Sometimes when one is dating, he or she forgets that every emotion that is experienced is not love. It doesn't matter how old you are, there should be someone to speak aloud in your circle, "Hey, you just met the girl, slow down...Seriously honey, you don't even know this man!" loved ones will say. This is a good think, don't take offense.
Those of us who remember being in love, know that the feeling lasts at least six months. You can't eat or sleep without the one you love. You plan for the future ie.) marriage. You show this special person off even to your enemies. You share just about everything with this person including your drinking glass--you just love them! But when you are in like, you don't really care whether they come or go. You definitely aren't planning any future and you aren't much interested in showing this person off especially around family. You will even think twice about letting their lips touch anything you eat or drink, "I don't know where her/his lips have been?" you think.
So the next time someone or even yourself teases, "You're in love..." Know the difference.
Nicholl McGuire
A age gap dating advice blog that provides valuable tips when dating older men and younger women. Thought-provoking relationship tips for older men seeking to date younger women. Please be advised to seek a professional for serious issues. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling. This blog is not for people under the age of 18.
Friday
Wednesday
What's There Not to Love About Dating Older, Dating Younger?
What's there not to love about dating older men or dating younger women? Plenty, depending on who you ask and what has been one's dating experience has been like over the years. From immaturity to boredom, there are turn-offs about dating anyone older or younger. Therefore, you must be willing to pick out what you are capable of putting up with and what is most certainly a deal-breaker.
My name is Nicholl, the creator of this site, and I can tell you that for years I have been exposed to older men very interested in dating younger women. I have personally dated my share of older men as well and married two (one I am still with to date). But as I began to exit my energetic 20s and entered into my insightful 30s, what I thought I liked about dating older men had changed and what I thought they liked about me had changed too.
You see, the more you date, the more you learn about the manipulators, liars, pimps, players, and others who have far too many personality disorders to count amongst the good guys who just want to make you happy. As a young woman, you find yourself having to put up with some old fools, for a time, because you got yourself in a situation or two that you can't immediately exit without some degree of difficulty. Then, as you mature, you realize some older men just aren't as fond of you as you might think or portray. You discover they have been with so many women physically over their years, in addition to grappling with one or two mentally, that their mental capacity for dealing with yet another new face is overloaded. You discover that some (of course not all) mature men aren't really thinking or believing in long-term relationships anymore.
There is plenty not to love about dating someone younger who is immature, unstable, and still angry with dad, her last boyfriend, and everyone else in between. Further, one just might find that his young date may be a disappointing "all show, but no go." The same holds true for the older man who naively thinks that simply decorating himself up with some nice clothes and "smell good" while filling his pockets with some cash is all that it takes to keep a young woman interested. This tactic doesn't work for the wise young ladies on the dating scene. They are going to eventually request more time, affection, attention, and love and when the old player doesn't deliver, it is on with the next one. The young lady will be looking to exit the relationship sooner rather than later.
Take the time to list everything you don't like about dating someone older or younger and then ask yourself, "What am I willing to tolerate?" Taking this moment to reflect just might help you be more selective when it comes to dating older men or younger women in the future.
Nicholl McGuire contributes to this dating blog site as well, click here.
My name is Nicholl, the creator of this site, and I can tell you that for years I have been exposed to older men very interested in dating younger women. I have personally dated my share of older men as well and married two (one I am still with to date). But as I began to exit my energetic 20s and entered into my insightful 30s, what I thought I liked about dating older men had changed and what I thought they liked about me had changed too.
You see, the more you date, the more you learn about the manipulators, liars, pimps, players, and others who have far too many personality disorders to count amongst the good guys who just want to make you happy. As a young woman, you find yourself having to put up with some old fools, for a time, because you got yourself in a situation or two that you can't immediately exit without some degree of difficulty. Then, as you mature, you realize some older men just aren't as fond of you as you might think or portray. You discover they have been with so many women physically over their years, in addition to grappling with one or two mentally, that their mental capacity for dealing with yet another new face is overloaded. You discover that some (of course not all) mature men aren't really thinking or believing in long-term relationships anymore.
There is plenty not to love about dating someone younger who is immature, unstable, and still angry with dad, her last boyfriend, and everyone else in between. Further, one just might find that his young date may be a disappointing "all show, but no go." The same holds true for the older man who naively thinks that simply decorating himself up with some nice clothes and "smell good" while filling his pockets with some cash is all that it takes to keep a young woman interested. This tactic doesn't work for the wise young ladies on the dating scene. They are going to eventually request more time, affection, attention, and love and when the old player doesn't deliver, it is on with the next one. The young lady will be looking to exit the relationship sooner rather than later.
Take the time to list everything you don't like about dating someone older or younger and then ask yourself, "What am I willing to tolerate?" Taking this moment to reflect just might help you be more selective when it comes to dating older men or younger women in the future.
Nicholl McGuire contributes to this dating blog site as well, click here.
Tuesday
Monday
Broken Hearted Older Men with Issues - Young Women Don't Waste Your Youthful Years
He has yet to get over decades of heartbreak. The mentally-disturbed older man has his share of the following: self-esteem issues, sleep problems, sexual problems, mood swings, and weird behavior that if anyone knew, people would warn, "Keep away!" Of course, a single, young lady, who thought the older man was rather attractive during their first meeting, didn't know this about him during those times they lived separately and periodically went out on dates. But now, all hell has broken lose!
Independent young women, from around the world, tend to find out things the hard way when it comes to dating mature men. These men are skilled at being everything young women want them to be, that is until their dates sincerely get to know them. It is then when they act like fools, acting in ways that make a young woman think, "He's crazy, what did I get myself into!?"
When the young woman can finally say in confidence that she knows her older gentleman suitor, it is usually after she has been robbed of her youthful years worrying about him and what he might do or not do concerning her and possibly children! Her partner is a senior citizen behaving like a 20 plus year old leaving her feeling insecure, jealous, and angry, because he simply doesn't have his mindset and/or heart together!
"What on earth happened to my mate?" She thinks. "Why is he so grumpy? What did I do?" Don't beat yourself up with questions if you are a young woman reading this, you did no more than any other woman would do: you entertained him, did nice things, gave him good conversation, had sex with him, and became that friend he wanted. Now if the older man, with issues, can't see the benefits in being with someone like you, and has given you much grief for the things that originally won him over, then it's time to move on! Don't change who you are to suit someone who expects you to accept him for who he is.
Many young women who once were jovial in spirit, lose what little happiness they have left, because they allow a broken individual to sap their energy with his constant complaints, criticisms, and other rude behavior. Sometimes the only way a man can truly see the diamond he has seated next to him is to lose her!
There are those young women who have dated their share of older men who have mentally and/or physically scarred them over the years, that they finally arrive at a place in their lives where they don't want to date another older man 10 plus years. Good times become one too many bad times and so some of these young women will swear off dating old guys.
No matter the age, there will always be a broken hearted guy who just doesn't believe that he is a troubled individual. He will talk himself into believing that he just can't seem to find the right girl, when in fact, he is the reason why he can't seem to get along with most young ladies long term.
Perceptive young women can spot a broken, desperate old man from how he walks to how much he stares at them. The broken man doesn't think too much about how he makes others feel, because he is more concerned about controlling others to make him feel better--as if they can make him whole again. Consider this, when an older man doesn't hear the questions that a young woman asks of him and isn't interested in answering them during their dating phase, it is clear, he isn't interested in her mindset. When he doesn't take much interest in considering her suggestions for a future date, he has shown that he is a selfish individual. If this older man doesn't bother to make his date feel good by complimenting her, then he lacks compassion and is more concerned about other people and things then who she is as a person and could care less about keeping her around long term. And most of all, if he doesn't plan a future with her, then he has made it plain, she is nothing more than his "in the meantime" experience--that is until someone better comes along.
So before things, get too serious for some of you readers, recognize potential problems and know that a broken hearted older man can potentially sap the very life out of you if you aren't too careful! If you are already in such a relationship, find your peace of mind and make plans to be rid of your burden if nothing changes for the better.
Nicholl McGuire
Independent young women, from around the world, tend to find out things the hard way when it comes to dating mature men. These men are skilled at being everything young women want them to be, that is until their dates sincerely get to know them. It is then when they act like fools, acting in ways that make a young woman think, "He's crazy, what did I get myself into!?"
When the young woman can finally say in confidence that she knows her older gentleman suitor, it is usually after she has been robbed of her youthful years worrying about him and what he might do or not do concerning her and possibly children! Her partner is a senior citizen behaving like a 20 plus year old leaving her feeling insecure, jealous, and angry, because he simply doesn't have his mindset and/or heart together!
"What on earth happened to my mate?" She thinks. "Why is he so grumpy? What did I do?" Don't beat yourself up with questions if you are a young woman reading this, you did no more than any other woman would do: you entertained him, did nice things, gave him good conversation, had sex with him, and became that friend he wanted. Now if the older man, with issues, can't see the benefits in being with someone like you, and has given you much grief for the things that originally won him over, then it's time to move on! Don't change who you are to suit someone who expects you to accept him for who he is.
Many young women who once were jovial in spirit, lose what little happiness they have left, because they allow a broken individual to sap their energy with his constant complaints, criticisms, and other rude behavior. Sometimes the only way a man can truly see the diamond he has seated next to him is to lose her!
There are those young women who have dated their share of older men who have mentally and/or physically scarred them over the years, that they finally arrive at a place in their lives where they don't want to date another older man 10 plus years. Good times become one too many bad times and so some of these young women will swear off dating old guys.
No matter the age, there will always be a broken hearted guy who just doesn't believe that he is a troubled individual. He will talk himself into believing that he just can't seem to find the right girl, when in fact, he is the reason why he can't seem to get along with most young ladies long term.
Perceptive young women can spot a broken, desperate old man from how he walks to how much he stares at them. The broken man doesn't think too much about how he makes others feel, because he is more concerned about controlling others to make him feel better--as if they can make him whole again. Consider this, when an older man doesn't hear the questions that a young woman asks of him and isn't interested in answering them during their dating phase, it is clear, he isn't interested in her mindset. When he doesn't take much interest in considering her suggestions for a future date, he has shown that he is a selfish individual. If this older man doesn't bother to make his date feel good by complimenting her, then he lacks compassion and is more concerned about other people and things then who she is as a person and could care less about keeping her around long term. And most of all, if he doesn't plan a future with her, then he has made it plain, she is nothing more than his "in the meantime" experience--that is until someone better comes along.
So before things, get too serious for some of you readers, recognize potential problems and know that a broken hearted older man can potentially sap the very life out of you if you aren't too careful! If you are already in such a relationship, find your peace of mind and make plans to be rid of your burden if nothing changes for the better.
Nicholl McGuire
Saturday
Friday
7 Vaginal Health Issues Every Woman Should Know
If you are concerned or curious about some ongoing problems when it comes to women's issues, you might want to learn more here.
Thursday
Plenty of Reasons Why Older Men Date Younger Women, But Middle-Age Issues Live On
So older men date younger women for a variety of reasons from Boaz marrying Ruth to protect a family name to a relative simply liking a young lady and wanting to take care of her--no big deal, right? Right. But what if upon closer inspection some of those male mid-life blues start to show up coupled with issues he has carried from the last relationship with a menopausal woman, now what? The young woman has her work cut out for her--that's what! She has to be strong, focused, love herself, determined to make the relationship work (that is if she loves her partner) and have a support system that will advise her when things don't look good in the relationship.
I thought of this topic yet again (already wrote about it in the past on other sites and this one) as to why a man dates younger when I noticed many middle-aged women (both on and offline) behaving immaturely (ie. dressing inappropriately, cursing, fighting unnecessarily with partners)--purposely acting like young women in an attempt to keep their man's attention. However, deep inside these middle-aged women feel jilted, angry, and jealous about the relationship between those "cradle-robbers," as they put it, and " young thangs." These women's snarky comments, reveal a lot about their insecurities, unresolved issues, and more.
Men who date younger have spoken online and other places saying, "they don't like to feel old, menopausal women make them feel old." I guess if one complains often about their aches it can be a turn-off. I have heard menopausal women share a long list of issues with their co-workers about things like: vaginal dryness, weight gain, mood disorders--you name it! So if they are talking about these things at work, I can only imagine how much more they are sharing with partners!
I would also assume that if a woman isn't taking care of herself both inside and out, her man is going to stray. He is not going to keep being understanding if his wife/girlfriend keeps telling him, "I'm sorry I can't have sex tonight...these hot flashes are killing me...don't touch me. Leave me alone!" A weak man is going to eventually lust or look for a woman who he hopes will make him feel better than the last. He is going to watch for the woman who doesn't have as many women issues as those who are more mature. Remember,the old adage, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks?" This is also true for the mature women as well.
Some mature men grow weary of telling so-called responsible women (both young and old) to take care of themselves. Notice I didn't say all. From smelly (you know what) to managing money, women who don't take heed to advice that their mother may have told them or should have, will not keep any man around for long!
Being that I am not middle-aged yet and not considered youthful either by societal standards, I can date men both young and old (since my face and body at times is deceiving for some), I am personally indifferent to the topic of dating older and younger now that I am headed for the big 40, yet I do like to write about it and share my observations. But really, who are the individuals who get a rise when the topic of older men, dating younger women arises? Scorned middle-aged mothers and daughters, they care. "Dad left mom for a younger woman who's like my age, wtf!?" Her mom yells, "Go back to that baby, you call a girlfriend, Pig, Chester the Molester!"
These women care a whole lot! The insecure wife is often left alone while her husband plays with the twenty-something year olds who could care less that the man is married. Mom, on low self-esteem, hurts inside because she once looked a certain way and now thanks to society, she is forced to try to work on a face that is no longer holding make-up well. She despises her body shape and will often comment about others being "...so small...Look at her...I wish I had her body..." Meanwhile, her daughter just doesn't see men in the same way. She wonders what the future holds. She is angered that the young lady is old enough to be her friend. She thinks, "Why is my dad so stupid?" Hormones played an impact on dad's decision-making especially if the young woman is old enough to be his daughter. Sure, there were other reasons that made him like the girl, but most assuredly a mentally stable man, who has a relatively good life and his relationship has very few issues, is not going to suddenly abandon it for a young woman. But unstable men do it all the time and cover up the true reasons with a barrage of mainstream excuses. The ignorant overlook the deception and don't bother to think deeply about the topic. "So it happens, old guy, young lady, who cares?" They dismiss all reasoning; instead, some just say, "S$%t happens." While they move on, middle-age issues live on.
Nicholl McGuire
.
I thought of this topic yet again (already wrote about it in the past on other sites and this one) as to why a man dates younger when I noticed many middle-aged women (both on and offline) behaving immaturely (ie. dressing inappropriately, cursing, fighting unnecessarily with partners)--purposely acting like young women in an attempt to keep their man's attention. However, deep inside these middle-aged women feel jilted, angry, and jealous about the relationship between those "cradle-robbers," as they put it, and " young thangs." These women's snarky comments, reveal a lot about their insecurities, unresolved issues, and more.
Men who date younger have spoken online and other places saying, "they don't like to feel old, menopausal women make them feel old." I guess if one complains often about their aches it can be a turn-off. I have heard menopausal women share a long list of issues with their co-workers about things like: vaginal dryness, weight gain, mood disorders--you name it! So if they are talking about these things at work, I can only imagine how much more they are sharing with partners!
I would also assume that if a woman isn't taking care of herself both inside and out, her man is going to stray. He is not going to keep being understanding if his wife/girlfriend keeps telling him, "I'm sorry I can't have sex tonight...these hot flashes are killing me...don't touch me. Leave me alone!" A weak man is going to eventually lust or look for a woman who he hopes will make him feel better than the last. He is going to watch for the woman who doesn't have as many women issues as those who are more mature. Remember,the old adage, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks?" This is also true for the mature women as well.
Some mature men grow weary of telling so-called responsible women (both young and old) to take care of themselves. Notice I didn't say all. From smelly (you know what) to managing money, women who don't take heed to advice that their mother may have told them or should have, will not keep any man around for long!
Being that I am not middle-aged yet and not considered youthful either by societal standards, I can date men both young and old (since my face and body at times is deceiving for some), I am personally indifferent to the topic of dating older and younger now that I am headed for the big 40, yet I do like to write about it and share my observations. But really, who are the individuals who get a rise when the topic of older men, dating younger women arises? Scorned middle-aged mothers and daughters, they care. "Dad left mom for a younger woman who's like my age, wtf!?" Her mom yells, "Go back to that baby, you call a girlfriend, Pig, Chester the Molester!"
These women care a whole lot! The insecure wife is often left alone while her husband plays with the twenty-something year olds who could care less that the man is married. Mom, on low self-esteem, hurts inside because she once looked a certain way and now thanks to society, she is forced to try to work on a face that is no longer holding make-up well. She despises her body shape and will often comment about others being "...so small...Look at her...I wish I had her body..." Meanwhile, her daughter just doesn't see men in the same way. She wonders what the future holds. She is angered that the young lady is old enough to be her friend. She thinks, "Why is my dad so stupid?" Hormones played an impact on dad's decision-making especially if the young woman is old enough to be his daughter. Sure, there were other reasons that made him like the girl, but most assuredly a mentally stable man, who has a relatively good life and his relationship has very few issues, is not going to suddenly abandon it for a young woman. But unstable men do it all the time and cover up the true reasons with a barrage of mainstream excuses. The ignorant overlook the deception and don't bother to think deeply about the topic. "So it happens, old guy, young lady, who cares?" They dismiss all reasoning; instead, some just say, "S$%t happens." While they move on, middle-age issues live on.
Nicholl McGuire
.
Wednesday
Sunday
7 Signs an Age-Gap Relationship is Over
You might have noticed a partner isn't acting like he or she is interested in staying in a relationship with you. However, you don't want to assume the worse unless you see the following signs.
1. He/she often complains about the other, to not only family and friends, but strangers too.
Jokes, insults and other statements that make one angry come up all-too-often. One's partner feels like he or she is not liked much less loved. When feelings of upset are mentioned, the offending one acts uncaring and doesn't acknowledge his or her partner's concerns.
2. He/she has feelings of regret having met the other.
"I knew she was too young...I should have listened to my family--he's too old." The thoughts plague one's mind to the point where there are feelings of discontent and regret left behind.
3. There is a disconnect when conversing about important matters.
From topics about one's plans to issues about a job, when the couple talks to one another there is no attempt at making one another feel comfortable and secure in the relationship. Statements like: "I don't get you...You don't understand...why do I bother talking to you..." increasingly come up during discussions.
4. Plans of a future together are discontinued or no longer discussed.
When someone mentions marriage, children, buying a house, moving in together, etc., the couple isn't the least bit interested. They have avoided all communication about being together long-term, if anything, they are planning to break up in the near future.
5. Frequent disputes including threats or violent attacks.
Unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment have taken root. No matter how hard they try, nothing helps. They think about paying one another back for the last incident that left one or both with hurt feelings.
6. Thoughts of cheating increase or has already been done repeatedly.
Everyone else looks better than one's mate. So thoughts of a new relationship with someone else are heavy on the mind if he or she hasn't already begun the process.
7. Lies and cover-ups about one's feelings gradually stop occurring.
The liar or cheat starts getting sloppy with their cover-ups and false story-telling. They are showing no signs of wanting to stay in a relationship.
Once it is confirmed in your mind, body and spirit that your girlfriend or guyfriend isn't interested in you anymore, move on with your life. Save yourself the drama of make-up to break up. When a man or woman is no longer interested in being with one's current partner, things only get worse, they don't get any better no matter how many promises are made.
Nicholl McGuire
1. He/she often complains about the other, to not only family and friends, but strangers too.
Jokes, insults and other statements that make one angry come up all-too-often. One's partner feels like he or she is not liked much less loved. When feelings of upset are mentioned, the offending one acts uncaring and doesn't acknowledge his or her partner's concerns.
2. He/she has feelings of regret having met the other.
"I knew she was too young...I should have listened to my family--he's too old." The thoughts plague one's mind to the point where there are feelings of discontent and regret left behind.
3. There is a disconnect when conversing about important matters.
From topics about one's plans to issues about a job, when the couple talks to one another there is no attempt at making one another feel comfortable and secure in the relationship. Statements like: "I don't get you...You don't understand...why do I bother talking to you..." increasingly come up during discussions.
4. Plans of a future together are discontinued or no longer discussed.
When someone mentions marriage, children, buying a house, moving in together, etc., the couple isn't the least bit interested. They have avoided all communication about being together long-term, if anything, they are planning to break up in the near future.
5. Frequent disputes including threats or violent attacks.
Unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment have taken root. No matter how hard they try, nothing helps. They think about paying one another back for the last incident that left one or both with hurt feelings.
6. Thoughts of cheating increase or has already been done repeatedly.
Everyone else looks better than one's mate. So thoughts of a new relationship with someone else are heavy on the mind if he or she hasn't already begun the process.
7. Lies and cover-ups about one's feelings gradually stop occurring.
The liar or cheat starts getting sloppy with their cover-ups and false story-telling. They are showing no signs of wanting to stay in a relationship.
Once it is confirmed in your mind, body and spirit that your girlfriend or guyfriend isn't interested in you anymore, move on with your life. Save yourself the drama of make-up to break up. When a man or woman is no longer interested in being with one's current partner, things only get worse, they don't get any better no matter how many promises are made.
Nicholl McGuire
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