He may not come right out and tell his dates, "Listen, I am not that guy who is going to go along just to get along. I am going to raise questions, drag my feet, and do any number of things if I suspect you want me to do something for you, agree to something you say..." But his actions or inactions in the relationship will one day expose who he really is after his charming demeanor begins to fade.
There is a personal power struggle with some men and they aren't much interested in sitting in the passenger seat, not even for a moment, in a friendship, casual dating arrangement, or serious relationship. They want to drive everyone and everything from the initial meetings with dates to how things go on in the bedroom. There is no working together. This is why many older men are divorced. They were controlling and still are that way and will never admit to this. When former wives started objecting to their demands and refused to take their mistreatment whether emotional or violent any longer, they were considered difficult women who didn't love and appreciate them. These men will do their best to appear like they were victims, but this just isn't the case with most. They provoked situations with evil looks, wicked statements, cheating, lying, acting cold, distant, and more toward their families and ex-partners started striking back. But an older man will tell a young woman anything for a good time, sex and a roof over his head if he hasn't accomplished too much in life.
As long as a young lady allows an older, controlling man to dominate the relationship, he might keep her around for awhile. But this sort of arrangement gets old and sooner or later the young lady will grow weary of the man making all the decisions like where to go, who to see, and so on. She will become irritated with having to wait for him to be in the mood to do this or that with her, then become further annoyed when he is dictating how long they stay at an event, how much money is spent, where they might move to or stay, etc. Cohabitate with a stubborn man and before long you are setting up the environment to suit him more-so than yourself.
You can't teach a man who has been with many women in his lifetime too much of anything. He has seen much, accomplished possibly more or not nearly enough for his age, and now all he wants is a youthful, working companion that looks cute, doesn't talk much, and has more commonalities than differences. His requests might seem simple enough, but a rigid man is not the least bit easy to get along with if you too are stubborn, controlling and enjoy being the new age, independent type. One day you will both reach the cross roads in your relationship, either give in or move on.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of
Laboring to Love Myself and other
books.
