Younger Women Older Men - Age Gap Dating Some will Never Understand

No matter how many reasons one states as to why younger women should or shouldn't date older men, the fact remains it happens and every situation is different.  There are those reasons that the general public knows about and those reasons that lie within the individuals themselves who date younger, older.  From a past of hurt to economic reasons, one who is young dating older, doesn't enter into a relationship for nothing.  Yet, in time, for many age gap couples that's what it ends up, a dead end.  This is what you don't find out about until years later after all the newness wears off.  Yet, the older man dusts himself off after a break up and keeps trying anyway as well as the young woman.  They set their sites on someone else who doesn't mind having a May-December relationship.

Young women get older, older men get older.  The two experience various personality changes, life challenges, and other issues over their courtship that aren't easily understood.  The older man is in a different place in his life and so is his younger partner.  No youthful person full of energy is going to want to retire to a life of boredom for long.  Sure, money keeps anyone interested for a time, but when it isn't there like it once was, the personality has to outweigh the finances and oftentimes with many older men, they just don't have it like they use to, ask their ex-wives!

So many older individuals work for years only to retire without a plan that motivates them to keep living.  They find themselves often parked in front of a television set or computer screen feeding their faces and when they aren't doing that, they are doing something else that isn't all that fulfilling.  Rather than create their own personal satisfaction, outside of being tied to a relationship with a younger person, they dream.  "One day I'm going to...and then I will..." Meanwhile, the body increases in size and nothing gets done.

Some younger women will tolerate the fat, old white guy or some other ethnicity for a time, because there is something or things that those men can do for them that young, immature men can't.  If many of these young men heeded their fathers' instructions (and of course came from a good gene pool) just maybe more could land the older man's hot woman.  But so many, look at the younger women, older men dating relationship with jealousy in their eyes like a child with his or her face pressed up against a toy store window, "I wish..."  Keep wishing!

One must get his or her life together, put each piece in place and be at the right place at the right time to get noticed in order for a beautiful young woman to even think about dating him or her. Working on one's self is a process and an older man has decades of experience doing just that.  He learns and then he puts what he knows into practice while an ignorant, wild young man groans, "I don't want to do that...I don't feel like it...what if...I'm outta here!"  Why would any woman want to bother with a lazy, unpredicatable, immature, and most likely crazy young man who has nothing, but something in between his legs?  In order for any woman, young or old, to respect a man, he has to prove his worth.  So the next time someone says, "Why is that pretty young woman with that ugly old guy?"  Know this, that ugly, old guy has proven his worth--he thinks of himself better than most, has accomplished much due to years of working on building himself up and others, while reaping the rewards from his efforts.  Unwise young men, watch and learn.

Nicholl McGuire  
 

7 Signs an Age-Gap Relationship is Over

You might have noticed a partner isn't acting like he or she is interested in staying in a relationship with you.  However, you don't want to assume the worse unless you see the following signs.

1.  He/she often complains about the other, to not only family and friends, but strangers too.

Jokes, insults and other statements that make one angry come up all-too-often.  One's partner feels like he or she is not liked much less loved.  When feelings of upset are mentioned, the offending one acts uncaring and doesn't acknowledge his or her partner's concerns.

2.  He/she has feelings of regret having met the other.

"I knew she was too young...I should have listened to my family--he's too old."  The thoughts plague one's mind to the point where there are feelings of discontent and regret left behind.

3.  There is a disconnect when conversing about important matters.

From topics about one's plans to issues about a job, when the couple talks to one another there is no attempt at making one another feel comfortable and secure in the relationship.  Statements like: "I don't get you...You don't understand...why do I bother talking to you..." increasingly come up during discussions.

4.  Plans of a future together are discontinued or no longer discussed.

When someone mentions marriage, children, buying a house, moving in together, etc., the couple isn't the least bit interested.  They have avoided all communication about being together long-term, if anything, they are planning to break up in the near future. 

5.  Frequent disputes including threats or violent attacks.

Unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment have taken root.  No matter how hard they try, nothing helps.  They think about paying one another back for the last incident that left one or both with hurt feelings.

6.  Thoughts of cheating increase or has already been done repeatedly.

Everyone else looks better than one's mate.  So thoughts of a new relationship with someone else are heavy on the mind if he or she hasn't already begun the process.

7.  Lies and cover-ups about one's feelings gradually stop occurring.

The liar or cheat starts getting sloppy with their cover-ups and false story-telling.  They are showing no signs of wanting to stay in a relationship.

Once it is confirmed in your mind, body and spirit that your girlfriend or guyfriend isn't interested in you anymore, move on with your life.  Save yourself the drama of make-up to break up.  When a man or woman is no longer interested in being with one's current partner, things only get worse, they don't get any better no matter how many promises are made.

Nicholl McGuire 

Age-Gap Dating: He's Old, Your Not -- So What's the Problem?

There is no age on love.  When you love someone you just do, there are no disclaimers, no shallow reasons, and no convincing oneself through affirmations!  You aren't focused on what the person looks like; rather you are more concerned with how your special someone makes you feel.  However, when the person isn't doing his or her part to make you feel special, you will begin to see flaws--all of them.  In time, the person's weaknesses become what's important rather than everything else if you don't keep things in proper perspective--you aren't perfect either!

An older man may have his own personal identity crisis due to the aging process complete with erratic hormone levels and the like.  Sometimes he takes his issues out on his youthful beauty, other times he doesn't.  Problems arise in the relationship when there is the up and down roller coaster ride of emotions that might be triggered for any number of reasons.  One day the mature man is confident in the relationship the next, he is not.  Although age might not be a factor (just yet) with the young woman, it may be an issue with him.  The young woman isn't aging as quickly as the older man.  She isn't experiencing any mid-life crisis.  She has very few, if any, unresolved issues from the past.  Her debt isn't any where near his.  Jealousy just might rear it's ugly head with some insecure, older men.

Witnesses who interact with the couple might see some things that they don't see in the couple's relationship.  If the older man is acting in ways that make the young woman consider things like breaking up, there is cause for concern.  Despite her youthful age and look, she might be feeling like the trouble of being with someone older just isn't worth it no matter how much money, notoriety or other things her older partner might have.

If you find yourself going through a myriad of emotions related to his age, think about whether dating an older man with his own set of personal hangups is really something you can tolerate long-term in addition to everything else you might be dealing with in your life.

Nicholl McGuire

Age-Gap Dating: How to Know When the Younger Woman is No Longer Interesting in Dating You

The newness wears off in many age-gap relationships.  A mature date just isn't as appealing as he once was--it happens.  Money and gifts don't keep all young women interested in dating older men especially when she is use to having nice things.

When you think of the many young women who do enjoy the company of older men (at least for a season), you must also realize that many settle with them for a time until they are better able to take care of themselves.  Others may like the companionship, but not necessarily the way their men look. As for other young ladies, they just haven't met a charming guy their own age--yet.  But for the young women who no longer like or want to be around their older men, they will act subtle or quite boldly about how they truly feel about them.

1.  She frequently makes up excuses not to go out with him.

2.  She isn't much interested in his conversation and frequently looks away, answers her cell phone, or strikes up a conversation with others just so that he will stop talking.

3.  She ignores him when he calls.

4.  She badmouths about him to his face and behind his back without remorse.

5.  She isn't interested in being in the same room with him.

6.  She expresses little or no interest in his hobbies like she once did.

7.  She doesn't smile much around him.

8.  She is very guarded about sharing her private life and feelings.  For instance, she talks about others' thoughts/ideas/activities, but rarely shares how she feels about too much of anything.

9.  She stops asking her date/boyfriend to buy her things.

10.  She shows little, if any, affection toward him and doesn't act very responsive toward him when it comes to sex.

If you are a woman reading this and can relate to many of these signs, chances are you just don't like your date much, it would be best to make plans and move on.  If you are a man reading this and really desire to keep your young lady friend around, step up your game and ask her does she really want to be in a relationship with you!

Nicholl McGuire  

Do You Know What You Really Want Young Woman, Older Gentleman?

The carefree attitude that a date might convey is such a draw when getting to know someone who looks and acts better than an ex.  In the beginning, everyone appears as if they are okay with just about anything one does.  "Do you have other people you are dating?"  Yes.  "Is it okay if we have sex?"  Sure.  "Do you like wild stuff?" Yeah.  "Would you mind if I asked you to...?"  Okay.  Everything seems so easy.  Right?  She compliments you on your physique and he talks about how much you are turning him on.  But then in time, things start to get complicated, doesn't it?

He wants you to do more of whatever you reluctantly agreed to.  She starts complaining about what you do or don't do.  What happened to the "No big deal" personality?  "How did we end up like this?" one asks his or herself.  The reason, there was never any boundaries.  The thought of protecting one's mind, body and spirit was too much for some and so they went along just to get along.

One must remember that when dating, you are still in a relationship with each and every person you are going out with, although short-lived at times, one is still relating to the other.  What this means is that eventually someone will be wanting something more if they sincerely like you.  Who wouldn't?  If I saw a piece of cake that I wanted, you think I wouldn't want a taste?  If you keep letting me eating of that cake, you are then training me to expect it. 

You have to know, whether you are returning to the dating scene, still in it, or planning to get out, what you truly want out of a partner or even better out of life?  If you are just blindly taking one day at a time, then you are leaving it up to someone else to dictate your future.  For instance, if a young woman knows that she wants to relocate in a week, a month, or a year from now and her older gentleman friend isn't planning on moving anywhere, guess who will want to try to change her plans?  Would he be willing to pack up his life for the sake of being with a younger partner?  Most likely not if he is content with his location.  A mature man knows that life outside of his sexual escapades is pretty much settled for him.

Now when one goes into a relationship with goals and visions of the future, he or she is seeking someone to help complete them.  Most people don't want to connect with individuals who can't help them in some way from friendship to business.  What is really the benefit in getting to know you?  What are you really receiving from the person you are dating besides the typical dinner, movie and sex at his or her house or a hotel some where?  What does the future really hold--more of the same?

Some people expect a lot when they date while others not so much.  When you have a good idea what you don't want when dating, you usually are able to determine what you do want.  Most individuals want a companion, a good friendship that just might last until death. 

Sometimes couples have a hard time in their relationships, because there is a failure to communicate what one really desires.  Men and women want to be heard in relationships and when there is more sexual groaning and moaning going on and less talking, in time one realizes he or she really doesn't know the person at all.  A date might want to get to know his sexual partner, but by that time it might be too late especially if the person has lost much interest.

So do take the time to share what you really want when dating a younger woman or older man, and who knows, it might grow into something more if you are willing.   

Nicholl McGuire author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street, a book of poems.