A age gap dating advice blog that provides valuable tips when dating older men and younger women. Thought-provoking relationship tips for older men seeking to date younger women. Please be advised to seek a professional for serious issues. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling. This blog is not for people under the age of 18.
Monday
Five Signs He is a Good Guy But Boring
1. Listen to him when he tells you what life was like for him before you came along.
Now most women want to hear from their new partner, "I was just going about my days watching TV and wishing for someone like you." However, that should actually be a turn off to you! Here's why. If he didn't have a life before you then he won't have much of a life with you either especially after the newness of your dating relationship wears off. If you are an active woman, you want an active man!
2. He is often looking to you to make plans on what to do for entertainment.
You may enjoy planning everything now, but what happens when money woes become an issue later and he expects you to not only plan the date, but pay for everything too? Looks like the two of you won't be getting out much.
3. Whenever you talk to him about going places, he finds fault with your suggestions. This will get old with anyone. No one likes to be rejected or criticized for every interest they like. This is not only a sign that you have someone who isn't much on trying new things, but he may also be the controlling type -- better start distancing yourself!
4. He can't enjoy life without you. This seems flattering in the beginning of the relationship, but as you become more comfortable with this person, you will want to do some things without him too. If he starts showing signs now of clingy behavior, imagine what that might be like if you commit to him for a life time!
5. His idea of a good time seems to always be staying home. This is a clear indication that you have a future couch potato boyfriend and an insecure one too! The relationship might work if you are just like him, but if you are not, woe to you! Don't settle with someone who is already panting on the first lap! "I'm too tired to go out...didn't we go out last weekend."
Now that you have five signs this guy may be a future bore for the active you, don't do anything stupid like marry him! There are nice, genuinely active guys out there who don't have to put on an act.
Nicholl McGuire has past experience dating older men and online dating. She penned a new book entitled, Laboring to Love Myself and she tweets @datingdramas on Twitter.
Tuesday
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When He Thinks You Are Dumb
You see, young woman, no man wants a dumb blonde on his arm for a lifetime, so to those of you who are acting -- stop it! Let your intelligence show before its too late! Just like in school your teacher gives you a pop quiz to see if you were paying attention, the older man will do the same. Sometimes he doesn't know that is what he is doing until after he realizes he has been asking the kind of questions of you that will help him make a decision whether you are wife material.
The one major thing that separates the mature woman from the younger woman is life experience. The mature woman will underestimate the young woman because she falsely assumes that all are "babies, stupid, wet behind the ears, don't know any better, still young." However, the mature woman has a rude awakening when she realizes she is out of the running when a young woman steps up to the plate and shows her that she knows a thing or two about life too.
Part of stepping up to the plate is concentrating on your man. Studying him like you would a text book and knowing how to answer his questions when the time comes. Some of his questions may be about your interests, your hopes for the future, how you feel about him, where do you see yourself in five years with him (or without him) and how do you feel about his family. Depending on how serious you are in your commitment to him will determine how you answer his questions. If he is nothing more than a friend (someone you haven't slept with) then answer the questions selfishly, because you aren't interested in a future with him. But if you love this man and you can't eat, drink, or sleep without him, then be careful! You don't want to scare him off by preaching about me and not we.
Be smart young woman and you will go far! But act dumb and all you will be is nothing more than a toy for an older man!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself, Amazon.com http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com
Wednesday
Younger Women Watch Out for Jealous Women in Mid-life
You may have already noticed the negative attitude of these women. They roll their eyes, they say condescending comments like, "Aren't you cute? You are so young. Aww your still a baby! You are like a little sister to me." No matter how nice they say these little statements, these women are insecure with your youth and God bless you if you are beautiful because no matter what you do, some of these women will find fault with you!
There is something that arises in us when the presence of a beautiful woman or handsome man walks into a room. We may adjust our clothing, look at ourselves in the mirror just a little longer, add just a tadbit more make up, or toss our hair just a little bit more. Some of us just don't know how to behave around nice-looking people especially insecure women!
You are a light in that older man's eyes and you are also a dagger to those women in his family and those he has befriended who are insecure. Therefore, knowing this, be careful what you say to these women. Avoid talking about your man negatively to them. And most of all, when you are being disrespected by them, communicate that to your man. Some older men will not tolerate such foolishness, others will defend their family and friends or find excuses for them. The latter action is sad and unfortunately may make matters worse in your relationship. Both of you need to be in support of one another especially when their are jealous women in the midst.
It may be hard for him to realize his beloved sister or best friend is actually an un-supportive, jealous, insecure (you fill in the blank) and even if he doesn't believe it now, what is in darkness will come to light! If you believe in a greater power do the following: pray about your relationship, how you deal with matters as they arise, and believe that God will make your enemies your footstool!
Be encouraged!
Nicholl McGuire is the creator of this blog and the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate located at Amazon.com.
Younger Women Dating Older Men - Why May-December Relationships Are Doing So Well These Days
Women in their 20s are becoming very frustrated these days about the current dating scene and there are many reasons for this. One reason is men in their 20s have become very immature compared to how they used to be 20 to 50 years ago. Back then, men were not only more romantic but also concentrated their efforts on courting one woman. For instance, the men used to walk up to a woman's doorstep with a nice bouquet of roses in one hand and chocolates and the other. Don't get me wrong, I'm not focusing on material gifts here, but more so on the effort that man used to give when they were interested in a woman. These days young men just skip the roses and focus all of their efforts into trying to get women in bed. They don't want a relationship, and all they care for is to try to get as much short-term pleasure out of these dates as possible. In other words, men in this age group have become very shallow and self-serving.
Younger women dating older men find that these men are much more mature than the younger guys and know how to treat a lady right. Right off the bat older men are much more caring and communicative on the date. They will start by asking a woman to tell them anything about herself. They want to know what her goals and dreams are, and they will be attentive enough to try to help in any way they can. If you ask any young woman, they will say that communication is the key to keeping a relationship strong. Older men understand this also because they have already been through their immature and selfish years and truly understand how special a monogamous relationship really is.
In a May-December relationship the older man not only can keep up with the younger women in bed, but can also hold his own as far as doing the chores around the house, paying bills and taking care of children. Not only are these kinds of relationships on the rise, but they will be here to stay for a long time.
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By Bob RandookeFriday
Barely Legal - Older Guys Dating Teenagers?
Are you an NBA fan? If you watched the playoffs, then no doubt you saw the T-Mobile commercial where Charles Barkley is constantly calling D-Wade. Hilarious stuff, particularly when Chuck inanely spouts, "That's why I don'teat shrimp."
Well, despite all the marketing hype in the Seduction Community about pulling the youngest hotties possible (especially if you're an older guy), that's pretty much how I feel about dating eighteen or nineteen year old girls, even if they are "legal".
And for those of you who might be assuming that this is all a function of my current age, I've pretty much viewed the universe this way since I was 21, with a few scattered exceptions
Not coincidentally, you see, at 21 years of age is when a guy in the United States (like me) can finally order a beer.
It's not that the younger girls aren't often really, really hot...you and I both know they are.
The deal is that they're unnecessary.
As I see it, I can find a woman who is at least 21 who looks every bit as intriguing as any 18 or 19 year old. And then, I can take her A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E I want.
Otherwise, her restrictions become my restrictions. And I've been through with being relegated to "Teen Night" at the local club for over twenty years now.
Think of it...they are teenagers, after all.
They are barely through high school, let alone college. This means that there has not yet been any chance to cultivate the necessary level of independence and maturity that most older guys invariably demand.
Now if you're 30 and still living in your Mommy's basements, all bets are off. Disregard the previous statement.
But otherwise, my educated guess is that most guys of any advanced age beyond 21 probably only THINK they want "barely legal" girls in their rotation.
By using the word "rotation" above, I'm telegraphing the raw fact that I'm too squeamish to think that any older guy out there is seriously talking about making a teenager his steady girlfriend.
In fact, here it is: I really think that the vast majority of guys who think they want to date teenage girls are in that frame because they can't get them.
Simply put, the fantasy is clearly better than the reality.
Beyond the matter of social restrictions and maturity level, there are yet two other factors that are arguably even more significant.
First, if you are at all interested in any kind of long-term relationship with a woman, dealing with a teenager is the proverbial "box of chocolates".
How many teenage couples do you know who have broken up by age...oh...21, because the "grew apart". With real-life experience comes real change in priorities and even personality itself.
Further, how do you know your 19-year-old girlfriend is going to look great at 30?
You don't.
Recently I was interviewed for an upcoming product for older guys on how to date younger women. The guys producing it are well-known, but I hadn't yet had the chance to meet them when they approached me.
Suffice it to say they got a unique perspective.
Ultimately, I'd much rather find a woman closer to my own age who still gets carded. That way, you get the hot, sexy little vixen of your dreams...all with the added benefits of social commonality, emotional maturity (we hope) and the blessed assurance that this woman will most likely continue to age well.
Apart from online dating, where everyone's stats are pinned to their respective profiles, the main challenge to me always boiled down to actually identifying the kind of women I'm talking about.
After all, we don't walk around with a cartoon bubble full of stats over our heads in real life.
But my very real, "field-tested" premise is that there are women around us wherever we go that look and seem far, far younger than their age.
Humorously, most such women I've met report that they get hit on mostly by guys many years their junior, who are shocked to find out their real age. Meanwhile, these same women are flat-out craving to be approached by guys their own age, who are largely assuming they are "too young".
The ironies abound, don't they?
So what of this?
You've just got to have the guts to meet them and find out, that's what. The problem is that "approaching" equals "pickup" to virtually every guy out there.
Meanwhile, if I'm friendly and start an unloaded conversation with even the fresh-faced girl behind the check out counter at the grocery store, I may find out she's actually 28. But this will only happen if I can get outside my own head, drop the "agendas" and stop seeing every single interaction with any woman as "pickup".
Oh yeah, I mentioned there were two other important factors, didn't I?
How's this...how do you really know your "18 year old" is 18? If it takes the potential of handcuffs and iron bars to make the point, so be it. You don't want to be the guy who finds out his new girlfriend is only 16 or 17 after the law says it's too late.
By the way, don't count on meeting her parents as proof of age. A shocking number of them are more than happy to help her "protect" you from the truth.
Scot McKay's character-based dating and seduction strategies for men are found at: http://www.thechickwhisperer.com Stop by right now and Scot will personally send you a FREE 8-part mini-course ($47 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter. Also be sure to check out The Chick Whisperer podcast on iTunes. |
Wednesday
Traits Of A Good Man-what Every Woman Must Know
The first thing that you ought to search for is integrity and character. These are qualities that are necessary in a lifelong partner.
Traits of a good man will let you know what he stands for, the morals he lives by, plus the morals that form his actions. This determines how he treats you and the way he treats himself. His personality is vital, yet don't confuse his personality with his character. His personality is the way he presents himself to the world, the way in which he expresses himself on the outer surface. His character is what he is on the inside, his substance.
In order to understand how to recognize traits of a good man, you must get to know him and had honest conversations with him, and this is included with time.
If you find a person who is fully commited to growing in addition to improving himself as an individual, and that wants to discover everything he can concerning being a greater individual, rest assured that this is a decent man.
If he's approachable emotionally and honest with his feelings and he expresses those emotions to you, you are likely to think that the door to his heart is open.
Is he mature and responsible? This means that he has grown up and doesn't act similar to a child, and he does not require you to look after him. Being trustworthy means he does what he says he will do. He keeps his promises and shows up on time.
Does he possess a confident approach toward life? Does he notice good on the earth, in you, plus himself? He ought to make you feel good when you're with him. Keep away from the man who's a unenthusiastic person that is always cranky. Such a human being will drain all your power and bring you down.
Does he have a superior self-esteem? Does he feel good about who he is and how he lives his life, and does he take care of himself? A person can only be in love with you if he loves himself. He also does not permit others to mistreat him or you.
Does he have integrity? Is it possible to count on him to be straight with you at all times? Is he honest with himself and you? Honesty and integrity are crucial for a long term relationship to survive. You want to admire the way he treats other people.
In order for you to acknowledge the traits of a good man, you need to have these similar qualities. One must always care for a man not just for external appearance but for who he is on the inside as well.
By: Jos Mahan
Tuesday
The Significant Age Difference: An Issue with Family
It can be troubling knowing his family have had a better relationship with his past girlfriends than you; however, don't let that disturb your inner peace with who you are -- if age is indeed nothing but a number then by all means keep it that way!
Jealousy, lies, confusion, bitterness, and more are in every family and his is no exception. Since you have come into his life, there may have been some hidden family issues that have now surfaced. He may have seen a different side to his once kind mother, his wonderful sister, and his easy-going brother. They may have criticized his choice in a woman either to his face or behind his back, "Why did you pick someone so young? What's going on with him, did he catch a bad case of midlife?" Whatever the comments he has had to endure since dating you, he will have to be the one to either stand with you or cave into the pressure and end the relationship -- its all up to him.
What you can do is stay true to who you are and your beliefs. If you and he believe in the relationship, then it will last, but if only one or neither of you don't, it won't.
Keep in mind that at first everyone who says, "I don't have a problem with..." In time the truth comes out and they really do have a problem. Their issue, not yours!
Enjoy your relationship while it last! Ask questions to find out the truth about his feelings before you commit. Finally, know that everyone will not like you and there is nothing in the rule book that requires you to make friends and influence people who don't like you!
Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/helpforpeople
Friday
How to Go About Dating Older Men
Francis K. Githinji is an online dating expert. His latest project Free Online Dating Service shows how the power of online dating can be harnessed internationally and with great success, or you could post your valued comments on his blog at Dating And Relationships Magazine.
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Thursday
Lies Young Women Believe from Older Men
So what do you have to do young ladies? Be one step ahead of the game. I know that men stand back and watch and learn about us so that they know how to play the game, but the key is to present everything out on the table and that eliminates the need to play games.
Do you want an older man for just sex? Yes or no. If you answered yes, then tell him that. If your answer is no, then he needs to know that especially if you have other reasons for befriending him. Maybe you are a young woman trying to escape your strict parents, if so, not a good idea to run into the arms of an older man, even though he would be more than glad to accommodate you, but you want to be more than a man's sex toy now don't you?
Naive women believe all sorts of lies! They believe a man when he says, "I love you" especially after a good sexual release. They believe him when he says, "You are the only one for me" even though another woman's voice was heard via the cell phone saying, "See you later, Sexy!" They believe a man if he says, "I was working late, honestly" but every time you try to reach him hours after the workday is over you can't get him!
As much as you want to believe that man you find yourself falling in love, please do fact check ladies! That's right, make his so-called smart self THINK you believe him. There is nothing wrong with double-checking what anyone says. Chances are after you are finished reading this, you will double-check with someone to see if what I have told you is good information or not, so do the same with that man who promises you everything!
Mature men have been walking this planet for a long while and some of these young women, who think they know-it-all and no one can tell them anything, believe they can walk circles around them. Don't be so sure! You just might be the one being left broken-hearted with egg on your face!
At least in the beginning of your romance, have fun and enjoy what he has to offer, but when things like, "Let's move in together. Let's get married. Let's have a baby. Let me meet your parents..." come up, you better be fact-finding what is on this man's mind including performing a background check on his "too good to be true" butt!
Your older man may be having some things on his mind that he isn't letting you in on at least not yet. He may feel pressured to get married and have children, because all his buddies have all done it, his mother is a Christian, his dad wants grand-kids, or his emotions are temporarily going haywire!
Know what you are getting yourself into before you stop taking birth control, packing your bags to move in with him and more. Have a deep conversation with yourself and learn how to strategically play the game of life, like chess, anticipate your opponent's every move. Trust me, he is doing it with you!
Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/nichollmcguire