "It's her." No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well. "Why do I feel this way?" The couple should ask. "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time? Who have I been talking and listening to?"
The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better! Consider the source. When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?" Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business? After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business. You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc. If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail. Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure. He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner. The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions. Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.
The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative. She becomes easily irritated with him. He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him. Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship. She thinks, "It's him." He thinks, "It's her." No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well. "Why do I feel this way?" The couple should ask. "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time? Who have I been talking and listening to?"
The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better! Consider the source. When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?" Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business? After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business. You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc. If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail. Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
Friday
Christian Dating: Older Men and Younger Women
In the Bible there are men in relationships with younger women. For example, Boaz and Ruth were one such couple. Now there is nothing wrong with men and women dating one another. But what is wrong is when manipulation, lying, abuse, sexual sins, and ridicule is included in the relationship. Just think, if all of this relationship drama was ongoing in the book of Genesis with the first couple, Adam and Eve would have been fighting one another, ignoring God, and turning their future offspring against one another! Then again, who knows what they said to one another after they were expelled from the garden? When dating someone who is younger or older we have to understand that just because they attend church, read the Bible, have a history of being saved, sanctified and Holy Ghost filled doesn't necessarily mean that this person is someone who we should be dating and this person may not be who God had in mind for us.
Sometimes, as believers, we are very quick to assume that someone we are dating is "the one" and "chosen by God," because they simply appear to act like what we think a believer should be. We start trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole. "He likes what I like...," she says, but upon closer inspection, that isn't altogether true. "She is perfect for me...," he boasts, but then six months from now he is on his knees crying out to God, "Send her away, I made a mistake!" Not so fast! You wanted someone to come into your life because you were most likely lonely, desperate, confused, or just wanted a friend. You might have had a list of what you wanted, and so now you got her or him with a few things added to that list and a few removed. Why would God permit certain experiences to happen and not others when it comes to relating to the opposite sex?
Well, we are to trust in God and we are not to lean on our own understanding, so the Bible tells us. We should also consider Romans 8:28 when it comes to our personal experiences. God has a way of teaching us a lesson or two about life and it isn't always going to come from a church setting, a CD, or a Christian television program. Sometimes these fires we put ourselves in, God will put them out for a time and teach us while we are looking on at the destruction that we caused for ourselves and others. It's like God taking us by the hand and pointing out our faults, "See what you done, now look what I am going to do. I know that you made a mistake, but I can't let you just walk away, there are some things I need to teach you about yourself, the other person and how this all relates to my perfect will."
So if you believe in a mighty God and you know that you may have made some mistakes with someone or you are seeking God about the person you are currently with, may I direct you to the original plan, what does God want to do in you and through you? What do you recall about walking with him, before you got distracted with this person, job, children etc. that he wanted you to do in the first place? You might have to go back to the Book of Genesis in your life to get the answers you need.
Consider this, don't let an older man/younger woman dating relationship keep you from your higher calling. Stay true to the God who saved you back when your current partner "...didn't know you when...!" Men and women can't save you, but an awesome Creator whose son's name is Jesus can, get back to spending time with your first love and he will lead you when it comes to your human love.
To God be the glory!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
Sometimes, as believers, we are very quick to assume that someone we are dating is "the one" and "chosen by God," because they simply appear to act like what we think a believer should be. We start trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole. "He likes what I like...," she says, but upon closer inspection, that isn't altogether true. "She is perfect for me...," he boasts, but then six months from now he is on his knees crying out to God, "Send her away, I made a mistake!" Not so fast! You wanted someone to come into your life because you were most likely lonely, desperate, confused, or just wanted a friend. You might have had a list of what you wanted, and so now you got her or him with a few things added to that list and a few removed. Why would God permit certain experiences to happen and not others when it comes to relating to the opposite sex?
Well, we are to trust in God and we are not to lean on our own understanding, so the Bible tells us. We should also consider Romans 8:28 when it comes to our personal experiences. God has a way of teaching us a lesson or two about life and it isn't always going to come from a church setting, a CD, or a Christian television program. Sometimes these fires we put ourselves in, God will put them out for a time and teach us while we are looking on at the destruction that we caused for ourselves and others. It's like God taking us by the hand and pointing out our faults, "See what you done, now look what I am going to do. I know that you made a mistake, but I can't let you just walk away, there are some things I need to teach you about yourself, the other person and how this all relates to my perfect will."
So if you believe in a mighty God and you know that you may have made some mistakes with someone or you are seeking God about the person you are currently with, may I direct you to the original plan, what does God want to do in you and through you? What do you recall about walking with him, before you got distracted with this person, job, children etc. that he wanted you to do in the first place? You might have to go back to the Book of Genesis in your life to get the answers you need.
Consider this, don't let an older man/younger woman dating relationship keep you from your higher calling. Stay true to the God who saved you back when your current partner "...didn't know you when...!" Men and women can't save you, but an awesome Creator whose son's name is Jesus can, get back to spending time with your first love and he will lead you when it comes to your human love.
To God be the glory!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
It’s Not Always Easy Dating Someone Almost Half Your Age (Younger or Older)
You may not admit it to those around you because you don’t
want them to tell you, “I told you so.” But it’s really not easy to date
someone with a mindset that is from decades ago when women/men acted this way
and that way. It can be challenging to
be with someone who has more energy than you and sees years ahead of them to
get things right, while you think “I don’t have long to live to not get things
right.”
So on and on we think about just how different we are from
one another—older man, younger woman—until that one day when he or she says
some things that make us feel like, “Well maybe we aren’t that different…” But then disagreements come up and suffocate
all the niceties, don’t they? Things are
said that remind us of those age differences once again. “She is so immature!” He says.
“He is so old and boring!” She thinks.
You try to deny the truth and suppress your uncomfortable
feelings, but neither is working. For
some couples, they start obsessing about ending the relationship. Then they enlist others to encourage them, “Maybe
being with him/her is not what you really want.
If you would have listened to me, I would have introduced you to someone
who was more your age.”
When you are all alone at home or in your car and with no
distraction, you have to make up in your mind whether you are committed to this
younger woman or older man. Are you? You have to be the one that decides if this
person is worth all the criticism, future joy AND upset, health issues,
etc. If you know that you just don’t
have the energy, mindset or time to commit to the relationship; then don’t
deceive yourself or that older man or younger woman who might possibly be in
love with you. Let this person know that
you are not interested in marriage, living together, children, or anything else
that typical committed couples have.
Rather, tell the one you admire (or possibly might love) that you are
still working on some areas in your life, and you are not quite ready to settle
down. It is better that you are open and
truthful, this way your lover/friend can prepare his or herself emotionally and
not demand any commitment from you.
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