The Worry Over the Age Difference

He may have joked about your being a baby or was angry and accused you of acting immature. She may have commented about how old you are looking lately or laughed about how much older you act when in certain situations. It happens, the reality sinks in that she is young enough to be your daughter or he is old enough to be your dad. Before long, you are stressing about the large gap between your ages.

The thoughts of age differences come and go like a nagging headache. You would love to feel comfortable in this relationship, like you did with all the others when you started out, but you are finding it more and more difficult. How many times will you think, “When I was only this age, he was…” or “When she was only a baby, I was graduating from college…”? Don’t ignore those gut feelings. Some important differences are beginning to show and you will need to think about what makes you feel this way, address it, and if there is no resolve, consider moving on.

Sticking around with someone who you aren’t 100% convinced you want to commit to a long-term relationship will only conjure up feelings of resentment and thoughts like these: “Why did I ever get involved with him? What was I thinking when I slept with her? Who am I kidding, she is just too young! I could never see myself with him forever!”

When you least expect it, out slips something you wish you could take back. The next thing you know you find yourself or your partner is apologizing. However, insecure feelings have already arisen and there is nothing an apology can do. He or she will most likely worry over, “What did you really mean by that statement?” for a long time.

The best advice, when it comes to those age difference worries, is to take the time alone (without your partner, family or friends in your ear cheering your relationship or booing it.) Begin to start thinking long-term. The person you are dating has feelings and would very much like to know how you really feel about them. Tell the truth, because if you don’t, your actions (or lack thereof) will speak louder than words. Unfortunately, that’s when relationships problems really start showing up such as: the silent treatment, phone calls go unanswered, a partner starts dating others without officially breaking up, dates decline, arguments are more frequent, and lies increase.