A age gap dating advice blog that provides valuable tips when dating older men and younger women. Thought-provoking relationship tips for older men seeking to date younger women. Please be advised to seek a professional for serious issues. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling. This blog is not for people under the age of 18.
Saturday
Tips For Dating Older Men - Top 5 Tips on Dating Older Men
There are lots of advantages in dating older men. They are emotionally much more mature. They have also already established themselves in their career and life so they have ample time to devote to their woman. But older men will always go for self confidant women. Be prepared to put your best foot forward.
Have a life of your own. Always be smiling, having a zest for life. Be upbeat, don't fret over negativities of life. This will put you in an advantageous position as you will be always glowing from inner beauty which in turn will make you more attractive to older men.
One of the vital tips for dating older men is to be a woman with a positive attitude because they don't want their women to be an appendage. Older men want their woman to be independent, vibrant and full of life. They want you to contribute positivity to the relationship.
For dating older men you must be prepared to give them the rein of the relationship. Don't be aggressive, let them lead you. At their age they like to take the upper hand as they are more experienced than you are. It has nothing to do with your capability or a reflection on your abilities. Moreover they will treat you like a lady. Learn to let them open the door, pull your chair, and the like. Chivalry is not dead with older men. So go on... just enjoy it!!
While dating older men you should take care not to show your affection in public places. They are not very comfortable with it. Older men are inclined to be more reserved in public and quite demonstrative in private, of their affection. Don't fret if he doesn't hug or kiss you at the street corners or when you are out with him.
Dating older men doesn't mean the end of your sex life. It is exactly the opposite. With mature men you will have a great time in bed, as with his age, he has gathered lots of experience. At his age he need not prove anything about his sexuality, so he will take more time, effort and care to satisfy his partner.
Only difference in your sex life may be about the frequency of it. Because, for older men companionship, sharing experiences and ways to relax with their woman take predominance. He has reached a point in his life where he is comfortable with who he is without having to prove.
by Sara M. Jones
While looking to attract older men, first be convinced that this is the category you want to go after. Then arm yourself with some awesome tips for dating older men at http://www.relationshipguide.org/howtoattractmen
Tuesday
Younger Women Dating Older Men
Most women will admit that they want a strong man who can stand his own ground and be confident; and generally speaking, many women appreciate the maturity of an older man. It's no secret that the qualities that women are looking for in their future husbands are the same qualities that men slightly older than them display. Most women assume that older men are well trained at being a gentleman, are more civilized and more capable of providing for and supporting whoever they are with. They also feel older men have probably been married or at least have gone through a lot of different relationships, have learned how to treat a woman and how to give her what she wants and/or needs.
When it comes to dating younger men, many women feel that these guys still have a sense of immaturity about them and that they don't know what it means to really treat a woman. It's a well-known fact that women mature faster than men, and if a woman wants to date an older guy, it's probably because she's had her fill of the 23-year-old party animal who still believes he's invincible and can't even remember her name. Mature, younger women, who are no longer interested in dealing with the games and attitudes of younger guys appreciate an older man's life experiences and the fact that they're over many of the games they may have played in their younger years. Also, if a younger woman is ready to start a family, she feels older men might settle down sooner.
In the discussion of older men younger women dating, there are some women who will argue that older men only ask them out because they take longer to grow up and mature or only want a trophy girlfriend on their arm to boost their ego. Another argument to dating younger women is that older men miss out on meeting a mature, wise and appreciative woman their own age. While this may be true in some cases, in reality, most older men who date younger women do so because they feel that women younger than them have more energy, spontaneity and less dating baggage. They simply want to feel rejuvenated and youthful again and make their sex life more adventurous.
The real disadvantages to this type of relationship for an older man dating a younger woman is that there may be a difference in the energy levels between the two of them. The age difference can cause a big difference in interests such as music, social activities and morals. If an older man doesn't keep up with the younger woman or perhaps loses his financial stability and/or health, a gold digger might lose interest in him and leave him rather quickly.
Ultimately, older men dating younger women must be able to deal with the attitudes of others who stare, those who comment about the age difference, the negative attitudes of those who just disapprove, and the many other challenges they may be faced with. Older men younger women dating can be wonderful as long as both of you know what you are looking for and where you want to go with it before you get too involved.
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Dating For Today's Man was created to be the online men's portal, designed to provide men with features on dating, love and women with subject matter that interests the general male population.
Friday
How to Go About Dating Older Men
Francis K. Githinji is an online dating expert. His latest project Free Online Dating Service shows how the power of online dating can be harnessed internationally and with great success, or you could post your valued comments on his blog at Dating And Relationships Magazine.
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Great Tips For Dating Older Men
No two women are alike. While some women enjoy dating men that are similar in age to them, other women prefer either younger or older guys. Although many aspects of dating different aged men are the same, there are some unique considerations if you are interested in someone who is significantly older than you. Older men often offer something unique to the women in their lives. Not only are they more emotionally mature than younger men, but they are already established in their lives and careers. This gives them the advantage of usually having more time to devote to the women in their lives. One of the most helpful tips for dating older men is to be self confident just as they are.
Mature men often come into a relationship with self confidence. They've done the dating and relationship thing before and they know exactly who they are and what they are looking for. Being confident is incredibly attractive to every man and especially so to an older man. Don't apologize for any of your self-perceived shortcomings and embrace who you are as a woman. Never be ashamed if you are a little overweight or if you don't have that executive job that you've always dreamed of yet. Love who you are and an older man will be more likely to love you back. This is really the most important of the tips of dating older men.
Remember that older men may have a different set of values than you do. If you like to hold hands and be affectionate in public this may not be something he's comfortable with. Someone who is older than you was raised in a different time than you and may feel that cuddling is best left in private. Let him guide you in this situation. If you are out shopping or having dinner and he reaches for your hand, embrace his. Letting him set the pace is one of the tips for dating older men that you want to always keep in mind when you are together.
Treat him once in a while. Many older men are very chivalrous and will insist on paying for everything when you two are out together. This is obviously a really lovely gesture but it's also nice to take the reigns sometimes and treat him. He'll really appreciate how thoughtful you are being and he'll love that you value him just as much as he does you.
Specific things you say and do can make a man feel helplessly drawn to you. If you are convinced he is the one there are things you can do to ensure he only has eyes for you. For more insightful tips about understanding men including a way to get him to fall deeply in love with you, visit this informative site!
By Gillian ReynoldsYou don't have to leave love to fate or chance. If you are tired of waiting for him to fall hopelessly in love, there are things you can do to make it happen now. Find out right now what you need to do to capture his heart forever.
Thursday
Why Some Young Classy Women Won't Date Older Men Again
An older man who is pushy about getting a young, classy woman to date him isn't always going to win in the end, if anything, he just might prove a negative viewpoint or two that a bitter young woman has about him. So when an older man sees the writing on the wall, "She's not interested," keep it moving!
1. She no longer finds dating older men interesting.
Maybe it was at one time fun for her, but as she grows older she realizes that dating a man simply for curiousity sake and what he can do for her is simply not right or good enough. She desires more for herself.
2. She is not attracted to the way men double, even triple her age, looks.
At one point, she could look past the gray hairs, age marks, and wrinkles, but now she prefers to look at someone with less flaws.
3. She is doing quite well in life without an older man.
When she was struggling, she didn't mind having an older man or two around, but now that she is doing well, she is fine without them.
4. She finally started listening to family and friends about not dating mature men.
Her loved ones told her that she shouldn't be dating older men and what if she wants a family one day. They convinced her that she was "classy, better, smarter, more active than her old boyfriends, have years of growth and opportunity while they will settle down and one day die..."and whatever else they said to her to cause her to lose interest in older men.
5. She has been burned far too many times to keep taking chances dating older men.
From young guys to old ones, she has just grown weary of drama and would prefer to stop dating awhile. But when she returns to the scene, she rather take her chances with someone her own age with less issues.
6. She feels like they want to dominate her--keep her in the house.
After having been watched and guarded like an animal, a young woman wants to be free of some older men's strict ways and control. Despite not all mature men being this way, she doesn't want to risk her freedom being with the insecure, jealous type yet again.
7. She finds most mature men boring, not on her level spiritually, physically and or mentally.
A man with a lot of unresolved issues will negatively impact a young woman who is positive and happy about life. Some young women just lose interest in men (young or old) that retard their growth in becoming a strong, independent woman that they want to be.
Mature men, when you specifically know why a younger woman might not be interested in you any longer, you use what you know, and work hard to be more attractive to other young women who just might be willing to date you. Don't pursue young women who have made it plain, "I don't like you." Even if you are a success at winning her to you, it doesn't mean that she will remain with you for all the right reasons. You just might be a temporary fix for her until someone better comes along.
Step back from your conquests for a time and ask yourself the following: Do you find that you are overbearing, suffocating, or seek to dominate young women? What have they said about you in anger? Have you taken care of your past business with other partners or are you still somehow connected to them? Are you the type who likes to play mind games with young women rather than take them seriously? Is there something about the way you look, talk, or dress that turns women off?
Until an older man can honestly look at his flaws, he will not find a young partner suitable for him that would be willing to stay in his life while being that sweetheart he so desires.
Take care of your issues--whatever they might be before thinking about dating a classy young lady.
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday
What's There Not to Love About Dating Older, Dating Younger?
My name is Nicholl, the creator of this site, and I can tell you that for years I have been exposed to older men very interested in dating younger women. I have personally dated my share of older men as well and married two (one I am still with to date). But as I began to exit my energetic 20s and entered into my insightful 30s, what I thought I liked about dating older men had changed and what I thought they liked about me had changed too.
You see, the more you date, the more you learn about the manipulators, liars, pimps, players, and others who have far too many personality disorders to count amongst the good guys who just want to make you happy. As a young woman, you find yourself having to put up with some old fools, for a time, because you got yourself in a situation or two that you can't immediately exit without some degree of difficulty. Then, as you mature, you realize some older men just aren't as fond of you as you might think or portray. You discover they have been with so many women physically over their years, in addition to grappling with one or two mentally, that their mental capacity for dealing with yet another new face is overloaded. You discover that some (of course not all) mature men aren't really thinking or believing in long-term relationships anymore.
There is plenty not to love about dating someone younger who is immature, unstable, and still angry with dad, her last boyfriend, and everyone else in between. Further, one just might find that his young date may be a disappointing "all show, but no go." The same holds true for the older man who naively thinks that simply decorating himself up with some nice clothes and "smell good" while filling his pockets with some cash is all that it takes to keep a young woman interested. This tactic doesn't work for the wise young ladies on the dating scene. They are going to eventually request more time, affection, attention, and love and when the old player doesn't deliver, it is on with the next one. The young lady will be looking to exit the relationship sooner rather than later.
Take the time to list everything you don't like about dating someone older or younger and then ask yourself, "What am I willing to tolerate?" Taking this moment to reflect just might help you be more selective when it comes to dating older men or younger women in the future.
Nicholl McGuire contributes to this dating blog site as well, click here.
Tuesday
Tips For Dating Older Men - How to Keep Them Interested
What To Wear
It is safe to assume that most men who are older than you are tend to be more mature in their way of thinking. Revealing or shirt dresses are outfits to avoid wearing when you go out with a much older man. Most tips for dating older men would advise you to wear conservative yet attractive clothes. Stay away from clothes with loud colors such as bright orange or yellow. A solid black or red, or a combination of both, makes a sophisticated and mature statement.
What To Talk About
As with all dating advice, tips for dating older men include the type of conversation you should be having. Keep the conversation interesting by swapping humorous stories, talking about movies, food, hobbies, and any light topic. Talk about things that you both care about. If he is into sports, ask him how he got into it. Give him tidbits of information about you. Most tips for dating older men would advise you to be careful not to talk too much about yourself, as that will seem very selfish and immature. Unless he is the first to bring it up, which is unlikely, do not talk about business or serious family matters on your first date.
How To Keep Him Interested
Mature, older men tend to have a lot of things on their mind all the time. To get inside his head, and maybe his heart, you have to keep him interested. One of the best tips tips for dating older men that you are ever going to get is to make him feel young again. An older man would greatly appreciate a young woman's fresh ideas and points of view.
Sunday
Advice Every Young Woman Needs When Dating an Older Man
Many young women are dating older men not having a clue as to the differences they will encounter in the future. These differences are not as obvious as the physical ones, but there are mental ones that every woman should be made aware. As a result they have led to many men breaking up marriages ten years plus for younger women, going into depressions, having children late in life that they regret having, and so much more.
Younger women must be prepared for a possible future heartbreak that may leave them confused and bitter for the rest of their lives if their not careful. The following advice may or may not have been shared with you by some well-meaning family member or friend. If you are having problems as a younger woman understanding an older man, then take heed.
Older men have their reasons for dating a younger woman. A well-educated, wealthy, handsome, older man is not dating a younger woman for just mere shallow reasons like "she's pretty and athletic" neither is an ignorant, poor, ugly, older man. His reasons may be even more complicated since he doesn't have everything going for him like his handsome friend. If you are a younger woman with discerning family members and friends they may have already told you to "be careful" and they may have questioned your choice and asked you what does he want with you?
So what does he really want with you? Well you will have to get to know him in order to find out the answer to that question. Since many younger women are busily preparing for their careers, involved in various activities, and spend time socializing with friends, they aren't spending a lot of time getting to know their older men. Unfortunately, it is very easy for the mature man to say and do things that may ultimately hurt his younger mate's feelings in the end. Some younger men can and will do the same, but for the purposes of this article we will not be talking about them.
Do you know for a fact that your older man isn't still married? Are you aware of the children he may have had in previous relationships? What about the bills that he won't tell you about? Can he really take care of you like he has promised? Are you the only woman in his life? Have you met any of his male and female friends? How close are you with his relatives?
Let's explore some of the reasons he may have wanted to date someone 10, 15 or even 20 years younger. Some men have admitted younger women don't have as much "baggage" as older women. By baggage, they mean past experiences with men that have usually been negative. He is hoping a younger woman will bring a physical energy to his life that wasn't there before, more on that later. If he isn't a parent already, he may be looking to procreate. Older men with controlling personalities, don't want women who are "mouthy" meaning women who will speak their minds, independent thinker types. He also won't appreciate the younger woman being close to family and friends, because he doesn't want their input to expose whatever he may or may not be doing to make their daughter happy. With some older men, their objective is to find a younger woman who is naive, and will cater to his every need. This may or may not describe your man; however, a good way to find out is to ask questions, observe whether what he does aligns with what he says. Is he communicating with you about all sorts of subjects or just one or two like sex and music? Does he seem to be comfortable wherever the two of you go or does he seem quiet, distant not really interested in any thing except getting you back home? When you find an inconsistency in his statements and actions then you will know what kind of man you are dating.
There have been many younger women who have been deceived into thinking that an older man has more money, time, patience, and skill than other men. This kind of shallow advice has unfortunately come from people who have had good experiences dating older men. However, nothing could be further from the truth. There are many older men who struggle with paying bills just like younger men. They don't always have time on their hands to spend with their younger mate mainly when they are looking forward to retirement; therefore, they may be putting in longer hours at work. As for patience and skill sometimes they may have less of it than younger men simply due to the aging process and the time period at which they grew up. Things were really different back in their day. You, as the younger woman, will have to recognize and respect those differences.
Speaking of health ailments, men between the ages of 40-55 show signs of what some call "the male menopause" also known as andropause. This is a health condition that occurs when his testosterone levels begin to decrease. When this occurs, he becomes increasingly tired, moody, experiences hot flashes, a decrease in libido and other related conditions. Some men also experience a mid-life crisis and when this happens he begins to think about the things in life he has accomplished and what he has yet to do. If he isn't satisfied with how he has lived his life he may become depressed or he may overcompensate for his lack by doing things to make him feel better. Some of the things he chooses to do may not seem practical to others such as buying the car he always dreamed of, dating you, leaving a marriage that he has been in for over ten years, dressing like people half his age, obsessing over his appearance, etc.
While he may be going through andropause, the women who he has dated in the past or the one he was married to may have been going through menopause. He may not have been able to handle her mood swings, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, wavering libido and all the other symptoms that menopausal women face. Remember earlier I told you he might have been looking for a younger woman with more physical energy? Well, another woman's menopausal symptoms may have been severe enough to drive him into your arms. Rather be understanding of the aging process that women his age experience, he looks to find a younger woman who doesn't have these symptoms. However, what he has forgotten, in his quest to find less baggage, is that women of childbearing age will have menstrual issues and if they become pregnant will go through similar issues that menopausal women face. Find out why he really left his previous mate and if it was for reasons such as "she was moody or tired all the time." If that is the case, then don't believe that he will understand when you go through your menstrual cycle or become pregnant.
This information is vital to have when you are dating older men or think that they are better than men your own age. Know that if you should date an older man, there are shallow ideologies that you must rid yourself from thinking. Rather, go into your future relationships, desiring the following: "a man that will sincerely love me with all my faults, be patient with me, have hope for our future even in the storms, and respect the people whom I love." The money, fame, fortune or anything else you are seeking come with hard work and are shared with the spouses who are in the relationship for the long haul. Young women who have sought men solely for these qualities may be riding in the limousine for a moment, but in time are kicked out with their bags left on the curb wearing humiliation on their faces.
Friday
10 Reasons Why Dating a Mature Gentleman Might Be Good for You
1) When she has had more than enough failed attempts at dating men in her age group.
2) When she has found that she is the one spending more money and time on men who simply are all looks and no go.
3) When she has been told repeatedly that she acts older, wise, or mature for her age, but the partners she picks are immature or too young for her.
4) When she has seen far too many connections around her lead to break ups, separation or divorce. She might learn a few things from experienced widows who stuck it out with their wives for over 20 plus years.
5) When she knows that she isn't the least bit attractive to young men.
6) When she can clearly see in the mirror that she looks older for her age and the men in her age group aren't showing any interest.
7) When she has been accused of being over confident, knows too much, or expects too much from young men.
8) When all she seems to attract is older men.
9) When she desires things that only a mature, wealthy gentleman can afford to give her.
10) When she is tired of feeling insecure with young men.
You probably can think of a few more reasons as to why a young woman would be better off with a mature man rather than someone close to her age. However, keep in mind that no matter the age, all men have their share of issues you just have to make up in your mind what you can tolerate.
Happy dating!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues.
Monday
Be Patient: You'll Find Him or He'll Find You
Anyway, I wondered what to expect dating men with thinning hair, grey hair sprouting from here there and everywhere. It was an adjustment every time I dated an older man. Like men, I too am a very visual creature and I had to put aside my personal hang-ups and see the man for who he really was -- a human being, period.
The mature men I met were really no different than the younger men except that they were more stable in their finances, moved a little slower, seemed to hold an intelligent conversation, and really seemed to be into me. I didn't have to worry too much about the wandering eye and the short attention span of a younger beau.
As I learned more and more about these older men, at times I was impressed with their knowledge and other times I felt that I acted more mature than they. I met my share of irresponsible older men, the kind who acted like they had it together, but in reality they didn't. The older women had pushed them out of their lives and now they were desperately seeking anyone who would put up with them. Those men were such a disappointment. I would think, "You decided to reach 40 plus years and act like a fool! You still have nothing to show for your life." In time, I learned more about the mid-life crisis that older men faced and it wasn't any wonder that some was looking for anyone and anything to make them happy.
So what do I want young women to know about older men? Well I say plenty on this blog, but for now one thing you need to know is to be patient.
That's right be patient in any and everything you do when involving yourself with a mature man. If you don't have much dating experience, you will find that he can easily do things to make you feel like he is the best thing since slice bread; however, one day in the midst of feeling in love, his emotions can come crashing down, leaving you feeling broken and depressed asking, "What happened? I thought he loved me!" Some of these men are only in love with the idea of being with a young woman, but not committing to her for a lifetime. Besides if you are a beautiful, energetic woman who clearly has a life and he is the total opposite, he knows that eventually you will meet someone better than him, so he will attempt to end the relationship especially if you aren't acting that interested in him.
Know what you are getting yourself into when seeking out a man half your age or more. He is coming with years of experience and baggage. You may admire his intellect at first, but later it may grow on your nerves because he knows so much more than you. There are times that you might question whether you are with this man because you have some kind of daddy hangups. Maybe daddy wasn't in your life, he didn't seem to care about you, he didn't love you and so fourth. If this is you and you look to your older man to fulfill the role of your dad, then you are headed for trouble! No man can or will replace the love of dad, no man!
When you are ready to take your relationship with an older man to the next level, do heed the advice of the women and men around you. Chances are they all grew up around the same time. So they have a pretty good idea what his mentality may be like particularly if he had a dad in his life. As the old adage goes, "It takes one to know one." The men "back in the day" are much different than the men of today. Women were not as independent as they are nowadays. A man who saw his dad and mother interact from yesteryear, may expect you to be the docile, submissive wife. If you know you couldn't ever be docile or submissive then pick a man your own age or one who can accept you for who you are.
Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/nichollmcguire
Dating Rich Older Men - What Younger, Needy Women Don't Think About
I got the opportunity to speak to women who date older men and they were at times naïve when it came to talking about them. They were like giddy school girls who just saw a handsome boy walk by them. The eyes brightened, the speech sped up, and their bodies moved around a bit as if excited to talk about the subject. These women didn't think too much about the possibility of future disappointments like their allowances or gifts being cut off one day by their rich dates. They were too busy thinking about those promises their guys made such as plans to attend special events, give them gifts and eat at five star restaurants.
tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com |
Most rich, older men don't abandon jobs, forget about children (and sometimes exes), and they aren't thinking too much about keeping a sexual partner around for too long. Instead they enjoy the "in the meantime" experience with an attractive, young lady and then on to the next best thing. Workaholic older men are too busy thinking about jobs and money to care much about a lover's feeling, accomplishments, and other things that matter. The selfish simply want their periodic sexual desires met with no strings attached. It isn't any wonder why many are divorced--the "it's all about me" philosophy doesn't go well with marriage, children, and household responsibilities.
The wealthy but cheap older men spend a great deal of time in doors on off days. They don't like going out much because all that means is more money spent that they prefer to save. Some young women are blind-sided by this type because they start off treating them so well, but in time the newness wears off and the older men's true selves begin to show especially after they have received what they wanted, sex with a beautiful woman and companionship. When things become dull, they grow weary of dating and relationships. So they give their all back to jobs or businesses while the gullible women check their phones hoping to hearing from them. "Could he be back with his wife? What am I going to do, he doesn't send any money anymore? I was starting to fall for that guy..."
What many gullible women overlook, at least initially during the early dating stages, are the self-absorbed attributes in successful men. They are consumed with getting their needs met from the start. The signs aren't easily recognized because these men tend to attract women like themselves. Selfish women are too busy focused on themselves to pay any attention to warning signs that a date might be trouble. When a woman is immature and desperate for things like: attention, money and sex, she won't think too much about how she is treated until her needs are no longer being met. "What's up with him? He use to be so nice. He gave me whatever I wanted! Now he is so mean!"
Dating rich older men is a bit different than dating broke, younger men. The men who know they can buy just about anyone or anything, expect to be pleased. So they want more for their time and money than a broken man who is just happy being with a head-turner 10.
Young women who date rich put up with things that other women wouldn't even consider. This is because most women are looking for more in a relationship besides money and gifts, but not the 10 looking for a 10. She wants cash, business, opportunities, and whatever else that rich man can afford to give her!
Since many successful men know that most people are after their cash, property, etc. they are going to be guarded and will not always come off as nice and accommodating especially when they are aware of a young woman's motives
. Whether you are rich and older or young and broke, know that whatever your intention if it isn't good, expect to be taken advantage of sooner or later.
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and is the author of She's Crazy (a book for battered men).
Sunday
Dating Older African American Men
The first mature man that took interest in dating me was a 41 year old who was hiding his thinning hair as best he could. I accidentally brushed up against it once and he straightened it out as fast he could while looking downcast. I apologized and felt bad for him. Anyway, I was happy to go out with the nice guy still in college like me at the time. I was especially proud to be seen with him after seeing the black Stingray I would be riding in on our first date! Not a rental--he owned it because he was one of the few guys I met who did some wise things with his money during his youth.
My parents jaws dropped when they heard the sports car arrive in the front of their home. They forgot all about how old he was and he didn't look his age which was alright with them--I guess. I didn't bother to get their opinion, I was too busy thinking about all the fun I was going to have with this one.
The tall African American gentleman slowly got out the shiny car that looked like it just came off the showroom floor. Once he saw me coming down the stairs outside my parents home, he headed over to the passenger side to open the door, he smiled warmly after looking me over. I was dressed to kill and just as sharp as the automobile!
He wasn't the first man that would take me to quality restaurants, make promises of traveling around the country and elsewhere, and talk of making me a wife and mother one day. The same year more older men, more promises, gifts, and dates. Later came promise and engagement rings from the divorced, the married getting a divorce, the friends with benefits, the abusive man, and the momma's boy. The following year and more years to come more of the same.
I noticed a pattern while dating older, black men I dated born around the 1960s (Civil Rights Movement)--they were chauvinistic and a few angry. Yep, I said it. These men enjoyed the company of beautiful women, complimented them much, and even bought them some things, but wasn't much interest in personal opinion, counsel, or requests unless they benefited in some way. On top of the loveless connections (at least on my end) I wasn't the only woman with several, I was one of a group--the fresh meat, the rebound chic, the smart one, or PYT (pretty young thang) that was also being persuaded to wait for whatever--a relationship, money, car, home--whatever! But of course the sweet lines of, "I will drop everyone for you...You are so gorgeous, sexy...I love you. I will leave my wife..." Huh, what wife?
Anyone who has dated a black man knows how charming they can be with their smooth words. They can melt the underwear off of you--I kid you not! While giving you small tokens, some are expecting you to pay for major purchases or invest in their dreams. I noticed when tactics didn't work with me and other black women, some of these same men went off to be with white women--didn't bother me, enjoy.
I did not like the subtle as well as blatant control tactics many of these men used to feed their egos. I could see that there was also some commitment issues with many of them that's why I didn't continue to date them. Given that there is less than 15% of African Americans in the United States (last I checked the population stats) that means there isn't a whole lot of available men. You have many incarcerated, gay, bi-sexual, ill, and too young to date of that percentage. Those suitable for dating are great catches but have their share of issues including: unemployed, addictions, mental disorders, exes, children from previous relationships (and mothers who don't necessarily want to let them go), dating inter-racially (not black women) and have mistresses or girlfriends. A smaller percentage are faithful and mainly at home when not working but also have their woes. The dating scene is indeed tough when it comes to connecting with quality older black men and even more challenging when trying to marry.
Things are even more difficult when there are those African American men, who are single and childless, but don't take care of themselves. They seek younger women, but they don't get very far because some just aren't attractive. However, with a fat wallet, suddenly they are "fine" and "sexy" according to some single, gold-digging women of all races.
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday
Younger Women Dating Older Men - Why May-December Relationships Are Doing So Well These Days
Women in their 20s are becoming very frustrated these days about the current dating scene and there are many reasons for this. One reason is men in their 20s have become very immature compared to how they used to be 20 to 50 years ago. Back then, men were not only more romantic but also concentrated their efforts on courting one woman. For instance, the men used to walk up to a woman's doorstep with a nice bouquet of roses in one hand and chocolates and the other. Don't get me wrong, I'm not focusing on material gifts here, but more so on the effort that man used to give when they were interested in a woman. These days young men just skip the roses and focus all of their efforts into trying to get women in bed. They don't want a relationship, and all they care for is to try to get as much short-term pleasure out of these dates as possible. In other words, men in this age group have become very shallow and self-serving.
Younger women dating older men find that these men are much more mature than the younger guys and know how to treat a lady right. Right off the bat older men are much more caring and communicative on the date. They will start by asking a woman to tell them anything about herself. They want to know what her goals and dreams are, and they will be attentive enough to try to help in any way they can. If you ask any young woman, they will say that communication is the key to keeping a relationship strong. Older men understand this also because they have already been through their immature and selfish years and truly understand how special a monogamous relationship really is.
In a May-December relationship the older man not only can keep up with the younger women in bed, but can also hold his own as far as doing the chores around the house, paying bills and taking care of children. Not only are these kinds of relationships on the rise, but they will be here to stay for a long time.
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Dating Older Men: What Does Everyone Really Think?
You may be the younger woman curious about dating an older man or you may be the older man interested in dating a younger woman. Then again, you may not be either but just a concerned relative or friend. Whatever your reason for seeking additional information about younger women and older men, know that you aren't alone in the way you feel. There are plenty of couples who either privately or publicly struggle with some issues as they come up and the more knowledge you have about the subject, the more comfortable you will feel about talking to an older man and younger woman. In addition, you will feel confident interacting with family members and friends with your older or younger companion by your side and/ or teaching others about your dating experiences. There are many questions and concerns about this subject of dating younger women and older men. For purposes of this article, we will discuss what some older men, younger women, friends, and family may be thinking about their relationship.
Let's begin with the first. What do young women and older men really think when dating one another? One thought the couple may have relates to the newness of the relationship. For some they have dated an older or younger mate in the past, others have not so it may be more challenging for them. Couples also think about how unique they are from other couples in their circle especially if most of their friends are significantly younger or older. They also find that because of the age differences there are some very interesting subject areas that can be discussed from hobbies to employment. Further, they may talk about challenging topics as they come up such as: short and long term goals, emotions, responsibilities, religion, ethics, and accountability. These subjects are no different than any other couple who may be the same age or closely matched.
A concern that may come up during the dating phase is what does each partner honestly think about the other? For instance, an older man may look at his younger date as being someone very unique from what he is accustomed to dating. He may also notice how energetic, fun or independent she is unlike the women in his own age group. His younger partner may see her older man as intelligent, caring, kind, and mature unlike young men she has dated in the past. Together they may complement one another because they are so different. However, sometimes these differences can get in the way of one another's future plans which unfortunately can lead to arguments and later separation or breakup. For example, let's say his young partner is interested in saving money for her college education while her older partner is more concerned about retirement. They may have differences on what each may find a priority. Without open and honest communication often, most couples whether young or old will come to an end.
The popular question of "what will my friends think" may cross the couple's mind especially with the younger woman. Since friendships are still very important to her, a young woman doesn't want to feel isolated or ridiculed because she is with an older man, so she may either distance herself from her older partner or end the relationship without what seems to be good reasons. Sometimes a new relationship may override old friends and she may grow distant or cut them off altogether particularly if they have been increasingly judgmental. While peer pressure may affect youth, it has no impact on maturity. Her older partner who has already been through that phase in his life may not care what others think. However, there are some older men who do care about his friends' opinions depending on his public involvement. For instance, an older man may cave into the pressure of his older boss, friends, business associates and others for the sake of his reputation. He doesn't want the criticism of others affecting things like: his finances, relationship with his older children, or investments because he is with a younger woman. Sometimes older friends may actually like the idea he is with someone younger if it is bringing out the best in him. They may refer to his younger partner as "sexy, fun or good for you!"
A final concern that the couple may have is what their family thinks. Although family may have been very supportive in the past about the couple's former partners, they may not be so supportive when they see a drastic change in their relative's taste in a man or woman. They may ask, "Why this man? He is just too old for you! Aren't you concerned she might be a gold-digger? Don't you think she is too young?" The family may have forgotten about the times in their past when someone didn't like their mates because they were "too flashy, conceited, rude, arrogant, angry, or irresponsible." When the couple finds that they are being inundated with negativity from family, they may decline invites to holiday celebrations, avoid visiting unless absolutely necessary, attend functions separately, and/or limit what information they share about their relationship. These are all precautions they use to protect their feelings about their mate.
The younger woman and older man may have a great, long-lasting future if they can put aside the comments of well-meaning family members and friends. They may want to evaluate each statement made by people in their circles by looking for signs of hidden jealous, criticism or personal bias.
Wednesday
Dating Tips For Men - How to Get a Younger Girlfriend
First of all, you need to know that older man dating younger women is a completely natural situation. The funny thing is, most guys think really gorgeous younger women are "out of their league."
The truth is, not only is it possible for you to date younger women -- it's actually easier than you think. The first and most essential thing to bear in mind is that women actually prefer older men.
It's true that you can definitely be dating younger women. I don't care what the women your age tell you; this is a fact.Over the past 200-plus years, the United States government has been recording statistics for the ages of men and women getting married. And every year, there is a larger gap between the ages of men and women who marry each other.
Every year, the guys get a little older on average, and their wives get a little younger.
Here's another interesting statistic: guys who tie the knot for a second time are usually doing it with women who are around a decade younger.
Here's another thing to ponder: in 20% of these second marriages, the guy is over 20 years younger than his partner.
{A woman who is twenty years younger?? Oh no! The "Femi-Nazis" get upset when they hear this! They will declare that it's not right! Deviant!
Ironically, no one seems to mind if the guy is wealthy and famous. Then he is practically expected to marry a significantly younger wife.
Donald Trump? Have you seen how beautiful his wife is? They had a baby not too long ago, and they're very happy together...
The actor Michael Douglas? (For quite a while now he's been married to Catherine Zeta-Jones, the insanely hot actress. 'Nuff said.)
I could give you a ton of other examples. It's been this way all throughout history. It's only in modern times that a double-standard has emerged -- that it's fine for a successful older guy to be with younger women, but it's somehow "wrong" for the common guy to pursue this course.
So why, exactly, do older guys have such a powerful urge to be with a younger mate? It goes a lot deeper than just wanting a hot young babe. The deeper reasons are rooted in our biology; men are hard-wired to want a woman who is healthy, young and fertile, who has the greatest chance of bearing his children and carrying on his genetic legacy.
Also, it's not only about sex and procreation. According to research, it's been demonstrated that a younger wife can quite literally lengthen a man's life span. In a sense, her youth is "contagious" and will keep her husband active (and not just in the bedroom!)
When you come right down to it, the yearning to desire to be dating younger women is a natural, healthy impulse.
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Observations of the Older Man Dating the Younger Woman
You may be the younger woman curious about dating an older man or you may be the older man interested in dating a younger woman. Then again, you may not be either but just a concerned relative or friend. Whatever your reason for seeking additional information about younger women and older men, know that you aren’t alone in the way you feel. There are plenty of couples who either privately or publicly struggle with some issues as they come up and the more knowledge you have about the subject, the more comfortable you will feel about talking to an older man and younger woman. In addition, you will feel confident interacting with family members and friends with your older or younger companion by your side and/ or teaching others about your dating experiences. There are many questions and concerns about this subject of dating younger women and older men. For purposes of this article, we will discuss what some older men, younger women, friends, and family may be thinking about their relationship.
Let’s begin with the first. What do young women and older men really think when dating one another? One thought the couple may have relates to the newness of the relationship. For some they have dated an older or younger mate in the past, others have not so it may be more challenging for them. Couples also think about how unique they are from other couples in their circle especially if most of their friends are significantly younger or older. They also find that because of the age differences there are some very interesting subject areas that can be discussed from hobbies to employment. Further, they may talk about challenging topics as they come up such as: short and long term goals, emotions, responsibilities, religion, ethics, and accountability. These subjects are no different than any other couple who may be the same age or closely matched.
A concern that may come up during the dating phase is what does each partner honestly think about the other? For instance, an older man may look at his younger date as being someone very unique from what he is accustomed to dating. He may also notice how energetic, fun or independent she is unlike the women in his own age group. His younger partner may see her older man as intelligent, caring, kind, and mature unlike young men she has dated in the past. Together they may complement one another because they are so different. However, sometimes these differences can get in the way of one another’s future plans which unfortunately can lead to arguments and later separation or breakup. For example, let’s say his young partner is interested in saving money for her college education while her older partner is more concerned about retirement. They may have differences on what each may find a priority. Without open and honest communication often, most couples whether young or old will come to an end.
The popular question of “what will my friends think” may cross the couple’s mind especially with the younger woman. Since friendships are still very important to her, a young woman doesn’t want to feel isolated or ridiculed because she is with an older man, so she may either distance herself from her older partner. Sometimes a new relationship may override old friends and she may grow distant or cut them off altogether particularly if they have been increasingly judgmental. While peer pressure may affect youth, it has no impact on maturity. Her older partner who has already been through that phase in his life may not care what others think. However, there are some older men who do care about his friends’ opinions depending on his public involvement. For instance, an older man may cave into the pressure of his older boss, friends, business associates and others for the sake of his reputation. He doesn’t want the criticism of others affecting things like: his finances, relationship with his older children, or investments because he is with a younger woman. Sometimes older friends may actually like the idea he is with someone younger if it is bringing out the best in him. They may refer to his younger partner as “sexy, fun or good for you!”
A final concern that the couple may have is what their family thinks. Although family may have been very supportive in the past about the couple’s former partners, they may not be so supportive when they see a drastic change in their relative’s taste in a man or woman. They may ask, “Why this man? He is just too old for you! Aren’t you concerned she might be a gold-digger? Don’t you think she is too young?” The family may have forgotten about the times in their past when someone didn’t like their mates because they were “too flashy, conceited, rude, arrogant, angry, or irresponsible.” When the couple finds that they are being inundated with negativity from family, they may decline invites to holiday celebrations, avoid visiting unless absolutely necessary, attend functions separately, and/or limit what information they share about their relationship. These are all precautions they use to protect their feelings about their mate.
The younger woman and older man may have a great, long-lasting future if they can put aside the comments of well-meaning family members and friends. They may want to evaluate each statement made by people in their circle by looking for signs of hidden jealous, criticism or personal bias.
Nicholl McGuire also manages the blog based on the book Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Friday
Dating Older Men - No Longer Something the Young Woman Wants to Do
She talked herself into dating them. There was the lawyer, a truck driver, a Marine, a businessman, a limo driver, a security officer, a computer technician and others--too many to count. She was thrilled by their conversation, flattered by the time they were willing to spend with her, and excited to see that they weren't like the younger men who she dated that didn't have "a pot to piss in."
As she grew older, she realized that if she was going to have a quality relationship with someone, her connections would have to be closer to her own age, but all she seemed to attract were men who were 10 plus older than her.
You see, some young women reason that dating older is a great idea until they are impacted by the highs and lows that come with getting older. They start to see their fathers and grandfathers in some of these men--often tired, difficult, stubborn, arrogant, or even bitter about getting older. They give their wives and children hell too! But the young lady says to herself, "But that is mom's relationship...and I don't think my date will act like my dad, grandfather or uncles..." That is until the older suitors start exhibiting similar signs. Uh oh! The power and control that many older men show toward their younger partners is not so attractive after all. Care turns into possession. Love turns into hate. Patience turns into irritability. Peace turns into chaos and some of you readers know the rest. If you have ever been abused by an older or even a younger man, you know how the story goes, "When we first met, it was wonderful...he was such a gentleman...but then..."
There is an emotionally and/or physically abused young woman somewhere that is no longer finding dating older men fun, interesting or beneficial. She has watched far too many times what appears to be a gentleman turn into a tyrant. She has ached on the inside for every time she was rejected, cheated on, disrespected, and wounded once again by someone who is supposed to know better. "He's older...he should know how to treat a woman. He has a daughter for God sake! Why does he treat me like this? He reminds me so much of...what was I thinking!" she cries.
If you are that older man with a younger woman who is detecting that your on again off again girlfriend is losing interest in you, let her go--let her go. This is when your maturity needs to kick in. You might even want to consider taking a break from dating the young ladies especially when you have a long pattern of striking out with them--the arguments, silent treatment, spoiled girl behaviors, etc.
The young lady has a long life ahead and chances are she has come to the realization that she is either better off alone or with someone closer to her age that she has more compatible interests. But breaking up for good can be quite the challenge if one is still emotionally and physically tied to someone. Holding on to an attractive young woman like a trophy piece will only make her feel worthless in time, because she knows that the connection is not what it appears to be--it's all just a fantasy; one that she no longer wants to play a part in. There are older men who merely want young women for trivial reasons and vice versa. True love goes beyond the flesh and material interests.
A young woman who has made up in her mind that dating older is no longer what she wants to do is liberating herself to explore her world with someone who can better relate one day. It happens, people change. The young woman should give herself permission to move on, and as stated before, and so should the older man.
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
What Some People Say About Men with Younger Women
Friday
The Wise Older Men Who will Not be Played by Youth and Beauty
Around the globe, there are many older men, whether immature or not, who date younger women, but for the wise man, he is not like other men, who may be older by number, yet still have much growing up to do.
Experienced and mature, the older, single man refuses to be misled by a wayward young woman who knows little about him or respects his life experiences. The unwise and immature woman assumes she knows him, because her father, uncle, male co-worker and ex-boyfriend are older. She may have been spoiled or not by the men in her life. She may have envisioned what her ideal younger Mr. Right might be, yet learned the hard way that he simply doesn't exist. She may have a list of 20 plus things she wants from a man, based on her conversations with older women, and still hasn't scored big. The young lady may have deceptive plans to get her needs met by any means necessary.
After learning of a young woman's ill intentions, the mature man will not be so kind, no matter how beautiful. He is aware of the youthful one who fakes interest in him just so that she can fulfill a void or worse get close to his connections, material assets or other more attractive things.
These charming young women, who unfortunately do manipulative things, will eventually "need space, want to break up" when they have had enough of the older man's resistance and wise observations. The mature man just might drive the poor girl out of his life, because he has seen that type before!
When we think of those abusive older men, who were quite cruel, to young women, we may have overlooked their reasons as to why they behaved so harshly. Of course, it is not ever acceptable to abuse anyone, but what might have triggered some abusive older men to behave so disrespectfully with younger women? For some men, they realized that what they did in their youth to others, came back around full circle and they hated their younger partners for it! The idea that someone so beautiful, friendly, and considerate could so easily and effortlessly hurt them is too much too deal with for some disturbed men, so they go off mentally and/or physically! The older men, who are known abusers, are dangerous and will not tolerate younger women lying, stealing, cheating, or doing any other things to hurt them whether justified or not.
Now the more self-controlled older man, wise in his ways, he will be strategic in what he does to learn more about the young woman who he might suspect has her share of motives for agreeing to date him. He will not be so easily charmed into believing that the woman is in like or love with him. He realizes that there is a significant age difference and so with that he will have many questions and would want very much to find out, "Why me? What does she like about me? What does she really want from me?" He has every right to question what is it about this young lady that she is drawn to concerning him especially when most young women wouldn't even look twice at him much less accept his advances.
At the start of the relationship, it will seem too good to be true. That's because it probably is! Whether the young lady knows that she has her share of personal issues or not concerning dating older men, for the logical-minded man, he knows that one day she will awake to a harsh truth, her personal reality, that someone or something was absent in her life and that the older man who is in her life now is there to fulfill that void. For the sake of her beauty, attention and warm affection, the older man, whether wise or not, just might accept his role, but in the back of his mind he knows the truth.
When dating the younger woman, the wise older man is not going to be too concerned about the challenges he faces while dating her, because as a man, most people are not going to approach him with, "Why are you dating her?" They know better. He also knows that he has more life experience so he knows that he can provide some value to her life. What may bother him in time, however, is what can the young woman really do for him? Is she an added benefit to his life or a burden? He may be tempted to "train" her into a role that she may or may not be willing to accept. During the early part of the relationship, she may be resistant to his requests and strategies. Unfortunately, she might view what he is suggesting/advising/arguing about as being controlling.
Many challenges might arise in the May-December romance, but ultimately what is to be learned is that the wise older man is not easily charmed by the youth and beauty of a woman.
Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and contributor and author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues
Saturday
Tips For Dating Older Men - Issues That Can Harm Your Relationship
If you're sensitive to criticism or negative remarks from others, then developing a thick skin is one of the best tips for dating older men. Your friends and family might not be thrilled with your choice. They might try to talk you out of continuing the relationship or persuade you not to pursue one in the first place. They can give you all the well-meaning advice they want, but ultimately, this is your life and your decision to make. Don't let these comments get to you or interfere with your relationship. Have confidence in yourself and the choices you make, so that you can enjoy your life.
If your older man has children, this could present an awkward situation for you. If his children are close to your age, they might not appreciate your presence or they might feel threatened by it. Since you're all adults, you should be able to talk these things through in a mature manner. You shouldn't have to put up with any rudeness on their part. Be open to discussion in order to clear the air. Letting hostility or resentment build up can cause some serious damage to your relationship. You don't want your man to feel that he has to choose between you or his children.
Among all the helpful tips for dating older men that you'll find, learning how to compromise is one of the most effective for maintaining a strong relationship. Although you might share a lot in common, be prepared to make some serious changes to your lifestyle when it comes to how you spend time together. He might not have the energy to keep up with a hectic dating schedule, and you might find yourself feeling bored with some of the places he takes you to. This is where compromise comes in handy. You can take turns figuring out when and where you would like to spend time together so that you can both enjoy each other's company without getting frustrated.
There are several other tips for dating older men or to attracting them in the first place, that will also help you enjoy a strong, healthy relationship. Being aware of these is essential in order to avoid problems that could arise. Remember that this is your life and you have the right to make your own decisions, but also remember that there are certain issues associated with the choices you make that could interfere with your happiness.
Need some more advice on maintaining a healthy relationship? These tips for dating older men or attracting them in the first place are important to know so that you can both be happy and stay that way for a long time! http://www.relationshipguide.org/howtoattractmen
By Anna M Jones