Age-Gap Dating: He's Old, Your Not -- So What's the Problem?

There is no age on love.  When you love someone you just do, there are no disclaimers, no shallow reasons, and no convincing oneself through affirmations!  You aren't focused on what the person looks like; rather you are more concerned with how your special someone makes you feel.  However, when the person isn't doing his or her part to make you feel special, you will begin to see flaws--all of them.  In time, the person's weaknesses become what's important rather than everything else if you don't keep things in proper perspective--you aren't perfect either!

An older man may have his own personal identity crisis due to the aging process complete with erratic hormone levels and the like.  Sometimes he takes his issues out on his youthful beauty, other times he doesn't.  Problems arise in the relationship when there is the up and down roller coaster ride of emotions that might be triggered for any number of reasons.  One day the mature man is confident in the relationship the next, he is not.  Although age might not be a factor (just yet) with the young woman, it may be an issue with him.  The young woman isn't aging as quickly as the older man.  She isn't experiencing any mid-life crisis.  She has very few, if any, unresolved issues from the past.  Her debt isn't any where near his.  Jealousy just might rear it's ugly head with some insecure, older men.

Witnesses who interact with the couple might see some things that they don't see in the couple's relationship.  If the older man is acting in ways that make the young woman consider things like breaking up, there is cause for concern.  Despite her youthful age and look, she might be feeling like the trouble of being with someone older just isn't worth it no matter how much money, notoriety or other things her older partner might have.

If you find yourself going through a myriad of emotions related to his age, think about whether dating an older man with his own set of personal hangups is really something you can tolerate long-term in addition to everything else you might be dealing with in your life.

Nicholl McGuire