Some Older Men will Break Unsuspecting Young Women Down: Here's How

When I first heard the song by Usher, OMG, I admit I really liked the music. It was definitely a great song to get you moving. But when I listened to the lyrical content, I began to get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, “let me break you down… so many ways to love you…” Long after I first heard the song, I still heard the lyrics while going about my day. The character in the song was interested in getting a woman to drop her defenses so that she would sleep with him. The song isn’t about “loving” her, but having sex with her in “so many ways” that she would be exclaiming, “Oh my God!” in the bedroom. Once the man causes the woman to orgasm, his game is finished. The unsuspecting woman would not only be physically broken down, if she lets him break her down, but mentally as well. It might be safe to assume that in reality, some men are advised by their elders, mentors and/or the entertainment industry, “Get inside a woman’s head and you will get in her bed.” It’s apparent that with the singer’s smooth sexy vocals, he would most likely accomplish his goal successfully.

If you are a woman with any dating experience, then you know there are games men play. Whether the games are considered good or evil, depending on who you talk to, there is always someone willing to play them with unsuspecting individuals. So many women and men say they don’t play any head games when dating, but the truth is the day we dressed our faces and bodies up better than normal, articulated our thoughts in a way to win our dates over, and most of all interacted with them the best we knew how, the games began. Of course you want to make a good impression, but how far would you go to make a lasting one?

Some women are careful about what they say and do during a date so as not to turn him off and they also do things that they wouldn’t ordinarily do to impress a man. Those who know better would observe the seductive woman and her player for a date and say, “You both are running game on one another.” So who do you think would make the first move that would lead the two in the bedroom?

What might a man do to psychologically break a woman down so that arms, heart and legs are spread wide open? Well in order to know whether you (or that friend of yours) is a pawn in a player’s game, you have to understand it first.

One of the first things any man is going to do to impress the apple of his eye is start off being a gentleman. For example, he might open and close doors, spend a lot of money on the first date, and ask you if you need anything to ensure that you are comfortable being in his presence.

The next thing he may have done already in his mind is create memorable events that will keep you wanting to be in his presence. So he is going to create an atmosphere that keeps you entertained. He knows that some women can become easily bored and/or annoyed, so he’s going to ensure that everything he has planned for the date is in working order from his car to the waiter.

To make you feel good about being around him, he may also give you a small gift, something like: a rose, a gift card, CD, DVD, or book to show his appreciation and let you know he was listening to you when you two spoke over the phone. This small action will assist him in lowering your defenses of course.

He might turn up intimate moments with you by sharing flattering comments he may have thought of in advance or told others about you. Sometimes he may just say whatever he feels while hoping you will say something nice back. This is a test to see how willing you are to sleep with him later. A true gentleman isn’t focused on the sex and may even put if off for as long as you like.

When dates between you and he begin to increase and he is really showing an interest in you, he may ask to meet your relatives. This is just so that he makes you feel like he is serious, learn a bit more about you, and hopefully use your family to play a small part in encouraging you to keep him around. However, a player doesn’t care about meeting the relatives especially if you have a few clairvoyants around.

One way he makes you trust him is by providing you with details about his past. In your mind, you will reason that he is open and honest because he shared a few details about his life. (That is nothing to get excited about.) A man feels the more you trust him, the more likely you will want to do other things for him besides give up sex--more on this point later.

The compliments keep coming as days, turn into weeks of being together, but eventually they will slow. He will keep showering them in abundance if he has yet to experience sex with you. He may also keep with them if you are the best in bed he has had in a long time. But what goes up, will come down.

Now once he has you right where he wants you with your nose wide open, ready to defend him if anyone should say otherwise, he will then feel comfortable enough to walk away from the relationship, because he has already “broke you down.” But for some men, time is as valuable as money, so he just might stick around. Remember, the point about the more a man feels you trust him, the more likely you will want to do other things for him? Well those points are as follows when he wants to keep you around for awhile.

He may feel comfortable enough with you to ask you for money and help him with domestic tasks like cooking and cleaning. Did you think that you would always come to his place, ride in his car or take from him and not do other things besides have sex?

In time, he will tell you what he thinks about your appearance. This might be just before, during or after a disagreement. If you point out one of his flaws, like a child being teased, he will say something back negative. It may not be right at that moment, but one day he will.

Your date may start to criticize your actions or inactions when it comes to addressing his needs. “You said that you would be over at 8 p.m., but you are always late…I don’t like my food this way, I prefer it that way, I thought I told you that already. You don’t cook? I like a woman who can cook her man a meal.”

He may offer his thoughts about your family, hobbies, employment and other things in an unflattering way. Sometimes his bold comments might be hurtful, but you excuse them and reason, he is just being truthful.

Your date might share his dreams with you, and ask you to be a part of them. Meanwhile, you are putting yours off. On the surface, it seems nice helping someone accomplish their dreams, but what if his sole reason for doing so much for you in the past is to set you up for what he always wanted? You will one day ask yourself, when will you both work toward your dreams?

This man may act disinterested about your personal beliefs, but very interested in your friendships with the opposite sex, so much in fact that he doesn’t want you to have them. If this should happen, you might have broken him down in some ways to the point that now he is controlling. He may have went along with some of your suggestions and granted your favors over the course of the relationship, so now he feels like he has a say so on who you can and can’t talk to. For some women, they don’t recognize when they are being controlled, because most likely one of their parents or both were controlling, so it all seems comfortable to them.

Now the once gentleman turned control freak has exhausted himself with you, he might find someone else or he may stick around if he sees that you are willing to go along with his program. Test him, find out if there is any room for you to feel comfortable being who you are in the relationship. When you notice that your suggestions or concerns are gradually being put off more and more and you excuse him for it, you may realize that he has broken you down like the woman in the Usher song. He has given you a false sense of love in so many ways. Maybe in the beginning of the dating relationship you were a challenge, but not after he has had sex with you, got you to perform household chores, assisted him with his finances, errand running and other similar things.

He might keep you around a little longer, because he sees how he can benefit from you or he might not. It all depends on the man. If he is sincerely in love with you, he will hear your protests and change his sneaky ways, but if he is not, he will only get worse.

Some men will become abusive when they are confronted about their erratic moods, selfish actions and more. They will hit, choke or grab their partners which further breaks them down mentally and physically. A depressed partner might stay in the relationship out of obligation and fear all the while thinking she could do better, but she wants to stay and help him. The abuser will apologize, then repeat the cycle days, months even years later. Their partners may cry, “I thought you wouldn’t do that again!” But they do! Cheating and name-calling is also abusive. Daily curses, lying and covering up questionable events – all break down people. An abused woman will defend her abuser. Some of these abusive men have drug habits. A woman who may have once objected to using drugs, may go along just to get along. Now she is not only mentally broken down, but also susceptible to becoming a drug abuser.

So there are many ways to hurt not love a woman and if she isn’t too careful she may be broken down to the point that one day she won’t be able to get back on her feet.

By Nicholl McGuire

7 Moments in Life When We Make Stupid Decisions

Do you sometimes find yourself thinking about "What if I hadn't..." if so, you may want to think about what you could be doing now that may repeat a regret. Although this article doesn't specifically cater to younger women dating older men or vice versa, it does offer some thoughts about your present lifestyle and whether you believe it may be the right thing for you.

Sometimes we look back on our lives and notice how stupid we were for doing some of the things we did that hurt us and others. However, present situations may also be called stupid as well because for some of us, we still have yet to learn from the past mistakes. If we are careful about the timing when we are most likely to make poor decisions, we just might escape years of pain, confusion, resentment, bitterness, and other emotions we may experience as a result of our repeated failures.

So what are some periods of life that we are more vulnerable to making stupid life decisions?

Just before a breakup.

He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore. She is no longer interested in him. Yet, the both still have some feelings for one another. So what do they do? Instead of leaving one another like they had hoped, they rather argue, fight, and do other things to keep emotions on high. They might even buy new furniture, a new car or truck, or make a financial investment together. As strange as this may seem, couples do this as a way to hold on to one another even though they know that the relationship has long expired. When they finally do break up officially, they find themselves in court arguing over their material possessions. The best thing to do is not buy, invest, save or do anything that will cost you later with a partner who no longer loves or trusts you or vice versa.

After a separation or divorce.

The first thing that most people want to do after being free from a bad relationship is to sit some time out, but never that long, before dating again. Then when they are ready to date again, they don’t necessarily go into slowly. They tend to rush to get their sexual needs met. Before long, they are on a pathway of break up to make up with a new partner. They also are very quick to accept this new person into his or her life without considering what their children from a previous relationship might think. They also don’t always handle all of their past business either, bringing drama into their new relationship. Consider taking care of any of your past business, so as not to bring it into any future relationships.

After becoming a parent.

Post-partum blues is nothing to take lightly! There is a lot of pain associated with giving childbirth and even more to deal with if the child is born with a health condition. Some people do fine with parenting, while others can’t deal with it. The crying, the financial challenges, family involvement, and more will send anyone over the edge. So it is best not to make any major life decisions at least a year after becoming a parent. This way you give everyone a chance to heal both mentally and physically and you allow for your partner to get readjusted to his or her life now that there is a baby.

Before a test or competition.

This is a regret that can easily be avoided if we just devote more time. It’s just as simple as that! Make the time to study or practice and you come out ahead. But what do some do, they stay up late cramming after doing other things during the day that aren’t as important. They spend hours chatting on the phone. They play Good Samaritan to other people when they should be at home hitting the books or out on the field practicing. The end result is low test scores that may lead to someone not getting into a college which just might affect this person for the rest of his or her life. Team members upset because a member failed to come through and now everyone is considered a loser.

When intoxicated from drugs and/or alcohol.

So we “got our party on,” as the street says, some years back and now we have memories from the past that come and go. For some of us, those memories may still haunt us. A person might think, “I should have never…I wish I hadn’t…” Some people seek professional help to make the pain go away, while others continue to abuse alcohol and drugs in the hopes that one day they will just find their peace in the grave. Anyone who is under the influence will make stupid decisions resulting in: bad health, lost jobs, family and friends, freedom, and more. Common sense says, “Avoid the alcohol and drugs.”

After having sex.

He made you feel better than any man you have ever encountered! She did things in the bedroom that made you feel like flying to the moon! Before long, you are opening a credit card line in your name for your partner, paying her bills, buying him gifts, and telling him or her how much you want to get married or have a baby! Unfortunately, what goes up must come down, and now some of you reading this are stuck in a marriage or have children that you secretly wished you never had. You have just given some of your best years to someone who is now undeserving of them. We make our beds then we try to fix them so they are comfortable enough for us to lie in them for the rest of our lives. You can continue to be in a relationship you don’t want until you are ready to go or you can make the best of it.

Soon after receiving additional monies.

Whether an opportunity or blessing comes in the form of a promotion, membership or a position of authority, some people are receiving more money, fame or power than they have ever had in their lives! It would make any of us feel real good—real special. However, what usually happens is that the ego is puffed up with all the flattering statements, “You are so smart…you are great…wish I had a son like you!” Before long Mr. or Ms. Ego is saying and doing things she has no business doing. The “Big Boss” may use the company credit card for things other then what is allotted. This person may give employees the pass on things corporate management would possibly fire him or her about. Sometimes leaders will be-little others or boast about their fortune. All of these things and more will catch up to “The Man…The Woman…” sooner or later. If you are a spiritual person, you know that you are to remain humble and obey your superiors. You also are to treat your workers well.

When we are experiencing moments in our lives such as the ones explained in this article, we should avoid making decisions that only require a simple yes or no. We should make the time to sit quiet and contemplate how our action or inaction might affect us and our family later. Is this a good time to end a relationship or start a new one? What might be the immediate impact? How might your decision to pick up and move somewhere affect you and possibly children long term? When do you think will be a good time to come back and re-evaluate your dilemma? What does your family think about your current situation and how might they help or hurt it? There are so many questions that we could think about each and every situation we are currently facing, but the point is a sudden decision without thinking about all of the details will cost you sooner or later. Think everything through!

By Nicholl McGuire

Your In Love, He's In Love, So What Seems to be the Problem?

You might have been one of the blessed ones who found someone who honestly cares about you. Age has no bearing on your relationship. He is comfortable in his skin and so are you. Yet, something bothers you about the relationship, but you can't seem to put your finger on it. Know that your odd feelings are natural and will not go away until you are completely fulfilled in the relationship.

Material wealth, conversation, and sex sometimes isn't enough to feel at peace in a realtionship with anyone, much less an older man or younger woman. The human spirit is always in need of something more, especially if you have no spiritual foundation.

Sometimes couples in love (or in lust) must allow for some distance from one another to sort out their emotions. We must be sure that the relationship we so desire is in fact meant to be. It doesn't matter how financially secure your older partner may be or how much nicer he is than your past lovers, you have to know that you know that you want to be with your partner forever! This same concept applies to the mature man dating a younger woman. She looks good, feels good, and acts mature for her age, but she has to complete you! Like you, she has feelings and with each passing year, she is steadily growing into an older woman who has goals, the last thing she needs is a broken heart so young.

We all must be mindful of people's feelings as well as our own in any relationship. When we are not, someone most likely will get hurt. Too many "settled" people are also selfish people. They expect others to revolve around their worlds and not the other way around. Too many young people are too carefree, to the point, that they don't see beyond the material. When no one wants to share their lifestyle or has a myopic view on how to relate to one another, there will be an unsettled feeling somewhere deep within one's heart. And because of that feeling, one will not marry, will not trust, will not give up his or her space, and will question the future. Until you know that you know, take one day at a time before committing.

Nicholl McGuire

Young Women: When He's Up, He's Up, But When He's Down...

In such a rush to grow up!
Couldn't wait to get that drink in your cup.

Thought you had everything figured out.
Gave God a praise and even a shout.

But now you realized that the one in season--
is not the one you really want to be pleasin.'
Young woman grow up!
Drop your teacup.

Look at the man, he isn't for free.
He is playing you plus three.

There's one for his head
and one for his bed
and one he's hoping will be dead.

Plan on cashing an insurance policy
Been living a lie-- one big fallacy.

Get out while you can,
he's just an ordinary man.

When he's up, he's up
but when he's down, he's down.
little man will hang to the ground.

Then what will you do?
No love connection between you two.

You might have a baby,
a premature old lady.

Don't take his name,
there all the same!

Help him with money--
plus you gave up the honey.

He's not interested in your mind,
more concerned with your behind.

Got a feeling some of you needed to read this,
because you realized a relationship isn't all bliss.

Run while you still have a dime.
Learn while you still have time.

Nicholl McGuire

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.--Proverbs 31:30

Do You Date Older, Younger?

Lots of material is on this site about dating older men and younger women. So do you date either? How has your experience been so far? What do you hope to change within you? Your comments are welcome.

I personally didn't start dating older on purpose, it just happened that way. It seemed the men that were attracted to me were 10 plus years older. When I was younger I didn't mind the age difference so much. But now, it bothers me somewhat, because I am getting older.

Feel free to share your experience in the comment section below. Thanks for stopping by.

When the Younger Woman Awakes to What She Really Wants...

She sits across the table from you and looks at how your physical appearance has changed since those early days she first laid eyes on you. You may have noticed how she too has changed. As much as she wants to look beyond physical appearance, it can be difficult. She sees younger men and notices things about them that compliment her age. Meanwhile, she relies heavily on her feelings for you to keep from fantasizing too long about her younger counterparts.

An awakening has taken place in the young woman's life that makes her question, "Why am I really with this older man?" Sure, she may have articulated some years ago the basic things like, "love and security." But as she matures, she realizes there is more to her decision-making when it came to being in a relationship with you. Depending on how she has been impacted by you over the years, will determine whether she will stay or go.

Trying to figure out a younger woman with an older mindset might be tricky. You see, there are some women who don't care too much about age until it starts affecting how she sees herself and what she wants out of the relationship. When age differences play a part in her younger world that she may not have noticed some years back, look out, because she just might not stick around if she no longer sees any benefit when it comes to dating an older man. "Did I start dating him because I thought he had money? Did he give me a home when I was down and out? Was he there for me when no one else was? Do I want marriage and a baby?"

Younger women want providers, father figures, protectors, mentors, and other related titles in their older men. Sure, some will say, "No, I just want a nice man." But seriously, look at her background and you can easily determine what she really wants in an aging man with few too many exs and adult children. You will need to put yourself in her shoes for a moment particularly if the relationship is suffering. If you have been with her for some time, have you been all that she ever wanted or did you fail like say, her daddy or favorite uncle?

If the father daughter relationship was a good one, then she just might be in the relationship for other reasons that have nothing to do with this article. The courtship may continue to go strong as long as you are holding up your end of the bargain. However, if the father daughter relationship was negatively impacted, chances are she is hoping you will continue to fulfill the void (especially when it comes to love)-- that is until she has her awakening.

Going back to the beginning of this article, youth drives some younger women's awakening experience. The very thing that may have drove you to her may drive her away from you to someone else. You wanted excitement, beauty, and personality, and she will want that too. Ask yourself this, "Do I exemplify what she really wants in a man her age? Does she really want me for me?"

Nicholl

How to Look Good to Women Even If You're Average Looking Or Below at a Relatively Inexpensive Cost

If you're a rich or famous man, you automatically look good to most women no matter how average or below average looking you are. Chances are you're not reading this if you are rich, famous or both. No matter what people say, looks are important as they affect how people initially perceive you. If you look attractive, the door is open to a woman taking the chance to at least knowing you if she's single and free. If you don't look attractive, most of the time a woman isn't going to give you the time of day no matter how wonderful a person you are. Knowing that you look attractive helps give off a vibe of self-confidence and you'll probably feel more comfortable with yourself as opposed to feeling insecure.
What follows are some easy tips on how to relatively transform yourself at relatively little cost, except step 1, no matter how average or below average looking you are:
1. If you have noticeably bad looking teeth get them fixed immediately. This one might cost you a bit, but it's worth it, as one of the first things people notice about someone is bad teeth. Bad teeth indicate you either don't care about your appearance or can't afford or are too cheap to get your teeth fixed. Now I'm not saying you have to have a Hollywood smile which costs a fortune, but at least you shouldn't have fang teeth, crooked teeth and gaps. If you don't fix your teeth, most of my other points won't help.
2. Get in at least average shape. If you're noticeably overweight, go on some kind of diet and gradually lose the weight, jog and work out with free weights at home 3 times a week. You don't need to look muscular or anything but you should at least look relatively toned. The end object should be that at least someone won't look at you and notice that you look out of shape. It's not important that someone looks at you and is turned on by your body but that they're not turned off by it. I would not try to lose a lot of weight at once as the skin on your face might sag, but do it gradually.
3. Get your hair styled and if you're happy with it, always use the same hair stylist. Always tip your stylist well and listen to them. This will not make or break your bank as believe it or not, places like Supercuts have some excellent stylists and the cost of a cut without extras is under $15. I would bring with you the first time either a previous picture of yourself which you liked your hair or a magazine photo of a style you like and ask the stylist to cut your hair that way unless the stylist doesn't think it would work on you now. I would rely on what the stylist says. Tell them that they shouldn't cut your hair too short, if anything leave it too long. Look at both the front and the back when they're done and if something doesn't look right, tell them so they can still fix it. Don't judge your hair on how it looks till about the 5th day after it was cut. If you like it, get someone to take close up pictures of the front and back. Next time you get your hair cut again, bring the pictures in and only get your hair cut by the same person. After about 5 visits, your stylist will know how you like your hair cut and it won't be necessary to bring them in again.
4. If you don't already have them, get yourself a couple of pairs of decent looking shoes and always have them looking shined. You'd be surprised at how many women notice a man's shoes first before their clothes.
5. Always have your clothes neatly pressed and cleaned and make sure they are tailored to your body which most department stores will do at little cost when you buy your clothes. Make sure you are measured for the right size shirt, pants and jacket. If you can afford it, I would recommend owning at least 2 nice suits and some sports jackets from a designer label. If you can't, try to at least own decent looking clothes that you can get from a department store that specializes in clothes like say a Macy's as opposed to a place like Marshall's. There usually are decent sales at Macy's. You can always use the internet to shop for clothes online. Also buy some decent looking ties as there is nothing worse then wearing a cheap tie with a good suit.
6. Unless you have a mustache or beard always shave in the morning and shave before you go on a date.
7. Take a shower, at least once a day.
8. Brush your teeth and floss at least once a day and before you go on a date.
9. When going on a date for the first time, I would try to wear your best suit and tie or sports jacket and tie, if you want to give her the look that says you are a successful person with a good job and career even if it's not true, unless that will not impress her at all. You want to come from a position of power. Who knows, if she gives you a chance, the fact that your not upwardly mobile might not bother her! The important thing is, don't lie about yourself either.
10. If you are losing your hair, I would try treating it or going to Hair Club For Men and getting a Hair Piece. I did and I was quite happy with mine and no one was even aware it was a hair piece! Don't be afraid or embarrassed about people at work or in your daily life seeing you in your new hair. Within about 2 weeks they'll be use to it and won't notice it any more. I'd even tell them that you got a hair piece right away which would help mitigate any anxiety you might have.
I should add, if nature truly gave you an obviously bad prominent feature such as a large hooked nose, I would get plastic surgery on it if you can afford it no matter what nonsense a family member might say. Don't think of it as something that shows character because you're only deluding yourself. I'm not advocating getting plastic surgery unless you have a truly bad prominent feature that other people notice. The most important thing to remember is, the more confident and less insecure you are with yourself, the more attractive others see you.
By P. Hershon

Why You Can't Find A Good Man

Why is it so hard for a good woman to find a good guy? I mean most women would bend over backwards for the right man. You treat him like a king and yet he still does not want to commit or even return your calls. What is really going on?
It may be that you are going after the wrong guy. No matter how good you are, if you are trying to get someone that does not want to settle down to settle down, you WILL fail. Not might, could or possibly. You will fail.
I have seen so many of my female friends give so much to get so little in return. They get frustrated by the lack of good men and settle for some guy that is not even worthy of them. They then "hope" that he will change. He is just not being "loved" the right way, they say.
WRONG. He is not changing. If he is getting every thing he wants being the way he is, why would he change. The problem is not him. You are trying to get him to be something other than what he is. You want him to be relationship material and he is not.
Wishing does not make it so. Just because you hope, wish and pray for a person to change does not make it likely that this person will do so. Can it happen? Sure, but do you want to bet your love life on it? You have been doing that all this time and what has it gotten you.
The answer is to find men that are ready to settle down. Men that are tired of the games and lies and looking for just one woman that will treat them right. Once you have found that type of person, the rest becomes easy.
The problem is that many women are looking in the wrong places for these types of men. The clubs and friends will not bring you the man that you want. Besides if he is so great why would she pass him on to you. No look in new places and you will find the right guys that will bring you the relationship that you deserve.
Happy Dating!

The Worry Over the Age Difference

He may have joked about your being a baby or was angry and accused you of acting immature. She may have commented about how old you are looking lately or laughed about how much older you act when in certain situations. It happens, the reality sinks in that she is young enough to be your daughter or he is old enough to be your dad. Before long, you are stressing about the large gap between your ages.

The thoughts of age differences come and go like a nagging headache. You would love to feel comfortable in this relationship, like you did with all the others when you started out, but you are finding it more and more difficult. How many times will you think, “When I was only this age, he was…” or “When she was only a baby, I was graduating from college…”? Don’t ignore those gut feelings. Some important differences are beginning to show and you will need to think about what makes you feel this way, address it, and if there is no resolve, consider moving on.

Sticking around with someone who you aren’t 100% convinced you want to commit to a long-term relationship will only conjure up feelings of resentment and thoughts like these: “Why did I ever get involved with him? What was I thinking when I slept with her? Who am I kidding, she is just too young! I could never see myself with him forever!”

When you least expect it, out slips something you wish you could take back. The next thing you know you find yourself or your partner is apologizing. However, insecure feelings have already arisen and there is nothing an apology can do. He or she will most likely worry over, “What did you really mean by that statement?” for a long time.

The best advice, when it comes to those age difference worries, is to take the time alone (without your partner, family or friends in your ear cheering your relationship or booing it.) Begin to start thinking long-term. The person you are dating has feelings and would very much like to know how you really feel about them. Tell the truth, because if you don’t, your actions (or lack thereof) will speak louder than words. Unfortunately, that’s when relationships problems really start showing up such as: the silent treatment, phone calls go unanswered, a partner starts dating others without officially breaking up, dates decline, arguments are more frequent, and lies increase.

Advice for the Older Dating Man

There are questions I believe for older men getting ready to date that sound a little like these! “Is it worth it?” “Do I have what it takes?” “Can I find a good woman who isn’t too dependent?” “Am I able to attract someone who I will want to marry?”

These are all good and relevant questions, and as advice for the older dating man, for us, they are all very important. We have usually worked now for the majority of our lives and like most older women, we have a lot to bring into a relationship that we could end up loosing. This is a world in whose moral fibers seem to be slipping into darkness.

At the same time technology has advanced to the point where we have more options at our finger tips for finding that elusive soul mate or trying our hand at a second or third marriage.

My advice for the older dating man is this; as a connoisseur in this arena and over fifty, it is to get to know your perspective mate. Is there any hurry? In some cases there may be, only to avoid temptations that would go against any spiritual beliefs. On this subject I can only say that faith is an essential additive in your progress. If the potential mate that you finally find is of your spiritual persuasion then you need to look for the spiritual fruit that only comes through maturity in the belief that you share. Even a mature Christian or whatever persuasion of faith that may be shared can fall into their own willful rut of relationship suicide. This is sometimes unavoidable. In these matters, the only advice I can give is to grasp a healthy and potent dose of forgiveness for the offensive person’s actions and heal thoroughly before trying again. For some, this seems to be an insurmountable task.

I want to address the questions posed above one at a time. A resounding, Yes, it is worth it! Man nor woman was not meant to be alone, nor to grow old without that intimate love and sharing that makes a person complete.

Do you have what it takes? Yes, all of us are of value, all of us have something to offer a potential spouse. We, no matter how ugly we may feel, we can be someone else’s dream husband. There’s an old adage that applies even to us men, and it goes like this, “one woman’s trash, is another woman’s treasure!” Of course it actually was, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” but that had to do with real trash! My advice for the older dating man is, remember what you’re made of!

What’s important is that we have to be able to accept ourselves, before we will be acceptable to our potential spouse. Men, it is imperative that we know who we are and where we have been. It’s important to know what you want and where you want to go! While competence and maturity is an essential part of our character, keep it from becoming pride and arrogance. Your relationship, if it even begins to evolve will fall flat on its face in the midst of those two negative attributes. Women want a man who is confident in himself, but mixed with enough humility to create a proper balance.

As advice for the older dating man, women need a caring and loving man; not a boastful, cunning, arrogant, idiot. By the time we reach that over the hill status in our life we need to have shed those childlike qualities that say- this man never grew out of adolescence!

Can you find a woman who is not too independent? That is a good question! There are a lot of women out there who although their lifestyle or actions may say, I don’t need a man, deep inside; they need us as much as we need them. We were made to be together and to be in love, and not any other way!

To answer the last question, we can be attractive in many ways. Women aren’t as concerned as much at an older age about external qualities as they are with the inner man. We need to be mature, consistent, have integrity in what we do, be honest and being able to be romantic is a very necessary ingredient. At an older age, vanity is not as prevalent and many women can see through the love handles, the pitted facial qualities, the saggy skin and the bifocal lenses to the heart of a sincere, honest, humble, and warm heart and embrace your other qualities as well. So my final advice for the older dating man is this; show them a man who is real and that will last through the rest of the senior years. Better grow old together than to grow old alone.

Aaron Baker

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Tips For Dating Older Men - How to Keep Them Interested

Women never know who they might run into in the dating world. There are all types of men out there - shy ones, talkative ones, shorter ones, and older ones. All men are different, thus they should be all be treated differently. This here is an list of tips for dating older men. Read on to find out how to behave when on a date with men who are years older than you are.

What To Wear
It is safe to assume that most men who are older than you are tend to be more mature in their way of thinking. Revealing or shirt dresses are outfits to avoid wearing when you go out with a much older man. Most tips for dating older men would advise you to wear conservative yet attractive clothes. Stay away from clothes with loud colors such as bright orange or yellow. A solid black or red, or a combination of both, makes a sophisticated and mature statement.

What To Talk About
As with all dating advice, tips for dating older men include the type of conversation you should be having. Keep the conversation interesting by swapping humorous stories, talking about movies, food, hobbies, and any light topic. Talk about things that you both care about. If he is into sports, ask him how he got into it. Give him tidbits of information about you. Most tips for dating older men would advise you to be careful not to talk too much about yourself, as that will seem very selfish and immature. Unless he is the first to bring it up, which is unlikely, do not talk about business or serious family matters on your first date.

How To Keep Him Interested
Mature, older men tend to have a lot of things on their mind all the time. To get inside his head, and maybe his heart, you have to keep him interested. One of the best tips tips for dating older men that you are ever going to get is to make him feel young again. An older man would greatly appreciate a young woman's fresh ideas and points of view.

Yap Shirley has been writing articles professionally, both online and offline, since 4 years ago. This author is not only writing in the subject of health, but also in dieting, fat loss, fitness and many other more.

Midlife Crisis, Depressed and Anxious, Do Something About It

Often portrayed in only humorous terms in popular culture, male midlife crisis has very real physical causes. Beginning around age 30, testosterone gradually decreases, and can lead to depression, decreased sex drive or erectile dysfunction. In addition, a corresponding increase in SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) impairs the body's ability to use testosterone.

As well, as men enter midlife, they sleep more lightly, spending less time in a state of deep sleep. This can lead to weight gain, fatigue and irritability because the body is unable to make enough of the hormones required for energy and optimal functioning.

Doing Something About Male Midlife Crisis

There are several steps you can take to improve your overall feeling of well-being and reduce the likelihood of related worries such as sexual dysfunction.

Managing stress will help you sleep easier, as well as reduce symptoms like irritability and fatigue. A daily B-complex vitamin can reduce stress, and minerals like selenium and chromium can boost energy.

Getting plenty of exercise not only has the obvious physical benefits, but it also encourages the quality deep sleep that is important for men undergoing the physical changes of midlife. You should also avoid stimulants like coffee several hours before bed.

Testosterone replacement therapy may also be an appropriate solution that helps mitigate the effects of male midlife.

How Is Testosterone Involved with Male Midlife Crisis?

A consistent finding in the scientific literature is that testosterone increase even by replacement therapy produces an increased feeling of well-being. Published studies show that low levels of free testosterone correlates with symptoms of depression and other psychological disorders.

According to Jonathan Wright, M.D., co-author of Maximize Your Vitality & Potency, the following effects have been reported in response to low free testosterone levels:

• Loss of ability to concentrate
• Moodiness and emotionality
• Touchiness and irritability
• Great timidity
• Feeling weak
• Inner unrest
• Memory failure
• Reduced intellectual agility
• Passive attitudes
• General tiredness
• Reduced interest in surroundings

Two major issues of a man in midlife crisis - depression and anxiety - are directly related to his current levels of bio-available free testosterone. Proper testosterone replacement therapy can deal effectively with much at the heart of midlife male depression by boosting the levels of bio-available testosterone in the body.

Is Testosterone Replacement Therapy Right for Me?

The first step toward testosterone replacement therapy is a physical exam and a series of blood tests, including a PSA (protein-specific antigen) test, are ordered to measure testosterone levels. If testosterone levels are low, your physician can discuss the various treatment options. Many insurance companies cover the costs of andropause treatment, and male menopause treatment can often be purchased with a tax advantaged, flexible savings account.

Male hormone replacement therapy and testosterone replacement are effective, low testosterone treatment options for men with andropause. If you have any symptoms associated with andropause, such as low energy, irritability, hot flashes, abdominal weight gain, loss of muscle strength, loss of sex drive and the inability to maintain an erection, talk to your doctor. The sooner you speak with a physician and get checked for low testosterone levels, the sooner you can begin feeling like yourself again.

What to look for in a Male Hormone Replacement Therapy Provider:

1. Look for a male hormone replacement therapy program that is tailored to your specific and individualized needs.
2. Ensure your hormone program is under the supervision of a physician that is trained in hormone deficiencies in men.
3. Monitoring of your hormone levels. The original test for andropause should only be the first in a series of tests. You will want to have your blood tested periodically to ensure the current program is optimized for your individual needs.
4. Experience. Be sure the entity with whom you work has a solid track record. If they are trying to sell you hormones -- be careful. If they are telling you what they do and how it relates to you needs in an informational frame work -- be hopeful and encouraged.

Jim Michels is an expert on how to treat low testosterone and andropause symptoms. His company renewman.com focuses on male menopause and andropause and specializes in treating male menopause symptoms through male hormone replacement therapy, testosterone replacement and low testosterone treatment

She's Mature for 21...

"She's mature for 21..." That's what they all say, but in all actuality there are many differences that are not so "mature." Here are a few to keep your eyes wide open when you are dating someone 25 years and less.

1. The first argument.

You know you are dealing with an immature woman when she can't explain herself without crying, fighting and or threatening to hurt you in some way.

2. Money.

You always have to foot the bill whenever you go out while she is always saying, "I need..." She still has alot of growing up to do in the financial department, so if you aren't willing to carry or teach her then leave her alone.

3. Health ailments.

Whether you or she is having issues mentally and/or physically, remember she is young and has a lot of life that has yet to be untapped she may grow weary of caring for you (unless of course there are benefits.) On the other hand, you may not have a lot of life to care for someone if she is the ill one. So choose what you are willing to put up with before things get too deep between the two of you and then you or she wants to bail out when things turn for the worse.

4. Children.

She may not have any and you may have a few. What's the likelihood she will want children someday? Think: when you were in your early twenties you said many things you didn't want, but ended up having everything you didn't want. If you know for certain no more children for you, then protect yourself and don't trust that she will always remember to take her pill.

5. Exs.

Does she act different toward you when you have to pick up your children from their mother's home? Does she seem like she is annoyed when you talk about exs? Do you still remain friends with exs even though she has asked you not to? These are all real issues that cause long-term problems if you don't handle them from the start of the relationship. Be open about your relationship or lack thereof with exs when dealing with a younger woman.

6. Common sense.

Common sense unfortunately isn't too common even among the best of us, so with that said, never assume a younger woman who doesn't have as much experience in emotional/physical relationships as you will understand your needs and how to treat you.

7. Street smarts.

It is very easy to take advantage of a niave young woman who has been sheltered most of her life. If you consider yourself a "good man" do her and her family a favor, don't play games! You don't want to shake hands with her father knowing full well you aren't interested in being committed to his beloved daughter. You don't want to win mom over if you know you are having trouble shaking off the exs, balancing a checkbook, or keeping your apartment tidy. Meet the parents when you know you have your self together! One thing parents can see a mile away is a man who is street smart and they will advise their daughter against dating "the old player" especially if dad, uncles, and other men in the family have and are still playing around themselves.

In closing, remember don't play and you won't get played. These young women nowadays don't really need a man like previous generations; however, there are always those who will pretend like they do.

Nicholl McGuire

The Unavailable Man

“What goes around comes around,” so the old saying goes. During my twenties, single and childless days in the 90s, I was approached by many family men. They thought they had it going on with their young wardrobe and lingo. They wanted to show me, who at the time was a hip woman back in the day, what they knew about my generation. I wasn’t necessarily turned on by the gray hair, the age mark here and there, and what I would call the “old man” odor, but I was turned on by their success. I wanted to learn a thing or two from these men, but I definitely didn’t want to be responsible for breaking up anyone’s happy home. These married men were slick back then and so I hear, the game hasn’t changed much. Taking off their rings, silencing their pagers and offering to take me to places far away from the city these were just a few things I experienced with older married men, I was still young so I had yet to learn the game.

When I did catch on, I used the knowledge I had learned and put one married man to the test. This slickster used his sister to call me, because he was busy with his wife. I didn’t know he was married until that phone call. I told her about herself and him and warned her to tell him never to call me again. Had I pursued a relationship with this attractive guy who had a great salary to go along with him, I would have been considered a home-wrecker. One battle was won, but there were more tests that I would face as I got older. I admit I had my share of wins, but I also had some situations that were too close for comfort and as I said earlier, “What goes around comes around.” Later, I would be cheated on by someone I once loved.

Flirting is harmful. Talking to a married man on the phone periodically about things non-related to business is not okay. Sitting down in a restaurant after work hours discussing everything but business is playing with fire. I honestly believe that some single women need to associate their struggles with relationships now with what they did in their heyday. Think: Did you go out with married men? Did you have an intimate relationship with these men? Back then you may have thought that your youth will stay with you, now some of you reading this are older and don’t feel or look as attractive, but are still attracting older men. Some have become a little absent-minded about the past and never talked to God about it or asked for his forgiveness. I know some people don’t believe in curses, but I think some of us have put curses on our own lives by what we say and do.

We may tell someone how we are such a great person and we could never do wrong, but behind closed doors we are calling ourselves an idiot and saying why we will never have a good relationship or never have children. Reverse the curse, my sister! You could be blessed if you were willing to say and do the deeds that would make you feel good about yourself, rather than do things that hurt you and others. Is it really that important to you to keep an unavailable man in your life? Do you really think that what he promises you will be achieved? Will you be content with what you have to do to keep his gifts coming? Nothing in life comes for free there is always a give and take relationship somewhere. What are you willing to risk to get what you want?

I know of women as I type who have sold their souls to the devil. They will do just about anything to get ahead. They love the fact that they don’t have children because it’s just one less obstacle they have to jump over to achieve fame and fortune. While they are fighting for a place, position, and/or power, they are teaching young girls to do exactly the same things they are doing to get ahead. Their actions say, “Sleep with the boss. Shake your behind and the money will come. Tell this man everything he wants to hear. Keep your mouth shut with this one and you will have favor with him even if he is wrong. Go with this man and he will take care of you. Smile this way, dress that way, talk this way…Change your hair color, straighten your curly hair…” You name it, whatever the magazine, television, agent, doctor, even their mother says to make them look and feel sexy and desired by the public, they will do it all the while getting hurt in the end. At some point someone is going to see Jezebel’s (an evil woman in the Christian Bible) flaws and expose them to the world and there she is at home sitting on the floor crying, depressed, wondering why her life has become such a mess. When you keep feeding the world garbage they are going to want more and more and more until you are spent! Eventually they will be taking the garbage out and dumping it into a grave until they can find "the next best…" You fill in the blank.

I have witnessed unavailable men seek after available women like pimps looking for hoes, because it’s an ego boost for them. They can spot a desperate woman a mile away and they work out their plan before she even looks their way. He knows that if he says all the right things and she behaves herself, he can have his way with her. But when she doesn’t, depending on how rich and powerful he is, he may drop her, take what he gave her back (or in some cases he may get a gift or two like a disease) or worse attempt to kill her. A woman who acts like trash gets treated like trash. If the woman is a mother, she may be spared the games, because she has innocent children that don't need to be caught up in drama, but a child-free slut doesn’t stand a chance. She can’t excuse her disgraceful actions with, “I did it for my kids.” What kids? “I did it because of love.” What relationship? “I did it because I wanted to get ahead.” Really, then the public will label you as a hoe or a selfish b*tch, take your pick. Meanwhile thinking, "What else will this slut do for the mighty dollar?" There she is the single, relationship and child-free woman being escorted to someone’s basement, office, car, garage, woods, ready to be sacrificed like an animal. If she does what she is told, she gets what she is asking for, but most likely her master, I mean old man, is going to tell his friends about her. If she doesn’t do what they ask of her then she will be hurt emotionally and/or physically. But if she is a good little hoe, she just might get some more bills paid.

Nicholl McGuire, author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

What to Do When a Man is Withdrawn & Emotionally Cold! This is Ultra Important For You

Many men are emotionally unavailable. They have a lot of excuses just to get away from creating any emotional intimacy with a woman. This is really sad especially if his partner feels the other way around. So here are some things women can do if his partner is emotionally unavailable.

First is to check your own behavior. Maybe you are just too busy concentrating on all his negative attributes that you missed out your own actions. Maybe, it was you who has the real problem and he is just acting out to make you realize it.

Next is to give him space. Maybe he can no longer breathe because you are already suffocating him with your presence. Give him some time to go out and have fun with his friends. Do not call or send him any messages when he is out enjoying a day without you.

Third, do not try to control him. Men hate it when their girl is too possessive or bossy. Let him have a voice in your relationship.

Fourth, do not try to change him because it can only make matters worse. Instead try to act like you support him, but gradually instill to him what needs to be changed. They hate it when women tell their flaws, let them change on his own.

Fifth is to let them see how good it feels when someone is emotionally available. Never think of revenge and make him feel what he has done to you. Instead show him how to be emotionally stable, let him see the good in it.

Sixth, is to expose him to couples or people who have a very strong bond to each other. Let him see how happy they are just by being in love and emotionally available. This will make him think about it and sooner or later apply it on your relationship.

Lastly, do not give up on him too easily. Give him a chance, maybe in time he will see the beauty of a serious relationship and would be ready to try it out. Maybe time is all he needs to finally take your relationship to the next level. Patience is a virtue, and sometimes a better life awaits those who are patient enough.

When a man is emotionally unavailable it is best to find out what made him act like that. This way you will understand him better and would know how to deal with him.

By Russell Jackson

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